1 00:00:04,910 --> 00:00:05,910 Dad? Hey. 2 00:00:06,310 --> 00:00:07,410 What are you doing down here? 3 00:00:08,370 --> 00:00:10,590 Oh, I was on the chair last night. 4 00:00:10,830 --> 00:00:11,990 You and Mom had a fight? 5 00:00:12,450 --> 00:00:14,390 Were you being emotionally distant again? 6 00:00:17,210 --> 00:00:18,430 What does that mean anyway? 7 00:00:19,790 --> 00:00:23,310 It means that I'm not fascinated by every little detail of your mother's 8 00:00:24,170 --> 00:00:26,710 That muffin only has seven carbs? Wow! 9 00:00:29,070 --> 00:00:32,790 The trick is to say wow. It's like a magic little word that makes it seem 10 00:00:32,790 --> 00:00:33,790 you're interested. 11 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:38,820 You know, it seems no matter how many times I do laundry, the basket's always 12 00:00:38,820 --> 00:00:40,300 full. Wow! 13 00:00:44,860 --> 00:00:46,440 Did you teach your son to wow me? 14 00:00:48,460 --> 00:00:50,600 You know about the wow? I have for 11 years. 15 00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:53,220 Wow. 16 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:55,640 That one was real. 17 00:00:57,540 --> 00:00:59,580 I didn't hear you come to bed last night. 18 00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:03,000 I had to keep an eye on Carmen and Jason. I fell asleep down here. 19 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:07,120 You know it's hard for you having Jason live with us, but you can't sleep on 20 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:08,860 that chair for the next five weeks. 21 00:01:09,100 --> 00:01:11,380 Look, I don't know how you can sleep at all as you know that Carmen's 22 00:01:11,380 --> 00:01:14,760 boyfriend's in the house. Honey, it's fine. He's on the couch. She's in her 23 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:15,760 room. 24 00:01:16,100 --> 00:01:17,700 That means they're only 20 feet apart. 25 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:22,800 Think about it, Angie. He's over six feet tall. He does three cartwheels. 26 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:23,800 there. 27 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:27,140 He fixed the landing. We're grandparents. 28 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:35,270 You're being... ridiculous nothing's gonna happen you're damn right nothing's 29 00:01:35,270 --> 00:01:39,550 gonna happen because he's got to get past me to get to her bedroom and 30 00:01:39,550 --> 00:01:46,290 gets past me not even a fly there's 31 00:01:46,290 --> 00:01:53,250 nothing in your hand i'm so fast i already released it well 32 00:01:53,250 --> 00:01:58,090 can't jason just use the other stairs in the living room i'd like to see him try 33 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:01,080 Remember that electric shock pad we bought to keep the dog off the couch? 34 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:02,600 It's on the third step. 35 00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:06,380 Oh, crap! 36 00:02:08,820 --> 00:02:10,919 Don't you think you should have warned your son? 37 00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:12,500 I did. 38 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:14,920 You said it was the third step! 39 00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:16,940 From the bottom! 40 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:19,660 Oh, got it. 41 00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:25,300 Morning. How'd you sleep, Jason? 42 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:26,560 Not so good. 43 00:02:26,990 --> 00:02:30,630 I kept having this dream that someone was standing over me saying, give me a 44 00:02:30,630 --> 00:02:31,630 reason, Vato. 45 00:02:37,170 --> 00:02:38,170 Vato's curious. 46 00:02:38,730 --> 00:02:41,210 He's very curious. Sounds like some sort of ethnic term, huh? 47 00:02:45,450 --> 00:02:46,450 Man. 48 00:02:46,930 --> 00:02:48,330 Oh, did I miss breakfast? 49 00:02:48,830 --> 00:02:50,790 I just rolled out of bed and came down. 50 00:02:52,450 --> 00:02:54,390 Jason, I forgot you were still... 51 00:03:00,460 --> 00:03:03,160 girl we see every morning with the eye boogers and the nasty breath. 52 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:06,640 No one talk to me till I have my waffles. 53 00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:10,300 I think you look great, Carmen. 