1
00:00:01,100 --> 00:00:05,240
Oh. Well, this is a story about a guy
named Al, and he lived in a sewer with

2
00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:08,600
master pal. But the sanitation workers
really didn't approve, so he packed up

3
00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:12,500
his accordion and had to move to a city
in Ohio where he lived in a tree. And he

4
00:00:12,500 --> 00:00:15,780
worked in a nasal deconjection factory,
and he played on the company bowling

5
00:00:15,780 --> 00:00:18,660
team. And every single night he had a
French occurring dream where he was

6
00:00:18,660 --> 00:00:21,440
wearing leader holes and in a vat of
sour cream. But that's really not

7
00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:22,398
in the story.

8
00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:25,980
Well, the very next year he met a dental
hygienist with a special attitude on

9
00:00:25,980 --> 00:00:26,939
her arm.

10
00:00:26,940 --> 00:00:30,560
But he didn't even touch any lobster
number. Then he got a public job on a

11
00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:31,468
tot farm.

12
00:00:31,470 --> 00:00:33,510
Outro

13
00:00:33,510 --> 00:00:53,950
Music

14
00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:18,580
Today's lesson is, whenever you're in
any type of competition, it's always

15
00:01:18,580 --> 00:01:20,740
important to PLAY FAIR!

16
00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:34,380
Oh, hi there. I'm just getting my
fortune told by Madam Judy the psychic.

17
00:01:34,700 --> 00:01:35,740
This will just take effect.

18
00:01:36,580 --> 00:01:38,540
Madam Judy demands quiet!

19
00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:42,360
I will now predict the present!

20
00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:44,470
The present? Quiet!

21
00:01:44,750 --> 00:01:46,210
Madam Judy must concentrate!

22
00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:48,190
Oh,

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00:01:48,390 --> 00:01:53,030
I see that you are wearing a green
shirt.

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00:01:53,770 --> 00:01:55,110
Uh, no.

25
00:01:55,610 --> 00:01:56,730
Wait, Al!

26
00:01:57,090 --> 00:01:58,150
Laying on a pen!

27
00:02:02,250 --> 00:02:04,610
Look, can't you just tell me something
about my future?

28
00:02:04,950 --> 00:02:06,070
No details!

29
00:02:06,810 --> 00:02:09,229
Only cryptic warnings.

30
00:02:09,690 --> 00:02:11,810
Okay, fine. Hit me with a cryptic
warning.

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00:02:15,690 --> 00:02:16,690
Oh, beware.

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00:02:16,810 --> 00:02:17,810
Beware.

33
00:02:18,330 --> 00:02:21,770
Beware of toads who don't play fair.

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00:02:23,350 --> 00:02:24,350
That's it?

35
00:02:24,410 --> 00:02:26,150
No! Five bucks, please.

36
00:02:28,430 --> 00:02:33,470
Oh, I now predict that Madam Judy is
leaving you.

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00:02:33,710 --> 00:02:34,770
Oh, goodbye.

38
00:02:35,250 --> 00:02:36,870
Goodbye. Goodbye.

39
00:02:37,510 --> 00:02:39,470
Wow, for once she was actually right.

40
00:02:40,110 --> 00:02:44,470
Well, anyway, I can tell by the old
clock on the wall that once again it's

41
00:02:44,470 --> 00:02:45,470
for...

42
00:02:49,740 --> 00:02:51,040
Al's mailbag, that's right.

43
00:02:51,420 --> 00:02:55,200
Well, let's see what our viewers have to
say this week.

44
00:02:59,340 --> 00:03:01,080
Ah, hey.

45
00:03:01,820 --> 00:03:05,800
I've got a letter here from Mindy
Grotelution in Omaha, Nebraska.

46
00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:11,480
And Mindy writes, oh, it's an answer to
our trivia question. The question was,

47
00:03:11,700 --> 00:03:15,300
what's the difference between a machine
gun and Kenny G?

48
00:03:15,700 --> 00:03:16,720
Let's see if she got it.

49
00:03:17,340 --> 00:03:23,160
Yes, a machine gun only repeats itself
30 times. Congratulations, Mindy. You

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00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:25,440
win. My undying respect.

