1 00:00:07,290 --> 00:00:09,510 Oh, hello, Kevin. Oh, hi, Mr. Belvedere. 2 00:00:10,930 --> 00:00:17,910 Someone having a sale of 3 00:00:17,910 --> 00:00:18,910 used food? 4 00:00:19,970 --> 00:00:23,330 Oh, no, this stuff's from my apartment. They're fumigating it for roaches and 5 00:00:23,330 --> 00:00:25,050 everything had to go, including me. 6 00:00:25,850 --> 00:00:27,890 Well, at least you didn't bring your dirty laundry. 7 00:00:29,110 --> 00:00:30,110 It's in the car. 8 00:00:33,390 --> 00:00:35,230 Toss in a box of Tide and push it in the river. 9 00:00:39,570 --> 00:00:40,570 Yeah, come on in, Carl. 10 00:00:42,350 --> 00:00:43,350 Hi, Kevin. 11 00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:44,950 Can I borrow your history notes? 12 00:00:46,450 --> 00:00:48,370 Oh, I just came back from a date. 13 00:00:49,770 --> 00:00:51,170 With who? The Temptations? 14 00:00:52,370 --> 00:00:54,730 I had high tea with Esther Blodgett. 15 00:00:54,930 --> 00:00:58,010 Who? She's a 68 -year -old widow with bursitis. 16 00:00:58,530 --> 00:00:59,790 Carl, what are you talking about? 17 00:01:00,050 --> 00:01:01,510 It's my new part -time job. 18 00:01:01,870 --> 00:01:04,170 I provide companionship for lonely women. 19 00:01:04,790 --> 00:01:05,990 Oh, yeah? That's really nice. 20 00:01:06,250 --> 00:01:08,250 Yeah. And it pays a bundle. 21 00:01:09,110 --> 00:01:11,490 Huh? I'm a professional escort. 22 00:01:12,050 --> 00:01:16,510 Hey, you sure this is legal? Yeah. And the agency's always on the lookout for 23 00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:19,270 clean -cut, suave -looking guys like me. 24 00:01:19,610 --> 00:01:20,548 Oh, yeah? 25 00:01:20,550 --> 00:01:23,550 Yeah. So, if you see any, give me a call. 26 00:01:27,470 --> 00:01:29,470 Is there something interesting on the news? 27 00:01:29,730 --> 00:01:30,890 No, we're looking for Dad. 28 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:32,200 But he's gone to Russia. 29 00:01:32,260 --> 00:01:34,180 We're watching a protest march in Moscow. 30 00:01:34,540 --> 00:01:35,560 Now we know he's arrived. 31 00:01:37,860 --> 00:01:41,740 I think it's really neat. I mean, my father's a sportscaster in this cultural 32 00:01:41,740 --> 00:01:42,760 exchange program. 33 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:46,720 Yeah, but I don't get it. I mean, Pittsburgh sent them dead, and all we 34 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:47,720 a dancing bear. 35 00:01:49,140 --> 00:01:50,960 Sounds like a fair trade to me. 36 00:01:52,740 --> 00:01:53,940 I can't believe this. 37 00:01:54,260 --> 00:01:55,940 Heating bill, $670. 38 00:01:56,540 --> 00:01:58,280 Electric bill, $510. 39 00:02:02,780 --> 00:02:05,580 It's just horrible. We're going to have to cut back on expenses. 40 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,640 You could fire my violin, teacher. 41 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:10,620 I could cut back on liquor and cigarettes. 42 00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:15,840 Very funny. No, we're just going to have to start by cutting back on unnecessary 43 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:20,200 expenses. Like all this junk. Oh, please, Mrs. Owens. 44 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:21,800 Let's not panic. 45 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:24,420 We have to do something. 46 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:27,320 Do you have any ideas, Mr. Belvedere? Oh, many. 47 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:29,400 But it would involve a good deal of sacrifice. 48 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:31,100 And I don't think you're up to it. 49 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:32,439 Says who? 50 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:37,800 Yeah. Well, if you're so determined, I think I could implement a few energy 51 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:39,100 -saving measures for the house. 