1
00:00:02,030 --> 00:00:03,930
Hey, looks like somebody landed a new
client.

2
00:00:04,150 --> 00:00:07,230
Yep. They'll cut some stuff for a
wedding I'm planning for this weekend.

3
00:00:07,510 --> 00:00:08,469
Whoa, what's this?

4
00:00:08,470 --> 00:00:09,910
A belt for a wedding dress?

5
00:00:15,770 --> 00:00:18,670
No, it's a garter. I got a plus -size
bride.

6
00:00:20,890 --> 00:00:25,930
It is a brave man who goes to get this
off with his teeth.

7
00:00:29,740 --> 00:00:31,140
Hey, George, that's not right, man.

8
00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:35,200
My mom's a plus -size lady, and she's
beautiful and full of life.

9
00:00:36,380 --> 00:00:37,980
When was the last time she got out of
bed?

10
00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:41,420
Well, that's hard to tell. She wears
sheets as clothes now.

11
00:00:44,060 --> 00:00:45,019
Hey, Mom.

12
00:00:45,020 --> 00:00:47,120
Hey, honey, how was school? It finally
happened.

13
00:00:47,340 --> 00:00:50,240
I've added special ed. They put me back
in regular classes.

14
00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:53,420
What? How is that possible, man? You
can't even... Hey, congratulations.

15
00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:57,580
I took the proficiency test, and I
passed.

16
00:00:57,900 --> 00:00:59,380
See, that's the way that Lopez is doing.

17
00:00:59,710 --> 00:01:04,110
We fail, we fail, we fail, we fail,
until one day, boom, we're average.

18
00:01:07,670 --> 00:01:10,990
Hey, Grandma, guess what? I'm not
Special Ed anymore.

19
00:01:11,450 --> 00:01:13,150
Oh, Max, that is great.

20
00:01:13,950 --> 00:01:16,130
Is there something worse than Special
Ed?

21
00:01:19,130 --> 00:01:25,450
Why is everyone so surprised Max is
doing better? He's learning to deal with

22
00:01:25,450 --> 00:01:28,330
dyslexia. He's a very smart boy.

23
00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:30,240
You got a 60?

24
00:01:31,180 --> 00:01:32,180
60?

25
00:01:32,320 --> 00:01:34,700
That's the score you got last year that
kept you in special ed.

26
00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:37,060
I know, but the school changed the
rules.

27
00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:38,860
What do you mean they changed the rules?

28
00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:40,520
It's in this letter.

29
00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:45,040
My special ed teacher says it's a
tragedy and I'll probably fall through

30
00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:48,620
cracks. But what does she know? She's
not smart enough to teach regular kids.

31
00:01:53,540 --> 00:01:56,040
You know, they said that I was going to
fall through the cracks.

32
00:01:56,380 --> 00:02:01,740
Yeah, they just kept passing me from
grade to grade, but I turned out pretty

33
00:02:01,740 --> 00:02:02,740
successful.

34
00:02:06,060 --> 00:02:11,060
Well, I better go to the factory. It's
my turn to rip the rat legs off the

35
00:02:11,060 --> 00:02:12,060
sticky traps.

36
00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:18,160
What do I always say, Max?

37
00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:19,520
Ernie's not a role model.

38
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:23,460
That's right. He's more like a clown,
bud.

39
00:02:24,490 --> 00:02:25,850
Not all clowns are sad. Very good.

40
00:02:27,910 --> 00:02:31,290
This is terrible. They're trying to save
money by mainstreaming a bunch of kids

41
00:02:31,290 --> 00:02:34,950
that aren't ready for it. Max is being
forced out of a program he still needs.

42
00:02:35,510 --> 00:02:38,510
This letter says it's a district policy,
but if we want more information,

43
00:02:38,630 --> 00:02:40,170
there's a school board meeting tomorrow
night.

44
00:02:40,770 --> 00:02:41,770
Well, we're going.

45
00:02:42,110 --> 00:02:44,110
And they're going to listen to me,
because I'm a good citizen.

46
00:02:44,550 --> 00:02:45,730
And I pay my taxes.

47
00:02:47,110 --> 00:02:49,130
I may claim a few extra dependents.

48
00:02:51,180 --> 00:02:54,300
But when you're Latino and you have less
than 10, I was scared it's a red flag.

