1 00:00:01,760 --> 00:00:03,600 You got a baby coming. 2 00:00:03,680 --> 00:00:05,000 A car seat just won't fit. 3 00:00:05,020 --> 00:00:07,080 We tried it on the turnpike with a watermelon. 4 00:00:07,210 --> 00:00:10,400 If it's okay, Lou, I'd like a few moments alone with her. 5 00:00:10,460 --> 00:00:14,940 ♪ ♪ 6 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:18,820 That's a 30-footer. 7 00:00:18,860 --> 00:00:20,100 35. 8 00:00:20,180 --> 00:00:21,979 Calvin, General Manager 9 00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,440 of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Motors. 10 00:00:23,500 --> 00:00:25,499 Oh, I get it. 11 00:00:25,500 --> 00:00:26,699 Like the NBA legend. 12 00:00:26,700 --> 00:00:28,940 You guys are just copying Shaq Motors across town. 13 00:00:28,980 --> 00:00:31,140 No, no. He's copying me. 14 00:00:32,740 --> 00:00:34,240 Always has. 15 00:00:34,500 --> 00:00:37,360 I'm a Laker center. He's a Laker center. 16 00:00:37,500 --> 00:00:40,280 I buy a car lot. He buys a car lot. 17 00:00:40,860 --> 00:00:42,620 I star in a movie. 18 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:46,040 He stars in... "Shazam." 19 00:00:46,140 --> 00:00:47,320 It was "Kazaam." 20 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:48,900 I got this, Melvin. 21 00:00:48,980 --> 00:00:50,240 It's Calvin. 22 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:51,916 Kareem, I didn't know you owned a car lot. 23 00:00:51,940 --> 00:00:53,460 I come down here every so often 24 00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:54,660 to make sure things are going right. 25 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:56,179 Oh, yeah. It's a real morale boost 26 00:00:56,180 --> 00:00:59,180 for those that work here the other 360 days a year. 27 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:00,699 Morale was boosted pretty high 28 00:01:00,700 --> 00:01:02,360 when I dropped those 50 skyhooks 29 00:01:02,420 --> 00:01:04,600 on your co-ed recreation-league game. 30 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:06,540 Still didn't play no defense. 31 00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:08,620 So, you interested in this RV? 32 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:10,320 Oh. Oh, no. I'm just, uh, 33 00:01:10,340 --> 00:01:11,880 helping my friend trade in his car. 34 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:15,240 Long may you run, Cherry. 35 00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:17,440 Long may you run. 36 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:23,430 Well, look, why don't we just go for a test drive? 37 00:01:23,460 --> 00:01:26,590 I don't know. 38 00:01:29,420 --> 00:01:30,740 All the comforts of home, 39 00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:33,400 except your address is Adventure, USA. 40 00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:36,340 I have always wanted to take the family out on the pavement, 41 00:01:36,420 --> 00:01:38,680 road-trip it like one of those families on TV. 42 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:40,400 Close your eyes, Louis. 43 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:43,620 Turn the keys. Embark. 44 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:48,480 ♪ Everywhere you look ♪ 45 00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:49,540 ♪ Everywhere you go ♪ 46 00:01:49,580 --> 00:01:50,580 ♪ There's a heart ♪ 47 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:51,640 ♪ There's a heart ♪ 48 00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:53,880 ♪ A hand to hold onto ♪ 49 00:01:53,900 --> 00:01:55,900 ♪ Everywhere you look ♪ 50 00:01:55,940 --> 00:01:56,959 ♪ Everywhere you go ♪ 51 00:01:56,960 --> 00:02:01,320 ♪ There's a face of somebody who needs you ♪ 52 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:03,880 ♪ Everywhere you look ♪ 53 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:06,140 ♪ When you're lost out there ♪ 54 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:08,200 ♪ And you're all alone ♪ 55 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:12,660 ♪ A light is waiting to carry you home ♪ 56 00:02:12,780 --> 00:02:15,400 ♪ Everywhere you look ♪ 57 00:02:16,900 --> 00:02:19,620 ♪ Everywhere you look ♪ 58 00:02:19,700 --> 00:02:23,139 ♪ Shoo-ba-doo-ba-baba-dow ♪ 59 00:02:23,140 --> 00:02:26,080 The Huangs across America. 60 00:02:26,220 --> 00:02:28,840 So, cash? Or how does this work? 61 00:02:28,890 --> 00:02:30,020 Louis! 62 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:32,360 Honey's in labor! Sh... Hey. 63 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,520 The co-pilot from "Airplane." 64 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:36,400 C-Come on! We gotta go! 65 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,400 This close to a sale. 66 00:02:40,540 --> 00:02:42,850 - Synced and corrected by MementMori - -- 00:03:31,999 Oh, gosh. 92 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,540 Already? I almost forgot. 