1 00:00:00,433 --> 00:00:01,871 In the spring of 2009, 2 00:00:01,996 --> 00:00:05,338 I've been hired to design a new headquarters for Goliath National Bank. 3 00:00:05,781 --> 00:00:07,664 And I was eager to add as much of my voices 4 00:00:07,789 --> 00:00:09,925 as an architect into the plan as possible. 5 00:00:10,095 --> 00:00:11,170 Wood beams... 6 00:00:11,430 --> 00:00:13,880 bathed in natural light in the atrium. 7 00:00:15,451 --> 00:00:17,201 They're gonna to love it! 8 00:00:17,435 --> 00:00:19,098 There was only one problem 9 00:00:19,223 --> 00:00:21,095 and his name... was Bilson. 10 00:00:21,309 --> 00:00:22,158 Wood... 11 00:00:22,373 --> 00:00:23,573 natural light. 12 00:00:25,749 --> 00:00:28,945 Natural light reminds the workers that there's an outside world 13 00:00:29,113 --> 00:00:31,330 where they had family and friends. 14 00:00:31,455 --> 00:00:32,866 We want to crash that! 15 00:00:33,553 --> 00:00:36,371 You show up in the dark, you go home in the dark. 16 00:00:36,496 --> 00:00:39,497 You spend your whole damn day... in the dark! 17 00:00:40,567 --> 00:00:42,634 I need to hear Lily's voice. 18 00:00:42,759 --> 00:00:44,369 Who said you could leave? 19 00:00:45,671 --> 00:00:48,397 Bilson was killing every original idea I had. 20 00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:51,085 Then, one day GNB took him off the project 21 00:00:51,210 --> 00:00:54,125 to created a new task force to oversee my designs. 22 00:00:54,250 --> 00:00:55,729 Suddenly, everything changed. 23 00:00:55,854 --> 00:00:58,820 We'll have a roof top in the end of the garden for quiet contemplation. 24 00:00:58,945 --> 00:01:00,996 We'll have a reflecting pool in the lobby where 25 00:01:01,121 --> 00:01:03,438 local children can come to make wishes. 26 00:01:04,155 --> 00:01:05,148 The New GNB, 27 00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:06,956 a place of work 28 00:01:07,941 --> 00:01:09,402 that you can call "home". 29 00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:12,279 Thank you, and... 30 00:01:13,732 --> 00:01:14,838 welcome home. 31 00:01:21,067 --> 00:01:22,745 Everything was going great, 32 00:01:22,870 --> 00:01:24,843 until one day, in the elevator. 33 00:01:31,348 --> 00:01:32,548 Yeah, it's Ted. 34 00:01:34,404 --> 00:01:38,257 I did not approved that change for the blueprints for the new GNB headquarters 35 00:01:38,382 --> 00:01:41,683 which I'm the head architect, and I'm only 30 years old. 36 00:01:43,033 --> 00:01:45,359 I'm single, I'm not gifted charity. 37 00:01:45,484 --> 00:01:47,232 What is that has to do with anything. 38 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:50,068 Goodbye, Mr. Mayor. 39 00:01:51,788 --> 00:01:54,626 You know that was a fake phone call, don't you? 40 00:01:54,751 --> 00:01:57,624 And I also know that the new GNB headquarters project 41 00:01:57,749 --> 00:01:59,449 was scrapped last month. 42 00:02:00,121 --> 00:02:01,215 Nice try. 43 00:02:03,291 --> 00:02:05,503 Traduction : MiniBen314, Eomyn et Lino72 44 00:02:05,628 --> 00:02:07,460 Synchro : Mickeyte et MiniBen314 45 00:02:07,670 --> 00:02:10,142 Relecture : MiniBen314 Transcript : Shooter 46 00:02:10,267 --> 00:02:13,725 How I Met Your Mother 4x18 - Old King Clancy 47 00:02:13,850 --> 00:02:15,969 par la "Have You Met Team" pour www.forom.com 48 00:02:16,288 --> 00:02:18,763 Check out Scarlett Johansson at the Oscars. 49 00:02:18,931 --> 00:02:22,248 If I could nail any celebrity, it would definitely be Scarlett Johansson. 50 00:02:22,373 --> 00:02:25,654 Hot, talented, and nobody does that many in Woody Allen's movies 51 00:02:25,779 --> 00:02:27,626 without serious daddy's issues. 52 00:02:27,751 --> 00:02:29,816 If I could nail any celebrities, it would be Lily. 53 00:02:29,941 --> 00:02:31,630 She's the star of my heart. 54 00:02:32,762 --> 00:02:34,821 For me, it would be Hugh Jackman. 