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SOME SAY MANHATTAN IS SHAPED
LIKE AN ISLAND.
OTHER PEOPLE SAY IT<i> IS</i> AN

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ISLAND.

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SOME PEOPLE SAY IT'S LIKE A

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SLICE OF PIZZA.

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OTHER PEOPLE SAY IT'S<i> NOT</i> LIKE A

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BUT ONE THING IS FOR SURE -- IT

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TAKES ALL KINDS TO MAKE A PIZZA

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ISLAND.

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MMM.

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 WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO, MAN?

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 AAAAH!

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 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

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"THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW"!

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OH, HI, GANG.
YOU KNOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE OUT

25
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THERE ASK ME, "ERIC, WHAT'S IT

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00:01:24,384 --> 00:01:27,085
LIKE BEING ON TV, HAVING A TV

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SHOW?"

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AND I TELL THEM...

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♪ HAVING A SHOW IS EASY

30
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ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU DON'T CARE ♪

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♪ YOU CAN EAT A BUNCH OF

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00:01:36,163 --> 00:01:37,729
GARBAGE, THEN DRAG YOUR NUTS

33
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THROUGH HANNIBAL'S HAIR

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WHILE HE'S SLEEPING, SLEEPING,

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SLEEPING ♪

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Good night.

37
00:01:49,242 --> 00:01:51,109
 WHACK.

38
00:01:54,880 --> 00:02:06,358
LET'S DO SOME "E'RICKSHAWING."

39
00:02:06,559 --> 00:02:12,397
 WHO WAS THE FIRST PRESIDENT
OF THE UNITED STATES?
 GEORGE WASHINGTON.

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 WHAT STATE IS NEW YORK CITY

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00:02:14,401 --> 00:02:14,966
IN?

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00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,635
 WHAT STATE? NEW YORK.

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 ALL RIGHT.

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WHAT DO YOU GUYS GOT TO SAY TO

45
00:02:19,272 --> 00:02:20,138
OSAMA BIN LADEN?

46
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 BIN LADEN WAS A BADASS.

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BIN LADEN WAS A MAN THAT SMOKES

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HIS GRASS.

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BIN LADEN, YOU'LL BE IN OUR

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MEMORIES.

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BIN LADEN, YOU'VE REALLY BEEN A

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GOOD FRIEND TO ME.

53
00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:36,287
 THAT GUY KILLED IT!

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WHAT DO YOU THINK OF

55
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"THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW?"

56
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 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THAT

57
00:02:39,926 --> 00:02:40,291
IS.

58
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 WHAT DO YOU THINK OF

59
00:02:41,461 --> 00:02:42,360
OSAMA BIN LADEN?

60
00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:43,461
 HE ROCKS.

61
00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:44,796
 HE DOES ROCK.

62
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ALL RIGHT. THANKS SO MUCH.

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LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HIP-HOP
POWER COUPLE, BEYONCE AND JAY-Z!

65
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 YOU BETTER MOVE.
 ALL RIGHT.
 WHAT UP?

66
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 YOU GUYS JUST HAD A BABY.

67
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 THAT'S RIGHT.

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69
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 HOVA!

70
00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:20,532
 WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?

71
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:21,533
WHAT MAKES YOU SAD?

72
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:22,634
WHAT MAKES YOU SCARED?

73
00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:24,936
 WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY IS --

74
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MM -- BEING IN LOVE.

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AND -- AND SHOPPING.

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 MM.

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80
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I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU, HONEY.

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00:03:42,223 --> 00:03:43,522
I WANT YOU TO STAY CLEAN AND

84
00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:46,591
SOBER...FOR US.

85
00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:48,093
 LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT A CLIP

86
00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:49,394
FROM YOUR NEW MUSIC VIDEO!

87
00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:51,262
 THE ROCK IS IN THE BUILDING!

88
00:03:51,464 --> 00:03:57,068


89
00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:15,353
 Y'ALL A REAL FIT AS A COUPLE.
THAT'S WHAT'S UP.

90
00:04:15,355 --> 00:04:16,621
 HEY. THANK YOU, LORD.

91
00:04:16,623 --> 00:04:17,856
 DON'T THANK THE LORD.

92
00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:19,157
I GAVE Y'ALL A COMPLIMENT.

93
00:04:19,159 --> 00:04:21,593
YOU THANK ME.

94
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:22,293


95
00:04:22,295 --> 00:04:23,495
 WHEN'S YOUR NEXT CD COMING

96
00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:24,629
OUT?

97
00:04:24,631 --> 00:04:28,800
 WHY? WHY?

98
00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:30,635
 I'M ASKING A QUESTION.

99
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100
00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:36,441
 WHAT DID I DO?