49
00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:57,740
The meeting starts today.

50
00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:00,620
Honey, look at this.

51
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,940
The meeting's being run by your sister.

52
00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:04,800
You're kidding.

53
00:03:05,100 --> 00:03:07,300
Linda Lorenzo, superintendent of school.

54
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:11,940
Too bad she doesn't know you're her
brother. She could really help with Max.

55
00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:13,500
Would you stop it?

56
00:03:13,940 --> 00:03:17,420
She doesn't know she's adopted, and I
don't want her back in my life now

57
00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:20,450
The last... Last time I saw her, she was
all crying and needy.

58
00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:25,450
She was four days old.

59
00:03:28,610 --> 00:03:29,610
People don't change.

60
00:03:31,510 --> 00:03:32,510
Relax, Mom.

61
00:03:32,750 --> 00:03:35,550
I didn't tell her she was my sister last
time, and I'm not going to tell her

62
00:03:35,550 --> 00:03:36,469
this time.

63
00:03:36,470 --> 00:03:39,810
Because how do you explain to a
beautiful young woman that when it all

64
00:03:39,810 --> 00:03:42,330
go, that's how far it goes?

65
00:03:45,570 --> 00:03:48,070
I just looked at my first permit for
regular classes.

66
00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:50,280
And I want you to know I'm going to do
the best I can.

67
00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:52,580
But there's going to be cheating.

68
00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:55,520
Lots of it.

69
00:04:35,470 --> 00:04:38,310
They don't have money for special ed,
but they got money for urinals that

70
00:04:38,310 --> 00:04:39,310
themselves.

71
00:04:43,490 --> 00:04:44,610
Why are you out of breath?

72
00:04:45,270 --> 00:04:46,630
I got them all going at once.

73
00:04:51,230 --> 00:04:52,690
It sounded like a waterfall.

74
00:04:54,370 --> 00:04:56,670
And then the sound of the water made me
have to go again.

75
00:05:02,330 --> 00:05:03,330
Isn't that your sister?

76
00:05:04,430 --> 00:05:05,930
We run up to her and see if she
remembers me.

77
00:05:06,330 --> 00:05:09,390
Last time I told her I was involved with
some phony dyslexic organization and we

78
00:05:09,390 --> 00:05:10,390
bonded a little bit.

79
00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:13,710
Before you go, this may help our tape.

80
00:05:13,910 --> 00:05:17,450
Max wrote a letter to the school board
about why he wants to stay in regular

81
00:05:17,450 --> 00:05:18,450
classes.

82
00:05:18,970 --> 00:05:20,610
Dear sir or madman.

83
00:05:23,450 --> 00:05:28,230
I deserve to stay in regular classes and
here are my pot five raisins.

84
00:05:30,290 --> 00:05:32,150
God, we let this kid use a knife at
dinner?

85
00:05:35,950 --> 00:05:36,669
Hi, Linda.

86
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:38,390
I don't know if you remember me. I'm
George Lopez.

87
00:05:38,950 --> 00:05:43,190
I'm with the FCD, the Federation of
Chicano Dyslexics.

88
00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:48,410
Yes, I do remember you, but last time
you said you were with LAD, Latino

89
00:05:48,410 --> 00:05:49,690
Association for Dyslexics.

90
00:05:51,050 --> 00:05:52,050
Right.

91
00:05:53,450 --> 00:05:58,670
Yeah, you know, we had a big fight at
our spelling bee, so now we got a whole

92
00:05:58,670 --> 00:06:01,510
East Coast, West Coast dyslexic feud.

93
00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:06,520
And it's like the rap thing, but worse,
because we're dyslexic, so we don't know

94
00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:07,520
what coast we're on.

95
00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:12,800
Anyway, look, I'm here to talk about my
son, Max. He's dyslexic, and he's being

96
00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:14,160
pushed out of his special ed program.

97
00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:16,140
I understand why you're concerned. It's
on the agenda.

98
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:19,500
If we don't get to it at tonight's
meeting, we'll definitely get to it next

99
00:06:19,500 --> 00:06:20,500
month.

100
00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:22,960
Next month? Look, my son's going to fall
way behind.

101
00:06:23,260 --> 00:06:26,520
Look, read this, and keep in mind this
is not a monkey. This is a human child.