55 00:02:35,555 --> 00:02:37,293 You know, I don't know, celebrities, 56 00:02:37,418 --> 00:02:39,610 they're into some really weird sex stuff. 57 00:02:39,735 --> 00:02:40,831 Trust me. 58 00:02:40,956 --> 00:02:42,733 How would you know that? 59 00:02:44,068 --> 00:02:45,725 This is embarassing, but I... 60 00:02:46,233 --> 00:02:48,676 I went home with a celebrity one night. 61 00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:51,193 Oh my God! Seriously? 62 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:55,105 He wanted to do this really freaky things with me, so I left. 63 00:02:55,230 --> 00:02:57,035 That's it. End of the story. 64 00:02:57,985 --> 00:03:01,708 Not end of the story. I need to know who, what, when, and in where. 65 00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:02,754 Spill it! 66 00:03:03,092 --> 00:03:05,722 Please settle down. You're swallowing to much air. 67 00:03:06,187 --> 00:03:07,747 But before you go any further, 68 00:03:07,872 --> 00:03:10,765 I'm flattered, but technically, I'm not a celebrity. 69 00:03:11,140 --> 00:03:14,553 Plus, for the last time, I put the mask on as a joke. 70 00:03:14,678 --> 00:03:15,862 Not you Barney. 71 00:03:16,834 --> 00:03:17,834 Who is it? 72 00:03:19,848 --> 00:03:21,576 Now you give Lily the hiccups. 73 00:03:21,864 --> 00:03:23,944 I won't tell you anything specific. 74 00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:27,101 But, all I'll say is that he is Canadian born, 75 00:03:27,226 --> 00:03:28,677 but you definitely know this guy. 76 00:03:28,802 --> 00:03:31,412 And he got me back to his place by offering to show me 77 00:03:31,537 --> 00:03:33,087 a very unique collection. 78 00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:34,631 What do you mean collection? 79 00:03:34,799 --> 00:03:37,985 You know some people collects like stamps or coins, it's like that. 80 00:03:38,110 --> 00:03:39,192 But I'm not telling. 81 00:03:39,317 --> 00:03:41,779 At least tell us the weird thing he wanted to do. 82 00:03:41,904 --> 00:03:43,709 I don't know what you call it in the States, 83 00:03:43,834 --> 00:03:45,378 but we have a name for it in Canada. 84 00:03:45,503 --> 00:03:47,641 Look, I've already said too much. 85 00:03:47,766 --> 00:03:51,304 So, mystery celebrity who collects a mystery item 86 00:03:51,570 --> 00:03:54,816 asked you to do a mystery Canadian sex act. 87 00:03:55,931 --> 00:03:56,861 Tell us! 88 00:03:57,652 --> 00:03:58,852 I'll tell you. 89 00:03:59,389 --> 00:04:03,112 But only if you guess all three parts correctly. 90 00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:05,662 - That's just impossible. - Exactly. 91 00:04:06,035 --> 00:04:08,236 I don't even know any Canadian sex acts. 92 00:04:08,361 --> 00:04:09,804 You got your Sloppy Dog Sled, 93 00:04:09,929 --> 00:04:12,335 your Newfoundland Lobster Trap, your Full Mountie. 94 00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:13,878 How do you know all these? 95 00:04:14,166 --> 00:04:16,896 Canadiansexacts.org, it's bookmarked on the top right. 96 00:04:17,021 --> 00:04:18,007 Dot org? 97 00:04:18,643 --> 00:04:21,594 It's not for profit. They really wanna just get the information out there. 98 00:04:23,103 --> 00:04:25,682 So I just had the weirdest conversation. 99 00:04:25,850 --> 00:04:29,628 This woman at GNB told me that the new bank building was scrapped last month. 100 00:04:29,753 --> 00:04:31,229 It's crazy, right? 101 00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:33,398 Wait, what's that look? 102 00:04:33,566 --> 00:04:35,466 - Should we tell him? - I don't wanna tell him. 103 00:04:35,591 --> 00:04:37,713 - I think we should tell him. - We're not telling him. 104 00:04:37,838 --> 00:04:39,658 - There was no look. - Guys, what the hell? 105 00:04:39,783 --> 00:04:42,230 It's time that you know the truth. A few weeks ago, 106 00:04:42,355 --> 00:04:44,449 Bilson called us into his office. 