1 00:00:48,431 --> 00:00:51,013 ON THE THRESHOLDS OF LIFE 2 00:01:32,565 --> 00:01:34,765 PEDIATRICS DEPARTMENT ACCEPTANCE 3 00:02:32,291 --> 00:02:34,521 You can come in. 4 00:02:54,605 --> 00:02:56,510 I'm Mr. Ellius... 5 00:02:56,540 --> 00:02:59,605 Dr. Karlsson told me to call an ambulance 6 00:03:00,111 --> 00:03:02,705 and to hospitalize my wife immediately. 7 00:03:02,947 --> 00:03:06,383 - Was he bleeding? - Yes. 8 00:03:08,903 --> 00:03:12,020 - Nurse Mari. - Mrs. Ellius. 9 00:03:12,181 --> 00:03:14,820 -How do you feel now? - I'm in pain. 10 00:03:15,059 --> 00:03:19,928 - Are you feeling any contractions? - They come and go. 11 00:03:20,273 --> 00:03:24,643 - And I'm bleeding a lot. - The doctor will be there soon. 12 00:03:25,194 --> 00:03:27,788 - Please wait here. - Thank you. 13 00:03:28,030 --> 00:03:31,659 Be brave. And everything will be fine 14 00:03:31,951 --> 00:03:34,943 I'll stay here if you need me. 15 00:03:35,204 --> 00:03:40,204 Just remember, Cissi, that Ellius hopes let his wife do her duty! 16 00:03:41,085 --> 00:03:43,784 Do you really love this child, Anders? 17 00:03:46,257 --> 00:03:50,409 I have to know! Not you I've never asked that before. 18 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:54,463 In any case, there isn't nothing we can do. 19 00:03:57,768 --> 00:04:01,807 The doctors will do everything they can to save the child. 20 00:04:02,106 --> 00:04:05,018 Put yourself in their hands! 21 00:04:05,276 --> 00:04:08,348 A large package with inside another smaller one. 22 00:04:25,713 --> 00:04:29,626 Don't worry, Cissi. Everything will be fine. 23 00:04:46,817 --> 00:04:50,117 When was she born? 24 00:04:50,654 --> 00:04:52,963 March 20, 1930. 25 00:04:53,199 --> 00:04:55,838 The full name? 26 00:04:56,077 --> 00:04:59,831 Kristina Cecilia Ellius, unmarried, Lindgren. 27 00:05:00,122 --> 00:05:03,876 - Address and telephone number? - 23 Cederdalsgatan. 28 00:05:04,168 --> 00:05:05,918 201879. 29 00:05:06,587 --> 00:05:11,217 - Work? - I work at the education agency. 30 00:05:11,550 --> 00:05:14,269 - How? - Write secretary. 31 00:05:14,512 --> 00:05:19,381 When he got his last period? 32 00:05:19,725 --> 00:05:24,037 I don't remember now! The doctor he said we had to hurry! 33 00:05:24,355 --> 00:05:28,826 The doctor will see you soon. First we have to admit it. 34 00:05:42,206 --> 00:05:44,436 June 27th. 35 00:05:44,667 --> 00:05:49,343 - So it's the third month. - Yes. 36 00:05:56,095 --> 00:05:59,246 The doctor is on the street. Call me if you need me. 37 00:06:37,178 --> 00:06:40,773 Nurse! Nurse! 38 00:06:41,056 --> 00:06:42,967 Nurse! 39 00:06:43,184 --> 00:06:45,823 I'm losing it! 40 00:07:00,951 --> 00:07:03,899 - How am I, doctor? - We'll give you an injection. 41 00:07:04,914 --> 00:07:06,023 And the child? 42 00:07:13,255 --> 00:07:15,564 I want to know! 43 00:07:18,511 --> 00:07:19,611 I already know it. 44 00:07:21,722 --> 00:07:22,822 I lost it. 45 00:07:25,226 --> 00:07:28,298 Yes, unfortunately. 46 00:07:28,562 --> 00:07:31,030 I am sorry. It had to go like this... 47 00:07:32,816 --> 00:07:36,252 From the beginning something was wrong. 48 00:07:39,406 --> 00:07:41,406 I understand. 49 00:07:43,619 --> 00:07:47,214 What could it have been? 50 00:07:47,498 --> 00:07:51,457 We don't know this. 51 00:07:51,752 --> 00:07:53,570 Sleep, Mrs. Ellius. 52 00:07:53,654 --> 00:07:55,285 As soon as he gets better... 53 00:07:56,799 --> 00:07:59,688 we'll do a little surgery on her, so next time everything will be fine. 54 00:07:59,718 --> 00:08:03,313 Not that I think there will be another time. 55 00:08:46,599 --> 00:08:49,318 Poor thing, she's suffering. 56 00:08:49,560 --> 00:08:51,790 I wonder if he already knows. 57 00:08:52,021 --> 00:08:56,731 Poor little thing! He knows everything! 58 00:09:16,587 --> 00:09:20,102 What should we do with her? 59 00:09:34,146 --> 00:09:37,058 Get down and cover yourself. 60 00:09:52,873 --> 00:09:55,401 She's still groggy from the anesthetics. 61 00:09:59,588 --> 00:10:03,297 Good morning, Mrs. Ellius. I'm Nurse Brita. 62 00:10:03,592 --> 00:10:08,592 We operated on her. You will feel nauseous for a while. 