1 00:00:08,109 --> 00:00:11,279 SHE THINKS SHE IS ALL THAT, BUT SHE IS NOT ALL THAT. 2 00:00:11,312 --> 00:00:16,250 OH, NO, GIRLFRIEND, DO NOT GO THERE. DO NOT GO THERE! 3 00:00:16,284 --> 00:00:19,387 OH, DAMN! SHE WENT THERE. 4 00:00:20,954 --> 00:00:23,191 WELL, I BETTER GET BACK TO THE STATION. 5 00:00:23,224 --> 00:00:24,792 TIME TO GO ON DUTY? 6 00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:28,096 NO. I'M ON DUTY. IT'S TIME TO PUNCH OUT. 7 00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:30,631 WELL, I'LL SEE YOU THURSDAY, TOMMY, AT CAREER DAY. 8 00:00:30,664 --> 00:00:31,565 CAREER DAY? 9 00:00:31,599 --> 00:00:33,801 WHAT CAREER DAY? I'VE HEARD NOTHING OF THIS. 10 00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:36,670 IT'S NOTHING, DICK. IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF BORES 11 00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:38,672 BLABBING ON ABOUT WHAT THEY DO. 12 00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:40,441 YOU WOULDN'T BE INTERESTED. 13 00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:44,678 WAIT. DICK NOT INTERESTED IN TALKING ABOUT HIMSELF? 14 00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:47,481 I KNOW! THAT'S INSANE. 15 00:00:48,116 --> 00:00:49,250 OH, DON'T BE SILLY, TOMMY. 16 00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:51,352 ONCE YOUR CLASSMATES HEAR ME SPEAK, 17 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:52,720 YOU'LL BE THE TOAST OF THE SCHOOL. 18 00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:54,322 ARE YOU KIDDING, DICK? 19 00:00:54,355 --> 00:00:56,190 YOU'RE A PHYSICS PROFESSOR. 20 00:00:56,224 --> 00:00:59,059 I MEAN, THAT'S ALMOST AS DORKY AS... 21 00:01:03,331 --> 00:01:04,332 I GOT NOTHING. 22 00:01:04,365 --> 00:01:05,966 I'M STUMPED. 23 00:01:05,999 --> 00:01:07,301 THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS! 24 00:01:07,335 --> 00:01:09,270 I'M WISE. I'M REVERED. 25 00:01:09,303 --> 00:01:12,039 AND I WORK DAMN HARD! WHO DO YOU THINK PUTS FOOD ON THE TABLE? 26 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:12,906 I PUT IT THERE. 27 00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:14,442 I'M GOING WITH AMERICA'S FARMERS. 28 00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:15,776 THERE'S FOOD ON THE TABLE? 29 00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:17,178 OH, NOW, STOP IT. 30 00:01:17,211 --> 00:01:18,879 IF YOU PEOPLE THINK IT'S SO EASY, 31 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:22,316 WHY DON'T YOU GET A JOB AND WORK FOR A CHANGE? 32 00:01:22,350 --> 00:01:24,084 I'M GLAD THAT WAS A QUESTION AND NOT AN ORDER. 33 00:01:24,118 --> 00:01:25,919 Dick: IT'S AN ORDER! 34 00:01:25,953 --> 00:01:27,955 WELL, I'M GLAD IT'S AN ORDER AND NOT A DIRECT ORDER. 35 00:01:27,988 --> 00:01:30,090 Dick: IT'S A DIRECT ORDER! 36 00:01:30,124 --> 00:01:31,459 I'M GLAD IT'S A DIRECT ORDER-- 37 00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:33,994 Dick: GO GET THE WANT ADS! 38 00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:11,565 HEY, GUYS. 39 00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:12,366 IS DICK HERE? 40 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:13,434 NO. 41 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:14,735 I WANTED TO TALK TO HIM. 42 00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:15,569 WHY? 43 00:02:15,603 --> 00:02:16,937 WELL, I'M LOOKING FOR WORK. 44 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:19,240 THERE WERE SOME SWEET GIGS ON THE PENDELTON RESEARCH BOARD, 45 00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:21,509 BUT I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE TO DO, LIKE HERE. 46 00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:25,279 I CAN GET 50 BUCKS IF I LET THEM RUB SOLVENTS IN MY EYES. 47 00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:29,483 OH, SALLY, THAT--THAT'S NOT GOOD. 48 00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:32,453 REALLY? WELL, I COULD SIGN UP FOR THE HORNET STING STUDY, 49 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:35,489 BUT I DIDN'T BRING A SWIMSUIT. 50 00:02:35,523 --> 00:02:38,359 DR. ALBRIGHT IS LOOKING FOR A RESEARCH ASSISTANT. 51 00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:39,227 REALLY?! 52 00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:40,794 UH... 53 00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:42,730 YES, BUT IT'S JUST GRUNT WORK. 54 00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:45,566 I MEAN, IT DOESN'T PAY HORNET STUDY MONEY. 55 00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:47,134 OH, THAT'S OK. WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO? 56 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:51,004 UH, WELL, I'M GIVING A TALK NEXT WEEK AT THE FACULTY CLUB. 57 00:02:51,038 --> 00:02:52,740 SOME BOLIVIAN PROFESSORS WILL BE THERE, 58 00:02:52,773 --> 00:02:56,777 AND I'M GOING TO BE DISCUSSING THE CULTURE OF THE AYMARA INDIANS. 59 00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:58,779 AND I'M YOUR DATE? 60 00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:01,282 NO, YOU'RE MY FACT CHECKER. 61 00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:05,386 YOU JUST GO TO THE LIBRARY AND MAKE SURE ALL MY INFORMATION IS ACCURATE. 62 00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:08,256 HMM, I WOULD'VE GONE WITH THE HORNETS. 63 00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:09,323 GOOD MORNING, MARY. 64 00:03:09,357 --> 00:03:10,057 GOOD MORNING. 65 00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:11,259 SALLY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 66 00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:13,694 OH, I'M DOING SOME ANTHROPOLOGY STUFF FOR ALBRIGHT. 