1
00:00:01,620 --> 00:00:02,299
Let's go.

2
00:00:02,300 --> 00:00:05,040
You've been in there for 20 minutes. You
don't need to shave your legs above the

3
00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:07,020
knee. No one should be looking up there
anyway.

4
00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:08,600
I'm not shaving my legs anymore.

5
00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:10,780
I'm growing it out, like your ear hair.

6
00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:13,500
Guess what, Sasquatch? It's hereditary.

7
00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:18,160
Come on, Max. Let's go, brother. I'm
going to be late for work. You're a kid.

8
00:00:18,240 --> 00:00:19,240
You should hate being clean.

9
00:00:19,540 --> 00:00:20,540
I do.

10
00:00:21,940 --> 00:00:23,620
I haven't showered in three days.

11
00:00:24,180 --> 00:00:26,440
Me and Jimmy Cregan are having a stink
-off.

12
00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:29,440
You win.

13
00:00:36,330 --> 00:00:39,130
Unless, of course, you want me to come
in there.

14
00:00:40,990 --> 00:00:42,330
I take that as a yes.

15
00:00:42,730 --> 00:00:43,790
Close your eyes, baby.

16
00:00:44,170 --> 00:00:46,490
Here comes Ramon the towel boy.

17
00:00:47,790 --> 00:00:48,790
Oh, God!

18
00:00:50,130 --> 00:00:53,110
Oh, that ain't right! Hey, perv, did you
enjoy the show?

19
00:00:58,730 --> 00:01:00,510
Angie, Angie, quick, show me your body.

20
00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:05,440
I tell you, your mom's using our shower.

21
00:01:06,060 --> 00:01:08,560
Man, with all the steam in there, it was
like gorillas in the mist.

22
00:01:11,980 --> 00:01:12,980
What's wrong with her shower?

23
00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:16,620
Her drain's clogged. It takes a day for
the water to go down.

24
00:01:16,940 --> 00:01:18,120
You should fix it for her.

25
00:01:18,860 --> 00:01:19,860
No.

26
00:01:21,460 --> 00:01:26,000
No? Hey, I always do things for her.
Getting her groceries, fixing her car.

27
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,080
never appreciates it. So you know what?
I'm done.

28
00:01:29,020 --> 00:01:31,660
George, I'm sure she appreciates it,
but... Angie.

29
00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:35,820
I've spent my entire life trying to get
a thank you from that woman, and all I

30
00:01:35,820 --> 00:01:36,820
get is sarcasm.

31
00:01:37,620 --> 00:01:38,900
Thanks for the stretch marks.

32
00:01:41,260 --> 00:01:43,940
Thanks for sitting in front of the TV
with that big head.

33
00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:49,140
Thanks for scaring away all my dates by
saying, are you my new daddy?

34
00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:54,560
Come on, I could swear in 15 years I've
heard her say thank you. No.

35
00:01:54,860 --> 00:01:59,660
You just imagined it because you live in
Angie land, where the sky is blue.

36
00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:02,560
and people always say thank you and
howdy.

37
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,500
Oh, you look so cute in that top.

38
00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:11,039
So you're telling me your mom never says
thank you and every time you tell me I

39
00:02:11,039 --> 00:02:12,860
look cute in something, I'm imagining
it?

40
00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,080
Cold and dark out here, isn't it?

41
00:02:16,660 --> 00:02:18,100
You're being ridiculous.

42
00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:19,720
I bet she says it.

43
00:02:19,980 --> 00:02:22,140
If you don't believe me, do something
nice for her. You'll see.

44
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:24,740
Oh, hey, Mr. Peepers.

45
00:02:30,990 --> 00:02:32,310
I hope there's a 20 -drink minimum.

46
00:02:35,710 --> 00:02:39,290
Hey, Angie, why don't you get my mom a
cup of coffee? I'm sure she would

47
00:02:39,290 --> 00:02:40,510
appreciate it.

48
00:02:42,790 --> 00:02:45,530
I'm sure she will appreciate it.

49
00:02:48,310 --> 00:02:49,670
Here you go, Benny.

50
00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:51,070
Nice and hot.

51
00:02:51,230 --> 00:02:52,370
What, are you trying to burn me?

52
00:02:56,150 --> 00:02:59,750
Benny, I made myself some French toast,
but I have some leftovers here.

53
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,200
Why don't you have it?

54
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:04,760
Why don't you get me some sausage out of
the trash can while you're at it?

