1 00:00:07,175 --> 00:00:09,143 Pauline. Hi, I'm Adam Freeman. Ah. 2 00:00:09,177 --> 00:00:11,245 Nice to meet you. If you want to grab a seat Very nice to meet you. 3 00:00:11,279 --> 00:00:12,846 in the chair here, we're ready for you. Hmm. 4 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:14,482 Um, thank you again for doing this. My pleasure. 5 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:16,484 We really appreciate it. Shouldn't be more than... 6 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,219 maybe an hour or two, if you have it. 7 00:00:18,252 --> 00:00:19,487 Just a little bit. 8 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:20,921 PAULINE: Working for Bob, 9 00:00:20,954 --> 00:00:23,391 I'd come to feel like a doormat. 10 00:00:23,424 --> 00:00:25,193 Only, you know, the kind of doormat 11 00:00:25,226 --> 00:00:27,428 that's holding up the whole house. 12 00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:30,164 Um, at the time, I was... 13 00:00:30,198 --> 00:00:33,334 I was going with a very pleasant mortgage broker, 14 00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:36,770 Howard, and I thought, 15 00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:40,741 "What if I follow Howard on his transfer to Pontiac, Michigan 16 00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:44,745 and try to find reward in simple domesticity?" 17 00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:47,248 But I read in the free press 18 00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:50,017 about someone in Detroit 19 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:53,954 filming veterans' testimony on war crimes, 20 00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:55,923 so I turned up. 21 00:00:55,956 --> 00:00:58,126 Asked if I could help on set. 22 00:00:58,159 --> 00:01:00,194 Not knowing that there would be 23 00:01:00,228 --> 00:01:02,896 so much more opportunity for me in documentary 24 00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:04,532 than in Hollywood feature films. 25 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:07,401 How did you come to reconnect with Joan Crawford? 26 00:01:07,435 --> 00:01:11,639 I ran into her at LaGuardia. 27 00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:16,076 Um, she was wearing a Pepto pink dress 28 00:01:16,110 --> 00:01:19,813 and a mask of chalk-white foundation, 29 00:01:19,847 --> 00:01:21,315 being wheeled through the airport 30 00:01:21,349 --> 00:01:23,951 with broken ankles, drunk. 31 00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:27,455 Alone. 32 00:01:27,488 --> 00:01:29,790 And for all our past difficulties, 33 00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:34,061 when I touched her arm, she cried. 34 00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,996 She called me "old friend" 35 00:01:36,029 --> 00:01:39,800 and asked me to visit her in Manhattan. 36 00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:44,205 She seemed very much tossed away. 37 00:01:46,474 --> 00:01:48,442 * 38 00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:53,514 * Raindrops keep fallin' on my head * 39 00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:56,950 * And just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed * 40 00:01:56,984 --> 00:02:00,188 * Nothing seems to fit... * No, Roz. 41 00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:01,755 Easy Rider. 42 00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:03,457 You know, the one where the actor 43 00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:07,261 is dressed all in fringe like an Indian chief. 44 00:02:07,295 --> 00:02:10,864 And that Jack Nicholson, is he vaguely cross-eyed? 45 00:02:10,898 --> 00:02:11,865 (microwave dings) 46 00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:14,202 * And I said * 47 00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:18,339 * I didn't like the way he got things done * Oh! Aah! 48 00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:20,608 * Sleeping on the job... * 49 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:23,677 MAN: We got the same harried situation 50 00:02:23,711 --> 00:02:27,014 when we dropped in to pick up wounded soldiers. 51 00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:29,149 It's typical of the Viet... 52 00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:31,785 MAN 2: When the attention of the hijackers was diverted, 53 00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:35,055 the two hostages slipped from the rear door... 54 00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:36,224 MAN 3: Don't you like dancing? 55 00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:37,791 WOMAN: No, not with strangers. 56 00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:39,660 MAN 3: Never? WOMAN: Never. 57 00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:41,729 MAN 3: Thanks very much. 58 00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:43,364 WOMAN: Not at all. 59 00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:44,865 * Till happiness * 60 00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:48,536 * Steps up to greet me * 61 00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:56,644 * Raindrops keep fallin' on my head * (sighs) 62 00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:58,579 * But that doesn't mean my eyes * 63 00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:02,082 * Will soon be turning red * 64 00:03:02,115 --> 00:03:05,653 * Crying's not for me, 'cause * 65 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:09,323 * I'm never gonna stop the rain by complaining... * 66 00:03:09,357 --> 00:03:13,060 Carl, it's Joan Crawford. 67 00:03:13,093 --> 00:03:15,263 I'm so terribly sorry, 68 00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:18,499 but I'm not going to be able to meet you for lunch today. 69 00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:20,334 No. 70 00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:23,070 Please excuse me. Thank you. 71 00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:24,772 * The blues they send to meet me * 72 00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:26,374 * Won't defeat me * 73 00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:31,845 * It won't be long till happiness * 74 00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:35,649 * Steps up to greet me... * 75 00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:41,255 (chuckles) 76 00:03:41,289 --> 00:03:42,790 Look! 77 00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:44,525 Here's your new home. 78 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:47,761 Yes. 79 00:03:47,795 --> 00:03:49,430 Yes. 80 00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:52,433 * It won't be long * 81 00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:56,103 * Till happiness steps up * 82 00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:59,373 * To greet me * 83 00:03:59,407 --> 00:04:01,609 (puppy whines, doorbell buzzes) 84 00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:04,612 * Raindrops keep fallin' on my head... * 85 00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:06,780 I will make myself available to you 86 00:04:06,814 --> 00:04:08,649 on a part-time basis. 87 00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:11,752 * Will soon be turning red * 88 00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:14,221 * Crying's not for me... * 89 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:17,891 Princess Lotus Blossom, 90 00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:19,793 this is Mamacita. 91 00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:23,664 (chuckles) * Because I'm free * 92 00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:28,969 * Nothing's worrying me. * 93 00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:36,644 * 94 00:05:07,875 --> 00:05:10,878 * 95 00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:39,773 (seagulls chirping, waves crashing) 96 00:05:58,459 --> 00:06:02,029 I, uh, told my mother the great Joan Crawford... Ah. 97 00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:03,497 ...was on the books today. 98 00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:04,932 She made me promise to ask 99 00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:06,333 when you'll reteam with Bette Davis. 100 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,268 (chuckles) 101 00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:10,771 It hurts. 102 00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:13,106 Yeah. The infections are pretty severe. 103 00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:16,109 And by my count, you're missing six molars? 104 00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:17,711 Extractions. 105 00:06:17,745 --> 00:06:19,413 What kind of medieval dental practice 106 00:06:19,447 --> 00:06:22,082 extracts six teeth without putting in implants? 107 00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:24,418 I did it when I was 23. 108 00:06:24,452 --> 00:06:26,587 It's called "the buckle." 109 00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:28,355 When you remove the back teeth, 110 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:32,225 your cheeks curve in at a more elegant angle. 111 00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:36,129 Why the heck would you do that? 112 00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:40,200 My agent told me if I wanted to work past 25, 113 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:43,937 I should invest in a set of cheekbones. 114 00:06:43,971 --> 00:06:46,907 You can't catch their eye if you can't catch the light, 115 00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:49,409 so I did the buckle. It was not uncommon. 116 00:06:49,443 --> 00:06:53,213 It's also led to bone loss. 117 00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,282 There's barely anything holding your remaining teeth in place. 