93 00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:36,260 You did send birth announcements to the entire HOA. 94 00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:38,400 Oh, that was a joke. 95 00:03:38,420 --> 00:03:41,340 Of course I don't think my book is an actual baby... 96 00:03:41,740 --> 00:03:44,080 though I did spend more than nine months on it. 97 00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:45,900 What did you mean by "deedle-doo"? 98 00:03:49,410 --> 00:03:50,940 So, about your baby sister... 99 00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:53,440 No, we're not naming her "Jamiroquai." 100 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:55,380 Alright. We'll circle back to this in a week 101 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:56,576 when you're not so close to it. 102 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:58,620 Yeah, about that. 103 00:03:58,660 --> 00:04:00,320 We need to have a talk. 104 00:04:00,700 --> 00:04:02,140 A Saturn talk. 105 00:04:02,420 --> 00:04:03,760 Whoa. 106 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:06,960 Saturn secure. 107 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,900 What happens in here stays in here. 108 00:04:08,990 --> 00:04:10,030 Shoot. 109 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:12,919 I'm moving to New York with my mom, 110 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,530 and I got into this school that teaches fashion, 111 00:04:14,540 --> 00:04:16,270 and I don't think I can pass it up. 112 00:04:17,900 --> 00:04:20,380 Sorry. I know this sucks. 113 00:04:20,980 --> 00:04:23,070 That's... 114 00:04:23,110 --> 00:04:24,360 awesome! 115 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:26,920 - It is? - Totally! New York City? 116 00:04:26,980 --> 00:04:28,399 You can chill out in the park, 117 00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:29,979 order pizzas at 3:00 a.m., 118 00:04:29,980 --> 00:04:32,160 and Beastie Boys songs will make a lot more sense now. 119 00:04:32,260 --> 00:04:33,880 Why is there no sleep till Brooklyn? 120 00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,690 Well, you're about to find out. 121 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:37,420 Wow. I thought this talk 122 00:04:37,430 --> 00:04:38,720 was gonna be a whole lot tougher. 123 00:04:38,740 --> 00:04:41,520 Please. You know me better than that. What? 124 00:04:41,580 --> 00:04:43,790 Did you think I was gonna start crying or something? 125 00:04:49,300 --> 00:04:51,500 ♪ Happy Book Day to you ♪ 126 00:04:51,540 --> 00:04:53,300 ♪ Happy Book Day to you ♪ 127 00:04:53,340 --> 00:04:54,350 ♪ Happy... ♪ 128 00:04:54,380 --> 00:04:55,960 I have a reading for my novel today, 129 00:04:55,980 --> 00:04:58,100 and I need to decide on a passage. 130 00:04:59,380 --> 00:05:02,800 "Snap! And suddenly the only sound was the rope, 131 00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:04,419 creaking under his weight 132 00:05:04,420 --> 00:05:06,420 and the fading pendulum scrape 133 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:10,120 of his steel-toe boots against the hickory planks." 134 00:05:10,150 --> 00:05:11,150 Powerful. 135 00:05:11,220 --> 00:05:12,639 Do you like that passage 136 00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:15,200 or the one where they find the paperboy's bloody bike? 137 00:05:15,260 --> 00:05:17,700 Hmm, tough call. They're both great. 138 00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:18,760 Uh, where is this reading? 139 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:19,820 The bookstore. 140 00:05:19,850 --> 00:05:21,999 My publisher thinks it might help boost sales, 141 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,739 which could lead to TV spots, 142 00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,960 a book tour... maybe even Oprah. 143 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,700 The Big "O." 144 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:29,899 I-I mean, "big" like a star. 145 00:05:29,900 --> 00:05:31,340 She actually looks great now. 146 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:33,340 And she did before, too. 147 00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:35,200 Um, this is great. 148 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:37,160 Uh, I'll get the boys, and we'll all go to the reading. 149 00:05:37,180 --> 00:05:38,580 But it's my job. 150 00:05:38,700 --> 00:05:40,880 I don't go to the restaurant and stare at you. 151 00:05:40,900 --> 00:05:41,920 Remember? 152 00:05:41,940 --> 00:05:43,756 We found that it didn't improve your productivity. 153 00:05:43,780 --> 00:05:46,120 But this is your big day, and it'll be good for the boys. 154 00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:47,999 They learn by watching us, and they should see 155 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:49,180 how your hard work pays off. 156 00:05:49,260 --> 00:05:52,220 You would just be taking up space from actual book-buyers. 157 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:54,280 Plus, if I want to read the graphic sex scenes, 158 00:05:54,300 --> 00:05:56,970 I need to feel comfortable doing all the sound effects. 