55
00:03:05,220 --> 00:03:06,380
Put it on your goat?

56
00:03:09,860 --> 00:03:11,300
I want to punch her in the throat.

57
00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:14,800
Hey, don't start something you can't
finish.

58
00:03:16,980 --> 00:03:20,620
Okay. I just took a bath and a cigarette
butt floated to the top.

59
00:03:20,860 --> 00:03:23,380
Oh, I thought I put that out in the
ashtray.

60
00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:26,880
It's not an ashtray. It's a soap dish.

61
00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:30,780
Mom, why don't you call a plumber to fix
your drain?

62
00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,600
Oh, no, that's too expensive. I got to
save for my retirement.

63
00:03:34,180 --> 00:03:36,000
Unless you want me living in your attic.

64
00:03:37,220 --> 00:03:38,760
I wouldn't do that to the other bats.

65
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:44,640
I don't need a plumber anyway. I met a
guy at Home Depot. He's coming over

66
00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:47,140
tomorrow. Well, if he works there, he
probably knows his stuff.

67
00:03:47,420 --> 00:03:48,420
Oh, he doesn't work there.

68
00:03:49,540 --> 00:03:52,180
He was in the parking lot hanging around
with a bunch of guys.

69
00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:56,080
They were passing around a beer, and
when it got to me, I started talking to

70
00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:57,080
him.

71
00:03:57,560 --> 00:03:58,560
Wait a minute.

72
00:03:58,670 --> 00:04:01,150
You're having a guy you don't know come
over to your house?

73
00:04:01,390 --> 00:04:04,890
Hey, it's not like I didn't ask him for
his ID. He just didn't have any.

74
00:04:06,870 --> 00:04:10,590
Are you crazy, Mom? You live alone. This
guy could kill you. He could rob you.

75
00:04:11,010 --> 00:04:14,170
No way he's coming over to your house.
Oh, you'll never know if he comes over.

76
00:04:14,230 --> 00:04:16,570
So you know what? Sure, he's not coming
over.

77
00:04:19,029 --> 00:04:21,410
All right, I'll take a look at your
drain this afternoon.

78
00:04:21,690 --> 00:04:22,690
Okay, whatever.

79
00:04:22,970 --> 00:04:25,790
Well, I'm off to Pep Boys.

80
00:04:26,550 --> 00:04:27,550
Hello.

81
00:04:28,490 --> 00:04:29,490
Going with my beer.

82
00:04:30,710 --> 00:04:33,230
I'm going to find a guy in the parking
lot to fix my carburetor.

83
00:04:35,630 --> 00:04:38,210
All right, Mom, I'll take a look at your
carburetor, too.

84
00:04:38,830 --> 00:04:42,010
Whatever. Well, I'm off to the parking
lot at the paint store.

85
00:04:43,110 --> 00:04:44,110
Get out.

86
00:04:48,970 --> 00:04:51,130
Ma 'am, Benny, I haven't been in your
house since high school.

87
00:04:55,010 --> 00:04:56,190
Mom, is that lamp still broken?

88
00:04:56,430 --> 00:04:57,430
You know what? It is.

89
00:04:57,800 --> 00:04:58,639
What's wrong with it?

90
00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:00,400
I don't know. I think it's a loose cord.

91
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:01,760
Yeah, I bet I could fix it.

92
00:05:03,860 --> 00:05:04,860
Sorry!

93
00:05:05,660 --> 00:05:10,280
You're funny every time. That wasn't
funny.

94
00:05:13,660 --> 00:05:14,660
What's going on?

95
00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:15,780
They shocked me.

96
00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:31,920
here's the drain?

97
00:05:32,940 --> 00:05:38,000
No, no, I gotta patch the shower curtain
here and I gotta get some new duct tape

98
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,000
for this pile.

99
00:05:41,540 --> 00:05:44,180
But how do you turn on the hot water?
There's no handle.

100
00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:45,880
Hey, I got pliers.

101
00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:51,140
If the pliers are here, how do you
change the channels on the TV?

102
00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:56,300
You know what? I'm not a hillbilly. I
bought another pair of pliers.

103
00:06:02,350 --> 00:06:03,350
falling apart.

104
00:06:03,490 --> 00:06:04,950
Why doesn't she do something?

105
00:06:05,330 --> 00:06:06,330
She's used to it.

106
00:06:07,150 --> 00:06:09,710
Besides, she's older. She's only in here
a couple times a week.

107
00:06:13,710 --> 00:06:16,410
You can't let your mother live like
this.

