1 00:00:02,403 --> 00:00:04,003 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: All right, Jane and Michael. 2 00:00:04,005 --> 00:00:04,871 They'd been through a lot, right? 3 00:00:04,872 --> 00:00:05,738 They got married, he was shot, 4 00:00:05,740 --> 00:00:07,056 then recovered. 5 00:00:07,057 --> 00:00:08,373 But things were on the up-and-up, 6 00:00:08,376 --> 00:00:09,375 until... 7 00:00:09,377 --> 00:00:10,743 I didn't pass my physical. 8 00:00:10,745 --> 00:00:12,144 I can't go back to the force. 9 00:00:12,146 --> 00:00:14,013 I can do desk duty. 10 00:00:14,015 --> 00:00:15,547 I know, huge bummer, right? 11 00:00:15,549 --> 00:00:18,117 Also a bummer: Rafael's life. 12 00:00:18,119 --> 00:00:20,486 RAFAEL: My birth certificate. I'm not a Solano. 13 00:00:20,488 --> 00:00:22,805 And speaking of bad news, 14 00:00:22,806 --> 00:00:25,123 Rafael was also hooking up with Jane's cousin, Catalina, 15 00:00:25,126 --> 00:00:27,059 and Jane wasn't too comfortable with that. 16 00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:28,427 JANE: I saw cash and jewels. 17 00:00:28,429 --> 00:00:30,129 I mean, that's suspicious, right? 18 00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:31,397 Not when you've just reentered the States 19 00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:32,498 from Venezuela, where it's recommended 20 00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:34,166 nonresidents carry U.S. dollars. 21 00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:36,435 I am so, so sorry. 22 00:00:36,437 --> 00:00:38,003 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: But maybe Jane was right 23 00:00:38,004 --> 00:00:39,570 to be worried, because check this out. 24 00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:41,173 And there was more bad news. 25 00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:43,259 Petra was being blackmailed 26 00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:45,344 by a certain sleeveless slimeball, namely Scott. 27 00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:47,246 So she struck up a deal with Rafael. 28 00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:48,447 I'll give you your shares back 29 00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:49,581 if you lie about Scott. 30 00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,083 To be clear, 31 00:00:51,084 --> 00:00:52,584 Petra hated Scott, for obvious reasons. 32 00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:54,186 (record scratches) Oh, sorry, 33 00:00:54,188 --> 00:00:55,421 in case you've forgotten those reasons, 34 00:00:55,423 --> 00:00:57,256 a recap within the recap. 35 00:00:57,258 --> 00:00:59,425 Petra was paralyzed by her twin sister, Anezka, 36 00:00:59,427 --> 00:01:01,060 who then took her place. 37 00:01:01,062 --> 00:01:02,528 And then, Anezka fell in love with Scott, 38 00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:03,529 as Petra! 39 00:01:03,531 --> 00:01:05,064 But then Petra woke up 40 00:01:05,066 --> 00:01:06,165 and dumped his ass. 41 00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:08,100 Okay, back to the main recap. 42 00:01:08,102 --> 00:01:10,202 Anyway, that's why Petra hated Scott. 43 00:01:10,204 --> 00:01:13,205 Oh, and Jane's father, Rogelio, had met a matchmaker. 44 00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:15,474 So, it says you want someone fertile? Exactly. 45 00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:16,575 And surprisingly, this happened. 46 00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,110 Rogelio, it's me. 47 00:01:18,112 --> 00:01:19,845 Not to date, just to have a baby with. 48 00:01:19,847 --> 00:01:20,779 Think about it. 49 00:01:20,781 --> 00:01:22,531 I'm having a baby! 50 00:01:22,532 --> 00:01:24,282 And Jane's mom was getting some action, too. 51 00:01:24,285 --> 00:01:26,251 See, she was back with Bruce. 52 00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:29,488 Yes, that Bruce. From way back when. 53 00:01:29,490 --> 00:01:32,858 I had sex with Bruce three days ago. What? 54 00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:35,327 And yep, Jane's still not a fan. 55 00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:36,361 He's a jerk, 56 00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:37,563 who broke your heart over and over, 57 00:01:37,565 --> 00:01:39,231 not to mention he's a liar 58 00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:40,766 who hid the fact that he was married from you. 59 00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:42,167 I knew he was married 60 00:01:42,169 --> 00:01:43,302 when we got together. 61 00:01:43,304 --> 00:01:44,336 Great. 62 00:01:44,338 --> 00:01:45,337 Which, friends, 63 00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:46,839 is where we left off. 64 00:01:48,809 --> 00:01:50,409 A little bit of trivia 65 00:01:50,411 --> 00:01:52,377 about Jane Gloriana Villanueva: 66 00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:54,246 She had seen the movie Beaches 67 00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:55,314 14 times. 68 00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:56,315 Diana... 69 00:01:56,317 --> 00:01:57,883 Once... 70 00:01:57,885 --> 00:01:59,518 every time her mother broke up with Bruce. 71 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,353 Thanks for watching again. 72 00:02:02,256 --> 00:02:03,388 It just helps me, you know? 73 00:02:03,390 --> 00:02:05,357 To cry about something other than him. 74 00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:07,526 I know, Mom. I know. 75 00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:09,394 And that time with her mom, 76 00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:11,196 well, it taught her two things. 77 00:02:11,198 --> 00:02:14,500 She was the wind beneath Xo's wings. 78 00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:16,268 I just thought this time, 79 00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:17,903 it would be different. 80 00:02:17,905 --> 00:02:19,805 And people don't change. 81 00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:22,841 Which brings us here, now. 82 00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:25,210 So, thank you for inviting me over for breakfast. 83 00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:27,546 Thank you for bringing muffins. They were delicious. 84 00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:28,881 You are. 85 00:02:28,883 --> 00:02:30,883 (sighs) 86 00:02:35,923 --> 00:02:36,922 Hey, 87 00:02:36,924 --> 00:02:37,923 Jane. Hey. 88 00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:40,292 Hi, Mom. Bruce. 89 00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:42,294 I'll see you later. 90 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:49,301 Can you at least not make that face? 91 00:02:49,303 --> 00:02:50,536 I'm sorry, it just happens automatically. 92 00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:52,337 Maybe warn me before I'm gonna see him. 93 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,540 I live here, we're dating, you're gonna see him. 94 00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:56,575 Does Abuela know that he was here? 95 00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:59,211 We all had breakfast. He brought muffins. 96 00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:03,916 You ate breakfast with Bruce? 97 00:03:09,190 --> 00:03:11,290 Why? Because he's changed, Jane. 98 00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:12,524 Mom, do you hear yourself? 99 00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,326 I mean, you have literally said that to me 100 00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:15,761 a hundred times before. 101 00:03:15,763 --> 00:03:17,462 I know, but this time it's different. 102 00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:19,264 And that. Enough. 103 00:03:19,266 --> 00:03:20,899 I'm with him. 104 00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:22,935 So it's time for you to get on board. 105 00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:26,438 Fine, I'm on board. 106 00:03:27,308 --> 00:03:29,541 I am! 107 00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,643 See? 108 00:03:36,483 --> 00:03:42,285 ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA www.PSArips.com 109 00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:45,958 ROGELIO: Yes, I want your opinion. 110 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:47,292 (goofy voice): Okay, Rogelio. 111 00:03:47,294 --> 00:03:48,560 Mr. Bee thinks 112 00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:50,862 having a baby with a woman you just met 113 00:03:50,864 --> 00:03:53,999 is craz-z-zy! 114 00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:56,118 (laughs) 115 00:03:56,119 --> 00:03:58,236 Well, Mr. Bee, I respectfully disagree. 116 00:03:58,239 --> 00:04:00,439 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ah, yes. You'll recall, 117 00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:02,507 Rogelio had recently decided to enter into 118 00:04:02,509 --> 00:04:04,943 an unusual business arrangement with this woman. 119 00:04:11,986 --> 00:04:13,518 You see, my striped friend, 120 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:15,954 this is the perfect solution to my "progeneeds." 121 00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:19,791 Well I think you're progenuts! 122 00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:21,293 (laughs) (door opens) 123 00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:22,795 (door closes) 124 00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:24,296 (groans) I cannot believe she is back 125 00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:25,397 together with Bruce. 126 00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:26,999 And now my grandma's brainwashed. 127 00:04:27,001 --> 00:04:28,400 I think we should do something, 128 00:04:28,402 --> 00:04:29,801 like stage an intervention. 129 00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,303 Oh, no. I'm staying out of it. 130 00:04:31,305 --> 00:04:32,304 MICHAEL: Yeah, I'm with Rogelio. 