1
00:00:01,540 --> 00:00:04,240
Who? Lamar Gooberson, the fattest man in
the world.

2
00:00:04,940 --> 00:00:07,780
It says when he died, he weighed over 1
,200 pounds.

3
00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:09,680
They had to bury him in a piano crate.

4
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:13,040
Wow. Jim, I wonder who the fattest man
in the world is now.

5
00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:14,920
Good morning, everyone.

6
00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:20,440
Ah,

7
00:00:21,940 --> 00:00:23,720
see you guys. I gotta get down to the
station.

8
00:00:24,080 --> 00:00:26,300
Huh? But you don't have to do the news
until tonight.

9
00:00:26,540 --> 00:00:27,279
I know.

10
00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:29,220
I just got a call from the Barbara
Collins show.

11
00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:31,420
Somebody fell through, so they need
another guest.

12
00:00:31,660 --> 00:00:33,960
Pronto. And they're sending you to pick
him up?

13
00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:36,280
No, I'm it.

14
00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:39,180
I guess they want me to dazzle them with
a few of my sports stories.

15
00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:43,060
Oh, that's great, honey. Barbara Collins
has the number one show in Pittsburgh.

16
00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:44,640
At least she did.

17
00:00:46,340 --> 00:00:48,560
Good luck, George. Yeah, knock them
dead.

18
00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:50,040
Thanks,

19
00:00:50,380 --> 00:00:52,660
guys. I just hope I do as good as the
guy who canceled.

20
00:00:52,940 --> 00:00:55,880
Who was that guy? I don't know. I think
it was that Michael Jackson guy.

21
00:01:07,820 --> 00:01:09,660
never mattered before.

22
00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:15,660
Who cares when you pop kicked your
jacket as you came through the door?

23
00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:22,520
No one glared, but sometimes things get
turned around and no one's spared.

24
00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:26,320
All hands look out below.

25
00:01:26,940 --> 00:01:29,360
There's a change in the status quo.

26
00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:33,520
Gonna need all the help that we can.

27
00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:41,100
According to our arrival, life is more
than mere survival.

28
00:01:42,020 --> 00:01:44,960
We just might live the good life yet.

29
00:01:54,000 --> 00:02:00,920
So, Drysdale looks at me and says, what
do you mean pull over?

30
00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:02,060
I thought you were driving.

31
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:07,760
Absolutely marvelous.

32
00:02:08,460 --> 00:02:10,600
Now, come on, George, give us the
lowdown.

33
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:14,060
Do you really think the pirates are
going to leave Pittsburgh?

34
00:02:14,420 --> 00:02:18,240
Oh, I hope not, Barbara, because if they
do, it's really going to upset their

35
00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:19,240
fan.

36
00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:25,700
Oh, there, we're out of time.

37
00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:31,700
On behalf of my co -host Brad and
myself, I would like to thank all our

38
00:02:31,700 --> 00:02:36,790
today, especially... Especially
sportscaster George Owens, who is the

39
00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:40,710
fabulous guest we've had on here for a
long, long time.

40
00:02:41,550 --> 00:02:42,550
Bye, everybody.

41
00:02:47,830 --> 00:02:49,010
Thanks, George.

42
00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:53,670
That was terrific. I really appreciate
your filling in on such short notice.

43
00:02:53,910 --> 00:02:55,070
Oh, it was my pleasure, Miss Collins.

44
00:02:55,310 --> 00:02:56,670
Please, call me Barbara.

45
00:02:56,970 --> 00:02:57,970
Hey, George.

46
00:02:58,280 --> 00:02:59,280
You've done real good.

47
00:02:59,420 --> 00:03:02,760
Oh, Brad, I believe the grown -ups were
talking.

48
00:03:03,060 --> 00:03:04,260
Oh, sorry, Barb.

49
00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:07,000
Well, I'll just wait in your dressing
room.

50
00:03:07,260 --> 00:03:08,260
Fine.

51
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:14,340
Anyway, thanks again for having me.
Maybe we can do it again sometime.

52
00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:16,800
Okay. How about tomorrow?

53
00:03:17,380 --> 00:03:19,440
Huh? I'll see you here at eight.

54
00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:26,640
Hey, where have you guys been? At the
mall. I figured it was time to get with

55
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:27,579
somebody close.

