1 00:00:26,669 --> 00:00:33,010 In 1929, when I was 13, I was sent to a famous English boarding school for boys. 2 00:00:34,090 --> 00:00:37,610 In those days, life was pretty brutal at schools like these. 3 00:00:38,590 --> 00:00:43,870 And you won't believe this, but even now, 50 years later, if I sit for too 4 00:00:43,870 --> 00:00:48,850 on a hard chair, I begin to feel my heart beating along the old wounds on my 5 00:00:48,850 --> 00:00:50,310 bottom where I was flogged. 6 00:00:51,810 --> 00:00:54,570 Do you want six with the dressing gown on or four with it off? 7 00:00:55,130 --> 00:00:58,990 the prefect used to say to us down there in the changing room late at night. 8 00:01:00,690 --> 00:01:03,530 This is a story about those school days of mine. 9 00:01:03,890 --> 00:01:06,550 And for once, I have not made anything up. 10 00:01:07,430 --> 00:01:08,430 It's all true. 11 00:01:10,910 --> 00:01:11,390 Good 12 00:01:11,390 --> 00:01:19,270 morning, 13 00:01:19,310 --> 00:01:19,929 Mr. President. 14 00:01:19,930 --> 00:01:20,930 Thank you. 15 00:01:21,570 --> 00:01:24,010 Five days a week for 36 years. 16 00:01:24,570 --> 00:01:28,030 William Perkins had been taking the 812 train to the city. 17 00:01:28,770 --> 00:01:30,970 He liked the process of commuting. 18 00:01:31,530 --> 00:01:36,110 There is a regularity about it that is agreeable and comforting to a person of 19 00:01:36,110 --> 00:01:37,110 habit. 20 00:01:38,910 --> 00:01:44,530 And in addition, it served as a sort of slipway, launching him gently but firmly 21 00:01:44,530 --> 00:01:47,190 into the waters of his daily business routine. 22 00:01:52,430 --> 00:01:57,570 One of his special little pleasures was to have his own particular seat in the 23 00:01:57,570 --> 00:02:02,050 same compartment with the same good solid people sitting in their right 24 00:02:02,050 --> 00:02:08,270 with the right umbrellas and hats and ties and newspapers until one morning 25 00:02:08,270 --> 00:02:11,750 something rather disturbing happened. 26 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:43,540 Check second right, please. 27 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:54,040 Mind the cigar. 28 00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:57,840 This is a smoker. 29 00:03:58,540 --> 00:03:59,700 You can do as you please. 30 00:04:00,620 --> 00:04:02,040 I just thought I'd ask. 31 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:03,840 Matter of form, really. 32 00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:05,940 Form? 33 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:08,660 Or seeing I am the new boy. 34 00:04:13,300 --> 00:04:14,300 Pretty. 35 00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:16,600 Quite a popsy, don't you think? 36 00:04:18,779 --> 00:04:21,480 I find it rather early in the morning conversation, don't you? 37 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:24,160 Good God. 38 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:27,600 You remind me of my old company commander in the Coast Stream Guard. 39 00:04:28,220 --> 00:04:32,460 If a new subaltern so much as dared to say good morning to him, he'd bark back 40 00:04:32,460 --> 00:04:34,340 with seven in rapid fire. 41 00:04:34,860 --> 00:04:36,980 Good morning, good morning, good morning, good morning, good morning, 42 00:04:36,980 --> 00:04:37,980 morning, good morning. 43 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:39,780 That's twice for a week. 44 00:04:42,180 --> 00:04:43,180 Very funny. 45 00:04:44,820 --> 00:04:45,820 Good chapter. 46 00:04:46,500 --> 00:04:47,620 Work presents at the ground. 47 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:49,560 We all saved her. 48 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:52,140 What's the matter with you? 49 00:04:52,860 --> 00:04:54,880 Letting a perfect stranger rattle? 50 00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:57,360 Ruined my day. 51 00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:00,800 Better not prove to be a regular. 52 00:05:11,050 --> 00:05:12,050 Morning. Morning. 53 00:05:15,070 --> 00:05:16,290 If he is here again. 54 00:05:17,190 --> 00:05:18,190 Afraid so. 55 00:05:18,510 --> 00:05:19,550 Third day running. 56 00:05:20,010 --> 00:05:21,330 Any idea who he is? 57 00:05:21,830 --> 00:05:22,830 Not the foggiest. 