52 00:02:39,420 --> 00:02:40,760 Wonderful. When do we start? 53 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:42,420 No time like the present. 54 00:02:58,760 --> 00:02:59,920 Never met him before. 55 00:03:00,300 --> 00:03:03,800 Who cares when you dropkick the jacket? 56 00:03:04,020 --> 00:03:10,280 As he came through the door, no one glared. But sometimes things get turned 57 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:12,760 around and no one's spared. 58 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:16,560 All hands look out below. 59 00:03:17,220 --> 00:03:19,600 There's a change in the status quo. 60 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:24,540 Gonna need all the help that we can get. 61 00:03:26,140 --> 00:03:27,880 According to our... 62 00:03:36,130 --> 00:03:37,130 Mr. 63 00:03:44,910 --> 00:03:46,290 Belvedere, it's getting cold in here. 64 00:03:46,970 --> 00:03:48,290 Can't we turn up the heat? 65 00:03:48,650 --> 00:03:51,370 I tried, but there's a padlock on the thermostat. 66 00:03:53,250 --> 00:03:54,530 Nice touch, don't you think? 67 00:03:56,190 --> 00:03:57,290 There's no hot water. 68 00:03:57,510 --> 00:04:01,910 Of course there is. You just have to pay for it with a ration coupon. 69 00:04:02,250 --> 00:04:06,070 Huh? We used them in England during the war. We were lost in so much clothing, 70 00:04:06,190 --> 00:04:07,370 so much food, so much gas. 71 00:04:07,730 --> 00:04:09,070 Guess you had plenty of both. 72 00:04:12,250 --> 00:04:14,550 So you're really going to stick us with those things? 73 00:04:14,830 --> 00:04:19,649 Indeed. And if you spend them wisely, you'll be able to have all the 74 00:04:19,649 --> 00:04:21,730 conveniences that you need. 75 00:04:22,150 --> 00:04:23,490 Like hot water. 76 00:04:25,770 --> 00:04:27,190 reruns of Gilligan's Island. 77 00:04:28,110 --> 00:04:29,870 Gee, that's right. It's on now. 78 00:04:32,650 --> 00:04:38,390 You're gonna be great, buddy. I can tell you're a natural. 79 00:04:39,610 --> 00:04:41,630 Gee, Kev, you must have a really hot date. 80 00:04:41,910 --> 00:04:44,650 Yeah, bring her over. We could stand around her and warm our hands. 81 00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:46,910 Where are you going, honey? 82 00:04:47,950 --> 00:04:49,910 I'm, uh, starting a new job tonight. 83 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:54,710 Oh? So, uh, what exactly is your new job, Kevin? 84 00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:59,040 Well, I'm in what you might call a service industry. 85 00:04:59,860 --> 00:05:03,440 Yeah, he sort of gets dressed up and provides a service. 86 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:05,000 Like a doctor? 87 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:07,600 More like a babysitter. What? 88 00:05:08,380 --> 00:05:09,620 Mom, I'm an escort. 89 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:14,980 You mean those people that women pay to go out with them? 90 00:05:15,860 --> 00:05:19,000 Yeah. Oh, wow, my brother's... 91 00:05:24,300 --> 00:05:29,140 I can assure you, Mrs. Owens, Kevin is a highly trained Ed's Affordable Escorts 92 00:05:29,140 --> 00:05:32,300 professional. There's absolutely no hanky -panky involved. 93 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:36,940 Oh, gee, Kevin, I don't know about this. I don't like it at all. 94 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:40,020 But, uh, you're old enough to make your own decisions. 95 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:42,040 Thanks, Mom. 96 00:05:42,740 --> 00:05:44,500 Regardless of how your mother feels. 97 00:05:45,860 --> 00:05:46,860 Come along, children. 