102
00:06:29,620 --> 00:06:31,700
Every parent here has something that
they want to discuss.

103
00:06:32,270 --> 00:06:34,390
Yeah, well, here's the weird thing about
that. I don't care.

104
00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:40,610
Look, Mr. Lopez, we will get to you when
we get to you. Yeah, but the kid wrote

105
00:06:40,610 --> 00:06:41,610
down Matt. Sit down.

106
00:06:43,030 --> 00:06:44,170
Sit down.

107
00:06:45,350 --> 00:06:46,350
Sit down.

108
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:51,310
We'll get to you when we get to you. I
hate my sister, Angie. I hate her so

109
00:06:51,310 --> 00:06:53,710
much. I wish I was an only child again.

110
00:06:55,870 --> 00:06:56,809
Good evening.

111
00:06:56,810 --> 00:06:58,270
I'm Linda Lorenzo, superintendent.

112
00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:02,280
We have a very full agenda for this
evening's meeting, so let's go ahead and

113
00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:03,280
started. Who cares?

114
00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:06,840
Item number one.

115
00:07:07,740 --> 00:07:09,740
The improvements to the drug prevention
program.

116
00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:12,220
All right, you know what? We get it, all
right? Hogs, not drugs.

117
00:07:12,820 --> 00:07:14,720
Crack is whack, all right? What's number
two?

118
00:07:15,460 --> 00:07:17,040
Because you know the inner city, right?
Hello?

119
00:07:17,260 --> 00:07:23,580
Are you guys Marilyn McCoo and Billy
Davis Jr.? I

120
00:07:23,580 --> 00:07:27,220
know what you want to talk about. Would
you please sit down and wait? I'm not

121
00:07:27,220 --> 00:07:28,480
going to sit down. We're the parents.

122
00:07:28,890 --> 00:07:30,090
And we're the ones who pay taxes.

123
00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:32,630
Yeah, and I want to talk about school
lunches.

124
00:07:32,890 --> 00:07:36,270
My child's a vegan, and you cook your
french fries in animal fat. What about

125
00:07:36,270 --> 00:07:37,270
that?

126
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:43,210
What up, taxi drivers?

127
00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:44,430
Sit your ass down.

128
00:07:46,170 --> 00:07:47,610
We're talking about learning here.

129
00:07:48,830 --> 00:07:51,270
You don't sit down right now. I'm going
to have to have you removed. Look, I'm

130
00:07:51,270 --> 00:07:53,850
not going to sit down until my son gets
the help that he needs. And I dare

131
00:07:53,850 --> 00:07:55,770
somebody to make a move, because I'm
from the street. Watch out.

132
00:08:00,170 --> 00:08:03,350
That's a problem with the school system,
Angie. I know. I got books, even though

133
00:08:03,350 --> 00:08:09,410
I haven't read them. Talking about
playgrounds and vegetables and language

134
00:08:09,910 --> 00:08:11,410
This is L .A. You want to learn Spanish?

135
00:08:11,630 --> 00:08:12,630
Take a bus.

136
00:08:14,530 --> 00:08:16,510
I'm not going anywhere until you help my
son.

137
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:19,370
Now, why should I give your child any
more help than anybody else's child

138
00:08:19,530 --> 00:08:20,530
Because he's your nephew.

139
00:08:22,170 --> 00:08:23,210
And I'm your brother.

140
00:08:23,690 --> 00:08:25,050
What? That's right.

141
00:08:25,450 --> 00:08:26,810
You're throwing out your own brother.

142
00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:30,720
Ask your parents about Benny Lopez.
They'll tell you, man, I'm a Navy SEAL.

143
00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:31,720
take this to the pool.

144
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,520
What would you feel if you suddenly
found out you were adopted and I wasn't

145
00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,800
real dad? Dad, don't say that.

146
00:09:13,140 --> 00:09:15,520
Unless you're absolutely positive it's
true.

147
00:09:16,260 --> 00:09:17,860
It would explain so much.

148
00:09:19,340 --> 00:09:20,340
You're mine.

149
00:09:20,380 --> 00:09:22,420
If you were adopted, I would have
returned you already.

150
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:25,880
California has lemon laws.

151
00:09:41,670 --> 00:09:46,730
I got your address out of Mac's file,
but I had to talk to you face to face.