101
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102
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103
00:04:46,219 --> 00:04:47,952


104
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:50,122
 YEAH, JUST --

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106
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107
00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:07,105
 LITTLE HELP.
LITTLE HELP, PLEASE?
LITTLE HELP. ANY HELP.

108
00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:08,573
EXCUSE ME, SIR.

109
00:05:08,575 --> 00:05:09,774
DO YOU HAVE ANY MONEY?

110
00:05:09,975 --> 00:05:12,610
OKAY.

111
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:17,916
UNBELIEVABLE.
AS WE ALL KNOW, VALENTINE'S DAY
IS MONTHS AWAY!

112
00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:19,317
AND, FELLAS, I KNOW YOU WANT TO

113
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,618
COOK SOMETHING NICE FOR YOUR

114
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LADY.

115
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:22,187
SO LET'S TAKE A TRIP TO

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HANNIBAL'S KITCHEN WHERE

117
00:05:23,356 --> 00:05:24,756
HANNIBAL WILL TEACH US HOW TO

118
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MAKE SOME OF HIS WORLD-FAMOUS

119
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:28,426
DIM SUM THAT'LL DEFINITELY GET

120
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YOUR LADY IN THE MOOD.

121
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WHERE'S HANNIBAL?

122
00:05:40,339 --> 00:05:48,613
HANNIBAL?
HE'S GONE!

123
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124
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WHY?!

125
00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:56,554


126
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WHY?! [ SOBS ]

127
00:06:17,176 --> 00:06:22,113
 WE OUT OF TOILET PAPER, YO.
HANNIBAL? IS THAT YOU?

128
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I'M GONNA MEET MY FUTURE WIFE
TONIGHT!
HEY, YOU'RE REALLY BEAUTIFUL

129
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EXCEPT FOR YOUR MAN HANDS.

130
00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:35,960
 WHAT?

131
00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:37,562
 CAN I HAVE YOUR PHONE NUMBER?

132
00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:38,396
 THAT WAS AMAZING.

133
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YOU SHOULD TRY THAT LINE MORE

134
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OFTEN.

135
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:40,565


136
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 HEY. YOU LOOK STUNNINGLY

137
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BEAUTIFUL.

138
00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:43,101
 THANK YOU.

139
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:44,636
 YOU LOOK LIKE A GIRL THAT,

140
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LIKE, REALLY ENJOYS DORITOS.

141
00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:46,938
 UH...

142
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:49,207
 [ LAUGHS ] WHAT THE [BLEEP]

143
00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:50,308
 YOU'RE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL

144
00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:51,509
WOMAN I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.

145
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 OH, WHY THANK YOU.

146
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 [BLEEP] OFF.

147
00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:54,212
 CAN I GET YOUR PHONE NUMBER?

148
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 ALL RIGHT.

149
00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:56,314
 YOU TALKING TO ME?

150
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 YEAH.

151
00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:57,815
I'M SORRY.

152
00:06:57,817 --> 00:06:59,217
 HERE'S A CHINESE FINGER TRAP.

153
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:00,551
 YOU HAVE PURPLE FINGERNAILS.

154
00:07:00,553 --> 00:07:01,753
AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE YOU

155
00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:02,620
SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?

156
00:07:02,622 --> 00:07:03,521
 YEAH. ABSOLUTELY.

157
00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:04,289
JUST TAKE THIS.

158
00:07:04,291 --> 00:07:05,957
AND TAKE MY PHONE NUMBER.

159
00:07:05,959 --> 00:07:06,958
 TAKE YOUR PHONE NUMBER?

160
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:07,392
 YEAH.

161
00:07:07,394 --> 00:07:07,959


162
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:08,693
 AND TAKE THIS.

163
00:07:08,695 --> 00:07:09,460
TAKE THESE MARBLES.

164
00:07:09,462 --> 00:07:10,662
 CAN I HAVE YOUR PHONE

165
00:07:10,664 --> 00:07:11,195
NUMBER?

166
00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:12,363
 TAKE THESE MARBLES.

167
00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:13,398


168
00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:13,698
 THANK YOU.

169
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:14,933
 PISS OFF!

170
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,167
WHAT ARE YOU DOING SATURDAY?

171
00:07:16,368 --> 00:07:19,637


172
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PLEASE WELCOME EVANGELOS!

173
00:07:28,580 --> 00:07:31,516


174
00:07:31,717 --> 00:07:39,324
 WALKING WITH YOU, HAND IN
HAND AT THE DAWN, LIFE SEEMS SO
EASY WITH YOU TO HOLD ON.

175
00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:40,892
WITH, UH...LINE?

176
00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:41,993
I'M SORRY.