58 00:05:27,890 --> 00:05:28,890 Oh, 59 00:05:29,850 --> 00:05:30,850 my God. 60 00:05:32,230 --> 00:05:35,070 Carly. Not after all these years. 61 00:05:36,450 --> 00:05:39,350 Not galloping Foxley. 62 00:05:40,490 --> 00:05:41,990 You beat me to it this morning. 63 00:05:43,730 --> 00:05:45,130 You're sitting in my place. 64 00:05:46,630 --> 00:05:47,630 No. 65 00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:51,430 These last mornings, you have been sitting in mine. 66 00:05:51,690 --> 00:05:53,170 Oh, you should have told me. 67 00:05:53,450 --> 00:05:54,450 I'd have swapped. 68 00:05:55,270 --> 00:05:56,670 I said I was a new boy. 69 00:05:57,950 --> 00:05:58,950 No. 70 00:05:59,210 --> 00:06:02,610 I was... I was a new boy. 71 00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:21,400 Glad we motored down, were you? 72 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:23,240 Yes. 73 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:26,080 You soon settle in? 74 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,220 Yes. 75 00:06:28,900 --> 00:06:31,580 Best days of your life are just beginning. You see. 76 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:33,960 Jolly fine school. 77 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:42,600 Now... I say... 78 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:47,500 Don't they teach you better manners than that? 79 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:50,100 It seems to me... 80 00:06:50,350 --> 00:06:51,430 An apology is in order. 81 00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:53,970 I'm so sorry. 82 00:06:55,770 --> 00:06:57,430 I don't like your tone, sir. 83 00:06:58,390 --> 00:07:02,750 Really? You strike me as being impudent and ill -mannered. 84 00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:06,030 I can only hope that you're the exception here. 85 00:07:06,750 --> 00:07:09,550 I shouldn't wish any son of mine to pick up such habits. 86 00:07:13,090 --> 00:07:15,070 Ah, Mr. Perkins. 87 00:07:15,830 --> 00:07:18,670 I see you've already met our head of house, Bruce Fox said. 88 00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:20,330 Very fine sportsman. 89 00:07:20,610 --> 00:07:22,170 All -rounder. Football, cricket. 90 00:07:22,590 --> 00:07:25,010 His manners leave something to be desired. 91 00:07:25,470 --> 00:07:26,470 Really? 92 00:07:27,190 --> 00:07:29,630 I dare say it's the excitement of being back, Abrams. 93 00:07:29,990 --> 00:07:30,990 Exactly, sir. 94 00:07:31,090 --> 00:07:33,830 Why don't you go and sort out the junior duty roster? 95 00:07:34,110 --> 00:07:35,370 Take your pick of the new chap. 96 00:07:35,610 --> 00:07:36,610 With pleasure, sir. 97 00:07:44,650 --> 00:07:48,130 Well, Perkins, I expect you feel very much the new boy. 98 00:07:48,930 --> 00:07:50,890 Don't worry. You'll soon make your mark. 99 00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:53,470 Just what I've been telling him. 100 00:07:54,070 --> 00:07:55,590 Report to nature. There's a good chap. 101 00:07:56,250 --> 00:07:57,209 Chin up. 102 00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:58,210 Tickety -boo. 103 00:08:08,510 --> 00:08:09,510 Bye, Dad. 104 00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:11,190 Bye, William. 105 00:08:11,410 --> 00:08:12,570 Now keep the pecker up. 106 00:08:14,010 --> 00:08:15,010 Right soon. 107 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:23,000 Naturally, he feels he's walking into the lion's den. All the new men do. 108 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:24,620 But it's too fast, though. 109 00:08:25,420 --> 00:08:27,620 You, boy, get that hat off. 110 00:08:33,799 --> 00:08:34,799 Joaquin? 111 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:37,520 Yes? 112 00:08:43,020 --> 00:08:44,200 You're mine, boy. 113 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:45,480 Am I? 114 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:48,680 My personal servant, Valet. 115 00:08:51,670 --> 00:08:53,270 Bedmaker. Dog's body. 116 00:08:54,570 --> 00:08:55,570 Washer -upper. 117 00:08:57,590 --> 00:08:59,090 Boot -cleaner. 118 00:08:59,890 --> 00:09:01,710 You're my slave, Perkins. 119 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,080 Right, Perkins. 120 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:24,760 Recite your duties. 