63 00:10:09,556 --> 00:10:12,628 Something went wrong from the start... 64 00:10:12,893 --> 00:10:15,691 This child should not have been born. 65 00:10:15,938 --> 00:10:18,498 He doesn't have to say anything. I know. 66 00:10:18,732 --> 00:10:23,328 Don't try to console me... I don't need it anymore. 67 00:10:23,654 --> 00:10:28,654 I need to say something... 68 00:10:29,159 --> 00:10:32,200 I've never seen things like this clearly in my life. 69 00:10:32,913 --> 00:10:36,383 He was not a wanted child... 70 00:10:36,667 --> 00:10:39,101 Not for his father... 71 00:10:39,336 --> 00:10:43,011 and the mother's love does not It was enough... 72 00:10:43,298 --> 00:10:47,392 For this reason he could not be born, and was aspirated with a tube... 73 00:10:49,930 --> 00:10:54,765 or was placed in a test tube for scientific purposes... 74 00:10:57,271 --> 00:11:00,388 I learned certain things... 75 00:11:00,649 --> 00:11:02,628 My baby in the garbage... 76 00:11:04,403 --> 00:11:06,251 I wasn't strong enough 77 00:11:08,615 --> 00:11:10,543 and I didn't love him enough. 78 00:11:12,911 --> 00:11:16,586 Don't go away! Listen to me, nurse! 79 00:11:16,874 --> 00:11:20,293 I don't usually talk, but now I need to talk 80 00:11:20,711 --> 00:11:25,599 I'm not confused. I see it clearly... 81 00:11:29,261 --> 00:11:33,561 I've always known it. 82 00:11:33,932 --> 00:11:37,322 I wasn't good enough... 83 00:11:37,603 --> 00:11:41,312 neither as a wife, nor as a mother. 84 00:11:41,607 --> 00:11:45,725 Some are predestined and they never will be. 85 00:11:47,654 --> 00:11:50,373 Don't you think so, nurse? 86 00:11:50,616 --> 00:11:54,245 And they've known it from the beginning. 87 00:11:56,830 --> 00:12:01,346 I didn't realize before... 88 00:12:01,668 --> 00:12:05,183 Now it's as if I have it always known... 89 00:12:05,464 --> 00:12:10,464 I wasn't happy when I got pregnant because... 90 00:12:11,386 --> 00:12:15,018 deep down I knew that the child would never have been born. 91 00:12:19,770 --> 00:12:22,603 I knew Anders didn't love me... 92 00:12:22,856 --> 00:12:27,856 He never said it clearly. He would never say it. 93 00:12:28,487 --> 00:12:31,320 But I saw it in his eyes... 94 00:12:31,573 --> 00:12:36,573 I saw him when he I said I was pregnant. 95 00:12:42,417 --> 00:12:46,808 It doesn't matter... it's all over... 96 00:12:47,130 --> 00:12:52,079 Now it's all over. And the pain won't kill me... 97 00:12:52,427 --> 00:12:57,427 I'll go back to eating, laughing and... sleep... I have already laughed and slept... 98 00:12:59,351 --> 00:13:03,469 Everyone will be kind to me. They will bring me books and flowers 99 00:13:03,772 --> 00:13:06,366 As you can see, I'm of that kind... 100 00:13:06,608 --> 00:13:11,608 I have my job, my friends and everything else... 101 00:13:12,531 --> 00:13:15,204 I know how to embroider wonderfully... 102 00:13:15,450 --> 00:13:18,255 Everything will go back to how it was before once he's out... 103 00:13:22,207 --> 00:13:25,597 Everything is different here... I can feel it. 104 00:13:25,878 --> 00:13:30,588 Here one is different than he is outside... 105 00:13:30,924 --> 00:13:35,924 Even the poor, Cecilia Ellius a little scared. 106 00:13:36,388 --> 00:13:40,267 Here perhaps not only the uteruses they are forced to open up... 107 00:13:40,559 --> 00:13:44,677 but the whole person. 108 00:13:46,174 --> 00:13:48,859 I will never forget this moment. 109 00:13:49,201 --> 00:13:54,201 It will never go back to being so close to life... 110 00:13:55,165 --> 00:14:00,165 It passed through me, through my body 111 00:14:01,380 --> 00:14:03,689 but like water. 112 00:14:03,924 --> 00:14:05,835 Like water 113 00:14:06,051 --> 00:14:10,920 which leaves no traces. 114 00:15:33,096 --> 00:15:38,096 My mother always hugged me like that. Often it didn't help me. But I felt good. 115 00:15:40,687 --> 00:15:44,600 My mother too, and it's nice. 116 00:15:44,900 --> 00:15:48,176 - Do you feel better now? - Much better 117 00:15:48,445 --> 00:15:52,757 I think that's the effect of anaesthetics. 