159 00:05:57,000 --> 00:06:00,509 ♪ ♪ 160 00:06:00,510 --> 00:06:02,120 _ 161 00:06:02,140 --> 00:06:04,100 "So You Wanna Be a Psychiatrist"? 162 00:06:04,180 --> 00:06:06,340 You know how I plan to become Doctor President. 163 00:06:06,380 --> 00:06:07,926 Well, I always assumed I'd be a surgeon. 164 00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:09,110 The respect... 165 00:06:09,150 --> 00:06:10,600 The mastery of fine motor skills... 166 00:06:10,660 --> 00:06:12,080 The ladies. 167 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:14,380 But after spending three hours in the hospital 168 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:15,750 visiting Honey's baby, 169 00:06:15,790 --> 00:06:17,100 I don't think I can stand the smell. 170 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:18,690 Can you mail a hot dog? 171 00:06:19,590 --> 00:06:21,059 I'm making a list of stuff I want Nicole 172 00:06:21,060 --> 00:06:22,380 to send me from New York... 173 00:06:22,460 --> 00:06:23,800 a Statue of Liberty lighter, 174 00:06:23,820 --> 00:06:25,980 whatever a knish is, a bullet. 175 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:28,040 Any ideas for her going-away gift? 176 00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:29,499 I'm always game to power-browse 177 00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:30,919 Things Remembered at the mall. 178 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:32,160 Why would I get her a gift? 179 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:33,900 Because she's your friend. 180 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:35,420 I have tons of friends. 181 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:36,590 I'm not trying to dole out prizes 182 00:06:36,610 --> 00:06:37,919 every time one of them skips town. 183 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:39,440 But Nicole is different. 184 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:41,150 Oh, because she's a chick? 185 00:06:41,180 --> 00:06:42,480 That's sexist, homey. 186 00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:45,150 No, I mean, you two are so close. 187 00:06:45,190 --> 00:06:46,400 Aren't you sad she's moving? 188 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:47,860 Sad? Pfft. 189 00:06:47,900 --> 00:06:49,140 She's only leaving for school, 190 00:06:49,180 --> 00:06:51,360 and she'll be back on the holidays and stuff. 191 00:06:51,380 --> 00:06:53,899 Guys, it's not a big deal. 192 00:06:53,900 --> 00:06:55,080 ♪ ♪ 193 00:06:55,140 --> 00:06:57,200 "The lady doth protest too much, methinks." 194 00:06:57,230 --> 00:07:00,220 Uh, can we stay on Eddie for a second? 195 00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:02,581 I think he's pretending he doesn't care Nicole is leaving. 196 00:07:02,670 --> 00:07:03,800 Yeah, that's what I... 197 00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:06,440 He's in denial. I read about this in my book. 198 00:07:06,470 --> 00:07:08,960 He needs to admit he's sad and talk about his feelings. 199 00:07:09,020 --> 00:07:10,920 Or he might dissociate completely 200 00:07:10,980 --> 00:07:12,480 and chop us all up in our sleep. 201 00:07:12,540 --> 00:07:15,540 That's an extreme example in here, but it does happen. 202 00:07:15,620 --> 00:07:18,420 Boys, get ready. We're gonna surprise Mom at her reading. 203 00:07:19,820 --> 00:07:21,060 We're going to the bookstore. 204 00:07:21,090 --> 00:07:23,340 - Hallelujah! - Get ready to feast, brain! 205 00:07:26,220 --> 00:07:27,590 Wow, look at this line. 206 00:07:27,630 --> 00:07:29,240 It's like Mommy is Space Mountain. 207 00:07:29,300 --> 00:07:32,420 Sorry. We're not letting anyone else in today. 208 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:33,980 Fire code. 209 00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:35,900 We'll have plenty of books tomorrow. 210 00:07:36,980 --> 00:07:38,419 You know what? That's fine. 211 00:07:38,420 --> 00:07:39,840 She's doing it, boys. 212 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:42,000 We'll just surprise her back home. 213 00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:44,260 You made me put on my dress shorts. 214 00:07:53,950 --> 00:07:58,930 ♪ ♪ 215 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:01,340 I'm a failure. 216 00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:08,830 ♪ ♪ 217 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:11,220 Hey, Jessica. 218 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:13,400 We know what happened at the reading. 219 00:08:13,540 --> 00:08:14,740 You do? 220 00:08:14,770 --> 00:08:16,500 We went there to surprise you. 221 00:08:16,670 --> 00:08:19,240 Look, it isn't easy to say, but I... 222 00:08:19,340 --> 00:08:21,770 Absolutely killed it! 223 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:23,426 It was so crowded we couldn't even get in. 224 00:08:23,450 --> 00:08:26,280 We were so excited, we made you... 225 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:29,190 A case of a knife to the brain. 226 00:08:29,220 --> 00:08:30,340 Cake! 227 00:08:30,450 --> 00:08:32,300 A cake of a knife to the brain! 