118 00:06:55,315 --> 00:06:56,717 (chuckles) 119 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,318 Well, you know what they say about stars. 120 00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:00,588 They're like Christmas trees. 121 00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:02,089 Once the lights are off, 122 00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:04,492 you sit there and watch the needles drop. 123 00:07:07,461 --> 00:07:09,797 I'm gonna recommend you to a periodontist 124 00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:11,164 to operate on the infections 125 00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:13,100 and get you on Darvocet for the pain, 126 00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:15,503 but your problems are gonna get a lot worse 127 00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:17,404 unless we take care of the other offenders: 128 00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:20,273 the old caps, the teeth pushing into open spaces. Mm-hmm. 129 00:07:20,307 --> 00:07:23,343 I want to fit you for an overdenture. 130 00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:25,012 (chuckles) 131 00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:26,814 A denture. Mmm. 132 00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:28,315 No. 133 00:07:28,348 --> 00:07:30,751 I'll do the surgery if I have to, 134 00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,920 but no dentures. 135 00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,988 I'd rather spit blood into a sink 136 00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:38,291 than look like Martha Raye. 137 00:07:38,325 --> 00:07:40,694 Miss Crawford, at your age, 138 00:07:40,728 --> 00:07:42,963 you need to worry more about staying healthy 139 00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:46,634 than staying photogenic. 140 00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:50,170 I'll stop worrying about how I look 141 00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:53,140 when they dip me in formaldehyde. 142 00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:55,475 MAMACITA: Miss Joan, 143 00:07:55,509 --> 00:07:58,011 time to wake up. (puppy yips) 144 00:07:58,045 --> 00:08:01,348 Up, up, up. 145 00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:02,783 Your agent called. 146 00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:05,619 He wants to meet with you this evening. 147 00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:07,154 Stan? 148 00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:10,624 I... I haven't talked to him in months. 149 00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:12,359 The Missing Link? 150 00:08:12,392 --> 00:08:14,695 It's a B movie. I told them you wouldn't be interested. 151 00:08:14,728 --> 00:08:16,630 Well, who would I play? 152 00:08:16,664 --> 00:08:19,132 You'd play an anthropologist 153 00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:21,501 who has discovered a caveman 154 00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:24,137 who has been preserved for millennia in ice. 155 00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:26,139 A scientist? 156 00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:29,509 (chuckles) 157 00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:33,513 Oh, I had dreamed of playing Madame Curie. 158 00:08:33,547 --> 00:08:35,482 When I was at MGM, 159 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:39,519 I begged Louie to cast me in that picture, but... 160 00:08:39,553 --> 00:08:40,888 Well, this is hardly that, Joan. 161 00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:42,155 It's not MGM. 162 00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:43,757 It's more like a Hammer Horror picture. 163 00:08:43,791 --> 00:08:46,560 I'd advise against it. 164 00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:47,928 I'll do it. 165 00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:48,996 Joan. 166 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:50,731 Look, Stan... 167 00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:53,066 I need to work. 168 00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:54,534 And if I deliver 169 00:08:54,568 --> 00:08:55,936 a fine performance 170 00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:58,772 in an independent picture... 171 00:08:58,806 --> 00:09:03,076 I mean, you know how the Academy loves to reward 172 00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:05,445 that kind of star turn. 173 00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:08,048 They're not paying much. 174 00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:09,850 I'll accept a reduced salary, 175 00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:13,086 but will they cover the travel expenses for my maid? 176 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:14,421 I'm afraid not. 177 00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:15,723 Hmm. 178 00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:21,461 Well, it'll be an adventure. 179 00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:24,231 Well, let's talk about the other very generous offer 180 00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:25,465 from Simon and Schuster. 181 00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:29,402 Lifestyle advice book for women. 182 00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:31,639 How does Joan Crawford keep her house? 183 00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:33,741 How does she throw a dinner party? 184 00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:35,943 How does she maintain those famous legs? 185 00:09:35,976 --> 00:09:38,545 (chuckles) Is there still a market 186 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,080 for something like that? 187 00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:41,649 Of course there is, Joan. 188 00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:43,283 You're an icon. 189 00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:45,953 We'll get you a state of the art tape recorder. 190 00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:47,554 You can get your thoughts down. 191 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,556 We'll hire someone to type it up. 192 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:52,225 And if the book is a hit, potentially, 193 00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:54,728 it's a huge branding opportunity. 194 00:09:54,762 --> 00:09:56,930 Joan Crawford luggage, 195 00:09:56,964 --> 00:09:59,132 Joan Crawford dinnerware, 196 00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:02,169 Joan Crawford plastic furniture covers. 197 00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:06,506 I would love that. 198 00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:08,709 (horn honks) 199 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:26,526 Oh, sorry. 200 00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:38,038 Joan Crawford. 201 00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:39,807 4,000 miles from home, 202 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:42,042 and you look like you stepped off the pages 203 00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:43,877 of McCall's. 204 00:10:43,911 --> 00:10:46,313 Freddie Francis, your director. 205 00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:48,548 Oh. (chuckles) 206 00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:50,150 I don't look a mess? 207 00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:52,886 You know, the car never arrived 208 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:54,321 to take me to the hotel, 209 00:10:54,354 --> 00:10:55,823 so I had to hire a cab 210 00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:57,958 to bring me straight here from the airport. 211 00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:00,360 My apologies. We're still getting our little production 212 00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:01,528 up on its feet. 213 00:11:01,561 --> 00:11:02,796 But rest assured, 214 00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:05,833 Trog is going to be a first-rate production. 215 00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:08,535 Trog? What is Trog? 216 00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:10,303 Oh, as in troglodyte. 217 00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,539 Trog-- it's the title of the movie. 218 00:11:12,572 --> 00:11:15,843 I thought the picture was entitled The Missing Link. 219 00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:19,146 We changed it to pop out on the posters. 220 00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:22,850 Picture it: Trog. (chuckles) 221 00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:30,390 And what is that? 222 00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:32,159 Oh, uh, your co-star. 223 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,094 Trog. 224 00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:36,229 But he has no hair on his arms 225 00:11:36,263 --> 00:11:38,031 or his legs. 226 00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:40,000 Well, you two will be sharing a makeup table, 227 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:43,737 so perhaps you can help refine his look. 228 00:11:43,771 --> 00:11:46,907 You mean I don't have a private dressing room? 229 00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:50,878 Well, our budget doesn't really allow for such luxuries. 230 00:11:50,911 --> 00:11:52,946 And when we're out on location, 231 00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:56,116 am I expected to change behind a bush? 232 00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:58,385 Oh, certainly not. We've got you a vehicle. 233 00:11:58,418 --> 00:11:59,787 What kind of vehicle? 234 00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:06,626 We can put in some curtains. 