1 00:00:00,087 --> 00:00:02,088 [SCREECHING SOFTLY] 2 00:00:04,090 --> 00:00:05,307 Look at this line. 3 00:00:05,351 --> 00:00:07,613 This is the big opening of our nightclub 4 00:00:07,656 --> 00:00:09,049 and everyone is here. 5 00:00:09,093 --> 00:00:11,181 Grundwulf, you old fornicator, 6 00:00:11,224 --> 00:00:12,877 don't you look snazzy? 7 00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:14,792 Frau Blixen, you bitch. 8 00:00:14,835 --> 00:00:19,142 To launch our grand opening, we are going to be presenting 9 00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:21,665 the one and the only... 10 00:00:21,709 --> 00:00:23,623 drumroll... 11 00:00:23,666 --> 00:00:25,190 Richie Suck! 12 00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:27,191 - [CHEERING] - [SHOUTS] Wow! 13 00:00:27,234 --> 00:00:28,887 NADJA: If you are a vampire, then you will know 14 00:00:28,930 --> 00:00:30,758 who Richie Suck is. 15 00:00:30,802 --> 00:00:32,063 He is probably the greatest vampire rap artist 16 00:00:32,107 --> 00:00:33,325 of all time. 17 00:00:33,369 --> 00:00:34,978 He's actually sucked Richie Suck, 18 00:00:35,022 --> 00:00:37,066 haven't you, Phillip? [LAUGHING] 19 00:00:37,110 --> 00:00:39,416 Bitin' My Style or Sundown Funtown. 20 00:00:39,460 --> 00:00:42,374 And everyone knows Throat Juice. 21 00:00:42,417 --> 00:00:43,636 "Gonna bust loose 22 00:00:43,679 --> 00:00:45,071 "on the club roof 23 00:00:45,115 --> 00:00:46,768 "sucking throat juice 24 00:00:46,812 --> 00:00:48,639 like it's Grey Goose." 25 00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:50,249 Richie Suck has not performed 26 00:00:50,293 --> 00:00:53,208 or put out any new music for ten years. 27 00:00:53,250 --> 00:00:55,165 It is said that he has gone into seclusion 28 00:00:55,209 --> 00:00:57,210 to work on his ultimate masterpiece. 29 00:00:57,253 --> 00:00:58,993 Doing his first live performance in over a decade 30 00:00:59,037 --> 00:01:01,169 is a very huge deal for him. 31 00:01:01,213 --> 00:01:02,604 And it's also a huge deal for us. 32 00:01:02,648 --> 00:01:04,997 This is my club, everyone, just so you know. 33 00:01:05,041 --> 00:01:05,998 I'm Nadja, 34 00:01:06,042 --> 00:01:07,303 and it's called Nadja's. 35 00:01:07,346 --> 00:01:08,260 It's my club! [CHUCKLES] 36 00:01:09,608 --> 00:01:10,827 [LAUGHING] 37 00:01:10,870 --> 00:01:13,089 ["YOU'RE DEAD" BY NORMA TANEGA PLAYING] 38 00:01:13,133 --> 00:01:15,612 ♪ Don't sing if you want to live long ♪ 39 00:01:15,656 --> 00:01:18,832 ♪ They have no use for your song ♪ 40 00:01:18,875 --> 00:01:21,703 ♪ You're dead, you're dead, you're dead ♪ 41 00:01:21,747 --> 00:01:24,140 ♪ You're dead and out of this world ♪ 42 00:01:25,271 --> 00:01:28,317 ♪ Now your hope and compassion is gone ♪ 43 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:31,014 ♪ You sold out your dream to the world ♪ 44 00:01:31,058 --> 00:01:34,276 ♪ Stay dead, stay dead, stay dead ♪ 45 00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:36,409 ♪ You're dead and out of this world. ♪ 46 00:01:36,452 --> 00:01:38,279 ♪ 47 00:01:45,327 --> 00:01:47,242 Coming through, that's right. 48 00:01:47,285 --> 00:01:49,286 Um, we're going to try and keep these dogs at bay 49 00:01:49,330 --> 00:01:51,505 for another hour or two, okay, guys? 50 00:01:51,548 --> 00:01:53,810 'Cause we want to try and build anticipation and desire. 51 00:01:53,854 --> 00:01:55,595 I can't tell if she heard me. 52 00:01:55,638 --> 00:01:58,075 Does anyone down here want to see Richie Suck? 53 00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,945 [CHEERING] 54 00:01:59,988 --> 00:02:04,382 I said, are there any vampires in this motherfucking dungeon 55 00:02:04,426 --> 00:02:06,905 who want to see Richie Suck? 56 00:02:06,949 --> 00:02:09,473 [CHEERING, WHOOPING] 57 00:02:09,517 --> 00:02:11,866 And you'll just have to wait a little bit longer 58 00:02:11,909 --> 00:02:13,736 and then you will pay her, 59 00:02:13,780 --> 00:02:15,302 and then you'll probably have to wait a little bit longer. 60 00:02:15,346 --> 00:02:17,304 - [MUTTERING, HISSING] - Yay, we love to wait. 61 00:02:17,348 --> 00:02:18,739 - [CROWD HISSING] - Yeah! 62 00:02:18,783 --> 00:02:21,045 Um, if any of them try to start to kill you, 63 00:02:21,089 --> 00:02:23,873 just let me know and I will send someone down to take your place. 64 00:02:23,916 --> 00:02:25,440 GUIDE: Love the pillows. 65 00:02:25,483 --> 00:02:27,136 I know you haven't had a pillow before, 66 00:02:27,180 --> 00:02:28,442 but they have to be soft. 67 00:02:28,485 --> 00:02:30,704 Everything is in order, Mistress Nadja. 68 00:02:30,747 --> 00:02:32,618 The wraiths have topped off the blood sprinklers. 69 00:02:32,661 --> 00:02:33,836 NADJA: Wonderful. 70 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:36,360 People think that a vampire nightclub 71 00:02:36,403 --> 00:02:37,969 is just a 24-hour live suck-and-fuck fest 72 00:02:38,012 --> 00:02:39,709 that prints money. 73 00:02:39,752 --> 00:02:42,146 - But it is not. - GUIDE: No, it's a lot of hard work. 74 00:02:42,190 --> 00:02:43,712 NADJA: Nandor. 75 00:02:43,755 --> 00:02:45,104 What are you doing just stood there 76 00:02:45,147 --> 00:02:46,496 like a big fat mopey load? 77 00:02:46,540 --> 00:02:49,150 - Where is your undead fiancée? - Marwa is at home. 78 00:02:49,194 --> 00:02:51,282 I'm kind of giving her some space. 79 00:02:51,325 --> 00:02:52,326 Oh. 80 00:02:52,370 --> 00:02:53,239 [GROANS] 81 00:02:54,980 --> 00:02:57,242 Can you go and stand over there and just pretend not to listen? 82 00:02:57,286 --> 00:02:58,374 I can do that. 83 00:02:58,417 --> 00:03:00,331 Trouble in paradise already, is it? 84 00:03:00,375 --> 00:03:03,551 It's just... Marwa is the perfect woman. 