67 00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:14,895 YOU'RE WHAT? 68 00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:15,496 SEE YA, BOSS. 69 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,831 WELL, THAT'S JUST GREAT! 70 00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:20,934 YOU NEVER SHOW ANY INTEREST IN PHYSICS! 71 00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:23,837 WELL, DICK, THERE'S GOOD REASON FOR THAT. 72 00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,973 IT'S PHYSICS. 73 00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:28,141 LIKE ANTHROPOLOGY IS SO HOT? 74 00:03:28,175 --> 00:03:29,510 I MEAN, SURE, THERE'S NAKED PEOPLE, 75 00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:32,313 BUT...ONCE YOU GET PAST THAT, 76 00:03:32,346 --> 00:03:34,848 IT'S REALLY JUST... 77 00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:36,750 WHAT? 78 00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:39,820 I DON'T KNOW. I CAN'T GET PAST THE NAKED PEOPLE. 79 00:03:47,995 --> 00:03:50,130 YOU KNOW HOW THEY SAY IF YOU REALLY WANT A JOB, 80 00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:53,233 IT'LL JUST FALL RIGHT IN YOUR LAP? 81 00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:56,169 UH, NO. 82 00:03:56,203 --> 00:04:00,341 AND HOW DESPERATION IS THE SUREST ROAD TO SUCCESS. 83 00:04:00,374 --> 00:04:02,676 I NEVER HEARD THAT. 84 00:04:02,710 --> 00:04:05,313 WHY DO THEY SAY THOSE THINGS? WHY? 85 00:04:05,346 --> 00:04:08,048 I'M NOT SURE THEY DO. 86 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,083 I FELL FOR THE LIES. 87 00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:12,786 POUNDED THE PAVEMENT, AND NOW HERE I AM. 88 00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:15,556 THERE ARE NO JOBS FOR GUYS LIKE ME. 89 00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:18,392 YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR A NEW BARTENDER FOR A WHILE NOW. 90 00:04:18,426 --> 00:04:23,464 DO YOU MIND, BUDDY? WE'RE TALKING ABOUT MY PROBLEMS NOW. 91 00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:26,467 I'M SAYING I NEED SOMEBODY TO START TODAY. 92 00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:30,404 UH, YEAH. WELL, I GUESS YOU'RE OUT OF LUCK. 93 00:04:30,438 --> 00:04:31,905 WHY, WHAT DO YOU GOT GOING ON? 94 00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:35,709 I'M LOOKING FOR A JOB, BRAINIAC! 95 00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:38,779 MORNING, CLASS, I'M... 96 00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:40,147 SORRY I'M... 97 00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:41,849 SO LATE. 98 00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:43,216 A FUNNY THING HAPPENED TODAY. 99 00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:46,019 I LEARNED THAT THERE IS A, UH, A... 100 00:04:46,053 --> 00:04:47,388 SMALL GROUP OF PEOPLE 101 00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:51,392 THAT DOESN'T FIND PHYSICS ABSOLUTELY EXHILARATING. 102 00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:54,795 ISN'T THAT HILARIOUS? 103 00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:01,234 EXACTLY. 104 00:05:01,268 --> 00:05:02,269 SO I WAS WONDERING, 105 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,804 WHAT DROVE YOU TO TAKE IT? 106 00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:04,638 IT'S REQUIRED. 107 00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:06,306 AND WE WANT TO GRADUATE. 108 00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:09,577 SO THAT'S ALL THAT BRINGS YOU BACK TO MY CLASS, A REQUIREMENT? 109 00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:13,080 NOT ONE OF YOU YEARNS FOR A CAREER IN PHYSICS? 110 00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:18,486 NOT ONE SOUL LONGS TO MAKE PHYSICS HIS LIFEWORK? 111 00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:23,223 NOT ONE AMONG YOU ASPIRES TO PLACE PHYSICS-- 112 00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:24,124 DR. SOLOMON. 113 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:27,961 LEON, PLEASE, TELL ME YOU HAVE TO PEE. 114 00:05:30,297 --> 00:05:31,031 GUESS WHAT. 115 00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:31,799 WHAT? 116 00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:34,201 I FOUND A MISTAKE IN YOUR SPEECH. 117 00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:37,938 OH...OK. LET'S HEAR IT. 118 00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:41,575 OK. THIS IS SO GREAT. OK. 119 00:05:41,609 --> 00:05:43,444 HERE ON PAGE 2, 120 00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:46,346 YOU SAY THERE AREN'T ANY AYMARAN COMMUNITIES ON THE HIGH PLAINS, 121 00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:49,049 BUT DIRKSON'S SURVEY SAYS THERE ARE. 122 00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:49,983 NO, THERE AREN'T. 123 00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:52,520 DIRKSON SAYS THERE ARE. 124 00:05:54,321 --> 00:05:55,723 ALL RIGHT. MAYBE THERE'S ONE OR 2, 125 00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:56,924 BUT MY POINT STILL STANDS. 126 00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:58,826 NO. OK, BUT DIRKSON SAYS-- 127 00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:01,228 FORGET DIRKSON! 128 00:06:01,261 --> 00:06:03,597 JUST GO BACK THERE AND CONCENTRATE ON-- 129 00:06:03,631 --> 00:06:08,702 ON PLACE NAMES AND SPELLINGS AND THINGS LIKE THAT. 130 00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:11,672 OK? 131 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:15,409 MAN, WHO DIED AND MADE HER DIRKSON? 