56
00:03:27,580 --> 00:03:28,580
Oh, yeah? What'd you get?

57
00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:29,600
A worm.

58
00:03:30,540 --> 00:03:33,360
That stuff looks just as nerdy as the
other junk you wear.

59
00:03:33,940 --> 00:03:36,360
Hey! Well, I think he looks very
handsome.

60
00:03:37,060 --> 00:03:39,580
I'll go put the rest of this stuff up in
your room. Thanks, Mom.

61
00:03:42,860 --> 00:03:46,340
What are you laughing at? You. You look
like Dennis the Menace.

62
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:48,160
Huh?

63
00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:50,900
Blanche, don't you see what Mom's doing?

64
00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:53,380
You're her youngest, her little baby.

65
00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:55,600
And she's still dressing you like one.

66
00:03:56,650 --> 00:03:58,530
What do you mean? It's not like I'm
wearing a diaper or anything.

67
00:03:59,630 --> 00:04:03,490
Go ahead, Wes. Yuck it up. But you're in
junior high now, and pretty soon

68
00:04:03,490 --> 00:04:05,070
everybody's going to be laughing at you.

69
00:04:06,230 --> 00:04:07,370
Yeah, I guess you're right.

70
00:04:08,670 --> 00:04:09,750
So what should I do?

71
00:04:10,790 --> 00:04:12,250
Just leave everything to me.

72
00:04:15,710 --> 00:04:19,910
Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your
attention, please? I am proud to present

73
00:04:19,910 --> 00:04:24,970
the new, improved, and incredibly hip
Wesley T. Owens for 88.

74
00:04:32,590 --> 00:04:33,590
Hi, Mr. Belvedere.

75
00:04:37,370 --> 00:04:39,090
Well, it sounds like him.

76
00:04:39,690 --> 00:04:43,610
Maybe it's part of the FBI's witness
relocation program.

77
00:04:44,770 --> 00:04:46,490
What happened to all the clothes I just
bought?

78
00:04:46,710 --> 00:04:48,530
We took them back. Doesn't he look
great?

79
00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:51,510
He just looks so grown up.

80
00:04:52,470 --> 00:04:54,350
What happened to my little baby?

81
00:04:56,990 --> 00:04:58,770
Mom, I'm 12.

82
00:04:59,410 --> 00:05:00,410
Get a life.

83
00:05:06,410 --> 00:05:09,150
this that I almost wish I had another
one.

84
00:05:09,570 --> 00:05:13,350
Mrs. Owens, please, for the sake of
mankind, don't.

85
00:05:14,850 --> 00:05:21,470
Then you add some finely chopped
cilantro to your diced tomatoes,

86
00:05:21,470 --> 00:05:25,950
onions, which gives your souffle an
exciting Mexican flair.

87
00:05:26,330 --> 00:05:27,910
Mexican food is good.

88
00:05:28,430 --> 00:05:29,430
Quite right.

89
00:05:30,370 --> 00:05:34,950
Well, I don't know about you, George,
but I am a complete disaster in the

90
00:05:34,950 --> 00:05:39,040
kitchen. Do you do any cooking at home?
Oh, actually, I make a pretty mean bowl

91
00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:39,539
of chili.

92
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:41,480
Huh? At least that's what the survivors
tell me.

93
00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:48,580
Now, George, fun is fun, but you're
falling down on the job. Oh, sorry, I

94
00:05:48,580 --> 00:05:52,460
the cooking, lady. Now, how much milk
does it say that we need to put? Uh, it

95
00:05:52,460 --> 00:05:54,700
says here one -half cup. One -half cup.

96
00:05:55,140 --> 00:05:58,040
And a pinch of salt. And a pinch of
salt.

97
00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:01,700
Then you take two eggs. Then you take
two eggs. And you crack them over your

98
00:06:01,700 --> 00:06:02,700
head. And you crack them.

99
00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:20,200
I think, after this word from our
spouse.

100
00:06:26,380 --> 00:06:28,460
Oh, my, Skip, look who's here.

101
00:06:28,780 --> 00:06:29,659
Oh, hey, guys.

102
00:06:29,660 --> 00:06:31,560
I was just going over some coffee for
tonight.

103
00:06:31,780 --> 00:06:33,300
Oh, you're still doing sports?