152
00:09:47,290 --> 00:09:51,090
Look, I'm sorry about tonight, all
right? I never should have opened my

153
00:09:51,130 --> 00:09:54,450
No, no, I talked to my parents, and they
told me everything.

154
00:09:55,690 --> 00:09:58,530
You know, I wanted to tell you the first
time I met you, but you had such a

155
00:09:58,530 --> 00:10:00,430
great life. You know, I didn't want to
mess that up.

156
00:10:01,250 --> 00:10:02,250
Thanks.

157
00:10:02,670 --> 00:10:04,170
Thanks for giving me one more good year.

158
00:10:10,830 --> 00:10:15,810
I woke up this morning and I was the
only child of two loving Italian

159
00:10:16,790 --> 00:10:18,590
Now it's 11 p .m. and I'm a Mexican.

160
00:10:21,410 --> 00:10:27,790
I know, huh?

161
00:10:30,950 --> 00:10:34,350
You know, you're really not Mexican
until you've gone to a wedding with a

162
00:10:34,350 --> 00:10:35,590
dress and a black bra under.

163
00:10:40,460 --> 00:10:41,580
real mother and father like?

164
00:10:42,420 --> 00:10:45,000
Well, our father's easy.

165
00:10:45,820 --> 00:10:47,660
He ran out on mom before you were born.

166
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:50,400
I didn't know him, but I tracked him
down last year.

167
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,140
I punched him in the face.

168
00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:54,280
He asked me for a kidney and he died.

169
00:10:57,060 --> 00:10:58,060
And my mother?

170
00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:02,140
Oh, yeah. She's kind of hard to describe
in just a few words.

171
00:11:03,700 --> 00:11:08,220
She's a short, bitter, drunk. Actually,
that covers it.

172
00:11:11,660 --> 00:11:13,520
whatever she's like. She's still my
birth mother.

173
00:11:14,620 --> 00:11:15,620
And I want to meet her.

174
00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:19,820
You know, Linda, I don't think that's
such a good idea. I mean, forget about

175
00:11:19,820 --> 00:11:22,240
Benny. I mean, you and I are brother and
sister. We should get to know each

176
00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:23,380
other. Oh, yeah.

177
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:26,560
You know, I want to know all about you,
George.

178
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:28,280
But I have to meet my mother.

179
00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:33,220
Look, I'm trying to protect you. Okay?
She knows that you're out there.

180
00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:37,560
But when our father left and she
couldn't afford to raise both kids, you

181
00:11:37,560 --> 00:11:40,600
she let you go. And when she let you go,
she let you go.

182
00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:45,920
Well, if you really want to be a brother
to me, you would start by introducing

183
00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:46,920
me to my mom.

184
00:11:49,420 --> 00:11:51,000
I don't think so.

185
00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:52,840
Why don't you want me to meet her?

186
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:55,380
Are you jealous?

187
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,160
You don't want to share your mother with
me?

188
00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:04,140
Share! I'll trade!

189
00:12:09,610 --> 00:12:10,610
I could be Italian.

190
00:12:15,570 --> 00:12:19,050
Try the cannolis. Forget about it. I
know a guy. Watch out.

191
00:12:22,730 --> 00:12:23,730
That's a stereotype.

192
00:12:24,090 --> 00:12:25,250
What do you care? You're a Mexican.

193
00:12:32,930 --> 00:12:36,490
That was quite a meal, Angie.

194
00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:40,380
smoked the taste of it out of my mouth.

195
00:12:46,340 --> 00:12:48,040
Max, why are you so tired?

196
00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:50,300
I was up till 11 last night trying to do
homework.

197
00:12:51,660 --> 00:12:52,900
Dad, you're in a big sick.

198
00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:55,340
How did you make it through all the
regular classes?

199
00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:59,540
Well, you know, I really struggle, Max,
because I didn't have somebody to help

200
00:12:59,540 --> 00:13:01,280
me. But you do, son.

201
00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:03,520
Thanks, Dad. Not me, Carmen.

202
00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:06,140
Help your brother with his homework.

203
00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:08,060
Wait, why do I have to do it?

204
00:13:08,460 --> 00:13:12,200
Because I'll give you $50 for every B he
gets and $25 for every C?

205
00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:15,520
Well, what happens if I help him get an
A?