228 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:33,900 One line, Ma. 229 00:08:36,830 --> 00:08:38,220 Well, tell us all about it. 230 00:08:38,340 --> 00:08:42,440 ♪ ♪ 231 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,380 What can I say? The book is a hit. 232 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:46,320 - Alright! - Yes, Mom! 233 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:47,600 But it's not a big deal. 234 00:08:47,710 --> 00:08:49,560 You're right. It is a very big deal. 235 00:08:49,670 --> 00:08:50,879 Boys, your mother's hard work 236 00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:52,339 has led to this great success. 237 00:08:52,340 --> 00:08:55,060 How big a hit are we talking? Are we rich? 238 00:08:55,150 --> 00:08:56,280 Can we get a pet puma?! 239 00:08:56,310 --> 00:08:57,440 Let's just say the store 240 00:08:57,480 --> 00:09:00,280 has never sold as many copies on a first day. 241 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:03,290 So, a-a book tour? TV interviews? 242 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:05,540 Oh, my God. Is Regis on the table? 243 00:09:05,580 --> 00:09:06,920 I don't want to jinx it, 244 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,040 so just don't go crazy spending money. 245 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:11,959 Yeah, nobody "MC Hammer" this thing. 246 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:14,480 ♪ ♪ 247 00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:16,680 The river on the east side is the East River, 248 00:09:16,700 --> 00:09:19,170 but the river on the west is the Hudson? 249 00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:20,460 Good luck, Nicole. 250 00:09:20,670 --> 00:09:22,380 At least he's thinking about her. 251 00:09:22,460 --> 00:09:23,520 That's good, right? 252 00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:25,880 I'm afraid not. It's classic sublimation. 253 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:28,180 His denial has turned into productivity. 254 00:09:28,310 --> 00:09:30,020 He's losing his sense of self. 255 00:09:30,050 --> 00:09:31,880 When has Eddie ever researched for pleasure? 256 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:33,040 My God. 257 00:09:33,150 --> 00:09:34,920 He needs to face his feelings soon, 258 00:09:34,950 --> 00:09:36,199 or when it finally hits him, 259 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:37,819 he'll lash out at someone. 260 00:09:37,820 --> 00:09:39,260 Chop. Chop. 261 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:43,040 Hey, dawg. 262 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:46,030 Evan and I were just talking about Nicole. 263 00:09:46,070 --> 00:09:48,070 Your best friend who's moving away. 264 00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:50,320 You two sure have had some great times together. 265 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:51,620 Mm. 266 00:09:51,700 --> 00:09:54,960 ♪ Back in the days when I was young, I'm not a kid anymore ♪ 267 00:09:54,980 --> 00:09:57,460 ♪ But some days I sit and wish I was a kid again ♪ 268 00:09:57,500 --> 00:10:00,760 ♪ Back in the days when I was young, I'm not a kid anymore ♪ 269 00:10:00,780 --> 00:10:02,219 ♪ But some days I sit and wish ♪ 270 00:10:02,220 --> 00:10:03,230 ♪ I was a kid again ♪ 271 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:05,720 ♪ And everybody say ♪ ♪ I remember way back when ♪ 272 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:08,600 ♪ And everybody say ♪ ♪ I remember way back when ♪ 273 00:10:08,660 --> 00:10:11,580 ♪ And everybody say ♪ ♪ I remember way back when ♪ 274 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:13,140 ♪ What? ♪ ♪ Back in the day ♪ 275 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,399 ♪ When? ♪ ♪ Back in the day ♪ 276 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:18,240 Yeah, we have had some great times. 277 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:19,940 Thanks for reminding me, guys. 278 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:21,599 There's so much stuff I have to get out 279 00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:22,899 of her car before she goes... 280 00:10:22,900 --> 00:10:25,060 my CD Player, Bootyman hat, 281 00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:26,840 drive-thru window gorilla mask. 282 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:29,760 For our door... padlock or dead bolt? 283 00:10:33,140 --> 00:10:36,360 Louis! What did I tell you about spending money? 284 00:10:36,380 --> 00:10:39,200 There isn't even enough room in the pantry for all of this. 285 00:10:39,250 --> 00:10:42,060 True. But there is room... 286 00:10:42,090 --> 00:10:43,599 in here. 287 00:10:46,180 --> 00:10:49,240 What... is... this? 288 00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:52,360 It's a 1998 NationWheeler with all the bells and whistles. 289 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:53,460 Why is this? 290 00:10:53,500 --> 00:10:55,940 Now we can all go on your book tour as a family. 