132 00:06:15,443 --> 00:06:17,611 LOOK, SALLY, IF YOU'RE GONNA WORK FOR DR. ALBRIGHT, 133 00:06:17,645 --> 00:06:20,380 THERE ARE A COUPLE OF THINGS YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND. 134 00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:23,350 ONE: SHE DOESN'T LIKE TO BE CORRECTED WHEN SHE'S WRONG. 135 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:26,153 AND 2: SHE'S OFTEN WRONG. 136 00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:28,121 WAIT, WAIT. SO, I SHOULDN'T TELL HER 137 00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:31,892 HER BREATH SMELLS LIKE A SOCK FULL OF HORSERADISH? 138 00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:34,094 I DIDN'T. 139 00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:39,567 BUT, HEY, THAT'S MY BOSS. 140 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,334 I JUST CAN'T PLEASE HIM. 141 00:06:41,368 --> 00:06:44,605 WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? 142 00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:46,974 EXACTLY. I JUST CAN'T WIN. 143 00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:50,110 WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? 144 00:06:51,378 --> 00:06:52,913 HEY, YOU KNOW YOU'RE RIGHT. 145 00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:54,448 TOMORROW, I'M GOING DOWN THERE, 146 00:06:54,482 --> 00:06:56,584 AND I'M GONNA TELL HIM WHAT HE CAN DO WITH HIS JOB. 147 00:06:56,617 --> 00:06:58,251 HARRY, THANKS FOR LISTENING. 148 00:06:58,285 --> 00:07:02,055 HEY, WHAT AM I GONNA DO? 149 00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:02,990 HARRY, I NEED A DRINK. 150 00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:04,525 YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE. 151 00:07:04,558 --> 00:07:07,327 I GOT THE WHOLE TOWN OF RUTHERFORD DRINKING AGAIN. 152 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:08,095 HARRY! 153 00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:10,130 ALL RIGHT! 154 00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:11,765 WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD? 155 00:07:11,799 --> 00:07:14,602 YOU DOLE OUT MOONSHINE TO A ROOMFUL OF BOOZEHOUNDS 156 00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:16,436 AND EVERYBODY LOVES YOU, 157 00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:19,940 WHILE I SHAPE YOUNG MINDS WITH THE ELEGANT LAWS OF PHYSICS, 158 00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:21,775 AND WHAT DO I GET? NOTHING. 159 00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:23,544 HERE'S THE DEAL, DICK. 160 00:07:23,577 --> 00:07:26,379 AROUND HERE, A GUY CAN'T EVEN GIVE PEACH SCHNAPPS AWAY. 161 00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:31,418 BUT YOU PUT IT IN A PINEAPPLE GLASS, ADD A LITTLE UMBRELLA, 162 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:34,622 CALL IT A SHOOTER, I CAN'T MAKE 'EM FAST ENOUGH. 163 00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:37,424 HARRY, THAT'S BRILLIANT! 164 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:40,360 YOU'RE SAYING I GOTTA GIVE PHYSICS A LITTLE RAZZLE-DAZZLE, 165 00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:41,194 RIGHT? 166 00:07:41,228 --> 00:07:43,096 OK. 167 00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:44,832 OF COURSE! THIS IS THE NINETIES. 168 00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:48,168 KIDS WANT WHAT'S COOL. THEY WANT THE LATEST, THE HERE AND NOW. 169 00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:49,503 THEY WANT THE FONZ! 170 00:07:49,537 --> 00:07:51,839 AYYY! 171 00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:54,074 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? 172 00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:55,876 I'M GOING TO CAREER DAY! 173 00:07:55,909 --> 00:08:00,147 ALL RIGHT! YOU DO THAT! 174 00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:02,482 WHAT AN IDIOT. 175 00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:05,886 HARRY, DID SOME JOKER PUT MY NUMBER UP 176 00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:07,588 ON THE MEN'S ROOM WALL? 177 00:08:07,621 --> 00:08:08,856 I DON'T THINK SO. 178 00:08:08,889 --> 00:08:12,593 WELL, BE A DOLL AND PUT IT UP THERE, WILL YA... 179 00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:16,296 BEFORE THAT BIG GUY WITH THE BEARD TAKES A LEAK? 180 00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:19,967 HI. AM I INTERRUPTING? 181 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,869 NO. COME IN. 182 00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:24,071 WHAT'S WRONG? FIND ANOTHER MISTAKE? 183 00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:26,073 NO. NOTHING. 184 00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:27,107 REALLY? 185 00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:29,176 REALLY. I WENT THROUGH IT WITH A FINE-TOOTH COMB. 186 00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:30,443 THIS BABY IS GOLD. 187 00:08:30,477 --> 00:08:32,112 GREAT. 188 00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:33,781 WHAT ABOUT THE POPULATION OF CIRCUATA? 189 00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:35,649 I WAS JUST GUESSING ON IT. 190 00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:37,050 THAT WAS A GUESS? 191 00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:39,286 YOU NAILED IT! 192 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:42,990 WELL, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN PRETTY GOOD WITH TRENDS 193 00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:45,192 IN THAT PART OF THE HEMISPHERE. 