1 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:33,844 Bernard, where's that civil service reform bill? 2 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,048 I thought you promised sir Humphrey you were going to abandon it. 3 00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:38,009 I never said abandon, 4 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:39,730 I said we could put it on the back burner. 5 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:41,809 That's civil service speak for abandoned. 6 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:44,084 - Where is it, Bernard? - It's gone. 7 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:48,082 - What do you mean gone? - Lost, discredited, shredded. 8 00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:50,242 One of those, ages ago. I can't remember exactly. 9 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:53,281 - Bernard! - It really wasn't very good. 10 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:56,928 Too general, badly argued, impracticable, over specific... 11 00:00:57,000 --> 00:01:00,243 Too general and over specific? 12 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:02,129 I kept a copy in your desk, Jim. 13 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:04,009 Ah! 14 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:09,366 Oh, yes. 15 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:15,968 This will really cramp their style, clip their wings, tie their hands. 16 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:18,930 Nothing has hands and wings, prime minister. 17 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,286 Didn't you just promise sir Humphrey 18 00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:22,727 that you were going to put civil service reform on the back burner? 19 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:24,928 And now I'm putting it back on the front burner. 20 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,287 Humphrey shouldn't have leaked that we were joining the euro. 21 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:30,364 Particularly, as I had no intention of doing so. 22 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:32,681 - He was trying to twist my arm. - I know, prime minister... 23 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,728 And he leaked it to golding brothers bank, 24 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:36,529 where he has a directorship lined up. 25 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:38,922 We cannot allow leaks to the city 26 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:42,209 designed to increase one's market value on retirement. 27 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:44,442 This revolving door problem must be dealt with. 28 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:45,760 But the leak was inaccurate. 29 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:49,083 That doesn't excuse it. That makes it worse. 30 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:51,643 And it caused the run on the pound, remember? 31 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:53,722 But it was done from the best of motives. 32 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:55,963 This loan from kumranistan 33 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:59,010 will help save your summit conference at Lancaster house. 34 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:01,208 His motive in leaking was to feather his own nest. 35 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:02,691 Full stop. Piss off. 36 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:08,447 The country will love it. It's a winner. 37 00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:12,361 And it will remind Humphrey who's running the country. 38 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:21,926 Sir Humphrey, the pm wants to talk to you again. 39 00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:23,644 Ugh. What is it now? 40 00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:27,207 I can't tell you. I am... I was told it's a secret. 41 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:29,561 Bernard, I am the one who decides what's secret. 42 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:32,168 But he intimated to me that he sees himself 43 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:34,402 as the proud successor to pitt and peel, 44 00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:36,767 to gladstone and disraeli and Churchill. 45 00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:40,403 He seems to think he's in charge and we're just paid officials. 46 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:41,721 Functionaries. 47 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:43,206 Good God! 48 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:47,291 It's not his business to interfere in the way government is run. 49 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:51,010 As the head of the home civil service, I am the true head of government. 50 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:54,568 But what's the prime minister then? ...Well, he's our marketing consultant. 51 00:02:56,720 --> 00:03:00,566 The party leaders pitch for our business every four or five years, Bernard. 52 00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:03,086 And the electorate simply chooses the mouthpiece of the moment. 53 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:05,726 But politicians do have their uses though, don't they? 54 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:07,768 Yes, they make the case for our policies on television 55 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:09,285 better than you and I would. 56 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:10,566 And when we write speeches, 57 00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:13,086 we need someone to read them out for us in the house of commons. 58 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:18,563 But they come and go, Bernard, whereas we stay. 59 00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:19,971 Permanence is power. 60 00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:22,042 I'm really not sure that's a good system. 61 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:24,282 It's made britain what she is today. 62 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:26,086 That's true. 63 00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:29,209 Ministers average 15 months in their jobs, Bernard. 64 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:31,647 And they're only in their departments part-time. 65 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:34,247 Their real job is getting re-elected. 66 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:37,403 Their attention and skill, well, such as it is, 67 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:42,361 is focused on the house of commons, their constituencies, the media, 68 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:44,169 and try to do down their opponents. 69 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:47,881 Whereas we are here for 30 or 40 years. 70 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:52,566 And we run a budget of I600 billion, Bernard. 71 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:56,087 It's quite obvious who's actually running the country. 72 00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,522 Well, it's not obvious to the pm. 73 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:02,246 Prime ministers have a special talent for missing the obvious. 