98 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:59,160 I can't do this. Yes, you can. Come on, Kevin. All you have to do is take out a 99 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:02,140 nice, sweet old lady. What's the big deal? 100 00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:14,540 So I said to my ex, I says, Lou, the minute the ink is dry in the divorce 101 00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:20,080 settlement, I'm jumping the first set of young bones that gets in my way. And 102 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,200 it's you, sweet cheeks, jumping. 103 00:06:22,820 --> 00:06:23,820 Uh, no. 104 00:06:24,060 --> 00:06:26,120 Thanks, I don't drink. Suit yourself. 105 00:06:31,940 --> 00:06:35,960 Excuse me, can you drop me off at the next corner? I live there. 106 00:06:36,300 --> 00:06:38,280 At the sewage treatment plant. 107 00:06:39,260 --> 00:06:41,300 I'm a student. The rent's cheap. 108 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:43,440 Okay, I'll drop you. 109 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:46,860 After one more turn around the city. 110 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:53,140 It's freezing in here. 111 00:06:53,690 --> 00:06:55,370 Yeah, well, it's going to warm up pretty quick. 112 00:06:55,610 --> 00:06:56,429 What's the matter? 113 00:06:56,430 --> 00:06:58,110 I thought you said I'd get a sweet old lady. 114 00:06:58,390 --> 00:06:59,389 Did you? 115 00:06:59,390 --> 00:07:02,790 Hardly. I got this crazy sex bot who cornered me in a limo and wouldn't take 116 00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:04,250 hands off me. I'm shocked. 117 00:07:04,730 --> 00:07:05,730 What's your number? 118 00:07:07,050 --> 00:07:10,550 Carl, this isn't funny. I've got a Corinthian leather rash you wouldn't 119 00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:12,890 I've had it. 120 00:07:13,010 --> 00:07:16,950 Kevin, I'm disappointed in you. One bad experience and you quit? I thought you 121 00:07:16,950 --> 00:07:17,929 were a professional. 122 00:07:17,930 --> 00:07:20,650 How do you ever expect to get anywhere in life? 123 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:23,260 When the going gets tough, the tough get going. 124 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:25,280 You want something, don't you? 125 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:30,280 All you have to do is take a sweet old lady out on the town. 126 00:07:30,580 --> 00:07:32,740 No way. Oh, come on. It's an emergency. 127 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:34,760 Oh? What's her name? 128 00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:39,160 Claudette. You mean that French exchange student from France? 129 00:07:39,900 --> 00:07:40,900 Oui, oui, oui. 130 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:47,000 Forget it. Oh, I could introduce you to her American cousin, Fifi Lipschitz. 131 00:08:06,830 --> 00:08:07,830 I'm Florence. 132 00:08:09,190 --> 00:08:10,670 Is something the matter? 133 00:08:11,270 --> 00:08:14,330 Well, I was expecting someone a little bit older. 134 00:08:15,050 --> 00:08:17,770 Oh. Well, um, these are for you. 135 00:08:18,010 --> 00:08:19,210 Oh, well, thank you. 136 00:08:21,270 --> 00:08:23,830 So, where are we off to this evening? 137 00:08:24,110 --> 00:08:25,110 Well, that depends. 138 00:08:25,270 --> 00:08:27,490 Have you ever heard of Tex Beneke? 139 00:08:28,230 --> 00:08:29,250 Oh, yeah, I know him. 140 00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:30,910 Shortstop for the Red Sox, right? 141 00:08:31,430 --> 00:08:32,430 Okay. 142 00:08:32,750 --> 00:08:34,250 Can you do the jitterbug? 143 00:08:35,470 --> 00:08:37,690 No. but I have a nervous tick. 144 00:08:39,250 --> 00:08:40,250 Oh, dear. 145 00:08:40,630 --> 00:08:44,070 I did ask specifically for someone who could dance. 146 00:08:44,570 --> 00:08:46,670 I just knew that that escort thing wouldn't work. 147 00:08:46,930 --> 00:08:50,230 It is the last time I'm going to get a date out of the Yellow Pages. 148 00:08:50,670 --> 00:08:52,310 Hey, come on. Wait a minute. 149 00:08:52,510 --> 00:08:55,710 If it means anything, I was the hokey -pokey champ in the third grade. 