85 00:03:03,594 --> 00:03:05,291 - Right. - And I've got the djinn 86 00:03:05,334 --> 00:03:07,292 to make her even more perfect. 87 00:03:07,335 --> 00:03:08,858 I mean, you should see the modifications 88 00:03:08,902 --> 00:03:10,250 we've done to her ass. 89 00:03:10,294 --> 00:03:11,773 - But... - Ass, butt, 90 00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:14,471 whatever you want to call it. It is now perfect. 91 00:03:14,514 --> 00:03:16,559 NADJA: But... the problem is... 92 00:03:16,602 --> 00:03:18,081 Again, the butt is not the problem. 93 00:03:18,125 --> 00:03:20,561 The problem is that she is so perfect. 94 00:03:20,604 --> 00:03:23,128 I am just worried that... [SIGHS] 95 00:03:23,171 --> 00:03:25,521 I am not perfect enough for her. 96 00:03:25,565 --> 00:03:26,521 It's never too late to do some improvements 97 00:03:26,565 --> 00:03:28,001 on yourself, so as... 98 00:03:28,044 --> 00:03:30,263 you would be deserving of her love, huh? 99 00:03:30,307 --> 00:03:31,264 Yes. 100 00:03:31,307 --> 00:03:33,004 I had not thought of that. 101 00:03:33,047 --> 00:03:35,484 Thank you. I will try this. 102 00:03:35,527 --> 00:03:38,094 - And nice hats. - Thank you. 103 00:03:38,138 --> 00:03:40,269 It's okay, thank you. Don't mind if I do? 104 00:03:40,313 --> 00:03:43,402 - [WHISPERING] - NANJA: Ooh, so exciting, ha! 105 00:03:43,445 --> 00:03:45,751 - Mistress Nadja? - Yes? 106 00:03:45,794 --> 00:03:48,448 I am afraid Richie Suck has cancelled. 107 00:03:48,492 --> 00:03:49,841 What? 108 00:03:51,581 --> 00:03:54,322 - Motherfucker! - [GLASS SHATTERING] 109 00:03:54,365 --> 00:03:56,149 - [ALARM BLARING] - Oh, shit. 110 00:03:56,192 --> 00:03:59,455 [SCREECHING SOFTLY] 111 00:03:59,499 --> 00:04:01,935 GUIDE: Richie Suck lives in a smokestack? 112 00:04:01,978 --> 00:04:03,545 NADJA: Okay, when we get inside, 113 00:04:03,589 --> 00:04:06,417 I'm going to go in and scare him and be the bad cop, 114 00:04:06,460 --> 00:04:08,418 and you're going to go to him and be very friendly. 115 00:04:08,461 --> 00:04:10,201 - The good cop, you know? - I ain't a cop. 116 00:04:10,245 --> 00:04:11,463 It's a tactic. 117 00:04:11,507 --> 00:04:14,726 Look, I ain't a cop or a narc or a snitch. 118 00:04:14,770 --> 00:04:17,380 It is pretend. Keep your perm on. 119 00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:18,380 Open up! 120 00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:20,773 Can I help you? 121 00:04:20,816 --> 00:04:23,949 Where the hell is Richie Suck? Take us to him at once. 122 00:04:23,992 --> 00:04:25,950 My master is not to be disturbed. 123 00:04:25,993 --> 00:04:26,907 He's resting right now. 124 00:04:26,951 --> 00:04:29,344 Like hell he is. 125 00:04:29,387 --> 00:04:30,736 He's supposed to be performing tonight. 126 00:04:30,780 --> 00:04:31,954 I'm not inviting you in. 127 00:04:31,997 --> 00:04:33,477 RICHIE: Hey, Tom. Just let them in, Tom. 128 00:04:33,521 --> 00:04:35,217 Oh, come on. [EXHALES] 129 00:04:35,261 --> 00:04:37,175 Sounded like an invite to me. 130 00:04:37,218 --> 00:04:38,567 - Thank you. - GUIDE: Move. 131 00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:40,133 NADJA: Okay, you pussy bitch, I'm telling you, 132 00:04:40,177 --> 00:04:41,352 you cannot cancel the show. 133 00:04:41,395 --> 00:04:42,395 What the fuck are you doing? 134 00:04:42,439 --> 00:04:44,223 - Chillin'? - Chilling? 135 00:04:44,267 --> 00:04:46,224 TOM: You need to leave. 136 00:04:46,268 --> 00:04:48,225 My master is way too tired for this. 137 00:04:48,269 --> 00:04:49,444 - Good night. - [NADJA GASPS] 138 00:04:49,487 --> 00:04:51,184 Richie Suck, who the hell is this jackzass? 139 00:04:51,227 --> 00:04:54,360 - This is my familiar, Tom. - Doctor Tom. 140 00:04:54,403 --> 00:04:55,838 And you let him speak to you like this? 141 00:04:55,882 --> 00:04:57,840 I take care of my master. 142 00:04:57,884 --> 00:05:00,146 He's been traumatized by the music business. 143 00:05:00,190 --> 00:05:01,799 Okay, okay. Begone, familiar. 144 00:05:01,842 --> 00:05:03,540 I'm not speaking to you. 145 00:05:03,583 --> 00:05:05,236 This is a vampires-only discussion. 146 00:05:05,280 --> 00:05:06,237 Right, Richie? 147 00:05:06,281 --> 00:05:08,020 Tom protects me from myself, 148 00:05:08,064 --> 00:05:09,586 so you need to be respectful. 149 00:05:09,630 --> 00:05:11,936 - Of a familiar? - I have a name. 150 00:05:11,980 --> 00:05:13,589 Shut up, familiar Tom. 151 00:05:13,633 --> 00:05:15,634 - It's "Doctor Tom." - NADJA: Oh. A doctor? 152 00:05:15,677 --> 00:05:17,418 Diagnose this. 153 00:05:17,462 --> 00:05:19,506 It's a middle finger in my face. 154 00:05:21,464 --> 00:05:23,595 He's a good doctor. 155 00:05:23,639 --> 00:05:25,031 Hey, guys, what's up? 156 00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:26,510 Before we dive in, be sure to smash 157 00:05:26,554 --> 00:05:28,164 the like button and subscribe. 158 00:05:28,208 --> 00:05:29,556 It really helps up my channel a lot. 159 00:05:29,599 --> 00:05:30,861 GUILLERMO: So... 160 00:05:30,905 --> 00:05:33,559 Baby Colin is growing at an alarming rate. 161 00:05:33,602 --> 00:05:35,821 Check out this village from Infinity Wars. 162 00:05:35,864 --> 00:05:37,082 It's cool, right? 163 00:05:37,125 --> 00:05:38,257 GUILLERMO: I mean, last week 164 00:05:38,301 --> 00:05:39,562 he was in diapers, and this week 165 00:05:39,605 --> 00:05:41,651 he looks like a six, seven-year-old, maybe? 166 00:05:41,694 --> 00:05:43,478 I mean, every time I buy him a new pair of shoes, 167 00:05:43,521 --> 00:05:45,261 he outgrows them between breakfast and lunch. 168 00:05:45,305 --> 00:05:46,871 But guess what? You can mod it 169 00:05:46,915 --> 00:05:49,612 so it looks just like the set of South Pacific. 