107 00:04:44,856 --> 00:04:47,969 We're scrapping the plan for the new GNB headquarters. 108 00:04:48,094 --> 00:04:50,206 This recession is killing us. 109 00:04:50,573 --> 00:04:52,723 We're cutting anything non-essential. 110 00:04:53,333 --> 00:04:55,221 And I have a lot of tough choices to make 111 00:04:55,346 --> 00:04:57,879 to buy courtly retreat in Saint Croix. 112 00:04:58,672 --> 00:05:00,479 Ted is gonna be devastated. 113 00:05:00,604 --> 00:05:02,870 Not when he hears it coming from his best friend. 114 00:05:02,995 --> 00:05:05,132 - I have to tell him. - I have to tell him. 115 00:05:05,431 --> 00:05:07,222 You should tell him, you're his best friend. 116 00:05:07,347 --> 00:05:08,507 You're his best friend. 117 00:05:08,632 --> 00:05:10,055 I'm not, you're his best friend. 118 00:05:10,180 --> 00:05:11,355 Quiet, here he comes. 119 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:14,712 The white dude or the Asian fellow? See I bearly know the guy. 120 00:05:16,855 --> 00:05:18,113 How're you doing? 121 00:05:18,238 --> 00:05:19,489 I'm frustrated. 122 00:05:19,614 --> 00:05:21,452 Anything innovative I put on my designs 123 00:05:21,577 --> 00:05:23,650 Bilson just hacks out with a machete 124 00:05:23,775 --> 00:05:25,973 I hate to answer to a guy like that. 125 00:05:26,098 --> 00:05:28,797 - You should drop the project. - You should totally drop the project. 126 00:05:28,922 --> 00:05:30,613 - It's beneath you. - Then it's settled. 127 00:05:30,738 --> 00:05:32,714 To Ted Mosby's new chapter... 128 00:05:32,839 --> 00:05:34,107 Are you kidding? 129 00:05:34,232 --> 00:05:36,827 They just lay off another architect at my firm. 130 00:05:36,952 --> 00:05:38,994 Bilson is a pain sure. But... 131 00:05:39,119 --> 00:05:41,370 without this project, I'm probably out of job. 132 00:05:43,198 --> 00:05:45,306 It's funny that you metioned the project, because... 133 00:05:45,431 --> 00:05:47,639 You're nailing it. Keep up the good work buddy. 134 00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:50,104 Your hair and teeth look fantastic today. 135 00:05:50,229 --> 00:05:52,101 You're shining like a diamond! 136 00:05:53,892 --> 00:05:54,846 Thank you. 137 00:05:55,206 --> 00:05:56,406 I needed that. 138 00:05:56,841 --> 00:05:58,766 I'm going to head upstairs and keep working. 139 00:05:58,891 --> 00:06:02,516 I got to find a way to introduce some wood into Bilson's dark atrium. 140 00:06:03,541 --> 00:06:05,541 I think you know what I meant. 141 00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:09,659 - What was that? - What? 142 00:06:09,784 --> 00:06:11,199 I have a thought. 143 00:06:11,386 --> 00:06:14,959 We're paying Ted's firm for two more months of design work no matter what, 144 00:06:15,084 --> 00:06:18,175 so couldn't we just let him keep working and not tell him? 145 00:06:18,300 --> 00:06:19,664 He's had a rough year. 146 00:06:19,789 --> 00:06:22,159 Let's let the guy be happy a little while longer. 147 00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:26,148 What you're suggesting is an elaborate, long-term lie 148 00:06:26,273 --> 00:06:28,351 that requires tremendous commitment. 149 00:06:28,476 --> 00:06:30,844 A nice guy like you can't pull that off. 150 00:06:31,298 --> 00:06:33,518 - Sure I can. - Lie to me right now. 151 00:06:35,273 --> 00:06:37,128 - I have a spaceship. - What kind of fuel 152 00:06:37,253 --> 00:06:39,411 - powers your spaceship? - I don't have a spaceship. 153 00:06:40,739 --> 00:06:43,409 Stand your ground! If someone questions you, 154 00:06:43,534 --> 00:06:46,023 distract them from the original lie with more lies. 155 00:06:46,148 --> 00:06:48,682 Here, let me demonstrate. I own a pony. 156 00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:50,379 Ask me a question. 