121 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:32,100 When the bell rings, I get up, dust the desk, clean his shoes, 122 00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:38,480 put out his clothes, polish the fender, clean the grate. 123 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:45,560 Morning, Foxley. 124 00:09:46,540 --> 00:09:48,260 What do you think you're doing? 125 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:49,840 Cleaning the grate. 126 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:51,540 You're behind schedule. 127 00:09:52,660 --> 00:09:55,400 No. Shut up, slave. 128 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:56,880 I'm breathing. 129 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:05,620 You'd better get down to the bogs. 130 00:10:06,300 --> 00:10:08,660 Bogs? The lavatories. 131 00:10:10,020 --> 00:10:13,040 The water closets. The latrines. 132 00:10:14,020 --> 00:10:16,060 Les petits coins. 133 00:10:18,350 --> 00:10:20,110 The places of easement, boy. 134 00:10:20,670 --> 00:10:22,030 Do I clean them? 135 00:10:22,490 --> 00:10:23,490 If necessary. 136 00:10:25,090 --> 00:10:26,830 Then you warm the seat for me. 137 00:10:28,190 --> 00:10:33,050 And if it's not warm enough, then I warm yours. 138 00:10:48,490 --> 00:10:49,490 Something wrong? 139 00:10:50,310 --> 00:10:51,310 You're staring. 140 00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:53,610 I'm sorry. 141 00:10:54,210 --> 00:10:57,050 Do you imagine we've met before or something? 142 00:10:58,230 --> 00:10:59,230 I'm sorry. 143 00:11:03,470 --> 00:11:05,510 I know very well we've met before. 144 00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:07,750 Oh, yes. 145 00:11:08,590 --> 00:11:10,330 Oh, yes, Foxley. 146 00:11:11,330 --> 00:11:14,890 I could expose you for the perfect swine you were. 147 00:11:16,430 --> 00:11:18,470 You don't recognise me, do you, eh? 148 00:11:18,930 --> 00:11:21,470 A moustache, much of years. 149 00:11:22,230 --> 00:11:24,230 But I recognise you, all right. 150 00:11:24,910 --> 00:11:26,310 Oh, yes. 151 00:11:26,510 --> 00:11:27,510 No. 152 00:11:28,550 --> 00:11:30,010 I've decided, Perkins. 153 00:11:31,490 --> 00:11:33,230 It's going to be with the dressing gown. 154 00:11:34,470 --> 00:11:35,470 Off. 155 00:11:36,130 --> 00:11:37,130 Off! 156 00:11:43,750 --> 00:11:44,970 Hurry up, come on! 157 00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:48,790 Now, touch your toes. 158 00:11:49,690 --> 00:11:51,530 Tighter, much tighter than that. 159 00:11:55,790 --> 00:11:58,830 Now, what are you? 160 00:11:59,790 --> 00:12:02,450 I'm a lazy little boy. 161 00:12:04,370 --> 00:12:06,110 Who can't light a fire? 162 00:12:08,410 --> 00:12:11,710 Who can't polish a button without smudging the uniform? 163 00:12:12,950 --> 00:12:14,990 What else are you? 164 00:12:15,550 --> 00:12:16,550 Don't know. 165 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:26,400 I don't like your tone, sir. 166 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,920 You strike me as impudent and ill -mannered. 167 00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:34,220 And your father's very particular about manners, isn't he? 168 00:12:36,100 --> 00:12:37,100 Well? 169 00:12:39,820 --> 00:12:40,820 Well? 170 00:12:41,940 --> 00:12:45,720 It's a question requiring the answer. Yes, boy, yes. 171 00:12:46,540 --> 00:12:47,540 Yes. 172 00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:52,240 Stay still. 173 00:12:56,719 --> 00:12:58,460 Blubber boy, and you get an extra stroke. 174 00:13:04,220 --> 00:13:06,760 This is why I'm known as Galloping Foxley. 175 00:13:08,820 --> 00:13:11,960 It's because I always beat at the gallop. 176 00:14:09,930 --> 00:14:11,410 Who's blubbed with Foxley because of the runner? 177 00:14:12,470 --> 00:14:14,030 He goes down the basin passage. 178 00:14:14,370 --> 00:14:16,210 It's time for you to feel the pain, you see. 179 00:14:16,630 --> 00:14:18,310 At first, you don't feel anything. 180 00:14:18,550 --> 00:14:23,450 Just a sort of blunt thump. A sort of numbing. But after a few seconds, about 181 00:14:23,450 --> 00:14:28,050 ten, that's the time it takes galloping Foxley to go down the basin passage. 182 00:14:28,550 --> 00:14:30,450 Then it starts like a red -hot poker. 