104
00:06:33,780 --> 00:06:36,500
I didn't think Mr. Talk Show had the
time.

105
00:06:37,180 --> 00:06:39,840
Yeah, well, I think I'm finished doing
the Barbara Collins show.

106
00:06:40,220 --> 00:06:41,980
especially after that egg business this
morning.

107
00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:43,880
It's probably just as well.

108
00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:48,720
Believe me, the further away you stay
from the spider lady, the better.

109
00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:49,899
Oh, yeah?

110
00:06:49,900 --> 00:06:54,920
I mean, I hate to spread stuff like this
around, but Barbara's sort of a man

111
00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:56,500
-eater. What do you mean?

112
00:06:56,820 --> 00:07:00,680
Oh, I mean, first she has a guy on as a
guest, and then she makes him her co

113
00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:04,760
-host. Then she chews him up and spits
him out. Batui.

114
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:09,020
Oh, come on. You guys are nuts.

115
00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:13,520
Mr. George, six months ago, Brad was a
guest on Barbara's show, too.

116
00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:17,980
So? So he came on to give a pool
cleaning demonstration.

117
00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:20,760
Well, see you guys.

118
00:07:21,100 --> 00:07:22,160
Hey, where are you going, Brad?

119
00:07:22,780 --> 00:07:24,160
Oh, I just got canned.

120
00:07:24,580 --> 00:07:28,940
Well, Barbara said she was only holding
me back, so I'm going out to California

121
00:07:28,940 --> 00:07:30,500
to try out for the Tonight Show.

122
00:07:31,100 --> 00:07:33,120
Here comes Johnny.

123
00:07:35,620 --> 00:07:38,120
That's great, Brad. Yeah, best of luck.

124
00:07:41,610 --> 00:07:44,690
If you're not going to be co -host
anymore, who is?

125
00:07:45,110 --> 00:07:46,110
Oh, George.

126
00:07:59,290 --> 00:08:02,390
Here's your coffee, Mrs. Owens. Oh,
thank you, Mr. Belvedere.

127
00:08:02,990 --> 00:08:03,990
Mr.

128
00:08:04,270 --> 00:08:09,070
Belvedere? Yes, ma 'am. This is double
Dutch mocha. I wanted Swiss orange mint.

129
00:08:09,390 --> 00:08:10,390
Oh, I'm sorry.

130
00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:12,720
Let me draw you a map to the kitchen.

131
00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:19,140
See you guys. Wes and I are going to the
movies. Come on, Wes. We're going to be

132
00:08:19,140 --> 00:08:20,840
late. I'm coming. I'm coming.

133
00:08:25,700 --> 00:08:27,600
Well, ciao, people.

134
00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:31,300
What are you wearing? I didn't buy you
that.

135
00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:32,799
I bought it.

136
00:08:33,159 --> 00:08:34,840
I needed something for after six.

137
00:08:49,620 --> 00:08:52,820
Wonderful. Yeah, especially when you
made Estelle the cooking lady break that

138
00:08:52,820 --> 00:08:54,440
egg on her head. That was great.

139
00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:55,759
Oh, yeah?

140
00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:57,520
I couldn't believe she was that stupid.

141
00:08:59,140 --> 00:09:02,400
So, did Barbara Collins say anything? Is
she going to hand you back on the show?

142
00:09:02,820 --> 00:09:06,640
Uh, yeah. In fact, she asked me to be
her new co -host.

143
00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:08,240
George, that's great.

144
00:09:08,860 --> 00:09:10,100
Oh, well done, George.

145
00:09:10,820 --> 00:09:12,080
What happened to the pool guy?

146
00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:14,160
Oh, he sort of went down a drain.

147
00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:19,120
So, what did you tell her? Are you going
to do it?

148
00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:24,140
Actually, I don't have much of a choice.
The station manager pretty much said

149
00:09:24,140 --> 00:09:26,020
whatever Barbara wants, Barbara gets.

150
00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:30,360
Well, I say she picked herself a winner
and then we all go out and celebrate.

151
00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:31,720
Splendid idea.

152
00:09:33,860 --> 00:09:34,260
Oh,

153
00:09:34,260 --> 00:09:42,240
George,

154
00:09:42,340 --> 00:09:43,340
I didn't know you were out here.