108
00:06:17,290 --> 00:06:20,430
You should have the bathroom redone for
her. No. No way.

109
00:06:21,170 --> 00:06:26,610
Come on. You could surprise her. Think
about it. Fresh paint and nice tiles.

110
00:06:26,890 --> 00:06:29,790
Oh, and maybe one of those cushiony
toilet seats, huh?

111
00:06:30,790 --> 00:06:32,140
No. Let her hover.

112
00:06:37,420 --> 00:06:42,380
Do you really want that thank you? Do
you really want to see her appreciation?

113
00:06:43,180 --> 00:06:44,180
Well, you know I do.

114
00:06:44,460 --> 00:06:48,460
Well, you've never done anything this
big for her. If you give her a whole new

115
00:06:48,460 --> 00:06:50,660
bathroom, there is no way she can't say
thank you.

116
00:06:51,260 --> 00:06:53,520
It would be nice to hear it one time in
my life.

117
00:06:53,740 --> 00:06:55,200
You deserve it, George.

118
00:06:56,820 --> 00:06:57,820
I do.

119
00:06:57,940 --> 00:06:58,940
And you know what?

120
00:06:59,409 --> 00:07:02,450
I'm going to do all the work myself. I'm
going to make this bathroom so nice.

121
00:07:02,510 --> 00:07:04,350
Every time she uses it, she's going to
think of me.

122
00:07:09,070 --> 00:07:10,730
This is a big job.

123
00:07:10,950 --> 00:07:12,170
Shouldn't you hire professionals?

124
00:07:13,470 --> 00:07:14,890
Professionals? Angie, please.

125
00:07:16,090 --> 00:07:17,090
I got this.

126
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:11,320
Maybe we should use a real plumber's
snake.

127
00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:12,439
What for?

128
00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:15,320
Using a hose is better. I get water
pressure and a snake.

129
00:08:15,580 --> 00:08:17,100
And I can regulate the flow. Look.

130
00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:18,400
Off. On.

131
00:08:20,060 --> 00:08:21,060
Is it working?

132
00:08:21,260 --> 00:08:25,360
Yeah. I already got out enough hair and
cigarettes to make three bennies.

133
00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:28,640
Max! Turn it off!

134
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:31,640
You know, this whole remodel is going to
take longer than you thought.

135
00:08:31,900 --> 00:08:32,940
How are you going to keep your mom away?

136
00:08:33,620 --> 00:08:34,620
I lied.

137
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:41,460
It's a really great thing you're doing
for your mom.

138
00:08:42,140 --> 00:08:45,020
Maybe I should put in that bidet my
mom's been asking about.

139
00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:46,440
What's a bidet?

140
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:49,500
Oh, it's a refreshing water fountain for
your butt.

141
00:08:52,460 --> 00:08:53,460
Cool.

142
00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:58,640
Man, there's something black in the
drain right around the pipe bend.

143
00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:02,000
I think I got a job for the assistant
plumber.

144
00:09:02,700 --> 00:09:03,700
Another bearded?

145
00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:08,040
Oh, a big manly job.

146
00:09:08,330 --> 00:09:10,510
I need you to reach in the drain and
find out what's around the corner.

147
00:09:38,250 --> 00:09:39,250
What is it?

148
00:10:11,340 --> 00:10:12,440
The way she fits in there, perfect.

149
00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:03,400
She wants to make herself a baked
potato.

150
00:11:10,820 --> 00:11:15,560
What do you think?

151
00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:18,540
George, it's beautiful.

152
00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:22,960
She is going to love it. It was harder
than I thought. I almost killed myself.

153
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:28,000
But when she walks in here and sees all
this and finally says thank you, it'll

154
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,000
be worth it.

155
00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:30,280
Are you standing?

156
00:11:32,620 --> 00:11:33,960
I got drywall in my butt cheek.

157
00:11:36,300 --> 00:11:39,180
If I don't take a shower soon, they're
going to be spackled shut forever.

158
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:43,400
Mom, come here.

159
00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:45,480
I want to show you how good the drain
works.

160
00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:47,780
Okay, close your eyes, Mom.

161
00:11:48,340 --> 00:11:49,340
Why?

162
00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:50,640
Just do it.

163
00:11:50,700 --> 00:11:53,680
You know what? The last time somebody
told me to close my eyes, I ended up

164
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:54,680
you.

165
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:27,600
U -chrome fixtures, porcelain sink, low
-flow toilet with whisper flush and

166
00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:28,600
padded feet?