54 00:03:10,620 --> 00:03:11,780 Oh, thank you. 55 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:16,420 I've never seen you in the morning. You look so cute with that hat. 56 00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:19,360 No, I like it all messed up. 57 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,660 Yeah, how would you like it all matted with blood, también? George. 58 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:29,360 Well, they're all over each other. What I lit? Red Shoes Diary. 59 00:03:29,770 --> 00:03:30,770 Cover yourself. 60 00:03:32,610 --> 00:03:35,990 Look, if you guys are going to live in this house, there's going to be some 61 00:03:35,990 --> 00:03:39,370 rules. First of all, you're both grounded for lying to us about that 62 00:03:39,370 --> 00:03:42,910 Jason's house last night. So we decided for the next two weeks, there'll be no 63 00:03:42,910 --> 00:03:45,270 going out, no TV, no phone. 64 00:03:45,870 --> 00:03:47,610 Two weeks stuck in the house together? 65 00:03:48,570 --> 00:03:49,990 I guess that sounds fair. 66 00:03:51,670 --> 00:03:55,490 And while you're in the house, there'll be no kissing, no touching. 67 00:03:56,599 --> 00:03:59,200 And undergarments are to be worn at all times. 68 00:03:59,900 --> 00:04:02,320 Let me put this in a term you may understand, schoolboy. 69 00:04:03,580 --> 00:04:06,140 I see you're part of simple dangling. You're a dead man. 70 00:04:10,020 --> 00:04:11,020 Starting to win. 71 00:04:12,940 --> 00:04:13,879 Dad, relax. 72 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:14,900 We're not going to do anything. 73 00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:19,019 Yeah. It's so cool of you to take me in for the rest of baseball season. I mean, 74 00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:20,820 I would never take advantage of that. 75 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:23,420 That's right. You have nothing to worry about. We're going to be adults about 76 00:04:23,420 --> 00:04:24,420 this. 77 00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:28,360 Now that we're all on the same page, I need to get dressed, and you need to get 78 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:29,520 in the shower before work. 79 00:06:06,860 --> 00:06:07,759 Jason, let's see the heat. 80 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:11,780 Bring the heat. Yeah, if you got any heat, you probably got a big old noodle 81 00:06:11,780 --> 00:06:12,780 an arm. 82 00:06:13,740 --> 00:06:14,740 Man, 83 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:18,380 that was 90 miles an hour. 84 00:06:19,100 --> 00:06:21,000 Hey, Ernie, throw it back to Jason as hard as you can. 85 00:06:22,820 --> 00:06:25,460 What was that? 86 00:06:26,380 --> 00:06:27,380 22. 87 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:31,400 That thing's broken, man. Yeah, you're right. You know, throw it again. I'll 88 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:33,200 a better measurement if I can run alongside the ball. 89 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,229 The Dodger game is starting. 90 00:06:38,230 --> 00:06:40,410 Oh, come on, Jason. The Dodgers are playing the Astros. I want you to do 91 00:06:40,410 --> 00:06:41,410 Clemens' pitch. 92 00:06:41,510 --> 00:06:45,430 My boy, growing up in Cuba, I've seen a lot of good ballplayers. 93 00:06:45,870 --> 00:06:48,390 And you remind me of Lucho Brasodeoro Rodriguez. 94 00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:51,470 Best pitcher I ever saw. 95 00:06:52,130 --> 00:06:55,030 Ah, he dreamed of coming to America and playing for the Yankees. 96 00:06:55,770 --> 00:06:57,330 Did he ever make it? No. 97 00:06:57,910 --> 00:07:02,210 He tried to swim for freedom, but his right arm was so much stronger than his 98 00:07:02,210 --> 00:07:06,290 left, he ended up doing circles around the island until they arrested him. 99 00:07:14,670 --> 00:07:15,670 have no night. 100 00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:20,250 My soul is a smiley -faced helium balloon. 101 00:07:21,970 --> 00:07:24,510 I think it's the best poem I've ever written. 102 00:07:24,730 --> 00:07:25,930 What do you think, Kenzie? 103 00:07:28,190 --> 00:07:34,910 I think if I randomly ate those words and puked them onto the 104 00:07:34,910 --> 00:07:36,490 page, it'd be a much better poem. 105 00:07:43,180 --> 00:07:45,780 the poetry club if you don't look within. 