194 00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:46,359 LISTEN, I GOTTA TELL YOU, 195 00:08:46,393 --> 00:08:48,996 AFTER READING DIRKSON, YOUR STUFF WAS REFRESHING. 196 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:54,301 BUT SUBSTANTIAL, LIKE, UH, GATORADE, BUT WITH MEAT IN IT. 197 00:08:55,769 --> 00:08:58,005 SALLY, LET ME BUY YOU LUNCH. 198 00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,139 WE CAN GO TO THE OAK ROOM. 199 00:08:59,172 --> 00:09:00,473 THE OAK ROOM? 200 00:09:00,507 --> 00:09:02,209 YOU DESERVE A TREAT. 201 00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:04,077 WELL, I SPENT THE DAY WITH YOUR SPEECH. 202 00:09:04,111 --> 00:09:06,213 I THINK I'VE HAD MY TREAT. 203 00:09:08,716 --> 00:09:11,685 DEAR GOD! 204 00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:13,587 THEY HAVE CHOCOLATE CHEESECAKE. 205 00:09:13,621 --> 00:09:16,957 OF COURSE, I SHOULD PROBABLY JUST APPLY IT DIRECTLY TO MY THIGHS. 206 00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:18,926 HA HA HA HA HA HA! 207 00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:21,194 THAT'S OH SO FUNNY! 208 00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:27,701 OH, YEAH. ALL RIGHT. 209 00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:32,439 STEP RIGHT UP, KIDS, AND MEET THE GIRLS OF PHYSICS. 210 00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:35,676 EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM A BUNDLE OF MASS AND ENERGY. 211 00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:37,778 ARE YOU REALLY A LICENSED BIKINI INSPECTOR? 212 00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:41,882 UH, KIND OF. I'M A PHYSICS PROFESSOR, YOU UNDERSTAND? 213 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,484 NOW, FRIENDS, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT A LITTLE THING CALLED PHYSICS. 214 00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:46,654 YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES A CAR GO FAST? PHYSICS. 215 00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:50,123 AND YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES A CURVE BALL CURVE? WHY, PHYSICS! 216 00:09:50,157 --> 00:09:51,792 AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOT ME STANDING HERE 217 00:09:51,825 --> 00:09:53,861 INSTEAD OF FLOATING OUT THE WINDOW LIKE A PUFF OF SMOKE? 218 00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:55,262 INERTIA, WITH A CAPITAL "I". 219 00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:56,930 THAT RHYMES WITH pi, AND THAT STARTS WITH "P", 220 00:09:56,964 --> 00:10:00,033 AND THAT STANDS FOR PHYSICS. 221 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:04,972 YOUR FATHER IS AN INSULT TO THIS ENTIRE SCHOOL. 222 00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:06,106 I DON'T SEE YOUR DAD HERE. 223 00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:10,811 UH, MY DAD IS PERFORMING OPEN-HEART SURGERY RIGHT NOW. 224 00:10:10,844 --> 00:10:15,348 OH, COULDN'T CUT IT AS A BRAIN SURGEON? 225 00:10:15,382 --> 00:10:18,018 NOW, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT SOMETHING THAT'S REALLY HOT. 226 00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:21,254 INASMUCH AS "E" EQUALS COSINE "M" PLUS "I" SINE "M", 227 00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,456 WE GET ARBITRARY VALUES OF THE SEPARATION CONSTANT "P". 228 00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:24,191 NOW, WATCH THIS. 229 00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:25,859 I'M SORRY I'M LATE, KIDS, 230 00:10:25,893 --> 00:10:29,897 BUT I WAS INVOLVED IN ONE OF THE WORLD'S SCARIEST POLICE CHASES. 231 00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:30,798 HOW'D IT END? 232 00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:32,065 THE GUY GOT AWAY. 233 00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:32,933 OH! 234 00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:35,402 BUT I ROLLED MY CAR. 235 00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:37,537 COOL! COOL! 236 00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:38,939 OH, MAN, I WANT TO BE A COP. 237 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:42,609 IT'S NOT ALL GLAMOUR, KIDS, BUT IT'S MOSTLY GLAMOUR. 238 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,678 OH, AND, UH, GUNS. 239 00:10:44,712 --> 00:10:46,579 COOL! COOL! 240 00:10:46,613 --> 00:10:50,183 AND WHAT MAKES THAT POLICEMAN'S GUN SO COOL? PHYSICS! 241 00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:51,785 KINETIC ENERGY GENERATES THE VELOCITY 242 00:10:51,819 --> 00:10:53,520 WITH WHICH THE BULLET EXITS THE BARREL, 243 00:10:53,553 --> 00:10:55,723 WHILE THE BALLISTIC COEFFICIENT AND SECTIONAL DENSITY 244 00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:57,891 DETERMINE THE DAMAGE TO ITS TARGETS. 245 00:10:57,925 --> 00:11:01,328 GUNS DON'T KILL PEOPLE. PHYSICS KILLS PEOPLE! 246 00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:06,599 OOH...OHH! 247 00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:22,015 TONY! 248 00:11:31,558 --> 00:11:34,862 DICK, I TOLD YOU, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE COME TO CAREER DAY. 249 00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:37,798 OH, WHEN WE FIRST CAME TO THIS PLANET, I COULD'VE GOTTEN ANY JOB. 250 00:11:37,831 --> 00:11:41,735 COWBOY, ROCK STAR, INTERNATIONAL SUPERSPY. 251 00:11:41,769 --> 00:11:43,470 WHY DID I CHOOSE PHYSICS? 252 00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:45,806 DICK, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY. 253 00:11:45,839 --> 00:11:47,407 WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, 254 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:51,511 JUST SHUT UP AND EAT THE DAMN LEMONS. 