157 00:06:53,321 --> 00:06:54,573 What color is your pony? 158 00:06:54,698 --> 00:06:57,867 When I first got Dandelion, she was a deep, chestnut brown, 159 00:06:57,992 --> 00:07:01,026 but, sadly, her stable is located near a chemical plant, 160 00:07:01,151 --> 00:07:03,445 which contaminated the drinking water. So over time, 161 00:07:03,570 --> 00:07:06,749 she's turned a sickly, grayish white color and 162 00:07:06,874 --> 00:07:09,387 there's nothing that the vet can do to fix her. 163 00:07:10,227 --> 00:07:12,596 My God! I'm... That's horrible. 164 00:07:12,721 --> 00:07:14,525 Is Dandelion going to be okay? 165 00:07:17,097 --> 00:07:18,316 You are good! 166 00:07:18,441 --> 00:07:20,690 Dandelion's not even sick, is she? 167 00:07:23,670 --> 00:07:26,802 So the building's really dead and you guys lied to me. 168 00:07:26,927 --> 00:07:29,253 We... just did it to protect you. 169 00:07:29,378 --> 00:07:31,470 I can't believe this. I just got screwed 170 00:07:31,595 --> 00:07:34,319 by my two best friends and I didn't even know it. 171 00:07:36,052 --> 00:07:38,782 In Canada, that's called a "Sneaky Snowplow." 172 00:07:43,454 --> 00:07:47,341 That building was my dream job, and now, it's just gone. 173 00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:48,994 We're so sorry, Ted. 174 00:07:49,409 --> 00:07:50,880 I need a drink. 175 00:07:51,256 --> 00:07:52,206 Poor Ted. 176 00:07:53,218 --> 00:07:56,267 Would I seem heartless if I switched us back to Canadian sex acts? 177 00:07:56,435 --> 00:07:58,142 I'm surprised you waited this long. 178 00:07:58,267 --> 00:08:00,271 What the hell is a "Two-Hand Zamboni"? 179 00:08:00,597 --> 00:08:03,120 Let's just say, the only thing the woman is wearing 180 00:08:03,245 --> 00:08:05,234 is skates on her hands. 181 00:08:05,969 --> 00:08:07,862 A "Manitoba Milk Bag"? 182 00:08:08,030 --> 00:08:09,819 It's like a "Chicago Mustache," 183 00:08:09,944 --> 00:08:12,999 but the person on the bottom is wearing a snowsuit. 184 00:08:13,124 --> 00:08:15,369 A "Newfoundland Lobster Trap"? 185 00:08:15,657 --> 00:08:19,081 Don't know. Don't want to know. Those Newfies are out of control. 186 00:08:19,922 --> 00:08:21,652 I'm going to make my first guess. 187 00:08:21,777 --> 00:08:24,265 But I'll only tell you if you correctly guess the person, 188 00:08:24,390 --> 00:08:26,422 the act and the collection. 189 00:08:26,873 --> 00:08:28,114 I'm going to go. 190 00:08:28,409 --> 00:08:29,509 Bryan Adams. 191 00:08:29,807 --> 00:08:31,761 He collects baseball cards, 192 00:08:32,414 --> 00:08:34,161 and he wanted to do 193 00:08:34,286 --> 00:08:35,879 a "Greasy Kayak." 194 00:08:37,976 --> 00:08:39,176 Wayne Gretzky, 195 00:08:39,453 --> 00:08:40,903 vintage Hot Wheels, 196 00:08:41,375 --> 00:08:42,925 a "Squatting Eskimo." 197 00:08:44,227 --> 00:08:45,527 Kiefer Sutherland, 198 00:08:45,652 --> 00:08:47,809 souvenir shot glasses, and 199 00:08:48,286 --> 00:08:50,028 a "Sticky Flapjack." 200 00:08:51,154 --> 00:08:52,985 That I would have done. 201 00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:53,961 Wait. 202 00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:57,056 Wait, if they pulled the plug on the project a month ago, 203 00:08:57,181 --> 00:08:58,991 why have I been going in once a week to meet 204 00:08:59,116 --> 00:09:01,282 with the New Headquarters Task Force? 205 00:09:01,407 --> 00:09:04,450 Obviously you couldn't come in and pitch to Bilson. 206 00:09:04,575 --> 00:09:07,004 We... invented the task force. 207 00:09:07,688 --> 00:09:10,549 Then it was just a question of putting together the team. 208 00:09:11,511 --> 00:09:14,995 You know Roy Waterman, Vice President of Capital and Risk? 209 00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:16,509 He's actually... 210 00:09:16,682 --> 00:09:17,908 Roy the janitor. 211 00:09:18,033 --> 00:09:21,393 Excuse me, Roy. How'd you like to make a few extra bucks? 