106 00:07:46,100 --> 00:07:50,180 I mean, you have to find your most personal wound and rip the scab off. 107 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:53,880 Let your blood be your ink. 108 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:57,980 But I'm in love. I mean, my boyfriend's in the house. 109 00:07:58,500 --> 00:08:00,740 Things are pretty good right now. No, they're not. 110 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:02,080 You're Mexican. 111 00:08:14,250 --> 00:08:15,770 What are you talking about? She was born in Burbank. 112 00:08:19,010 --> 00:08:21,330 She's got her own car and a closet full of clothes. 113 00:08:21,670 --> 00:08:24,250 You want to see a Mexican suffering, come back, we'll have to pay her cell 114 00:08:24,250 --> 00:08:25,250 bill. 115 00:08:27,710 --> 00:08:28,710 What are you doing? 116 00:08:29,190 --> 00:08:32,429 Watching the Dodger game. So why don't you guys go explore your dark souls in 117 00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:33,429 the kitchen? 118 00:08:34,409 --> 00:08:36,610 Look, you said we're not allowed to watch TV. 119 00:08:37,110 --> 00:08:39,350 Well, this is different than Jason's baseball career. 120 00:08:39,630 --> 00:08:42,610 Well, what if there was something about poetry on TV and I wanted to watch it? 121 00:08:43,070 --> 00:08:46,170 We watch something about poetry on TV every year. It's called The Grinstow 122 00:08:46,170 --> 00:08:47,170 Christmas. 123 00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:48,570 What? 124 00:08:48,930 --> 00:08:49,930 It rhymes. 125 00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:52,450 Yeah, I like the dog with the antlers. I know, it's classic. 126 00:08:53,090 --> 00:08:54,550 Why don't you guys go write something like that? 127 00:08:56,670 --> 00:08:58,350 Come on, let's go finish this in the kitchen. 128 00:08:59,130 --> 00:09:01,170 You know what? I'm kind of hungry. Do I have time to go make you some 129 00:09:01,170 --> 00:09:03,430 sandwiches? No, no, I want you to fill up Clem's pictures around this theater. 130 00:09:03,570 --> 00:09:05,710 Hey, Carmen, while you're in there, could you make us a couple of 131 00:09:05,770 --> 00:09:07,410 please? What do you want on them? 132 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:15,320 You're just going to wait on them like that? 133 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:18,320 You know they're only asking you because you're a girl. 134 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:20,560 That is so sexist. 135 00:09:21,900 --> 00:09:24,240 You know what's funny, Kenzie? 136 00:09:29,580 --> 00:09:36,500 I asked Carmen to do something and, like, sound comes out of your mouth. 137 00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:37,560 You're like... 138 00:09:46,220 --> 00:09:47,660 I can, like, hear it rattle. 139 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:53,640 Fancy's right. It is sexist. 140 00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:56,620 Make your own sandwich. I've got a poem to write. Oh, wait, wait, wait. I'll 141 00:09:56,620 --> 00:09:57,780 write the poem for you. Let me help you. 142 00:09:58,700 --> 00:10:01,220 Carmen, please, don't make me beg. 143 00:10:01,820 --> 00:10:03,760 What I'd like is some chorizo and egg. 144 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:10,500 You know what, Mr. Lopez? 145 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:12,280 Our poems don't rhyme. 146 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:16,410 Because rhyme schemes are chains of... Bondage on free thought. 147 00:10:16,970 --> 00:10:18,510 Chains invented by men. 148 00:10:19,110 --> 00:10:20,110 Huh. 149 00:10:21,050 --> 00:10:23,650 You know, Kenzie, I'm betting you got a forest under there, don't you? 150 00:10:25,810 --> 00:10:26,810 Dad! 151 00:10:27,810 --> 00:10:28,749 What's going on? 152 00:10:28,750 --> 00:10:30,450 Oh, Carmen's making sandwiches. You want one? 153 00:10:35,050 --> 00:10:36,050 Take that! 154 00:10:40,370 --> 00:10:41,870 Hey, don't you have to get to the batting cages? 155 00:10:42,230 --> 00:10:44,390 Yeah. I better get going. Hey. 156 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:47,280 allowed to. We're both grounded. 