150 00:08:56,070 --> 00:08:57,070 Well, 151 00:08:57,310 --> 00:09:01,410 I already had the tickets, and it sure beats sitting at home watching the 152 00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:02,410 Girls. 153 00:09:03,350 --> 00:09:04,990 So what do you say we give it a shot? 154 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:07,040 Let's go, pal. 155 00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:12,620 Tickety -tickety -tickety -tickety -tickety -tickety -tickety -tickety 156 00:09:12,620 --> 00:09:13,200 -tickety -tickety -tickety -tickety -tickety -tickety -tickety -tickety 157 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:13,200 -tickety -tickety -tickety -tickety -tickety -tickety -tickety -tickety 158 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:13,200 -tickety -tickety -tickety -tickety -tickety -tickety -tickety -tickety 159 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:13,320 -tickety -tickety -tickety -tickety -tickety -tickety -tickety -tickety 160 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:19,960 -tickety -tickety -tickety -tickety -tickety -tickety 161 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:25,260 -tickety 162 00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:27,560 -tickety -tickety 163 00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:34,240 -tick 164 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,880 Boy, it sounds like you two had a lot of fun. Oh, we really did. 165 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:39,420 I still miss him. 166 00:09:39,700 --> 00:09:42,080 Say, how about a cup of coffee for the road? 167 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:44,580 Oh, I wish I could, but I've got an early class. 168 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:45,880 I should go. 169 00:09:46,060 --> 00:09:47,600 Oh, haven't you forgotten something? 170 00:09:48,260 --> 00:09:49,540 What? Your fee. 171 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:55,100 Oh, I forgot all about that. Here you go. Hey, keep the change. 172 00:09:55,540 --> 00:09:56,540 Thanks. 173 00:09:57,140 --> 00:10:00,600 Here. You know, I had such a good time tonight. I feel kind of strange taking 174 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,720 this. Hey. 175 00:10:02,330 --> 00:10:04,650 Count Basie's band's coming to town next week. 176 00:10:05,010 --> 00:10:07,090 Are you up to learning the lindy? 177 00:10:07,350 --> 00:10:08,350 You bet. 178 00:10:11,950 --> 00:10:12,950 Mr. 179 00:10:14,610 --> 00:10:15,950 Belvedere, what happened to the telephone? 180 00:10:17,310 --> 00:10:18,310 Right here. 181 00:10:19,350 --> 00:10:21,830 A payphone? How am I supposed to call Angela? 182 00:10:22,310 --> 00:10:23,310 Try collect. 183 00:10:24,690 --> 00:10:26,610 Forget it. I'll just drive to her house. 184 00:10:27,070 --> 00:10:28,070 Oh, Heather. 185 00:10:29,150 --> 00:10:31,090 You've used up all your gas coupons. 186 00:10:46,030 --> 00:10:47,030 What happened to you? 187 00:10:47,110 --> 00:10:51,630 The sweet old lady I went out with last night wasn't sweet, wasn't old, and at 188 00:10:51,630 --> 00:10:54,230 about 10 o 'clock I found out he wasn't a lady. 189 00:10:56,410 --> 00:10:57,710 See, Carl, that's too bad. 190 00:10:58,030 --> 00:10:59,350 What's going on with you, pal? 191 00:10:59,570 --> 00:11:03,410 I was just down at the agency and they told me you turned down your last three 192 00:11:03,410 --> 00:11:05,010 jobs. So? 193 00:11:05,350 --> 00:11:07,850 So I might have to refund my finder's fee. 194 00:11:08,470 --> 00:11:09,510 Oh, I've been busy. 195 00:11:09,790 --> 00:11:10,790 With what? 196 00:11:11,150 --> 00:11:13,410 With Florence. We've been seeing a lot of each other. 