167
00:12:30,180 --> 00:12:31,200
What do you think, Mom?

168
00:12:34,060 --> 00:12:35,780
The hook for the robe is too high.

169
00:12:38,940 --> 00:12:39,940
Excuse me?

170
00:12:39,980 --> 00:12:44,080
Oh, how am I supposed to get up there?
Oh, I forgot that big growth spurt I'm

171
00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:45,140
going to have when I hit 60.

172
00:12:47,950 --> 00:12:52,110
George just redid your entire bathroom
with his own hands, and that's all you

173
00:12:52,110 --> 00:12:52,829
have to say?

174
00:12:52,830 --> 00:12:55,730
Hey, I didn't ask him to do it. I just
needed to have the drain fixed.

175
00:12:57,870 --> 00:12:58,870
It's fixed.

176
00:13:04,110 --> 00:13:05,390
You don't deserve this.

177
00:13:30,770 --> 00:13:31,770
watching.

178
00:13:32,910 --> 00:13:34,330
But he's killing all the civilians.

179
00:13:36,710 --> 00:13:39,810
Will you please talk to me now?

180
00:13:41,890 --> 00:13:45,190
Come on, George. Let that old lady cross
the street and talk to me.

181
00:13:47,390 --> 00:13:48,730
There she goes.

182
00:13:49,230 --> 00:13:50,810
She's almost there.

183
00:13:54,290 --> 00:13:55,290
Okay.

184
00:13:59,110 --> 00:14:00,110
Talk to me.

185
00:14:02,090 --> 00:14:04,710
known she'd do this to me. This whole
thing is your fault.

186
00:14:05,030 --> 00:14:06,009
Oh, come on.

187
00:14:06,010 --> 00:14:08,970
Angie, you can't blame the scorpion for
stinging you. It's in their nature.

188
00:14:10,170 --> 00:14:13,530
But you can blame the person who talked
you into fixing the scorpion's toilet.

189
00:14:14,910 --> 00:14:19,210
Look, I was just trying to help. Angie,
I put three days of work in there. I put

190
00:14:19,210 --> 00:14:22,170
my blood, sweat, and the tip of Ernie's
pinky into that bathroom.

191
00:14:23,350 --> 00:14:24,350
He's okay.

192
00:14:25,590 --> 00:14:30,190
You're right to be angry, George. She is
wrong. You did an amazing job on that

193
00:14:30,190 --> 00:14:31,190
bathroom.

194
00:14:31,310 --> 00:14:34,030
I built an ashtray into the shower.

195
00:14:36,110 --> 00:14:37,110
That's custom.

196
00:14:38,130 --> 00:14:40,970
You don't see that in the catalog. That
came from right here.

197
00:14:42,770 --> 00:14:47,050
Maybe deep down she really is grateful,
but she just can't express it. Why do

198
00:14:47,050 --> 00:14:48,490
you keep making excuses for her?

199
00:14:48,750 --> 00:14:51,270
I'm not. I'm just saying it's probably
hard for her.

200
00:14:51,550 --> 00:14:54,770
Look, saying thank you is acknowledging
that somebody did something for you, and

201
00:14:54,770 --> 00:14:58,170
Betty would never admit that she needed
anybody to do anything for her. It's a

202
00:14:58,170 --> 00:14:59,170
sign of weakness.

203
00:15:00,099 --> 00:15:02,060
Maybe it would help if you opened up to
her.

204
00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:03,920
If I what?

205
00:15:05,580 --> 00:15:08,480
You guys never really talk. You just
bark at each other.

206
00:15:08,980 --> 00:15:12,080
Maybe if you opened up and thanked her
for all the things that she's done for

207
00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:14,480
you, she'd be able to thank you for all
the things that you've done for her.

208
00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:16,540
I don't want to open up.

209
00:15:17,740 --> 00:15:21,220
It'll make you the bigger person. I like
being small. I'm very happy with my

210
00:15:21,220 --> 00:15:22,220
size.

211
00:15:23,300 --> 00:15:25,300
George, you're going to have to deal
with this. What, are you going to never

212
00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:26,300
talk to her again?

213
00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:27,880
No.

214
00:15:28,439 --> 00:15:30,480
Eventually, I'm going to have to say,
it's okay, Mom.

215
00:15:31,140 --> 00:15:32,140
Let go.

216
00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:37,980
Head for the light.

217
00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:43,280
George.

218
00:15:44,260 --> 00:15:45,420
What do I get if I do?