183 00:14:30,810 --> 00:14:34,130 By which time, he's galloping back. Whoosh -whack! Whoosh -whack! 184 00:14:34,550 --> 00:14:35,730 Poor old Perkins. 185 00:14:41,060 --> 00:14:42,860 Perkins. Perkins. 186 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:45,980 What? Show us the damage. Go on. 187 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:49,060 No. Come on. We're on your side. 188 00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:52,600 No. Please. 189 00:14:53,420 --> 00:14:54,420 Come on. 190 00:14:54,660 --> 00:14:57,180 We're ever so sorry. Let's see the marks. 191 00:14:57,540 --> 00:14:59,100 Oh. What? 192 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:07,920 They're far apart. 193 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:10,700 Not up to Foxy's usual standard. 194 00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:12,240 Too close. 195 00:15:12,340 --> 00:15:13,520 Beauty's actually touching. 196 00:15:14,420 --> 00:15:17,260 That low one's a rotten shot, but it bled. 197 00:15:17,740 --> 00:15:20,520 Golly, Foxy's really got it in for you, Perkins. 198 00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:38,360 What's the idea? 199 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,040 Back to bed, all of you. 200 00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:49,980 So, Perkins showing off, is he? 201 00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:52,640 Is that it? 202 00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:59,520 Another peep out of any of you, and you'll get what Perkins got. 203 00:16:01,300 --> 00:16:02,360 All coming back. 204 00:16:03,140 --> 00:16:04,140 Small eyes. 205 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:06,200 Corrugated forehead. 206 00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:08,090 The wavy, oily hair. 207 00:16:10,230 --> 00:16:11,270 The glove. 208 00:16:12,630 --> 00:16:13,990 The white glove. 209 00:16:32,710 --> 00:16:33,710 Catch! 210 00:16:35,190 --> 00:16:36,190 Butterfingers. 211 00:16:44,660 --> 00:16:46,620 Better. You're improving, Perkins. 212 00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:48,380 Thank you, Foxley. 213 00:16:48,820 --> 00:16:50,100 It took me all day. 214 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,660 At first glance, that is. 215 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:56,660 But we'll see what my patent dust detector can do, shall we? 216 00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:42,900 So, you're a lazy little bounder after all, aren't you? 217 00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:44,940 I thought I just... You thought? 218 00:17:47,260 --> 00:17:49,980 Well, we'll meet later on, won't we? 219 00:17:51,700 --> 00:17:53,660 After prayers in the changing room. 220 00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:59,120 It was under the chair. As my slave, you clean my study. 221 00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:01,700 And clean means clean. 222 00:18:02,940 --> 00:18:04,080 Yes, Foxley. 223 00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:07,800 And you've forgotten the wild irises for my desk. 224 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:09,160 But there wasn't time. 225 00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:11,040 There is now. 226 00:18:12,060 --> 00:18:13,920 But Clemson... You'll have to hurry. 227 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:17,520 The pond's only two and a half miles across the fields. 228 00:18:55,850 --> 00:18:57,090 A drowned rat. 229 00:18:58,510 --> 00:18:59,690 Don't come in. 230 00:19:04,390 --> 00:19:05,390 Only four. 231 00:19:09,110 --> 00:19:11,230 Hopeless. I couldn't reach. 232 00:19:11,930 --> 00:19:13,350 That's another stroke. 233 00:19:16,930 --> 00:19:18,710 Go on, get your coat off. 234 00:19:18,970 --> 00:19:20,730 We need you to make more toast. 235 00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:25,260 What's your slave like, Julian? 236 00:19:26,100 --> 00:19:27,100 Shaping up. 237 00:19:27,140 --> 00:19:28,460 I picked a dud in Perkins. 238 00:19:29,580 --> 00:19:32,720 Ible, insolent, incompetent. 239 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,280 Have to beat him almost daily. 