197 00:11:14,630 --> 00:11:15,630 Oh, oh. 198 00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:20,740 I get it. She's been paying you under the table. Good scam, Kev. Carl, I'm not 199 00:11:20,740 --> 00:11:21,740 charging her. 200 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:23,040 What? 201 00:11:24,460 --> 00:11:26,380 Well, I'm seeing her because I like her. 202 00:11:26,780 --> 00:11:27,780 That's sick. 203 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:30,260 Hey, come on. She's a sweet old lady. 204 00:11:30,460 --> 00:11:32,120 She's probably living off Social Security. 205 00:11:32,460 --> 00:11:34,800 What do you want me to do, squeeze every last dime out of her? 206 00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:37,040 I would. 207 00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:44,140 Flo, you are a maniac behind the wheel. I mean, you sent those two sailors 208 00:11:44,140 --> 00:11:45,140 flying. 209 00:11:45,550 --> 00:11:49,050 You put me in a bumper car and I lose all control. 210 00:11:50,050 --> 00:11:51,830 Would you like a drink? 211 00:11:52,250 --> 00:11:53,630 Yeah, I'll just have whatever you're having. 212 00:11:53,870 --> 00:11:56,570 All right, one prune juice coming up. 213 00:12:00,450 --> 00:12:03,930 Say, how did you make out on your ancient history exam? 214 00:12:04,550 --> 00:12:06,050 Well, I got a C minus. 215 00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:08,410 You should have called me. 216 00:12:08,670 --> 00:12:10,190 I probably was there. 217 00:12:12,270 --> 00:12:15,610 Flo, you have a really great sense of humor. You do, too, to put up with me. 218 00:12:15,990 --> 00:12:17,210 What are you talking about? 219 00:12:17,430 --> 00:12:20,230 You're a lot more fun to go out with than most of the girls I usually date. 220 00:12:20,590 --> 00:12:22,290 We really do get along, don't we? 221 00:12:22,650 --> 00:12:23,950 Yeah, sure. I think so. 222 00:12:24,490 --> 00:12:25,490 Me, too. 223 00:12:25,930 --> 00:12:29,830 So as I say, what the hey, let's do it. 224 00:12:34,050 --> 00:12:37,850 You mean the two of us here right now? 225 00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:42,680 We could wait a couple of weeks. We could make it a big event. I could 226 00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:44,320 all your friends and relatives. 227 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,060 You mean to watch? 228 00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:47,560 Well, certainly. 229 00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:51,160 I could rent some chairs and get Beverly, my neighbor, to sing. 230 00:12:54,100 --> 00:12:55,880 Florence, what are we talking about? 231 00:12:56,680 --> 00:12:57,680 Our wedding. 232 00:12:58,300 --> 00:12:59,300 Our what? 233 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:03,160 Are you... You're proposing to me? 234 00:13:03,500 --> 00:13:04,600 Sure, why not? 235 00:13:05,420 --> 00:13:08,380 Well, I don't know. I mean, this is all so sudden. 236 00:13:09,020 --> 00:13:12,220 I mean, I'm still in college. People in college get married? 237 00:13:12,860 --> 00:13:17,080 I don't even have a job. Neither do I. That gives us more time together. 238 00:13:17,460 --> 00:13:21,840 No, Florence, I really... Oh, look, if it's the money you're worried about, I 239 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:25,660 have more than enough for the two of us. Florence, I refuse to live off your 240 00:13:25,660 --> 00:13:26,660 Social Security. 241 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:29,420 Who's talking about Social Security? 242 00:13:30,260 --> 00:13:33,780 I have seven million dollars in the bank. 243 00:13:42,819 --> 00:13:43,819 Remodeling it. 244 00:13:48,980 --> 00:13:50,540 Why are you all out here? It's freezing. 245 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:52,780 It's warmer out here than it is in there. 246 00:13:53,260 --> 00:13:55,060 This stuff sure doesn't throw much heat. 247 00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:56,440 What are you burning, anyway? 248 00:13:57,100 --> 00:13:58,540 Your immigration papers. 