255 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:52,579 WELL, I'VE HAD IT. 256 00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:55,215 I RENOUNCE PHYSICS AND ALL ITS USES AND APPLICATIONS, 257 00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:57,150 INCLUDING CONSERVATION OF MOMENTUM. 258 00:11:57,184 --> 00:11:57,717 WOO HOO HOO. 259 00:11:57,751 --> 00:12:00,120 I'M OUT. I'M OUT. 260 00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:00,988 HEY, GUYS. 261 00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:02,489 HEY. YO, DOOBIE. 262 00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:03,656 GIVE ME A MARGARITA, HARRY. 263 00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:04,657 WHAT ABOUT YOUR JOB? 264 00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:05,926 I'M ON THE JOB RIGHT NOW, BABY. 265 00:12:05,959 --> 00:12:07,995 ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT MARY'S PRESENTATION IS ALREADY PERFECT? 266 00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:10,730 WELL, SHE THINKS IT IS, AND I'M GETTING PAID NOT TO ARGUE. KA-CHING! 267 00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:11,932 [DING] 268 00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:13,466 YOU GOT LUCKY, DAMN YOU. 269 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,368 I'LL TELL YOU THE SECRET. YOU JUST PUCKER UP, 270 00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:18,872 VAPOR-LOCK ONTO YOUR BOSS'S BUTT, AND HOLD ON. 271 00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:21,975 NO INDEPENDENT THOUGHT REQUIRED. 272 00:12:22,009 --> 00:12:23,844 IN FACT, IT JUST GETS IN YOUR WAY. 273 00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:26,679 FREE THINKERS DIE IN THE DIRT LIKE DOGS, SALLY. 274 00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:28,481 HERE'S YOUR BOOZE. 275 00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:29,282 SALLY. 276 00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:32,019 DOOBIE, MY HOLLOW-LEGGED LADY FRIEND. 277 00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:35,088 ONE-EYED JIMMY'S GONNA GO OUT BACK AND FIGHT A MIDGET. 278 00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:35,989 YOU WANNA WATCH? 279 00:12:36,023 --> 00:12:38,225 YEAH. LET'S GO. 280 00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:39,159 CITIZENS. 281 00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:40,894 Everyone: DON! 282 00:12:40,928 --> 00:12:42,195 AH, WHAT'LL IT BE, OFFICER? 283 00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:44,697 OH, I'M JUST IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD CHECKING THINGS OUT. 284 00:12:44,731 --> 00:12:46,399 YOU GOT IT. ONE FREE CHEESEBURGER. 285 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,268 DON'T BE STINGY WITH THE ONIONS. 286 00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:49,502 HARRY, I'D LIKE A FREE CHEESEBURGER. 287 00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:50,971 YOU GOT IT. THAT'LL BE 6 BUCKS. 288 00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:53,373 OH! THAT'S IT! I WANT A NEW JOB! 289 00:12:53,406 --> 00:12:56,977 A JOB THAT COMES WITH RESPECT, STATURE, AND FREE CHEESEBURGERS. 290 00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:58,111 I WANT YOUR JOB. 291 00:12:58,145 --> 00:13:00,780 DICK, YOU DON'T KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT BEING A COP. 292 00:13:00,814 --> 00:13:05,318 IT'S A GRITTY JOB, WHERE A GOOD DAY IS ONE WHERE YOU COME HOME ALIVE. 293 00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:08,621 ISN'T THAT PRETTY MUCH A GOOD DAY FOR ANYONE? 294 00:13:09,522 --> 00:13:11,925 [POLICE RADIO CALL] 295 00:13:11,959 --> 00:13:13,226 I GOTTA GO BACK TO THE STATION. 296 00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:14,161 THEY'RE BRINGING IN A SUSPECT. 297 00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:15,528 HEY, DON, I WANT TO GO. 298 00:13:15,562 --> 00:13:17,998 I WANT TO HOLD A GUN AND FLASH A BADGE. 299 00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:20,000 I DON'T KNOW, DICK. IT'S ILLEGAL, IT'S DANGEROUS, 300 00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:23,603 AND IT VIOLATES THE SACRED OATH I TOOK WHEN I JOINED THE FORCE. 301 00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,005 SO DON'T TELL ANYONE. 302 00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:26,874 LET'S GO! 303 00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,744 ALL RIGHT, DICK. WE'RE GONNA GO IN THERE. 304 00:13:31,778 --> 00:13:33,746 WE'RE GONNA DO A LITTLE THING WE LIKE TO CALL 305 00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:35,748 "GOOD COP, BAD COP." 306 00:13:35,782 --> 00:13:37,150 YOU'RE GOOD COP. 307 00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:38,185 I'M DOWN WITH THAT. 308 00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:41,054 I'M GLAD. ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. 309 00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:47,961 HI, JONESY, I'M DICK. I LIKE YOUR SHIRT. 310 00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:52,799 SO, YOU SAY THAT YOU DIDN'T ROB ANY GAS STATION. 311 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,334 RIGHT, JONESY? YEAH. 312 00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:56,203 RIGHT. NOW, I... 313 00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:58,071 I BELIEVE YOU, BUT... 314 00:13:58,105 --> 00:13:59,439 THE THING IS... 315 00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:01,008 YOU'RE SCUM! 316 00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:02,943 I FIND CHUNKS OF YOU IN MY PUKE! 317 00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:04,411 SO DON'T YOU JERK ME AROUND! 