155
00:09:44,140 --> 00:09:45,140
Hey, Belvedere.

156
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:49,780
If you're looking for... that salami you
hid in the drainpipe, Wes and I already

157
00:09:49,780 --> 00:09:50,780
got it.

158
00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:52,960
Oh.

159
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:56,220
You're up rather late, aren't you?

160
00:09:56,820 --> 00:09:57,820
I couldn't sleep.

161
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:01,020
Oh, it's only natural to be nervous
before assuming a new position.

162
00:10:01,340 --> 00:10:02,500
Yeah, real funny.

163
00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:08,100
Oh, it's just this Barbara Collins
broad? Mm -hmm.

164
00:10:08,700 --> 00:10:11,780
I think she's got more in mind than me
just sitting next to her in a chair.

165
00:10:12,060 --> 00:10:13,060
Oh.

166
00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:20,990
at this. I mean, she didn't actually
proposition you, did she?

167
00:10:21,990 --> 00:10:26,370
No, not exactly. It's just I sort of
heard she has this reputation.

168
00:10:26,790 --> 00:10:27,930
And where did you hear this?

169
00:10:28,150 --> 00:10:29,150
In gym?

170
00:10:31,090 --> 00:10:35,010
Look, George, you shouldn't pay any mind
to this sort of idle gossip.

171
00:10:35,770 --> 00:10:37,270
Yeah, I know. I know.

172
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:42,050
And in the unlikely event that she does
make advances, simply tell her you're

173
00:10:42,050 --> 00:10:43,050
not that kind of co -host.

174
00:10:46,250 --> 00:10:47,250
Thanks, big guy.

175
00:10:57,450 --> 00:10:58,450
didn't find the backup.

176
00:11:00,070 --> 00:11:01,070
Hey, guys.

177
00:11:01,170 --> 00:11:02,790
Honey, what happened to your pants?

178
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:06,690
Looks like someone's finally off his
fashion kick.

179
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:08,250
Are you kidding?

180
00:11:08,630 --> 00:11:12,170
These are Chateau Latouche jeans. They
were pre -shredded in Paris.

181
00:11:13,510 --> 00:11:16,510
Wesley, don't you think you're getting a
little carried away with all this

182
00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:17,830
sartorial splendor?

183
00:11:18,490 --> 00:11:22,070
No. And that reminds me, I've been
meaning to have a word with you about

184
00:11:22,070 --> 00:11:23,070
sweater thing.

185
00:11:25,150 --> 00:11:26,190
Gentlemen, squawkily.

186
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:30,080
Yeah, if I were you, I'd check out the
Spring Portly Preview.

187
00:11:33,340 --> 00:11:35,160
All right, folks, we're out of time.

188
00:11:35,540 --> 00:11:41,020
Let's hear it for our very special
guest, the fabulous Bernard and his

189
00:11:41,020 --> 00:11:42,380
beard of bees.

190
00:11:45,380 --> 00:11:50,480
Listen, Bernie, I'm really sorry about
pulling out that bit of honey. I didn't

191
00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:52,360
think it'd get the little bugger so
worked up.

192
00:11:59,310 --> 00:12:01,770
Good show today, George, as always.

193
00:12:02,010 --> 00:12:05,570
Gee, thanks, Barbara. I mean, it's a
real pleasure to work with a man who's a

194
00:12:05,570 --> 00:12:11,750
little older, more sophisticated than
these towel boys they usually straddle

195
00:12:11,750 --> 00:12:12,750
with.

196
00:12:12,990 --> 00:12:14,390
You mean saddle you with.

197
00:12:15,150 --> 00:12:16,150
Whatever.

198
00:12:17,350 --> 00:12:22,390
Anyway, I have been mulling over some
great new ideas for the show, and I

199
00:12:22,390 --> 00:12:25,110
thought we might get together and
discuss them. Oh, sure.

200
00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:29,460
No, I don't mean here.

201
00:12:30,100 --> 00:12:32,040
No, I thought we could go to my dressing
room.

202
00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:36,440
You know, where we won't feel so...
inhibited.

203
00:12:36,980 --> 00:12:41,520
Oh, gee, that sounds great, Barb, but I
got a sports report coming up in about

204
00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:43,280
eight hours, so I better get cracking.