131 00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:33,905 What do you think, Mr. Bee? 132 00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:35,607 You mean Mr. Let It Bee? 133 00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,909 I think Jane shouldn't meddle. 134 00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:40,412 You don't get a medal for meddling. 135 00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:42,414 Nobody likes a meddler! 136 00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:44,916 Don't you have to be at work? I get to go to the body shop first. 137 00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:46,818 $500 bucks for a new bumper. 138 00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,420 Oh, no, seriously? Yeah. 139 00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:50,322 But, it beats sitting around the office. 140 00:04:50,324 --> 00:04:51,823 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ah, yes. 141 00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:53,325 He's on desk duty, you'll recall. 142 00:04:53,327 --> 00:04:55,627 Desk duty sucks. 143 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:56,928 (giggles) 144 00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:58,330 Maybe you should use the time 145 00:04:58,332 --> 00:04:59,631 to start researching other career options. 146 00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:02,868 I'm serious. If you take some kind of action, 147 00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:04,503 I really think you'll feel better. 148 00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:06,405 Mm. (gasps) 149 00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:07,406 I'd help you, Michael. 150 00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:08,507 Aw. 151 00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:09,841 But I can't use a computer, 152 00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:12,778 'cause I don't have any fingers! Whoa! 153 00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:13,779 (laughs) 154 00:05:13,781 --> 00:05:14,980 I'm gonna hide that thing. 155 00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:16,448 All right, 156 00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:18,950 are you ready to see Daddy, Mr. Sweetface? 157 00:05:18,952 --> 00:05:21,053 Yes, you want to see Daddy. 158 00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:25,657 Where is Daddy, Mr. Sweetface? 159 00:05:28,062 --> 00:05:29,961 (phone chimes) 160 00:05:34,435 --> 00:05:35,534 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: In his defense, 161 00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:37,035 he's had a lot on his mind. 162 00:05:41,075 --> 00:05:42,874 What do you think, Mateo? 163 00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:45,010 Should we pop by and see how Auntie Catalina's doing? 164 00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,445 Hmm? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ah, yes. 165 00:05:46,447 --> 00:05:47,546 Catalina. 166 00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:49,481 Oh. 167 00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:50,615 Jane. 168 00:05:53,087 --> 00:05:55,087 (sighs) We had some time to kill, 169 00:05:55,089 --> 00:05:56,488 so we wanted to say hi. 170 00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:57,823 And, 171 00:05:57,825 --> 00:05:58,924 apologize, again. 172 00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:00,425 For snooping through your bag 173 00:06:00,427 --> 00:06:02,828 and thinking that you were hiding something. 174 00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:03,562 Bonjour! 175 00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:05,430 Who are you? 176 00:06:05,432 --> 00:06:07,933 I am Catalina's husband, Arnaud. 177 00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:12,104 (trumpet plays) 178 00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:15,807 You're married? 179 00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:17,809 He's being a little dramatic. 180 00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:18,977 Dramatic? 181 00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:20,445 I am not being dramatic! 182 00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:21,880 We're getting divorced. 183 00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,014 We are not. 184 00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:24,516 CATALINA: Yes, we are! 185 00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:26,118 Now for the last time, go pack. 186 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:28,053 I'm taking you to the airport. 187 00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:34,559 So I should explain. Uh, yeah, that'd be a good idea. 188 00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:36,628 I married Arnaud on a passionate whim 189 00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:38,096 a few months ago. 190 00:06:38,098 --> 00:06:40,132 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: That old guy? Come on, 191 00:06:40,134 --> 00:06:41,400 it had to be about money. 192 00:06:41,402 --> 00:06:42,968 It was wild and romantic, 193 00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:44,569 and not about money. 194 00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:46,037 He actually has a title, but not a penny to his name. 195 00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:47,105 Okay, get to the point. 196 00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:48,523 Right. Everyone told me 197 00:06:48,524 --> 00:06:49,940 not to marry him, but I did it anyway 198 00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:51,176 and, well, it turns out everyone was right. 199 00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:53,078 Why wouldn't you just tell me? 200 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:54,546 Because it was embarrassing. 201 00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:55,480 ARNAUD: I can hear you! 202 00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:56,581 Well then stop listening! 203 00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,083 Anyway, we had just met 204 00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,885 and I didn't want you to think poorly of me. 205 00:06:59,887 --> 00:07:01,787 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yeah, that yacht has sailed. 206 00:07:01,789 --> 00:07:03,422 What about all the cash and jewelry? 207 00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:05,590 Is that really for our poor relatives in Venezuela? 208 00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:07,125 Mostly, yeah. 209 00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:08,927 I mean, a few are gifts from Arnaud, 210 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,429 which I wanted to sell, but he wants back, 211 00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:11,797 so fine, I'll give them back. 212 00:07:11,799 --> 00:07:12,964 Did you hear that? 213 00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:14,082 I'll give them back! 214 00:07:14,083 --> 00:07:15,199 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: It should be noted 215 00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:16,568 that Jane's next thought 216 00:07:16,569 --> 00:07:17,935 was that she needed to tell Rafael! 217 00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,838 Right away. (buzzing) 218 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,207 Remember, Jane, don't meddle! 219 00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:26,111 You need to tell Rafael. Right away. 220 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,613 Just tell me. 221 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,949 (sighs) 222 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:34,553 The DNA results came in and it's confirmed. 223 00:07:34,555 --> 00:07:37,589 You are not Emilio and Elena's biological son. 224 00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:43,862 Wow. 225 00:07:43,864 --> 00:07:45,063 (scoffs) 226 00:07:46,467 --> 00:07:48,900 Somehow it didn't seem real until now. 227 00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:50,001 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: What does this mean? 228 00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:51,603 Is he still Emilio's heir? 229 00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:53,171 Does he still own the Marbella? 230 00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:55,974 God, I wonder if my dad knew. 231 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:57,909 And that's why he always treated me differently. 232 00:07:57,911 --> 00:07:59,478 Right. That, too. 233 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:00,879 I'm sorry. 234 00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:02,547 And just so you know, 235 00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:03,982 you're under no legal obligation 236 00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,851 to disclose that information to anybody. 237 00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:08,153 Sorry to interrupt, but Rafael, 238 00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:10,121 we're actually waiting on you in the interrogation room. 239 00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:11,923 Oh, that's where everyone is. Okay, let's head over. 240 00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:14,259 Uh, sorry, man. 241 00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:15,927 Because of the desk duty, you know. 242 00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:17,896 Chief says you can't be in on this anymore. 243 00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:19,865 I get it. 244 00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:22,567 I'm really... It's okay. 245 00:08:27,574 --> 00:08:29,174 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Wow. Tough day. 246 00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:30,876 PETRA: What are you up to?! 247 00:08:30,878 --> 00:08:32,210 And it just got worse. 