74 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:05,922 And this one is exceptionally gifted in that regard. 75 00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:10,283 His capacity for self-deception borders on genius. 76 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:13,766 But the prime minister is the democratically-elected leader. 77 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,649 Oh, no, Bernard. 78 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:21,804 Bernard, prime ministers are the democratically-elected scapegoats. 79 00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:25,761 They are there to take the blame on those rare occasions 80 00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:27,490 when we do something badly. 81 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:29,085 But he makes policy decisions. 82 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:32,449 Well, he makes policy decisions, yes, but just trivial ones. 83 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:35,285 If he's going to start doing real things without our permission, 84 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:36,725 he must be stopped. 85 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:41,891 So your future, Bernard, depends on your telling me his secret. 86 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:43,804 Yes, sir Humphrey. 87 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:48,047 But I do have something else you might find rather interesting. 88 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:49,167 Well, go on. 89 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:53,325 Well, it seems they've just discovered another batch of mps' expenses claims. 90 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:54,890 - Yes. - And some of them are 91 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,611 from the prime minister before he was prime minister, 92 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:00,570 back when he was in opposition, after he was previously prime minister. 93 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:03,841 And? 94 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:06,810 And, well, urn, I'm not sure quite how to... 95 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:10,803 Well, some of them are not necessarily entirely, urn... 96 00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:15,841 Well, they might be possibly construed as, urn, not completely honest. 97 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:18,524 Really, Bernard? 98 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:21,721 How shocking. 99 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:24,440 Do tell me more. 100 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:26,809 Well, it seems that for four years 101 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:29,804 he claimed rental on a house in his constituency. 102 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:32,451 When, in fact, he actually stayed at his parents' house 103 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:36,002 - and sublet the constituency house. - Ah. 104 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:39,448 He failed to declare the rental income. It's all here. 105 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:42,091 Oh, this is terrible, Bernard. 106 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:44,720 Yes, sir Humphrey. 107 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:47,326 If this got out, he'd have to resign. 108 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:49,562 And this is tax fraud. 109 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:51,165 That's prison. 110 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:54,042 Anyway, he wants to see you now. 111 00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:55,566 Excellent. 112 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:58,088 I want to see him now. 113 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:04,449 Jim, just remember the old rule, never corner the rat, it may bite. 114 00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:07,404 - Give him an escape route. - He can't escape from this one. 115 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:10,131 He's coming. 116 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:14,085 Ah, Humphrey. Do sit down. 117 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:20,489 We've been talking about this leak. 118 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:21,761 What leak, prime minister? 119 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:24,451 About joining the euro. Surely you've heard. 120 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:26,170 It's all around the city, apparently. 121 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:28,049 Oh, that, yeah, well. 122 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:32,684 - What can you tell me about it? - I, prime minister? Nothing. 123 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,250 Except that I'm told there all these rumours, 124 00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:35,481 it happens all the time. 125 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:36,971 Oh, no, this is different. 126 00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:39,327 Hardly anybody knew about your plan 127 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,971 and then golding brothers bank started buying up 128 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,646 wads of Euros this afternoon. 129 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:45,960 Who tipped them off? 130 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:48,247 Well, if anybody did, we'll never find out. 131 00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:49,965 I think we will. 132 00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,487 Where did you have lunch yesterday, sir Humphrey? 133 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:54,561 Oh, I don't remember. 134 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:55,766 It was le Gavroche, sir Humphrey. 135 00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:57,080 Oh, yes. 136 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:00,609 Thank you, Bernard. 137 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:02,606 Le Gavroche. 138 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:04,170 - Why? - On your own? 139 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:06,607 Do you know, I don't recall. Who was it now? 140 00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:08,330 You don't remember that, either? 141 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:09,731 One has so many lunches. 142 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:11,848 One a day, in fact. 143 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:14,006 Yes, yes. 144 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:15,121 I understand. 145 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:17,601 Bernard, ring le Gavroche and ask the head waiter 146 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:19,330 who sir Humphrey had lunch with yesterday. 147 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:22,609 Yes, now, now, I remember now. It was some friends. 148 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:24,250 - Who were they? - Just friends. 149 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:27,210 Not directors of golding brothers bank? 150 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:29,767 Prime minister, one does not cross examine one's friends 151 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:32,241 as to which directorships they may happen to hold. 152 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:34,565 Well, we can easily find out. 153 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:36,205 What is the point, exactly? 