205
00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:47,140
I mean, you know how hectic things get
around here during basketball season.

206
00:12:47,980 --> 00:12:51,920
George, Pittsburgh doesn't have a
basketball team.

207
00:12:53,220 --> 00:12:56,400
That's right, and I think it's high time
people knew why.

208
00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:01,720
What story do you like best?

209
00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:08,140
Boy Raised by Dogs Wins Best of Show or
Productivity Up at Clothing Optional

210
00:13:08,140 --> 00:13:09,140
Steel Mill?

211
00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:12,420
Gee, I don't know, Skip. They both sound
pretty tasteless.

212
00:13:12,660 --> 00:13:13,660
Yeah, I know.

213
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,460
God, I love sweeps.

214
00:13:17,420 --> 00:13:18,420
Hi, guys.

215
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:19,480
Hi, George.

216
00:13:19,820 --> 00:13:22,540
So, how's it going with Cruella DeVille?

217
00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:27,600
I just gotta get out of that co -host
thing before she drives me nuts.

218
00:13:28,220 --> 00:13:29,600
Stick to sports, Rebel.

219
00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:31,509
Uh -oh.

220
00:13:31,510 --> 00:13:32,509
Oh, George.

221
00:13:32,510 --> 00:13:34,750
Um, no, as of today, I'm doing sports.

222
00:13:35,350 --> 00:13:36,610
Huh? Why?

223
00:13:37,070 --> 00:13:41,370
Well, apparently, Barbara convinced the
station manager that your sports job was

224
00:13:41,370 --> 00:13:44,130
interfering with your co -host
responsibilities.

225
00:13:46,310 --> 00:13:47,310
Okay.

226
00:13:47,590 --> 00:13:48,329
That's it.

227
00:13:48,330 --> 00:13:50,590
I'm gonna give that broad a piece of my
mind.

228
00:13:50,930 --> 00:13:53,170
I don't think she'll settle for that.

229
00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:17,040
We have to celebrate.

230
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,160
Celebrate what?

231
00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:26,200
George, do you know what's in these
envelopes? Alimony?

232
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:28,080
Fan mail, George.

233
00:14:28,620 --> 00:14:32,500
Lots and lots of wonderful fan mail.

234
00:14:33,020 --> 00:14:34,700
And it's all for you.

235
00:14:35,540 --> 00:14:36,540
Oh, yeah?

236
00:14:37,220 --> 00:14:38,400
You're a hit, George.

237
00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:44,140
People like you. They want to see more
of you. I mean, they can feel your

238
00:14:44,140 --> 00:14:45,140
strength.

239
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:52,580
Your very essence as it comes bursting
through that TV screen. They just can't

240
00:14:52,580 --> 00:14:54,000
wait to turn...

241
00:15:14,730 --> 00:15:15,730
you come in here?

242
00:15:17,990 --> 00:15:19,130
I don't remember.

243
00:15:21,290 --> 00:15:27,250
Look, George, I think I know what's
troubling you, and I understand

244
00:15:27,810 --> 00:15:28,609
You do?

245
00:15:28,610 --> 00:15:29,269
Mm -hmm.

246
00:15:29,270 --> 00:15:32,650
Being naughty in the dressing room, it's
just so tacky.

247
00:15:33,930 --> 00:15:36,330
So why don't we make it tomorrow night
for dinner?

248
00:15:36,590 --> 00:15:40,190
No. Say around eight, my place? Forget
it.

249
00:15:40,670 --> 00:15:44,150
Which do you prefer, white wine or red?

250
00:15:44,430 --> 00:15:45,430
I'm

251
00:15:56,650 --> 00:15:57,650
Must be white.

252
00:15:59,770 --> 00:16:02,670
Well, this is all my fault. I created a
monster.

253
00:16:03,030 --> 00:16:06,790
I presume you're referring to our own
little Wesleyo Armani.

254
00:16:09,750 --> 00:16:10,990
You know what he's doing now?

255
00:16:11,450 --> 00:16:14,230
Hanging out at the mall, making fun of
the way people are dressed.

256
00:16:15,710 --> 00:16:18,110
I was simply trying to give people a few
pointers.

257
00:16:18,590 --> 00:16:22,570
Oh, yeah? Like when you yelled, Hey,
babe, you look great in paisley. It

258
00:16:22,570 --> 00:16:23,570
your complexion.