170 00:05:49,656 --> 00:05:51,526 - I turn the set... - Oh, no. Gizmo. 171 00:05:51,570 --> 00:05:55,007 There you are. What the fuck have you got that boy doing? 172 00:05:55,050 --> 00:05:57,051 What? I didn't do anything. He does that all on his own. 173 00:05:57,095 --> 00:05:58,878 - LASZLO: I told you I wanted him to grow up... - See? 174 00:05:58,922 --> 00:06:00,576 ...to be an interesting son of a bitch, 175 00:06:00,619 --> 00:06:01,967 practicing fine art and culture. 176 00:06:02,011 --> 00:06:04,491 So how come he's still doing this boring shit? 177 00:06:04,534 --> 00:06:06,275 To him, this isn't boring. He's just like any other kid 178 00:06:06,319 --> 00:06:10,408 who likes Legos and Roblox and Nerf guns and musi... 179 00:06:10,451 --> 00:06:12,409 - All that stuff. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. And musi...? 180 00:06:12,452 --> 00:06:14,324 - What? - And musi...? 181 00:06:15,715 --> 00:06:17,369 What were you going to say? 182 00:06:17,413 --> 00:06:18,848 [SIGHS] 183 00:06:18,891 --> 00:06:20,283 [WHISPERING]: Okay. 184 00:06:20,327 --> 00:06:22,503 He really loves musical theater. 185 00:06:23,590 --> 00:06:25,418 Oh, no. 186 00:06:25,461 --> 00:06:27,680 What hath the dark lord wrought? 187 00:06:27,723 --> 00:06:29,202 Stop, okay? Maybe it's good for him. 188 00:06:29,246 --> 00:06:30,899 Maybe it's good for him. It's a good art, 189 00:06:30,943 --> 00:06:33,118 no different than literature or the cinema... 190 00:06:33,161 --> 00:06:35,467 It is not like any other art. 191 00:06:35,511 --> 00:06:38,077 Musical theater is the lowest of all entertainments. 192 00:06:38,121 --> 00:06:39,774 It's a gutter pantomime, 193 00:06:39,817 --> 00:06:41,906 performed by half-wits with painted faces, 194 00:06:41,950 --> 00:06:43,994 enjoyed by lower wits. 195 00:06:44,038 --> 00:06:45,691 Maybe some. But have you ever seen Rent? 196 00:06:45,734 --> 00:06:47,475 From you? Not a penny. Anyway. Shut up. 197 00:06:47,519 --> 00:06:48,649 I forbid it. 198 00:06:48,693 --> 00:06:50,650 No, he's a child. This is who he is. 199 00:06:50,694 --> 00:06:51,738 - And you have to learn to acce... - Don't you fuckin' tell me... 200 00:06:51,782 --> 00:06:53,565 - Hey, guys. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. 201 00:06:53,609 --> 00:06:55,871 - Great to see you. - Guess what? Come look at this. 202 00:06:55,914 --> 00:06:57,438 Wow, big time studio here. 203 00:06:57,481 --> 00:06:59,395 Yeah, I got two subscribers. 204 00:06:59,439 --> 00:07:01,483 You got two subscribers? Someone's a star. 205 00:07:02,658 --> 00:07:04,790 - ♪ - LASZLO: I'm exposing 206 00:07:04,833 --> 00:07:06,617 my boy to danger. 207 00:07:06,660 --> 00:07:08,314 Namely, art theft. 208 00:07:08,358 --> 00:07:11,795 No boy of mine's gonna be a pasty-faced musical theater nut 209 00:07:11,838 --> 00:07:14,623 with a Sondheim lyric for every occasion. 210 00:07:14,666 --> 00:07:15,579 - Lazzo, guess what? - What? 211 00:07:15,623 --> 00:07:17,537 Do you know what knolling is? 212 00:07:17,580 --> 00:07:18,929 It's... Hey! 213 00:07:18,973 --> 00:07:23,280 So knolling is this thing in Legos where you, like, 214 00:07:23,323 --> 00:07:25,499 organize all the pieces before you build it. Oh! 215 00:07:25,543 --> 00:07:28,109 LASZLO: No more musicals and Legos. It's time to grow up. 216 00:07:28,153 --> 00:07:29,893 Bat. [SCREECHING SOFTLY] 217 00:07:30,894 --> 00:07:32,111 ♪ 218 00:07:32,155 --> 00:07:33,852 Once I learned how to knoll, 219 00:07:33,895 --> 00:07:35,505 I threw away all my Lego instruction booklets. 220 00:07:35,549 --> 00:07:36,897 Fantastic. 221 00:07:36,940 --> 00:07:39,247 - Use this magic powder... - Uh-huh. 222 00:07:39,291 --> 00:07:40,856 to find the laser alarm triggers. 223 00:07:40,900 --> 00:07:43,902 Okay. Whoa. [LAUGHS] 224 00:07:43,945 --> 00:07:46,338 Then, you have to avoid the lasers. 225 00:07:46,382 --> 00:07:48,296 Much like this. 226 00:07:48,339 --> 00:07:49,645 [GRUNTS] 227 00:07:49,688 --> 00:07:50,862 [LAUGHS MISCHIEVOUSLY] 228 00:07:50,906 --> 00:07:51,907 Oh, ho! 229 00:07:51,950 --> 00:07:53,037 Hello. 230 00:07:53,081 --> 00:07:54,169 Oh, yes. 231 00:07:54,212 --> 00:07:55,865 Fuck it. 232 00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:57,954 [LAUGHS] See? 233 00:07:57,998 --> 00:07:59,477 - You're like a big Slinky. - All right. 234 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:02,914 Then you take this glass cutter and cut a hole in here. 235 00:08:02,957 --> 00:08:05,307 - But, Lazzo, guess what? - What? 236 00:08:05,350 --> 00:08:08,352 I used knolling when I got that Stranger Things Lego set. 237 00:08:08,396 --> 00:08:11,267 I used it to make the library in The Music Man, which is... 238 00:08:11,311 --> 00:08:13,137 Boy, we don't have time for this right now. 239 00:08:13,181 --> 00:08:15,269 - Let's get on. - Okay, but, Lazzo, guess what? 240 00:08:15,313 --> 00:08:16,488 You don't have to keep saying "Guess what?" 241 00:08:16,531 --> 00:08:18,706 to preface every remark that you make. 242 00:08:18,750 --> 00:08:20,968 Just say whatever the fuck it is that you want to say. 243 00:08:21,012 --> 00:08:23,492 Uh, I'm sorry. 244 00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:26,363 No, look, I'm... 245 00:08:26,407 --> 00:08:28,365 I'm sorry. What is it that you wanted to say? 246 00:08:28,408 --> 00:08:31,714 That set broke, so I shoved all the pieces under the bed. 247 00:08:31,758 --> 00:08:35,456 Okay. Fair enough. Now, can we continue with the crime? 248 00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:37,370 Yeah, sure. Do you think that Marian... 