157 00:10:47,540 --> 00:10:48,980 Dad, I'm missing my poetry slam. 158 00:10:49,260 --> 00:10:51,800 I told you before, Carmen, this is different, okay? This is about his 159 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:54,440 career. No, it's not different. It's because I'm a girl. 160 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:55,760 Mom! 161 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:57,540 Call her again. That'll scare me. 162 00:10:57,780 --> 00:10:58,780 Mom! 163 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:00,940 Stop and go, man. Go. Go, go, go, go. 164 00:11:02,420 --> 00:11:05,580 Mom, Dad's letting Jason go to the batting cages and he won't let me go to 165 00:11:05,580 --> 00:11:06,580 poetry slam. 166 00:11:06,980 --> 00:11:08,620 We agreed they were both grounded. 167 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:11,060 Look, Angie, Jason's got a chance to go pro, okay? 168 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:13,980 He's got scouts that are going to come and see him. His whole future depends on 169 00:11:13,980 --> 00:11:16,420 how prepared he is. But poetry could be my future. 170 00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:18,920 Look, Carmen, poetry's not a career. 171 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:23,380 No one ever got a million dollar signing bonus for rhyming bingo and namo. 172 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:30,140 So, baseball's more important than poetry just because you can make money 173 00:11:30,260 --> 00:11:31,340 Bingo, namo! 174 00:11:32,700 --> 00:11:37,060 Well, poetry is my passion, and I'm gonna major in it at college, so get 175 00:11:37,060 --> 00:11:38,039 it. 176 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:39,040 At college. 177 00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:40,360 Yeah, right. 178 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:42,100 What, I'm going to college. 179 00:11:42,340 --> 00:11:46,670 Really? So I guess all those Ds on your report card stood for c -c -c -college. 180 00:11:47,670 --> 00:11:49,430 And that D stood for damn. 181 00:11:49,690 --> 00:11:50,690 I was almost a C. 182 00:11:52,210 --> 00:11:55,130 Dad, I was going through stuff, but I'm trying harder now. 183 00:11:55,470 --> 00:11:58,270 George, she did take her college aptitude test. 184 00:11:58,570 --> 00:12:00,470 The only reason she took it, Angie, because you made her. 185 00:12:00,890 --> 00:12:01,970 The karma's not motivated. 186 00:12:02,190 --> 00:12:05,110 All she cares about is Jason, her hair, and her clothes. 187 00:12:05,610 --> 00:12:08,390 Even when you homeschooled her, she was late to class because she said there was 188 00:12:08,390 --> 00:12:09,390 traffic on the stairs. 189 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:14,320 Wait a second. 190 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,700 This isn't about poetry or me being a girl. 191 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:21,680 This is about what Dad thinks of me. 192 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:25,680 Carmen, your father loves you, and he wants what's best for you. 193 00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:29,480 Dad, do you believe I could make it in college? 194 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:37,420 What do you think I'm supposed to do with my life? 195 00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:40,120 Carmen, I just think you need to be realistic. 196 00:12:47,020 --> 00:12:49,400 Look, I never thought about you going to college, Carmen, because you never 197 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:50,400 showed me any potential. 198 00:12:57,800 --> 00:12:59,180 Carmen, he didn't mean it. 199 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:02,120 How could you? 200 00:13:02,540 --> 00:13:05,540 Look, Angie, I know we're going to have a big fight, all right, but let me tell 201 00:13:05,540 --> 00:13:06,459 you this. 202 00:13:06,460 --> 00:13:09,240 I didn't sleep very good last night, and what I could use right now really is a 203 00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:10,240 power nap. 204 00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:16,220 Because if you defeat a tired George, really, what have you won? 205 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:21,520 Tell our daughter she doesn't have any potential. 206 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:24,380 Come on, Angie. Look, Carmen's never been a great student, all right? She's 207 00:13:24,380 --> 00:13:27,520 never come to me and said, Dad, I want to be a teacher or an accountant or a 208 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:31,180 doctor. I mean, she's never pursued anything that wasn't six foot four and 209 00:13:31,180 --> 00:13:33,560 jeans that made his butt look so hot. 210 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:40,260 Well, she's pursuing poetry now, and if that's got her excited about college, 211 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:44,320 then we should support her. Come on, Angie. Carmen's not college material, 212 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:45,720 She needs to wake up and smell the coffee. 