212 00:09:23,148 --> 00:09:25,135 How naked do I have to get? 213 00:09:26,349 --> 00:09:29,158 Louisa Mendoza, Executive Vice President of Assets? 214 00:09:29,605 --> 00:09:30,861 She's actually... 215 00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:32,964 Louisa the lunch lady. 216 00:09:33,089 --> 00:09:35,394 Louisa, I need your help with something, but 217 00:09:35,519 --> 00:09:37,221 you can't tell anybody. 218 00:09:37,346 --> 00:09:38,646 I don't speak English. 219 00:09:39,469 --> 00:09:42,171 Exactly. This is a big secret. 220 00:09:42,296 --> 00:09:44,449 How do you say "secret" in Spanish? 221 00:09:44,574 --> 00:09:45,624 Meatballs? 222 00:09:47,730 --> 00:09:48,780 Albondigas. 223 00:09:49,581 --> 00:09:51,717 This will be our little 224 00:09:51,842 --> 00:09:52,892 albondigas. 225 00:09:54,604 --> 00:09:57,029 Can I have a couple meatballs, please 226 00:09:57,522 --> 00:10:01,308 And Arthur Nasmith, the eccentric genius guru of corporate investments? 227 00:10:02,099 --> 00:10:03,394 He's actually... 228 00:10:03,562 --> 00:10:06,834 Crazy Arty, 15th Street's own one-man band. 229 00:10:06,959 --> 00:10:09,066 Excuse me. Do you have a minute to talk? 230 00:10:09,445 --> 00:10:12,450 Actually, my assistant, Reginald, makes all my appointments. 231 00:10:17,833 --> 00:10:19,823 We rounded out the group with a few interns 232 00:10:19,948 --> 00:10:21,752 and paid everyone 15 buks to act 233 00:10:21,877 --> 00:10:23,873 super interested in what you were saying. 234 00:10:30,756 --> 00:10:33,423 Reginald, get me out of this for next week. 235 00:10:34,113 --> 00:10:36,250 That was some of the most inspired design work 236 00:10:36,375 --> 00:10:38,220 I've done in my entire career. 237 00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:39,739 I was so excited. 238 00:10:42,516 --> 00:10:44,816 Alex Trebek, a "Musty Goaltender," 239 00:10:44,941 --> 00:10:47,097 Beanie Babies! Damn it! 240 00:10:47,620 --> 00:10:48,421 Wait. 241 00:10:48,771 --> 00:10:51,192 So that explains the thing that happened with Louisa. 242 00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:54,154 - Good job, buddy. - Nice, nice! 243 00:10:57,494 --> 00:11:00,920 Listen, Louisa. What are we going to do about... 244 00:11:01,507 --> 00:11:02,307 this? 245 00:11:04,144 --> 00:11:06,243 Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. 246 00:11:06,368 --> 00:11:08,068 I know you feel it, too. 247 00:11:09,906 --> 00:11:11,106 What the hell. 248 00:11:12,745 --> 00:11:13,894 No, I can't... 249 00:11:14,019 --> 00:11:16,592 I'm already engaged to Mr. Barney. 250 00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:18,506 Ah, who cares... 251 00:11:18,631 --> 00:11:19,887 we live but once! 252 00:11:24,054 --> 00:11:25,254 This is wrong! 253 00:11:25,576 --> 00:11:26,708 For God's sake. 254 00:11:26,833 --> 00:11:28,583 You're on the task force! 255 00:11:31,081 --> 00:11:33,359 Is there anything else you want to tell me? 256 00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:38,368 You know how you played third base for the GNB softball team? 257 00:11:39,527 --> 00:11:41,618 There is no GNB softball team. 258 00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:44,534 We just rented out a field, rounded up a bunch of guys 259 00:11:44,659 --> 00:11:46,497 and told them to make you the hero. 260 00:11:47,103 --> 00:11:49,253 So my game-winning walk was a lie? 261 00:11:50,085 --> 00:11:52,862 We're sorry, Ted, but we knew you'd be out of work soon, and we just... 262 00:11:52,987 --> 00:11:55,511 we just wanted to make you feel good. That's what friends do. 263 00:11:55,636 --> 00:11:56,708 Lie to each other? 264 00:11:56,833 --> 00:11:59,109 Sometimes, yeah, to protect each other's feelings. 265 00:11:59,234 --> 00:12:01,166 No way! You never lie to your friends. 266 00:12:01,291 --> 00:12:03,633 - I would never not be honest with you. - Really? 