249 00:08:37,414 --> 00:08:39,763 - [ALARM BLARING] - What the fuck are you doing? I just said... 250 00:08:39,806 --> 00:08:41,504 - Shut up. - ...because it kind of rhymes with "librarian," 251 00:08:41,547 --> 00:08:42,939 or do you think it was so... 252 00:08:42,982 --> 00:08:45,375 NANDOR: I decided 253 00:08:45,419 --> 00:08:47,898 that to improve my relationship with my fiancée 254 00:08:47,942 --> 00:08:50,683 I need to do some work on myself. 255 00:08:50,726 --> 00:08:51,771 Hmm. It couldn't hurt. 256 00:08:51,814 --> 00:08:54,729 Little things like being present 257 00:08:54,773 --> 00:08:57,427 - or being a good listener. - Don't be so stupid, Guillermo. 258 00:08:58,601 --> 00:09:01,690 I wish to have the world's biggest penis. 259 00:09:01,733 --> 00:09:03,300 I see. 260 00:09:03,344 --> 00:09:04,779 Hmm. 261 00:09:04,822 --> 00:09:05,910 Of course. Your wish is... 262 00:09:05,954 --> 00:09:07,520 Oh, actually, can I just call 263 00:09:07,563 --> 00:09:09,738 a quick time-out? Can I have a minute with Nandor? 264 00:09:09,782 --> 00:09:12,087 If you'd be so kind as to give us a moment, Djinn. 265 00:09:12,131 --> 00:09:13,698 Is there a reason why you have delayed 266 00:09:13,741 --> 00:09:15,351 the bestowal upon me a giant dick? 267 00:09:15,394 --> 00:09:17,091 You need to be really careful here, okay? 268 00:09:17,135 --> 00:09:18,962 'Cause these djinns, they like to be tricky. 269 00:09:19,005 --> 00:09:21,398 Yes, I have heard this. 270 00:09:21,442 --> 00:09:23,530 Yeah, and if you're not precise and perfect with your wish, 271 00:09:23,573 --> 00:09:25,140 it can come back to bite you in the ass. 272 00:09:25,183 --> 00:09:27,184 Are you saying he's gonna give me a penis 273 00:09:27,228 --> 00:09:29,142 that's gonna bite me in my own ass? 274 00:09:29,185 --> 00:09:32,100 What? No. But may-maybe. Yes. To teach you a lesson. 275 00:09:32,144 --> 00:09:33,797 Make sure that it's where it's supposed to be, 276 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:35,320 and not like a random spot like your forehead. 277 00:09:35,364 --> 00:09:36,581 NANDOR: I get what you're saying. 278 00:09:36,625 --> 00:09:39,192 This reminds me of the tale of the man 279 00:09:39,235 --> 00:09:41,368 who wished to be the richest man in the world, 280 00:09:41,411 --> 00:09:44,413 but was then crushed under a mountain of gold coins. 281 00:09:44,457 --> 00:09:46,719 Exactly. Irony. 282 00:09:46,762 --> 00:09:49,938 Not iron. Gold. Gold coins. Try to keep up. 283 00:09:49,982 --> 00:09:51,939 - All right. - Okay. I'm going to ask 284 00:09:51,983 --> 00:09:53,157 for the world's biggest penis, 285 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:55,637 but not so big that it crushes me. 286 00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:57,029 Good. 287 00:09:57,073 --> 00:09:59,596 And that it replaces my current penis, 288 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:01,945 not an additional one. 289 00:10:01,989 --> 00:10:03,946 Or... extra penis 290 00:10:03,990 --> 00:10:06,427 attached to the end of the one I have already. 291 00:10:06,471 --> 00:10:07,993 We should really be writing this down. 292 00:10:08,036 --> 00:10:09,733 NADJA: Don't worry so much about the show. 293 00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:12,909 You can just do the hits and let us do the rest. 294 00:10:12,952 --> 00:10:15,432 - And... - Oh. ♪ Do-do-do-do-do. ♪ 295 00:10:15,476 --> 00:10:18,173 You can have as much blood as you like. 296 00:10:18,216 --> 00:10:19,914 - Virgin. Huh? [LAUGHS] - No. 297 00:10:19,957 --> 00:10:21,654 Just a little sippy sip? 298 00:10:21,697 --> 00:10:24,046 You're not hungry, Master. That's in your mind. 299 00:10:24,090 --> 00:10:25,743 - Please. - No. 300 00:10:25,786 --> 00:10:27,919 - Just a little sip. - It's not feeding time. 301 00:10:27,962 --> 00:10:30,268 - Look... - [NADJA SIGHS] 302 00:10:30,311 --> 00:10:31,703 I'm sorry. [KISSES] 303 00:10:31,747 --> 00:10:33,705 - Ew. - I'm sorry. I love you, Master. 304 00:10:33,748 --> 00:10:35,576 I'm just here to protect you. 305 00:10:35,619 --> 00:10:37,577 Obviously, Richie is being very much manipulated 306 00:10:37,620 --> 00:10:38,578 by his familiar, Tom. 307 00:10:38,621 --> 00:10:40,448 You don't want this. 308 00:10:40,492 --> 00:10:41,449 NADJA: It is something that happens. 309 00:10:41,493 --> 00:10:42,623 Yeah, not so much with vampires, 310 00:10:42,667 --> 00:10:44,972 but all the time in the music business. 311 00:10:45,016 --> 00:10:46,757 So we both thank you very much. 312 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:48,366 - I kind of want it, though. - And we're gonna give it... 313 00:10:48,410 --> 00:10:49,802 - We're gonna give it back. - Sippy, sippy. 314 00:10:49,846 --> 00:10:51,150 - If you can help me... - Just a little corner, man. 315 00:10:51,194 --> 00:10:52,977 TOM: You don't want it. No blood. 316 00:10:53,021 --> 00:10:55,805 But we'd like twice the money. 317 00:10:55,849 --> 00:10:58,025 And we're only doing new material. 318 00:10:58,068 --> 00:10:59,025 - [HISSES] - TOM: Come on. 319 00:10:59,068 --> 00:11:00,766 It's Richie Suck. 320 00:11:00,809 --> 00:11:02,723 Featuring DJ Tom Schmidt. 321 00:11:02,767 --> 00:11:04,594 I thought you were Doctor Tom. 322 00:11:04,637 --> 00:11:07,030 I'm Doctor Tom, the DJ. 323 00:11:07,073 --> 00:11:09,162 Okay. Fine. It is settled. 324 00:11:09,205 --> 00:11:11,250 You will be there, okay? In 30 minutes. 325 00:11:11,294 --> 00:11:14,774 I also happen to manage a small jazz trio. 326 00:11:14,817 --> 00:11:17,037 It'd be great as an opening act. They're called the Jazzmen 3. 327 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:18,603 They wail. 328 00:11:18,646 --> 00:11:19,778 GUIDE: Obviously, 329 00:11:19,821 --> 00:11:21,474 we've got to kill this Tom guy. 330 00:11:21,518 --> 00:11:23,170 Yes, also very standard 331 00:11:23,214 --> 00:11:25,216 music business protocol, but... [LAUGHS] 332 00:11:25,259 --> 00:11:27,478 Please, can we put a pin in that until after the show? 333 00:11:27,522 --> 00:11:28,870 - [BOTH LAUGHING] - Of course. 