249 00:14:00,460 --> 00:14:02,180 I'd get anything for a hot meal. 250 00:14:02,460 --> 00:14:03,460 You could have had one. 251 00:14:03,580 --> 00:14:06,840 If you hadn't blown all your ration coupons on your Lady Norelco. 252 00:14:08,020 --> 00:14:09,940 Hey, let's go down to the railroad tracks. 253 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:11,200 I hear it's stew night. 254 00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:13,160 What are we waiting for? 255 00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:17,440 Well, no sense in wasting a good fire. 256 00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:25,200 Ah, hello, Kevin. 257 00:14:25,540 --> 00:14:26,540 Care to join me? 258 00:14:26,740 --> 00:14:27,740 No, thanks. 259 00:14:29,420 --> 00:14:32,960 Mr. Belvedere, what do you think about marrying an older woman? 260 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:37,200 If the Queen Mother asks me, I might consider it. 261 00:14:38,300 --> 00:14:39,520 He's talking about me. 262 00:14:39,860 --> 00:14:40,860 I was afraid of that. 263 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:45,180 See, I met this really nice lady, Florence. We've been getting along 264 00:14:45,180 --> 00:14:46,760 she asked me to marry her. 265 00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:48,740 How old is this very nice lady? 266 00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:51,140 Sixty -five. 267 00:14:52,860 --> 00:14:56,400 Kevin, why would you even consider marrying a 65 -year -old woman? 268 00:14:57,340 --> 00:14:58,440 Because she loves me. 269 00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:03,480 And she has seven million dollars that she wants to leave all to me. 270 00:15:04,260 --> 00:15:05,620 Will you be needing a housekeeper? 271 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:08,580 This is serious, Mr. Belvedere. 272 00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:10,640 Look, Kevin. 273 00:15:11,210 --> 00:15:12,210 Answer me one question. 274 00:15:12,950 --> 00:15:17,130 If Florence didn't have all that money, would you still want to marry her? 275 00:15:19,750 --> 00:15:20,750 Good night, Kelly. 276 00:15:21,090 --> 00:15:21,530 Good 277 00:15:21,530 --> 00:15:33,310 night. 278 00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:39,950 Mom, everybody, I have an announcement. 279 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:41,680 I'm getting married. 280 00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:43,040 What? Who? 281 00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:45,660 Oh, nobody special. Just some girl. 282 00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:46,900 What girl? 283 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:52,760 Well, actually, she's more than a girl. She's actually kind of like a woman. 284 00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:54,420 And I met her at work. 285 00:15:55,220 --> 00:15:59,780 You're marrying some bimbo who's been paying you to squire her around town? 286 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,000 Gee, Kev, you must have squired her pretty good. 287 00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:05,100 Hey, look, guys. 288 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:09,660 Hey, don't. Hey, look, guys. Me, mister. I saw the graduate. I know all about... 289 00:16:11,050 --> 00:16:13,750 aged women trying to get their hooks into innocent young boys. 290 00:16:13,950 --> 00:16:18,070 Mom. I can just see her. She probably wears four tons of jewelry and two 291 00:16:18,070 --> 00:16:18,809 of makeup. 292 00:16:18,810 --> 00:16:21,410 It's not like that. I want to meet this woman tonight. 293 00:16:21,790 --> 00:16:23,750 Here, face to face. 294 00:16:26,510 --> 00:16:28,810 Oh, this is like being at the equator. 295 00:16:29,410 --> 00:16:32,870 Yeah. It must be almost 65 degrees in here. 296 00:16:33,690 --> 00:16:34,750 Get too comfortable. 