291 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:57,779 Finally take that road trip across America 292 00:10:57,780 --> 00:10:58,979 we've always talked about. 293 00:10:58,980 --> 00:11:00,310 We can see the Heartland. 294 00:11:00,340 --> 00:11:01,456 And the regions of the South 295 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:03,200 once decimated by the boll weevil. 296 00:11:03,310 --> 00:11:05,060 How much did this house-truck cost? 297 00:11:05,110 --> 00:11:06,620 I knew that would come up, but don't worry. 298 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:07,800 It's a business write-off. 299 00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:11,480 _- ♪ ♪ 300 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:13,800 Now as we drive across the land, 301 00:11:13,820 --> 00:11:16,840 everyone will know best-selling author Jessica Huang is aboard. 302 00:11:16,860 --> 00:11:18,990 Is that my driver's license photo? 303 00:11:20,230 --> 00:11:23,300 Um, so, what do you say? Huangs across America? 304 00:11:23,330 --> 00:11:28,300 ♪ ♪ 305 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:29,440 Sure. 306 00:11:29,510 --> 00:11:31,340 Yeah. 307 00:11:31,940 --> 00:11:33,710 I live here now. 308 00:11:33,740 --> 00:11:36,660 ♪ ♪ 309 00:11:36,740 --> 00:11:39,320 I remember packing for the big city around your age. 310 00:11:39,340 --> 00:11:40,500 Of course, back then all you needed 311 00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:42,340 was a bar of soap and your wits. 312 00:11:43,260 --> 00:11:44,920 We're gonna miss you, Nicole. 313 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:46,620 And so will little Maria. 314 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:50,990 Ah, sounds like Coral's stirring. 315 00:11:51,030 --> 00:11:52,200 I'll go get Coral. 316 00:11:52,220 --> 00:11:54,600 No, no. Stay. I'll get Maria. 317 00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:58,160 Mm! 318 00:12:01,740 --> 00:12:04,040 Hey. Still going to New York, huh? 319 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:06,220 Yeah. I leave tomorrow at 3:00. 320 00:12:06,260 --> 00:12:08,040 Phew. I thought I missed you. 321 00:12:09,410 --> 00:12:11,140 I left a bunch of crap in the Saturn 322 00:12:11,170 --> 00:12:12,350 and wanted to get it back. 323 00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:16,420 Yeah. Here you go. 324 00:12:16,450 --> 00:12:19,090 Whoa. My old Kris Kross CD! 325 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:20,680 I was getting the car ready to sell, 326 00:12:20,700 --> 00:12:22,500 and that was stuck to a Frosty lid. 327 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:24,800 Wait. You're selling the Saturn? 328 00:12:24,830 --> 00:12:26,640 New York's way too expensive for a car. 329 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:28,700 That's why all the cops ride horses. 330 00:12:28,770 --> 00:12:29,959 I'll take the subway, no big deal. 331 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:31,139 No big deal? 332 00:12:31,140 --> 00:12:33,039 You're cool with just dumping the Saturn? 333 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:35,340 Who cares about all the good times we had in there? 334 00:12:35,370 --> 00:12:36,479 And our Saturn talks... 335 00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:37,616 I guess those meant nothing to you. 336 00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:39,100 Now you're upset? 337 00:12:39,140 --> 00:12:40,456 You're more worked up about the car 338 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:41,780 than when I said I was leaving! 339 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:44,220 Well, to be fair, the car isn't moving to New York 340 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:46,680 and totally bailing on me for the rest of high school! 341 00:12:46,790 --> 00:12:48,199 You know what? Forget it. 342 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,220 Have fun in New York! Peace. 343 00:12:53,430 --> 00:12:56,490 Aren't the Cascades enchanting, family? 344 00:12:57,730 --> 00:12:59,900 No, thank you. 345 00:13:00,830 --> 00:13:03,600 Oh, my God. Is that Bigfoot? 346 00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:05,780 Emery, get the camera! 347 00:13:06,070 --> 00:13:07,870 Set it to burst mode! 348 00:13:07,910 --> 00:13:10,070 Then just bring it here! 349 00:13:11,700 --> 00:13:12,740 Louis? 350 00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:14,140 Oh, hey. 351 00:13:14,310 --> 00:13:16,850 I thought you and I could celebrate 352 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,350 with some champagne. 353 00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:20,959 I just want you to take a second 354 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:22,960 to really soak it all in. 355 00:13:23,060 --> 00:13:24,070 You did it. 356 00:13:24,390 --> 00:13:25,460 Thanks. 357 00:13:25,490 --> 00:13:26,760 And you deserve some fun, 358 00:13:26,790 --> 00:13:28,860 so tomorrow, I'm buying his-and-her Jet Skis 359 00:13:28,890 --> 00:13:31,800 so we can zip around Havasu like a pair of dragonflies. 