1 00:00:53,340 --> 00:00:55,660 So, let's all check our diaries. 2 00:00:57,540 --> 00:00:59,360 15th, Friday morning at Jean's. 3 00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:00,960 15th. 4 00:01:01,660 --> 00:01:03,280 31st, the faith. 5 00:01:04,540 --> 00:01:06,440 Ruth will run the rummage store. 6 00:01:06,660 --> 00:01:07,660 As always. 7 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:11,580 7th of August, spring and biface. 8 00:01:13,300 --> 00:01:17,760 And 14th, open day for my garden. 9 00:01:18,060 --> 00:01:21,380 Oh, lovely. Thank you. 10 00:01:22,580 --> 00:01:25,860 If I can get it presentable by then. 11 00:01:26,060 --> 00:01:27,060 Oh, I'm sure you can. 12 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:30,300 How much do you think we should charge? 13 00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:34,160 Do you think people would pay a pound? No. Oh, I don't think I can. 14 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:36,360 Now, then, 15 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:40,320 Sibyl has designed us some smashing posters. 16 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:46,960 Level. What do you think? Now, please, all take some and get them to... 17 00:02:07,380 --> 00:02:10,440 Any other business? 18 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:12,779 I can't think of anything. 19 00:02:12,780 --> 00:02:14,420 Right, it's next Wednesday, June. 20 00:02:15,020 --> 00:02:19,880 Very good. Is 11 o 'clock all right for you, Ruth? Yes, 11 o 'clock. And now, 21 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:23,420 let's all sample some of Ruth's delicious gold. 22 00:02:23,620 --> 00:02:26,620 Oh, God, little Norman, they're naughty of you. They're very ordinary. 23 00:02:28,820 --> 00:02:29,820 Monkey gym. 24 00:02:30,660 --> 00:02:31,880 Monkey gym at the zoo. 25 00:02:32,580 --> 00:02:34,080 Monkey gym in the jungle. 26 00:02:34,300 --> 00:02:35,860 Monkey gym goes to feed. 27 00:02:37,700 --> 00:02:40,940 What the hell else can I do? I'm starting to repeat myself. 28 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:45,500 Would you believe it? Two boys from the local school bought themselves a metal 29 00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:51,900 detector and they have just unearthed a Roman pot containing coins valued at £70 30 00:02:51,900 --> 00:02:55,640 ,000. One more, Monkey Jim, and that'll be it. 31 00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:58,320 £70 ,000. I'm written out now. I've had it. 32 00:03:00,340 --> 00:03:01,340 Come on. 33 00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:06,460 Come on, be a bit of help for a change. I mean, Monkey Jim, Monkey Jim... Monkey 34 00:03:06,460 --> 00:03:07,460 Jim in Timbuktu. 35 00:03:08,660 --> 00:03:09,660 Not bad. 36 00:03:11,610 --> 00:03:12,610 Our bank. 37 00:03:12,930 --> 00:03:14,030 Monkey gym. 38 00:03:15,770 --> 00:03:16,770 Timbuk2. 39 00:03:30,030 --> 00:03:32,790 Your sweet sister has finished her committee meeting. 40 00:03:43,660 --> 00:03:46,040 Norm has been chairing meetings since she was ten. 41 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:48,780 Boss, boss, boss. 42 00:04:09,420 --> 00:04:12,680 Please, the open date of the garden will be the 14th. 43 00:04:13,070 --> 00:04:16,990 Well, Miss Norman, I can't answer what it looked like. And you know why. I was 44 00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:18,570 promised help, but I don't get any. 45 00:04:19,290 --> 00:04:22,170 Yes, well, I'm sure if we all put our shoulders to the wheel. 46 00:04:22,490 --> 00:04:23,910 Well, my shoulders to the wheel. 47 00:04:24,190 --> 00:04:25,870 Somebody else is sitting on the back side. 48 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:44,080 Why don't you write a novel? 49 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:46,940 You know, a novel, a grown -up book. Yes, I heard you. I can't write a novel. 50 00:04:53,020 --> 00:04:56,440 I can't write a novel. I cannot write a novel. I am trying to write a novel, and 51 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:59,980 I can't. Oh, my heavens, David, I am sick and tired of hearing you moan about 52 00:04:59,980 --> 00:05:02,200 Monkey Jim. Anyone would think you were Charles Dickens. 53 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:05,080 It's only 10 ,000 words for a 10 -year -old moron. 