219
00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:48,060
A healthy relationship with your mother.

220
00:15:50,620 --> 00:15:52,920
Once I get that, can I trade it for
something I can use?

221
00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:56,960
Like what? A George Foreman grill.

222
00:15:59,010 --> 00:16:00,310
Sure. One of the big ones.

223
00:16:02,050 --> 00:16:03,810
Yeah, with the bun warmers? Oh, that's
nice.

224
00:16:07,690 --> 00:16:10,770
Why do we have to talk in the bathroom?

225
00:16:11,850 --> 00:16:13,330
Because I want to talk in the bathroom.

226
00:16:13,750 --> 00:16:17,590
If anything happens to me in here,
George, I will haunt you. I swear I

227
00:16:19,110 --> 00:16:22,510
Mom, I just want to talk. We never
really talk. We just bark at each other.

228
00:16:22,730 --> 00:16:24,190
Is Angie behind this?

229
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:31,520
I just think we need to open up to each
other.

230
00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:33,300
That sure smells like Angie.

231
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:36,320
You know why I did all this, Mom?

232
00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:38,500
To get you to say thank you.

233
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:42,420
Then I realized that there are a lot of
things I never thanked you for.

234
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,220
I know how hard it was for you raising
me alone.

235
00:16:46,860 --> 00:16:48,820
And thank you for your sacrifices.

236
00:16:50,420 --> 00:16:53,900
And thank you for being my mom and my
dad.

237
00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:56,780
And thank you for all the things...

238
00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:58,620
I don't even know that you did for me.

239
00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:08,240
Now, is there anything you want to say
to me, Mom?

240
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:10,920
It's about freaking time.

241
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:19,180
I don't think you're getting this, Mom.
You see, I just opened up. I feel good

242
00:17:19,180 --> 00:17:20,180
about it.

243
00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:24,140
Now I want you to open up. All right,
but this is going to be hard for me.

244
00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:30,880
Movies where dogs can talk.

245
00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:41,400
What I'm looking for, Mom, is two little
words.

246
00:17:41,620 --> 00:17:43,740
Three if you say it blank, blank,
George.

247
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:45,800
Or you could say it George, blank,
blank.

248
00:17:46,660 --> 00:17:50,420
I'll make it easier for you. In Spanish,
it's just one word. Adios.

249
00:17:51,660 --> 00:17:52,660
Wait.

250
00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:55,700
Maybe I'm being too vague.

251
00:17:56,580 --> 00:17:58,000
Let's take this nine.

252
00:18:00,590 --> 00:18:02,410
Some people would be thankful for that.

253
00:18:02,890 --> 00:18:04,670
It's just a towel rack.

254
00:18:05,390 --> 00:18:07,510
So you don't care if it's here or not?

255
00:18:09,110 --> 00:18:10,110
My bad.

256
00:18:17,110 --> 00:18:18,490
Let's go to the showerhead.

257
00:18:19,550 --> 00:18:21,170
It's got three speeds.

258
00:18:21,590 --> 00:18:23,930
Steady stream, pulsate, massage.

259
00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:48,720
What are you going to do to that?

260
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:50,840
Why, do you like this? Yeah, I like it.

261
00:18:51,780 --> 00:18:54,280
Well, say the words, Momworth. Coming
up! Thank you.

262
00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:57,960
I didn't hear you.

263
00:18:58,860 --> 00:19:00,960
Thank you for the damn toilet seat
there.

264
00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:02,519
You happy?

265
00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:03,520
Is that what you wanted?

266
00:19:04,380 --> 00:19:05,900
Yes. Was that so hard?

267
00:19:06,340 --> 00:19:09,920
Yeah, it was, because I don't have a lot
of practice doing this, you know.

268
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:15,360
Who do I thank for having to drop out of
school when I was 15 to work in a

269
00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:16,360
factory?

270
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:30,080
Thank God I sure know who to thank for
giving me a cushion toilet.

271
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:12,280
a pretty good son.

272
00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:14,580
Thank you.

273
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:16,700
You give it up way too easy.

274
00:20:17,060 --> 00:20:18,060
Okay.

275
00:20:24,220 --> 00:20:27,740
Angie, the kids are out of the house. My
mom's got her own bathroom and it's

276
00:20:27,740 --> 00:20:28,740
just us.

277
00:20:28,820 --> 00:20:32,940
Or shall I say, it's just you and Ramon
the towel boy.

278
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,920
Sounds like somebody's ready to be
dried.