1
00:00:01,760 --> 00:00:04,320
George, do you have anything for the
charity box?

2
00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:08,319
Oh, here.

3
00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:10,000
I cleaned out my closet. Take it easy.

4
00:00:10,620 --> 00:00:11,620
This?

5
00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:14,940
This is what you're giving to the needy
at Christmas?

6
00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:17,280
The thing that stamps your name on golf
balls?

7
00:00:19,580 --> 00:00:21,380
I've been slicing the ball too much,
Angie.

8
00:00:21,620 --> 00:00:24,940
I'm tired of guys coming in from the
parking lot with bloody foreheads

9
00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:26,000
Are you George Lopez?

10
00:00:28,110 --> 00:00:31,030
I gotta pretend I'm like that. No, I
can't talk right now, please.

11
00:00:34,490 --> 00:00:37,490
Here, this is all the stuff I don't want
anymore.

12
00:00:38,510 --> 00:00:40,910
Why are you giving these away? Half of
them aren't even open.

13
00:00:41,270 --> 00:00:43,810
Because I need room in my closet for all
my new Christmas stuff.

14
00:00:45,570 --> 00:00:48,390
Oh, here's a list of what I want this
year.

15
00:00:48,630 --> 00:00:49,630
A list?

16
00:00:51,350 --> 00:00:52,730
A paintball gun?

17
00:00:53,310 --> 00:00:55,410
A poster of Dave Miro? Who's that?

18
00:00:55,990 --> 00:00:56,990
Dave Miro?

19
00:00:57,940 --> 00:00:59,100
BMX games.

20
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,280
Oh, right.

21
00:01:01,980 --> 00:01:04,980
He's one of those grown men on a little
bike. He let that one check.

22
00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:13,640
Okay, back to the list.

23
00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:15,240
A new bike.

24
00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:18,720
Seven video games. An MP3 player.

25
00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:19,960
A monkey.

26
00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:23,700
Small, hairy animal.

27
00:01:24,320 --> 00:01:25,320
Disposable thumb.

28
00:01:26,730 --> 00:01:27,810
I know what a monkey is.

29
00:01:28,450 --> 00:01:31,250
That's just one more thing you're going
to get tired of. I'm not going to be

30
00:01:31,250 --> 00:01:33,810
down here next year dropping a dead
monkey in a box for charity.

31
00:01:35,770 --> 00:01:39,710
No, if you got me a monkey, I'd use it.
He could take out the trash from me,

32
00:01:39,770 --> 00:01:40,770
make my bed.

33
00:01:40,850 --> 00:01:43,550
He could brush my teeth while I play
video games. Watch out, I'll be like

34
00:01:50,690 --> 00:01:53,490
Yeah, maybe he could go to school for
you, too. You might actually get a B

35
00:01:53,490 --> 00:01:54,490
year.

36
00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:02,340
I have a question about the list you
gave me, Matt.

37
00:02:02,540 --> 00:02:05,220
He gave you a Christmas list, too? A
week ago.

38
00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:08,400
But I can't find this monkey cage game.

39
00:02:09,740 --> 00:02:15,020
It's not a game, Daddy. It's an actual
cage. He asked us for a monkey.

40
00:02:15,460 --> 00:02:19,780
Hmm. That explains why he wants diapers
on a tiny accordion.

41
00:02:21,340 --> 00:02:22,480
God, I hope so.

42
00:02:25,930 --> 00:02:26,930
as greedy as Max.

43
00:02:27,010 --> 00:02:29,810
I just want some nice outfits from real
clothing stores.

44
00:02:30,770 --> 00:02:31,769
Here's a hint.

45
00:02:31,770 --> 00:02:35,950
If you're pushing a shopping cart and
Dad's eating a corn dog, you're in the

46
00:02:35,950 --> 00:02:36,950
wrong place.

47
00:02:40,010 --> 00:02:41,490
Don't be such a princess.

48
00:02:42,310 --> 00:02:46,350
When your dad was a kid, he wore clothes
from the county corner's thrift shop

49
00:02:46,350 --> 00:02:47,370
and he never complained.

50
00:03:00,490 --> 00:03:01,490
You can't take it with you.

51
00:03:02,790 --> 00:03:04,450
Who's going to bury their kid in shorts?

52
00:03:06,890 --> 00:03:10,750
Oh, that reminds me. Dad, I saw this
hand -painted short -sleeved dress from

53
00:03:10,750 --> 00:03:14,030
this really cute boutique. It's on sale
for $300. You have to get it for me.