54 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:09,680 Sorry. Have I come at a bad moment? I've never known you come at a good one. 55 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:10,869 Bob. 56 00:05:10,870 --> 00:05:12,550 Norma Resculus, you know that. 57 00:05:13,590 --> 00:05:16,730 Look, I don't expect you to love each other, but you mean to be just plain 58 00:05:16,730 --> 00:05:17,730 bloody rude. 59 00:05:18,450 --> 00:05:20,870 Well, I'm going to be plain bloody rude. 60 00:05:21,810 --> 00:05:25,670 Your husband's a layabout and a scrounger. Norma, please. 61 00:05:26,150 --> 00:05:28,030 You've come back from Rhodesia without a penny. 62 00:05:28,250 --> 00:05:32,150 And I say you can have this lodge rent -free if you'll help Crisp with the 63 00:05:32,150 --> 00:05:36,770 garden. And you'll lie around from morning to night without so much as 64 00:05:36,770 --> 00:05:37,770 up a thistle. 65 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:41,440 I've written 30 applications for jobs in the last month. Is it my fault if 66 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:42,359 there's a recession? 67 00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:46,560 And while you were sunning yourself in your safari paradise, I was nursing 68 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:50,760 for five years. Because you didn't want to go into a home, and I wouldn't let 69 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:53,500 him. Well, you didn't do too badly out of it, Norma. You ended up with 70 00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:54,620 everything, and Emily got nothing. 71 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:56,120 And I earned it. 72 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:57,440 Every penny. 73 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:01,380 If you rat an hour, Barney, you can clear off. 74 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:04,000 Go back to Zimbabwe, or whatever it's called. 75 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:12,640 I could let this lodge for 50 pounds a week. 76 00:06:15,900 --> 00:06:19,260 I promised Daddy before he died that I would never sell this place. 77 00:06:21,100 --> 00:06:24,140 And I'd look after the garden that he made for his own hands. 78 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:28,300 And keep it just the same. 79 00:06:29,740 --> 00:06:30,740 She's right, Bob. 80 00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:33,420 It's not working, is it? 81 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:35,780 Not for any of us. 82 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:55,460 You live off the state. 83 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:59,340 I sweat my guts. I sweat my guts out of a monkey bin. 84 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:04,800 I haven't bought myself a pair of tights or a piece of cake in months. 85 00:07:05,460 --> 00:07:09,380 And now you're going to spend a hundred pounds, a hundred pounds on another of 86 00:07:09,380 --> 00:07:12,340 your stupid ideas. Here we go, another one of your artistic tantrums. 87 00:07:12,580 --> 00:07:14,720 Look, if you can't make a living out of the monkey tin, why don't you get 88 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:17,440 yourself a job as a typist or a barmaid? At least I get some peace. 89 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:21,720 You'd like to be rid of me, is that it? You want me out of the way? 90 00:07:22,890 --> 00:07:24,330 Quite a ding -dong. 91 00:08:09,290 --> 00:08:12,130 I didn't knock because it is, after all, my property. 92 00:08:13,630 --> 00:08:16,510 And I switched that off because I know for a fact that Emily bought it. 93 00:08:17,930 --> 00:08:21,370 And I doubt if you've bought yourself anything more than a can of beer since 94 00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:22,610 your first wife died. 95 00:08:24,650 --> 00:08:25,650 What do you want? 96 00:08:26,510 --> 00:08:27,950 I want to know one thing. 97 00:08:28,810 --> 00:08:29,810 Where is Emily? 98 00:08:33,049 --> 00:08:36,789 She's away. I know she's away. No one's seen her for the past three weeks. Where 99 00:08:36,789 --> 00:08:37,789 is she? 100 00:08:40,590 --> 00:08:44,070 She had this new monkey gym book to finish, deadline end of September. 