235 00:12:12,099 --> 00:12:14,501 (hammering, distant chatter) 236 00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:24,945 (laughs) 237 00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:30,583 Whoa. (table squeaks) 238 00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:46,967 This is Joan Crawford. 239 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:50,437 Let's begin with my point of view. 240 00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:54,307 I always say, treasure yourself. 241 00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:57,911 I do a certain amount of self-pampering. 242 00:12:57,945 --> 00:12:59,446 * This is the end... * 243 00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:01,614 I surround myself with happy colors. 244 00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:05,185 Have you worked with Freddie Francis before? 245 00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:10,790 * This is the end, my only friend... * 246 00:13:10,824 --> 00:13:13,994 I sit on hard chairs. 247 00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:17,097 Soft ones spread the hips. 248 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:20,167 People ask me if I turn up at board meetings 249 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,535 wearing tailored costumes and muted colors. 250 00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:24,972 Oh, no. 251 00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:27,374 I wear shocking pink and lovely hats. 252 00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:29,609 No man ever did a poor job 253 00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:32,779 because he had an attractive woman to look at. 254 00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:35,282 * I'll never look... * 255 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:38,118 Every woman tries to be a good mother, and then wonders, 256 00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,053 if after all her efforts, 257 00:13:40,087 --> 00:13:42,489 her children will wind up on a head shrinker's couch 258 00:13:42,522 --> 00:13:43,857 complaining about their bad treatment. 259 00:13:43,891 --> 00:13:45,392 FREDDY: Joan? 260 00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:48,828 * Can you picture what will be * 261 00:13:48,862 --> 00:13:53,800 (whirring) * So limitless and free * 262 00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:56,336 (Trog groans) * Desperately... * 263 00:13:56,369 --> 00:14:00,707 I mistrust people who don't like animals. 264 00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:03,810 That's fine, Trog. 265 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,812 He understands. 266 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,847 (groans) 267 00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:10,317 The prime objective of our program is 268 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,352 to gradually pull Trog 269 00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:16,756 across a time span right into the heart of the 20th century. 270 00:14:16,789 --> 00:14:18,491 Seems like an impulsive... 271 00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:19,993 I'm so sorry. Excuse me. 272 00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:21,694 Is there 273 00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:24,998 any way to say this with fewer words? 274 00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:27,067 And action. 275 00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:31,071 If he's as old as you say he is, how did he survive? 276 00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:34,841 Uh, conceivably, Trog, uh, was frozen solid 277 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:38,745 during the long, long... glacial age. 278 00:14:38,778 --> 00:14:43,450 Uh, a-a state similar to... chyro... I'm sorry. 279 00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:45,953 Let me start that. A state similar to 280 00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:48,922 chyro... uh, suspen... 281 00:14:48,956 --> 00:14:51,124 I'm sorry, could you give me the line, please? 282 00:14:51,158 --> 00:14:53,593 Can we get the cue cards for Joan? 283 00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:56,263 Oh, I... I... All right. 284 00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:58,431 JOAN: There are no hard and fast rules 285 00:14:58,465 --> 00:15:00,800 for fending off an outright pass, 286 00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:03,236 especially if it comes from the boss. 287 00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:07,207 Every intelligent woman has her own method of turning it down 288 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:10,677 without wounding a sensitive male ego. 289 00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:14,381 Join us for a pint. 290 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,049 Oh. 291 00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:18,418 Thank you very much, but I simply can't. (laughs) 292 00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:20,820 An even cleverer woman knows how 293 00:15:20,853 --> 00:15:23,590 to prevent the pass in the first place. 294 00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:26,426 If you can't control your cleavage, your perfume, 295 00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:28,228 your walk and your eyelashes, 296 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:31,298 you'd better stay out of the business. 297 00:15:31,331 --> 00:15:36,269 Here are a few items no dieter should ever have in the house: 298 00:15:36,303 --> 00:15:39,739 peas, lima beans, avocadoes, olives, 299 00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:43,476 dried beans, corn, butter, most cheese. 300 00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:48,481 Creamed chicken with mash potatoes makes too much mush. 301 00:15:48,515 --> 00:15:52,185 Always serve something crisp with something soft. 302 00:15:52,219 --> 00:15:55,122 FREDDY: It's just beginning to ring a bell in your head, yes. 303 00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:57,124 Now it's becoming clear, clearer. (Trog groaning) 304 00:15:57,157 --> 00:15:59,159 You're remembering the attack on your village. 305 00:15:59,192 --> 00:16:01,661 Yes, yes. JOAN: All the beauty products in the world 306 00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:04,331 can't disguise a disagreeable expression. 307 00:16:04,364 --> 00:16:06,299 Have you ever noticed that when you say, 308 00:16:06,333 --> 00:16:10,637 "no," you resemble a prune-faced schoolmarm? 309 00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:11,971 Well, let's shoot it. 310 00:16:12,005 --> 00:16:15,375 Remind you of your youth at MGM, Joan? 311 00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:19,646 * Seven miles... * 312 00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:22,982 JOAN: I feel as if clothes are people. 313 00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:25,618 When I buy a dress, that's a new friend. 314 00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:28,721 I have a tremendous respect for fabrics. 315 00:16:28,755 --> 00:16:32,959 (sighs) * And his skin is cold... * 316 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:35,062 She's been spending her nights here. 317 00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:37,730 Says she's practicing her blocking. 318 00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:42,635 But tonight, she just seems a wee bitty lost. 319 00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:47,240 ...is a living reminder of our ancestors who... 320 00:16:47,274 --> 00:16:49,509 JOAN: I don't know this. Leave her alone. 321 00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:51,010 JOAN: The apes 322 00:16:51,044 --> 00:16:53,280 who left the forest and... 323 00:16:55,715 --> 00:16:58,051 JOAN: I love people. 324 00:16:58,085 --> 00:17:02,055 I've been asked if I ever go around in disguise. Never! 325 00:17:02,089 --> 00:17:05,024 I want to be recognized. 326 00:17:05,058 --> 00:17:08,528 When I hear people say, "There's Joan Crawford," 327 00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:12,532 I turn around and say, "Hi. How are you?" 328 00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:16,035 * Of some stranger's hand * 329 00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:22,942 * The end of laughter * 330 00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:26,079 * And soft lies * 331 00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:32,085 * The end of nights * 332 00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:37,757 * We tried to die * 333 00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:54,941 * This is the end. * 334 00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:57,310 (door bells jingle) 335 00:17:57,344 --> 00:17:59,146 Make it to Brenda. 336 00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:00,913 Yes. 337 00:18:00,947 --> 00:18:04,117 Wow. You're even more glamorous in real life. 338 00:18:04,151 --> 00:18:06,886 (laughs) Thank you, Brenda. 339 00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:09,122 I hope you enjoy reading my beauty secrets 340 00:18:09,156 --> 00:18:10,623 I've picked up over the years. 341 00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:12,091 Oh. 342 00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:13,826 Is there stuff about Trog in there? 343 00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:15,995 I've seen it six times. 344 00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:17,430 "Trog, stop it." 345 00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:19,166 (laughing): What a riot. 346 00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:21,801 Brenda, there's a long line of readers wondering 347 00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:25,905 what makes you so special as to monopolize all my time. 348 00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,507 (quiet laughter) 349 00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:31,244 (camera shutter clicking) 350 00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:35,582 These people aren't here to buy the book for my advice. 