118 00:15:53,075 --> 00:15:55,191 I probably talked too much. 119 00:15:55,410 --> 00:15:57,640 I don't know how she ended up in this bed. 120 00:15:58,421 --> 00:16:03,421 - He looked like a rag doll to me. - A rag doll? 121 00:16:04,052 --> 00:16:07,285 Sorry for being there gained a lot of confidence. 122 00:16:07,315 --> 00:16:08,842 Why not? 123 00:16:09,182 --> 00:16:12,413 - My name is Cecilia. - I'm Stina. 124 00:16:12,685 --> 00:16:14,721 And she is Hj�rdis. 125 00:16:14,937 --> 00:16:17,610 Her husband is about to arrive. 126 00:16:17,857 --> 00:16:22,857 It's not visiting day, but the nurse Brita made an exception. 127 00:16:23,613 --> 00:16:28,562 If Hj�rdis and I want, we'll leave there room. We can walk. 128 00:16:28,910 --> 00:16:31,788 It's not necessary. 129 00:16:37,210 --> 00:16:40,441 It would be better if I could cry. 130 00:16:40,713 --> 00:16:44,342 He cried while he slept. 131 00:16:44,565 --> 00:16:47,413 She sat down on the bed and started crying desperately. 132 00:16:47,443 --> 00:16:49,583 I felt sorry for her. 133 00:16:49,838 --> 00:16:53,367 For something that happened to her and that I didn't know... 134 00:16:53,643 --> 00:16:58,159 And yet it is as if I had always known. 135 00:16:58,481 --> 00:17:02,997 - What? - That the child would have gone badly. 136 00:17:04,278 --> 00:17:07,315 It definitely happens the first time. 137 00:17:07,573 --> 00:17:12,573 My mother had an abortion the first time. 138 00:17:13,746 --> 00:17:17,056 Then it was easy... seven children in nine years. 139 00:17:17,333 --> 00:17:19,528 I won't be able to have another. 140 00:17:27,885 --> 00:17:31,036 - How are you now? - Much better. 141 00:17:31,305 --> 00:17:33,614 Mr. Ellius is on his way. 142 00:17:33,850 --> 00:17:38,850 - How long will he have to stay here? - Three or four days. 143 00:17:39,772 --> 00:17:43,560 Nurse, the diapers are ready. 144 00:17:43,860 --> 00:17:48,172 If we continue to keep her here, we will have an excellent kit. 145 00:17:48,489 --> 00:17:51,799 But it's against the rules. Patients do not have to work. 146 00:17:52,076 --> 00:17:57,076 I have to have something to do. This baby who isn't born makes me nervous. 147 00:17:58,291 --> 00:18:02,045 - We'll say it's therapy. - What kind of therapy? 148 00:18:02,336 --> 00:18:05,851 Something to keep it from ending to climb the tents. 149 00:18:06,132 --> 00:18:10,922 - They wouldn't hold my weight! - That's what I fear for her. 150 00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:17,916 - What can we do for her? - Nothing, thanks. 151 00:18:18,186 --> 00:18:21,622 - A cup of tea or something else? - Thank you. 152 00:18:21,898 --> 00:18:24,128 - It's here. - Her husband has arrived. 153 00:18:24,358 --> 00:18:26,952 Nurse Maud, put up the screen. 154 00:18:30,406 --> 00:18:33,125 - Good evening. - Good evening. 155 00:18:44,670 --> 00:18:46,420 Thank you. 156 00:18:49,675 --> 00:18:53,031 - That's kind of you! - Not kind, Cissi. 157 00:18:53,304 --> 00:18:57,183 - Isn't that kind? - You speak as if I were a stranger. 158 00:18:57,475 --> 00:19:01,263 Are you not? You always are been kind to me. 159 00:19:01,562 --> 00:19:04,030 Like a stranger. Always at a distance. 160 00:19:04,273 --> 00:19:07,265 Don't interrupt me, let me finish! 161 00:19:07,527 --> 00:19:10,678 I have to say it here and now. 162 00:19:13,898 --> 00:19:16,207 Thank you, nurse. 163 00:19:16,442 --> 00:19:20,481 - Aren't you having your tea? - I'll try. 164 00:19:22,490 --> 00:19:26,529 I don't want to argue. Say what you have to say. 165 00:19:26,828 --> 00:19:30,298 - But don't get tired. - I meant... 166 00:19:30,581 --> 00:19:34,460 - that I know you don't love me. - Wasn't it better if I waited? 167 00:19:34,752 --> 00:19:39,189 - You weren't happy with the baby. - You're tired and agitated. 168 00:19:39,507 --> 00:19:44,399 - Try to be sensible. - We have always been sensible and reasonable. 169 00:19:45,930 --> 00:19:50,693 - If only once we had argued! - Cecilia, I ask you... 170 00:19:55,231 --> 00:19:59,190 You probably thought you loved me before. 171 00:19:59,485 --> 00:20:03,072 We're getting married and you were too kind to admit it was a mistake. 172 00:20:06,367 --> 00:20:10,599 When you found out what was a mistake? 