334 00:11:33,090 --> 00:11:35,048 It would appear the boy has no interest 335 00:11:35,091 --> 00:11:36,483 in larceny or vandalism. 336 00:11:36,527 --> 00:11:38,572 And obviously, he's too young for whoring. 337 00:11:38,616 --> 00:11:41,052 So to keep this excursion from being a total waste of time, 338 00:11:41,095 --> 00:11:43,009 I threw him in this dumpster, 339 00:11:43,053 --> 00:11:44,793 and told him he wasn't allowed out 340 00:11:44,836 --> 00:11:46,664 until he'd killed six rats. 341 00:11:46,708 --> 00:11:48,056 Hey, Lazzo, guess what? 342 00:11:48,099 --> 00:11:49,623 - What? - Some dumb idiot 343 00:11:49,666 --> 00:11:51,275 threw out all these Playbills. 344 00:11:51,319 --> 00:11:53,102 This one's from Miss Saigon. 345 00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:55,800 Did you know they used a real helicopter on stage? 346 00:11:55,843 --> 00:11:57,715 But I don't think it could fly. 347 00:11:57,758 --> 00:11:59,846 I think they made it look that way with ropes... 348 00:11:59,890 --> 00:12:01,499 - LASZLO: Shut up. - ...or what have you. 349 00:12:01,543 --> 00:12:02,718 Unbelievable. 350 00:12:02,761 --> 00:12:04,849 So we are clear on placement? 351 00:12:04,893 --> 00:12:08,330 Yes, yes. It should be in the usual place between the legs. 352 00:12:08,373 --> 00:12:10,679 Yes, and not in a separate container 353 00:12:10,723 --> 00:12:12,680 such as a jar or a briefcase. 354 00:12:12,724 --> 00:12:14,160 And not on my chin. 355 00:12:15,552 --> 00:12:18,728 "Not on chin." 356 00:12:18,771 --> 00:12:20,729 Fine. So stipulated. 357 00:12:20,772 --> 00:12:22,208 DJINN: Well, you know, I'm used to the questions 358 00:12:22,252 --> 00:12:23,905 about the penis enlargement 359 00:12:23,948 --> 00:12:25,862 because people want to get it right. 360 00:12:25,906 --> 00:12:29,256 But, uh, I have to say, I've never dealt with two people 361 00:12:29,299 --> 00:12:30,866 that are this detail-oriented. 362 00:12:30,910 --> 00:12:33,215 NANDOR: As far as size goes, 363 00:12:33,259 --> 00:12:35,739 it should not be so big that it crushes me. 364 00:12:35,782 --> 00:12:37,435 What about a mouse? 365 00:12:37,479 --> 00:12:39,480 For a penis? I don't think so, 366 00:12:39,523 --> 00:12:40,829 Djinn, you little trickster. 367 00:12:40,872 --> 00:12:42,525 No, no, I think he means should the new member be 368 00:12:42,569 --> 00:12:44,527 big enough that it could crush a mouse? 369 00:12:44,570 --> 00:12:46,049 That is actually what I meant. 370 00:12:46,093 --> 00:12:47,615 Hmm. 371 00:12:47,659 --> 00:12:49,878 A penis so big it could crush a mouse... 372 00:12:49,922 --> 00:12:52,836 - Yes, don't mind if I do. - DJINN: Okay. 373 00:12:52,879 --> 00:12:54,751 Well, I think we're all squared. 374 00:12:54,794 --> 00:12:56,273 Wait up. One minute. 375 00:12:56,316 --> 00:12:58,535 One second. My client... [CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY] 376 00:12:58,579 --> 00:13:00,711 DJINN: What they are doing, it's correct, but, um... 377 00:13:00,755 --> 00:13:03,234 it's annoying. 378 00:13:03,278 --> 00:13:06,497 [INDISTINCT SHOUTING] 379 00:13:06,540 --> 00:13:08,542 [PIANO REHEARSING] 380 00:13:08,586 --> 00:13:10,325 Jazz. Ugh. 381 00:13:10,369 --> 00:13:13,893 [CLAPS ONCE] Richie Suck, looking good. 382 00:13:13,937 --> 00:13:17,243 - Welcome. - Doctor Tom likes them better. 383 00:13:17,286 --> 00:13:18,679 Will you please go distract 384 00:13:18,722 --> 00:13:20,854 that stupid doctor familiar for a minute? 385 00:13:20,897 --> 00:13:23,725 Excuse me? Jazz. What is jazz? 386 00:13:23,769 --> 00:13:25,552 Richie, baby. 387 00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:27,728 Who is the vampire, and who is the familiar? 388 00:13:27,772 --> 00:13:29,337 - Doctor Tom says... - [SPITS] 389 00:13:29,381 --> 00:13:31,556 Doctor Tom is a familiar. It doesn't matter what he says. 390 00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:34,732 You have let a human man transform you from a wild, 391 00:13:34,776 --> 00:13:37,517 horny, rampaging artist 392 00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:40,344 into a little pussy-bitch who "collaborates"? 393 00:13:40,388 --> 00:13:42,911 What happened to the visionary who wrote 394 00:13:42,955 --> 00:13:45,870 For My Corpsefuckers? 395 00:13:45,913 --> 00:13:47,435 ♪ My bloodsuckers ♪ 396 00:13:47,479 --> 00:13:50,960 ♪ Drain a fourtop at the Fuddruckers ♪ 397 00:13:51,003 --> 00:13:52,743 ♪ Bite necks and write checks ♪ 398 00:13:52,787 --> 00:13:54,745 ♪ Turn into a bat and have flying sex ♪ 399 00:13:54,789 --> 00:13:57,355 ♪ Don't call me Count Dracula, I'll smack you, uh ♪ 400 00:13:57,399 --> 00:13:59,922 ♪ I'm like a Crip disease, I'll attack your blood. ♪ 401 00:13:59,966 --> 00:14:01,880 Man. I really had bars back in the day. 402 00:14:01,923 --> 00:14:03,316 TOM: Hey, uh... 403 00:14:03,359 --> 00:14:04,795 Everything okay over there? 404 00:14:04,838 --> 00:14:05,926 NADJA: Yes, everything is fine, 405 00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:07,100 doctor familiar boy. 406 00:14:07,144 --> 00:14:09,537 Richie, this is your only chance. 407 00:14:09,580 --> 00:14:11,060 Speak your truth. [PURRS] 408 00:14:11,103 --> 00:14:12,756 Take back your life. 409 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:15,323 Now, show me those fangs. 410 00:14:15,366 --> 00:14:16,803 [CHUCKLES] 411 00:14:16,846 --> 00:14:18,281 You got to wear them with pride, baby. 412 00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:19,761 ♪ 413 00:14:19,805 --> 00:14:21,153 Eesh. 414 00:14:21,196 --> 00:14:22,719 Okay, read that back, please. 