101 00:08:45,190 --> 00:08:48,090 She said the only way she was going to do it was if she got away by herself 102 00:08:48,090 --> 00:08:49,090 somewhere. 103 00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:54,310 May I have her address and telephone number? 104 00:08:58,370 --> 00:08:59,530 Didn't want anyone to know it. 105 00:09:00,430 --> 00:09:01,430 Not her agent. 106 00:09:01,970 --> 00:09:02,970 Not her publisher. 107 00:09:03,950 --> 00:09:05,090 Not her illustrator. 108 00:09:07,030 --> 00:09:08,310 And especially not you. 109 00:09:18,510 --> 00:09:21,690 If she's gone away to write, why has she left her time writer? 110 00:09:25,950 --> 00:09:26,950 Bought a new one. 111 00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:29,150 Connectory. 112 00:09:30,730 --> 00:09:32,790 Has she gone off with someone else? 113 00:09:34,010 --> 00:09:35,450 I wouldn't blame her. 114 00:09:37,750 --> 00:09:42,510 What about all those schemes of yours that never made any money? 115 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,650 Such daring schemes. 116 00:09:46,590 --> 00:09:51,010 And underneath, such an undaring man. 117 00:09:54,250 --> 00:09:55,410 You're in the way. 118 00:09:55,850 --> 00:09:56,850 Again. 119 00:09:59,070 --> 00:10:00,150 Damn you. 120 00:10:51,079 --> 00:10:53,120 She's been away now over a month. 121 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:56,820 Well, you can imagine what I think. 122 00:10:59,140 --> 00:11:05,060 His first wife died in a shooting accident on safari in Africa after he'd 123 00:11:05,060 --> 00:11:06,980 insured her life for £20 ,000. 124 00:11:07,949 --> 00:11:09,910 No. Well, what did he do with it? 125 00:11:10,210 --> 00:11:11,210 Lost the lot. 126 00:11:11,470 --> 00:11:13,410 Running a bar in Bulawayo. 127 00:11:13,870 --> 00:11:17,830 Disgrace. Well, surely you've a legal right to make him tell you where she is. 128 00:11:18,170 --> 00:11:21,750 Jean, I'm a magistrate. She knows the law, dear. 129 00:11:24,530 --> 00:11:25,530 She's an adult. 130 00:11:25,730 --> 00:11:27,270 He needn't tell me a thing. 131 00:11:27,930 --> 00:11:29,950 Norma, have you thought of going to the police? 132 00:11:31,570 --> 00:11:32,570 Of course. 133 00:11:33,670 --> 00:11:34,670 Yesterday. 134 00:11:36,050 --> 00:11:37,820 They just... poo -pooed me. 135 00:11:39,020 --> 00:11:42,120 He said, God knows how many people go missing every year. 136 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:46,300 Wives run off, husbands run off, children leave home. 137 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:48,100 So what can you do? 138 00:12:13,070 --> 00:12:13,789 Who's that? 139 00:12:13,790 --> 00:12:16,010 Who do you think it is? It's me, Emily. 140 00:12:16,790 --> 00:12:17,790 Emily? 141 00:12:19,750 --> 00:12:21,210 You can't be Emily. 142 00:12:21,470 --> 00:12:22,470 Why not, Buck? 143 00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:29,590 Because... Because what, Buck? 144 00:12:33,530 --> 00:12:34,970 Wife still away, then? 145 00:12:35,830 --> 00:12:38,310 Yes, so she finishes a new book. 146 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:45,000 She should get her stories on TV. 147 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:48,680 They say those kids' programmes make a fortune. 148 00:12:49,460 --> 00:12:50,460 Well, we live in hope. 149 00:12:54,420 --> 00:12:55,420 19. 150 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:57,220 Ah, hello, Jack. 151 00:12:57,820 --> 00:12:58,820 You, you? 152 00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:46,160 Could I have some? 153 00:13:47,420 --> 00:13:48,420 Some. 154 00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:50,500 Two or three? 155 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:54,940 It's my wife, you see. She had a lot of old clothes she didn't know what to do 156 00:13:54,940 --> 00:13:57,380 with, so she said, would I give them to your rummage, sir? 157 00:14:16,330 --> 00:14:18,490 It's inconceivable she'd have left all this behind. 158 00:14:19,410 --> 00:14:21,490 It's practically her whole wardrobe. 159 00:14:22,170 --> 00:14:23,170 My God. 160 00:14:23,690 --> 00:14:24,690 What? 161 00:14:25,110 --> 00:14:26,110 It's her spectacle. 162 00:14:28,630 --> 00:14:30,650 She'd never have gone away to write without these. 