360 00:13:31,830 --> 00:13:33,680 They're not cheap, but neither is happiness. 361 00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:36,040 The book is a flop, Louis! 362 00:13:36,140 --> 00:13:37,580 What? 363 00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:42,120 It sold less than 100 copies nationwide. 364 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:43,880 What about that line at the store? 365 00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:45,759 Everyone was there for some other book... 366 00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:46,779 "Boy Witch." 367 00:13:46,780 --> 00:13:49,980 Written by a homeless British teacher of all things. 368 00:13:50,020 --> 00:13:51,880 Then why did you say it was a hit? 369 00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:54,060 Because between you and the cake 370 00:13:54,190 --> 00:13:56,790 and Evan's big saucer eyes going blink, blink, 371 00:13:56,820 --> 00:13:58,320 I didn't have a choice. 372 00:13:59,990 --> 00:14:02,439 I guess people just weren't ready for your talent. 373 00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:04,799 But, hey, maybe your work will be worth more 374 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:06,140 when you're dead like Monet. 375 00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:12,420 We'll have to cancel the road trip. 376 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:15,220 But the boys were so excited. 377 00:14:15,340 --> 00:14:17,200 But can't just fake a book tour. 378 00:14:17,810 --> 00:14:19,450 Everything will be fine. 379 00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:21,950 I'll return this tomorrow, and then when I get back, 380 00:14:21,980 --> 00:14:23,876 we'll tell the boys what happened with your book. 381 00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:25,740 Okay? 382 00:14:25,850 --> 00:14:27,490 Okay. 383 00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:29,890 ♪ ♪ 384 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:32,630 Good night, Havasu. 385 00:14:32,660 --> 00:14:34,230 ♪ ♪ 386 00:14:36,060 --> 00:14:37,380 Morning, Ma. 387 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,100 I'm returning the RV, so let me know 388 00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:42,479 if you hid any chewing tobacco in the seat pockets. 389 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:47,000 _ 390 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:48,640 What?! 391 00:14:48,660 --> 00:14:52,040 ♪ ♪ 392 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,400 Where's the first stop on the book tour, Mom? 393 00:14:57,410 --> 00:14:58,810 Uh, Miami. 394 00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:00,240 But we're going north. 395 00:15:00,270 --> 00:15:01,500 It's a shortcut. 396 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,440 Huh. Why couldn't we wait for Dad? 397 00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:04,599 He'll join us later. 398 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,580 There was an emergency at Cattleman's Ranch. 399 00:15:06,660 --> 00:15:07,820 What happened?! 400 00:15:07,850 --> 00:15:09,420 Hector's earring fell into the chili! 401 00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,500 Let Mommy focus on the road, please! 402 00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:14,860 Eddie, I was hoping we could really dig in 403 00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:16,100 on your childhood today. 404 00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:18,840 Go... away! 405 00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:21,660 We're gonna reschedule. 406 00:15:22,900 --> 00:15:25,480 Hey, uh, is Kareem here? 407 00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:27,200 They always ask for Kareem. 408 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:28,800 He's showing a customer an RV. 409 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,810 Stupid question, but what does "RV" stand for? 410 00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:34,700 Oh, sorry, sorry. 411 00:15:34,780 --> 00:15:36,710 Did my wife return an RV this morning? 412 00:15:36,750 --> 00:15:38,580 20-foot ad of an Asian lady on the side? 413 00:15:38,610 --> 00:15:40,800 This morning? No. 414 00:15:40,820 --> 00:15:42,370 Damn it. She took our kids, 415 00:15:42,380 --> 00:15:43,790 and I have no idea where they went. 416 00:15:43,820 --> 00:15:46,340 Well, our RVs come standard with LoJack. 417 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:48,000 I could get the tracker and help you find them. 418 00:15:48,020 --> 00:15:49,320 Oh, great. 419 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:51,760 Uh, you and Kareem, right? 420 00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:54,240 There it is! 421 00:15:56,020 --> 00:15:57,700 Another win for Team Kareem. 422 00:15:57,800 --> 00:15:59,360 Kareem did it. 423 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:01,840 Not the computer inside the LoJack. 