54
00:03:14,170 --> 00:03:16,390
What? Are you crazy? $300 for a hand
-painted dress?

55
00:03:17,210 --> 00:03:19,070
Carmen, I was walking around in haunted
pants.

56
00:03:20,810 --> 00:03:23,410
You know what? We spoiled you kids too
much, and it's going to stop this

57
00:03:23,410 --> 00:03:27,190
Christmas. You know what we're going to
do? Each of you guys is going to get one

58
00:03:27,190 --> 00:03:28,230
gift. No!

59
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:34,680
Isn't that kind of severe, George? No,
Angie, you know what? They need to learn

60
00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:35,720
to appreciate what they have.

61
00:03:36,140 --> 00:03:39,120
Look at all this perfectly good stuff
wasted on charity.

62
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:44,760
An ant colony.

63
00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:48,180
A microscope. When you're poor, you
don't want to see things tiny.

64
00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:54,320
Your father's not wrong.

65
00:03:55,720 --> 00:04:00,120
How about we make it one big thoughtful
gift instead of a lot of gifts? And

66
00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:01,120
we'll make it fun.

67
00:04:01,770 --> 00:04:02,770
secret Santa.

68
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:08,730
Okay, everybody, write your name down on
a piece of paper.

69
00:04:08,950 --> 00:04:13,310
We'll put it in a hat, and whoever you
get, you have to buy that person a gift.

70
00:04:13,810 --> 00:04:16,490
Here you go, Daddy, Benny.

71
00:04:17,610 --> 00:04:19,149
Well, you're including my mom in this?

72
00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:26,530
She's part of the family, isn't she?

73
00:04:27,310 --> 00:04:30,690
Well, I guess since our big talk about
contradicting you in public, of course

74
00:04:30,690 --> 00:04:31,690
she is.

75
00:04:33,510 --> 00:04:35,030
Can I talk to you in private?

76
00:04:39,730 --> 00:04:43,370
Are you crazy? You know my mom and
Christmas, whoever she gets is screwed.

77
00:04:46,270 --> 00:04:49,150
It's the holidays. We have to include
her.

78
00:04:49,530 --> 00:04:52,570
Do you really think your mom would
purposely ruin someone's Christmas?

79
00:04:52,990 --> 00:04:53,990
Are you kidding?

80
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,840
You know what I got when I was fixed,
Angie? A comb.

81
00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:02,260
Notice I didn't say a new comb.

82
00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:06,940
George, the only reason I agreed to this
is so the kids understand what

83
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:08,240
Christmas is really about.

84
00:05:09,380 --> 00:05:15,300
And maybe, by putting faith in your mom,
you might learn something, too.

85
00:05:17,580 --> 00:05:18,580
Yeah.

86
00:05:18,980 --> 00:05:22,360
Let's see how much faith you have when
you get a dirty, broken comb with dead

87
00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:23,360
kids' hair in it.

88
00:05:27,020 --> 00:05:30,260
Everyone's names are in the hat, but you
and Angie. Okay, give me yours, Angie.

89
00:05:33,140 --> 00:05:37,100
Okay, everybody pick one. In the spirit
of Christmas, I'd like to say a little

90
00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:38,100
prayer.

91
00:05:41,540 --> 00:05:46,320
Dear Lord, please let my rich grandpa
pick me. Carmen!

92
00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:51,880
That's mine.

93
00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:55,640
And the last one is yours, Mom.

94
00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:04,780
Now, how about we all decorate the tree
together? Come on, Mom. Do we have to?

95
00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:08,260
Hey, you heard your mother. Decorating
the tree, that's part of being a family.

96
00:06:09,380 --> 00:06:10,540
You too, George?

97
00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:13,500
What did I do?

98
00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:18,460
Vic, Vic, let's switch.

99
00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:19,959
No way.

100
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:22,900
That jerk son of mine rigged it so I
would get Angie.

101
00:06:23,820 --> 00:06:27,820
I swear to God, I'll go to the coroner's
thrift shop. They're a...

102
00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:30,100
of people her size who can't handle
Christmas.

103
00:06:31,860 --> 00:06:32,860
Fine, just drink.

104
00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:36,080
Oh, him.

105
00:06:36,900 --> 00:06:38,360
I know how to take care of him.