267 00:12:03,758 --> 00:12:06,099 What about that open mic night at the comedy club? 268 00:12:06,817 --> 00:12:08,622 Are you like me, folks. 269 00:12:08,747 --> 00:12:12,472 Have you ever thought about how many different kinds of fish there are? 270 00:12:12,801 --> 00:12:13,601 And... 271 00:12:14,250 --> 00:12:16,068 the names of those fish. 272 00:12:17,955 --> 00:12:19,888 Let's... take a little ride. 273 00:12:22,231 --> 00:12:23,131 "Trout." 274 00:12:23,921 --> 00:12:25,981 Am I right? "Sturgeon." 275 00:12:26,106 --> 00:12:27,642 I don't think so, pal. 276 00:12:28,127 --> 00:12:29,051 "Salmon." 277 00:12:29,848 --> 00:12:31,507 I'm going to say that again, 278 00:12:31,961 --> 00:12:32,834 salmon. 279 00:12:32,959 --> 00:12:35,390 Who thought that was a good idea, right? 280 00:12:35,515 --> 00:12:38,918 "Bass." This guy over here knows what I'm talking about. 281 00:12:40,076 --> 00:12:41,135 "Halibut." 282 00:12:41,437 --> 00:12:42,969 Thank you, good night. 283 00:12:46,458 --> 00:12:48,892 - How was I? - You were great. Really funny. 284 00:12:49,135 --> 00:12:50,285 You killed... 285 00:12:51,216 --> 00:12:53,016 everyone's Thursday night. 286 00:12:54,801 --> 00:12:55,751 Time out. 287 00:12:56,075 --> 00:12:57,568 You didn't like the fish list? 288 00:12:57,785 --> 00:13:01,374 It was horrible! You just read a list of fish. 289 00:13:04,933 --> 00:13:05,883 Anyway... 290 00:13:06,617 --> 00:13:08,376 you guys just proved my point, okay? 291 00:13:08,501 --> 00:13:10,402 You lied to me to protect my feelings. 292 00:13:10,527 --> 00:13:13,836 This is completely different! I just wasted a month of my life 293 00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:15,228 working on a dead project. 294 00:13:15,353 --> 00:13:18,158 That's time I could've spent trying to bring my firm new business. 295 00:13:18,283 --> 00:13:20,766 Instead, I'm going to go in there tomorrow morning. 296 00:13:20,891 --> 00:13:22,431 I'm probably going to get fired. 297 00:13:22,556 --> 00:13:23,830 Best case scenario, 298 00:13:23,955 --> 00:13:27,081 my boss is going to ream me out in front of everybody. 299 00:13:28,545 --> 00:13:30,995 - Back home, we call that a Sas... - "Saskatoon Totem Pole." 300 00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:32,428 It's on here. 301 00:13:37,776 --> 00:13:39,945 Good morning, lying bastards. 302 00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:43,614 Anything you want to lie about before I head off to work to get fired? 303 00:13:43,902 --> 00:13:45,738 - That's a nice shirt. - You're the devil. 304 00:13:46,545 --> 00:13:48,979 What if we told you that we found you a new project at GNB 305 00:13:49,104 --> 00:13:51,824 where you would be redesigning part of the 20th floor? 306 00:13:52,083 --> 00:13:54,373 If that's a lie, it's an incredibly dull one. 307 00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:56,764 What exactly would I be doing? 308 00:13:56,889 --> 00:13:59,463 This is the 18th floor E.T.R. 309 00:13:59,866 --> 00:14:02,014 Basically, Bilson wants a room just like this, 310 00:14:02,139 --> 00:14:03,759 only two stories up, on our floor. 311 00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:05,205 Wait, what's an E.T.R.? 312 00:14:05,330 --> 00:14:07,179 It's the Employee Transition Room. 313 00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:08,663 What does that mean? 314 00:14:08,963 --> 00:14:11,883 It's a space where a supervisor and an employee 315 00:14:12,008 --> 00:14:14,172 engage in a knowledge transfer about 316 00:14:14,297 --> 00:14:16,801 an impending vocational paradigm shift. 317 00:14:17,581 --> 00:14:19,100 People get fired in here. 318 00:14:19,225 --> 00:14:20,520 That's horrible. 319 00:14:21,195 --> 00:14:23,561 Why do you need a room specifically for firing people? 