154 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:40,444 The point is, there is bound to be suspicion in cases like this. 155 00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:42,761 Well, I can't see why, prime minister. 156 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:44,763 Surely you know the civil service will always do 157 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,444 what is best for the country. 158 00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:47,686 What about the government? 159 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,321 Well, I presume the government will, too. 160 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:52,842 Humphrey, many people suspect 161 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,400 the public officials are using government information 162 00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:57,608 to get themselves directorships 163 00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:01,002 and lucrative quangos for their retirement. 164 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:04,283 I don't know how you could even suggest such a thing. 165 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:08,490 You think this suspicion is unfair to loyal civil servants. 166 00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:09,686 Indeed I do. 167 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:12,764 Well, I'm afraid I share their suspicion. 168 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,410 Perhaps I'm wrong. 169 00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:17,165 But, to be sure, I have decided to go ahead 170 00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:19,846 with the civil service reform bill after all. 171 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:21,001 - What? - Yes. 172 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:23,481 I think you'll be very happy about this. 173 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:27,087 It will include a ban on any related jobs 174 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:30,721 for civil servants for five years after they retire. 175 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:32,804 No revolving door any more, 176 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:36,771 no paid directorships, no paid consultancies. 177 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:41,209 Prime minister, this is absurd. 178 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:42,884 Men of great wisdom, great experience, 179 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:46,009 leading figures of their generation, so much to offer. 180 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:48,481 And they can offer it, Humphrey. 181 00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:50,005 Pro Bono. 182 00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:51,366 That's Latin, Bernard. 183 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,841 - Pro Bono publico actually. - Exactly. 184 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:57,922 All that wisdom and experience can be offered 185 00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:02,483 to the unpaid, voluntary sector, Humphrey, for the public good. 186 00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:05,131 It will remove any temptation 187 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:09,728 to betray government confidences to commercial employers. 188 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,928 That will be a relief, won't it? 189 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:15,004 Well, it's never been a problem, prime minister. 190 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:16,571 We have a clearance committee. 191 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:18,961 Everybody's new job has to be approved by it. 192 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:21,247 Who appoints the members? 193 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:22,685 Oh, urn... 194 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:26,208 There is an established procedure. 195 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:28,204 You appoint them, sir Humphrey. 196 00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:29,721 Do I? 197 00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:32,607 Oh, yes. So I do. 198 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:35,205 Thank you, dear lady. 199 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:37,009 I do. As it happens. 200 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:41,007 We'll appoint an independent clearance Tsar. 201 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:44,243 Oh, no, please, prime minister, not another Tsar. 202 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:46,163 We need to bring outsiders in. 203 00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:48,402 I want a government of all the talents. 204 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:49,641 The civil service acronym 205 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:51,370 for government of all the talents is goats. 206 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:52,771 Yeah. 207 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:56,724 Thank you, Bernard. 208 00:09:57,840 --> 00:09:59,046 In the last three years, 209 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,771 you've appointed an enterprise Tsar, a youth crime Tsar, 210 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:03,842 a welfare Tsar, a pre-school supremo, 211 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:06,446 an unemployment watch dog, a banking regulator. 212 00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:08,522 Oh, a science and technology supremo, 213 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:10,728 and a community policing Tsar. 214 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:13,883 If you go on like this, you won't need a cabinet. 215 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:15,610 - Perfect! - What... 216 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:18,760 Perfect? Prime minister, we even have a Twitter Tsar. 217 00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:20,882 Her appointment was announced as a tweet. 218 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:23,684 Well, what is she supposed to achieve? 219 00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:26,240 None of these people have ever achieved anything. 220 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:28,049 They achieve their objective, 221 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:31,283 at least 12 column inches in every paper. 222 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:33,688 Merely by announcing them, it was achieved, 223 00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:36,764 it showed we were responsive, we were doing something. 224 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:38,444 And it shut the press up. 225 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:39,965 - And it didn't cost anything. - What? 226 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:43,044 The Twitter Tsar earns I160,000 a year. 227 00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:46,169 Cheap at the price. Headline news everywhere. 228 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:47,321 It would have cost a lot more 229 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:49,209 if we'd set them up with offices and staff. 