318 00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:06,079 DICK! 319 00:14:06,113 --> 00:14:07,981 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 320 00:14:10,117 --> 00:14:11,218 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD COP. 321 00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:12,552 I AM! 322 00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:15,255 YOU'RE RAISING THE BAR TOO HIGH. YOU KNOW HOW BAD I HAVE TO BE NOW? 323 00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:17,057 REAL BAD! 324 00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:18,191 I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF. 325 00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:19,726 WHY DON'T YOU BE GOOD COP? 326 00:14:19,759 --> 00:14:23,563 THAT WAY, I CAN GO AS BIG AS I WANT. 327 00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:25,966 OK, I'LL BE GOOD COP. 328 00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:31,071 OH, WELL, YOU'LL HAVE TO, UH, EXCUSE MY PARTNER. 329 00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:33,140 HE'S GOT A REAL MEAN STREAK, 330 00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:36,209 BUT...I WANT TO HELP YOU OUT. 331 00:14:36,243 --> 00:14:38,245 SEE, I KNOW THAT YOU'RE A NICE... 332 00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:39,980 OH! 333 00:14:40,914 --> 00:14:43,050 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 334 00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:43,951 WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? 335 00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:45,318 I'M ALWAYS GOOD COP. 336 00:14:45,352 --> 00:14:47,254 THIS WAS MY ONE CHANCE TO BE BAD COP. 337 00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:48,788 BUT I'M A BAD GOOD COP. 338 00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:49,522 YOU'RE NOT EVEN A COP! 339 00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:51,624 WELL, CAN'T WE BOTH BE BAD COP? 340 00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:53,927 BUT THE WHOLE CONCEPT IS... 341 00:14:53,961 --> 00:14:56,129 OH, WHATEVER. 342 00:14:58,465 --> 00:14:59,466 NOW, I WANT ANSWERS! 343 00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:02,069 AND I REALLY WANT ANSWERS! 344 00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:06,439 HOW DO I LOOK? 345 00:15:06,473 --> 00:15:08,375 YOU LOOK FINE. 346 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,910 I LOVE BOLIVIAN MEN. 347 00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:14,381 THEY'RE LIKE HONDURANS, WITHOUT ALL THE ATTITUDE. 348 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:15,448 GOOD AFTERNOON, LADIES. 349 00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:16,916 OHH, DR. ALBRIGHT, 350 00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:18,051 WHAT A GREAT SUIT! 351 00:15:18,085 --> 00:15:21,288 WELL, THANK YOU, SALLY. 352 00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:24,757 SALLY, YOU SMELL LIKE JAGERMEISTER. 353 00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:28,795 SOMEBODY SPILLED IT ON ME IN THE LIBRARY. 354 00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:31,398 WELL, ONCE AGAIN, I WAS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY. 355 00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:32,299 IF I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER, 356 00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:35,135 I'D SWEAR YOU WERE A MORON. 357 00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:38,738 AYMARAN. 358 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:41,474 AYMARAN. 359 00:15:45,245 --> 00:15:47,147 COME ON. WE'RE YOUR FRIENDS. 360 00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:49,316 YOU DID IT, RIGHT? 361 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,351 NO. 362 00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:52,385 COME ON. 363 00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:54,621 YOU CAN TELL US. 364 00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:56,789 NO. I DIDN'T DO IT. 365 00:16:01,894 --> 00:16:04,231 WELL, SO MUCH FOR GOOD COP, GOOD COP. 366 00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:05,665 THERE'S NO SUCH THING! 367 00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:07,700 I TOLD YOU, THERE'S ONLY ONE PERMUTATION THAT WORKS. 368 00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:09,702 OK. I HAVE THIS IDEA. 369 00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:11,838 SAD COP, SOMEWHAT EFFEMINATE COP. 370 00:16:11,871 --> 00:16:13,073 GET OUT! 371 00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:14,107 GO HOME, DICK. 372 00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:15,342 YOU ARE NOT COP MATERIAL. 373 00:16:15,375 --> 00:16:16,276 I HA TO BE! 374 00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,045 IT'S NOT YOU. IT'S JUST NOT YOU. 375 00:16:18,078 --> 00:16:19,279 YOU'RE RIGHT. 376 00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:21,114 APPARENTLY, I WAS PUT ON THIS EARTH 377 00:16:21,148 --> 00:16:24,617 TO BORE A BUNCH OF UNRECEPTIVE DIMWITS TO THE END OF MY DAYS. 378 00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,086 IT'S MY LOT IN LIFE. 379 00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:29,589 WELL, I THINK WE BOTH LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY. LET'S HAVE LUNCH SOMETIME. 