51
00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:27,680
Okay, next letter.

52
00:03:31,620 --> 00:03:32,620
Thank you.

53
00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:35,700
Wow. Special delivery.

54
00:03:37,900 --> 00:03:38,900
Okay.

55
00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:44,320
Wow! Can you believe it? Harvey, look at
this. Oh.

56
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:48,140
I've been nominated for the Best TV Show
Host Award.

57
00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:50,180
Oh, isn't this great? This is so cool.

58
00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:54,940
I probably won't win, but it's an honor
just to be nominated, right?

59
00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:58,040
Did you hear something?

60
00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:02,060
Yeah. Oh, it's the guy boarded up on the
wall.

61
00:04:03,380 --> 00:04:05,180
Excuse me, Harvey. The public wants me.

62
00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:08,440
Hey, guy boarded up on the wall. What's
going on?

63
00:04:08,810 --> 00:04:10,530
Uh, can you do me a big favor?

64
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:11,930
A favor? Sure!

65
00:04:12,270 --> 00:04:13,270
You want an autograph?

66
00:04:13,650 --> 00:04:14,910
A lock of my hair?

67
00:04:15,230 --> 00:04:17,250
A bag of my toenail clippings?

68
00:04:17,529 --> 00:04:18,469
Uh, no.

69
00:04:18,470 --> 00:04:19,649
Could you turn on the TV?

70
00:04:19,850 --> 00:04:21,209
I'm missing the Fred Huggins show.

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00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:23,270
Fred Huggins?

72
00:04:23,590 --> 00:04:26,070
Oh. Well, okay.

73
00:04:26,450 --> 00:04:27,450
Thanks.

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00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:36,430
Because it really doesn't matter if
you're blue or red or green or yellow.

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00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:38,600
We can all be friends.

76
00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:40,380
Right, Papa Bully?

77
00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:41,640
Yeah, whatever.

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00:04:41,780 --> 00:04:46,420
I think his medication's starting to
wear off. All righty. Hello, boys and

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00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:50,780
girls. I'm Fred Huggins, and this is the
Fred Huggins Show.

80
00:04:51,100 --> 00:04:55,180
Imagine that. Well, why don't we all get
comfortable and take off some of these

81
00:04:55,180 --> 00:04:56,280
heavy clothes?

82
00:04:56,860 --> 00:04:57,860
What? What?

83
00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:02,100
I'll start with my little shoosie
-woosie. Oh, no.

84
00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:04,840
Anything but that. No! Please, stop!

85
00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:06,480
Oh,

86
00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:08,300
that's better, isn't it?

87
00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:15,520
Fred Huggins, what a joke.

88
00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:17,400
Let's see what else is on.

89
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,980
I want you all to just shake it out.

90
00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:26,980
That's right, shake it out. Get yourself
all limber and loosey -goosey. That's

91
00:05:26,980 --> 00:05:28,520
right. I said shake it out.

92
00:05:30,060 --> 00:05:33,640
That's right. You don't want to be
exercising too soon, too fast.

93
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,000
You're liable to.

94
00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:55,520
We're back with the Uncle Ralphie Show.

95
00:05:55,740 --> 00:05:57,480
Aren't we having the time of our lives?

96
00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:00,080
Miffy? Pipe down, Miffy.

97
00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:05,000
On a slightly more serious note, I would
like to thank all of my wonderful fans

98
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,640
for nominating me for Best TV Show Host.

99
00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:12,000
When I win that award, and I will win, I
want you all to remember that I never

100
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,840
could have done it without the help of
all the little people that I had to step

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00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:15,840
on to get where I am today.

102
00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:17,600
Well, why don't we go to the phone?

103
00:06:20,940 --> 00:06:22,440
Uncle Ralphie Show, you're on the air.

104
00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:24,440
Hi, I'm a first -time caller?

105
00:06:24,820 --> 00:06:25,820
Yes, you have a question.

106
00:06:27,630 --> 00:06:29,110
Pretty sure you're going to win that
award.