259
00:16:32,300 --> 00:16:34,520
I'm sorry, Heather. Your complexion's
fine.

260
00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:35,720
Thank you.

261
00:16:35,860 --> 00:16:37,940
What are we going to do about those
hips?

262
00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:43,720
Oh, hi, honey. Look who's here.

263
00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:45,620
Hello, George.

264
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,000
Hi.

265
00:16:49,700 --> 00:16:51,080
So what brings you by?

266
00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:54,880
Oh, nothing much. I just wanted to drop
off a little paperwork.

267
00:16:56,200 --> 00:17:01,180
And tell your delightful wife about our
plans for dinner tomorrow night. I'm so

268
00:17:01,180 --> 00:17:04,540
sorry I can't make it, but I have an
appointment with a client in Harrisburg.

269
00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:07,980
Oh, I can always make it some other
time. Oh, no, no, no, no. Don't be

270
00:17:08,079 --> 00:17:09,619
You two, you just go on ahead.

271
00:17:10,740 --> 00:17:14,740
Anyway, I have some paperwork of my own
to do, so it was very nice meeting you,

272
00:17:14,740 --> 00:17:16,400
Barbara. You too, Marsha.

273
00:17:25,869 --> 00:17:27,970
Your wife is very attractive, George.

274
00:17:28,730 --> 00:17:31,970
Thanks. Maybe we can find a place for
her on the show.

275
00:17:32,970 --> 00:17:35,930
How does Marsha the legal lady sound?

276
00:17:37,910 --> 00:17:38,950
What are you doing here?

277
00:17:39,150 --> 00:17:42,190
Oh, come on. Don't be such a grumpy
puss.

278
00:17:43,490 --> 00:17:44,910
Okay, that's it. I quit.

279
00:17:45,670 --> 00:17:49,450
Go get yourself a lifeguard or
something. But I'm going back to sports.

280
00:17:50,050 --> 00:17:50,969
Oh, really?

281
00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:52,390
Where? Altoona?

282
00:17:53,250 --> 00:17:55,670
Oh, look, if you expect to do sports...

283
00:17:56,970 --> 00:18:00,090
Else, in this town, you had better play
ball with me.

284
00:18:00,410 --> 00:18:01,830
Do I make myself clear?

285
00:18:02,370 --> 00:18:03,750
More coffee, Miss Collins?

286
00:18:04,050 --> 00:18:06,810
Oh, no, thank you. I was just leaving.

287
00:18:07,210 --> 00:18:09,970
Oh, George, see what you can do with
this guest list.

288
00:18:10,430 --> 00:18:12,130
We've had another cancellation.

289
00:18:12,690 --> 00:18:13,690
Good night.

290
00:18:14,210 --> 00:18:15,450
Oh, good night.

291
00:18:16,570 --> 00:18:17,570
Good night.

292
00:18:21,510 --> 00:18:22,790
She seems nice.

293
00:18:23,650 --> 00:18:25,250
What am I going to do, Belvedere?

294
00:18:25,590 --> 00:18:28,350
If I don't hit her sheets tomorrow
night, I'll be hitting the bricks the

295
00:18:28,350 --> 00:18:29,350
morning.

296
00:18:29,470 --> 00:18:32,050
That certainly is a problem.

297
00:18:32,810 --> 00:18:33,810
Yeah, I am.

298
00:18:35,010 --> 00:18:40,910
And if I were in your shoes, I would
simply try to deal with one problem at a

299
00:18:40,910 --> 00:18:41,910
time.

300
00:18:42,750 --> 00:18:45,010
I think we should stop for the guest
list.

301
00:18:49,310 --> 00:18:50,249
Morning, Barb.

302
00:18:50,250 --> 00:18:53,810
You were looking for me? Yeah, I got
this morning's breakdown. We don't have

303
00:18:53,810 --> 00:18:55,220
guests. Oh, sure we do.

304
00:18:55,420 --> 00:18:58,700
I got a great show all lined up, just
like you told me to. All?

305
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:00,000
Who'd we get?

306
00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:01,180
It's a surprise.

307
00:19:01,420 --> 00:19:03,560
Kind of a theme show dedicated just to
you.