173 00:20:10,913 --> 00:20:12,163 Yesterday, 174 00:20:12,582 --> 00:20:16,621 when I went up the stairs and blood was pouring out of me 175 00:20:16,919 --> 00:20:21,595 I was scared. I turned and looked at you. 176 00:20:21,924 --> 00:20:25,883 - And I saw the truth in your eyes. - Well... 177 00:20:26,179 --> 00:20:28,693 What truth? Can I know? 178 00:20:28,931 --> 00:20:33,322 They told me: I don't love you, our marriage is a failure. 179 00:20:33,644 --> 00:20:35,502 Better that the baby not be born. 180 00:20:35,532 --> 00:20:39,125 I've never given you any reason to believe that. 181 00:20:39,817 --> 00:20:44,447 - You can't deny it. - Yes I can, I absolutely deny it. 182 00:20:44,781 --> 00:20:46,031 I... 183 00:20:47,615 --> 00:20:52,450 I probably wasn't happy as an anxious father should be. 184 00:20:52,787 --> 00:20:57,787 I was worried about you. I worried about myself. 185 00:20:58,209 --> 00:21:01,758 I was worried about us, Cissi. 186 00:21:02,046 --> 00:21:07,046 We promised ourselves to wait until I finished my thesis. 187 00:21:08,386 --> 00:21:11,935 The death of our son it's not my fault. 188 00:21:15,184 --> 00:21:17,539 Dear Cissi. 189 00:21:17,770 --> 00:21:22,770 We don't have to fight hard enough without also taking the blame? 190 00:21:25,445 --> 00:21:28,994 Were you not as happy as you would have liked? 191 00:21:29,282 --> 00:21:31,842 Didn't you cry at night? 192 00:21:32,076 --> 00:21:34,909 It was hard to know if you were happy. 193 00:21:35,163 --> 00:21:38,951 I was happy. Secretly I was happy. 194 00:21:39,250 --> 00:21:41,718 Sometimes I was full of joy. 195 00:21:41,961 --> 00:21:46,432 I thought: he will have a son. But I didn't dare show it. 196 00:21:46,757 --> 00:21:50,113 I was afraid you wouldn't like it. 197 00:21:50,386 --> 00:21:55,096 Or that you didn't want to show your happiness for fear that it would be a bad omen. 198 00:21:58,811 --> 00:22:01,609 I am sorry. 199 00:22:01,856 --> 00:22:03,892 I'm so clumsy. 200 00:22:07,111 --> 00:22:10,945 You don't want me. That's all. 201 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:15,292 I am saddened and disappointed. I'm not what you hoped for. 202 00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:21,595 I'm not capable either to give you a child. 203 00:22:23,002 --> 00:22:27,473 A horrible ordeal of how useless I am. 204 00:22:27,798 --> 00:22:31,188 I have to let you go. I want you to be happy! 205 00:22:31,469 --> 00:22:36,463 You want me to be happy, and you? 206 00:22:36,807 --> 00:22:41,005 He will be happy knowing that you are. 207 00:22:41,312 --> 00:22:45,942 I want to leave, Anders. 208 00:22:46,275 --> 00:22:51,275 It's what I always have desired. I'm not strong. 209 00:22:51,989 --> 00:22:55,106 I'm not fit to live. 210 00:22:56,577 --> 00:22:59,728 I'm not fit to be married. 211 00:23:02,375 --> 00:23:07,375 Do you mean you want a divorce? 212 00:23:11,551 --> 00:23:14,907 I want you to be free... Anders. 213 00:23:15,179 --> 00:23:17,249 I think you've known this for a long time. 214 00:23:17,473 --> 00:23:21,785 But I saw it more clearly afterwards what happened last night. 215 00:23:22,103 --> 00:23:25,061 Now it's easier for us to separate. 216 00:23:28,025 --> 00:23:31,023 But all we have built together... 217 00:23:31,053 --> 00:23:32,206 our house, 218 00:23:32,446 --> 00:23:36,803 - the furniture... the books? - Worldly goods. 219 00:23:37,118 --> 00:23:39,348 Leave them for later. 220 00:23:39,579 --> 00:23:41,968 And after? What will happen? 221 00:23:42,206 --> 00:23:44,959 Give me time. 222 00:23:45,209 --> 00:23:48,804 - Don't you want me to come back? - It's better this way. 223 00:23:49,088 --> 00:23:54,088 - You don't even want flowers? - Let me keep them! Please. 224 00:23:54,677 --> 00:23:58,636 - Cissi. - Now go away, please, Anders! 225 00:24:03,102 --> 00:24:07,971 I'll call anyway head nurse and will ask for you. 226 00:24:08,316 --> 00:24:12,912 - It would be kind of you. - You know it's not... 227 00:24:30,671 --> 00:24:35,267 - Don't you want to have your tea? - No thank you. 228 00:24:54,462 --> 00:24:59,092 I'm Dr. Thylenius. I would like to ask you some questions. 229 00:25:00,104 --> 00:25:03,782 It was a few times sick or hospitalized? 230 00:25:04,096 --> 00:25:06,564 I had never been to hospital before. 231 00:25:06,807 --> 00:25:09,765 But as a child I had a mild heart problem. 232 00:25:10,019 --> 00:25:12,089 Then we will listen to it. 233 00:25:13,564 --> 00:25:15,316 That's fine, thanks. 234 00:25:20,696 --> 00:25:22,493 No, nothing. 235 00:25:26,786 --> 00:25:29,459 When he got his first menstruation? 236 00:25:29,705 --> 00:25:32,219 Not before the age of 16. 237 00:25:32,558 --> 00:25:35,550 - Other children? - No. 238 00:25:35,811 --> 00:25:40,248 - Any previous abortions? - No. 239 00:25:40,566 --> 00:25:44,320 Any venereal disease? Gonorrhea or syphilis? 240 00:25:45,571 --> 00:25:46,571 Never. 241 00:25:53,162 --> 00:25:57,280 He didn't do anything for cause abortion? 242 00:25:57,583 --> 00:25:59,813 Excuse me, what did you say? 243 00:26:00,044 --> 00:26:03,400 I asked if he did anything to cause abortion. 244 00:26:03,673 --> 00:26:06,141 No, I didn't do anything. 245 00:26:06,384 --> 00:26:08,500 I wanted the baby! 246 00:26:10,137 --> 00:26:13,129 That's all. Thank you. 247 00:28:04,835 --> 00:28:08,111 Could I speak to Tage Lundin? 248 00:28:08,380 --> 00:28:12,817 - Which day? -Tage Lindin. 249 00:28:13,135 --> 00:28:17,413 - Ready? - Hi, Tage, I'm Hj�rdis. 250 00:28:17,723 --> 00:28:21,875 - How are you? - Not very well. 251 00:28:22,186 --> 00:28:26,225 You'll be fine when you get out over there! Wait and see. 252 00:28:27,525 --> 00:28:30,597 Why don't you come and visit me tonight? 253 00:28:30,861 --> 00:28:33,739 Visits are prohibited in the afternoon. 254 00:28:33,989 --> 00:28:38,989 - I have to talk to you. - You must be crazy! In a place like that! 255 00:28:40,079 --> 00:28:45,079 Many men, friends and husbands come. 256 00:28:45,751 --> 00:28:48,629 Hell, I'm not your husband! 257 00:28:48,879 --> 00:28:53,669 - You are the child's father! - We will establish this when you are discharged. 258 00:28:54,009 --> 00:28:58,754 - Not like last time! You won't do it! - It won't be like last time! 259 00:29:00,599 --> 00:29:05,070 What should I do? What should I tell him? 260 00:29:05,396 --> 00:29:10,396 They ask questions all the time. What did you do? What will you do? 261 00:29:11,485 --> 00:29:13,680 Their questions drive me crazy. 262 00:29:13,904 --> 00:29:17,783 Keep your mouth shut! Silent as a grave. 263 00:29:18,075 --> 00:29:21,863 They can't force you! 264 00:29:22,162 --> 00:29:27,031 Now put it down. I can't stay talking all day! 265 00:29:27,376 --> 00:29:28,626 HI. 266 00:29:49,381 --> 00:29:51,736 Aren't they wonderful? 267 00:29:51,967 --> 00:29:55,323 We could have a chat. I have some time. 268 00:29:58,098 --> 00:30:00,896 - We have nothing to talk about. - Come. 269 00:30:17,951 --> 00:30:21,580 Nurse Brita has said he's better now. 270 00:30:21,872 --> 00:30:26,741 The bleeding stopped and there are no disturbing signs. 271 00:30:27,086 --> 00:30:28,883 Sit down. 272 00:30:33,050 --> 00:30:34,300 But... 273 00:30:36,929 --> 00:30:41,929 Maybe she's not happy about this. Maybe he would have preferred... 274 00:30:43,977 --> 00:30:48,977 Good. He says he doesn't think so get married to the child's father... 275 00:30:49,942 --> 00:30:52,740 And he doesn't want to go to his parents' house. 276 00:30:52,986 --> 00:30:56,262 His parents still don't know anything. 277 00:30:59,785 --> 00:31:04,222 I can only repeat that that I told you before. 278 00:31:04,540 --> 00:31:08,010 A mother's situation unmarried in Sweden... 279 00:31:08,293 --> 00:31:13,293 It's completely different compared to 30 or 40 years ago. 280 00:31:14,007 --> 00:31:18,000 The state helps and protects the mother, 281 00:31:18,303 --> 00:31:21,852 how she fights for her son. 282 00:31:22,141 --> 00:31:25,611 There are maternity allowances and family allowance 283 00:31:25,894 --> 00:31:30,445 free assistance e social security. 284 00:31:32,067 --> 00:31:34,785 The rights of the child are protected by law... 285 00:31:34,987 --> 00:31:37,865 And a civil defender of the child will support it, 286 00:31:38,115 --> 00:31:43,115 will make sure that the father pay your share... 287 00:31:45,539 --> 00:31:50,539 There are houses where you can stay before and after giving birth. 288 00:31:51,378 --> 00:31:56,378 But it would be better if he put it on in contact with his parents. 289 00:31:57,176 --> 00:32:01,533 You're afraid of your mother, aren't you? 290 00:32:01,847 --> 00:32:05,920 - Do you want me to call you? - I'm not afraid of my mother. 291 00:32:06,226 --> 00:32:10,538 Don't worry, we won't nothing without his consent. 292 00:32:10,856 --> 00:32:15,054 Must understand that attitude of society has changed. 293 00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:19,353 It is neither shameful nor unfortunate for a girl to give birth. 294 00:32:19,656 --> 00:32:23,331 You can call yourself Mrs and find a home. 295 00:32:23,619 --> 00:32:26,497 Where will he find the money? From the bank? 296 00:32:26,747 --> 00:32:31,104 We will get you a loan and we'll help you rent something. 297 00:32:31,418 --> 00:32:35,730 - How will I pay the rent? - Of course, he will have to work, of course. 298 00:32:36,048 --> 00:32:39,961 - And who will cure... - There are excellent kindergartens 299 00:32:40,260 --> 00:32:42,760 and economical, for example low-income workers. 300 00:32:42,971 --> 00:32:47,169 - And at night, or if I get sick? - Well... 301 00:32:47,476 --> 00:32:50,115 You will also have to do something yourself. 302 00:32:50,354 --> 00:32:55,354 The joy of having a child... Something to live for... 303 00:32:56,360 --> 00:33:00,239 Tell me, why not are you trying to see it like this? 304 00:33:00,530 --> 00:33:02,725 Like a gift. 305 00:33:02,950 --> 00:33:06,147 Something precious. 306 00:33:06,411 --> 00:33:11,411 Not everyone has the privilege to have one... 307 00:33:12,876 --> 00:33:17,188 There are women who don't they can have children. 308 00:33:17,506 --> 00:33:20,578 She just wants to make me cry in fear! 309 00:33:20,842 --> 00:33:24,391 No, dear, I don't want to scare you. 310 00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:27,035 I'm not his darling! 311 00:33:27,266 --> 00:33:30,338 And she wants me to cry, because this makes me debilitated. 312 00:33:30,602 --> 00:33:35,602 Once I was weakened I will question and make me talk. 313 00:33:36,733 --> 00:33:40,248 - We won't force her. - And he will force me to keep the baby! 314 00:33:40,529 --> 00:33:44,966 Money here and money there. Houses here and houses there. 315 00:33:45,284 --> 00:33:48,879 Aren't they wonderful? 316 00:33:49,162 --> 00:33:53,997 I think they are disgusting and hateful! 317 00:33:54,334 --> 00:33:59,283 What do you know about all this? He just read a bunch of books! 318 00:33:59,631 --> 00:34:03,563 He has never seen a pair of arms tattooed women rummaging inside her! 319 00:34:13,603 --> 00:34:16,993 Hey! It was almost there! 320 00:34:19,568 --> 00:34:24,084 Do you think children are beautiful? 321 00:34:25,574 --> 00:34:30,574 - This is the reason? - Do you think so? 322 00:34:33,999 --> 00:34:36,832 I see them day and night, year after year. 323 00:34:37,085 --> 00:34:39,519 So I'm partial. 324 00:34:39,755 --> 00:34:43,748 They're not exactly adorable. But there's something about them... 325 00:34:44,051 --> 00:34:47,885 They are complete from the start. 326 00:34:48,180 --> 00:34:50,933 Lungs that breathe, beating hearts, 327 00:34:51,183 --> 00:34:54,573 fingers that hold ours. 328 00:34:54,853 --> 00:34:59,324 - I think they are a small miracle. - I think they're disgusting. 329 00:34:59,649 --> 00:35:01,799 Really? Anything else? 330 00:35:02,027 --> 00:35:06,976 I pity them for being born. 331 00:35:07,324 --> 00:35:11,033 What is that way of kicking, screaming and stomping? 332 00:35:11,328 --> 00:35:15,640 Either way it's shit. It's shit. 333 00:35:15,957 --> 00:35:20,030 - It's not shit. - I think so. 334 00:35:20,337 --> 00:35:23,807 I wish I hadn't been born! 335 00:35:28,387 --> 00:35:32,858 Oh God, if I hadn't been born! 336 00:35:33,183 --> 00:35:36,971 Not just now, I thought so already as a child. 337 00:35:37,270 --> 00:35:41,058 Is this why you are afraid of giving birth? 338 00:35:41,358 --> 00:35:44,316 It's okay to have a baby what if it feels like this? 339 00:35:44,569 --> 00:35:47,959 Sometimes we have to do things things without asking questions. 340 00:35:48,240 --> 00:35:51,835 I can't do this! 341 00:35:52,119 --> 00:35:56,670 Because he tortures me with his "Aren't they wonderful?" 342 00:35:56,998 --> 00:36:01,998 She would do anything to have one, but he can't. 343 00:36:02,671 --> 00:36:04,741 She had several miscarriages. 344 00:36:04,965 --> 00:36:08,230 After the last one the doctor has them told to give up hope. 345 00:36:08,260 --> 00:36:12,173 This doesn't mean that you have to hold it against me! 346 00:36:13,432 --> 00:36:18,028 Let's see if he stayed some hot coffee! 347 00:36:43,378 --> 00:36:45,972 Where have you been all this time? 348 00:36:46,214 --> 00:36:48,887 They said yes now they would take care of you. 349 00:36:49,134 --> 00:36:52,843 No? Who said that? 350 00:36:53,138 --> 00:36:57,495 - I bet it was Thylenius. - The other one too. The doctor. 351 00:36:59,019 --> 00:37:03,012 Do you feel it? You feel it little one who is in here? 352 00:37:03,315 --> 00:37:06,352 He eats and sleeps. 353 00:37:06,610 --> 00:37:10,080 Come out, you rascal, your mother she wants to be thin again. 354 00:37:10,363 --> 00:37:15,153 Go out so that I have shirts, diapers and shorts for home! 355 00:37:15,494 --> 00:37:19,851 Go out for your father who there can't sleep at night! 356 00:37:24,961 --> 00:37:29,079 Get out of there, you little rascal, naughty and naughty! 357 00:37:29,382 --> 00:37:32,215 Go out and see your mother. 358 00:37:34,262 --> 00:37:37,755 It's not like you stole anything of my medicine cabinet? 359 00:37:38,016 --> 00:37:40,894 No, this is faith, hope and love! 360 00:37:41,144 --> 00:37:44,693 Sometimes you need a push. 361 00:37:44,981 --> 00:37:49,981 - Beer? It will be the first. - You need it to swallow this. 362 00:37:50,654 --> 00:37:55,409 Castor oil? Then it will be also my last beer! 363 00:37:55,742 --> 00:37:57,937 But it has to be done. 364 00:37:58,161 --> 00:38:00,231 Should I drink it in sips? 365 00:38:00,455 --> 00:38:01,955 You come. 366 00:38:05,998 --> 00:38:08,294 One for dad... one for mom 367 00:38:08,964 --> 00:38:12,877 One for the Eternal Father and no one else. 368 00:38:13,176 --> 00:38:16,054 One for the grandmother who isn't here. 369 00:38:16,304 --> 00:38:19,137 And another for grandfather... 370 00:38:19,391 --> 00:38:21,586 who lives in the city. 371 00:38:23,436 --> 00:38:28,436 One for me, happy as you can see. 372 00:38:28,942 --> 00:38:31,410 And one for the baby, 373 00:38:31,653 --> 00:38:35,692 his mother's pride and joy. 374 00:38:44,082 --> 00:38:47,313 Have you ever had such a crazy patient? 375 00:38:47,586 --> 00:38:51,101 No, Mrs Andersson, you are the worst I've had! 376 00:38:51,381 --> 00:38:56,296 I've waited a long time for it. Going crazy doesn't come out soon. 377 00:39:00,932 --> 00:39:03,446 What's going on, Mrs Andersson? 378 00:39:04,603 --> 00:39:08,232 No nurse. Absolutely nothing. 379 00:39:14,821 --> 00:39:18,336 What does the Bible say? 380 00:39:19,576 --> 00:39:22,573 A sword passed through his soul. 381 00:39:26,249 --> 00:39:27,999 It's like this. 382 00:39:31,296 --> 00:39:33,685 I don't know where it came from... 383 00:39:33,923 --> 00:39:38,394 but suddenly I thought... 384 00:39:38,720 --> 00:39:42,076 What if it doesn't come out as it should? 385 00:39:43,683 --> 00:39:48,683 I felt great pain. 386 00:39:49,356 --> 00:39:52,587 Why did I laugh and joke like that? 387 00:39:52,859 --> 00:39:55,657 It's dangerous. 388 00:39:55,904 --> 00:40:00,853 - Sing first. - But not before breakfast. 389 00:40:01,201 --> 00:40:04,901 It's before dinner. 390 00:40:05,538 --> 00:40:09,438 Then it doesn't count! 391 00:40:12,456 --> 00:40:16,755 Sky! We have visitors in just half an hour. 392 00:40:21,961 --> 00:40:24,419 Hj�rdis, will you comb my hair?? 393 00:40:24,964 --> 00:40:27,832 Keep your arms raised It makes me so tired. 394 00:40:28,827 --> 00:40:30,577 You take. 395 00:40:52,308 --> 00:40:55,380 You should have been a hairdresser. 396 00:40:55,645 --> 00:40:58,557 You have a nice touch. 397 00:40:59,816 --> 00:41:03,604 It's still not too late. You only have one child. 