248 00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:33,912 You and Scott. 249 00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:35,080 Are you-- are you working together? 250 00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:37,015 Manipulating me? 251 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,517 I'll remind you, they were. 252 00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:40,886 I told you it would work. And you will be 253 00:08:40,888 --> 00:08:42,020 getting that bonus as discussed. 254 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,505 Of course not. 255 00:08:43,506 --> 00:08:44,989 He bought a new car. Where'd he get that money? 256 00:08:44,992 --> 00:08:46,925 I saw you two talking! 257 00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:48,059 And friends, 258 00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:49,127 can you really blame Rafael 259 00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:50,595 for what he said next? 260 00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:52,197 Petra. 261 00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:53,932 I think you're being a little paranoid. 262 00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:55,934 Which makes sense, 263 00:08:55,936 --> 00:08:57,135 considering what you just went through. 264 00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,272 (laughs) 265 00:09:04,111 --> 00:09:06,011 Well, I can. 266 00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:07,463 That was a low blow. 267 00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:08,914 JANE: You're never gonna believe this! 268 00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:11,116 I was dropping Mateo off and so we stopped by 269 00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:13,985 to visit Catalina and turns out, she's married. 270 00:09:15,122 --> 00:09:17,022 What's wrong? 271 00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:19,224 Did things go badly with Rafael, because... 272 00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:22,027 No, no, no. It's, uh... 273 00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:24,996 it's not Rafael. I, um... 274 00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:29,034 I sort of-- I quit my job today. 275 00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:31,303 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Well, she wanted him to take an action. 276 00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:39,244 I'm sorry for not talking to you about it first. 277 00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:41,846 It just... 278 00:09:41,848 --> 00:09:43,982 I'm not even allowed to be involved on cases 279 00:09:43,984 --> 00:09:45,250 I've staked my entire career on. 280 00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:46,851 And then some rookie 281 00:09:46,853 --> 00:09:48,119 gave me a 20-minute lecture 282 00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:50,055 on the proper way to fill out evidence log forms 283 00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:51,856 and I don't know, I-I quit. 284 00:09:51,858 --> 00:09:53,058 And then I panicked, 'cause I knew 285 00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:54,159 I should have talked to you first. 286 00:09:54,161 --> 00:09:56,861 No. I get it. 287 00:09:56,863 --> 00:09:57,862 You do? 288 00:09:57,864 --> 00:09:59,264 Yes, of course. 289 00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:01,967 Oh, I don't want you to be miserable. 290 00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:04,069 (sighs) 291 00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:07,906 Armstrong gave me a six-month severance package, 292 00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:10,642 so, it gives me some time to figure out my next move. 293 00:10:10,644 --> 00:10:12,310 Okay, six months is good. 294 00:10:13,347 --> 00:10:15,146 I think it was the right move. 295 00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:19,184 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Aw. 296 00:10:19,186 --> 00:10:21,886 She doesn't even look nervous. 297 00:10:21,888 --> 00:10:24,089 Oh. Now she does. 298 00:10:24,091 --> 00:10:26,992 Those must be "I'm sorry I was judgy about Bruce, 299 00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:29,294 but Michael quit his job" coffees. 300 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,630 Eh, you should see how they butcher my name. 301 00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:32,931 Uh-oh. 302 00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:34,366 Maybe Jean and Zoe 303 00:10:34,368 --> 00:10:36,167 have something else to discuss. 304 00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:38,703 (sighs) 305 00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:46,645 What happened? 306 00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:48,380 Nothing. I'm fine. 307 00:10:48,382 --> 00:10:50,181 Ma... I don't want to discuss it with you. 308 00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:51,750 You can't be objective when it comes to Bruce. 309 00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:55,987 Okay. I get it. 310 00:10:58,058 --> 00:11:00,125 (footsteps departing) 311 00:11:01,662 --> 00:11:02,961 Is she okay? 312 00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:05,296 (buzzing) 313 00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:08,867 Remember, Jane. You don't get a medal for meddling. 314 00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:11,102 Yeah. She's great. Thanks, Bruce. 315 00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:14,406 Jane, please. Why won't you just leave her alone? 316 00:11:14,408 --> 00:11:15,440 (gasps) 317 00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:17,108 Because I care about her. 318 00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:19,878 Oh, yeah? Is that why she's in there, crying? 319 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:22,213 Again? Just like she did for three years straight. 320 00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:24,449 And do you know who had to stand by her and pick up 321 00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:25,884 the pieces every time? 322 00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:27,218 Me. 323 00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,220 So I'm sorry. 324 00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:31,089 I-I just... I can't be on board. 325 00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:34,325 ROGELIO: I told you, it wouldn't be contentious. 326 00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:37,028 Yes, great, you were right, and I was wrong. 327 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,430 Let's finish up. Schooling. 328 00:11:38,432 --> 00:11:39,998 Private or public? 329 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,466 Private. Private. And nannies? 330 00:11:41,468 --> 00:11:43,435 The more the merrier. 331 00:11:43,437 --> 00:11:45,003 Vacations? Summers in Tulum. 332 00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:46,905 Winters in Aspen. 333 00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:47,906 How about media appearances? 334 00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:49,441 Vanity Fair at three months, 335 00:11:49,443 --> 00:11:51,109 People en Español at six months, 336 00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:53,445 and Us Wee cover shoot at a year. 337 00:11:53,447 --> 00:11:55,480 Have you settled on a last name? 338 00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:57,449 Hmm. (gasps) 339 00:11:57,451 --> 00:11:59,918 De La Vega Factor? 340 00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:01,920 DARCI: The De La Vega Factor. 341 00:12:01,922 --> 00:12:03,388 I like it. 342 00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:06,391 Very good. Just, uh, one final matter. 343 00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:09,928 Procedure. Will you be having sex or using insemination? 344 00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:10,962 Insemination. 345 00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:12,130 I'm worried Darci will fall 346 00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:13,465 for me if we make love. 347 00:12:13,467 --> 00:12:15,100 And it's important for us both 348 00:12:15,102 --> 00:12:16,334 not to have feelings for each other, 349 00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:17,502 to make this work. 350 00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:19,104 I totally agree. 351 00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:20,271 Plus, I froze my eggs years ago. 352 00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:21,973 I want to use the youngest ones. 353 00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,374 Isn't she the best? 354 00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:26,044 Relentlessly practical. 355 00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:27,378 (chuckles) Okay, great. 356 00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:29,280 I will have copies of the agreement 357 00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:31,316 for you both to sign in the next couple of days. 358 00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:34,252 ROGELIO: It's happening, people. 359 00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,487 The negotiations are done. 360 00:12:35,489 --> 00:12:37,222 All we have to do is sign the contracts, 361 00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:41,059 and in nine months, out comes Rogelio Jr., 362 00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:44,229 or Rogeliana. 363 00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:49,901 Well, no, that's the only thing she hasn't agreed to. 364 00:12:49,903 --> 00:12:52,170 Yet. (laughs) 365 00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:53,905 What is it? 366 00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:54,973 I-I just can't believe you're actually 367 00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:56,241 going through with this. 368 00:12:56,243 --> 00:12:57,308 What do you mean? I've been talking 369 00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:58,810 about it for weeks. 