320 00:14:23,686 --> 00:14:26,436 Well... GNB feels that people need a safe, 321 00:14:26,561 --> 00:14:29,208 secure space to deal with the news. 322 00:14:30,782 --> 00:14:32,204 It gets pretty real in here. 323 00:15:18,820 --> 00:15:22,426 So I reluctantly agreed to design a room where people would be fired. 324 00:15:22,551 --> 00:15:24,378 But I was determined to make it my own. 325 00:15:24,503 --> 00:15:26,584 Now, when you leave the dismissal space, 326 00:15:26,709 --> 00:15:28,934 you'll exit into what I'm calling 327 00:15:29,059 --> 00:15:31,680 the Rebirth Tranquility Hallway. 328 00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:36,751 Here, you'll find a soothing oval chamber 329 00:15:36,876 --> 00:15:38,745 with a trained grief counselor. 330 00:15:38,870 --> 00:15:41,182 It's right here, past the New Beginnings Fountain. 331 00:15:42,610 --> 00:15:43,866 And there you have it. 332 00:15:43,991 --> 00:15:46,456 Instead of a drab, dark prison cell, 333 00:15:47,219 --> 00:15:48,814 a nurturing womb... 334 00:15:49,951 --> 00:15:52,440 birthing you into a new life. 335 00:15:53,626 --> 00:15:55,273 - I love it. - Really? 336 00:15:56,321 --> 00:15:58,123 - Nice work, Ted. - Thank you. 337 00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:01,627 Can you add some of these touches to the existing 18th floor E.T.R. as well? 338 00:16:01,915 --> 00:16:03,670 - Absolutely. - Great. 339 00:16:03,838 --> 00:16:05,266 Let's take a look. 340 00:16:10,031 --> 00:16:12,848 - So I'm thinking this wall... - You're fired! 341 00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:14,857 - What! - I wanted this room! 342 00:16:14,982 --> 00:16:17,643 This exact room, two floors up! 343 00:16:17,952 --> 00:16:19,703 - But... - You're fired! 344 00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:21,971 Now, get the hell out of here. 345 00:16:32,117 --> 00:16:33,787 Anyone from the band Rush, 346 00:16:33,912 --> 00:16:37,871 "Montreal Meatpie," and "superhero lunch boxes." 347 00:16:40,287 --> 00:16:43,668 Rick Moranis, "The Reverse Rick Moranis," 348 00:16:43,991 --> 00:16:45,253 "Antique Judaic." 349 00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:48,311 I give up. I've been guessing 350 00:16:48,436 --> 00:16:50,718 for three days. I'm done. 351 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,598 If that means I never get to know, so be it. 352 00:16:53,723 --> 00:16:55,148 - Fine. - Tell us! 353 00:16:55,369 --> 00:16:57,015 Tell us! Tell us! 354 00:16:57,572 --> 00:16:59,269 Okay, you really want to know? 355 00:17:01,928 --> 00:17:04,977 But this information does not leave this table. 356 00:17:06,405 --> 00:17:08,986 Oh, my, God. I am so excited. 357 00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:12,863 - I'm going to read it. - Read it. 358 00:17:12,988 --> 00:17:15,188 I'm going to read it. Here we go. 359 00:17:15,764 --> 00:17:17,635 "The Frozen Snowshoe, 360 00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:19,238 Old King Clancy, 361 00:17:19,614 --> 00:17:20,990 Harvey's trays." 362 00:17:24,271 --> 00:17:25,085 Right. 363 00:17:26,028 --> 00:17:28,468 I don't know what any of those words mean. 364 00:17:29,303 --> 00:17:32,009 Is one of those supposed to be a celebrity? 365 00:17:32,603 --> 00:17:33,703 Who the hell 366 00:17:34,253 --> 00:17:35,762 is Old King Clancy? 367 00:17:36,201 --> 00:17:39,101 No, that's not the person, that's the sex act. 368 00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:43,212 It's the same as a "Sacramento Turtleneck," except with maple syrup. 369 00:17:43,548 --> 00:17:46,523 So the celebrity was Harvey Straze? 370 00:17:47,325 --> 00:17:50,027 That's what he collected. Harvey's trays. 371 00:17:50,152 --> 00:17:53,886 Those classic orange trays you get whenever you eat at Harvey's? 372 00:17:54,534 --> 00:17:55,790 The restaurant? 