351 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,750 They're here to buy it to mock me. 352 00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:39,952 Well, you should be grateful for the turnout. 353 00:18:39,986 --> 00:18:42,088 They've hardly been buying it at all. 354 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,990 MAN: If you don't mind, I have 355 00:18:44,023 --> 00:18:45,425 two items for you to sign. 356 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:48,995 Baby Jane. 357 00:18:49,028 --> 00:18:51,798 Why don't you have a picture 358 00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:54,834 from Grand Hotel, or Mildred Pierce, or 359 00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:58,104 any of the 30 years of pictures I made 360 00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,106 before Baby fucking Jane? 361 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:02,509 I like all your movies, Miss Crawford, 362 00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:05,978 but this one is special to me. 363 00:19:06,012 --> 00:19:07,880 Why? Because you think it's funny? 364 00:19:07,914 --> 00:19:10,883 No. I mean, yeah, it's funny. 365 00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:16,456 But I love it because Blanche and Baby Jane are cast aside, 366 00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:18,691 beaten down and forgotten, 367 00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:21,494 but they never give up hope that they'll rise again. 368 00:19:21,528 --> 00:19:24,197 They're survivors. 369 00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,605 What do you know about survival? 370 00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:38,811 (crowd murmuring) 371 00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:41,848 (horn honks) 372 00:19:50,056 --> 00:19:53,260 Why are they running these pictures of us? 373 00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:54,527 They're awful. 374 00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:56,095 It is not so bad. 375 00:19:56,128 --> 00:19:59,065 It's monstrous. That's why they're running them. 376 00:19:59,098 --> 00:20:01,501 Poor Roz-- she's fighting leukemia, 377 00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:03,436 no wonder her face is as big as a moon, 378 00:20:03,470 --> 00:20:07,940 but there must have been better pictures of me. 379 00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:10,743 You were tired and emotional. 380 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:16,416 Is that really how I look? 381 00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:22,955 (sighs) 382 00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:26,426 Well, if that's how they see me, they'll never see me again. 383 00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:28,861 Stan, 384 00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:33,566 I want you to stop submitting me for roles. 385 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,668 I'm done. 386 00:20:37,470 --> 00:20:39,872 PAULINE: You know, in Japan, 387 00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:43,710 when you turn 60, you put on this bright red hat, 388 00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:45,712 and you celebrate kanreki. 389 00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:48,214 It's your second childhood. 390 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:51,117 Life isn't over. It's just beginning. 391 00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:56,423 Can I ask you something? Is your grandmother still alive? 392 00:20:56,456 --> 00:20:58,558 ADAM: Yes. 393 00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:00,993 Give her a call. 394 00:21:15,475 --> 00:21:17,310 Oh, looks comfortable. Isn't comfortable. 395 00:21:17,344 --> 00:21:21,247 So, Victor, after all the drama involved in its production, 396 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:22,982 how do you think Charlotte turned out? 397 00:21:23,015 --> 00:21:24,751 Have you interviewed Bette yet? 398 00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:26,753 She's rescheduled on us a number of times. 399 00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:28,254 Well, there'll be hell to pay 400 00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,289 if she finds herself unfairly maligned, 401 00:21:30,323 --> 00:21:34,494 but at the risk of taking my lashes, I'll tell you. 402 00:21:34,527 --> 00:21:37,263 I think Charlotte was just okay. 403 00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:39,332 It didn't have the magic of Baby Jane, 404 00:21:39,366 --> 00:21:40,767 and the New York Times 405 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:44,103 called Bette's performance "resentable." 406 00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:45,938 Hmm. Was she upset? Oh. 407 00:21:45,972 --> 00:21:48,274 Failure made her desperate. 408 00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:50,777 She was sure that every job she got would be her last. 409 00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:53,980 She snatched up every offer that came her way, 410 00:21:54,013 --> 00:21:55,314 and she lost that special something 411 00:21:55,348 --> 00:21:57,016 that I considered her signature. 412 00:21:57,049 --> 00:21:59,686 What was that? 413 00:21:59,719 --> 00:22:01,454 Her high standards. 414 00:22:01,488 --> 00:22:03,122 Do you think my type is coming back? 415 00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:04,190 (audience laughs) 416 00:22:04,223 --> 00:22:06,192 So it's top secret. 417 00:22:06,225 --> 00:22:10,329 If any man in Washington can declassify it for me, you can. 418 00:22:10,363 --> 00:22:11,798 VICTOR: Eight 419 00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:13,299 pilots she made. 420 00:22:13,332 --> 00:22:15,502 It was like Miles Davis playing jingles 421 00:22:15,535 --> 00:22:16,969 for lunch meat commercials. 422 00:22:17,003 --> 00:22:18,838 And I've told her this to her face. 423 00:22:18,871 --> 00:22:21,307 We're friends because I tell the truth. 424 00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:25,311 But... what devastated her, in fact, 425 00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:28,381 was that the force of her talent wasn't even enough 426 00:22:28,415 --> 00:22:31,050 to get one of the eight bought for series. 427 00:22:31,083 --> 00:22:32,685 BETTE: What idiots 428 00:22:32,719 --> 00:22:34,987 are these businessmen that they pay for a pilot 429 00:22:35,021 --> 00:22:37,424 and then they don't bother to put it on the air. 430 00:22:37,457 --> 00:22:39,392 They must make measure 431 00:22:39,426 --> 00:22:41,994 of whether the shows will be losers over time. 432 00:22:42,028 --> 00:22:44,731 Plenty of losers get bought. Why not mine? 433 00:22:44,764 --> 00:22:47,567 Is that really what you want, my dear? 434 00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:50,837 To spend your years in Burbank, playing a hypochondriac judge? 435 00:22:50,870 --> 00:22:53,105 Oh, I don't know how this happened. 436 00:22:53,139 --> 00:22:55,775 Hepburn is off doing Albee and Tennessee Williams 437 00:22:55,808 --> 00:22:57,910 and being nominated for Academy Awards. 438 00:22:57,944 --> 00:22:59,679 Am I not 439 00:22:59,712 --> 00:23:01,180 every bit her equal? 440 00:23:01,213 --> 00:23:03,382 Am I not every bit as interesting as she is? 441 00:23:03,416 --> 00:23:04,784 How does she manage? 442 00:23:04,817 --> 00:23:07,454 But Katharine sometimes says no. 443 00:23:07,487 --> 00:23:10,056 Well, she doesn't have to support children, does she? 444 00:23:10,089 --> 00:23:11,858 And she's a snob. 445 00:23:11,891 --> 00:23:13,793 Did you know that 446 00:23:13,826 --> 00:23:15,361 Life magazine wanted 447 00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:16,929 to photograph the two of us together? 448 00:23:16,963 --> 00:23:18,364 The two legends. 449 00:23:18,397 --> 00:23:20,366 I bought a flight to New York, 450 00:23:20,399 --> 00:23:22,469 and she ignored their calls. 451 00:23:22,502 --> 00:23:24,571 Life magazine! 452 00:23:24,604 --> 00:23:28,240 And when she finally answered them... 453 00:23:28,274 --> 00:23:30,910 she said she didn't want to pose with me. 454 00:23:30,943 --> 00:23:34,447 Nothing good can come from comparing yourself. 455 00:23:39,251 --> 00:23:43,155 If Katharine were sitting right there... 456 00:23:43,189 --> 00:23:46,693 you know what I'd say to her? 457 00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:51,498 I would say... 458 00:23:51,531 --> 00:23:54,266 "I pity you. 459 00:23:54,300 --> 00:23:59,472 "I have had an experience that you will never have. 460 00:23:59,506 --> 00:24:02,174 "And thank God I had it, 461 00:24:02,208 --> 00:24:07,446 because... I have the love of my children." 462 00:24:10,449 --> 00:24:12,451 (Bette coughing) 463 00:24:15,855 --> 00:24:18,525 Oh. What, no kiss for Mother? 464 00:24:18,558 --> 00:24:20,092 Not with a cough like that. 465 00:24:20,126 --> 00:24:23,095 (coughing) 466 00:24:23,129 --> 00:24:25,431 Oh, Christ. 467 00:24:25,464 --> 00:24:29,435 Old Hollywood is really over. 468 00:24:29,468 --> 00:24:32,672 Look at this place. It's really gone down. 469 00:24:32,705 --> 00:24:36,475 Just hope the food is still good. 470 00:24:38,477 --> 00:24:42,381 I was so looking forward to a real girls' lunch. 471 00:24:42,414 --> 00:24:44,684 Let's make a day of it, hon. Seems as if they don't 472 00:24:44,717 --> 00:24:46,485 have barbershops in Pennsylvania. 473 00:24:46,519 --> 00:24:48,655 Why don't I take you to my salon? 474 00:24:48,688 --> 00:24:50,690 Jeremy likes my hair this way. Well, 475 00:24:50,723 --> 00:24:54,226 of course. It's in keeping with his caveman sensibility. 