370 00:12:58,811 --> 00:13:00,311 Yeah, well, you always have crazy ideas 371 00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:02,180 but you never actually follow through. 372 00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:03,982 What are you talking about? 373 00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:05,383 We need to bond as a family. 374 00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:07,986 One year. A trip around the world! 375 00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:11,122 I am all about Kaballah. 376 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:14,292 Here, I got you all red strings. 377 00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,027 From now on, 378 00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:17,462 you can call me Yahweh. 379 00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:21,399 I'm thinking of growing a man bun. 380 00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:24,202 It's a terrible idea. 381 00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:26,204 The man bun? Because I'm still debating. 382 00:13:26,206 --> 00:13:28,339 No! The baby. You hardly know her. 383 00:13:28,341 --> 00:13:31,042 We agreed on absolutely everything about child rearing. 384 00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:33,278 Plus, you know how much I want another child. 385 00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:40,051 Mm. 386 00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:42,220 I would very much like to introduce you. 387 00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:43,988 Trust me, to know her 388 00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:46,491 is to love her in a totally non-emotional, 389 00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:48,226 nonsexual way. 390 00:13:48,228 --> 00:13:50,428 RAFAEL: I don't understand. 391 00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:53,097 Why wouldn't you just tell me? I'm divorced. 392 00:13:53,099 --> 00:13:54,999 I mean, we've talked about my divorce. 393 00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,434 I know. And I can't really explain it, 394 00:13:56,436 --> 00:13:58,536 except that I'd made such a huge mistake, 395 00:13:58,538 --> 00:14:01,239 and it felt so good not to think about it 396 00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:04,375 or talk about it. Finally. 397 00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:06,377 Plus, I have a habit of running from problems 398 00:14:06,379 --> 00:14:08,213 rather than dealing with them. 399 00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:13,284 Well. I can relate to that. 400 00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:15,153 Darling, 401 00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:18,389 I wasn't looking for anything when I met you. 402 00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:22,060 This... this just happened. 403 00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:23,995 And is it over? 404 00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:25,396 With the old guy? 405 00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:27,532 Oh, don't call him that. I googled him. He's old. 406 00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,534 I said it was a mistake. Is it over? 407 00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:32,971 Absolutely. Ask Jane. She heard me tell him to pack up and go. 408 00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:34,472 Jane met him? 409 00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:36,941 JANE: I'm sorry. I wasn't sure what to do. 410 00:14:36,943 --> 00:14:38,142 I told her to tell you. 411 00:14:38,144 --> 00:14:39,544 You should have told me. 412 00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:42,080 (sighs) Yeah. You're right. 413 00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:44,249 How'd you leave things? 414 00:14:44,251 --> 00:14:46,351 Well, she swears it's over with the old guy. 415 00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:49,420 What do you think? You trust her? 416 00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:52,390 I'm not sure. 417 00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,325 Yeah. Me neither. 418 00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:56,561 Look, if anything else happens... 419 00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:58,196 Absolutely. Anything I know, you know. 420 00:14:58,198 --> 00:15:00,064 ANEZKA: What would you like to know? 421 00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:04,168 Anything at all? 422 00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:06,170 Answers from the beyond, 423 00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:08,506 available here, today. 424 00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:11,209 Beautiful sister, 425 00:15:11,211 --> 00:15:12,477 what are you doing here? 426 00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:14,279 Trust me, it was a last resort. 427 00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:16,114 It's so good to see you. 428 00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:17,315 Oh, one of the pimps at my motel 429 00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:19,050 was going to let me use his cell phone 430 00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:21,219 to call you but then he got knifed in the stairwell 431 00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:23,221 and had to go to hospital so it didn't work out. 432 00:15:23,223 --> 00:15:24,956 Look, I'm only here because I need to know. 433 00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:26,457 Has Scott reached out to you at all? 434 00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:28,459 No. Why? Has he asked about me? 435 00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:31,062 No! I just don't know if he's up to something. 436 00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:33,131 He has money, suddenly. That's what I need to know. 437 00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:34,933 I need to know where is it coming from. 438 00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:36,034 Beautiful sister, 439 00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:37,969 are you okay? 440 00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:41,205 No. No, I-I am not okay. 441 00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:45,243 You paralyzed me. And now I'm paranoid, 442 00:15:45,245 --> 00:15:47,578 and I can't trust anyone, not even myself. 443 00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:51,482 I need you to leave. 444 00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:54,419 Yeah. That's... That's part of the problem. 445 00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:56,321 No! This is my booth. 446 00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:58,990 I had to fight man who sells dreamcatchers for it. 447 00:15:58,992 --> 00:16:00,491 No. I meant the United States. 448 00:16:01,328 --> 00:16:03,011 I'll get you a ticket. 449 00:16:03,012 --> 00:16:04,695 You're going back to the Czech Republic. No. But... 450 00:16:04,698 --> 00:16:06,230 It's either that or you're going to jail. 451 00:16:06,232 --> 00:16:07,999 MICHAEL: I mean, it's highway robbery. 452 00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:09,334 So I went to the car dealership 453 00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:11,035 to see about leasing a new car, 454 00:16:11,037 --> 00:16:13,004 (snaps fingers) and suddenly, it hit me. 455 00:16:13,006 --> 00:16:14,372 JANE: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. 456 00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:16,240 You want to be a car salesman? 457 00:16:16,242 --> 00:16:18,443 Come on down to Seven Star Auto Dealer, 458 00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:22,747 where our prices are insane! 459 00:16:22,749 --> 00:16:26,017 Um... Do you really think you'd like it? 460 00:16:26,019 --> 00:16:27,752 Well, I mean, uh, enough. 461 00:16:27,754 --> 00:16:29,354 It's a job. Steady pay. 462 00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:32,457 Yeah. Y-You're just not really a car guy. 463 00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:34,359 I'm a car guy. 464 00:16:34,361 --> 00:16:35,360 What's your favorite car? 465 00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:37,161 Uh... the... the DeLorean. 466 00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:39,130 Okay, I'm not a car guy. 467 00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:42,367 But I might become a car guy. Just don't rush into anything. 468 00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:44,469 I want you to do something you're passionate about. 469 00:16:44,471 --> 00:16:47,372 Yeah, well, having sex with you doesn't pay that well. 470 00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:49,374 (laughs) Just promise me 471 00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:50,742 you'll wait a beat before interviewing 472 00:16:50,744 --> 00:16:52,143 at the car dealership. Maybe try 473 00:16:52,145 --> 00:16:54,278 the aptitude test I gave you. 474 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:55,747 (knocking on door) There's someone at the door. 475 00:16:55,749 --> 00:16:57,148 Okay, I'll be home soon. 476 00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:59,150 Love you. Bye. 477 00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:01,152 (knocking continues) 478 00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:03,454 I can't believe that you yelled at Bruce. 479 00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:05,490 What were you thinking? 