240 00:19:35,220 --> 00:19:37,580 I'm developing muscles where I didn't even know I had them. 241 00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:51,740 You expect me to eat 242 00:19:51,740 --> 00:19:52,740 this? 243 00:19:53,740 --> 00:19:55,180 It's hardly done, this fight. 244 00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:57,540 You don't like it burnt. 245 00:20:04,340 --> 00:20:05,340 Useless. 246 00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:12,260 You've earned yourself another strike, Perkins. 247 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:19,680 And to think I used to write home and say I was all right. 248 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:23,300 Except I got a cold because I was caught in the rain. 249 00:20:24,260 --> 00:20:26,720 Never a word about how he beat me. 250 00:20:28,740 --> 00:20:30,260 You beat me. 251 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:32,400 You! 252 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:36,960 Seven minutes to Cannon Street. 253 00:20:38,340 --> 00:20:40,880 Seven minutes to expose you. 254 00:20:42,460 --> 00:20:43,460 Foxley. 255 00:20:44,020 --> 00:20:46,160 It's... It's a thought. 256 00:20:47,420 --> 00:20:48,420 Yes. 257 00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:50,680 Why not? 258 00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:53,040 Why not? 259 00:20:56,860 --> 00:21:02,300 I wonder if I might have your attention just for a few moments. 260 00:21:03,420 --> 00:21:09,460 I know it's not customary for us to speak very much on this daily journey, 261 00:21:09,540 --> 00:21:16,460 and I hope you'll forgive me, but this gentleman's presence has 262 00:21:16,460 --> 00:21:18,000 prompted some old memories. 263 00:21:18,780 --> 00:21:19,900 of my school days. 264 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:22,680 Yes, 265 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:26,700 it was a long time ago now, of course, but I remember. 266 00:21:27,660 --> 00:21:29,160 Yes, I remember very well. 267 00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:32,100 You see, I suffered. 268 00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:36,720 I suffered terribly at his hands. 269 00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:44,400 I was his slave and I could never do anything right because he was a total 270 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:45,660 sadist. 271 00:21:46,500 --> 00:21:50,850 What in the old days... We will call the abounder. 272 00:21:53,470 --> 00:21:56,890 He made my life a misery for a year. 273 00:21:57,990 --> 00:22:01,530 I almost committed suicide because of him. 274 00:22:03,210 --> 00:22:07,750 He hasn't recognized me, but I've recognized him. 275 00:22:08,390 --> 00:22:09,390 Oh, yes. 276 00:22:10,590 --> 00:22:14,330 He was head of my house, a public school. 277 00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:21,600 And he wielded absolute power over the new men, as we small boys were called. 278 00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:26,680 As we know, absolute power corrupts absolutely. 279 00:22:28,260 --> 00:22:33,340 This man was a perfect Hitler to me. 280 00:22:34,300 --> 00:22:40,860 Any service not performed to his satisfaction was a beatable offense. 281 00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:46,640 And... how he loved to exercise that frilly. 282 00:22:47,980 --> 00:22:49,580 See who carries the cane? 283 00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:53,980 That's just like the one he used to beat me with. 284 00:22:54,220 --> 00:23:01,120 So scientifically, his peculiar talent was 285 00:23:01,120 --> 00:23:05,080 torture, mental and physical. 286 00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:12,940 Gentlemen, galloping, 287 00:23:16,980 --> 00:23:20,600 Well, Foxley, do you recognize me now? 288 00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:23,400 William Perkin? 289 00:23:24,740 --> 00:23:25,760 St. Wilfrid? 290 00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:29,740 I'm very glad to meet you. 291 00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:32,560 But I'm Fortescue. 292 00:23:33,580 --> 00:23:36,420 Jocelyn Fortescue, Eton, 1928. 293 00:23:38,660 --> 00:23:39,800 Ah, we came to arrive. 294 00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:51,280 Sorry old boy. 295 00:23:51,380 --> 00:23:53,020 We all make mistakes.