297 00:16:35,970 --> 00:16:37,470 There's a cold front on its way. 298 00:16:39,980 --> 00:16:40,879 little robbing hussy. 299 00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:42,340 Mom, take it easy, please. 300 00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:45,260 I won't rest until I've had it out with that tramp. 301 00:16:45,460 --> 00:16:47,000 You know, you're really over the top here. 302 00:16:47,220 --> 00:16:50,920 I am not. The mother lioness must protect her lionet. 303 00:16:51,180 --> 00:16:54,860 Is there anything like the mother raisin must protect her raisinets? 304 00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:03,540 As long as I draw breath, no son of mine is going to be eaten alive by some 305 00:17:03,540 --> 00:17:05,359 oversexed she -wolf. 306 00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:09,359 Can I help you? Mrs. Owens? 307 00:17:09,900 --> 00:17:10,940 I'm Florence Talbot. 308 00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:13,400 Who? Kevin's fiancé. 309 00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:16,700 Kevin, 310 00:17:17,599 --> 00:17:19,440 can we have a word? 311 00:17:25,460 --> 00:17:28,040 All right, young man. What is going on? 312 00:17:28,319 --> 00:17:29,320 What do you mean? 313 00:17:29,620 --> 00:17:32,640 Just exactly how old is your fiancé? 314 00:17:33,900 --> 00:17:35,100 Sixty -five and a half. 315 00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:37,080 Do you think this is funny? 316 00:17:37,340 --> 00:17:39,220 Why didn't you tell me this before? 317 00:17:40,900 --> 00:17:42,700 Anyway, would it have made any difference? 318 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:45,360 All right, Kevin. 319 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:49,980 Let's, uh... Let's try to discuss this reasonably. 320 00:17:50,420 --> 00:17:55,760 Okay. You think you want to marry this Florence person. 321 00:17:56,420 --> 00:17:58,020 Just tell me why. 322 00:17:59,700 --> 00:18:04,120 She loves me. Oh, come on, Kevin. The woman is three times your age. It's got 323 00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:05,120 be more to it than that. 324 00:18:20,940 --> 00:18:21,940 Super Poly Group. 325 00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:27,740 Are you and Kevin planning on having kids right away? 326 00:18:29,980 --> 00:18:32,920 Why don't you children go and play in the traffic? 327 00:18:35,780 --> 00:18:36,780 Scram. 328 00:18:41,420 --> 00:18:48,380 What do you think they're talking about in 329 00:18:48,380 --> 00:18:49,380 there? 330 00:18:53,420 --> 00:18:57,400 a marriage between a 20 -year -old boy and a woman who's old enough to know 331 00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:58,400 better. 332 00:18:58,860 --> 00:19:00,720 You don't mince words, do you? 333 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,040 Not where Kevin is concerned. 334 00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:09,460 You know, it occurs to me that I really didn't think this thing through. 335 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:14,360 Well, if it's any consolation to you, I don't think Kevin did either. 336 00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:21,780 Look, Kevin, I'm sure that Florence is a very nice person, but she's nearly 70 337 00:19:21,780 --> 00:19:22,780 years old. 338 00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:25,240 in front of you. 339 00:19:25,300 --> 00:19:27,200 What about your future? 340 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:28,680 What future? 341 00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:31,460 I mean, let's face it, Mom. I'm an ordinary guy. 342 00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:34,340 I studied my butt off at school and I still have a C average. 343 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:35,600 So? 344 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,560 So the woman is worth seven million dollars. 