213 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:49,520 Then, probably pour it for a trucker and tell him about the specials. 214 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:52,980 What are 215 00:13:52,980 --> 00:13:58,900 you doing? 216 00:13:59,180 --> 00:14:05,060 Oh, see, I am taking my losing lotto scratchers, painting over them with this 217 00:14:05,060 --> 00:14:08,260 silver nail polish, and then I'm selling them to the neighborhood kids. 218 00:14:10,660 --> 00:14:13,620 I took a lose -lose, turned it into a win -win. 219 00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:16,640 Good, then you can go to hell hell. 220 00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,220 Why don't you worry about your own problems? 221 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,200 What's the princess mad about this time? 222 00:14:23,820 --> 00:14:26,420 Forget to put the seat down and she dunked her donut? 223 00:14:29,500 --> 00:14:32,000 I'm not worried about Carmen going to college. 224 00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:33,280 Oh, college. 225 00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:36,360 That's just a place to get drunk and sleep with strangers. 226 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:40,360 So your bedroom's a university, huh? 227 00:14:43,390 --> 00:14:44,530 What's the name of it? UCLA? 228 00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:48,470 Hey, you know what? 229 00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:53,690 All I'm saying, George, is rich people are the only ones who can afford to go 230 00:14:53,690 --> 00:14:55,570 college and screw around for four years. 231 00:14:55,950 --> 00:14:57,370 People like us have to work. 232 00:14:58,090 --> 00:15:00,630 Tell me about it. That's what I've been trying to tell her, but she's 16. She 233 00:15:00,630 --> 00:15:03,470 don't get it yet. Oh, well, neither did you when you were her age. 234 00:15:03,690 --> 00:15:06,470 You had this stupid dream of being a rock star. 235 00:15:09,090 --> 00:15:10,090 I had a shot. 236 00:15:11,030 --> 00:15:12,410 You knew three chords. 237 00:15:13,150 --> 00:15:16,250 And your voice sounded like a cat with its webbles in a vice. 238 00:15:18,810 --> 00:15:21,410 It only sounded like that on that one song, Mexicat. 239 00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:30,110 I think we both knew you were going to end 240 00:15:30,110 --> 00:15:31,110 up at the factory. 241 00:15:31,970 --> 00:15:34,090 Well, I didn't know I was going to end up in the factory. I could have got 242 00:15:34,090 --> 00:15:35,090 jobs. 243 00:15:35,330 --> 00:15:37,790 What about that time I was going to go to that place, but I didn't go because I 244 00:15:37,790 --> 00:15:38,830 didn't think the guy was going to be there. 245 00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:45,120 You walked out of Star Wars. 246 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:47,820 There were too many words at the beginning. 247 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:55,440 Mommy, mommy, you fooled me. That was a moving book. 248 00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:04,180 You see, that's the kind of stuff you did to me when I was a kid. You always 249 00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:05,760 made fun of me. You never encouraged me. 250 00:16:06,540 --> 00:16:09,660 George, what was I supposed to do? You weren't a good student. 251 00:16:10,020 --> 00:16:12,120 I mean, you never came to me and said... 252 00:16:12,590 --> 00:16:14,990 I want to be a bookie or I want to run a liquor store. 253 00:16:16,650 --> 00:16:20,850 You know, something that showed me you were serious about your future. 254 00:16:22,290 --> 00:16:23,750 That's because you never pushed me. 255 00:16:23,970 --> 00:16:27,910 So I never reached my potential. 256 00:16:29,430 --> 00:16:31,690 That's right, George. Big word. Sound it out. 257 00:16:36,890 --> 00:16:38,270 I never pushed Carmen. 