107
00:06:29,370 --> 00:06:30,570
Yeah, well, why wouldn't I?

108
00:06:31,690 --> 00:06:36,230
Well, I think there are some other
wonderful TV show hosts out there that

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00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:37,530
good chance of winning, too.

110
00:06:37,910 --> 00:06:40,890
Yeah, right, like that loser Weird Al.

111
00:06:42,190 --> 00:06:43,750
I am not a loser!

112
00:06:43,990 --> 00:06:44,990
You!

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00:06:45,390 --> 00:06:49,030
Oh, I get it. You're trying to sabotage
my show. That's not fair!

114
00:06:49,390 --> 00:06:53,170
I never... I was merely pointing out
that you haven't won yet.

115
00:06:53,410 --> 00:06:54,369
Well, I will!

116
00:06:54,370 --> 00:06:55,890
I'm going to be number one!

117
00:06:56,270 --> 00:06:58,410
No, I'm... I'm gonna be number one! No!

118
00:06:58,690 --> 00:07:02,610
Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!
Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!

119
00:07:02,610 --> 00:07:02,610
Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!
Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!

120
00:07:02,610 --> 00:07:03,409
Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!
Me! Me! Me!

121
00:07:03,410 --> 00:07:05,070
Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!
Me! Me! Me! Me!

122
00:07:06,890 --> 00:07:07,590
Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!
Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!

123
00:07:07,590 --> 00:07:07,949
Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!
Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!

124
00:07:07,950 --> 00:07:08,950
Me!

125
00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:11,330
Me!

126
00:07:17,410 --> 00:07:18,950
Me! Me!

127
00:07:20,310 --> 00:07:21,310
Me

128
00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:27,080
I want you to keep an eye on Uncle
Ralphie. You know, get some inside info

129
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:29,020
him. I think he's liable to pull
something.

130
00:07:29,260 --> 00:07:30,260
You got it, Al.

131
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:33,200
Oh,

132
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:37,200
and another thing, I... Oh, she's good.

133
00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:41,860
Anyway, I'm probably just being
paranoid. I mean, I'm sure Uncle Ralphie

134
00:07:41,860 --> 00:07:42,860
wouldn't...

135
00:07:58,830 --> 00:08:00,870
Nobody says that about my pal!

136
00:08:01,370 --> 00:08:02,910
That's it! This is war!

137
00:08:03,210 --> 00:08:05,310
You're going down, Uncle Ralphie!

138
00:08:07,090 --> 00:08:11,650
We'll be right back. That marching band
has Al playing an angry tune. But is

139
00:08:11,650 --> 00:08:14,350
destroying the competition really the
best way to win?

140
00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:16,390
Don't go away!

141
00:08:16,610 --> 00:08:18,090
We'll be right back!

142
00:08:21,190 --> 00:08:23,990
Can you believe it? The Weird Al Show is
back!

143
00:08:27,010 --> 00:08:30,010
Wow. Who doesn't love a good marching
band?

144
00:08:30,270 --> 00:08:33,510
Nobody. Except maybe that loser, Weird
Al.

145
00:08:37,289 --> 00:08:41,970
Bullseye! And now two very special
treats. First, buttered popcorn for

146
00:08:41,970 --> 00:08:43,590
everybody. Here's the popcorn.

147
00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:03,760
And now for the real treat. Please
welcome an act so special they would

148
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,300
agree to do my show.

149
00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:06,900
Here they are.

150
00:09:07,700 --> 00:09:08,700
Radish!

151
00:09:17,540 --> 00:09:18,540
Ha!

152
00:09:19,620 --> 00:09:23,060
Look at that, Harvey. They're a no
-show. They canceled on him.

153
00:09:23,340 --> 00:09:24,840
Oh, that's beautiful.

154
00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:28,860
Gee, wonder why they'd go and do a thing
like that.

155
00:09:30,230 --> 00:09:32,230
Radish? What are you guys doing here?

156
00:09:33,130 --> 00:09:34,790
Val, what did you do?

157
00:09:35,490 --> 00:09:40,690
No, no, don't you look at me like that,
Al. This is war.