476 00:24:54,260 --> 00:24:55,795 (laughing) 477 00:24:55,828 --> 00:24:58,831 I'm kidding, darling. 478 00:24:58,865 --> 00:25:01,568 Well, Jeremy's old-school ways seem to suit you. 479 00:25:01,601 --> 00:25:03,035 Everyone thought you'd be divorced by 18, 480 00:25:03,069 --> 00:25:04,704 and look at you-- you're still in love. 481 00:25:04,737 --> 00:25:06,305 It's marvelous. 482 00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:09,208 Why don't we ask him 483 00:25:09,241 --> 00:25:11,043 to join us this afternoon? 484 00:25:11,077 --> 00:25:13,646 And we could take the children to the observatory. 485 00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:16,248 Jeremy went back to Pennsylvania. 486 00:25:16,282 --> 00:25:18,017 With the boys. 487 00:25:18,050 --> 00:25:20,587 What? But they were meant to spend the rest of the week 488 00:25:20,620 --> 00:25:23,155 with me. I... I booked an acting coach for Ashley 489 00:25:23,189 --> 00:25:25,057 to help him with his diction, 490 00:25:25,091 --> 00:25:27,493 and we've had plans for the zoo. You... My children 491 00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:29,929 aren't staying with you ever again, Mother. 492 00:25:29,962 --> 00:25:31,898 Ashley told us 493 00:25:31,931 --> 00:25:34,533 you beat on his baby brother last night. 494 00:25:34,567 --> 00:25:36,703 (gasps) Well, I did no such thing. 495 00:25:36,736 --> 00:25:38,771 Wh... Why would he say that? 496 00:25:38,805 --> 00:25:40,506 You didn't beat Justin for crying 497 00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:42,174 when Jeremy and I left for the hotel? 498 00:25:42,208 --> 00:25:44,076 Oh, I swatted him. 499 00:25:44,110 --> 00:25:47,079 He was throwing a temper tantrum, he was out of control. 500 00:25:47,113 --> 00:25:49,115 You traumatized him. B.D., 501 00:25:49,148 --> 00:25:52,151 I swatted you a thousand times-- did I traumatize you? 502 00:26:01,060 --> 00:26:04,130 From now on, if you want to visit with your grandchildren, 503 00:26:04,163 --> 00:26:08,100 you may do so at our farm, under supervision. 504 00:26:08,134 --> 00:26:11,971 After you do something about your drinking problem. 505 00:26:12,004 --> 00:26:14,240 Since when do you... 506 00:26:14,273 --> 00:26:16,776 since when do you think I'm a drunk? 507 00:26:18,745 --> 00:26:22,682 You're sitting right there with a margarita at 11:00 a.m. 508 00:26:30,456 --> 00:26:33,259 Let's order some guacamole. 509 00:26:33,292 --> 00:26:35,494 Everything seems dire on an empty stomach. 510 00:26:35,527 --> 00:26:37,964 I'm not eating with you. 511 00:26:37,997 --> 00:26:40,066 I came here 512 00:26:40,099 --> 00:26:42,101 to say what I had to say. 513 00:26:49,976 --> 00:26:52,311 (Bette coughing) DOCTOR: I want to run some blood work. 514 00:26:52,344 --> 00:26:56,282 No, ma'am, I just need something to... 515 00:26:56,315 --> 00:26:58,150 (coughing): soothe my cough. 516 00:26:58,184 --> 00:27:00,452 We'll both be happier preventing your problems 517 00:27:00,486 --> 00:27:02,588 than trying to solve them once they dig in. 518 00:27:02,621 --> 00:27:04,090 You're not 18. 519 00:27:04,123 --> 00:27:06,625 Oh, thanks. News flash. 520 00:27:06,659 --> 00:27:08,027 (coughs) 521 00:27:08,060 --> 00:27:11,597 Can I persuade you to lay off the smoking? 522 00:27:11,630 --> 00:27:14,500 (chuckles) Look, I'm off booze. 523 00:27:14,533 --> 00:27:17,603 I can't give up cigarettes. They're my only friends. 524 00:27:17,636 --> 00:27:19,338 How long ago did you stop drinking? 525 00:27:19,371 --> 00:27:21,173 17 days. You shouldn't 526 00:27:21,207 --> 00:27:23,175 white-knuckle detox, Bette. 527 00:27:23,209 --> 00:27:27,113 So you need help with your drinking problem. Big whoop. 528 00:27:27,146 --> 00:27:29,849 A lot of women your age turn to alcohol when they have 529 00:27:29,882 --> 00:27:32,218 little else to do. (groans) 530 00:27:32,251 --> 00:27:34,721 I'll grab you some brochures on rehab facilities. 531 00:27:34,754 --> 00:27:37,289 Oh, no. I'm... I can't go to rehab. 532 00:27:37,323 --> 00:27:40,292 I can't, I've got the Dean Martin roast. 533 00:27:40,326 --> 00:27:42,294 (coughing) 534 00:27:42,328 --> 00:27:43,529 VICTOR: Oh... 535 00:27:43,562 --> 00:27:45,131 the roast. 536 00:27:45,164 --> 00:27:47,566 It was the cruelest of degradations. 537 00:27:47,599 --> 00:27:50,069 Demeaned and insulted by fifth-rate celebrities. 538 00:27:50,102 --> 00:27:51,470 (applause) DEAN MARTIN: And here's one 539 00:27:51,503 --> 00:27:54,741 from Harold Donaldson from Detroit. 540 00:27:54,774 --> 00:27:57,676 "Dear Miss Davis, my wife and I just saw your film 541 00:27:57,710 --> 00:27:59,411 "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? 542 00:27:59,445 --> 00:28:01,748 "Could you settle an argument for us? 543 00:28:01,781 --> 00:28:05,584 In private life, are you and Joan Crawford really brothers?" 544 00:28:05,617 --> 00:28:07,519 (audience laughing) 545 00:28:07,553 --> 00:28:10,089 JOYCE HABER: Bette was the queen of Hollywood. 546 00:28:10,122 --> 00:28:13,259 Back in the days where queens were still ladies. 547 00:28:13,292 --> 00:28:16,028 And Joan Crawford was king. 548 00:28:16,062 --> 00:28:18,097 (audience guffaws, applauds) 549 00:28:18,130 --> 00:28:20,867 VINCENT PRICE: Miss Crawford has always been envious 550 00:28:20,900 --> 00:28:23,202 of Bette's voluptuous figure. 551 00:28:23,235 --> 00:28:24,771 As a matter of fact, 552 00:28:24,804 --> 00:28:27,406 Joan used to borrow Bette's bras 553 00:28:27,439 --> 00:28:29,909 to use them as shoulder pads. 554 00:28:29,942 --> 00:28:31,778 (laughing, applause) 555 00:28:31,811 --> 00:28:34,781 ADAM: Did she tell Joan how bad she felt about the roast? 556 00:28:34,814 --> 00:28:38,517 No. And I think she regretted it. 557 00:28:38,550 --> 00:28:41,687 Especially after Aimee. Aimee? 558 00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:44,857 Aimee Semple McPherson, the famed evangelist. 559 00:28:44,891 --> 00:28:46,358 BETTE: I met her. 560 00:28:46,392 --> 00:28:48,227 You did? 1932 561 00:28:48,260 --> 00:28:51,363 at the Foursquare Gospel Church. 562 00:28:51,397 --> 00:28:53,432 What a performer. 563 00:28:53,465 --> 00:28:55,768 A fraudulent evangelical minister 564 00:28:55,802 --> 00:28:59,271 who faked her own kidnapping. Can you imagine? 565 00:28:59,305 --> 00:29:01,407 Well, I begged the studio to let me play her. 566 00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:04,944 Not a single bite. 567 00:29:04,977 --> 00:29:08,080 In '76 Bette landed a role playing not the minister 568 00:29:08,114 --> 00:29:10,716 but the mother in The Disappearance of Aimee. 569 00:29:10,749 --> 00:29:12,718 Right, the Faye Dunaway movie. 570 00:29:12,751 --> 00:29:15,287 Ooh. If you ever do end up interviewing Bette, 571 00:29:15,321 --> 00:29:17,990 I'd advise against calling it that. 572 00:29:18,024 --> 00:29:20,993 For all her complaints about Joan, 573 00:29:21,027 --> 00:29:24,864 she didn't know true hatred until she met Faye. 574 00:29:27,033 --> 00:29:28,767 Hanging in there, Miss Davis? 575 00:29:28,801 --> 00:29:31,770 If I hang in here any longer, I'll fall off my branch. 576 00:29:31,804 --> 00:29:34,440 You know, locations used to come to me. 577 00:29:34,473 --> 00:29:36,742 Here, Anthony, I want to read you this. 578 00:29:36,775 --> 00:29:39,078 A passage. 579 00:29:39,111 --> 00:29:42,448 "And Moses sayeth to his brethren, 580 00:29:42,481 --> 00:29:45,417 "'The Lord shall afflict you with lesions 581 00:29:45,451 --> 00:29:48,287 "'all over your body if you be not punctual 582 00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:50,923 "'in your laborings, 583 00:29:50,957 --> 00:29:52,658 "'even if you are very pretty 584 00:29:52,691 --> 00:29:55,161 and the star of Chinatown.'" 585 00:29:55,194 --> 00:29:56,628 (chuckles) 586 00:29:56,662 --> 00:29:57,930 Is that from Romans? 587 00:29:57,964 --> 00:29:59,631 Our call was 6:00 a.m. 588 00:29:59,665 --> 00:30:02,634 I arrived at 5:45. I did not see Miss Faye Dunaway 589 00:30:02,668 --> 00:30:04,370 in her makeup chair until 7:00. 590 00:30:04,403 --> 00:30:07,840 It is now 11:00, and while we all roast to death 591 00:30:07,874 --> 00:30:09,541 in this toaster oven, 592 00:30:09,575 --> 00:30:11,510 you, sir, have still 593 00:30:11,543 --> 00:30:14,646 not gotten off your first goddamn shot. 594 00:30:15,848 --> 00:30:18,017 I could have kicked that part 595 00:30:18,050 --> 00:30:20,019 right out of the park. 596 00:30:20,052 --> 00:30:22,621 Well, you're an intimidating presence, Bette. 597 00:30:22,654 --> 00:30:25,157 Put yourself inside Faye Dunaway's shoes. 598 00:30:25,191 --> 00:30:28,527 I just think maybe she didn't come out of her trailer 599 00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:30,963 because she was afraid she couldn't keep up with you. 600 00:30:30,997 --> 00:30:34,867 There is no excuse for unprofessionalism. 601 00:30:34,901 --> 00:30:36,869 (grunts) 602 00:30:36,903 --> 00:30:39,371 Hell, it almost makes you miss Crawford. 603 00:30:39,405 --> 00:30:42,508 At least she had the decency to show up on time 604 00:30:42,541 --> 00:30:44,376 and she was the first one on the set 605 00:30:44,410 --> 00:30:46,145 and the last one to leave. (laughs) 606 00:30:46,178 --> 00:30:47,846 My God. 607 00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:50,182 Oh, I never thought I'd live to hear you 608 00:30:50,216 --> 00:30:53,152 breathe a kindness about Joan Crawford. 609 00:30:53,185 --> 00:30:54,720 Well, don't tell a soul. 610 00:30:54,753 --> 00:30:57,890 It will cut all my talk show appearances in half 611 00:30:57,924 --> 00:31:00,927 if anyone thinks that I've gone soft on Crawfish. 612 00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:02,461 Mm. 613 00:31:04,897 --> 00:31:07,299 She has cancer, you know. 614 00:31:08,968 --> 00:31:10,536 What? 615 00:31:10,569 --> 00:31:14,406 Hasn't left her apartment in months, I hear. 616 00:31:16,742 --> 00:31:20,179 Cancer isn't going to kill Joan. 617 00:31:20,212 --> 00:31:22,214 She's a cockroach, just like me. 618 00:31:22,248 --> 00:31:23,615 (laughs) 619 00:31:25,884 --> 00:31:27,553 You should call her. 620 00:31:27,586 --> 00:31:29,621 She doesn't want to talk to me. 621 00:31:29,655 --> 00:31:30,923 Of course she would. 