230 00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:51,806 But that would have meant more index-linked pensions. 231 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:53,564 Which is something else 232 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:56,769 the civil service reform bill will address. 233 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,922 You're not really going to get rid 234 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,446 of index-linked pensions, prime minister? 235 00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:07,091 Prime minister, you wouldn't want to do that to the nurses, would you? 236 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:10,400 Or the dedicated teachers, 237 00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:13,211 the courageous policemen, the gallant firemen. 238 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:15,362 The starving permanent secretaries. 239 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:21,166 That is very droll. 240 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:22,885 Uh, prime min... 241 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:26,328 Actually, prime minister, I agree. Yes, I agree. 242 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:29,882 There are aspects of the organisation and administration of the public sector 243 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:32,486 which could certainly benefit from measured consideration 244 00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:36,246 in the context of changing circumstances and the structural metamorphosis 245 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,402 precipitated by the communications revolution. 246 00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:41,491 But it is important to bear in mind 247 00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:43,881 that the administrative practical conditions of service 248 00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:45,769 have evolved over many years 249 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:48,764 with manifold and complex inter-relationships. 250 00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:50,763 So, any attempt to vary one of them 251 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:52,922 could have serious and unforeseeable effects 252 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,321 and unpredictable repercussions on others. 253 00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:57,482 So, to that effect, I... 254 00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:02,280 I would suggest setting up a series of interdepartmental committees... 255 00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:04,010 Nope. 256 00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:05,686 No, Humphrey. 257 00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:08,525 No time for interdepartmental committees. 258 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:12,844 But there is one other change I'd welcome your views on. 259 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:14,121 Hmm, prime minister? 260 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:18,205 Would you call yourself a generalist with your degree in classics? 261 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:21,006 Oh, yes, indeed, I would. It's a first-class degree, actually. 262 00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:23,846 - Me, too. - Claire got a double first. 263 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:27,687 Claire, tell sir Humphrey what your phd thesis at Cambridge was all about. 264 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:31,043 R was naked civil service, the pretence and the practice. 265 00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:34,480 Very impressive, good lady. 266 00:12:34,560 --> 00:12:37,370 It was published by the university press. 267 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:38,441 What a pity. 268 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:41,683 The publishers seem to be struggling to survive nowadays. 269 00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:43,000 I wonder why? 270 00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:46,844 Claire has thought of a way to improve the civil service. 271 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:48,160 That's impossible. 272 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:51,561 - To improve the service? - Or that I thought of a way? 273 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:58,286 The point is, I was over at the ministry of defence last week. 274 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,886 I find them rather impressive, don't you? 275 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:02,246 Well, I do. 276 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:04,687 And what was really impressive was 277 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:07,650 they actually knew what they were talking about. 278 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:11,085 They were qualified professionals, 279 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:16,087 soldiers, generals, admirals, experienced commanders. 280 00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:19,084 Now, all our other government departments are staffed 281 00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:24,644 by historians, literature graduates, classicists. 282 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,530 Ah, excellent. Men with the wisdom of the ages. 283 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:30,331 No, Humphrey! Amateurs! 284 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:33,248 - Amateurs? - We should have teachers 285 00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:34,970 at the department of education. 286 00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:37,287 Doctors and nurses at the department of health. 287 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:39,767 Accountants and actuaries at the treasury. 288 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:43,646 Experts! People who actually know what needs to be done! 289 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:47,122 I think that would be very dangerous, prime minister. 290 00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:51,804 I want advice from real people, 291 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:55,363 who are living in the real world, doing the real jobs. 292 00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:57,329 Prime minister, you are striking 293 00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:59,607 at the very heart of our whole system of government. 294 00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:04,288 Our success is founded upon staying free from the taint of professionalism 295 00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:08,242 and the corruption of specialist knowledge. 296 00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:09,481 You're not seriously going to... 297 00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:12,405 You wouldn't... would he, Bernard? 298 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:16,209 I would. 299 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:19,808 Well, before you go any further, prime minister, 300 00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:22,645 I have another problem. 301 00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:26,088 - You have another problem? - Yes, prime minister. 302 00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:30,450 Oh, poor old Humphrey, not your day, is it? 303 00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:32,600 No, indeed. 