106
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:42,440
Hey, aren't you going to come in and
help decorate the tree?

107
00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:46,220
Oh, no, no, no. I gotta go to the
grocery store and get ready for the

108
00:06:46,820 --> 00:06:47,940
I'm almost out of eggs.

109
00:07:00,010 --> 00:07:01,010
I'm a low rider.

110
00:07:15,430 --> 00:07:16,430
Hey,

111
00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:18,470
look at your house.

112
00:07:18,810 --> 00:07:20,890
I got an angel I put up there every
year. Where'd it go?

113
00:07:21,730 --> 00:07:23,050
I'm starting a new tradition.

114
00:07:24,150 --> 00:07:28,090
You know, when I first came from Cuba to
America...

115
00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:33,260
We could only afford a tiny little tree.

116
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:36,720
But we found that angel in a thrift
store.

117
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:43,760
We polished its golden wings and put it
on top of the tree, and behold, my angel

118
00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:44,760
of freedom.

119
00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:47,440
Right.

120
00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:53,180
You know, there's a beautiful story
behind my Jim Plunkett bobblehead angel,

121
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,240
too.

122
00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:59,800
Twenty years ago, I filled up my tank
with gas, and they gave me this for

123
00:08:02,350 --> 00:08:03,350
That's my America.

124
00:08:05,290 --> 00:08:06,610
You don't deserve freedom.

125
00:08:06,930 --> 00:08:11,010
You don't appreciate it. Appreciate you
got a dumb Cuban story for everything.

126
00:08:11,750 --> 00:08:15,610
I remember the first time I blew my nose
in America.

127
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:19,790
Behold, my freedom tissues.

128
00:08:22,770 --> 00:08:27,330
You're not a cardiologist. I know this
argument is causing stress for my heart.

129
00:08:27,870 --> 00:08:31,550
So I must relieve it by saying estúpido,
estúpido, estúpido.

130
00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:48,980
Hey, Max, you want to watch some TV?

131
00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:50,519
No, thanks.

132
00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:52,380
Come on, man, we haven't seen The Grinch
this year.

133
00:08:53,180 --> 00:08:55,140
I don't need to watch it. I'm living it.

134
00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:01,620
You don't need a pile of presents under
the tree to have a good Christmas, Max.

135
00:09:02,420 --> 00:09:04,000
It's not even going to feel like
Christmas.

136
00:09:04,540 --> 00:09:06,100
It'll be over in, like, five minutes.

137
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:10,340
I'm going to miss everyone opening their
gifts, and Mom says, save the bows, and

138
00:09:10,340 --> 00:09:12,260
you put them on your butt, and you say,
unwrap this.

139
00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:16,360
No, it's funny.

140
00:09:17,020 --> 00:09:19,520
Before you kids were born, your mom
would unwrap it. We'd be like that.

141
00:09:22,220 --> 00:09:22,540
And

142
00:09:22,540 --> 00:09:29,520
now

143
00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:31,500
she just says, hey, you're wasting all
the good bowls.

144
00:09:34,980 --> 00:09:37,800
Look, I know this is hard on you, but
maybe next time you get more than one

145
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:38,820
gift, you'll appreciate it.

146
00:09:40,220 --> 00:09:41,220
Yeah.

147
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:42,839
That's good.

148
00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:44,320
Hey, so who did you get in Secret Santa?

149
00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:45,680
You.

150
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:48,820
I got you something good because now I
know how bad your Christmases must have

151
00:09:48,820 --> 00:09:49,820
been when you were a kid.

152
00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:55,320
Angie, quick.

153
00:09:55,580 --> 00:09:56,720
Are you Max the Secret Santa?

154
00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:59,420
Well, I... Oh, nice try.

155
00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:02,880
But you're not going to trick me into
helping you figure out who got you.

156
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:05,360
Look, it's not about that.

157
00:10:06,020 --> 00:10:08,900
Max is down. I just want to make sure
his one gift is something special.

158
00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:11,180
Oh. Well, then I have to tell you.

159
00:10:12,220 --> 00:10:13,220
Lame!

160
00:10:15,690 --> 00:10:18,530
Angie, I went too far, and I'm worried
this Christmas is going to be ruined.

161
00:10:19,690 --> 00:10:23,290
Well, in that case, the answer is lame.

162
00:10:26,290 --> 00:10:27,690
Just tell me who got Max.

163
00:10:28,110 --> 00:10:29,110
I got him.