206
00:13:17,940 --> 00:13:22,500
Then I'll give you a million dollars and
a ride on a rocket ship.

207
00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:29,800
You know, maybe once you get to know
Linda better, she can help us get Max

208
00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:30,800
in special ed.

209
00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:33,300
You know, I don't think that's going to
happen, Angie.

210
00:13:33,940 --> 00:13:35,820
I decided not to introduce her to my
mom.

211
00:13:38,030 --> 00:13:41,210
So you're already treating your sister
better than you treated me? John.

212
00:13:49,990 --> 00:13:50,990
Hi.

213
00:13:53,890 --> 00:13:54,910
Linda, what are you doing here?

214
00:13:59,830 --> 00:14:00,830
Are you Benny?

215
00:14:02,870 --> 00:14:03,910
Who the hell are you?

216
00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:09,560
I'm your daughter.

217
00:14:12,340 --> 00:14:13,340
Wow.

218
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,460
The three of us haven't been together
since...

219
00:14:17,460 --> 00:14:24,040
Since you gave her away to

220
00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:25,040
strangers.

221
00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:33,660
I told you not to do this.

222
00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:35,500
Why is she here?

223
00:14:37,450 --> 00:14:43,830
what's going on uh you know how uh
sometimes strangers come by and we find

224
00:14:43,830 --> 00:14:44,990
they're related to your dad

225
00:14:44,990 --> 00:14:51,950
this is

226
00:14:51,950 --> 00:14:52,950
one of those nights

227
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:09,020
isn't George's fault. He did tell me to
stay away. I followed you from the

228
00:15:09,020 --> 00:15:10,020
factory.

229
00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:14,240
I've just been sitting in the car trying
to get up the courage to come in and

230
00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:15,240
meet you.

231
00:15:18,540 --> 00:15:19,840
You should have listened to George.

232
00:15:21,020 --> 00:15:23,100
I didn't want you then and I don't want
you now.

233
00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:28,460
That's our mommy.

234
00:15:30,060 --> 00:15:32,480
Hey, you just can't walk away.

235
00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:34,160
You're her mother.

236
00:15:34,380 --> 00:15:35,380
No, I'm not.

237
00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:37,780
Tina Lorenzo's her mother.

238
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:41,020
Look, why can't you just talk to her?

239
00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:48,300
If you open up, and you show her what
you're really like, I guarantee she'll

240
00:15:48,300 --> 00:15:49,300
never want to see you again.

241
00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:54,300
She's not going anywhere.

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00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:58,340
She wants to make me feel guilty.

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00:15:58,980 --> 00:16:02,760
And I got nothing to be sorry about. I
couldn't keep both of you.

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00:16:03,340 --> 00:16:06,800
But I made sure she had a good home and
nice parents.

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00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:10,760
Is that what's bothering you? Deep down
inside, you feel guilty?

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00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:16,720
I don't need to hear this from you.
Look, my father wasn't in my life, and I

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00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:18,840
always felt like there was something
missing because I didn't know him.

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00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:21,780
I'm telling you, Mom, that's how she's
feeling right now.

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00:16:23,940 --> 00:16:25,900
I'm nothing like your father was.

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00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:27,940
If you walk out that gate, you are.

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00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:49,840
Angie, what's going on in there? I don't
know. I haven't heard anything for a

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00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:53,540
while. Okay, if my mom comes out here
with Linda's feet coming out of her

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00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:57,280
we know what happened.

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00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:00,720
Here comes your mom.

255
00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:02,760
Hello.

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00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:04,720
Well, I'm out of here.

257
00:17:05,099 --> 00:17:10,079
Hey, for tomorrow night's painful
reunion, maybe you could track down that

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00:17:10,079 --> 00:17:11,960
pedestrian I ran over in 97.

259
00:17:16,810 --> 00:17:17,810
I'm going to check on Linda.

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00:17:18,710 --> 00:17:20,190
Come on, Mom. Was it that bad?

261
00:17:20,390 --> 00:17:23,210
Yeah. I realize I made a huge mistake.

262
00:17:24,690 --> 00:17:26,810
Yeah, Mom, but you said you couldn't
keep the both of us.

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00:17:27,470 --> 00:17:28,470
I know.

264
00:17:33,390 --> 00:17:35,030
Should have taken her. She's smart.