415 00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:24,068 DJINN: "No substitution 416 00:14:24,111 --> 00:14:27,113 of whale or other species penis..." 417 00:14:27,157 --> 00:14:28,592 - Yes. - DJINN: "Party in possession of new penis... 418 00:14:28,636 --> 00:14:29,941 That's me. 419 00:14:29,985 --> 00:14:32,769 "...should be able to comfortably perform 420 00:14:32,813 --> 00:14:34,204 "physical activities 421 00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:37,903 "such as walking, running, skipping, crossing legs, 422 00:14:37,946 --> 00:14:38,947 - etcetera." - Hmm. 423 00:14:38,991 --> 00:14:39,730 DJINN: "Should not require 424 00:14:39,773 --> 00:14:41,427 purchase of new clothes." 425 00:14:41,470 --> 00:14:42,906 Now, are you sure about that one? 426 00:14:42,949 --> 00:14:44,602 Why do you ask? 427 00:14:44,646 --> 00:14:46,996 Ninety percent of my business is penis enlargements. 428 00:14:47,039 --> 00:14:48,562 - GUILLERMO: That much? Really? - Oh, yeah. 429 00:14:48,605 --> 00:14:51,781 And most clients don't mind buying new clothes 430 00:14:51,825 --> 00:14:53,303 to feature the updated package. 431 00:14:53,347 --> 00:14:54,827 Hmm. 432 00:14:54,870 --> 00:14:57,568 - NANDOR: Fine. Strike it out. - DJINN: Very well. 433 00:14:57,611 --> 00:14:58,785 It has been struck. 434 00:14:58,829 --> 00:15:00,308 - MARWA: Darling? - [SHUSHING] 435 00:15:00,352 --> 00:15:02,222 I'm not doing anything! 436 00:15:02,266 --> 00:15:04,136 Just business stuff. 437 00:15:04,180 --> 00:15:07,704 Okay, I hate to interrupt your business, 438 00:15:07,748 --> 00:15:10,532 but I know you wish to see Richie Suck at the club. 439 00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:11,924 - Yes. - MARWA: Yes. 440 00:15:11,967 --> 00:15:13,752 - Almost done, my morning star. - MARWA: Okay. 441 00:15:13,795 --> 00:15:15,448 - [WHISPERING]: I see you soon. - DJINN: Richie Suck, 442 00:15:15,491 --> 00:15:17,928 - the rap artist? - Mm-hmm. 443 00:15:17,971 --> 00:15:20,233 Oh, my cousin granted his wish to get five mics in The Source. 444 00:15:20,277 --> 00:15:21,800 - Can we wrap this up, please? - DJINN: Okay. 445 00:15:21,844 --> 00:15:23,932 You guys said you wanted to circle back 446 00:15:23,975 --> 00:15:25,933 to some concerns about the balls? 447 00:15:25,976 --> 00:15:27,761 - Yes. - Yes, let's talk balls. 448 00:15:29,065 --> 00:15:31,240 Why are you sad, Lazzo? 449 00:15:31,284 --> 00:15:33,981 I'm not sad, my boy. I'm just reflective. 450 00:15:34,025 --> 00:15:36,374 When I was your age, I loved only two things: 451 00:15:36,417 --> 00:15:37,941 my nanny and my piano. 452 00:15:37,984 --> 00:15:40,159 And my father took them both. 453 00:15:40,203 --> 00:15:41,856 Then he sent me off to boarding school 454 00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:43,335 - to give me polish. - Okay. 455 00:15:43,379 --> 00:15:44,988 It wasn't such a waste of time. 456 00:15:45,032 --> 00:15:46,163 I learned how to cheat at cards, 457 00:15:46,207 --> 00:15:47,816 hit the other fellow before he hit me. 458 00:15:47,860 --> 00:15:50,601 I also learned not to trust my father 459 00:15:50,644 --> 00:15:52,645 or anyone else, for that matter. 460 00:15:52,689 --> 00:15:54,342 And that took centuries with my Nadja 461 00:15:54,386 --> 00:15:55,908 - to unravel. - Okay. 462 00:15:55,952 --> 00:16:00,955 What I'm trying to say is... I think Gizmo was right. 463 00:16:00,998 --> 00:16:04,131 I think you're going to be incredibly boring. 464 00:16:04,174 --> 00:16:07,568 The type of chap who goes to see revival of Auntie Mame 465 00:16:07,612 --> 00:16:08,960 and writes about it in his diary. 466 00:16:09,003 --> 00:16:10,439 But I don't hold that against you. 467 00:16:10,483 --> 00:16:11,788 You're a better man than I am. 468 00:16:13,267 --> 00:16:15,878 You were raised to be charming, not sincere. 469 00:16:15,921 --> 00:16:17,618 Really? Well, that's nicely put. 470 00:16:17,661 --> 00:16:19,184 You're full of surprises. 471 00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:21,185 That's from Into the Woods by Stephen Sondheim. 472 00:16:21,229 --> 00:16:22,664 - Right. - I was thinking about it 473 00:16:22,708 --> 00:16:25,448 because I want to turn my Ewok Village Lego set 474 00:16:25,492 --> 00:16:27,276 into the Giant's tree... 475 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,190 Do you? Really? Now, why don't we fuck that off 476 00:16:29,234 --> 00:16:31,452 - and go and see Richie Suck. - Okay. 477 00:16:31,496 --> 00:16:32,889 ♪ 478 00:16:32,932 --> 00:16:34,977 Okay, balls in proportion... 479 00:16:35,020 --> 00:16:36,934 Note the changes... 480 00:16:38,022 --> 00:16:40,981 Very well, Master, your wish... 481 00:16:41,024 --> 00:16:42,982 Wait. You can't give him the world's largest penis 482 00:16:43,025 --> 00:16:45,026 by making everyone else's smaller. 483 00:16:45,070 --> 00:16:47,680 Oh, very good catch, Guillermo. 484 00:16:47,724 --> 00:16:49,855 [SPUTTERS] Shit. 485 00:16:49,899 --> 00:16:51,030 I mean, well done, familiar. 486 00:16:51,074 --> 00:16:53,162 I was moments away from giving 487 00:16:53,205 --> 00:16:56,991 every man in the world but Nandor a micro wang. 488 00:16:57,034 --> 00:16:58,774 NANDOR: Why would you do such a thing? 489 00:16:58,818 --> 00:17:00,080 It's just part of the job, I guess. 490 00:17:00,123 --> 00:17:03,864 I teach lessons about greed, desires, etcetera, 491 00:17:03,908 --> 00:17:07,040 by fucking with the wishes of my so-called masters. 492 00:17:07,084 --> 00:17:09,041 But you two have bested me. 493 00:17:09,085 --> 00:17:12,609 Your familiar has a very shrewd and incisive mind 494 00:17:12,653 --> 00:17:15,176 - when it comes to the penis stuff. - Thank you. 495 00:17:15,219 --> 00:17:17,525 Or you could've just said "thank you" to me. 496 00:17:17,568 --> 00:17:19,658 [SIGHS] Always so needy. 