164
00:10:29,610 --> 00:10:32,150
Wait a minute. That's impossible. I
rigged it so you'd get Angie.

165
00:10:34,070 --> 00:10:37,750
You tried to rig it, but I traded with
Vic.

166
00:10:38,810 --> 00:10:41,630
What do you mean you rigged it?

167
00:10:42,510 --> 00:10:45,010
Well, I didn't want to get a crappy gift
and you're the one who wanted to

168
00:10:45,010 --> 00:10:46,010
include my mom.

169
00:10:49,030 --> 00:10:50,790
I thought you deserved to be punished.

170
00:10:54,130 --> 00:10:56,750
You wanted to punish me on Christmas?

171
00:10:58,790 --> 00:11:03,470
Okay, maybe punish isn't the right word.
I wanted to... I wanted to teach you a

172
00:11:03,470 --> 00:11:04,470
holiday lesson.

173
00:11:06,850 --> 00:11:08,710
Who says I give crappy gifts?

174
00:11:10,430 --> 00:11:11,430
You're right.

175
00:11:11,790 --> 00:11:15,270
I really enjoyed the one year the school
said I couldn't come back until I got

176
00:11:15,270 --> 00:11:18,910
my vaccinations, and you said, all
right, George, get them, but that's your

177
00:11:18,910 --> 00:11:19,910
Christmas present.

178
00:11:22,330 --> 00:11:23,430
What did you get Max?

179
00:11:23,810 --> 00:11:26,510
Look, I took care of it. Max will be
fine.

180
00:11:27,570 --> 00:11:30,870
Look, Mom, Max is only getting one gift
this year, and last year you got him a

181
00:11:30,870 --> 00:11:32,550
three -pack of irregular T -shirts.

182
00:11:34,910 --> 00:11:35,970
Did he wear them?

183
00:11:36,490 --> 00:11:37,490
One.

184
00:11:37,890 --> 00:11:39,830
But the armhole was so close to the
neck.

185
00:11:41,829 --> 00:11:43,810
Teacher thought he was asking questions
all day.

186
00:11:45,710 --> 00:11:47,890
Look, you're just going to have to trust
me.

187
00:11:49,230 --> 00:11:50,230
Angie did.

188
00:11:50,550 --> 00:11:52,890
That's why she included me in the secret
Santa.

189
00:11:54,310 --> 00:11:56,930
Okay, you're right. I'm sorry, all
right? I shouldn't have insulted you.

190
00:11:57,570 --> 00:12:00,470
I'm sure you got something nice for Max.
Too slow!

191
00:12:02,970 --> 00:12:06,590
No wonder you always came home crying
because they picked you last in gym.

192
00:12:07,590 --> 00:12:08,590
Give it up, Mom!

193
00:12:08,790 --> 00:12:10,350
What is your problem?

194
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:14,220
First, you're worried you're spoiling
your kid. Then you're worried they're

195
00:12:14,220 --> 00:12:17,300
getting enough. They should be happy
with everything they get.

196
00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:21,620
You know, when I was a kid, I got a
black eye for Christmas, and I said,

197
00:12:21,620 --> 00:12:22,620
you.

198
00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:28,620
Okay, you're right. All right, I'm
sorry.

199
00:12:28,820 --> 00:12:30,180
When you put it that way, how can you
not?

200
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:35,800
The girl with the one short leg got
picked before me in kickball.

201
00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:44,500
You know that my muscles didn't work
right because all you fed me was

202
00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:51,580
You will see this when Max opens it
tomorrow morning. Screw you!

203
00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:56,740
What's all the yelling about?

204
00:12:57,020 --> 00:13:02,900
We weren't yelling. We were... We were
reenacting the famous Christmas argument

205
00:13:02,900 --> 00:13:05,180
between Joseph and the three wise men.

206
00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:10,740
Who gives frankincense to a baby?

207
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:12,820
He's just going to put it in his mouth.

208
00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:15,440
Screw you!

209
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:22,400
Honey,

210
00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:30,440
thank you so much for letting Daddy put
up his freedom angel.

211
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:33,520
Of course, baby.

212
00:13:33,820 --> 00:13:35,400
I know what that means to your dad.

213
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:38,520
I would never make fun of his suffering
in Cuba.

214
00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:43,680
What did you do to Daddy's freedom
nutcracker?

215
00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:46,240
I turned it into Castro.