308
00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:05,500
Really?

309
00:19:05,660 --> 00:19:09,380
I just wanted to do something to show my
appreciation for all you've done for me

310
00:19:09,380 --> 00:19:10,980
and all I'm about to do to you.

311
00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:14,420
Oh, I like the sound of that.

312
00:19:15,820 --> 00:19:17,160
One minute, Miss Thomas.

313
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:19,900
We'll finish this later.

314
00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:29,520
Barbara Collins Show.

315
00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:32,920
Now, normally, this is where I tell you
who my guests are going to be.

316
00:19:33,220 --> 00:19:34,220
But you know what?

317
00:19:34,420 --> 00:19:35,640
I haven't got a clue.

318
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:40,740
But I think this rascal here has got
something up his sleeve.

319
00:19:42,020 --> 00:19:46,500
Ladies and gentlemen, my co -host,
George Owens.

320
00:19:47,860 --> 00:19:49,160
Ah, thanks, Barbara.

321
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:55,480
You know, you've been an institution
here in Pittsburgh for 15 fabulous

322
00:19:55,980 --> 00:20:00,090
And I thought, Wouldn't it be great to
take a look back with a few special

323
00:20:00,090 --> 00:20:04,730
friends and show the people out there
what Barbara Collins is really like?

324
00:20:04,950 --> 00:20:07,670
Oh, George, I don't know what to say.

325
00:20:08,010 --> 00:20:14,130
Oh, you just wait, Barbara Collins,
because this is your sex life.

326
00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:33,820
Oh, my God. Steve Savage, aerobics
instructor, co -host, 85,

327
00:20:34,420 --> 00:20:35,420
86.

328
00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:42,980
What the hell do you think you're doing?

329
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:03,340
contract. Anything, I'll type it up
myself.

330
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:11,200
Okay, folks, we're going to take a short
break, but don't go away

331
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:12,700
because we're coming right back.

332
00:21:33,420 --> 00:21:37,000
outfit at Burger Town, so he decked me.
I guess when it comes to clothes, I

333
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:38,000
learned my lesson.

334
00:21:38,460 --> 00:21:40,120
You mean that's all that it took?

335
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:44,180
I could have done that.

336
00:21:45,060 --> 00:21:46,840
So why are we dressed like this?

337
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,440
I don't know, but you guys look pretty
stupid.

338
00:22:11,340 --> 00:22:14,100
Mr. Report, George is now happily back
at the sports desk.

339
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:16,160
His fidelity is still intact.

340
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:22,080
As for Miss Collins, last I heard, she
was the new host of Good Morning

341
00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:27,680
Scranton. I wish the male population of
that fine city all the luck in the

342
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,600
world. They'll need it.

343
00:22:30,900 --> 00:22:36,200
As for Wesley, he finally learned that
clothes indeed do not make the man.

344
00:22:36,900 --> 00:22:39,420
Although if you wear the right outfit
long enough...

345
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:41,120
It will change you a little.

346
00:23:17,230 --> 00:23:21,310
I'm Ted Koppel. Later on Nightline, when
you have them, you take them for

347
00:23:21,310 --> 00:23:25,170
granted. When you don't, they become the
most critical thing in your life. Our

348
00:23:25,170 --> 00:23:26,770
focus tonight, human rights.

349
00:23:27,450 --> 00:23:31,990
Tomorrow on ABC's College Basketball,
the UNLV running Rebels take on the

350
00:23:31,990 --> 00:23:33,990
Arizona Wildcats live at one.

351
00:23:47,150 --> 00:23:48,350
and sign the consent form so I can go.

352
00:23:49,070 --> 00:23:50,490
Back to Pluto, I hope.

353
00:23:52,450 --> 00:23:55,210
Angela and I want to help the homeless
in Pittsburgh, so we're going to

354
00:23:55,210 --> 00:23:56,410
volunteer to shelter downtown.

355
00:23:56,850 --> 00:23:58,710
Uh -huh. Yeah, we're going to cook them
breakfast.

356
00:23:59,130 --> 00:24:01,310
I thought you wanted to help the
homeless, not kill them.

357
00:24:02,630 --> 00:24:05,590
I think what you're doing is very
laudable. Well, we both have been very

358
00:24:05,590 --> 00:24:06,590
fortunate.