304 00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:36,164 Come on, then, out with it. 305 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:38,242 Well, it's about mp5' expenses. 306 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:39,606 I thought that was all over. 307 00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:42,331 Well, the treasury auditors have come up with another batch 308 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:43,925 earlier than the ones that have been published. 309 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,367 Not a problem, we deal with them like the last lot. 310 00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:48,568 Even if it means more criminal prosecutions? 311 00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:51,723 Humphrey, if people break the law, they have to take the consequences. 312 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:55,361 - Even if it was some time ago? - Of course. 313 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:58,683 And even if some of the offenders have now reached positions of eminence? 314 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,929 - That depends. - No, Claire, it doesn't. 315 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,207 The law is no respecter of persons. 316 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:07,648 Prime minister, there are sometimes extenuating circumstances... 317 00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:10,326 No, if people do wrong, 318 00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:12,528 they have to be punished without fear or favour, 319 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:15,331 no matter who they are or how long ago it happened. 320 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:18,370 - Does that solve your problem, Humphrey? - No. 321 00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:21,050 Not entirely, prime minister. 322 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,771 - Prime minister, I really must... - Quiet, Claire. 323 00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:28,571 Well, one of the claims is clearly fraudulent and very large. 324 00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:33,043 It concerns an opposition mp who claimed the rental of a home in his constituency 325 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:36,124 whereas he actually stayed with his parents. 326 00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:38,805 He sublet the house 327 00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:41,486 and he pocketed the rental without declaring it. 328 00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:49,086 An opposition mp? ...Well, he was in opposition then. 329 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:51,283 He's in government now. 330 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,686 Not to put too fine a point on it, prime minister, 331 00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:56,171 he's the prime minister, 332 00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:58,970 prime minister. 333 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:01,451 It's all here. 334 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:04,886 Ah, yes. 335 00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:08,963 Well, no, this... uh, this is... 336 00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:14,247 I mean, you have to understand this, this was years ago. 337 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:16,808 Yes, but within the statute of limitations. 338 00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:20,043 No, no, you don't understand, there was... there was terrific pressure 339 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:22,282 not to raise mps' salaries, 340 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:25,603 so the whips encouraged us to find other ways. 341 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:29,127 Everybody was doing it. It was a sort of gentlemen's agreement. 342 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:31,567 So, you're happy for me to release this? 343 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:32,926 No! 344 00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:35,883 No, people wouldn't understand, 345 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:39,043 and the press always make a meal of this sort of thing. 346 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:41,566 Yes, but you do see my problem, prime minister. 347 00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:46,168 I mean, you command my complete loyalty. I am your servant. 348 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,083 But the law is the law. 349 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:50,401 And the law concerning being an accessory 350 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:54,451 to a criminal act is very clear. 351 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:03,290 - Is this a photocopy? - Yes. 352 00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:09,401 It does put me in a very difficult position, prime minister. 353 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:11,321 I see. 354 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:14,251 Prime minister, may I have a word with you in private? 355 00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:16,525 Oh, oh, yes. 356 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:18,841 Urn... would you excuse us please, Humphrey? 357 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:22,402 Oh, yes. And the reform to the civil service bill? 358 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:24,687 - You'll think about it. - I'll think about it. 359 00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:28,128 Thank you, prime minister. 360 00:17:30,360 --> 00:17:31,930 Him, too. 361 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,684 Really? Urn... 362 00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:37,124 Bernard, Claire and I are having a private word. 363 00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:38,401 Fine. 364 00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:43,726 Yes, it won't be private until you've actually gone. 365 00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:46,566 Oh, I see. 366 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:48,768 I thought that as I was your principal private secretary, 367 00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:49,921 I was privy to... 368 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,401 - Oh, get out, Bernard! - Yes, prime minister. 369 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:56,361 Claire, what am I going to do? 370 00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:58,727 If I go ahead with civil service reform, 371 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:02,088 he'll spill the beans about my expenses claims. 372 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:03,241 It's blackmail. 373 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:05,891 I think Humphrey would call it a negotiating position. 374 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:09,169 It isn't. I'm not in a position to negotiate. 375 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:10,480 I think you are. 376 00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:12,847 I told you I was looking into Humphrey's affairs. 377 00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:15,764 Jim, have you ever heard of government procurement cards? 