177
00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:43,161


178
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♪ WALKING WITH YOU, HAND IN

179
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:47,332
HAND, LIFE SEEMS SO EASY WITH

180
00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:49,167
YOU... ♪

181
00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:51,803


182
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183
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,406
I'M ALL FLUSTERED NOW.

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UH...

185
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186
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187
00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:02,547
YOU AND I BELIEVE IN LOVE?

188
00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:04,048
HOW ABOUT THAT?

189
00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:05,717
"YOU AND I BELIEVE IT LOVE."

190
00:08:05,719 --> 00:08:06,551


191
00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:07,885
"YOUR LOVE NEVER DIES."

192
00:08:07,887 --> 00:08:09,320
THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOU...

193
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:09,854
OKAY.

194
00:08:09,856 --> 00:08:11,789
YOU AND I BELIEVE IN LULLABIES,

195
00:08:11,791 --> 00:08:13,458
THIS IS WHY OUR LOVE KEEPS

196
00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:15,193
GROWING STRONG.

197
00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:17,228
YOU AND LIE -- YOU AND I

198
00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:19,797
BELIEVE LOVE -- LOVE NEVER DIES.

199
00:08:19,799 --> 00:08:21,566


200
00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:24,269


201
00:08:24,771 --> 00:08:26,437


202
00:08:26,439 --> 00:08:28,339
 EXCELLENT.

203
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:30,441
HEY, BUDDY BOY!

204
00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:31,943
HOW YOU DOING, MAN?

205
00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:33,778
GOOD TO SEE YOU.

206
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:36,681
WHAT'S HAPPENING?

207
00:08:36,882 --> 00:08:42,053
 EVANGELOS.

208
00:08:42,254 --> 00:08:46,190
 WELL, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THAT'S BEEN EVANGELOS!
THANK YOU!

209
00:08:49,128 --> 00:08:55,800
EXCUSE ME, DUDE.
HEY, UM, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT
"THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW?"

210
00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:58,069
 WHAT THE HELL?

211
00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:00,004
 WHAT COULD YOU SAY TO IMPROVE

212
00:09:00,006 --> 00:09:01,639


213
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:02,340
 LEAVE IT ALONE.

214
00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:04,575
 RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU.

215
00:09:04,577 --> 00:09:05,777
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE

216
00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:07,111
WELCOME OUR NEXT GUEST, STAR OF

217
00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:08,946
"EDEN'S WORLD," 7-YEAR-OLD

218
00:09:08,948 --> 00:09:10,381
EDEN WOOD!

219
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,016


220
00:09:12,018 --> 00:09:15,086


221
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:18,122
 ♪ MAMA ALWAYS SAYS TO ME I'M

222
00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:20,591
AS LUCKY AS A GIRL CAN BE ♪

223
00:09:20,793 --> 00:09:26,497
♪ TRAVELIN' THE WORLD IN A BIG
OLD PLANE, ACROSS THE MILES,
PEOPLE KNOW MY NAME ♪

224
00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:27,965
♪ WHEN THE SHOW'S DONE, MY

225
00:09:27,967 --> 00:09:29,033
SEQUINS COME OFF ♪

226
00:09:29,035 --> 00:09:30,935
♪ HEADED TO A FARM AND AN OLD

227
00:09:30,937 --> 00:09:31,836
HAY LOFT ♪

228
00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:33,805
♪ BEST OF BOTH WORLDS IT SEEMS

229
00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:34,739
TO BE ♪

230
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,874
♪ BUT IN MY HEART I'M A COUNTRY

231
00:09:36,876 --> 00:09:39,010
QUEEN ♪

232
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:41,612
♪ COUNTRY QUEEN, COUNTRY QUEEN ♪

233
00:09:41,614 --> 00:09:43,314
♪ TRAVELIN' THE WORLD, LIVIN'

234
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:44,315
THE DREAM ♪

235
00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:47,185


236
00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:48,186
♪ MY JOHN DEERE'S PINK AND MY

237
00:09:48,688 --> 00:09:53,091
BONNET'S GREEN ♪

238
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,893


239
00:10:07,739 --> 00:10:13,511
♪ QUEEN, COUNTRY QUEEN ♪
♪ TRAVELIN' THE WORLD, LIVIN'
THE DREAM ♪

240
00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:16,280
♪ COUNTRY QUEEN, COUNTRY QUEEN ♪

241
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:22,253
 AAAAAAAAH.

242
00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:24,322
 I'M A COUNTRY QUEEN!

243
00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:25,323


244
00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:28,459
 I SALUTE YOU.

245
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:31,229


246
00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:33,464


247
00:10:38,770 --> 00:10:39,937
EVANGELOS.