497 00:17:19,701 --> 00:17:22,398 Thank you, Guillermo, I appreciate all your help. 498 00:17:22,442 --> 00:17:25,399 And every time I use my new big dick, 499 00:17:25,443 --> 00:17:27,706 I will think of you and all you've done for me. 500 00:17:27,750 --> 00:17:29,098 Ah, this is your wish? 501 00:17:29,141 --> 00:17:31,447 - This is my wish. - This is his wish. 502 00:17:31,490 --> 00:17:32,883 Wish granted! 503 00:17:36,232 --> 00:17:37,625 Excuse me for a moment. 504 00:17:37,669 --> 00:17:39,017 - GUILLERMO: Yes. - DJINN: Yeah, go ahead. 505 00:17:39,060 --> 00:17:41,714 Would you care for some Yoo-hoo? 506 00:17:41,758 --> 00:17:42,715 No, thank you. 507 00:17:42,759 --> 00:17:44,629 [CREAKING] 508 00:17:44,673 --> 00:17:45,891 NANDOR: Oh, wow. 509 00:17:45,935 --> 00:17:47,892 That'll do, pig. 510 00:17:47,936 --> 00:17:50,024 Guillermo, come check out the size of this unit. 511 00:17:50,067 --> 00:17:51,895 [CHUCKLING]: I'm good. 512 00:17:51,939 --> 00:17:54,244 It's only about 20 percent bigger than what you had. 513 00:17:54,288 --> 00:17:55,897 I'll be damned. 514 00:17:55,941 --> 00:17:58,420 DJINN: I was surprised you wanted more, but, uh... 515 00:17:58,464 --> 00:18:00,640 Yeah, it turned out beautifully if I do say so myself. 516 00:18:00,684 --> 00:18:02,554 Guillermo, are you sure you don't want a little peek? 517 00:18:02,597 --> 00:18:05,034 No, I have to get down to the club. 518 00:18:05,077 --> 00:18:06,904 Oh, okay. Please tell Marwa 519 00:18:06,948 --> 00:18:09,210 that I wish to see her in the bedroom. 520 00:18:09,253 --> 00:18:10,254 Okay. 521 00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:12,908 - Great work. - Thanks. 522 00:18:12,952 --> 00:18:14,257 - Yes. - Yeah. 523 00:18:15,954 --> 00:18:17,563 - [JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING] - [INDISTINCT CHATTERING] 524 00:18:19,086 --> 00:18:20,913 - [HISSING] - Hey! Where's Richie? 525 00:18:20,957 --> 00:18:22,958 [SNAPPING FINGERS] 526 00:18:23,001 --> 00:18:25,090 - [BOOING] - [GLASS SHATTERING] 527 00:18:25,134 --> 00:18:28,962 [CHANTING]: Richie Suck. Richie Suck. 528 00:18:29,005 --> 00:18:30,441 Richie Suck. 529 00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:32,921 - Richie Suck. Richie Suck. - All right. Hi. 530 00:18:32,965 --> 00:18:34,530 - Sorry, guys. - Richie Suck. 531 00:18:34,574 --> 00:18:36,054 - All right, hold it down. - Richie Suck. 532 00:18:36,097 --> 00:18:38,708 Be patient. You look beau... You don't know jazz 533 00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:39,925 - if you haven't heard it yet, right? - Richie Suck. 534 00:18:39,969 --> 00:18:43,711 Hey, how's the, uh... how's the home? 535 00:18:43,754 --> 00:18:45,102 Fine. 536 00:18:45,146 --> 00:18:46,756 It's perfectly normal. 537 00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:48,757 Happens to every guys. 538 00:18:48,801 --> 00:18:50,062 - Can you sh...? - We are still getting reacquainted. 539 00:18:50,105 --> 00:18:51,759 Don't say it here. 540 00:18:51,803 --> 00:18:53,151 - Is everything okay? - No. 541 00:18:53,194 --> 00:18:55,022 The djinn tricked me into saying that every time 542 00:18:55,066 --> 00:18:57,371 I used my new big dick, I will think of you. 543 00:18:57,415 --> 00:18:59,068 - Richie Suck. Richie Suck. - He got us. 544 00:18:59,111 --> 00:19:00,112 He did. 545 00:19:00,156 --> 00:19:03,461 - Eesh. - All right. It's not eesh. 546 00:19:03,505 --> 00:19:05,159 How is everybody doing tonight? 547 00:19:05,202 --> 00:19:07,290 - [MIXER SCRATCHING] - [CROWD WHOOPING] 548 00:19:07,334 --> 00:19:08,900 Is everybody ready to have a good time, 549 00:19:08,943 --> 00:19:09,988 maybe slightly unpredictable 550 00:19:10,031 --> 00:19:12,119 because it's live, but still good? 551 00:19:12,163 --> 00:19:13,599 - [CHEERING] - [MIXER SCRATCHING] 552 00:19:13,642 --> 00:19:14,904 [WHOOPING] 553 00:19:14,947 --> 00:19:17,906 Well, then, let's welcome a true artist 554 00:19:17,949 --> 00:19:20,081 who doesn't give two wet shits what you think. 555 00:19:20,124 --> 00:19:22,170 Let's get loud for Richie Suck! 556 00:19:22,213 --> 00:19:25,128 [CHEERING, WHOOPING] 557 00:19:25,172 --> 00:19:27,695 Remember, be yourself. Free yourself. 558 00:19:27,739 --> 00:19:29,609 - ♪ Wild in here right now ♪ - [CHEERING] 559 00:19:29,652 --> 00:19:32,959 ♪ Yeah, we go wild in here right now ♪ 560 00:19:33,003 --> 00:19:35,482 ♪ Yeah, we go wild in here right now ♪ 561 00:19:35,526 --> 00:19:37,919 ♪ Yeah, we've gone wild in here right now ♪ 562 00:19:39,615 --> 00:19:40,964 [STOPS MUSIC] 563 00:19:41,008 --> 00:19:42,704 RICHIE: Thank you all for coming out. 564 00:19:42,748 --> 00:19:46,707 I've been away for a while, and it's been a journey. 565 00:19:46,751 --> 00:19:49,795 Uh, so before I start the show, I want to bring out a man 566 00:19:49,839 --> 00:19:51,492 who's been a really important part of that. 567 00:19:51,536 --> 00:19:54,581 My familiar, Dr. Tom Schmidt. 568 00:19:54,625 --> 00:19:56,974 GUILLERMO: [WHOOPS] Familiars! 569 00:19:57,018 --> 00:19:58,888 Thank you, Richie. First of all... 570 00:19:58,932 --> 00:20:01,020 So me and Tom decided that I need to be more authentic, 571 00:20:01,063 --> 00:20:03,109 so we collaborated on a bunch of new songs 572 00:20:03,152 --> 00:20:06,371 for me to do with the Jazzmen 3 over here. 573 00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:07,938 [BOOING] 574 00:20:07,981 --> 00:20:09,808 RICHIE: But guess what? 575 00:20:09,852 --> 00:20:11,635 I'm not going to do them! 576 00:20:11,678 --> 00:20:14,159 - [CHEERING] - NADJA: The right decision. 577 00:20:14,203 --> 00:20:16,291 - Master, listen. - No, man. 578 00:20:16,334 --> 00:20:18,727 I'm done listening to you. Forever! 