378 00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:17,080 No. What are they? 379 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:18,725 They're just ordinary credit cards really, 380 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:20,723 except for the government picks up the tab. 381 00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:23,651 Used by civil servants for government purchases. 382 00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:26,810 You mean stationery, rail fares, that sort of thing? 383 00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:28,211 In theory. 384 00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:30,361 And in practice? 385 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:34,764 In practice, there are bills from pubs, pizza parlours, 386 00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:39,289 karaoke bars, gift websites, visits to tesco. 387 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:42,563 - Using public money? - For private purchases, yes. 388 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:44,762 And the person ultimately responsible for this 389 00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:47,081 is the head of the civil service. 390 00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:48,926 Humphrey! 391 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:53,646 So, naturally, I checked his personal procurement card. 392 00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:55,971 Naturally. 393 00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:00,083 Why didn't you tell me till now? 394 00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:04,085 I dint want to corner the rat, but now that it's bitten you, 395 00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:06,527 I think we have no choice but to kill it. 396 00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:10,811 Haslemere riding school? 397 00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:12,406 His daughter likes horses. 398 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:16,323 Thank you, Claire. You are indispensable. 399 00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:20,409 I think we might have word with him about this. 400 00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:25,928 Bernard, could you and Humphrey come back in here, please? 401 00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:28,085 If you look on this page here, 402 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:30,527 you'll find some very interesting statistics 403 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:32,648 about the whole procurement card business. 404 00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:36,329 Extraordinary! I had no idea. 405 00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:39,085 Ah! 406 00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:41,242 You wanted a word, prime minister? 407 00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:44,285 Well, really I want your help. 408 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:48,324 Well, that could be difficult. This is a serious criminal matter. 409 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:50,608 Are you by any chance referring to my expenses? 410 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:52,689 Well, yes, that is what we were discussing. 411 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:54,922 Just to digress for a moment. 412 00:19:55,360 --> 00:20:00,287 Urn, I want your help in understanding procurement cards. 413 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:04,724 Oh, well, they're just government credit cards for official purchases. 414 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:07,605 - How many civil servants have them? - A few hundred, maybe. 415 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:11,241 Well, if you include local government, maybe getting on to 1,000. 416 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:13,727 And how much is spent on them, roughly? 417 00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:15,444 Oh, a few hundred thousand, maybe. 418 00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:16,646 According to my information 419 00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:20,770 there are 140,000 procurement cards circulating within the public sector. 420 00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:23,600 I can't imagine where you got that figure. 421 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:25,648 I got it from the controller-general's office. 422 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:28,965 Oh, well, then, of course, yes. Well, it... 423 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:32,167 I mean, yes... That really is surprising. 424 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:35,084 - Did it surprise you, Bernard? - No, sir Humphrey. 425 00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:38,009 Well, it surprises me. 426 00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:41,926 But the annual cost is rather more than a few hundred thousand pounds. 427 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:44,526 Oh, well, if you include everything, I suppose, at the end of the day 428 00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:47,410 with one thing or another, it could be getting on for, urn... 429 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,289 Urn, maybe a million. 430 00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:51,681 - Rather more. - Million and a half. 431 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:54,165 Two million? 432 00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:57,571 - Surely not. - A billion, sir Humphrey. 433 00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:00,047 One thousand million pounds a year. 434 00:21:00,120 --> 00:21:02,566 I can't believe that. Can you believe that, Bernard? 435 00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:04,369 Yes, sir Humphrey. 436 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:08,809 Well, I can't! It just goes to show, doesn't it? 437 00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:11,087 What an expensive business government is. 438 00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:12,650 - Certainly does. - Yes. 439 00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:16,167 Stationery, office furniture, electrical goods, legal services... 440 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:20,450 Pubs, pizza parlours, supermarkets, karaoke bars... 441 00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:21,806 Surely not. 442 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,804 Oh, yes, Humphrey, they're all in here. 443 00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:26,882 Thousands and thousands of them. 444 00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:28,644 I'm shocked. Aren't you shocked, Bernard? 445 00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:30,370 No, sir Humphrey. 446 00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:35,646 But, Humphrey, aren't you responsible for this? 447 00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:37,802 Well, yes, but you cannot expect me to monitor 448 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,406 every item on every government procurement card... 449 00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:43,848 Now, prime minister, if this is an attempt to distract 450 00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:46,924 from the serious matter of your dubious expenses claim... 451 00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:48,326 Certainly not! 452 00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:51,768 But you are expected to know about a billion pounds' worth of expenditure 453 00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:53,046 by your officials. 