158
00:09:41,570 --> 00:09:42,570
Remember?

159
00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:44,510
Yeah, I guess you're right.

160
00:09:45,950 --> 00:09:50,730
So, Radish, what song will you be
performing on my show today?

161
00:09:51,310 --> 00:09:52,350
You're crazy.

162
00:09:54,090 --> 00:09:56,510
Oh, come on. Sing a song.

163
00:09:57,050 --> 00:10:00,380
Please? You're completely out of your
mind. Pretty please?

164
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:03,120
We're not doing your stupid show. You
kidnapped us.

165
00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:05,260
I see. I see.

166
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:09,740
Well, then maybe you'd like to watch The
Collected Works of Pauly Shore.

167
00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:11,400
No!

168
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,940
Any particular song you want to hear?

169
00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:16,320
Oh.

170
00:10:18,900 --> 00:10:19,960
Surprise me.

171
00:10:49,820 --> 00:10:53,320
Wishing God would lend a hand.

172
00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:59,640
Wishing God would lend a hand. Wishing
God would lend a hand.

173
00:11:00,100 --> 00:11:05,700
Wishing God would lend a hand.

174
00:11:16,330 --> 00:11:17,330
Take it real.

175
00:11:55,440 --> 00:12:01,340
While the ocean at my heel Is

176
00:12:01,340 --> 00:12:08,240
a water field Up

177
00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:14,920
in the sky, something catches my eye
Bright as a

178
00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:16,640
star in the northern sky

179
00:12:27,820 --> 00:12:28,820
Take it.

180
00:13:17,710 --> 00:13:18,710
Yeah, yeah.

181
00:13:35,970 --> 00:13:37,010
Hey, Al.

182
00:13:37,470 --> 00:13:38,470
They're getting away.

183
00:13:38,950 --> 00:13:40,070
Don't worry about it.

184
00:13:40,770 --> 00:13:42,890
Hey, kids. I'm Weird Ralph.

185
00:13:43,530 --> 00:13:44,910
What are they doing?

186
00:13:45,260 --> 00:13:50,080
And now here's everyone's favorite
rodent, my very, very best friend in the

187
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:53,380
whole world, Marvin the Super Guinea
Pig.

188
00:13:56,060 --> 00:14:02,700
How awful. How heartless. How could
anyone think so low as to do a parody of

189
00:14:02,700 --> 00:14:03,760
another human being?

190
00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:08,380
And making a guinea pig wear blue after
Labor Day? What are they thinking?

191
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:13,120
Hey, Al, have you seen Weird Ralph? This
guy's a hoot.

192
00:14:13,380 --> 00:14:14,580
I'll do any...

193
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:16,660
Best TV show host award.

194
00:14:16,900 --> 00:14:17,900
Any advice?

195
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:22,680
Yes. If you're going to compete with
Uncle Ralphie, play fair.

196
00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:25,840
The important thing is you just do the
best show you can do.

197
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:30,580
Hey, I've got it. How about if I get a
bunch of plastic surgery and change my

198
00:14:30,580 --> 00:14:31,580
looks?

199
00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:33,200
Um, yeah.

200
00:14:34,180 --> 00:14:36,240
That would have been my second choice.

201
00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:42,520
Well, it's a good thing my brand new
invention is an instant plastic surgery

202
00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:43,520
machine.

203
00:14:43,790 --> 00:14:46,510
I knew the thing would come in handy in
a pinch. Let's give it a shot.

204
00:14:53,530 --> 00:14:54,530
Where's that mirror?

205
00:14:56,090 --> 00:14:57,610
Oh, no! What have I done?

206
00:14:59,370 --> 00:15:06,110
That was scary.

207
00:15:07,450 --> 00:15:10,250
Hey, where'd this package come from?

208
00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:16,200
Some suspicious -looking clown snuck in
here and set it on a table real careful,

209
00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:18,580
like... Wow, package from a clown?

210
00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:19,880
How cool is that?

211
00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:22,760
Wow!

212
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,660
Giant wax lips!

213
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,580
Just what I always wanted!

214
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,560
And they're... kicking.

215
00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:48,020
the last time Al takes any lift from
Uncle Ralphie. But will Uncle Ralphie's

216
00:15:48,020 --> 00:15:49,900
dirty tricks blow up in his face?

217
00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:52,260
Hold your horses!

218
00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:53,860
We'll be right back!

219
00:15:56,700 --> 00:15:57,720
All right!

220
00:15:58,080 --> 00:15:59,960
The Weird Al Show is back!

221
00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:04,020
Uncle Ralphie's gone way too far!

222
00:16:04,340 --> 00:16:06,900
If he's not going to play fair, then
neither am I!

223
00:16:07,220 --> 00:16:11,380
Val, I'm going to ask you to do
something, and I don't want to hear an

224
00:16:12,390 --> 00:16:14,790
Execute secret plan 7B.

225
00:16:15,570 --> 00:16:22,570
Not 7B. Yes, 7B. I can't. You must. But
I can't. You must. No, I can't. You

226
00:16:22,570 --> 00:16:23,570
never told me what it was.

227
00:16:23,890 --> 00:16:24,890
Oh.

228
00:16:25,850 --> 00:16:26,850
Got it.

229
00:16:29,110 --> 00:16:31,310
Weasel boy, this is Mother Hubbard.

230
00:16:31,770 --> 00:16:34,150
Release the poodles.

231
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:41,300
This requires the utmost concentration.

232
00:16:42,060 --> 00:16:45,260
We sure don't want any miscalculations
now, do we, Mippy?

233
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:53,460
That's right, because even the slightest
distraction... Oh,

234
00:16:53,460 --> 00:16:54,460
no!

235
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:03,080
That's a good one.

236
00:17:03,340 --> 00:17:05,760
You know, all this espionage is making
me kind of hungry.

237
00:17:06,220 --> 00:17:09,240
Think I'll pop out to the kitchen for a
little nutrition break. Care to join me,

238
00:17:09,260 --> 00:17:10,219
Val?

239
00:17:10,220 --> 00:17:11,220
Val?

240
00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:13,240
She's a slippery one, all right.

241
00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:19,839
Anyway... Here's one of my favorite
recipes.

242
00:17:20,420 --> 00:17:22,140
First, take a raw potato.

243
00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:23,700
Don't wash it!

244
00:17:24,099 --> 00:17:26,680
Next, cut it in half with a blunt knife.

245
00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:29,620
Then, sprinkle liberally with gummy
worms.

246
00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:33,380
And finally, top with your favorite
brand of India ink.

247
00:17:34,670 --> 00:17:36,050
Mmm, now that's good eating.

248
00:17:40,050 --> 00:17:45,290
Somebody switched my favorite brand of
ink with my very least favorite brand of

249
00:17:45,290 --> 00:17:48,990
ink. Who could have done such a
horrible, despicable thing?

250
00:17:50,530 --> 00:17:51,910
Uncle Ralphie!

251
00:17:52,370 --> 00:17:53,610
Ow! Ow!

252
00:17:53,950 --> 00:17:54,950
Ow!

253
00:17:55,250 --> 00:17:56,690
What? What is it?

254
00:17:57,350 --> 00:18:01,610
Can't you see I'm busy plotting the
annihilation of a fellow TV show host?

255
00:18:01,610 --> 00:18:02,670
award show is on.

256
00:18:03,390 --> 00:18:05,090
What a word show. And you're not there.

257
00:18:05,490 --> 00:18:06,530
Oh, man, you're right.

258
00:18:06,750 --> 00:18:10,010
I got so wrapped up in this whole Uncle
Ralphie thing, I forgot all about it.

259
00:18:13,170 --> 00:18:14,170
Thank you.

260
00:18:14,630 --> 00:18:18,870
And now, without further ado, the moment
you've been waiting for.

261
00:18:19,130 --> 00:18:20,950
May I have the envelope, please?

262
00:18:22,010 --> 00:18:22,989
Thank you.

263
00:18:22,990 --> 00:18:28,070
And now the winner of the Best TV Show
Host Award goes to...

264
00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:34,460
But before I announce the winner, I just
want to say something.

265
00:18:35,060 --> 00:18:41,020
Every day in our country, thousands of
our youngsters go to amusement parks and

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00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:46,520
arcades and play a supposedly innocent
game called Whack a Squirrel.

267
00:18:46,940 --> 00:18:53,900
Well, I personally don't find anything
cute, charming, or fun about a game that

268
00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:58,160
openly encourages abuse and violence
towards our furry rodent.

269
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:03,280
Will you please stop the insanity?

270
00:19:04,540 --> 00:19:05,540
Thank you.

271
00:19:06,540 --> 00:19:07,640
Now, where was I?

272
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:09,040
Oh, yes!

273
00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:15,740
The winner of the Best TV Show Host
Award is... Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!

274
00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:20,040
Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!
Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!

275
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:21,040
Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!
Me!

276
00:19:21,780 --> 00:19:22,980
Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!
Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!

277
00:19:22,980 --> 00:19:23,100
Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!
Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!

278
00:19:23,100 --> 00:19:23,739
Me! Me!

279
00:19:23,740 --> 00:19:24,359
Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!
Me! Me!

280
00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:25,360
Me!

281
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:26,640
Me!

282
00:19:27,180 --> 00:19:28,720
Me! Me!

283
00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:30,160
Me

284
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:45,540
I can't believe I won.

285
00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:53,840
The only thing that makes winning even
better is that my two best friends in

286
00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:56,040
world are here to share it with me.

287
00:19:56,300 --> 00:19:57,820
Guess again, you freak.

288
00:19:58,220 --> 00:20:04,860
I want to go home. I just want to say
this is the proudest moment of my

289
00:20:04,860 --> 00:20:11,200
life because now I know you like me. You
really want me.

290
00:20:16,650 --> 00:20:19,570
I blame you, Mippy.

291
00:20:20,770 --> 00:20:21,930
What'll it be first?

292
00:20:22,690 --> 00:20:23,690
Injury again?

293
00:20:24,270 --> 00:20:25,690
Or jury duty?

294
00:20:31,170 --> 00:20:37,890
You know, it's real

295
00:20:37,890 --> 00:20:39,530
whack you didn't win that award out.

296
00:20:39,790 --> 00:20:43,690
Well, Fred Huggins is pretty lame, but
at least he played by the rules.

297
00:20:44,300 --> 00:20:47,260
I've just been spending all my time
trying to destroy Uncle Ralphie.

298
00:20:47,700 --> 00:20:50,660
Well, you just wait. Next year, I'll
beat everybody.

299
00:20:51,220 --> 00:20:56,360
But I'll do it fair and square, on the
level, straight as an arrow, by making

300
00:20:56,360 --> 00:20:57,960
show the very best it can be.

301
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,440
And I know exactly how I'm going to do
it!

302
00:21:07,740 --> 00:21:11,160
Don't go away, or you'll regret it for
the rest of your life!

303
00:21:15,950 --> 00:21:16,950
Did you miss me?

304
00:21:18,930 --> 00:21:23,950
And now, presenting my very best friend
in the whole stinking world, Harvey the

305
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:25,170
Wonder Hamster! Yay!

306
00:21:25,990 --> 00:21:26,990
How you doing, pal?

307
00:21:27,130 --> 00:21:28,130
You ready for a big stunt?

308
00:21:28,670 --> 00:21:32,370
Okay, today Harvey is going to hang the
line from Mount Everest.

309
00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:33,709
You ready?

310
00:21:33,710 --> 00:21:34,830
Okay, here we go!

311
00:21:49,409 --> 00:21:50,790
Oh, Harvey's the best.

312
00:21:51,130 --> 00:21:52,530
He's way better than mediocre.

313
00:21:53,210 --> 00:21:57,810
Anyway, it looks like the end of the
show because, well, that's what it is.

314
00:21:57,810 --> 00:22:02,010
until next time, keep your feet on the
ground, keep your chin held high, and

315
00:22:02,010 --> 00:22:05,130
keep an extra pair of safety goggles
handy because you never know when an

316
00:22:05,130 --> 00:22:07,530
interdimensional black hole is going
to... No!