622 00:31:30,957 --> 00:31:32,925 You mean something to her. 623 00:31:32,959 --> 00:31:35,962 You and she have so much in common. You're both Aries. 624 00:31:35,995 --> 00:31:38,430 You're both single mothers to angry children. 625 00:31:38,464 --> 00:31:40,466 You've each been married four times. 626 00:31:40,499 --> 00:31:42,935 In many ways, I hate to say this, 627 00:31:42,969 --> 00:31:45,537 but... she may be the only person 628 00:31:45,571 --> 00:31:48,975 in the entire world who knows how you really feel right now. 629 00:31:53,012 --> 00:31:56,082 I have been reading in the columns... 630 00:31:56,115 --> 00:31:59,151 she's been saying very nice things about Dunaway. 631 00:31:59,185 --> 00:32:02,488 She even said she would want Faye Dunaway to play her 632 00:32:02,521 --> 00:32:04,056 in a picture. 633 00:32:04,090 --> 00:32:05,757 (chuckles) 634 00:32:05,791 --> 00:32:07,793 I should warn her. 635 00:32:09,996 --> 00:32:11,964 Yes. 636 00:32:11,998 --> 00:32:14,466 Go ahead and warn her. 637 00:32:18,971 --> 00:32:20,072 (music playing on TV) Do you want to watch? 638 00:32:20,106 --> 00:32:22,241 (phone ringing) Oh. 639 00:32:22,274 --> 00:32:24,943 Who's that? 640 00:32:24,977 --> 00:32:26,445 Hmm. 641 00:32:29,881 --> 00:32:31,483 Hello. 642 00:32:31,517 --> 00:32:33,519 Hello? 643 00:32:36,022 --> 00:32:38,024 This is Joan Crawford. 644 00:32:40,993 --> 00:32:44,563 Who's calling at this late hour? 645 00:32:46,298 --> 00:32:49,201 Is anyone there? 646 00:32:49,235 --> 00:32:51,237 Hello? 647 00:32:59,645 --> 00:33:02,181 Nobody there. 648 00:33:19,831 --> 00:33:21,833 (knocking) Coming. (chuckles) 649 00:33:24,070 --> 00:33:26,538 Oh, Cathy darling. 650 00:33:26,572 --> 00:33:27,873 (laughs): Oh! 651 00:33:27,906 --> 00:33:29,475 Mommie dearest. Oh. 652 00:33:29,508 --> 00:33:31,143 Oh, look. 653 00:33:31,177 --> 00:33:33,545 Oh, my little angels. 654 00:33:33,579 --> 00:33:36,048 Oh! (chuckles) (bell dings) 655 00:33:36,082 --> 00:33:37,916 Oh, I think the microwave 656 00:33:37,949 --> 00:33:41,520 is the most wonderful invention of the 20th century. 657 00:33:41,553 --> 00:33:44,223 (chuckles) You don't mind paper plates, 658 00:33:44,256 --> 00:33:46,892 do you, dear? Mamacita only comes in 659 00:33:46,925 --> 00:33:50,562 three times a week, and I... I hate to leave a mess for her. 660 00:33:50,596 --> 00:33:52,998 No, Mommie, that's fine. (dog whimpering) 661 00:33:53,031 --> 00:33:55,834 Oh, there's my darling girl, 662 00:33:55,867 --> 00:33:58,036 there's my sweet girl. 663 00:33:58,070 --> 00:34:00,072 (indistinct chatter) 664 00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:04,376 Ah. 665 00:34:04,410 --> 00:34:07,913 Mommie. Hmm? 666 00:34:07,946 --> 00:34:10,349 I'm worried about you. 667 00:34:10,382 --> 00:34:12,751 Mamacita says you've stopped seeing your doctor. 668 00:34:12,784 --> 00:34:14,953 Yes, dear, that's right. 669 00:34:14,986 --> 00:34:17,089 Do you think that's wise? 670 00:34:17,123 --> 00:34:19,725 Well... 671 00:34:19,758 --> 00:34:21,793 Western medicine thinks it can 672 00:34:21,827 --> 00:34:25,030 poison this cancer out of me, 673 00:34:25,063 --> 00:34:27,899 but since I've adopted the tenets 674 00:34:27,933 --> 00:34:29,935 of Christian Science, 675 00:34:29,968 --> 00:34:32,704 I have been feeling a wonderful new vigor, 676 00:34:32,738 --> 00:34:34,373 I really have. 677 00:34:34,406 --> 00:34:37,543 I feel like I could take anything life could throw at me. 678 00:34:37,576 --> 00:34:39,578 (laughs) 679 00:34:41,147 --> 00:34:43,949 Speaking of which, 680 00:34:43,982 --> 00:34:45,917 have you talked to your sister? 681 00:34:45,951 --> 00:34:47,919 Cindy and I speak all the time. 682 00:34:47,953 --> 00:34:49,288 Oh, no, darling. 683 00:34:49,321 --> 00:34:51,056 I know you and Cindy do. 684 00:34:51,089 --> 00:34:53,325 Of course you do. (chuckles) (chuckles) 685 00:34:53,359 --> 00:34:55,394 No, I... I was referring 686 00:34:55,427 --> 00:34:57,963 to your elder sister, to Christina. 687 00:35:00,132 --> 00:35:02,168 Uh, no. 688 00:35:02,201 --> 00:35:04,170 Not recently. 689 00:35:04,203 --> 00:35:06,805 My editor tells me 690 00:35:06,838 --> 00:35:09,841 she's been writing a book. Oh. 691 00:35:09,875 --> 00:35:12,344 It's about me, evidently. 692 00:35:12,378 --> 00:35:15,147 Alleging the most vile things. 693 00:35:17,949 --> 00:35:21,853 You have to understand... 694 00:35:21,887 --> 00:35:25,491 I was at the height of my career 695 00:35:25,524 --> 00:35:27,359 when she was little. 696 00:35:27,393 --> 00:35:30,929 We never enjoyed the quality time together 697 00:35:30,962 --> 00:35:33,199 like I had with you and Cindy. 698 00:35:33,232 --> 00:35:36,502 The little time that I did have, 699 00:35:36,535 --> 00:35:38,537 I worked so hard 700 00:35:38,570 --> 00:35:41,707 at instilling the proper values in her. 701 00:35:41,740 --> 00:35:44,510 I only wanted her 702 00:35:44,543 --> 00:35:48,680 to appreciate her advantages. 703 00:35:48,714 --> 00:35:50,716 Of course, Mommie, of course. 704 00:35:52,851 --> 00:35:55,554 My editor asked if... 705 00:35:55,587 --> 00:35:58,390 I wanted to read an advance copy 706 00:35:58,424 --> 00:36:00,626 of the galleys, but... 707 00:36:00,659 --> 00:36:04,129 why spend the days of your life 708 00:36:04,162 --> 00:36:07,366 reading something that could only hurt you? 709 00:36:07,399 --> 00:36:09,235 (clattering) Children, 710 00:36:09,268 --> 00:36:12,371 I told you before we got here, no sliding on Grandma's floors. 711 00:36:12,404 --> 00:36:14,806 No, no, no. It's all right, dear. 712 00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:16,508 (chuckles) 713 00:36:16,542 --> 00:36:18,410 Look, they're enjoying themselves. 714 00:36:18,444 --> 00:36:21,012 Just be careful. Don't hurt yourselves. 715 00:36:21,046 --> 00:36:24,483 No, what's a few scuff marks? It doesn't matter. 716 00:36:24,516 --> 00:36:27,519 (children laughing) 717 00:36:27,553 --> 00:36:31,357 Do they think of me as their real grandmother? 718 00:36:31,390 --> 00:36:32,924 Of course. 719 00:36:38,364 --> 00:36:41,533 I don't know how much they understand 720 00:36:41,567 --> 00:36:43,935 about you being adopted. 721 00:36:43,969 --> 00:36:48,240 No, Mommie, they understand 722 00:36:48,274 --> 00:36:51,743 that you picked me and their Aunt Cindy 723 00:36:51,777 --> 00:36:55,381 out of all of the children in the world. 724 00:36:55,414 --> 00:37:00,118 And that we wouldn't have chosen any other mother, 725 00:37:00,151 --> 00:37:04,456 because we had the best one anyone could ever have. 726 00:37:04,490 --> 00:37:05,791 (sobs) 727 00:37:05,824 --> 00:37:07,058 Okay? 728 00:37:07,092 --> 00:37:09,395 Oh. 729 00:37:09,428 --> 00:37:11,129 (sniffles) 730 00:37:11,162 --> 00:37:13,565 (children laughing) 731 00:37:16,234 --> 00:37:18,604 (lightning crashing) 732 00:37:18,637 --> 00:37:21,873 (groaning) 733 00:37:21,907 --> 00:37:23,542 (thunder rumbles) 734 00:37:23,575 --> 00:37:25,977 (laughter in distance) 735 00:37:28,179 --> 00:37:30,382 (glasses clink) 736 00:37:30,416 --> 00:37:32,484 (laughter continues) 737 00:37:38,657 --> 00:37:41,092 (The Flamingos' "I Only Have Eyes for You" playing) 738 00:37:43,829 --> 00:37:45,731 Hello? * My love must be * 739 00:37:45,764 --> 00:37:49,100 (laughter continues) * A kind of blind love * 740 00:37:51,637 --> 00:37:55,240 * I can't see anyone but you * 741 00:37:55,273 --> 00:37:56,908 (laughter continues) 742 00:37:56,942 --> 00:37:58,910 Hello? 743 00:37:58,944 --> 00:38:02,080 * Sha-bop, sha-bop * 744 00:38:02,113 --> 00:38:04,249 * Sha-bop, sha-bop * 745 00:38:04,282 --> 00:38:06,918 (laughter) 746 00:38:06,952 --> 00:38:08,920 * Sha-bop, sha-bop * 747 00:38:08,954 --> 00:38:10,656 (liquid pouring) 748 00:38:10,689 --> 00:38:12,157 * Sha-bop, sha-bop * MAN: You remember? 749 00:38:12,190 --> 00:38:13,659 WOMAN: I do. 750 00:38:13,692 --> 00:38:15,293 (laughter) * Sha-bop, sha-bop * 751 00:38:15,327 --> 00:38:20,532 * Are the stars out tonight? * 752 00:38:20,566 --> 00:38:23,034 * I'm gonna get right up and put on my clothes * 753 00:38:23,068 --> 00:38:25,871 * I'm gonna go right out and take in all the shows * 754 00:38:25,904 --> 00:38:27,706 (both laughing) 755 00:38:27,739 --> 00:38:29,975 JOAN: Hedda? 756 00:38:30,008 --> 00:38:33,379 Jack, what are you doing here? 757 00:38:33,412 --> 00:38:36,382 Oh, Joan, did you ever hear of the Cataract? 758 00:38:36,415 --> 00:38:38,316 Not the C... (laughs) 759 00:38:38,350 --> 00:38:40,151 The Cascade. 760 00:38:40,185 --> 00:38:44,790 (laughs) The Cascade. (laughs) 761 00:38:44,823 --> 00:38:48,293 Oh. A movie house Jack and his brothers 762 00:38:48,326 --> 00:38:51,029 used to run in Pennsylvania. Yeah. 763 00:38:51,062 --> 00:38:53,799 That's right. Sam ran the picture, 764 00:38:53,832 --> 00:38:56,802 Abe kept the books, Harry broke the balls, 765 00:38:56,835 --> 00:38:59,137 and I broke the hearts. Aw. (chuckles) 766 00:38:59,170 --> 00:39:02,140 He used to sing in the aisles between showings. 767 00:39:02,173 --> 00:39:04,576 Oh, Jack. 768 00:39:04,610 --> 00:39:07,345 Sing for Joan. 769 00:39:07,379 --> 00:39:10,849 * I'm gonna borrow from everybody on my staff * 770 00:39:10,882 --> 00:39:13,685 * I'm going drink and dance and drive and laugh * 771 00:39:13,719 --> 00:39:15,421 * The doctor says my days are done * 772 00:39:15,454 --> 00:39:17,523 * So if I die, I'm gonna have some fun. * 773 00:39:17,556 --> 00:39:19,958 (all laughing) 774 00:39:22,260 --> 00:39:24,396 Oh, Jack, if a young actor had come in 775 00:39:24,430 --> 00:39:26,064 and sung like that for you, 776 00:39:26,097 --> 00:39:28,500 you'd have put him on the first bus out of town. 777 00:39:28,534 --> 00:39:32,070 Yeah. Thank God I never had any talent. Mm. 778 00:39:32,103 --> 00:39:33,439 That makes two of us. 779 00:39:33,472 --> 00:39:38,877 I had plenty of talent, Mr. Warner. 780 00:39:38,910 --> 00:39:43,048 I just had the foresight not to be the talent forever. 781 00:39:43,081 --> 00:39:45,717 Well, now, what is wrong with being the talent? 782 00:39:45,751 --> 00:39:49,921 Well, everyone thinks you have the world on a string, 783 00:39:49,955 --> 00:39:51,857 but it's the other way around. 