380 00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:31,658 LOOK... 381 00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:33,126 WHY DON'T YOU JUST LET ME GO? 382 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:35,262 BECAUSE I KNOW YOU DID IT, JONESY! 383 00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:37,797 YOU JUMPED THE FENCE, AND YOU STOLE THE MONEY. 384 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,166 BUT YOU GOT NO PROOF. 385 00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:42,202 BESIDES, I COULDN'T JUMP THAT FENCE. 386 00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:44,204 IT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. 387 00:16:46,773 --> 00:16:48,275 PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE? 388 00:16:48,308 --> 00:16:50,077 THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE WRONG. 389 00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:52,645 YOU MAY NOT HAVE MUCH RESPECT FOR THE LAW, JONESY, 390 00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:54,614 BUT THERE'S ONE LAW THAT YOU CAN'T BREAK: 391 00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:58,951 COULOMB'S THIRD LAW OF UNIVERSAL GRAVITATION. 392 00:16:58,985 --> 00:16:59,886 WHAT? 393 00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:01,788 IT STATES THAT THE FORCE BETWEEN 2 OBJECTS 394 00:17:01,821 --> 00:17:05,392 IS PROPORTIONAL TO THE ALGEBRAIC PRODUCTS OF THEIR RESPECTIVE CHARGES, 395 00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,427 AS WELL AS PROPORTIONAL TO THE INVERSE SQUARE 396 00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:10,029 OF THE DISTANCE BETWEEN THEM! 397 00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:13,400 BUT OF COURSE, YOU KNEW THAT, DIDN'T YOU, JONESY? 398 00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:16,035 NOT--NOT ALL OF IT. 399 00:17:17,604 --> 00:17:18,471 YOU'RE OBJECT "X," 400 00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:20,273 AND THE FENCE IS OBJECT "Y." 401 00:17:20,307 --> 00:17:22,709 NOW, WHERE "V" IS THE VELOCITY OF THE 2 OBJECTS, 402 00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:24,277 AND "R" IS THE DISTANCE BETWEEN THEM, 403 00:17:24,311 --> 00:17:27,847 AND "E" IS A UNIT VECTOR DIRECTED FROM THE FIRST OBJECT TO THE SECOND, 404 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,483 WE SEE THAT THE FENCE PROVED LITTLE CHALLENGE. 405 00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:31,584 WELL...I GUESS. 406 00:17:31,618 --> 00:17:34,454 YOU GUESS! I BET YOU GUESS. 407 00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:36,989 AND SO WE SEE THAT "X" EQUALS ZERO 408 00:17:37,023 --> 00:17:39,559 AS "Y" APPROACHES INFINITY! 409 00:17:39,592 --> 00:17:41,361 THAT'S HOW YOU AVOIDED THE SECURITY CAMERA. 410 00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:43,663 THAT'S HOW YOU MANAGED TO GET BACK OVER THE FENCE. 411 00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:46,666 THAT'S HOW THEY FOUND YOU EXACTLY 1.3 MILES FROM THE CRIME SCENE, 412 00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:48,135 PROVING THAT YOU AND ONLY YOU 413 00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:50,002 COULD HAVE PERPETRATED THIS HEINOUS CRIME! 414 00:17:50,036 --> 00:17:50,803 THERE'S THE PROOF! 415 00:17:50,837 --> 00:17:53,106 OK! OK! OK! YOU GOT ME! 416 00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:55,242 I DID IT! I DID IT! 417 00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:57,377 MY GOD! WHAT KIND OF A COP ARE YOU? 418 00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:58,945 I'M NOT A COP! 419 00:17:58,978 --> 00:18:02,249 I'M A PHYSICS PROFESSOR! 420 00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:09,956 OF COURSE, MY DAD DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. 421 00:18:09,989 --> 00:18:11,424 HE NEVER DID. 422 00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:15,162 AND HOW DID THAT MAKE YOU FEEL, CHET? 423 00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:17,063 ANGRY. 424 00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,165 WORTHLESS. 425 00:18:18,198 --> 00:18:22,869 OH. BUT YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT TRUE, NOW DON'T YOU, CHET? 426 00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:26,239 YEAH...YEAH, I DO. ALL RIGHT! 427 00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:26,739 [SIGHS] WELL... 428 00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:27,474 [DING] 429 00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:29,542 HAPPY HOUR'S OVER, CHET. 430 00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:31,378 BUT I THINK WE MADE SOME REAL PROGRESS. 431 00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:32,912 I FEEL BETTER. 432 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,714 YEAH. AND JUST REMEMBER... 433 00:18:34,747 --> 00:18:36,649 DON'T STOP DRINKING. 434 00:18:36,683 --> 00:18:37,450 THANKS, HARRY. 435 00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:38,518 ALL RIGHT, BUDDY. 436 00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:41,821 LINE 'EM UP, HARRY. 437 00:18:41,854 --> 00:18:43,122 5 MARTINIS. 438 00:18:43,156 --> 00:18:44,090 NO, HARRY. 439 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,526 DR. ALBRIGHT, WE SHOULD TAKE YOU HOME NOW. 440 00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:50,062 NO, NINA. I HAVE BRAIN CELLS THAT WILL REMEMBER THIS EVENING, 441 00:18:50,096 --> 00:18:52,932 AND I WANT THEM DESTROYED! 