424 00:16:04,270 --> 00:16:05,600 That's not good. 425 00:16:05,660 --> 00:16:08,100 Don't worry. All the knives are accounted for. 426 00:16:09,060 --> 00:16:10,820 Hey, where's your mom? 427 00:16:10,860 --> 00:16:12,760 Doing a reading at the bookstore. 428 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:14,719 ♪ ♪ 429 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:15,960 Kareem Abdul-Jabbar?! 430 00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:18,000 Dude, Nicole is gonna flip. 431 00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:20,710 She has a poster of you fighting Bruce Lee in her room. 432 00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:25,360 Whoa. An RV is no place to be sad. 433 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:27,150 My best friend is moving away, and we got in a fight, 434 00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:28,970 but I'm cool. I'm cool. 435 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,400 A double "I'm cool"? 436 00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:32,640 Let's not gloss over this. 437 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,360 I have three years of high school left, 438 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:38,570 and she's the only friend who really gets me, 439 00:16:38,610 --> 00:16:39,640 who speaks Eddie. 440 00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:40,960 I take it you're Eddie? 441 00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:44,850 I get it. It's hard to say goodbye. 442 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:46,380 But you're making this about you. 443 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,550 You got to realize that it's hard on her, too. 444 00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:50,660 Why? She's the one leaving me. 445 00:16:50,740 --> 00:16:53,280 Look, I'm at my car lot five days a year. 446 00:16:53,460 --> 00:16:56,360 When I leave, my employees are super sad, 447 00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:57,519 but they're not seeing things 448 00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:59,520 from where I stand at 7'2". 449 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:02,019 I have to leave my best friends, K... Ke... 450 00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:03,820 Kevin, all of them. 451 00:17:03,970 --> 00:17:05,440 I didn't even think about that. 452 00:17:05,470 --> 00:17:07,520 Don't let your best friend leave 453 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,870 without knowing she's your best friend. 454 00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:12,610 I get it, Kareem. Thanks. 455 00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:15,726 I thought for sure that you were gonna use a basketball metaphor. 456 00:17:15,750 --> 00:17:18,300 Well, you know, I'm a man of, uh, many talents. 457 00:17:18,380 --> 00:17:20,320 They used to think they had me pinned and then... 458 00:17:20,350 --> 00:17:22,480 skyhook. 459 00:17:22,540 --> 00:17:25,100 That's how you break down a wall. 460 00:17:25,140 --> 00:17:27,360 He can fly now? 461 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:29,260 Guess I should've given Jennifer Hong 462 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:30,880 the ability to defy physics. 463 00:17:30,890 --> 00:17:32,160 Garbage. 464 00:17:33,870 --> 00:17:35,000 Jessica? 465 00:17:35,030 --> 00:17:37,339 Why'd you run off with the boys? 466 00:17:37,340 --> 00:17:38,460 I stole your idea. 467 00:17:38,470 --> 00:17:39,810 I'm taking them on a fake book tour. 468 00:17:39,820 --> 00:17:41,840 It's going well. Tomorrow we tackle the Panhandle. 469 00:17:41,970 --> 00:17:43,580 Jessica, what's going on? 470 00:17:44,710 --> 00:17:47,450 I don't want the boys to find out about my book. 471 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:49,140 They'll never respect me again. 472 00:17:49,260 --> 00:17:50,960 That's ridiculous. 473 00:17:50,980 --> 00:17:54,520 Is it? You said yourself they learn from watching us. 474 00:17:54,580 --> 00:17:57,280 If they see my book is a dud, you know what they learn? 475 00:17:57,460 --> 00:17:59,290 That their mom is a failure. 476 00:17:59,330 --> 00:18:02,960 ♪ ♪ 477 00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:05,120 Just because the book didn't sell 478 00:18:05,140 --> 00:18:06,679 doesn't mean you are a failure, 479 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:08,219 but you can't hide this. 480 00:18:08,220 --> 00:18:10,040 It's just as important for the boys to see 481 00:18:10,050 --> 00:18:12,640 how you deal with a loss as it is to see you succeed. 482 00:18:13,140 --> 00:18:16,700 It's just I've never failed like this before in my life. 483 00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:18,620 I know. 484 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:20,750 But I've failed hundreds of times, 485 00:18:20,780 --> 00:18:22,240 and you were always there for me. 486 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:23,860 Let me be there for you. 487 00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:26,480 You have failed a lot. 488 00:18:28,260 --> 00:18:29,740 Building your own dirt bike. 489 00:18:30,190 --> 00:18:31,660 Beekeeping. 