784 00:39:51,890 --> 00:39:54,693 It's much better to be the one pulling the string, darling. 785 00:39:54,726 --> 00:39:55,927 Oh. 786 00:39:55,961 --> 00:39:57,362 I know that. Yes, indeed. 787 00:39:57,395 --> 00:39:59,264 You two made my life miserable. 788 00:39:59,297 --> 00:40:03,869 Made every job I ever had a fight to the death. 789 00:40:03,902 --> 00:40:06,304 Oh, come on, Joan. You act like you're the only one 790 00:40:06,337 --> 00:40:07,873 who had to cup your balls and do 791 00:40:07,906 --> 00:40:10,041 hand-to-hand combat. Think about 792 00:40:10,075 --> 00:40:12,377 all those WASPs who didn't let 793 00:40:12,410 --> 00:40:14,279 our kids into private schools, 794 00:40:14,312 --> 00:40:18,149 who told me to be a good Jew and go back to the garment district. 795 00:40:18,183 --> 00:40:19,751 And you know better than anyone, Joan, 796 00:40:19,785 --> 00:40:22,420 my hundred years' war with Louella. 797 00:40:22,454 --> 00:40:26,658 Yes, but no one was taking sides against you. 798 00:40:26,692 --> 00:40:30,796 No one was throwing gasoline on your resentments. 799 00:40:30,829 --> 00:40:35,100 Well, the expression is not "unite and conquer." 800 00:40:35,133 --> 00:40:37,936 (laughing) 801 00:40:37,969 --> 00:40:41,172 No, but why? Why did I need to be conquered? 802 00:40:41,206 --> 00:40:43,675 BETTE: What other way was there? 803 00:40:43,709 --> 00:40:47,178 Let the animals run the zoo? (chuckles) 804 00:40:47,212 --> 00:40:50,081 What is she doing here? 805 00:40:50,115 --> 00:40:52,851 Be friendly, Joan. We're having a party. 806 00:40:52,884 --> 00:40:56,421 Tell 'em what it did to you, Joan. 807 00:40:56,454 --> 00:40:59,625 Tell 'em what they did to you. 808 00:40:59,658 --> 00:41:03,261 Tell us. Go on, darling. 809 00:41:03,294 --> 00:41:05,797 * Sha-bop, sha-bop... * 810 00:41:05,831 --> 00:41:08,433 Well, I suppose... 811 00:41:08,466 --> 00:41:12,270 I felt like I always had to be on. 812 00:41:12,303 --> 00:41:15,340 That if someone caught a glimpse of the girl 813 00:41:15,373 --> 00:41:17,976 beneath the movie star, then, poof, 814 00:41:18,009 --> 00:41:22,648 I'd go back to that sad little wretch I'd been. 815 00:41:22,681 --> 00:41:25,651 You know, so... 816 00:41:25,684 --> 00:41:28,053 (sighs) 817 00:41:28,086 --> 00:41:32,057 ...I spent my whole life 818 00:41:32,090 --> 00:41:35,160 being Joan Crawford. 819 00:41:35,193 --> 00:41:37,162 (chuckles) 820 00:41:37,195 --> 00:41:41,132 A woman I created for others. 821 00:41:41,166 --> 00:41:43,168 * Sha-bop, sha-bop * 822 00:41:45,236 --> 00:41:47,205 * Sha-bop, sha-bop... * 823 00:41:47,238 --> 00:41:51,209 I don't know who-who I am 824 00:41:51,242 --> 00:41:54,846 when I'm by myself. 825 00:41:56,514 --> 00:41:58,817 * Sha-bop, sha-bop... * 826 00:41:58,850 --> 00:42:02,153 I think you should apologize to Joan, Jack. 827 00:42:02,187 --> 00:42:04,155 Both of you should. 828 00:42:04,189 --> 00:42:08,193 Uh... well, I'll do it if he does. 829 00:42:08,226 --> 00:42:10,528 All right. 830 00:42:10,562 --> 00:42:12,530 On the count of three. 831 00:42:12,564 --> 00:42:14,332 One... 832 00:42:14,365 --> 00:42:16,034 two... Two... 833 00:42:16,067 --> 00:42:17,869 three. three. 834 00:42:18,904 --> 00:42:20,806 (all laughing) 835 00:42:24,910 --> 00:42:26,277 It wouldn't come out! 836 00:42:26,311 --> 00:42:28,847 (laughing): No. 837 00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:30,682 Oh... (laughs) JACK: Now, Joanie, look, look, 838 00:42:30,716 --> 00:42:32,618 if I... if I really had known 839 00:42:32,651 --> 00:42:36,622 how hard I-I'd really made it for you, I... 840 00:42:36,655 --> 00:42:39,090 I wouldn't have done a fucking thing different... 841 00:42:39,124 --> 00:42:41,392 (all laughing) Bastard. 842 00:42:43,428 --> 00:42:45,864 It all works out in the end, Joanie. 843 00:42:45,897 --> 00:42:48,600 You know, we showbiz folks, 844 00:42:48,634 --> 00:42:52,203 you know, all that anger that we feel from not being loved-- 845 00:42:52,237 --> 00:42:54,039 which is the reason we're in this business 846 00:42:54,072 --> 00:42:55,774 in the first place-- 847 00:42:55,807 --> 00:42:58,977 all the tears and the screaming and the-the rage, 848 00:42:59,010 --> 00:43:01,279 it all disappears. 849 00:43:01,312 --> 00:43:02,648 And the public, 850 00:43:02,681 --> 00:43:04,650 what they remember, for the most part, 851 00:43:04,683 --> 00:43:06,184 is the good stuff. 852 00:43:07,619 --> 00:43:09,254 The work. 853 00:43:09,287 --> 00:43:12,457 And all the joy that we brought them. 854 00:43:12,490 --> 00:43:14,960 Trust me, 855 00:43:14,993 --> 00:43:18,596 all the suffering will have been worth it. 856 00:43:18,630 --> 00:43:20,999 Will it, really? 857 00:43:21,032 --> 00:43:23,434 All that pain 858 00:43:23,468 --> 00:43:26,905 will finally amount to something? 859 00:43:26,938 --> 00:43:29,107 Don't worry, sweetheart. 860 00:43:29,140 --> 00:43:32,110 You will always be young, 861 00:43:32,143 --> 00:43:33,679 always be beautiful, 862 00:43:33,712 --> 00:43:36,114 a goddess of your time, 863 00:43:36,147 --> 00:43:39,017 frozen in amber by Hurrell. 864 00:43:42,654 --> 00:43:44,622 Bette, too, 865 00:43:44,656 --> 00:43:46,958 though it pains me to say it. 866 00:43:47,993 --> 00:43:51,029 Legends, all. 867 00:43:57,635 --> 00:43:59,838 Oh, come on. Let's have a drink. 868 00:43:59,871 --> 00:44:01,106 Oh, I... 869 00:44:01,139 --> 00:44:03,709 I don't drink anymore. 870 00:44:03,742 --> 00:44:06,712 Boring. All right, come on, Hedda. 871 00:44:06,745 --> 00:44:08,546 Help me make some drinks, all right? 872 00:44:08,579 --> 00:44:10,548 Nobody wields an ice pick quite like you. 873 00:44:10,581 --> 00:44:12,083 (chuckles) 874 00:44:14,652 --> 00:44:17,222 Nice apartment. 875 00:44:18,223 --> 00:44:20,892 You get out much? 876 00:44:20,926 --> 00:44:23,128 Theater? The Guggenheim? 877 00:44:23,161 --> 00:44:26,732 No, uh, not so much, no. 878 00:44:26,765 --> 00:44:28,734 (laughs) Neither do I. 879 00:44:28,767 --> 00:44:32,503 Do you know what I love the most in this world? 880 00:44:32,537 --> 00:44:35,506 The Young and the Restless. 881 00:44:35,540 --> 00:44:39,344 Oh. Yes, that beautiful sea captain. (chuckles) 882 00:44:39,377 --> 00:44:40,846 What is his name? Lucas Prentiss. 883 00:44:40,879 --> 00:44:43,614 That's right. (chuckles) (chuckles) 884 00:44:46,684 --> 00:44:50,188 Why am I so happy to see you? 885 00:44:51,256 --> 00:44:52,991 Nostalgia. 886 00:44:53,024 --> 00:44:54,559 Hmm. 887 00:44:54,592 --> 00:44:55,994 Let's play a game. 888 00:44:56,027 --> 00:44:58,830 It's called Regrets. 889 00:44:58,864 --> 00:45:00,598 Oh. No, no, no. 890 00:45:00,631 --> 00:45:02,600 If you draw a pip card, 891 00:45:02,633 --> 00:45:05,937 you say something you feel sorry you did. 892 00:45:05,971 --> 00:45:07,939 If you draw a face card, 893 00:45:07,973 --> 00:45:11,276 you say something you wish you had done. 894 00:45:11,309 --> 00:45:14,746 That doesn't sound like a very fun game. 895 00:45:14,780 --> 00:45:17,783 It's the only game I know. (chuckles) 896 00:45:29,727 --> 00:45:32,530 I'm sorry... 897 00:45:32,563 --> 00:45:35,934 I wasn't more generous with you. 898 00:45:47,913 --> 00:45:49,647 I wish... 899 00:45:54,685 --> 00:45:58,790 I wish I'd been a friend to you. 900 00:46:02,427 --> 00:46:05,130 (chuckles) 901 00:46:05,163 --> 00:46:07,966 Well, it's not too late, is it? 902 00:46:07,999 --> 00:46:10,168 We can start now. 903 00:46:10,201 --> 00:46:11,803 (chuckles) 904 00:46:11,837 --> 00:46:13,905 Let's have 905 00:46:13,939 --> 00:46:15,740 a champagne toast. 906 00:46:15,773 --> 00:46:18,509 Mamacita! 907 00:46:18,543 --> 00:46:21,679 Oh, I'm so glad that you came here. 908 00:46:21,712 --> 00:46:23,281 You know, I've often 909 00:46:23,314 --> 00:46:27,919 fantasized about staying up late like two girlfriends, 910 00:46:27,953 --> 00:46:30,321 talking about Bob and, 911 00:46:30,355 --> 00:46:31,689 well, all the other men 912 00:46:31,722 --> 00:46:34,325 that we've known along the way. (laughs) 913 00:46:34,359 --> 00:46:36,261 Mamacita! 914 00:46:36,294 --> 00:46:38,997 The champagne! 915 00:46:39,030 --> 00:46:41,599 It's silly that we've spent all these years 916 00:46:41,632 --> 00:46:44,269 at odds with each other. 917 00:46:44,302 --> 00:46:47,772 But we can start over. 918 00:46:47,805 --> 00:46:51,609 Why don't you stay here with me, as my guest? 919 00:46:51,642 --> 00:46:54,179 You don't have to rush back to Connecticut, 920 00:46:54,212 --> 00:46:55,813 do you? MAMACITA: Miss Joan. 921 00:46:55,847 --> 00:46:58,183 What are you doing? 922 00:46:58,216 --> 00:47:00,185 Bring the champagne, dear. 923 00:47:00,218 --> 00:47:01,987 You are not drinking. 924 00:47:02,020 --> 00:47:04,822 Well, then bring some for my friend, Bette. 925 00:47:05,823 --> 00:47:08,860 There is no one there. 926 00:47:08,894 --> 00:47:11,329 (thunder rumbling) 927 00:47:13,831 --> 00:47:15,833 She must have slipped out. 928 00:47:17,835 --> 00:47:19,537 Did you help 929 00:47:19,570 --> 00:47:23,774 Hedda and Jack in the kitchen? 930 00:47:29,014 --> 00:47:31,549 Come, Miss Joan. 931 00:47:31,582 --> 00:47:34,085 Come. We go to bed. 932 00:47:44,795 --> 00:47:46,264 Good. 933 00:47:46,297 --> 00:47:49,200 I-I can't go to bed. 934 00:47:49,234 --> 00:47:51,402 I have guests. 935 00:47:51,436 --> 00:47:54,239 There is no one else here. 936 00:47:54,272 --> 00:47:57,708 It is just you and I. 937 00:48:21,967 --> 00:48:24,569 Thank you, Mamacita. 938 00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:32,877 MAMACITA: She died one week later. 939 00:48:32,910 --> 00:48:36,147 We embalmed her. 940 00:48:36,181 --> 00:48:39,317 We made her look the way she liked. 941 00:48:39,350 --> 00:48:42,220 And then we cremated her body. 942 00:48:42,253 --> 00:48:44,055 She had a big funeral, yeah? 943 00:48:44,089 --> 00:48:46,891 Not as big as Judy Garland's, but star-studded? 944 00:48:46,924 --> 00:48:48,059 Yes. 945 00:48:48,093 --> 00:48:51,929 Myrna Loy, Anita Loos, Andy Warhol. 946 00:48:51,963 --> 00:48:55,833 Jack Valenti got the studios to observe a moment of silence. 