258 00:16:39,030 --> 00:16:41,770 Oh, now see, you just can't win. 259 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:45,840 George, if you push kids and it doesn't go well, then it's your fault. And if 260 00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:48,960 they succeed... I don't know what that's like. 261 00:16:50,420 --> 00:16:53,020 Carmen doesn't have to be smart. 262 00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:54,900 Maybe she's lucky. 263 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,900 Why don't you buy ten scratches and see? 264 00:16:58,120 --> 00:16:59,120 Come on, right here. 265 00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:06,859 I killed the Indians. 266 00:17:10,569 --> 00:17:13,390 Force the Chinese to build my railroad. 267 00:17:13,750 --> 00:17:15,750 Chugga, chugga. 268 00:17:17,450 --> 00:17:21,230 All aboard for oppression. 269 00:17:21,910 --> 00:17:24,710 Welcome to my white America. 270 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:46,240 Honey, you'll be fine. They all suck. 271 00:17:46,660 --> 00:17:47,660 Mom! 272 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,280 What? They're just angry at everything. 273 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,000 Oh. 274 00:17:53,820 --> 00:17:58,360 I'm sorry you feel discriminated against by corporate society, but you can't be 275 00:17:58,360 --> 00:18:01,020 a teller in a bank with a door knocker in your nose. 276 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:11,700 What are you doing here? I came to talk to Carmen. 277 00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:17,060 It was wrong for me to say that you have no potential, even though you haven't 278 00:18:17,060 --> 00:18:18,700 worked hard at school or impressed me in any way. 279 00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:22,940 Is he trying to apologize? 280 00:18:24,300 --> 00:18:26,140 It's too soon to tell. It could go either way. 281 00:18:27,420 --> 00:18:30,120 And part of that is my fault, because I didn't push you enough, okay? I didn't 282 00:18:30,120 --> 00:18:31,880 have expectations for you. But that's over now. 283 00:18:32,300 --> 00:18:34,620 You're going to make something of your life, and I'm going to see to it. I'm 284 00:18:34,620 --> 00:18:37,420 going to be like a drill sergeant. You'll be like, oh, daddy, I can't stand 285 00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:39,320 anymore. I'm so tired. I'm going to be like, your daddy is... 286 00:18:44,110 --> 00:18:45,290 It's an apology, honey. 287 00:18:47,070 --> 00:18:50,590 And to show you that I'm serious, I even started a college fund for you. 288 00:18:51,290 --> 00:18:54,450 You mean all those jokes about me not having a college fund were true? 289 00:18:54,670 --> 00:18:57,610 No, you always had a college fund. 290 00:18:58,050 --> 00:19:00,310 Just didn't always have money in it. 291 00:19:02,150 --> 00:19:05,450 We spent money on other things, you know, like the house and the cars and 292 00:19:05,450 --> 00:19:08,530 insurance your mom made me buy because that crazy duck on TV told her to. 293 00:19:13,710 --> 00:19:18,530 I want you to know that I was so mad at you after what you said that I finally 294 00:19:18,530 --> 00:19:20,010 picked up my college test scores. 295 00:19:20,270 --> 00:19:22,790 Well, being below average isn't good enough anymore, Carmen, so we're going 296 00:19:22,790 --> 00:19:25,630 get you a tutor, and we're going to get those scores up, Maggie. No, actually, 297 00:19:25,750 --> 00:19:28,510 Dad, I placed in the top 20 percentile. 298 00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:43,800 Ivy League. That would be something. You know, Carmen, there's only $300 in 299 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:44,980 there. That was the limit on my ATM. 300 00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:56,880 Okay, up next, this poet is doing her very first slam. 301 00:20:07,530 --> 00:20:09,810 dad would say, you're right, let's get the hell out of here. But now that I'm 302 00:20:09,810 --> 00:20:13,350 all behind you, go up and do your thing, girl. Okay, but, um, just so you know, 303 00:20:13,450 --> 00:20:17,250 I wrote this when I was in a kind of dark place. Stop making excuses. Go, 304 00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:18,250 Consuela Lopez! 305 00:20:22,470 --> 00:20:24,690 My daddy. 306 00:20:28,530 --> 00:20:29,870 Daddy dream killer. 307 00:20:31,070 --> 00:20:32,470 Daddy life dealer. 308 00:20:33,650 --> 00:20:34,650 Daddy so... 309 00:20:37,450 --> 00:20:39,390 That mama didn't make the cut on show night, huh?