480 00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:09,160 Mom. You're already fighting, he's already making you cry. 481 00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:11,262 We weren't fighting. We were talking 482 00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:13,731 about his teenage daughter, Tess, who hates me. 483 00:17:13,733 --> 00:17:15,266 He said we'd just keep working on it, 484 00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:18,136 and I just felt sad. Oh. 485 00:17:18,138 --> 00:17:20,104 Yeah. And he thought that she'd get past it eventually-- 486 00:17:20,106 --> 00:17:22,040 she's only 16, right? 487 00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:24,809 But now, after talking to you, he's not so sure she will. 488 00:17:24,811 --> 00:17:26,144 Mom. I'm so sorry. 489 00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:28,479 (buzzing) Mm-mm-mm. 490 00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:30,281 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: If he won't say it, I will. 491 00:17:30,283 --> 00:17:31,549 Nobody likes a meddler. 492 00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:39,824 Hey, did you pick up the rum cake my mom likes 493 00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:41,326 for dinner tonight? Yes. 494 00:17:41,327 --> 00:17:42,827 I even had the baker write, "Sorry I messed things up 495 00:17:42,829 --> 00:17:45,329 with Bruce" in vanilla frosting. (laughs) 496 00:17:45,331 --> 00:17:46,330 Just kidding. 497 00:17:46,332 --> 00:17:47,432 It's in the fridge. 498 00:17:47,434 --> 00:17:49,200 Thank you. 499 00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:52,070 And career aptitude test complete and the results are in. 500 00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:53,371 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Drumroll, please. 501 00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:54,839 Okay. 502 00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:57,275 So it says here I should be... 503 00:17:57,277 --> 00:17:59,744 A detective. Okay. 504 00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,846 So that was a big ol' waste of time. 505 00:18:01,848 --> 00:18:03,748 Hey, at least we know that it works. 506 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:05,249 (sighs) Stop, look. 507 00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,852 They give more than one career option. 508 00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:10,254 Plus, it says that you're analytic, 509 00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:13,858 fair-minded, result-oriented, and incredibly sexy. 510 00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:15,760 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I didn't see "incredibly sexy" on that list. 511 00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:19,497 Let's see. A P.I., security consult... Ooh! 512 00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:21,532 An FBI analyst. Oh, forget it. 513 00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:24,235 All these jobs are just me sitting at a desk, wishing 514 00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:26,104 I was in the field, doing the real investigative work. 515 00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:28,372 I... I might as well be a car salesman. 516 00:18:28,374 --> 00:18:30,274 As long as it's something that you're excited about. 517 00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:31,476 I want you to be happy. 518 00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:33,377 You know what would make me happy? Hmm? 519 00:18:33,379 --> 00:18:35,179 Not going to this dinner with your mom and Bruce. 520 00:18:35,181 --> 00:18:37,515 Can I just make a case as to why I shouldn't go? 521 00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:38,783 I'm listening. 522 00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,384 I don't know Bruce. Okay? 523 00:18:40,386 --> 00:18:41,886 I've never met Bruce. 524 00:18:41,888 --> 00:18:43,554 And I'd just be in the way, taking up 525 00:18:43,556 --> 00:18:46,824 precious Bruce-Jane bonding time. Okay? 526 00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:49,460 Plus, I really need to go to the station, 527 00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:52,463 pack up my stuff in the office, say good-bye to the guys. 528 00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:56,534 And I'm making the super cute, "Don't make me go 529 00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:58,202 "to the dinner with your mom's boyfriend 530 00:18:58,204 --> 00:19:00,204 who you yelled at" face. 531 00:19:01,407 --> 00:19:03,841 Ugh, fine. Of course. 532 00:19:05,411 --> 00:19:08,279 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Which brings us here, now... 533 00:19:08,281 --> 00:19:09,347 Uh, some wine? 534 00:19:09,349 --> 00:19:11,282 Is this safe to drink? 535 00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:12,283 Oh, yeah, I didn't... 536 00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:14,318 He was just making a joke. 537 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:17,221 Right. (laughs weakly) 538 00:19:17,223 --> 00:19:19,924 Look, I know the idea of me dating 539 00:19:19,926 --> 00:19:21,893 your mom again is a tough pill to swallow. 540 00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:24,262 Yeah, well, there's history there. 541 00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:27,165 Right. Yeah. For my daughter, too. 542 00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:29,834 Did she... know, 543 00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:33,271 while you guys were... having the affair? 544 00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:36,507 Yeah. 545 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,576 I went over there, once. 546 00:19:38,578 --> 00:19:40,344 Bruce! 547 00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:42,180 (kicks door) Bruce! 548 00:19:42,182 --> 00:19:43,548 Come out here! 549 00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:46,517 We both made bad choices. 550 00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:48,753 When your mom finally walked away, 551 00:19:48,755 --> 00:19:51,022 it was my wakeup call. 552 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,290 I was so unhappy, I was making everybody else unhappy. 553 00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:54,892 So I made a change. 554 00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:56,227 And it was hard. 555 00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:57,762 Every step of the way. 556 00:19:57,764 --> 00:19:59,197 How about your ex-wife? 557 00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:00,298 We're good now. 558 00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:03,201 Finally. 559 00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:05,536 But my daughter's having a hard time, 560 00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:08,239 now that I'm with Xo. 561 00:20:08,241 --> 00:20:10,508 And I would never put her through this 562 00:20:10,510 --> 00:20:13,477 if I didn't think that your mom-- and what we have-- 563 00:20:13,479 --> 00:20:14,679 is worth it. 564 00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:21,886 Just give your daughter some time. 565 00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:23,854 I bet she'll come around. 566 00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:26,324 (exhales) 567 00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:39,337 So, thank you for giving Bruce another chance. 568 00:20:39,339 --> 00:20:41,405 Well, he seems to really care about you. 569 00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:43,274 Right? 570 00:20:43,276 --> 00:20:45,476 So, can we put another dinner on the books? 571 00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:46,644 Maybe a double date? 572 00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:47,912 Yeah, sure. 573 00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:49,347 When? 574 00:20:49,349 --> 00:20:50,514 I don't know, just give me a minute. 575 00:20:50,516 --> 00:20:52,316 What's wrong? 576 00:20:53,553 --> 00:20:55,920 Nothing, I'm tired, I got to get Mateo. 577 00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:58,422 Jane. 578 00:20:58,424 --> 00:21:01,292 Look, I always saw Bruce as the guy who wreaked havoc 579 00:21:01,294 --> 00:21:04,528 on our family, but now you're that person to them. 580 00:21:04,530 --> 00:21:05,997 And... I don't know, 581 00:21:05,999 --> 00:21:07,865 I-I don't like thinking about you like that. 582 00:21:09,535 --> 00:21:11,502 I'm sorry, you asked me what was wrong. 583 00:21:11,504 --> 00:21:14,472 No, it's okay, I get it. 584 00:21:17,310 --> 00:21:18,809 Hey, Michael, I'm done with dinner. 585 00:21:18,811 --> 00:21:21,012 I'm picking up Mateo and I'll be home soon. 586 00:21:21,014 --> 00:21:22,880 (laughs) 587 00:21:24,884 --> 00:21:26,017 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Sacre bleu! 588 00:21:26,019 --> 00:21:28,986 Sorry, I mean, oh, my gosh. 589 00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:32,023 (sighs) 590 00:21:32,025 --> 00:21:35,426 So, of course I told Rafael. 591 00:21:35,428 --> 00:21:39,563 He said he was gonna end it, but I mean, can you believe her? 592 00:21:39,565 --> 00:21:41,432 What? Why are you smiling? None of this is funny. 593 00:21:41,434 --> 00:21:43,334 I'm sorry, I just actually had a breakthrough, 594 00:21:43,336 --> 00:21:44,535 something I'd love to try. 595 00:21:44,537 --> 00:21:45,903 Okay? I don't know if it's a career, 596 00:21:45,905 --> 00:21:47,438 but I'm excited. 597 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:48,839 Oh, my God, what is it? Tell me. 598 00:21:48,841 --> 00:21:50,941 Okay, well, I went down to the station, um, 599 00:21:50,943 --> 00:21:52,443 and Dennis and the guys, they threw me 600 00:21:52,445 --> 00:21:54,045 a little surprise going-away party, 601 00:21:54,047 --> 00:21:56,847 and I made a speech, and I was cracking everybody up. 602 00:21:56,849 --> 00:21:58,582 I mean, seriously cracking them up. 603 00:21:58,584 --> 00:21:59,917 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And... 604 00:21:59,919 --> 00:22:01,052 And it made me realize something. 605 00:22:01,054 --> 00:22:02,320 Maybe I should try 606 00:22:02,322 --> 00:22:04,989 my hand at stand-up comedy. 