442 00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:54,834 HEY, DR. ALBRIGHT, HOW DID YOUR TALK GO? 443 00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:56,969 HOW DID MY TALK GO? 444 00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:58,771 LET'S SEE. 445 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,540 FIRST OF ALL, 446 00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:01,974 THE BOLIVIANS WERE HIGHLY AMUSED 447 00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:03,776 WHEN I CONFUSED THE NAME OF THEIR PRESIDENT 448 00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:07,480 WITH THE WORD FOR KAYAK. 449 00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:10,283 BUT THEY STOPPED LAUGHING WHEN... 450 00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:13,853 IN THEIR NATIVE TONGUE, I WELCOMED THEM TO MY... 451 00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:18,491 WOMANY PLACE AND TOLD THEM... 452 00:19:18,525 --> 00:19:22,462 I TOLD THEM THERE WAS ROOM FOR EVERYONE! 453 00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:25,198 TELL HER HOW YOU TOLD THEM THAT THEIR COUNTRY WAS A... 454 00:19:25,232 --> 00:19:28,335 SHINING EXAMPLE OF GOAT DEATH. 455 00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:32,572 I HOPE THIS ISN'T IN ANY WAY MY FAULT. 456 00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:33,640 IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! 457 00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:35,708 YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO CHECK THESE THINGS! 458 00:19:35,742 --> 00:19:38,278 YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. I LET YOU DOWN COMPLETELY. 459 00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:40,947 YES, YOU DID! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? 460 00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:43,916 I HAVE NO EXCUSE. IT'S JUST--IT'S JUST... 461 00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:46,819 REALLY INTIMIDATING WHEN YOU WORK FOR... 462 00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:48,421 FOR WHAT? 463 00:19:48,455 --> 00:19:50,623 SAY IT. 464 00:19:50,657 --> 00:19:52,825 A BITCH?! 465 00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:55,462 NO. 466 00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:57,797 A GENIUS! 467 00:20:06,273 --> 00:20:08,040 WELL, THAT'S NICE, BUT... 468 00:20:08,074 --> 00:20:09,141 I'M A PROFESSIONAL, 469 00:20:09,175 --> 00:20:11,378 AND I EXPECT OTHER PEOPLE TO BE PROFESSIONAL WITH ME. 470 00:20:11,411 --> 00:20:12,879 OF COURSE YOU DO. 471 00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:15,047 GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE? 472 00:20:15,081 --> 00:20:18,418 I'VE LET DOWN THE BRIGHTEST WOMAN ALIVE! 473 00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:19,352 OH, GOD! 474 00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:22,121 [SOBBING] 475 00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:27,460 OH, SALLY... 476 00:20:27,494 --> 00:20:29,529 DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP. 477 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,598 LET ME BUY YOU A DRINK. 478 00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:32,999 MARGARITA--ROCKS. NO SALT. 479 00:20:33,032 --> 00:20:35,535 HARRY! [DING] 480 00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:41,173 AND SO, USING COULOMB'S THIRD LAW, 481 00:20:41,207 --> 00:20:43,109 I WAS ABLE TO PROVE THAT HE DID IT. 482 00:20:43,142 --> 00:20:44,477 WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH IT? 483 00:20:44,511 --> 00:20:45,545 NOTHING. 484 00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:47,847 ALL I PROVED WAS THAT HE'S ROTATING AROUND THE SUN. 485 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,916 BUT HE DIDN'T KNOW THAT. 486 00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:51,017 THAT'S THE WONDERFUL THING ABOUT PHYSICS. 487 00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:53,386 NOBODY UNDERSTANDS IT. 488 00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:56,456 SO YOU CAN USE YOUR KNOWLEDGE TO BULLY PEOPLE INTO SUBMISSION. 489 00:20:56,489 --> 00:20:58,157 WELL, THAT'S THE PLAN. 490 00:20:58,190 --> 00:21:01,428 AS LONG AS AMERICA'S EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM REMAINS WOEFULLY INADEQUATE, 491 00:21:01,461 --> 00:21:03,363 I RULE. 492 00:21:03,396 --> 00:21:04,931 YES, YOU REALLY DO. 493 00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:06,366 WHAT YOU DO IS AMAZING. 494 00:21:06,399 --> 00:21:08,134 THANK YOU, SALLY. 495 00:21:08,167 --> 00:21:09,101 SOMETIMES I WISH YOU WERE DEAD 496 00:21:09,135 --> 00:21:11,771 SO THEY COULD PUT YOU ON A STAMP. 497 00:21:13,573 --> 00:21:16,376 SALLY, YOU'RE NOT KISSING MY BUTT, ARE YOU? 498 00:21:16,409 --> 00:21:18,210 A MAN OF YOUR STATURE? I WOULDN'T DARE. 499 00:21:18,244 --> 00:21:20,313 WELL...GOOD. HERE'S 20 BUCKS. 500 00:21:20,347 --> 00:21:22,214 THANKS. 501 00:21:27,387 --> 00:21:30,089 NOW THAT YOU'RE FEELING BETTER ABOUT YOUR CAREER AGAIN, 502 00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:31,658 DO I HAVE TO KEEP WORKING AT THE BAR? 503 00:21:31,691 --> 00:21:32,692 NO, HARRY. 504 00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:35,428 OH, GOOD. THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH PRESSURE. 505 00:21:35,462 --> 00:21:37,229 ALL THOSE PEOPLE AND THEIR PROBLEMS. 506 00:21:37,263 --> 00:21:41,267 NO. THERE'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE IN THE SODA GUN. YOU COULD PUT AN EYE OUT. 507 00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:44,637 WHY DO YOU THINK THEY CALL HIM ONE-EYED JIMMY? 508 00:21:44,671 --> 00:21:47,139 WAIT, HE LOST HIS EYE FROM SODA? 509 00:21:47,173 --> 00:21:49,409 YEAH. ROOT BEER. 510 00:21:49,442 --> 00:21:50,343 NO WONDER HE'S ANGRY. 511 00:21:50,377 --> 00:21:51,944 I WOULD BE. 512 00:21:51,978 --> 00:21:53,312 SO HOW WAS THE FIGHT? 513 00:21:53,346 --> 00:21:54,914 OH, SHORT.