216
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:55,980
Tom Bick, see what will happen if you
try to take back my island.

217
00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:58,700
Just give me the nutcracker.

218
00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:02,180
Now I got two of those upstairs.

219
00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:07,520
What? I said Merry Christmas, my love.

220
00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:15,640
Be my elf.

221
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:19,600
Did you get it? Dude, it was the last
paintball gun they had, wasn't it?

222
00:14:19,980 --> 00:14:21,280
Max is going to love this.

223
00:14:21,980 --> 00:14:22,980
What are you doing?

224
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:26,600
Well, I know my mom's going to get him a
crappy gift, and I want him to have

225
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:28,460
something nice to open on Christmas
morning.

226
00:14:28,780 --> 00:14:32,160
But you're going to show up your mother,
and she's going to be humiliated.

227
00:14:32,380 --> 00:14:35,660
And that's a good way for me to end my
year. Watch out. Hello.

228
00:14:38,980 --> 00:14:42,640
No, you can't do this. Then you have to
wait till Benny leaves to let Max open

229
00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:43,640
that gift.

230
00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:46,760
Okay, but how am I going to humiliate
her? George!

231
00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:49,360
Promise me?

232
00:14:50,020 --> 00:14:51,020
All right.

233
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:53,400
But if I smell a bad gift, ha!

234
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:54,600
I'm there.

235
00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:02,600
What's Grandma Benny getting here?

236
00:15:02,980 --> 00:15:06,620
Oh, she moves a little slow Christmas
morning, Carmen. Last night she was at a

237
00:15:06,620 --> 00:15:08,800
bar doing her traditional 12 shots of
Christmas.

238
00:15:16,780 --> 00:15:19,860
Anytime, we should read this letter from
the family in Peru who received our

239
00:15:19,860 --> 00:15:20,900
Christmas care package.

240
00:15:21,180 --> 00:15:22,400
Daddy, would you translate?

241
00:15:22,860 --> 00:15:23,860
Certainly.

242
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:26,880
Diego Wright, thank you for the gift.

243
00:15:27,620 --> 00:15:30,160
The ant colony was delicious.

244
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,680
Did they like George's golf ball,
Stamper?

245
00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:39,360
Why, yes.

246
00:15:39,660 --> 00:15:45,680
You'll be glad to know that all our
llamas' ears proudly bear the name

247
00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:46,680
Lopez.

248
00:15:48,700 --> 00:15:50,520
So much for your penicillin and rice.

249
00:15:52,780 --> 00:15:54,040
All right, I'm here.

250
00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:56,440
Remember, George.

251
00:15:57,440 --> 00:15:58,620
I'm waiting, I'm waiting.

252
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,800
Mom, why don't you give your gift first?

253
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,800
Does it feel like you'll like it and
shut up?

254
00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:19,940
Okay, change of plans.

255
00:16:20,540 --> 00:16:23,420
Max, why don't you open something from
Santa first?

256
00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:27,480
That's not fair, Dad. He gets two gifts
and I get one? Because he's a boy,

257
00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:28,560
quiet.

258
00:16:28,980 --> 00:16:30,240
What the hell are you doing?

259
00:16:31,380 --> 00:16:35,060
Cool. This is the one that shoots 18
paintballs a second.

260
00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:36,880
Hello, Peppleton.

261
00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:40,060
You want to make sure that the safety is
on.

262
00:16:53,070 --> 00:16:54,130
My freedom angel.

263
00:16:54,630 --> 00:16:55,630
She's hit.

264
00:16:58,710 --> 00:17:00,350
My other present from Grandma.

265
00:17:07,510 --> 00:17:09,190
It's a picture of Dave Mirra.

266
00:17:09,690 --> 00:17:12,730
And he autographed a program from the
first X Games.

267
00:17:13,329 --> 00:17:14,329
Where?

268
00:17:14,829 --> 00:17:16,410
Somewhere under the paint.

269
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:35,500
Okay, now we've got one present again.
Are you happy?

270
00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:36,840
Selfish?

271
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:43,800
Okay,

272
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:51,560
come in.

273
00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:57,640
Come on, Mom. We all want you to come
back to the house for Christmas dinner.

274
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:00,040
Why do you need me?

275
00:18:00,990 --> 00:18:04,630
Don't you have a backup grandma that can
shoot paintballs out of her butt?

276
00:18:10,250 --> 00:18:11,430
All right, look, Mom.