607 00:22:04,991 --> 00:22:07,058 (laughs) 608 00:22:07,060 --> 00:22:09,860 He's not joking, Jane. 609 00:22:09,862 --> 00:22:11,429 Well, that sounds great. 610 00:22:18,338 --> 00:22:19,537 XIOMARA: A comedian? 611 00:22:19,539 --> 00:22:20,905 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: No, Alba. 612 00:22:20,907 --> 00:22:22,340 Not like Jerry Seinfeld. 613 00:22:22,342 --> 00:22:25,576 I mean, kind of, but kind of... not? 614 00:22:25,578 --> 00:22:28,446 Has he been telling you his jokes? Oh, yeah. Nonstop. 615 00:22:28,448 --> 00:22:30,581 Okay, check this out. This is something I've been working on. 616 00:22:30,583 --> 00:22:33,451 Inspired by... (imitates actor): Jim Carrey. 617 00:22:33,453 --> 00:22:34,919 And then for the next 11 minutes 618 00:22:34,921 --> 00:22:36,020 he talked out of his butt. 619 00:22:36,022 --> 00:22:37,621 Oh. 620 00:22:39,559 --> 00:22:41,459 Yeah, not the Jim Carrey bit. 621 00:22:41,461 --> 00:22:43,027 I agree, Michael is hilarious, 622 00:22:43,029 --> 00:22:44,462 but do you know what the odds are 623 00:22:44,464 --> 00:22:46,030 of becoming a successful comedian? 624 00:22:46,032 --> 00:22:47,598 Well, you're an aspiring novelist. 625 00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:49,834 That's not exactly a straightforward career path. 626 00:22:49,836 --> 00:22:52,036 I know, I agree, and I'm trying to support him. 627 00:22:52,038 --> 00:22:54,972 And you guys will have a chance, too. 628 00:22:54,974 --> 00:22:57,608 He signed up to perform at a comedy club tonight. 629 00:22:57,610 --> 00:22:58,576 Oh, wow. 630 00:22:58,578 --> 00:23:00,578 Oh, wow. 631 00:23:00,580 --> 00:23:02,813 Should I get him to postpone? Practice more? 632 00:23:02,815 --> 00:23:04,081 I just don't want him to fall on his face 633 00:23:04,083 --> 00:23:05,583 after all he's been through lately. 634 00:23:05,585 --> 00:23:06,984 If he fails, he fails. 635 00:23:06,986 --> 00:23:08,586 He's a big boy, he can handle it. 636 00:23:08,588 --> 00:23:09,854 (buzzing) 637 00:23:09,856 --> 00:23:11,078 I'm with her. 638 00:23:11,079 --> 00:23:12,301 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I was, too... 639 00:23:12,302 --> 00:23:13,524 along with the rest of the popular vote. 640 00:23:13,526 --> 00:23:15,393 Bee supportive. 641 00:23:15,395 --> 00:23:17,561 No meddling, missy. (laughs) 642 00:23:18,831 --> 00:23:20,831 Which brings us here. Now. 643 00:23:20,833 --> 00:23:23,434 Oh, my God. Every time I hear it, it just gets funnier. 644 00:23:23,436 --> 00:23:25,536 Really? Definitely. 645 00:23:25,538 --> 00:23:27,104 Okay, let's go over my Godfather as Batman bit again. 646 00:23:27,106 --> 00:23:28,172 Go for it. 647 00:23:28,174 --> 00:23:30,441 (imitating Vito Corleone): Hey... 648 00:23:30,443 --> 00:23:33,077 I'm Batman, and we're family, okay? 649 00:23:33,079 --> 00:23:35,413 So, what do you think you're doing? 650 00:23:35,415 --> 00:23:37,047 You robbing that bank? 651 00:23:37,049 --> 00:23:39,984 You can't rob from family. 652 00:23:39,986 --> 00:23:42,019 (laughs) (chuckles) 653 00:23:42,021 --> 00:23:45,523 Wow. Methinks thou dost crack up too much. 654 00:23:45,525 --> 00:23:47,091 You are killing me. (cell phone ringing) 655 00:23:47,093 --> 00:23:49,560 Yes! Oh, hold on, it's Catalina. 656 00:23:49,562 --> 00:23:51,462 Hello? 657 00:23:51,464 --> 00:23:52,963 Rafael just ended our relationship 658 00:23:52,965 --> 00:23:54,165 because you told him you saw me kissing Arnaud. 659 00:23:54,167 --> 00:23:56,967 You got in the car. You kissed him. 660 00:23:56,969 --> 00:23:58,436 A friendly kiss. 661 00:23:58,438 --> 00:23:59,904 I don't kiss my friends like that. 662 00:23:59,906 --> 00:24:02,206 Well, I do, and you should have called me, 663 00:24:02,208 --> 00:24:04,008 and not run to Rafael. 664 00:24:04,010 --> 00:24:05,509 I don't want him to get hurt. 665 00:24:05,511 --> 00:24:06,510 And what about me? 666 00:24:06,512 --> 00:24:07,978 I've known you for a month 667 00:24:07,980 --> 00:24:09,013 and you've lied the whole time. 668 00:24:09,015 --> 00:24:10,214 He's my child's father. 669 00:24:10,216 --> 00:24:12,049 Well, I guess I know 670 00:24:12,051 --> 00:24:13,551 where your loyalties lie. 671 00:24:13,553 --> 00:24:14,952 Yes, you do. 672 00:24:14,954 --> 00:24:17,521 (cell phone beeps) Oh. 673 00:24:17,523 --> 00:24:20,491 Okay, who's in the mood for a comedy show? 674 00:24:23,996 --> 00:24:26,564 Totally calm and I totally feel like I'm gonna throw up. 675 00:24:26,566 --> 00:24:28,466 (chuckles) 676 00:24:28,468 --> 00:24:29,900 So, is Bruce coming? 677 00:24:29,902 --> 00:24:32,136 No. He has his daughter, 678 00:24:32,138 --> 00:24:33,938 but thanks for inviting him. 679 00:24:35,575 --> 00:24:37,908 You know, I was thinking about what you said, 680 00:24:37,910 --> 00:24:41,545 about not wanting to see me that way... and I get it. 681 00:24:42,582 --> 00:24:45,649 But... I've changed... 682 00:24:45,651 --> 00:24:48,118 and maybe that's why I think he can, too. 683 00:24:52,492 --> 00:24:54,058 Okay, so Darci will be here any minute. 684 00:24:55,495 --> 00:24:57,595 You said you'd try. I am trying. 685 00:24:57,597 --> 00:24:58,896 We are scientifically and mathematically 686 00:24:58,898 --> 00:24:59,897 compatible to breed. 687 00:24:59,899 --> 00:25:01,799 I will show you the algorithm. 688 00:25:01,801 --> 00:25:04,134 Oh, please, you don't even know what an algorithm is. 689 00:25:04,136 --> 00:25:05,603 (mocking): I do, too. 690 00:25:05,605 --> 00:25:07,838 No, you don't. Yes, I... shh! Darci. 691 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:10,107 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ooh, this calls for another drumroll. 692 00:25:10,109 --> 00:25:11,876 (drumroll plays) 693 00:25:11,878 --> 00:25:13,110 Can I get you a drink? 694 00:25:13,112 --> 00:25:15,513 Vodka soda. Iced tea for me. 695 00:25:15,515 --> 00:25:17,915 Oh, that's right. You're about to get pregnant. 696 00:25:17,917 --> 00:25:20,050 Got to keep that body nice and pure. 697 00:25:20,052 --> 00:25:22,052 You've certainly thought of everything. 698 00:25:22,054 --> 00:25:23,921 It's because I'm driving. 699 00:25:23,923 --> 00:25:25,055 Oh. 700 00:25:25,057 --> 00:25:26,257 Look, I'm a straight shooter, 701 00:25:26,259 --> 00:25:27,525 so I'm just gonna say this. 702 00:25:27,527 --> 00:25:29,126 I'm sensing a little tension here. 703 00:25:29,128 --> 00:25:30,628 You think? 704 00:25:30,630 --> 00:25:32,129 I tried to tell her about the algorithm. 705 00:25:32,131 --> 00:25:33,564 I take it you're not on board 706 00:25:33,566 --> 00:25:35,032 with our plan to coparent. 707 00:25:35,034 --> 00:25:36,667 You've only known each other for two weeks. 708 00:25:36,669 --> 00:25:38,068 We've thought everything through, 709 00:25:38,070 --> 00:25:40,104 negotiated the terms of our agreement, 710 00:25:40,106 --> 00:25:41,205 and we took my very comprehensive 711 00:25:41,207 --> 00:25:44,642 compatibility Love Forecast. 712 00:25:44,644 --> 00:25:46,844 It takes a lot more than a compatibility test 713 00:25:46,846 --> 00:25:48,579 to make this kind of commitment, 714 00:25:48,581 --> 00:25:51,248 otherwise, everyone matched on eHarmony would be married. 715 00:25:51,250 --> 00:25:54,218 My Love Forecast is better than eHarmony's... 716 00:25:55,054 --> 00:25:57,254 ...if you're honest. 717 00:25:57,256 --> 00:25:59,056 Question 42 of our compatibility test is, 718 00:25:59,058 --> 00:26:00,624 "Do you have a supportive family?" 719 00:26:00,626 --> 00:26:01,625 You checked yes, 720 00:26:01,627 --> 00:26:03,928 and clearly, you don't. 721 00:26:03,930 --> 00:26:05,629 I'm gonna go freshen up. 722 00:26:15,041 --> 00:26:17,241 (sighs) What? 723 00:26:17,243 --> 00:26:20,110 Ma, come on. You know this is crazy. 724 00:26:36,996 --> 00:26:38,162 SCOTT: Let me fix this. 725 00:26:38,164 --> 00:26:40,064 There must be something I can do. 726 00:26:40,066 --> 00:26:41,899 No, beautiful sister is certain. 727 00:26:41,901 --> 00:26:43,334 I must go back to Czech Republic. 728 00:26:43,336 --> 00:26:45,336 I just wanted to say good-bye. 729 00:26:45,338 --> 00:26:46,904 I missed you. 730 00:26:46,906 --> 00:26:48,172 Oh, I'm sorry, 731 00:26:48,174 --> 00:26:50,641 it's not the golden locks you fell for. 732 00:26:50,643 --> 00:26:54,011 Oh, no. I... It was you who I fell in love with, Anezka. 733 00:26:54,013 --> 00:26:56,614 Please, stay. We can be together. 734 00:26:56,616 --> 00:26:59,183 Without Petra's money, I have no place to live. 735 00:26:59,185 --> 00:27:00,284 No, I have money. 736 00:27:00,286 --> 00:27:02,086 Rafael and I made an arrangement. 737 00:27:02,088 --> 00:27:03,988 I can take care of you, hide you. 738 00:27:05,024 --> 00:27:06,256 No, she'll find me. 739 00:27:06,258 --> 00:27:08,025 She'll put me in jail. 740 00:27:08,027 --> 00:27:09,927 And... 741 00:27:09,929 --> 00:27:12,363 she's already suspecting you of something. 742 00:27:12,365 --> 00:27:16,100 Just be careful around her. Please. 743 00:27:22,975 --> 00:27:25,009 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Oh, wow. What is this, The Americans? 744 00:27:30,950 --> 00:27:32,282 He's gonna kill it. 745 00:27:32,284 --> 00:27:34,885 I hope so, my stomach hurts. 746 00:27:34,887 --> 00:27:36,387 Okay, hello, everyone. 747 00:27:36,389 --> 00:27:38,288 Get ready to laugh... 748 00:27:38,290 --> 00:27:39,673 or not. I can't really say 749 00:27:39,674 --> 00:27:41,057 because we have a first-time performer 750 00:27:41,060 --> 00:27:42,192 here at The Laugh Outlet. 751 00:27:42,194 --> 00:27:43,394 So, please give 752 00:27:43,396 --> 00:27:45,062 a "we'll-reserve-judgment" welcome 753 00:27:45,064 --> 00:27:46,296 to Michael Cordero. 754 00:27:46,298 --> 00:27:48,999 (audience cheering) 755 00:27:49,001 --> 00:27:50,200 (whooping) Bravo, Michael! 756 00:27:50,202 --> 00:27:52,069 Yeah, baby! 757 00:27:52,071 --> 00:27:54,271 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Go, Michael! 758 00:27:56,409 --> 00:27:57,975 Come on. 759 00:27:57,977 --> 00:27:59,677 Go, Michael. 760 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:02,680 Michael, go. 761 00:28:06,452 --> 00:28:09,420 This is either a classic case of stage fright 762 00:28:09,422 --> 00:28:13,290 or an ill-timed series of tiny, consecutive strokes. 763 00:28:14,927 --> 00:28:15,926 You suck. 764 00:28:23,302 --> 00:28:24,468 (microphone feedback) 765 00:28:24,470 --> 00:28:26,003 Can somebody get me a gong already? 