454 00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:56,210 Oh, yes, of course, thank you very much for reminding me, dear lady. 455 00:21:57,040 --> 00:22:00,283 Any fraudulent offenders will be very severely dealt with. 456 00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:03,603 With the full rigour of service disciplinary procedures. 457 00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:05,489 - Certainly. - And criminal charges, 458 00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:07,289 - where appropriate. - Most certainly. 459 00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:08,601 Good! 460 00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:15,524 Because I've been looking at your own procurement card spending. 461 00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:19,010 Those are confidential documents, they're not for disclosure! 462 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:21,128 They've been disclosed at the prime minister's request. 463 00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:23,680 You seem to have charged a lot of restaurant bills, 464 00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,285 very expensive restaurants. 465 00:22:25,360 --> 00:22:27,044 Yes, it's government hospitality. 466 00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:32,684 Club subscriptions, the mcc, golf clubs, the Athenaeum. 467 00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:34,410 Well, I have to socialise 468 00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:37,245 with many important people, in the national interest. 469 00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:40,802 Three cases of chateau Margaux from Berry brothers wine merchants 470 00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:42,644 delivered to your home address. 471 00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:45,644 Two weeks for you and lady Appleby at a hotel in Deauville 472 00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:48,530 coinciding with your summer leave. 473 00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:50,648 Riding lessons in haslemere. 474 00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:53,200 Orchids from haslemere florists limited. 475 00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:55,608 Let's get to the point, sir Humphrey. 476 00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,365 If you reopen the question of mp5' expenses, 477 00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:02,764 you will, in fact, be joining the prime minister in a career suicide pact. 478 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:06,161 Do you want that? 479 00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:09,608 Dear lady, how could you even suggest such a thing? 480 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:12,968 I am the prime minister's humble servant. 481 00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:14,605 - Therefore? - Therefore, 482 00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:16,762 his interests are Paramount in my thoughts. 483 00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:18,046 Therefore? 484 00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:22,206 Well, therefore, while it is true that, in principle, 485 00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:24,089 the activities and procedures of government 486 00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:27,164 should be conducted with unimpeachable transparency 487 00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:30,767 and, indeed, punished with unmitigated vigour, 488 00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:33,605 it would be unrealistic and, indeed, rather foolish 489 00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:37,287 to ignore the possibility that, under the pressure of unforeseen events, 490 00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:40,170 circumstances and situations can arise 491 00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:44,405 in which the principle of transparency, if too literally applied, 492 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:46,881 could precipitate a series of consequences 493 00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:49,884 which might not only cause grave embarrassment to the government, 494 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:53,760 but also inflict severe damage on the national interest. 495 00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:59,281 Rendering it, therefore, not only tactically expedient, 496 00:23:59,360 --> 00:24:02,330 but also politically advisable, nay, indeed imperative, 497 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:05,006 to suspend, purely temporarily of course, 498 00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:09,286 the principle of universal freedom of information 499 00:24:09,360 --> 00:24:12,762 and to withhold, entirely in the public interest, 500 00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:16,242 information which might simultaneously bring unwarranted disrepute 501 00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:17,526 on the affairs of state 502 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:20,888 and unfairly undermine confidence 503 00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:23,850 in the probity and competence of those to whom has been given 504 00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:26,241 the responsibility for the conduct of affairs. 505 00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:31,649 Sweep it under the carpet, you mean? 506 00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:33,245 Oh, no, prime minister. 507 00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:35,527 Nothing should ever be swept under the carpet. 508 00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:37,489 Merely held over till the time is ripe. 509 00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:40,120 He means sweep it under the carpet. 510 00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:42,728 Excellent advice, Humphrey. 511 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:46,482 Because we still have this ongoing crisis. 512 00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:49,291 We still need this loan from kumranistan, 513 00:24:49,360 --> 00:24:51,840 which you say has to be in Euros, 514 00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:54,969 but, as you know, I won't join the euro. 515 00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:56,964 Well, if you don't, prime minister, 516 00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:59,088 and if Europe does not get this loan, 517 00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:03,006 it will be engulfed in a complete financial meltdown. 518 00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:06,766 And the civil service reform bill, what shall we do about that? 519 00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:08,808 Yes, I've been thinking about that. 520 00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:13,010 And, alas, I don't think you've got time for it in this parliamentary session. 521 00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:14,206 No. 522 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:18,888 No, not if our share of the Kumranistani loan comes in pounds 523 00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:21,361 because we'd have to pass a new finance act. 524 00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:27,449 But if it were to come in Euros, it would all be handled in brussels, 525 00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:32,564 leaving us plenty of time for civil service reform. 