579 00:20:18,771 --> 00:20:20,075 No, Master, no! Ahh! 580 00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:21,555 - [HISSING] - RICHIE: Eat that bitch. 581 00:20:21,598 --> 00:20:22,947 Eat that bitch. 582 00:20:22,990 --> 00:20:26,601 Eat bitch. Eat that bitch. Eat that bitch. 583 00:20:26,645 --> 00:20:27,820 Eat the bitch! 584 00:20:27,864 --> 00:20:29,125 RICHIE: Now, now, now, 585 00:20:29,168 --> 00:20:30,995 how many of you want to hear me do my thing? 586 00:20:31,039 --> 00:20:33,910 Who want to hear me do my truth? 587 00:20:33,954 --> 00:20:35,303 - [CHEERING] - NADJA: Yes, please, Richie. 588 00:20:35,346 --> 00:20:37,391 Who wants to hear some new shit from Richie Suck 589 00:20:37,434 --> 00:20:39,174 that they ain't never heard before? 590 00:20:39,218 --> 00:20:41,959 - [WHOOPING] - Go, Richie! 591 00:20:42,002 --> 00:20:44,351 Who want to hear me do some observational comedy? 592 00:20:44,395 --> 00:20:46,136 What the fuck? 593 00:20:48,398 --> 00:20:51,008 Like, have you ever been flying around as a bat... 594 00:20:51,052 --> 00:20:53,096 [CHUCKLES] ...and you get hit by a drone 595 00:20:53,140 --> 00:20:56,229 and you be like, "Damn, the robots coming for us?" 596 00:20:56,272 --> 00:20:58,186 [LAUGHING] 597 00:20:58,230 --> 00:21:00,753 VAMPIRE: Hey, do Throat Juice. 598 00:21:00,797 --> 00:21:01,972 RICHIE: You know what... what is really cool 599 00:21:02,015 --> 00:21:03,190 about being a vampire, though? 600 00:21:03,234 --> 00:21:05,017 You ain't never got to do no dishes. 601 00:21:05,061 --> 00:21:06,278 - VAMPIRE: Bring back the jazz. - [HISSING] 602 00:21:06,322 --> 00:21:07,976 Never, no dishes. It's all skin and bone. 603 00:21:08,019 --> 00:21:09,846 - You know? - [HISSING, COMPLAINING] 604 00:21:09,890 --> 00:21:10,934 But seriously, though, grandmamas 605 00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:12,456 be saying some stupid shit. 606 00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:15,458 Oh, Richie Suck, courageously working without a net. 607 00:21:15,502 --> 00:21:17,111 Don't throw shit at my wife, you fuck. 608 00:21:17,155 --> 00:21:19,983 It makes the live experience more irreplaceable and fun... 609 00:21:20,026 --> 00:21:22,028 Hey! Show's over. 610 00:21:22,072 --> 00:21:24,073 [NADJA GASPS, YELPS] 611 00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:26,161 RICHIE: Hey, what the... Get the fuck off me. 612 00:21:26,204 --> 00:21:27,205 - NANDOR: Out of my way. - NADJA: Laszlo! 613 00:21:27,249 --> 00:21:28,815 Hang on! I've-I've lost the boy. 614 00:21:28,858 --> 00:21:30,033 Laszlo, get your... 615 00:21:30,077 --> 00:21:31,207 get out your hands and help your wife. 616 00:21:31,251 --> 00:21:33,035 I'm trying. This men are too horny. 617 00:21:33,079 --> 00:21:35,471 ♪ If you want to ring the bell not once but twice ♪ 618 00:21:35,515 --> 00:21:37,255 - What the f... What? - Huh? 619 00:21:37,298 --> 00:21:41,171 ♪ If you want to roll and roll those lucky dice ♪ 620 00:21:41,214 --> 00:21:43,346 ♪ If you want to spend your journey's end ♪ 621 00:21:43,389 --> 00:21:46,000 ♪ With sweet music and love ♪ 622 00:21:46,043 --> 00:21:50,176 ♪ If you want to rid this world of men and Mickey Mice ♪ 623 00:21:50,219 --> 00:21:52,178 - [BAND PLAYING ALONG] - ♪ Take my advice... ♪ 624 00:21:52,221 --> 00:21:54,309 From the 1936 movie musical Born to Dance. 625 00:21:55,744 --> 00:21:57,876 - ♪ When you sit down, one day ♪ - Don't fuck it up, boy. 626 00:21:57,920 --> 00:21:59,617 ♪ Look over yourself and say ♪ 627 00:21:59,660 --> 00:22:00,878 ♪ "You're very good" ♪ 628 00:22:00,922 --> 00:22:02,401 He can really move. 629 00:22:02,445 --> 00:22:04,707 ♪ Rap tap on wood ♪ 630 00:22:04,750 --> 00:22:06,055 Score by Cole Porter, 631 00:22:06,099 --> 00:22:08,101 sung by the late, great Eleanor Powell. 632 00:22:08,144 --> 00:22:10,972 It's so disgusting, I love it. 633 00:22:11,016 --> 00:22:12,016 NADJA: Vampires have 634 00:22:12,059 --> 00:22:13,713 always loved child novelty acts. 635 00:22:13,756 --> 00:22:15,409 I mean, who knows why. 636 00:22:15,453 --> 00:22:17,976 Some say they are transfixed by the youth 637 00:22:18,020 --> 00:22:20,891 and innocence they themselves lost long ago. 638 00:22:20,935 --> 00:22:23,023 Others just love how creepy 639 00:22:23,066 --> 00:22:25,111 and exploitative it is. 640 00:22:25,154 --> 00:22:26,808 But I don't care, anyway, 641 00:22:26,852 --> 00:22:29,462 because the most important thing is that Baby Colin Robinson 642 00:22:29,505 --> 00:22:31,506 is going to keep my club in business. 643 00:22:31,550 --> 00:22:33,899 LASZLO: I was worried the kid was a dud. 644 00:22:33,943 --> 00:22:36,292 Turns out he's got the groove. 645 00:22:36,335 --> 00:22:37,859 ♪ Rap tap on wood. ♪ 646 00:22:37,902 --> 00:22:40,164 - [CHEERING] - LASZLO: Fantastic. 647 00:22:40,208 --> 00:22:42,731 NANDOR: Bravo, Baby Colin Robinson. 648 00:22:42,774 --> 00:22:45,515 Any more kids, welcome to Nadja's. 649 00:22:45,559 --> 00:22:49,518 ♪ Mystical magical musical madness ♪ 650 00:22:49,562 --> 00:22:53,825 ♪ Take it and make it a part of your day ♪ 651 00:22:53,869 --> 00:22:58,393 ♪ Musical themes of wishes and dreams ♪ 652 00:22:58,436 --> 00:23:03,875 ♪ Love songs anew just written for you ♪ 653 00:23:03,918 --> 00:23:07,921 ♪ Mystical magical musical madness ♪ 654 00:23:07,965 --> 00:23:12,054 ♪ Filled with the sounds that wipe sadness away ♪ 655 00:23:12,097 --> 00:23:16,622 ♪ We bring a happy message of love ♪ 656 00:23:16,666 --> 00:23:20,537 ♪ Keep it and take it home with ♪ 657 00:23:20,581 --> 00:23:25,192 ♪ We bring a happy message of love ♪ 658 00:23:25,236 --> 00:23:29,065 ♪ Keep it and take it home ♪ 659 00:23:29,108 --> 00:23:30,109 ♪ With you. ♪