766 00:28:26,005 --> 00:28:27,004 (woman laughs) 767 00:28:27,006 --> 00:28:28,172 (man imitates gong ringing) 768 00:28:28,174 --> 00:28:29,173 (audience members laugh) 769 00:28:29,175 --> 00:28:30,407 MAN: Get off the stage. 770 00:28:30,409 --> 00:28:33,310 Psst. You spend a lot of time with a toddler. 771 00:28:33,312 --> 00:28:35,446 (whispering): I should go. Hey. You got this. 772 00:28:35,448 --> 00:28:37,481 You spend a lot of time with a toddler. 773 00:28:37,483 --> 00:28:39,149 (audience whispering) 774 00:28:39,151 --> 00:28:40,250 You spend a lot of time with a toddler. 775 00:28:40,252 --> 00:28:42,219 I, uh, I spend a lot of time 776 00:28:42,221 --> 00:28:44,321 with a toddler. 777 00:28:44,323 --> 00:28:46,390 And so... And so, um, I-I've been watching 778 00:28:46,392 --> 00:28:48,125 (mouthing) a lot of Sesame Street. 779 00:28:48,127 --> 00:28:51,395 And you know who goes down there one day? Uh... 780 00:28:51,397 --> 00:28:54,031 Bobcat Goldthwait. 781 00:28:54,033 --> 00:28:55,232 Yeah, you remember him, right? 782 00:28:55,234 --> 00:28:57,000 From the Police Academy movies. 783 00:28:57,002 --> 00:28:59,203 Well, those movies are actually one of the reasons 784 00:28:59,205 --> 00:29:01,138 why I became a cop, except six, 785 00:29:01,140 --> 00:29:03,073 Under Siege, 'cause that was just goofy. 786 00:29:03,075 --> 00:29:05,109 (Jane and Rogelio laugh) 787 00:29:05,110 --> 00:29:07,144 Anyway, Bobcat talks to Cookie Monster, he's like, 788 00:29:07,146 --> 00:29:09,379 (imitating Bobcat Goldthwait): Hey, um, uh, Cookie Monster, 789 00:29:09,381 --> 00:29:13,383 um, you want to get the biggest cookie you've ever seen? 790 00:29:13,385 --> 00:29:14,985 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Well, this bit goes on longer than it should, 791 00:29:14,987 --> 00:29:16,720 but it should be noted 792 00:29:16,721 --> 00:29:18,454 that Michael wasn't the worst comedian in the world. 793 00:29:18,457 --> 00:29:20,424 This is Jerry Seinfeld as E.T. 794 00:29:20,426 --> 00:29:22,426 (imitating Jerry Seinfeld): Did you ever have a time 795 00:29:22,428 --> 00:29:25,295 where your finger just glows for no reason? 796 00:29:25,297 --> 00:29:28,198 The pirate from Captain Phillips as played by SpongeBob, 797 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:29,650 uh, Mateo's favorite. 798 00:29:29,651 --> 00:29:31,101 (imitating SpongeBob): Look at me! Look at me! 799 00:29:31,103 --> 00:29:32,202 I'm the captain now. 800 00:29:32,204 --> 00:29:34,271 (imitates SpongeBob's laughter) 801 00:29:34,273 --> 00:29:36,206 Dame Judi Dench as Scarface. 802 00:29:36,208 --> 00:29:37,941 (imitating Judi Dench): First you get the money, 803 00:29:37,943 --> 00:29:41,211 then... you get the power, 804 00:29:41,213 --> 00:29:43,280 then you get the woman. 805 00:29:43,282 --> 00:29:45,115 That one went right over Mateo's head. 806 00:29:45,117 --> 00:29:47,518 At least, not to the people who loved him the most. 807 00:29:50,055 --> 00:29:52,089 But on a less comedic note... 808 00:29:53,459 --> 00:29:56,326 EMILIO: You are such a disappointment. 809 00:29:56,328 --> 00:29:58,028 We're at 50% capacity. 810 00:29:58,030 --> 00:29:59,196 Dad, I'm working on that. 811 00:30:00,466 --> 00:30:01,465 Just give me a chance. 812 00:30:01,467 --> 00:30:03,433 You're lazy. You're unmotivated. 813 00:30:03,435 --> 00:30:05,302 You've accomplished nothing. 814 00:30:07,039 --> 00:30:09,439 Look at your sister. Even she is on the right path. 815 00:30:09,441 --> 00:30:11,141 Dad, I don't understand why you coddle her. 816 00:30:11,143 --> 00:30:12,342 Luisa's family and... 817 00:30:12,344 --> 00:30:13,510 family's everything. 818 00:30:15,147 --> 00:30:16,680 MICHAEL: You are not 819 00:30:16,681 --> 00:30:18,214 Emilio and Elena's biological son. 820 00:30:18,217 --> 00:30:19,416 I wonder if my dad knew. 821 00:30:19,418 --> 00:30:20,918 That's why he always 822 00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:22,052 treated me so differently. 823 00:30:25,491 --> 00:30:29,326 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Wait, why does he look so upset? 824 00:30:29,328 --> 00:30:31,061 I can't see anything from here. 825 00:30:31,063 --> 00:30:32,996 That's better. 826 00:30:32,998 --> 00:30:35,032 An addendum to Emilio's will? 827 00:30:43,108 --> 00:30:45,509 I knew I was right to be worried about the money. 828 00:30:45,511 --> 00:30:47,244 And you guys thought I was shallow. 829 00:30:47,246 --> 00:30:49,546 (knocking on door) 830 00:30:52,551 --> 00:30:54,017 Petra, this is not a good time. 831 00:30:54,019 --> 00:30:56,086 Frankly, I don't care. 832 00:30:56,088 --> 00:30:57,454 It's awfully dark in here. 833 00:30:58,958 --> 00:31:00,157 Hiding something? 834 00:31:00,159 --> 00:31:01,592 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: The will. 835 00:31:02,995 --> 00:31:04,394 What's going on, Petra? 836 00:31:04,396 --> 00:31:07,464 You know, maybe I could have forgiven you 837 00:31:07,466 --> 00:31:10,300 for not knowing I was in a coma. 838 00:31:12,137 --> 00:31:13,937 Maybe I could have forgiven you for, 839 00:31:13,939 --> 00:31:15,339 (pouring drink) I don't know, 840 00:31:15,341 --> 00:31:18,075 sleeping with my sister. 841 00:31:18,077 --> 00:31:21,044 Maybe I could have even forgiven you for... 842 00:31:21,046 --> 00:31:23,280 using Scott to screw me. 843 00:31:23,282 --> 00:31:25,015 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Uh-oh. 844 00:31:25,017 --> 00:31:27,217 Uh, what are you talking about? 845 00:31:27,219 --> 00:31:28,485 He told me. 846 00:31:29,521 --> 00:31:31,021 I went to him, 847 00:31:31,023 --> 00:31:34,391 as Anezka, and he told me. 848 00:31:35,461 --> 00:31:38,929 You made me feel like I... 849 00:31:38,931 --> 00:31:41,565 (chuckles) like I was... 850 00:31:41,567 --> 00:31:44,968 crazy... and paranoid. 851 00:31:44,970 --> 00:31:48,171 I'm sorry. Well, I'm not. 852 00:31:48,173 --> 00:31:51,441 'Cause now I know who you really are, 853 00:31:51,443 --> 00:31:53,477 and the lengths you'll go to to get what you want. 854 00:31:53,479 --> 00:31:55,545 But let me tell you something. 855 00:31:55,547 --> 00:32:00,050 You... have absolutely no idea 856 00:32:00,052 --> 00:32:01,385 the lengths I'll go to. 857 00:32:03,923 --> 00:32:06,189 XIOMARA: So I wanted to apologize. 858 00:32:06,191 --> 00:32:09,526 I was rude before, and I want to assure you 859 00:32:09,528 --> 00:32:12,329 that Rogelio does have a supportive family. 860 00:32:12,331 --> 00:32:13,463 Doesn't seem like it. 861 00:32:13,465 --> 00:32:15,332 Look, I'm just protective of him. 862 00:32:15,334 --> 00:32:17,034 You guys are moving fast. 863 00:32:17,036 --> 00:32:18,335 In some ways. 864 00:32:18,337 --> 00:32:19,536 But we've both been wanting children 865 00:32:19,538 --> 00:32:21,004 for a really long time, 866 00:32:21,006 --> 00:32:22,105 and we've both been unlucky in love. 867 00:32:22,107 --> 00:32:24,141 It's a gamble. Love is a gamble. 868 00:32:24,143 --> 00:32:27,144 This is methodical. 869 00:32:27,146 --> 00:32:28,946 I'm only looking for one quality, 870 00:32:28,948 --> 00:32:30,314 and that's a good father for my child. 871 00:32:31,350 --> 00:32:33,050 And I know Rogelio will be one 872 00:32:33,052 --> 00:32:34,618 because of the way he talks about your daughter. 873 00:32:37,056 --> 00:32:39,056 There you are. Should we go? 874 00:32:39,058 --> 00:32:40,457 I'm shooting my film tomorrow morning, 875 00:32:40,459 --> 00:32:43,126 and, unlike Beyoncé, I don't wake up like this. 876 00:32:43,495 --> 00:32:45,262 Break a leg. 877 00:32:45,264 --> 00:32:49,032 Oh, and I was just telling Darci, 878 00:32:49,034 --> 00:32:52,169 question number 42? 879 00:32:52,171 --> 00:32:54,237 It's a yes. 880 00:32:57,276 --> 00:32:59,276 So, question. Hmm? 881 00:32:59,278 --> 00:33:01,011 Did you really think I was funny 882 00:33:01,013 --> 00:33:02,245 when I was practicing and stuff? 883 00:33:03,515 --> 00:33:05,082 I mean, yeah. 884 00:33:06,118 --> 00:33:07,284 Not totally. 885 00:33:07,286 --> 00:33:10,721 Oh, my God. Why didn't you tell me? 886 00:33:10,723 --> 00:33:12,389 You let me make a fool of myself. 887 00:33:12,391 --> 00:33:13,390 I wanted to stay out of it and be supportive, 888 00:33:13,392 --> 00:33:15,092 like Mr. Let It Bee said. 889 00:33:15,094 --> 00:33:17,127 Oh, I almost forgot about Mr. Let It Bee. Oh, my God. 890 00:33:17,129 --> 00:33:20,097 I shouldn't have brought it up. "I kinda rely on your meddling, Jane." 891 00:33:20,099 --> 00:33:23,266 Or your judgments, let's call it. 892 00:33:23,268 --> 00:33:26,269 I would have much rather you told me to save my set 893 00:33:26,271 --> 00:33:29,272 for Christmas with the Villanuevas. 894 00:33:29,274 --> 00:33:32,009 Not even Christmas with the Villa... 895 00:33:32,011 --> 00:33:34,144 I'm just being honest. Ow. Ouch. Ouch. 896 00:33:34,146 --> 00:33:35,278 (goofy voice): Honestly? Hmm? 897 00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:37,481 Mr. Let It Bee's kinda in the mood. 898 00:33:37,483 --> 00:33:40,017 Michael, stop it. Bzzz. 899 00:33:40,019 --> 00:33:41,418 I'm serious. 900 00:33:41,420 --> 00:33:44,054 Let's get bizzzy. Bizzzy! 901 00:33:44,056 --> 00:33:45,389 (laughing) 902 00:33:51,030 --> 00:33:51,762 (phone ringing) 903 00:33:51,764 --> 00:33:53,296 Abuela? 904 00:33:57,336 --> 00:33:59,336 Oh, no. What happened? 905 00:33:59,338 --> 00:34:02,105 I thought she was having brunch with Bruce and Tess. 906 00:34:10,516 --> 00:34:12,282 Oh, no. 907 00:34:14,186 --> 00:34:15,285 (buzzing) 908 00:34:15,287 --> 00:34:18,055 Don't do it, Jane. 909 00:34:18,057 --> 00:34:20,190 No meddling. Remember, 910 00:34:20,192 --> 00:34:22,225 meddling merely makes a mess. 911 00:34:22,227 --> 00:34:24,494 But sometimes meddling's for the best. 912 00:34:24,496 --> 00:34:26,096 Like Michael told you. 913 00:34:26,098 --> 00:34:27,764 Who are you? Who am I? 914 00:34:27,766 --> 00:34:29,199 I'm Bette Meddler. 915 00:34:29,201 --> 00:34:30,333 And I say Jane 916 00:34:30,335 --> 00:34:33,170 should put the pedal to the meddle. 917 00:34:33,172 --> 00:34:35,238 Buzz off. Do it, Jane. 918 00:34:35,240 --> 00:34:38,208 You're the wind beneath her wings. 919 00:34:42,347 --> 00:34:44,448 You know what? I will. 920 00:34:44,450 --> 00:34:47,350 Uh, let me call you back, Abuela. 