373 00:17:55,915 --> 00:17:59,089 Come on, you're road tripping down the Trans-Canada Highway, 374 00:17:59,214 --> 00:18:01,639 you get a hunger on between Milverton and Wawa, 375 00:18:01,764 --> 00:18:03,781 where you gonna strap on a feed bag, huh? 376 00:18:03,906 --> 00:18:06,297 Harvey's. Over 12,000 served! 377 00:18:07,603 --> 00:18:09,004 So the celebrity was... 378 00:18:09,265 --> 00:18:11,256 The Frozen Snowshoe. 379 00:18:12,437 --> 00:18:15,806 Oh, my God! You guys have never heard of The Frozen Snowshoe? 380 00:18:15,931 --> 00:18:19,088 He's only the most famous professional wrestler in Canada. 381 00:18:19,213 --> 00:18:21,538 I met him after he defeated 382 00:18:21,663 --> 00:18:25,607 Reckless Rick Rogers in the Kamloops Memorial Arena back in '02. 383 00:18:26,016 --> 00:18:27,523 Classic match. 384 00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:30,873 So you're saying The Frozen Snowshoe 385 00:18:31,196 --> 00:18:35,636 invited you back to his place to look at Harvey's trays, 386 00:18:35,761 --> 00:18:38,408 and asked you to do an Old King Clancy? 387 00:18:38,619 --> 00:18:39,580 Exactly. 388 00:18:39,962 --> 00:18:42,996 And I'm serious, you cannot tell anyone. 389 00:18:43,791 --> 00:18:47,000 My hiccups are gone. Possibly forever. 390 00:18:47,913 --> 00:18:50,340 Canada! You did it again. 391 00:18:50,587 --> 00:18:53,186 You even found a way to ruin this. 392 00:18:54,066 --> 00:18:56,960 Why do we let you be a country? 393 00:18:58,119 --> 00:18:59,091 Mister mister. 394 00:18:59,216 --> 00:19:02,527 Shouldn't you be upstairs designing your big, fancy E.T.R. 395 00:19:02,652 --> 00:19:04,813 - I'm off the project. - What? 396 00:19:04,938 --> 00:19:07,512 - Bilson fired me. - You're kidding me. 397 00:19:07,637 --> 00:19:09,551 So what does this mean for you at your firm? 398 00:19:09,676 --> 00:19:11,525 Are you going to get laid off? 399 00:19:11,972 --> 00:19:13,944 Actually, I just quit. 400 00:19:14,155 --> 00:19:15,001 Why? 401 00:19:15,267 --> 00:19:18,713 Because I can't work for big, heartless corporate clients anymore. 402 00:19:18,838 --> 00:19:20,771 When I was pitching to your "task force," 403 00:19:20,896 --> 00:19:23,210 I was doing the most inspired work of my career. 404 00:19:23,335 --> 00:19:24,394 In a way, 405 00:19:24,519 --> 00:19:27,190 you idiots reminded me how much fun my job can be 406 00:19:27,315 --> 00:19:30,252 when I'm not answering to the Bilsons of the world, so... 407 00:19:30,377 --> 00:19:31,227 I quit. 408 00:19:34,008 --> 00:19:36,305 - They fired you, didn't they? - Yes, sir. 409 00:19:36,430 --> 00:19:39,984 But I got a sweet severance package and I've made a big decision. 410 00:19:40,353 --> 00:19:42,611 I'm going to start my own firm. 411 00:19:42,736 --> 00:19:45,136 - That's exciting. - In this economy? 412 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:47,435 So you're not... mad? 413 00:19:48,039 --> 00:19:49,277 As it turns out, 414 00:19:49,790 --> 00:19:50,940 I'm grateful. 415 00:19:53,263 --> 00:19:55,915 So how'd it all go down between you and Bilson? 416 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:58,725 After he proposed a vocational paradigm shift, 417 00:19:58,850 --> 00:20:01,806 I made an impromptu presentation using a four-pronged approach 418 00:20:01,931 --> 00:20:03,549 that really brought him to his knees. 419 00:20:03,674 --> 00:20:06,260 Hit him with a chair? That's my boy. 420 00:20:10,493 --> 00:20:13,764 And this one, I got on the drive from Milverton to Wawa. 421 00:20:14,889 --> 00:20:18,008 That's pretty impressive, The Frozen Snowshoe. 422 00:20:18,313 --> 00:20:20,519 Please, we're friends. Just call me "Shoe." 423 00:20:21,323 --> 00:20:22,436 Have a seat. 424 00:20:27,997 --> 00:20:29,047 So, Shoe... 425 00:20:30,245 --> 00:20:32,777 How would you like to give me... 426 00:20:34,528 --> 00:20:35,978 an Old King Clancy? 427 00:20:40,042 --> 00:20:41,580 I think you should go.