526 00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:38,611 Ah! 527 00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:42,241 So, you mean, prime minister, 528 00:25:42,360 --> 00:25:45,648 that if the European central bank agreed 529 00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:49,645 that the monies could go direct to the individual countries... 530 00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:51,802 In their chosen currency. 531 00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:55,880 Then civil service reform would go back on the back burner. 532 00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:57,241 Ah! 533 00:25:57,320 --> 00:25:58,845 But you said they wouldn't agree. 534 00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:01,161 No, I said I didn't think they'd agree. 535 00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:04,681 - I could be wrong. - Ah! 536 00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:06,730 Say that again. 537 00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:14,721 I said, I could be wrong. 538 00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:17,803 Leave it with me, prime minister. 539 00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:20,720 Bernard. 540 00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:24,643 Well played, Jim. 541 00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:31,005 Oh, Gerhard. Can you spare a moment? 542 00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:32,411 Of course. 543 00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:36,930 It's about this kumranistan loan. 544 00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:38,451 You know what I think. 545 00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:41,524 It's a lifeline for Europe and your absurd government is blocking it. 546 00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:45,762 You think Humphrey can square the European central bank? 547 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:48,241 I think so. He'll be talking to Gerhard muller right now. 548 00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:50,926 The President of the ecb, he's here? 549 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,924 Yes, to complete the arrangements with mr Aitikeev. 550 00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:57,802 - Could you go ahead without us? - I don't see how. 551 00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,651 The kumranistanis want a guarantee of British oil purchases. 552 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:03,121 You have over 60 million people in your country. 553 00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:06,488 And the loan must be in Euros? 554 00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:08,762 But it was you who insisted on that. 555 00:27:10,120 --> 00:27:12,248 It would be a major step towards a United States of Europe, 556 00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:13,651 which you and I have always wanted. 557 00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:18,089 Well, yes, but the prime minister won't go along with it. 558 00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:20,049 Then get another prime minister. 559 00:27:20,120 --> 00:27:22,566 Can't do that tonight, Gerhard. Be reasonable. 560 00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:23,721 Well, I don't see why not. 561 00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:26,451 Most of his cabinet want the job. They've all mentioned it to me. 562 00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:28,966 The home secretary, the foreign secretary, the chancellor. 563 00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:31,850 Yes, but none of them will challenge him on this. 564 00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:34,764 We still have some elements of a democracy in britain, 565 00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:36,650 alas! 566 00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:39,249 So, is britain blowing the deal? 567 00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:42,762 Not if we can get our share of the loan in sterling. 568 00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:45,802 Well, that's too bad. 569 00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:48,850 Jim hacker is against all the principles of the European super state. 570 00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:51,161 - Yes. - His request is contrary 571 00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:52,844 to the whole spirit of the European movement. 572 00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:54,729 - Yes. - He is setting back, 573 00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:57,451 by years, britain's final integration into Europe. 574 00:27:57,520 --> 00:28:00,444 Yes, but 10 trillion dollars. 575 00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:01,721 Exactly. 576 00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:04,964 - So you agree. - Of course. I have no choice. 577 00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:06,923 Do you have to square it with any other countries? 578 00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:08,366 No, that would be anarchy. 579 00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:10,522 Brussels decides, then everyone does what we say. 580 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:13,640 That's how we do things in Europe. 581 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,002 - I'm envious. - Of course. 582 00:28:19,120 --> 00:28:21,851 In my opinion, Humphrey was just trying it on. 583 00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:24,730 Ramping up pressure on you to agree to the join the euro. 584 00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:28,009 So that's why he leaked his plans to his banking chums. 585 00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:29,684 I doubt if he meant to. 586 00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:31,922 I expect he was just sucking up to them. 587 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:33,490 Showing how useful he could be. 588 00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:35,927 He was probably horrified when they started buying Euros. 589 00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:39,163 He has going to have to do some explaining to Gerhard muller. 590 00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:40,566 He'll blame you. 591 00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:43,887 Prime minister, I've just had a word 592 00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:45,883 with the head of the European central bank. 593 00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:47,291 Yes. And? 594 00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:49,806 Well, it seems that the alternative economic arrangement 595 00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:52,611 which you stipulated could conceivably be accommodated 596 00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:54,728 within the current proposed formalities, 597 00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:58,965 as long as they can be diplomatically and democratically resolved. 598 00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:01,044 Is that a yes or a no, Bernard? 599 00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:03,041 Yes, prime minister. 600 00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:05,124 Yes, it's a yes, or yes, it's a no? 601 00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:06,645 No, it's a yes, prime minister.