345 00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:41,540 I mean, what am I ever going to do in life that's going to top that? 346 00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:45,960 Florence. 347 00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:52,440 I think I've created enough trouble tonight. 348 00:20:07,210 --> 00:20:08,210 sounded pretty awful. 349 00:20:09,010 --> 00:20:10,430 Oh, that's all right. 350 00:20:11,510 --> 00:20:13,850 I've always admired your honesty. 351 00:20:14,870 --> 00:20:18,730 You're not much of a dancer, but you are honest. 352 00:20:20,350 --> 00:20:25,490 The thing is, I really do like you. 353 00:20:26,510 --> 00:20:27,930 I don't know what happened. 354 00:20:29,690 --> 00:20:35,550 You know, I remember something my husband said years ago, just before he 355 00:20:36,620 --> 00:20:40,300 He said, Flo, you're going to be a rich lady. 356 00:20:41,420 --> 00:20:47,240 And after I'm gone, I want you to go out and buy yourself something nice. 357 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:52,620 I guess that's what I tried to do. 358 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,000 Thanks. 359 00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:00,360 Well, listen, we can still see each other sometime. 360 00:21:01,740 --> 00:21:07,120 Sure. Look, if Les Brown ever comes to town, we can go out and cut a rug. 361 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:09,140 You have got yourself a date. 362 00:21:10,540 --> 00:21:11,680 Well, I better go. 363 00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:13,160 Sure. 364 00:21:15,380 --> 00:21:20,520 By the way, how old is that housekeeper of yours? 365 00:21:37,710 --> 00:21:38,649 It's paid off. 366 00:21:38,650 --> 00:21:41,970 I can't believe it. It's $3 higher than last month. 367 00:21:42,170 --> 00:21:43,170 No way. 368 00:21:43,510 --> 00:21:44,570 There must be some mistake. 369 00:21:44,870 --> 00:21:46,530 Maybe Mr. Belvedere can figure it out. 370 00:22:18,410 --> 00:22:19,229 I did. 371 00:22:19,230 --> 00:22:21,590 Once. I'd be crazy to do it again. 372 00:22:23,070 --> 00:22:24,890 I'm sure you can see the humor in all this. 373 00:22:25,730 --> 00:22:29,230 Besides, think how all this privation has brought you together. 374 00:22:30,370 --> 00:22:33,590 Perhaps I'd better go and see if Dorothy's little company in Red Square. 375 00:22:34,150 --> 00:22:35,150 That's for done. 376 00:22:39,330 --> 00:22:40,330 Mr. 377 00:22:41,950 --> 00:22:43,210 Belvedere will be right back. 378 00:22:44,590 --> 00:22:45,730 Are you abusing me? 379 00:22:45,950 --> 00:22:47,230 Deadly Silence, Sunday. 380 00:22:49,230 --> 00:22:54,150 Kevin has recovered nicely from the trauma of losing a woman three times his 381 00:22:54,150 --> 00:22:55,150 age. 382 00:22:55,210 --> 00:22:59,390 He has returned briefly to the trauma of losing girls his own age. 383 00:23:00,270 --> 00:23:05,210 As for the rest of the Owens, while they may have warmed up physically, they are 384 00:23:05,210 --> 00:23:07,810 still freezing me out over my little practical joke. 385 00:23:08,570 --> 00:23:10,930 But there is an upside to the big chore. 386 00:23:12,250 --> 00:23:15,410 I don't have to go downstairs to get an Eskimo pie. 387 00:23:22,380 --> 00:23:26,720 I'm Ted Koppel. Later on Nightline, it's Charlie Chaplin's 100th birthday this 388 00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:29,320 Sunday, and there'll be special commemorations around the world. 389 00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:31,280 We'll celebrate tonight. 390 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:36,840 Tuesday at 8, Samantha and Mona plan a night on the town to drown their 391 00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:38,960 boyfriend, Blues, on Who's the Boss? 392 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:43,980 Then little brother Kevin comes to the rescue of his big sister on the window.