947 00:48:55,866 --> 00:48:58,469 It made me sad. 948 00:48:58,503 --> 00:49:01,072 To say good-bye to her? 949 00:49:01,106 --> 00:49:04,275 No, because they all showed up 950 00:49:04,309 --> 00:49:06,511 to say good-bye. 951 00:49:06,544 --> 00:49:11,082 But when she was alive, when she needed them most, 952 00:49:11,116 --> 00:49:14,019 no one was there. 953 00:49:14,052 --> 00:49:16,221 (phone ringing) 954 00:49:21,626 --> 00:49:22,827 What? 955 00:49:22,860 --> 00:49:24,262 Miss Davis, 956 00:49:24,295 --> 00:49:27,498 this is Jan Tomlinson with the AP Wire Service. 957 00:49:27,532 --> 00:49:29,467 Good morning. 958 00:49:29,500 --> 00:49:32,670 Ah, I've lost track of the days. 959 00:49:32,703 --> 00:49:36,507 Are there nominations announced or something? 960 00:49:36,541 --> 00:49:38,509 No, Miss Davis. 961 00:49:38,543 --> 00:49:41,012 Joan Crawford died this morning. 962 00:49:46,051 --> 00:49:48,319 Do you have a comment? 963 00:49:52,757 --> 00:49:54,725 My mother always said 964 00:49:54,759 --> 00:49:57,895 don't say anything bad about the dead. 965 00:49:57,928 --> 00:50:00,698 Only say good. 966 00:50:02,367 --> 00:50:05,503 Joan Crawford is dead. 967 00:50:05,536 --> 00:50:07,538 Good. 968 00:50:30,228 --> 00:50:32,230 I was in the neighborhood. Oh, Miss Davis. 969 00:50:32,263 --> 00:50:34,899 Is she in her room? Uh, yes. 970 00:50:34,932 --> 00:50:36,734 BETTE: Margot, darling. 971 00:50:36,767 --> 00:50:38,035 It's Mommy. 972 00:50:38,069 --> 00:50:40,105 Hello, sweetheart. 973 00:50:40,138 --> 00:50:43,241 Oh, look what you're doing. 974 00:50:43,274 --> 00:50:45,009 What a nice drawing. 975 00:50:45,042 --> 00:50:48,779 Look at how beautifully you're filling those hearts in. 976 00:50:48,813 --> 00:50:50,715 I did a drawing, myself. 977 00:50:50,748 --> 00:50:52,783 Well, I didn't actually do the drawing. 978 00:50:52,817 --> 00:50:56,020 A lovely man named Don did it. I met him 979 00:50:56,053 --> 00:50:57,255 at Roddy McDowall's. 980 00:50:57,288 --> 00:50:58,589 Do you remember him? 981 00:50:58,623 --> 00:51:03,428 BETTE: We had a wonderful date, a wonderful time. 982 00:51:08,666 --> 00:51:10,868 (clears throat) 983 00:51:10,901 --> 00:51:13,037 Miss Davis. 984 00:51:13,070 --> 00:51:14,439 I don't mean to seem rude, 985 00:51:14,472 --> 00:51:17,408 but you need to sit still. 986 00:51:21,146 --> 00:51:23,814 Fine. 987 00:51:23,848 --> 00:51:25,650 You have an hour. That's it. 988 00:51:25,683 --> 00:51:27,084 Okay. 989 00:51:28,119 --> 00:51:30,455 Can... Your chin... Just... 990 00:51:30,488 --> 00:51:32,823 Mmm. 991 00:51:36,093 --> 00:51:39,830 Would you like to stay for dinner? 992 00:51:39,864 --> 00:51:42,600 All right. 993 00:51:42,633 --> 00:51:44,135 But... 994 00:51:44,169 --> 00:51:46,304 But. But. 995 00:51:46,337 --> 00:51:49,674 You do know I'm gay? 996 00:51:49,707 --> 00:51:52,076 Of course. 997 00:51:52,109 --> 00:51:55,180 BETTE: We had a wonderful dinner that night, 998 00:51:55,213 --> 00:51:58,516 but it would never work out with Don because of my work. 999 00:51:58,549 --> 00:52:01,286 My work has always taken first position, 1000 00:52:01,319 --> 00:52:03,421 and men don't want that. But I would rather 1001 00:52:03,454 --> 00:52:06,191 go for something I feel even if I get hurt. 1002 00:52:06,224 --> 00:52:09,760 I don't want to spend my life protecting myself. 1003 00:52:09,794 --> 00:52:12,029 After dinner, the painter, Don, 1004 00:52:12,062 --> 00:52:14,532 he showed me the drawing that he made. 1005 00:52:14,565 --> 00:52:18,869 It captured the way I am now completely. 1006 00:52:18,903 --> 00:52:20,671 BETTE: Can I see it now? 1007 00:52:20,705 --> 00:52:22,507 (clears throat) 1008 00:52:22,540 --> 00:52:23,974 It's not finished yet. 1009 00:52:24,008 --> 00:52:25,443 Don't you like it? 1010 00:52:25,476 --> 00:52:28,679 Honestly, it... 1011 00:52:28,713 --> 00:52:31,682 (chuckles) It sort of scares me. 1012 00:52:31,716 --> 00:52:35,085 Then I want to see it. 1013 00:52:48,165 --> 00:52:51,135 Yep. 1014 00:52:51,168 --> 00:52:53,771 That's the old bag. 1015 00:53:03,381 --> 00:53:05,416 BETTE: I'm sorry that I haven't been to see you 1016 00:53:05,450 --> 00:53:06,817 more often, darling, 1017 00:53:06,851 --> 00:53:09,354 but I'm going to write you letters. 1018 00:53:09,387 --> 00:53:11,222 Beautiful letters. 1019 00:53:11,256 --> 00:53:13,691 And we'll keep them in a special box. 1020 00:53:13,724 --> 00:53:16,060 Would you like that? 1021 00:53:16,093 --> 00:53:19,264 Last week someone sent me letters 1022 00:53:19,297 --> 00:53:21,932 that my mother had written to a friend of hers 1023 00:53:21,966 --> 00:53:25,770 years ago before she died. 1024 00:53:25,803 --> 00:53:29,907 BETTE: Many of the letters were about me. 1025 00:53:36,581 --> 00:53:38,416 Long story short, 1026 00:53:38,449 --> 00:53:42,920 my mother said terrible things about me behind my back. 1027 00:53:42,953 --> 00:53:46,357 She said that I was a queen bee. 1028 00:53:46,391 --> 00:53:49,527 And that I was selfish. 1029 00:53:49,560 --> 00:53:51,562 And that it was all about me, 1030 00:53:51,596 --> 00:53:54,231 and that I was a pain and a chore. 1031 00:53:57,468 --> 00:54:00,004 She'd never said anything to me. 1032 00:54:02,507 --> 00:54:04,041 My own mother. 1033 00:54:04,074 --> 00:54:07,812 I thought she was my only friend. 1034 00:54:07,845 --> 00:54:10,748 But actually... 1035 00:54:10,781 --> 00:54:14,519 I was totally alone. 1036 00:54:17,455 --> 00:54:21,559 (applause) 1037 00:54:21,592 --> 00:54:23,127 What's your pick for Best Picture, Miss Davis? 1038 00:54:23,160 --> 00:54:25,630 Oh, I'd have to say The Turning Point. 1039 00:54:25,663 --> 00:54:27,298 It was my favorite film this year. 1040 00:54:27,332 --> 00:54:29,834 The men are merely dance partners, 1041 00:54:29,867 --> 00:54:32,737 and the women fight on the roof. It's the story of my life. 1042 00:54:32,770 --> 00:54:34,104 (Bette and bartender chuckle) Bette? 1043 00:54:34,138 --> 00:54:36,106 Are you giving Charlton an award? 1044 00:54:36,140 --> 00:54:37,508 Chuck Heston, yes. 1045 00:54:37,542 --> 00:54:40,578 He's the only actor that's as difficult as I am. 1046 00:54:40,611 --> 00:54:44,014 The Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award? 1047 00:54:44,048 --> 00:54:45,650 (chuckles) Oh, I don't give a shit. 1048 00:54:45,683 --> 00:54:49,186 I'm not here to present, I'm here to preside. 1049 00:54:49,219 --> 00:54:50,488 (chuckles) 1050 00:54:50,521 --> 00:54:51,822 BLONDELL: Hey, ladies, 1051 00:54:51,856 --> 00:54:53,157 it's the "In Memoriam." 1052 00:54:53,190 --> 00:54:55,760 Christ, where did the night go? 1053 00:54:55,793 --> 00:55:00,264 (over television): * Oh, just one more time * 1054 00:55:00,297 --> 00:55:02,867 * Just close your eyes * 1055 00:55:02,900 --> 00:55:07,372 * And we'll see their face again * 1056 00:55:07,405 --> 00:55:12,309 * Though your days are gone * 1057 00:55:12,343 --> 00:55:15,846 * They live on * 1058 00:55:15,880 --> 00:55:18,048 * And on * 1059 00:55:18,082 --> 00:55:22,820 * Let their song play * 1060 00:55:22,853 --> 00:55:24,622 * One more time * 1061 00:55:24,655 --> 00:55:26,156 That's it? 1062 00:55:26,190 --> 00:55:28,893 BLONDELL: Christ. 50 years in show business, 1063 00:55:28,926 --> 00:55:32,563 and they give her two seconds. 1064 00:55:32,597 --> 00:55:36,401 * One more time. * That's all any of us will get. 1065 00:55:36,434 --> 00:55:38,536 To Joan. 1066 00:55:38,569 --> 00:55:40,605 (applause) 1067 00:55:45,342 --> 00:55:47,378 MAN: Clean wearing, long lasting foundation. 1068 00:55:47,412 --> 00:55:48,679 Worn by the world's great beauties... 1069 00:55:52,850 --> 00:55:54,919 Miss Davis. 1070 00:55:54,952 --> 00:55:57,722 Hi, I'm Adam. 1071 00:55:59,757 --> 00:56:02,393 Yes. 1072 00:56:02,427 --> 00:56:04,562 Hi. 1073 00:56:04,595 --> 00:56:06,731 I told you in a letter, 1074 00:56:06,764 --> 00:56:08,065 I told you on the phone, 1075 00:56:08,098 --> 00:56:10,034 and now I'll tell you to your face. 1076 00:56:10,067 --> 00:56:13,337 I will not participate in your documentary. 1077 00:56:13,370 --> 00:56:16,273 You'll want me to say funny, bitchy one-liners 1078 00:56:16,306 --> 00:56:17,542 about Crawford. 1079 00:56:17,575 --> 00:56:19,710 I won't do it. 1080 00:56:19,744 --> 00:56:22,112 She was a professional. 1081 00:56:22,146 --> 00:56:24,415 We did one picture together. 1082 00:56:24,449 --> 00:56:27,184 Our lives intersected. 1083 00:56:27,217 --> 00:56:29,754 That's it. 1084 00:56:29,787 --> 00:56:32,022 I don't have anything more to say. 1085 00:56:32,056 --> 00:56:34,258 MAN: Miss Davis, you're on next. 1086 00:56:39,129 --> 00:56:40,931 ADAM: Well, I guess that's it. 1087 00:56:40,965 --> 00:56:43,434 We'll never really know 1088 00:56:43,468 --> 00:56:46,103 what happened between these two women. 1089 00:56:46,136 --> 00:56:48,939 I want to know what happened that first day. 1090 00:56:48,973 --> 00:56:52,276 When they finally were on a set together 1091 00:56:52,309 --> 00:56:54,712 after all those years of their feud. 1092 00:56:54,745 --> 00:56:56,714 (bell rings) 1093 00:56:56,747 --> 00:56:59,083 That's what I want to know. 1094 00:57:09,694 --> 00:57:12,597 (laughs) 1095 00:57:12,630 --> 00:57:14,565 (both chuckle) 1096 00:57:14,599 --> 00:57:17,468 So I put a... a rubber band around it, 1097 00:57:17,502 --> 00:57:20,104 and I went back into the party. What choice did I have? 1098 00:57:20,137 --> 00:57:21,338 (both laugh) 1099 00:57:21,371 --> 00:57:22,940 PAULINE: Miss Crawford, Miss Davis. 1100 00:57:22,973 --> 00:57:24,274 Bob is calling 1101 00:57:24,308 --> 00:57:25,576 for your first read-through. 1102 00:57:25,610 --> 00:57:26,777 All ready? 1103 00:57:26,811 --> 00:57:28,513 I'll get my script. 1104 00:57:28,546 --> 00:57:30,548 Wonderful. 1105 00:57:32,817 --> 00:57:34,018 Bette? 1106 00:57:36,320 --> 00:57:38,756 Here's what I really hope from this picture 1107 00:57:38,789 --> 00:57:42,693 when all is said and done: 1108 00:57:42,727 --> 00:57:46,664 I hope I've made a new friend. 1109 00:57:47,665 --> 00:57:50,501 Me, too. 1110 00:58:17,762 --> 00:58:20,531 * 1111 00:58:47,424 --> 00:58:49,426 * 1112 00:59:18,789 --> 00:59:20,891 * 1113 00:59:42,079 --> 00:59:44,148 * 1114 01:01:21,879 --> 01:01:23,881 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH