1
00:00:35,310 --> 00:00:40,550
All my life, I have made it an absolute
rule never to pass a hitchhiker at any

2
00:00:40,550 --> 00:00:43,430
time of day or night without giving him
or her a lift.

3
00:00:44,290 --> 00:00:50,270
Then, on a pouring wet evening in
September just outside Oxford, I picked

4
00:00:50,270 --> 00:00:53,070
unhappy -looking young men who were
soaked to the skin.

5
00:00:54,070 --> 00:00:57,350
Both had hair down to their shoulders
and bushy beards.

6
00:00:58,150 --> 00:01:02,670
One of them said as they climbed into
the back, What a relief. Thank you so

7
00:01:02,670 --> 00:01:03,670
much.

8
00:01:04,580 --> 00:01:07,720
Suddenly, I felt the point of a knife
pressing into my neck.

9
00:01:08,700 --> 00:01:10,280
Hey, I said, steady on.

10
00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:13,400
Get out, the knife man said, and hurry.

11
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:15,200
I got out.

12
00:01:15,620 --> 00:01:18,600
They drove off and left me standing in
the rain.

13
00:01:20,060 --> 00:01:24,680
Since then, I have never given a lift to
any man with long hair or with a bushy

14
00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:25,680
beard.

15
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:29,220
The hitchhiker in this story has
neither.

16
00:01:34,890 --> 00:01:38,170
Paul Duveen had lived in Britain for 15
years.

17
00:01:40,110 --> 00:01:43,590
He was a writer, a successful writer.

18
00:01:45,630 --> 00:01:47,690
He liked living in Cambridge.

19
00:01:49,630 --> 00:01:53,030
And he loved driving real automobiles.

20
00:02:54,910 --> 00:02:57,810
You wouldn't be going to London by any
chance, would you, sir? Sure, I would

21
00:02:57,810 --> 00:02:58,749
in.

22
00:02:58,750 --> 00:03:01,270
Thank you, sir.

23
00:03:02,310 --> 00:03:03,310
Very kind.

24
00:03:03,790 --> 00:03:05,190
That's okay. You're a decent man.

25
00:03:05,490 --> 00:03:06,490
All set.

26
00:03:11,150 --> 00:03:12,290
Fine looking motorcar.

27
00:03:12,570 --> 00:03:13,570
Mm -hmm. Huh?

28
00:03:15,150 --> 00:03:16,150
Brand new, hmm?

29
00:03:16,750 --> 00:03:17,750
Yeah, pretty much.

30
00:03:18,410 --> 00:03:20,410
Feel like a ten -year -old kid with a
new toy, you know?

31
00:03:22,890 --> 00:03:23,890
Smells like a...

32
00:03:24,060 --> 00:03:25,060
Thoroughbred.

33
00:03:26,020 --> 00:03:27,440
What part of London are you headed for?

34
00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:32,380
Well, I'll be going out to London, out
the other side.

35
00:03:34,100 --> 00:03:35,100
Absinthe.

36
00:03:37,140 --> 00:03:38,420
The races, you know.

37
00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:42,160
Derby day, mister.

38
00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:45,040
Oh, the derby. Oh, I wish I was going
with you.

39
00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:46,980
Love to put a bet on the horses.

40
00:03:47,780 --> 00:03:51,960
Oh, I never go betting on horses. I
wouldn't even want to watch them run,

41
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,340
Why are you going to the Derby?

42
00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:56,080
Oh,

43
00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:59,300
you work at one of the betting machines,
do you?

44
00:03:59,860 --> 00:04:00,860
Betting machines?

45
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,760
Oh, no, that's worse again. No fun
there.

46
00:04:04,460 --> 00:04:05,520
Oh, I guess so.

47
00:04:06,060 --> 00:04:07,160
I asked the wrong question.

48
00:04:07,660 --> 00:04:09,660
Oh, you can ask any question you like.

49
00:04:10,860 --> 00:04:12,220
In your own domain.

50
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:14,980
But you don't have to reply, huh?

51
00:04:17,860 --> 00:04:21,339
Hey, wait a minute. Are you one of those
buskers, you know, entertaining the

52
00:04:21,339 --> 00:04:23,550
crowds? Soft shoe shuffle, stuff like
that, huh?

53
00:04:23,870 --> 00:04:28,390
Can you imagine me running around with a
mouth organ and banging my knees with a

54
00:04:28,390 --> 00:04:29,390
spoon?

55
00:04:30,210 --> 00:04:32,070
Well, frankly, I can, yeah.

56
00:04:34,250 --> 00:04:35,310
Excuse me, mister.

57
00:04:36,370 --> 00:04:37,970
Would you mind letting me out here?

58
00:04:38,330 --> 00:04:41,110
What? Listen, would you just draw in
here, please?

59
00:04:41,390 --> 00:04:42,390
What are you talking about?

60
00:04:43,590 --> 00:04:47,350
All right, great. Thank you. Thank you.
Come on, I'm sorry. No, no, no.

61
00:04:48,210 --> 00:04:49,210
Look,

62
00:04:49,590 --> 00:04:50,990
I couldn't be bothered.

63
00:04:51,610 --> 00:04:53,790
Riding along with a fella that thinks so
little of me.

64
00:04:54,010 --> 00:04:55,310
Oh, now, come on. Huh?

65
00:04:55,650 --> 00:04:57,090
Well, I don't think little of you.

66
00:04:57,370 --> 00:04:59,250
Oh. I said I was sorry.

67
00:04:59,690 --> 00:05:00,690
Yeah.

68
00:05:00,970 --> 00:05:05,330
Well... Well, look, I really am sorry.
Now, listen, it's none of my business. I

69
00:05:05,330 --> 00:05:06,590
won't ask any more questions, okay?

70
00:05:09,010 --> 00:05:12,110
Really, I remember when I used to
hitchhike, you know, I couldn't stand

71
00:05:12,110 --> 00:05:14,770
cross -examined. Who are you? What do
you do? Where are you from?

72
00:05:15,050 --> 00:05:17,850
I won't ask any more questions.

73
00:05:20,750 --> 00:05:24,250
You see, the trouble is I'm a writer,
and you know how writers cry, right?

74
00:05:24,790 --> 00:05:26,970
It's just I'm curious about people,
okay?

75
00:05:27,430 --> 00:05:29,150
Uh, a nosy parker?

76
00:05:29,470 --> 00:05:30,710
Isn't that what the British call it?

77
00:05:30,990 --> 00:05:32,050
Oh, I wouldn't know.

78
00:05:33,150 --> 00:05:34,150
I'm from Donegal.

79
00:05:35,190 --> 00:05:38,050
See, I'm no expert in the language of
Cromwell.

80
00:05:41,070 --> 00:05:43,470
Okay. No, excuse me.

81
00:05:48,830 --> 00:05:50,270
Did you say...

82
00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:51,800
A writer, are you?

83
00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:53,860
Well, yeah, I write books.

84
00:05:54,140 --> 00:05:58,280
Oh. Anyway, I apologize again. Just a
minute now.

85
00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:04,260
No, that's... I accept your apology.

86
00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:05,680
Oh, I'm glad.

87
00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:09,340
Oh, say, you write books?

88
00:06:10,260 --> 00:06:13,940
Yeah. You know, that's a skilled trade.

89
00:06:14,340 --> 00:06:17,000
Oh, thank you. Of course, mine's a
skilled trade, too.

90
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:19,160
You know...

91
00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:25,600
I always say that the whole secret of
life is to get to be very, very good.

92
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,260
That's something that's very, very hard
to do.

93
00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:33,600
Yeah. You've accomplished that, Huggins.

94
00:06:34,020 --> 00:06:35,020
Well,

95
00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:37,100
I'd say, uh -huh.

96
00:06:37,420 --> 00:06:38,680
Thank yourself, sir.

97
00:07:15,430 --> 00:07:16,910
70. Nice, huh? Yeah.

98
00:07:17,530 --> 00:07:21,270
It must have cost you a tidy bit, this
motor car, huh?

99
00:07:21,930 --> 00:07:22,930
It wasn't cheap.

100
00:07:23,870 --> 00:07:26,010
Driving a good car, my one indulgence, I
guess.

101
00:07:26,910 --> 00:07:30,030
Tell us now, I mean, what would she be
capable of?

102
00:07:30,650 --> 00:07:33,890
I mean, how many, you know, revolutions
per minute, flat out?

103
00:07:34,390 --> 00:07:35,390
This?

104
00:07:36,010 --> 00:07:37,070
129, to make his claim.

105
00:07:37,570 --> 00:07:38,570
129 miles an hour.

106
00:07:39,450 --> 00:07:41,450
Oh, you'd never believe that for a
young, would you?

107
00:07:41,990 --> 00:07:44,350
No, she will. They make a beautiful
machine, these people.

108
00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:45,720
Look at that.

109
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:51,880
What, 129 miles an hour? Ah, she'd never
do that, no, I know, no, no.

110
00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:54,680
I'd bet you anything you like, she
wouldn't.

111
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,180
Well, I bet she will.

112
00:07:56,420 --> 00:07:57,580
I know, no, not at all.

113
00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:02,200
All these car manufacturers, they're all
bloody liars, every one of them.

114
00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:08,240
And I'm surprised, you know, a smart
fella like you, you don't believe in all

115
00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:09,159
that jazz.

116
00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:10,380
Well, and this is, I do.

117
00:08:10,660 --> 00:08:11,339
Do you?

118
00:08:11,340 --> 00:08:13,220
Yeah. Yeah, well, prove it.

119
00:08:14,090 --> 00:08:15,090
How dare you?

120
00:08:15,170 --> 00:08:16,170
Who are you?

121
00:08:17,490 --> 00:08:18,490
Pat,

122
00:08:20,490 --> 00:08:21,349
you speak well.

123
00:08:21,350 --> 00:08:23,430
With pleasure, mister, with pleasure.

124
00:08:24,650 --> 00:08:27,070
Ah, that's beautiful, beautiful.

125
00:08:27,510 --> 00:08:28,209
What's that?

126
00:08:28,210 --> 00:08:29,210
Oh, beautiful.

127
00:08:29,570 --> 00:08:35,710
Beautiful. Oh, she's beautiful. Oh, the
tongue, she's...

128
00:08:35,710 --> 00:08:38,950
She's had the tongue.

129
00:08:39,210 --> 00:08:42,270
A hundred and fifteen books.

130
00:08:42,789 --> 00:08:44,470
Go on, go on, go on, keep going, keep
going, keep going.

131
00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:17,680
Oh,

132
00:09:17,940 --> 00:09:20,440
why do you have nobody to go? Why do you
have nobody?

133
00:09:20,820 --> 00:09:21,820
Oh,

134
00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:23,080
that's the word.

135
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:24,379
Oh, no.

136
00:09:24,380 --> 00:09:25,380
Yeah.

137
00:09:26,180 --> 00:09:27,180
Oh, no.

138
00:09:29,620 --> 00:09:30,620
Keep going.

139
00:09:31,620 --> 00:09:33,000
You can lose him.

140
00:09:33,300 --> 00:09:34,780
Of course you can lose him.

141
00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:52,880
Why did I ever listen to you?

142
00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:54,600
Why?

143
00:09:55,060 --> 00:09:57,460
Why, because you're a good gambler, sir.
That's why.

144
00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:58,800
You're a good gambler.

145
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,340
Didn't know a motorcycle cop could do
110.

146
00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:04,880
Oh, I could. Yes, I could indeed.

147
00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:10,040
You see, his motorbike is the same make
as your motorcar.

148
00:10:10,740 --> 00:10:12,280
Only it fizzles out at 112.

149
00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:15,680
If you'd have kept going, you'd have
been okay.

150
00:10:17,870 --> 00:10:18,870
Look at him.

151
00:10:18,930 --> 00:10:20,210
This is real trouble.

152
00:10:20,790 --> 00:10:22,270
Yeah. Ah, well, sure.

153
00:10:22,490 --> 00:10:24,290
It's only your first offense, isn't that
right?

154
00:10:26,930 --> 00:10:29,390
Like a real man looking devil.

155
00:10:30,370 --> 00:10:31,370
Want to watch out?

156
00:10:40,070 --> 00:10:41,070
Morning, sir.

157
00:10:41,230 --> 00:10:42,230
Morning.

158
00:10:43,710 --> 00:10:44,710
Okay, bye.

159
00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:47,210
What's your hurry?

160
00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:48,760
No hurry, officer.

161
00:10:49,740 --> 00:10:52,440
You mean you don't have a lady in the
back who's having a baby?

162
00:10:54,260 --> 00:10:55,940
No, obviously not.

163
00:10:56,460 --> 00:10:59,760
But your house is on fire and you're
dashing home to rescue your family, huh?

164
00:11:00,740 --> 00:11:01,740
No.

165
00:11:02,780 --> 00:11:06,140
And perhaps you're carrying urgent
medical supplies to a hospital, perhaps?

166
00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:07,520
No.

167
00:11:08,260 --> 00:11:09,260
I see.

168
00:11:10,860 --> 00:11:15,140
You, uh, hold a current British driving
license, sir? Oh, sure I do, officer,

169
00:11:15,180 --> 00:11:16,180
yes.

170
00:11:16,460 --> 00:11:18,060
Just as you sound American to me.

171
00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:21,880
I am.

172
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:26,640
Perhaps you can claim diplomatic
immunity.

173
00:11:29,820 --> 00:11:30,820
No, no.

174
00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:32,800
I wish I could.

175
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,420
You're not wasting my time, am I?

176
00:11:37,140 --> 00:11:41,200
You, uh... You are aware of the speed
limit in this country, of course?

177
00:11:43,140 --> 00:11:44,140
Seventy.

178
00:11:44,700 --> 00:11:45,700
Of course.

179
00:11:46,990 --> 00:11:49,670
Do you mind telling me what speed you
were doing just now?

180
00:11:53,490 --> 00:11:55,690
Well, I was a little over that, I know.

181
00:11:56,230 --> 00:11:57,750
That's pulling it politely, sir.

182
00:11:58,990 --> 00:12:01,570
I passed you at 112 miles an hour.

183
00:12:02,930 --> 00:12:05,250
One, one, two.

184
00:12:06,330 --> 00:12:08,730
And that's not a speed I care to drive
at, sir.

185
00:12:09,330 --> 00:12:11,190
Except in the course of duty, that is.

186
00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:14,470
Do you mind getting out your vehicle,
sir?

187
00:12:14,750 --> 00:12:15,750
What?

188
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:33,100
I must caution you, sir, that anything
you say may be taken down in... I'm

189
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:34,620
evidence against you. I know. Yeah.

190
00:12:37,860 --> 00:12:40,460
Could I see your driving license, sir?
Oh, sure, I'll bring it.

191
00:12:43,900 --> 00:12:48,960
Hey, mister, mister, you... Ooh, you
left it in the glove department. Here,

192
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:49,960
it, sir, quick.

193
00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:51,360
I don't know what I'm doing.

194
00:12:52,820 --> 00:12:53,820
I see.

195
00:12:59,020 --> 00:13:00,660
I do hate this little plastic envelope.

196
00:13:01,340 --> 00:13:02,340
Yeah.

197
00:13:05,780 --> 00:13:07,560
Well, well, well, two convictions
already, yeah?

198
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:09,720
And one of them's an SP -60.

199
00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:13,880
You make a habit of exceeding the speed
limit, sir? That was a couple of years

200
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,380
ago. Well, you're going to lose your
license for 12 months, you know that,

201
00:13:16,380 --> 00:13:18,340
you? That's up to the magistrate, isn't
it?

202
00:13:18,700 --> 00:13:20,500
That was two endorsements already, it's
automatic.

203
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:23,600
Not to mention this third offense took
place on a motorway.

204
00:13:24,340 --> 00:13:28,280
Now, we do take a very firm line about
except speeds on a motorway.

205
00:13:29,290 --> 00:13:33,490
Now, the last bloke I booked on this
same stretch of motorway got fined 20

206
00:13:33,490 --> 00:13:35,370
pounds for every mile he was over the
speed limit.

207
00:13:35,930 --> 00:13:36,930
No kidding?

208
00:13:37,470 --> 00:13:41,070
Now, you were 42 miles over the limit.
You can work that out for yourself.

209
00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:46,230
Well, it's well over 800 pounds, huh?

210
00:13:46,950 --> 00:13:47,950
Right.

211
00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:52,370
What are your full names, sir?

212
00:13:53,090 --> 00:13:54,790
Uh, Devine.

213
00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:57,970
Paul.

214
00:14:04,989 --> 00:14:05,989
George. Thank you, sir.

215
00:14:11,270 --> 00:14:12,270
Now you. Who are you?

216
00:14:12,450 --> 00:14:15,390
Well, uh, he's all right. I picked him
up. He's hitchhiking. He's got nothing

217
00:14:15,390 --> 00:14:16,530
do with this. I didn't ask you.

218
00:14:19,530 --> 00:14:21,390
Hey, what have I done?

219
00:14:22,290 --> 00:14:23,610
You're a witness, if nothing else.

220
00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:24,830
How'd you get?

221
00:14:27,150 --> 00:14:28,630
This is a hard man, mister.

222
00:14:28,990 --> 00:14:29,990
No, no.

223
00:14:30,550 --> 00:14:31,550
They're a hard man.

224
00:14:33,950 --> 00:14:34,950
Look,

225
00:14:35,370 --> 00:14:37,490
I don't see what on the... I do my job,
sir.

226
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:41,390
Why don't you get back in your vehicle,
sir? Recover your breath, as it were.

227
00:14:41,510 --> 00:14:42,510
This won't take a minute.

228
00:14:45,210 --> 00:14:46,189
All right.

229
00:14:46,190 --> 00:14:47,350
Let's have your full name, huh?

230
00:14:47,690 --> 00:14:50,070
Yeah, Michael O 'Brien Vesh.

231
00:14:51,650 --> 00:14:52,650
Address?

232
00:14:53,430 --> 00:14:55,210
14 Gladstone Road, Washington.

233
00:14:55,730 --> 00:14:56,730
Occupation?

234
00:14:57,790 --> 00:14:58,790
Unemployed.

235
00:15:02,859 --> 00:15:03,859
Hodder. Hodperrier.

236
00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:07,080
Don't get funny with me.

237
00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:09,620
I'm not getting funny with you. That's
the truth.

238
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:10,960
I'm on the welfare.

239
00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:13,380
You've only got to ask. Oh, I shall.

240
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:15,020
I'm going to check you out.

241
00:15:15,420 --> 00:15:16,840
Should I? Look, I've done nothing.

242
00:15:17,060 --> 00:15:18,060
What have I done?

243
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:20,580
I just don't like your face, that's all.

244
00:15:20,860 --> 00:15:24,880
We must have a record of it on file
somewhere. I don't like your attitude.

245
00:15:26,620 --> 00:15:27,620
Most insulting.

246
00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:31,860
Here, may I just get a lift from this
nice kind gentleman?

247
00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:34,560
Excuse me, mister. Are you... All right,
enough said.

248
00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:38,540
Listen, don't you lay a hand on me.
Look, don't you lay a hand on me. In you

249
00:15:38,540 --> 00:15:43,260
get. You saw that, didn't you? Now, that
constitutes an assault.

250
00:15:43,900 --> 00:15:45,820
So I'm reporting you. Why?

251
00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:49,360
I am going to report you.

252
00:15:50,180 --> 00:15:51,460
Ah, right.

253
00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:55,640
And this gentleman is my witness.

254
00:15:55,860 --> 00:15:57,820
Wrong. You are my witness.

255
00:15:58,430 --> 00:15:59,910
To a very serious offence.

256
00:16:01,630 --> 00:16:02,870
I'll see you both in court.

257
00:16:03,250 --> 00:16:04,250
Good morning.

258
00:16:06,610 --> 00:16:09,890
Well, there he goes now.

259
00:16:10,750 --> 00:16:15,230
Mean as a knacker's yard. A regular... A
regular peacock.

260
00:16:15,930 --> 00:16:18,350
800 pounds, not suspended licence for a
year.

261
00:16:18,830 --> 00:16:20,210
Thought this was going to be a good day.

262
00:16:21,370 --> 00:16:23,310
You were two endorsements already.

263
00:16:23,670 --> 00:16:25,390
Oh, that's bad. No, that's bad.

264
00:16:25,650 --> 00:16:26,650
What am I to like?

265
00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:29,020
Did I really live in the glock
compartment?

266
00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:30,520
Did I?

267
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:31,880
I think you must have.

268
00:16:32,740 --> 00:16:34,100
I think you must have.

269
00:16:35,980 --> 00:16:39,600
Tell us, what are you thinking of doing?

270
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:45,420
I'm thinking of getting off this cop
-infested motorway and finding us a

271
00:16:45,420 --> 00:16:46,420
to dry off.

272
00:16:48,260 --> 00:16:51,880
Well, better luck next time, old fella.

273
00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:54,920
You can take your wet coat off.

274
00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:56,200
No, no, that's all right.

275
00:16:58,670 --> 00:17:03,930
You know, I told him a bit of a lie, Don
Policeman.

276
00:17:04,910 --> 00:17:07,970
Because I'm not unemployed. I'm going to
be very busy this afternoon.

277
00:17:08,310 --> 00:17:09,369
And tomorrow, too.

278
00:17:10,190 --> 00:17:11,630
Oh, yeah, that's right.

279
00:17:12,130 --> 00:17:13,190
At the Derby.

280
00:17:14,030 --> 00:17:18,750
You know, you write a fellow... You're
such a pack of nosy pockers. Do you know

281
00:17:18,750 --> 00:17:19,750
that?

282
00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:26,810
You know, I know you'll never be
satisfied till I come out with what I

283
00:17:27,250 --> 00:17:28,250
That's all.

284
00:17:28,580 --> 00:17:30,120
Not really. It's up to you.

285
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:32,800
Do I?

286
00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:34,820
You just itching to know?

287
00:17:35,820 --> 00:17:37,820
No. I can tell by the look on your face.

288
00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:41,420
Not really. Look, drink up and let's get
out of here. Come on. We're going. You

289
00:17:41,420 --> 00:17:43,600
know, you're in a desperate hurry.

290
00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:47,060
It doesn't pay to hurry, you know. No,
it doesn't. That's why I'm going to

291
00:17:47,060 --> 00:17:50,800
very, very slowly. Now, come on. Come
on. Hold on. Hold hard now. Hold hard.

292
00:17:57,900 --> 00:17:59,000
You're not drunk, are you?

293
00:17:59,700 --> 00:18:00,820
I'm too rich, guys.

294
00:18:02,860 --> 00:18:03,860
Irish?

295
00:18:04,420 --> 00:18:11,400
English measures, but... Oh, boy.

296
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:14,680
The Lord only knows what my wife's going
to say.

297
00:18:15,140 --> 00:18:16,140
That was quick.

298
00:18:17,620 --> 00:18:20,200
You noticed that, did you? Sure I did.
That's fascinating.

299
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,280
I never saw anybody roll a cigarette
that fast.

300
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:26,600
Fingers.

301
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,060
Yeah, I know the joke.

302
00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:31,680
Fish fingers.

303
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:34,740
Look, you see them fingers there?

304
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:36,600
Huh?

305
00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:38,700
You wouldn't think you'd look at them.

306
00:18:38,940 --> 00:18:42,200
But they're the quickest, slickest
fingers you've ever seen in your life,

307
00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:44,240
Are you a concert pianist?

308
00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:47,100
My job's a hundred times more difficult
than piano playing.

309
00:18:47,340 --> 00:18:48,720
Any fool can learn the piano.

310
00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:52,580
But I can tell you, not one in ten
million can learn to do what I do.

311
00:18:53,020 --> 00:18:54,140
I'm telling you, boy.

312
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:56,740
Yeah, you've been telling me. I heard
you.

313
00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:58,160
I am telling you, boy.

314
00:18:59,740 --> 00:19:01,240
I got it.

315
00:19:02,340 --> 00:19:04,940
You're a kind of amateur magician?

316
00:19:09,860 --> 00:19:11,100
You're a card player, aren't you?

317
00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:12,580
You're card sharp, huh?

318
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,420
Well, now you're insulting me.

319
00:19:14,860 --> 00:19:16,120
All right, then I give up.

320
00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:23,980
Ever seen this before?

321
00:19:25,740 --> 00:19:30,200
Looks the same as mine. Where'd you get
that? I took it off the top of your

322
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:31,199
truck.

323
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:34,780
You took that off me while I was
driving?

324
00:19:36,140 --> 00:19:37,140
Why wouldn't I?

325
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:42,940
You undid the buckle and you slid it
through all the loops while we were

326
00:19:42,940 --> 00:19:43,940
driving.

327
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:46,040
Well,

328
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:48,400
it seems believing.

329
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:54,400
What about the...

330
00:19:56,110 --> 00:19:57,110
What about it?

331
00:19:57,670 --> 00:19:59,870
Is anyone around here missing a
shoelace, I wonder?

332
00:20:05,150 --> 00:20:08,770
Do you mind that time when I missed me
step coming out of the pub, like?

333
00:20:11,150 --> 00:20:12,150
Yeah, I remember.

334
00:20:12,790 --> 00:20:13,790
I didn't see anything.

335
00:20:14,210 --> 00:20:17,550
Ah, well, no, I know you didn't. Well,
you weren't, uh, you weren't meant to.

336
00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:19,370
You shot fingers, you know.

337
00:20:19,730 --> 00:20:20,890
Fingers, thank you, my fingers.

338
00:20:23,190 --> 00:20:24,950
What's the time, man? What's the time?

339
00:20:25,870 --> 00:20:28,970
The clock's right there in front of me.
Ah, no, I hate them car clocks. No, I

340
00:20:28,970 --> 00:20:33,970
like to get the right time, you know. I
have a decent gold watch, the like of

341
00:20:33,970 --> 00:20:35,890
this. No, it's not a beauty, huh?

342
00:20:36,130 --> 00:20:37,130
It's not a beauty.

343
00:20:38,270 --> 00:20:41,210
Do you know what? You could flog that
anywhere, couldn't you? Fish!

344
00:20:42,390 --> 00:20:43,390
Put the watch down.

345
00:20:51,870 --> 00:20:54,930
What are you stopping for? What else
have you got of mine? A joke's a joke.

346
00:20:54,930 --> 00:20:55,930
on. What else have you got?

347
00:20:56,090 --> 00:21:00,190
Look, I'm only answering your question,
mister. You asked me what I did for a

348
00:21:00,190 --> 00:21:03,390
living, and here I am. I'm showing you.
What else have you got of mine?

349
00:21:05,670 --> 00:21:06,670
Are you a policeman?

350
00:21:07,530 --> 00:21:08,530
I'm not a policeman.

351
00:21:08,750 --> 00:21:10,090
But if you don't show me, what...

352
00:21:10,090 --> 00:21:16,550
Special

353
00:21:16,550 --> 00:21:20,630
delivery.

354
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:30,480
Okay, now get out.

355
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:32,540
Out? Me?

356
00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:33,840
Out. Out?

357
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:35,680
Yes.

358
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:40,360
Out. I don't give rise to pickpockets.
If you want to know, I'm a fingersmith.

359
00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:45,900
A what? A professional fingersmith. You
know, like a goldsmith or a silversmith.

360
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:49,700
And I can tell you, I follow my own
professional code of honor.

361
00:21:50,620 --> 00:21:54,280
I always give back anything that's of no
use to me.

362
00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:57,520
Oh, you mean you're Robin Hood working
the racetrack?

363
00:21:57,930 --> 00:22:00,790
Look, I know what you must be feeling,
mister.