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00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:39,650
Successful. Hell of a woman.

266
00:17:41,150 --> 00:17:43,450
Yeah, of course she turned out great.
She was raised by people.

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00:17:49,770 --> 00:17:51,370
being the ugly sister, doesn't it?

268
00:17:56,430 --> 00:17:59,510
So, was my mom everything I said she
was?

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00:18:00,290 --> 00:18:03,210
You know, actually, after she warmed up
a bit, we had a really good

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00:18:03,210 --> 00:18:04,210
conversation.

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00:18:04,630 --> 00:18:10,170
She told me about her childhood and her
dreams, and she even gave me a big hug.

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00:18:11,850 --> 00:18:12,850
What?

273
00:18:16,370 --> 00:18:17,810
Please, she barely shook my hand.

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00:18:20,110 --> 00:18:21,130
She shook your hand?

275
00:18:23,530 --> 00:18:24,950
George, thank you.

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00:18:25,390 --> 00:18:28,590
I don't know what kind of relationship
I'll ever have with Benny, but it's

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00:18:28,590 --> 00:18:30,050
to be really great to have a big
brother.

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00:18:36,590 --> 00:18:38,830
I'll leave you two alone to catch up.

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00:18:39,330 --> 00:18:43,670
Please come around for the holidays,
because most of the time it's just us

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00:18:43,670 --> 00:18:44,670
Benny.

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00:18:46,450 --> 00:18:47,450
Seriously.

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00:18:48,110 --> 00:18:50,430
I need you there. The booze isn't
working like it used to.

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00:18:54,410 --> 00:18:57,650
So, Linda, my favorite sister.

284
00:18:58,510 --> 00:19:01,370
You know, your nephew Max is a great
kid.

285
00:19:01,670 --> 00:19:04,150
Sure needs to get back in that special
ed class. I know.

286
00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:06,210
I'm sorry. I can't help you.

287
00:19:07,830 --> 00:19:09,670
But I just hooked you up with your real
mom.

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00:19:16,910 --> 00:19:18,430
I was the one with the crappy childhood.

289
00:19:21,010 --> 00:19:26,450
One time I made myself choke on a hot
dog so my mom could come up from behind

290
00:19:26,450 --> 00:19:27,450
and give me the Heimlich.

291
00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:32,490
So I could pretend it was a just
-because hug.

292
00:19:36,270 --> 00:19:38,490
All right, I'll arrange for Mac to
retake the test.

293
00:19:39,770 --> 00:19:42,970
And then, maybe he won't do as well this
time.

294
00:19:43,790 --> 00:19:46,490
And then I would be forced to put him
back in special ed.

295
00:19:48,610 --> 00:19:49,610
Wow.

296
00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:52,790
You're already holding one of your own
back.

297
00:19:56,030 --> 00:19:57,850
Congratulations, Linda. You are Mexican.

298
00:20:05,610 --> 00:20:08,670
I feel guilty about keeping Max up.

299
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:13,520
You've got to fail that test, Angie, if
you want to get him back in special ed.

300
00:20:14,700 --> 00:20:17,640
Hey, Max, time to get to school. Big
test today.

301
00:20:18,020 --> 00:20:19,180
Can I eat something first?

302
00:20:19,460 --> 00:20:20,480
What? Are you crazy?

303
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:22,480
You think better on an empty stomach.

304
00:20:22,740 --> 00:20:24,740
Albert Einstein, bulimic.

305
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:29,160
Now, what have I taught you, Max, about
true or false questions?

306
00:20:29,540 --> 00:20:32,240
The answer is always false, because the
test is written by the man.

307
00:20:32,540 --> 00:20:35,020
And the man never tells the truth.
That's right.

308
00:20:35,940 --> 00:20:38,080
Never go with your first instinct.

309
00:20:38,380 --> 00:20:39,980
Always second -guess yourself.

310
00:20:40,669 --> 00:20:42,770
Now, who was the first man to walk on
the moon?

311
00:20:43,110 --> 00:20:44,110
Neil Armstrong.

312
00:20:44,890 --> 00:20:45,890
Second guess?

313
00:20:46,730 --> 00:20:48,390
Lance Armstrong. That's my boy!

314
00:20:49,910 --> 00:20:51,650
I can hear your stomach growling. You're
ready.