163 00:16:07,210 --> 00:16:08,490 Whatever's the matter, Bob? 164 00:16:09,010 --> 00:16:15,890 Uh, I, uh... Uh, 165 00:16:15,930 --> 00:16:18,270 um... 166 00:16:18,270 --> 00:16:24,490 Do 167 00:16:24,490 --> 00:16:29,050 you know what Norman's found out? 168 00:16:29,430 --> 00:16:34,050 He's insured Emily's life for 50 ,000 pounds. 169 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:42,840 It was a brilliant idea. 170 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:44,960 And it worked. Bob was as white as a sheep. 171 00:16:45,180 --> 00:16:46,800 I thought he was going to pass out. 172 00:16:47,020 --> 00:16:49,120 And I think he's having a nervous breakdown. 173 00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:50,720 That's the plan. 174 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:52,660 To make him have a breakdown. 175 00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:56,820 Norma, I'm sorry, but doesn't this prove the worst? 176 00:16:57,440 --> 00:16:58,980 Yes, I'm afraid you're right. 177 00:17:01,140 --> 00:17:05,579 I mean, if Emily had gone away to write, she would have come back, couldn't she? 178 00:17:06,260 --> 00:17:09,660 And if it's him in the village, he simply would have called out, wouldn't 179 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,380 He looked as if he'd seen a ghost. 180 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:16,119 Which, if you believe in ghosts, is all poor Emily can be. 181 00:17:18,099 --> 00:17:19,099 I'm sorry. 182 00:17:19,900 --> 00:17:21,700 It's our committee meeting, isn't it? 183 00:17:22,319 --> 00:17:24,740 Ruth, dear, would you take the chair? 184 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:27,520 Norma, are you all right? 185 00:17:29,460 --> 00:17:32,160 Would you be all right if your sister had been murdered? 186 00:17:32,940 --> 00:17:33,940 Murdered? 187 00:17:39,150 --> 00:17:40,150 you 188 00:19:21,740 --> 00:19:23,280 What the hell's going on? 189 00:19:29,390 --> 00:19:30,390 is Mr. Goff. 190 00:19:30,590 --> 00:19:31,890 He's a private detective. 191 00:19:32,370 --> 00:19:34,890 He's had you under surveillance for the past two weeks. 192 00:19:35,450 --> 00:19:37,170 And this lady is an actress. 193 00:19:37,830 --> 00:19:40,830 She impersonated Emily in the village and on the telephone. 194 00:19:41,990 --> 00:19:44,150 You thought you were going mad, didn't you, Bob? 195 00:19:44,550 --> 00:19:47,670 You had to come here and make sure Emily was really dead. 196 00:19:48,470 --> 00:19:50,610 There. Where you buried her. 197 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,230 Dead? Has that ground been dug before? 198 00:19:53,550 --> 00:19:55,650 Certainly has, sir. And lightly, too. 199 00:19:56,820 --> 00:20:00,560 Why on earth would I want to kill Emily? You insured her life for £50 ,000. 200 00:20:01,220 --> 00:20:02,220 Explain that. 201 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:03,780 You can't, can you? 202 00:20:04,380 --> 00:20:06,920 It was exactly the same story with your first wife. 203 00:20:07,140 --> 00:20:10,180 That was an accident. The coroner's murder... We won't need an inquest this 204 00:20:10,180 --> 00:20:12,360 time. You're under arrest for the murder of Emily Shand. 205 00:20:13,100 --> 00:20:14,740 A private detective can't make an arrest. 206 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:16,000 I'm arresting you. 207 00:20:16,700 --> 00:20:18,980 Any citizen is entitled to make an arrest. 208 00:20:32,300 --> 00:20:33,660 Citizens arrest is legal. 209 00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:36,780 And one is entitled to use reasonable force. 210 00:20:51,540 --> 00:20:53,280 It's going to be so dreadful. 211 00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:55,460 For all of you. 212 00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:57,860 You'll all have to come as witnesses. 213 00:20:58,660 --> 00:20:59,660 Make statement. 214 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,420 Oh, Norma, don't worry about us. 215 00:21:03,180 --> 00:21:05,060 You've been thinking of others for too long. 216 00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:07,640 Just look after yourself for a change. 217 00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:14,940 He's insane, isn't he? 218 00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:17,400 He's got to be insane. 