364
00:22:01,450 --> 00:22:04,370
Because it wasn't a very good morning
for you, was it? Well, it's still out.

365
00:22:04,430 --> 00:22:09,330
Come on, fingers. I mean, what with me
making you go over the speed limit and

366
00:22:09,330 --> 00:22:10,330
the police and all.

367
00:22:11,530 --> 00:22:14,310
And now you're disapproving of my
vocation.

368
00:22:14,930 --> 00:22:16,650
Exactly. Now, get out.

369
00:22:17,290 --> 00:22:19,390
Out. Out, I said.

370
00:22:19,990 --> 00:22:22,990
Very funny.

371
00:22:23,270 --> 00:22:24,970
I couldn't resist.

372
00:22:25,210 --> 00:22:26,210
Out.

373
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:35,320
You know, you're... Would you give me my
hat, please?

374
00:22:37,580 --> 00:22:38,580
Here.

375
00:22:39,620 --> 00:22:41,360
You know, you're a hard man, mister.

376
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,280
You're worse than Don, policeman.

377
00:22:43,740 --> 00:22:45,240
Yeah, and he's checking on you right
now.

378
00:22:45,500 --> 00:22:48,200
Oh, no, no, no. Nobody's checking on me,
mister.

379
00:22:48,460 --> 00:22:50,140
He's got your name and address, Fish.

380
00:22:50,860 --> 00:22:53,180
He wrote it all down in his little black
book.

381
00:22:53,420 --> 00:22:55,260
All right, well, wait till you see now.
What about this, sir?

382
00:22:56,370 --> 00:23:00,530
Michael O 'Brien, Fish, 14 Gladstone
Road, Royston, unemployed.

383
00:23:00,830 --> 00:23:03,230
That was my particulars. Now, here's
your particulars, you see.

384
00:23:03,570 --> 00:23:05,990
When cautioned, Mr. Duveen replied.

385
00:23:07,790 --> 00:23:11,010
You took that from a cop?

386
00:23:11,750 --> 00:23:12,750
Oh, it was easy.

387
00:23:12,910 --> 00:23:13,910
It was dead easy.

388
00:23:14,690 --> 00:23:15,690
Good Lord.

389
00:23:17,590 --> 00:23:21,790
But he'll remember names, registration
numbers. Ah, no, no, he won't remember

390
00:23:21,790 --> 00:23:24,230
because he wrote it down. You see, he'll
not remember because...

391
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:25,800
He didn't think he'd have to.

392
00:23:27,060 --> 00:23:28,060
How do you see?

393
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:29,440
I don't know.

394
00:23:30,020 --> 00:23:31,020
Ah, what I do.

395
00:23:31,420 --> 00:23:34,180
Because I've been booked before, do you
see? And I always took the wee book.

396
00:23:35,060 --> 00:23:36,320
Never heard a word after.

397
00:23:38,100 --> 00:23:42,820
Well, I tell you what. I think the two
of us should get out here. And we'll

398
00:23:42,820 --> 00:23:45,160
build a wee bonfire and burn all them
things.

399
00:23:45,820 --> 00:23:49,160
And then after, like, if you insist,
I'll walk.

400
00:23:49,820 --> 00:23:53,160
Oh, no, no. No, no, no. If you want,
I'll walk. I don't mind.

401
00:23:54,830 --> 00:23:56,050
No, right, right.

402
00:23:57,290 --> 00:23:58,290
Bonfire.

403
00:24:01,090 --> 00:24:02,090
Brilliant fish.

404
00:24:02,410 --> 00:24:06,930
Brilliant. Yeah, how, you know, it's
nice to be appreciated.

405
00:24:08,130 --> 00:24:10,450
All right. Ha -ha.

406
00:24:11,110 --> 00:24:12,089
Hey, fish.

407
00:24:12,090 --> 00:24:15,690
Yeah. What if it doesn't burn? I mean,
it's starting to rain again. Yes. If you

408
00:24:15,690 --> 00:24:21,170
could get just a few dry... Dry cleats.
Dry... Dry cleats. Here.

409
00:24:54,630 --> 00:24:56,270
He couldn't resist it.