921 00:34:52,291 --> 00:34:53,590 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: You know those moments 922 00:34:53,592 --> 00:34:56,326 when a solution is crystal clear... 923 00:34:56,328 --> 00:34:58,562 and then you get there and realize it might not be 924 00:34:58,564 --> 00:35:00,464 such a great idea? Can I help you with something? 925 00:35:00,466 --> 00:35:02,299 Oh, no, uh... 926 00:35:03,802 --> 00:35:05,368 Never mind, I was just leaving. 927 00:35:05,370 --> 00:35:06,837 Wait. 928 00:35:06,839 --> 00:35:08,371 You're Jane Villanueva, right? 929 00:35:08,373 --> 00:35:10,373 What are you doing here? 930 00:35:10,375 --> 00:35:11,842 Did your slutty mom send you here to spy on me? 931 00:35:13,378 --> 00:35:15,345 Uh, no, she didn't. 932 00:35:15,347 --> 00:35:18,181 It's Jane. I recognize her from Instagram. 933 00:35:18,183 --> 00:35:19,816 Her mom's the ho-bag. 934 00:35:19,818 --> 00:35:23,186 You just walked in to the wrong store, girl. 935 00:35:31,864 --> 00:35:33,163 Tell your mom to leave Tess alone. 936 00:35:33,165 --> 00:35:34,197 Yeah, and tell her skanky ass 937 00:35:34,199 --> 00:35:36,500 to step off. Girls, please. 938 00:35:36,502 --> 00:35:37,901 Watch your language. 939 00:35:37,903 --> 00:35:40,170 Hey, I got this. 940 00:35:40,172 --> 00:35:41,404 Go fold those graphic sleep tees. 941 00:35:41,406 --> 00:35:43,473 But... We can... Sleep tees! 942 00:35:46,311 --> 00:35:47,777 What do you want? 943 00:35:47,779 --> 00:35:50,213 Just to talk. 944 00:35:50,215 --> 00:35:52,182 Look, I get why you hate my mom, 945 00:35:52,184 --> 00:35:53,283 but she's not who you think she is. 946 00:35:53,285 --> 00:35:54,885 She's changed. 947 00:35:54,887 --> 00:35:58,221 I think you need to change because your outfit is basic. 948 00:35:58,223 --> 00:36:00,790 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Dang, she dropped the "B" word. 949 00:36:00,792 --> 00:36:03,293 Understand. Got that note. 950 00:36:03,295 --> 00:36:05,228 Anyway, I just mean 951 00:36:05,230 --> 00:36:08,398 my mom wouldn't do the things she did then now. 952 00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:11,935 And I know she is so sorry for how she acted, 953 00:36:11,937 --> 00:36:14,204 and I get how you feel, I honestly do. 954 00:36:14,206 --> 00:36:16,439 But they have something. 955 00:36:16,441 --> 00:36:17,741 They make each other happy. 956 00:36:17,743 --> 00:36:19,843 And trust me, I hate to admit that. 957 00:36:19,845 --> 00:36:22,445 Are you buying anything? 958 00:36:22,447 --> 00:36:24,314 Because I work on commission. 959 00:36:25,918 --> 00:36:27,250 Y-y-yeah. 960 00:36:27,252 --> 00:36:28,919 These, uh... these socks. 961 00:36:28,921 --> 00:36:30,921 That's it? 962 00:36:30,923 --> 00:36:35,325 Uh, also, um, this top. 963 00:36:35,327 --> 00:36:37,561 And I can't wait to check out those graphic sleep tees. 964 00:36:39,264 --> 00:36:42,966 And who doesn't need an extra pair of khakis? 965 00:36:42,968 --> 00:36:45,769 I can't believe they costumed me in khakis. 966 00:36:45,771 --> 00:36:47,938 They're so not flattering. Relax, Rogelio. 967 00:36:47,940 --> 00:36:51,241 You're only going to be wearing them for a few seconds. 968 00:36:52,411 --> 00:36:55,478 All right. Contract signed. 969 00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:57,447 Good luck out there. Wait. 970 00:36:58,617 --> 00:37:02,752 Sorry, I'm just a little nervous. 971 00:37:02,754 --> 00:37:04,254 Is it the nudity? 972 00:37:04,256 --> 00:37:08,325 God, no, not that. That's nothing. 973 00:37:08,327 --> 00:37:10,460 It's just that I'm used to telenovelas, 974 00:37:10,462 --> 00:37:12,462 and this is indie film acting. 975 00:37:12,464 --> 00:37:13,964 It's more subtle. 976 00:37:13,966 --> 00:37:15,432 I just want it to be great. 977 00:37:17,469 --> 00:37:19,336 Now, listen, Rogelio. 978 00:37:19,338 --> 00:37:21,771 Don't you let that doubt creep in. 979 00:37:21,773 --> 00:37:24,507 I know your matchmaking profile inside and out, 980 00:37:24,509 --> 00:37:26,876 and your confidence quadrant was off the charts. 981 00:37:26,878 --> 00:37:29,512 And one day our kid is gonna be so proud of you 982 00:37:29,514 --> 00:37:30,880 for giving this great performance, 983 00:37:30,882 --> 00:37:32,782 so you get out there. 984 00:37:32,784 --> 00:37:34,784 Do it for our future spawn. 985 00:37:34,786 --> 00:37:36,386 Come with me? 986 00:37:36,388 --> 00:37:37,954 I'd love to. 987 00:37:48,867 --> 00:37:52,269 I can't do this anymore. 988 00:37:52,271 --> 00:37:55,572 I don't want to feel anymore. 989 00:37:55,574 --> 00:37:56,840 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And it was at this rather 990 00:37:56,842 --> 00:37:58,308 inopportune moment 991 00:37:58,310 --> 00:38:00,910 that Rogelio realized something. 992 00:38:05,851 --> 00:38:07,350 Um, Rogelio... 993 00:38:11,423 --> 00:38:13,957 Oh, my! 994 00:38:13,959 --> 00:38:15,592 Yeah, can you do something about that? 995 00:38:18,430 --> 00:38:20,030 I don't think I can just now. 996 00:38:20,032 --> 00:38:22,432 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yep, his feelings for Darci 997 00:38:22,434 --> 00:38:24,968 had definitely come up. 998 00:38:31,009 --> 00:38:34,811 Thanks for leaving the stage. 999 00:38:34,813 --> 00:38:37,914 And I have something to confess. 1000 00:38:37,916 --> 00:38:39,949 I've grown feelings for you. 1001 00:38:39,951 --> 00:38:42,519 Yeah, I kind of picked up on that. 1002 00:38:43,455 --> 00:38:45,422 But you gotta get over it 1003 00:38:45,424 --> 00:38:47,057 if you want to have a baby with me, understand? 1004 00:38:50,362 --> 00:38:51,895 (sighs) How bad is it? 1005 00:38:51,897 --> 00:38:53,430 Did I make everything worse? 1006 00:38:53,432 --> 00:38:54,831 Actually, Bruce and Tess had 1007 00:38:54,833 --> 00:38:56,466 their first bonding moment in a while, 1008 00:38:56,468 --> 00:38:58,835 over how unhinged you seem to be. 1009 00:38:58,837 --> 00:39:00,570 And we rescheduled brunch. 1010 00:39:00,572 --> 00:39:03,373 She's giving me a chance. That's great. 1011 00:39:03,375 --> 00:39:05,041 I'm so happy I helped. Yeah, well, 1012 00:39:05,043 --> 00:39:06,343 no helping anymore. 1013 00:39:06,345 --> 00:39:07,977 Why? Michael appreciates it. 1014 00:39:07,979 --> 00:39:09,546 He's your husband. 1015 00:39:09,548 --> 00:39:10,580 There are many, many things 1016 00:39:10,582 --> 00:39:11,948 you should do with your husband 1017 00:39:11,950 --> 00:39:12,949 that you shouldn't do with your mom. 1018 00:39:12,951 --> 00:39:14,451 Good point. 1019 00:39:14,453 --> 00:39:15,752 I'll stay out of your relationship with Bruce. 1020 00:39:15,754 --> 00:39:16,920 Gotta go. Love you. 1021 00:39:16,922 --> 00:39:18,355 (phone beeps) 1022 00:39:20,959 --> 00:39:23,793 Oh, um, hi. 1023 00:39:23,795 --> 00:39:25,562 Jane. Hi. 1024 00:39:25,564 --> 00:39:27,030 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Wait, I thought 1025 00:39:27,032 --> 00:39:28,998 he was done with her. 1026 00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:31,434 Sorry, I lost track of time. 1027 00:39:31,436 --> 00:39:34,003 Hey, so listen... 1028 00:39:34,005 --> 00:39:35,438 You don't need to tell me. It's your business. 1029 00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:36,506 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Good choice. 1030 00:39:43,148 --> 00:39:45,615 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I think. 1031 00:39:45,617 --> 00:39:49,052 It just seems like a disaster waiting to happen, that's all. 1032 00:39:49,054 --> 00:39:50,153 But you're staying out of it, right? 1033 00:39:50,155 --> 00:39:52,455 Mm-hmm. 1034 00:39:52,457 --> 00:39:53,523 Random question. 1035 00:39:53,525 --> 00:39:56,059 How 'bout a lawyer? For what? 1036 00:39:56,061 --> 00:39:58,161 For me, like, as a job? 1037 00:39:59,398 --> 00:40:00,930 I mean, it's related to police work 1038 00:40:00,932 --> 00:40:03,633 and investigating, you know? 1039 00:40:03,635 --> 00:40:04,968 Whenever I testify in cases, 1040 00:40:04,970 --> 00:40:06,436 I always thought the legal positioning 1041 00:40:06,438 --> 00:40:07,604 was interesting. 1042 00:40:07,606 --> 00:40:09,639 Yeah, that's true. Yeah. 1043 00:40:09,641 --> 00:40:11,941 But it's not practical. I'd have to go back to school. 1044 00:40:11,943 --> 00:40:13,643 So you go back to school. 1045 00:40:13,645 --> 00:40:16,579 Does it feel exciting? That's the important thing. 1046 00:40:16,581 --> 00:40:18,648 Is it something you could see yourself doing long-term? 1047 00:40:18,650 --> 00:40:21,151 Yeah, I think so. 1048 00:40:22,187 --> 00:40:26,156 I mean, the law offices of Michael Cordero Jr. 1049 00:40:26,158 --> 00:40:27,924 I like the sound of that. 1050 00:40:27,926 --> 00:40:29,159 Oh, wow, you opened your own firm already. 1051 00:40:29,161 --> 00:40:30,427 Well, I gotta dream big. 1052 00:40:30,429 --> 00:40:31,961 That's what I'm talking about. 1053 00:40:31,963 --> 00:40:33,930 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ah, to see that dream 1054 00:40:33,932 --> 00:40:35,432 come true. 1055 00:40:35,434 --> 00:40:36,966 But alas... 1056 00:40:36,968 --> 00:40:39,068 I'm not gonna sugarcoat things, okay? 1057 00:40:39,070 --> 00:40:42,505 Because I'm your lawyer, so there's confidentiality here. 1058 00:40:42,507 --> 00:40:45,642 I'm thinking your father suspected you weren't his son. 1059 00:40:45,644 --> 00:40:47,477 That's why he wrote this addendum. 1060 00:40:49,047 --> 00:40:51,114 So am I really entitled to nothing? 1061 00:40:51,116 --> 00:40:53,983 That's only if the addendum is probated. 1062 00:40:53,985 --> 00:40:55,985 From what you're telling me, 1063 00:40:55,987 --> 00:40:58,054 you're the only one who knows it exists. 1064 00:41:02,861 --> 00:41:05,195 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Or was he? 1065 00:41:06,965 --> 00:41:08,231 It's awfully dark in here. 1066 00:41:20,045 --> 00:41:22,078 RAFAEL (over speaker): No, I haven't told anybody. 1067 00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:23,179 ALLISON: Let's just keep it that way. 1068 00:41:23,181 --> 00:41:24,614 All right? Nobody at all. 1069 00:41:24,616 --> 00:41:26,483 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yep, 1070 00:41:26,485 --> 00:41:28,051 looks like someone else 1071 00:41:28,053 --> 00:41:30,153 knows it exists, too.