219 00:21:17,700 --> 00:21:18,900 Of course he is, dear. 220 00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:21,400 I'm only sorry they won't hang you. 221 00:21:24,660 --> 00:21:25,980 Hello, what's this then? 222 00:21:42,730 --> 00:21:43,730 Poor Emily. 223 00:21:44,710 --> 00:21:46,250 She's been in the earth now. 224 00:21:47,110 --> 00:21:48,110 Six weeks. 225 00:21:48,370 --> 00:21:50,210 Try not to think about it, dear. 226 00:21:50,470 --> 00:21:51,990 No, I can't bear it. 227 00:21:52,610 --> 00:21:53,730 But take me home. 228 00:21:55,830 --> 00:21:56,830 No. 229 00:21:58,670 --> 00:21:59,770 It's not possible. 230 00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:16,900 What are you doing here? 231 00:22:18,660 --> 00:22:19,660 Quite a crowd. 232 00:22:19,740 --> 00:22:20,740 Hello, Norbert. 233 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:23,880 Bob! 234 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:27,480 I've done it, I've done it. Ten thousand words, it's all over. 235 00:22:27,860 --> 00:22:29,160 Monkey Dim in Timbuktu. 236 00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:30,400 Oh! 237 00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:31,960 Oh! 238 00:22:32,360 --> 00:22:33,360 Oh! 239 00:22:36,100 --> 00:22:37,100 Have you missed me? 240 00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:38,760 I tried not to. 241 00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:41,900 Hello. Have we met? 242 00:22:42,380 --> 00:22:44,360 I'm Emily, Norbert's sister. Where have you been? 243 00:22:44,970 --> 00:22:46,030 Oh, didn't you tell her? 244 00:22:46,690 --> 00:22:50,630 I've been staying in a lovely little seaside hotel where they bought me my 245 00:22:50,630 --> 00:22:52,010 in my room. Never bothered me. 246 00:22:52,710 --> 00:22:53,710 I finished the book. 247 00:22:54,190 --> 00:22:55,690 And you know, Bob, it's not bad. 248 00:22:56,010 --> 00:22:57,010 It's not all bad. 249 00:22:57,670 --> 00:22:59,570 It doesn't seem as if you'll need me anymore. 250 00:23:05,270 --> 00:23:07,830 Would you mind telling me why were you digging here? 251 00:23:10,010 --> 00:23:13,030 I've been reading up on the local history, Mr. Goff. 252 00:23:13,540 --> 00:23:16,480 Apparently, there was a Roman settlement somewhere near here. 253 00:23:17,140 --> 00:23:21,160 I brought myself a metal detector to pass the time while my wife was away, 254 00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:23,860 got a very strong bleep just here. 255 00:23:24,060 --> 00:23:25,060 Do you want a hammer, Mr. Griffin? 256 00:23:28,740 --> 00:23:31,040 I've been digging for buried treasure, Mr. Goff. 257 00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:37,760 We'll send you our account in due course. 258 00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:46,020 Well, you're going to need your friends now. 259 00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:48,580 I only hope they stick by you. 260 00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:56,880 Sibyl! 261 00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:03,120 We'll walk you home, Norma. 262 00:24:04,860 --> 00:24:06,540 You look like you could use a drink. 263 00:24:07,220 --> 00:24:08,220 Or several. 264 00:24:26,330 --> 00:24:31,310 Oh, Norma. You looked after Daddy for five years in order to get him to change 265 00:24:31,310 --> 00:24:35,250 his will. Leave everything to you and nothing to Emily. 266 00:24:35,570 --> 00:24:36,590 And it worked. 267 00:24:36,810 --> 00:24:41,150 But now it has all gone horribly wrong because we are going to sue you for 268 00:24:41,150 --> 00:24:45,210 slander, defamation of character, wrongful arrest and common assault. 269 00:24:45,470 --> 00:24:49,570 Emily, Emily, you can't. Oh, yes, we can. And you being a magistrate, the 270 00:24:49,570 --> 00:24:51,570 publicity is going to be very nasty indeed. 271 00:24:52,060 --> 00:24:55,740 Emily, my dear, you know I've always loved you. Now's your chance to show it. 272 00:24:58,140 --> 00:25:00,260 You planned this whole thing? 273 00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:01,800 Yes. 274 00:25:02,020 --> 00:25:03,220 But who's going to believe that? 275 00:25:03,740 --> 00:25:08,340 Of course, we might be prepared to suck out of court. My fair share, Norma. No 276 00:25:08,340 --> 00:25:09,340 more, no less. 277 00:25:09,660 --> 00:25:11,640 You know, it's only right and proper, dear. 278 00:25:21,390 --> 00:25:22,390 Ha ha ha!