277
00:18:11,790 --> 00:18:16,230
In almost 40 years, you never got me or
the kids one good Christmas gift. I

278
00:18:16,230 --> 00:18:17,830
mean, how was I supposed to know this
was the year?

279
00:18:18,230 --> 00:18:20,870
Because I told you that I have it
covered.

280
00:18:21,670 --> 00:18:24,270
Do you know how much I dropped on that
thing?

281
00:18:25,350 --> 00:18:26,630
200 bucks.

282
00:18:28,590 --> 00:18:31,520
Ruined. That was my whole Christmas
bonus.

283
00:18:32,260 --> 00:18:35,520
But you've never done anything like that
before in your whole life. I mean, why

284
00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:39,940
now? The kid was only getting one gift.
I wasn't going to ruin a little boy's

285
00:18:39,940 --> 00:18:40,940
Christmas.

286
00:18:45,580 --> 00:18:46,580
Hello?

287
00:18:48,300 --> 00:18:51,320
That was different. I wanted to do it
right this time.

288
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,120
Oh, wait a second.

289
00:18:56,340 --> 00:18:57,540
What do you mean, this time?

290
00:18:58,890 --> 00:19:01,910
Are you admitting that you screwed up my
Christmases? No.

291
00:19:04,170 --> 00:19:05,170
Yeah, you are.

292
00:19:05,910 --> 00:19:07,750
And you're trying to make it up to my
kids.

293
00:19:09,590 --> 00:19:11,690
I think your little Grinch heart grew
today.

294
00:19:14,470 --> 00:19:15,470
Shut up.

295
00:19:18,410 --> 00:19:19,490
Give me a hug, Mom.

296
00:19:19,710 --> 00:19:20,710
Watch it!

297
00:19:21,610 --> 00:19:25,150
I got a gun under my pillow and it
doesn't shoot paintballs.

298
00:19:26,450 --> 00:19:27,450
All right.

299
00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:30,520
Look, get your coat. Come on, Mom. Let's
go back to the house and have dinner.

300
00:19:37,100 --> 00:19:39,120
I forgot your Christmas present.

301
00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:43,340
Who was my secret Santa?

302
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:45,200
I was.

303
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:49,640
What is this crap?

304
00:19:52,380 --> 00:19:54,820
It's your bar tip from Thirsty's, Mom. I
paid it off.

305
00:20:04,910 --> 00:20:06,370
I can drink the good stuff I get.

306
00:20:09,590 --> 00:20:10,730
Merry Christmas, Bat.

307
00:20:18,490 --> 00:20:21,770
Even with the autograph covered up, this
is still the coolest thing ever.

308
00:20:22,490 --> 00:20:23,490
Thanks, Grandma.

309
00:20:24,350 --> 00:20:25,370
Come here, you.

310
00:20:27,110 --> 00:20:28,110
Oh, come on.

311
00:20:28,450 --> 00:20:29,470
I love you.

312
00:20:29,670 --> 00:20:30,670
I love you, too, Grandma.

313
00:20:30,870 --> 00:20:32,450
She doesn't love you, Max. She hates me.

314
00:20:35,470 --> 00:20:36,750
I'm sorry I ruined your present.

315
00:20:37,250 --> 00:20:39,290
So your grandma and I made a stop on the
way home.

316
00:20:39,830 --> 00:20:41,970
Let's just call it a Christmas miracle.

317
00:20:45,210 --> 00:20:46,870
No way! It's Dave Mira!

318
00:20:47,210 --> 00:20:48,450
Merry Christmas. What up, Mac?

319
00:20:49,250 --> 00:20:50,250
Can I have your autograph?

320
00:20:50,510 --> 00:20:51,510
That's what I'm here for.

321
00:20:54,330 --> 00:20:56,910
I want to compete in BMX right after I
get out of college.

322
00:20:57,410 --> 00:20:59,230
That's way too late. You sure you need
to go to college?

323
00:21:01,790 --> 00:21:04,070
Check it out, Max. Right now I'm making
bank.

324
00:21:04,570 --> 00:21:07,230
A lot of guys who go to college end up
working in factories or something.

325
00:21:10,590 --> 00:21:12,170
Just sign the paper, bike boy.

326
00:21:15,470 --> 00:21:17,470
So, where are the rest of the orphans?

327
00:21:21,210 --> 00:21:23,590
They're all gone, Dave. You know, they
make good gifts.