490 00:18:31,690 --> 00:18:33,400 - Cattleman's in a cup. - Yep. 491 00:18:33,420 --> 00:18:35,560 The banjo, "Top Hat" Louis, 492 00:18:35,580 --> 00:18:37,000 forming your own break-dance crew. 493 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:38,179 Okay, let's go tell the boys. 494 00:18:38,180 --> 00:18:39,639 I'm just gonna finish this chapter. 495 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:40,660 No. 496 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:42,400 Boys, your mother has something 497 00:18:42,420 --> 00:18:44,520 she needs to tell you about her book. 498 00:18:46,170 --> 00:18:47,359 Sometimes you forget 499 00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,600 how stupid the rest of the world is. 500 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:51,240 Like how all anybody cares about 501 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,680 is whether some snotty British boy can fly and... 502 00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:56,280 Eddie? What's wrong? 503 00:18:57,300 --> 00:18:59,620 I never said goodbye to Nicole. 504 00:18:59,650 --> 00:19:01,200 And she leaves in an hour, 505 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:03,500 and now we're here on this book tour. 506 00:19:03,690 --> 00:19:04,900 I messed up. 507 00:19:04,980 --> 00:19:06,760 ♪ ♪ 508 00:19:06,790 --> 00:19:07,860 Book tour is cancelled. 509 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,540 We're going home so Eddie can see Nicole. 510 00:19:09,860 --> 00:19:11,680 - Sweet! - Yes. 511 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:12,760 You're not gonna tell them? 512 00:19:12,780 --> 00:19:15,640 I will later, but right now, our son needs us. 513 00:19:15,740 --> 00:19:19,040 The one thing I can't ever fail is our boys. 514 00:19:19,070 --> 00:19:20,100 Oh! 515 00:19:20,140 --> 00:19:21,880 How about a heads-up? 516 00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:23,880 ♪ ♪ 517 00:19:26,380 --> 00:19:28,080 Damn it! We're 40 minutes late! 518 00:19:32,590 --> 00:19:34,500 Nicole! You're still here! 519 00:19:34,540 --> 00:19:35,870 I thought you were leaving at 3:00. 520 00:19:35,890 --> 00:19:37,090 I'm leaving at 5:00. 521 00:19:37,130 --> 00:19:38,580 I told you 3:00 because 522 00:19:38,590 --> 00:19:40,616 it always takes you longer than it should to come around. 523 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:43,460 You really do speak Eddie. 524 00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:45,430 Got time for one last Saturn talk? 525 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:47,600 I'm sorry I was a dope. 526 00:19:47,670 --> 00:19:49,800 I'm just... really gonna miss you. 527 00:19:49,870 --> 00:19:51,200 You're going to miss me? 528 00:19:51,340 --> 00:19:53,100 How am I supposed to make it without you? 529 00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:54,510 You had permanent shotgun. 530 00:19:54,540 --> 00:19:56,300 I mean, you've been there through everything. 531 00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:59,600 I know it sucks we won't be together talking like this, 532 00:19:59,620 --> 00:20:01,780 but you're gonna kill it in New York. 533 00:20:01,820 --> 00:20:03,380 You're Nicole. 534 00:20:03,460 --> 00:20:04,700 I'm gonna miss you, girl. 535 00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:06,120 I'm gonna miss you, fool. 536 00:20:06,180 --> 00:20:09,560 ♪ ♪ 537 00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:13,920 Are you crying? 538 00:20:13,940 --> 00:20:16,240 Nah. It's just my allergies. 539 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:17,860 Okay. 540 00:20:17,940 --> 00:20:19,519 Because you know what happens in here 541 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:22,100 stays in here, forever. 542 00:20:22,110 --> 00:20:23,580 Whew! It's... 543 00:20:23,620 --> 00:20:25,020 It's really flaring up now. 544 00:20:28,570 --> 00:20:30,030 And with that home run, 545 00:20:30,070 --> 00:20:32,900 Sammy Sosa retakes the lead over Mark McGwire. 546 00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:34,470 Slammin' Sammy! 547 00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:36,560 You know he's on steroids, right? 548 00:20:36,740 --> 00:20:38,910 What steroids? 549 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:43,720 Hey, I know it's going to be difficult, 550 00:20:43,750 --> 00:20:44,939 but you still need to tell the boys 551 00:20:44,940 --> 00:20:45,956 what happened with the book. 552 00:20:45,980 --> 00:20:47,740 ♪ ♪ 553 00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:49,240 What book? 554 00:20:50,620 --> 00:20:51,620 I know what you're doing, 555 00:20:51,650 --> 00:20:53,180 but you can't just deny it happened. 556 00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:55,620 Deny what happened? 557 00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:57,879 Uh-oh. 558 00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:02,880 - Synced and corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com --