398 00:41:06,948 --> 00:41:10,145 So you could support your little one. 399 00:41:10,410 --> 00:41:13,083 My hairdresser supports two children... 400 00:41:13,329 --> 00:41:16,878 and I don't know two nicer children. 401 00:41:38,938 --> 00:41:43,807 Hey! How well you do it! I look ready for a party! 402 00:41:44,152 --> 00:41:47,781 Believe me, you would earn some money! 403 00:41:49,449 --> 00:41:51,449 My God! 404 00:41:52,994 --> 00:41:56,623 - Should I wear makeup? - Yes, show me how you are. 405 00:41:58,750 --> 00:42:00,500 Leaves! 406 00:42:17,936 --> 00:42:20,928 - And you? - Nobody comes to visit me. 407 00:42:21,189 --> 00:42:24,261 Sit down. You come. 408 00:42:25,568 --> 00:42:29,527 You won't look as beautiful as me, but you can still be cute. 409 00:42:29,822 --> 00:42:32,722 Now let's see. 410 00:42:33,952 --> 00:42:38,952 And how do you know that no one will come? 411 00:42:39,332 --> 00:42:43,530 You can't be sure. 412 00:42:45,546 --> 00:42:48,646 No. No, no... 413 00:42:49,259 --> 00:42:52,959 You have to have faith! 414 00:42:54,222 --> 00:42:57,122 Now let's see. 415 00:42:57,475 --> 00:43:00,547 This is better. Now this side. 416 00:43:00,812 --> 00:43:05,328 Stina isn't as stupid as you think. 417 00:43:05,650 --> 00:43:10,246 And so... This is my little girl. 418 00:43:18,037 --> 00:43:20,826 Of course he won't have visitors. 419 00:43:20,856 --> 00:43:23,037 My husband was here this morning 420 00:43:23,751 --> 00:43:26,673 It's nice to have someone who pampers us, right? 421 00:43:26,703 --> 00:43:28,203 Certain. 422 00:43:32,260 --> 00:43:35,570 She will be a wonderful mother. 423 00:43:35,847 --> 00:43:37,963 And her too! 424 00:43:38,182 --> 00:43:41,839 Look, the liver! We must be anemic! 425 00:43:47,900 --> 00:43:52,900 Thyme. They used thyme. 426 00:44:02,582 --> 00:44:05,733 Shall I put your plate here? 427 00:44:06,002 --> 00:44:07,958 Yes, please. 428 00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:32,597 Dad has arrived! 429 00:44:40,286 --> 00:44:45,286 You've been to the cottage to get some flowers? 430 00:44:45,792 --> 00:44:50,343 Yes, I managed to find the time. 431 00:44:50,671 --> 00:44:54,823 I thought about you and the child would have liked them. 432 00:44:56,260 --> 00:45:00,697 Unbought flowers, we have ours! 433 00:45:01,015 --> 00:45:04,849 I will arrive soon, they're rushing him. 434 00:45:05,144 --> 00:45:09,820 They gave me beer and oil of castor. Think, beer! 435 00:45:10,149 --> 00:45:14,028 I've never been able to make you try the beer. I trust in him. 436 00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:19,030 Don't think I'll do it again. It was horrible! 437 00:45:19,367 --> 00:45:24,367 This one looks good, guts. 438 00:45:27,337 --> 00:45:30,412 Have they ever served you del decent food, poor dear? 439 00:45:30,442 --> 00:45:32,003 Don't pity me! 440 00:45:32,033 --> 00:45:34,316 You should have seen the bacon I fried for dinner! 441 00:45:34,346 --> 00:45:36,567 Tasty and crunchy. 442 00:45:40,036 --> 00:45:42,284 Are you looking for Hj�rdis? 443 00:45:47,478 --> 00:45:50,151 - And for dessert... - Hello, Hj�rdis. 444 00:45:53,151 --> 00:45:54,401 HI. 445 00:45:57,155 --> 00:46:01,307 I didn't recognize you with this dress. 446 00:46:04,287 --> 00:46:07,438 - Please, sit down. - Thank you. 447 00:46:14,672 --> 00:46:18,142 Everyone from the ti department they send their regards. 448 00:46:18,426 --> 00:46:21,338 Flowers are for everyone... 449 00:46:21,596 --> 00:46:26,596 I bought them at lunchtime, and I had nowhere to put them, 450 00:46:27,643 --> 00:46:29,665 they definitely need water. 451 00:46:29,812 --> 00:46:34,647 - I'll ask the nurse. - Can you do it? Can you call them? 452 00:46:34,984 --> 00:46:38,135 They come whenever you call them. They pay them for it. 453 00:46:44,243 --> 00:46:47,679 I brought you this too. 454 00:46:47,955 --> 00:46:50,708 Thank you. I don't have it. 455 00:46:53,085 --> 00:46:57,363 - Do they allow you to stand? - Since I no longer have hemorrhages. 456 00:46:57,673 --> 00:47:02,463 So? This means... 457 00:47:02,803 --> 00:47:05,158 You were bleeding a lot at work. 458 00:47:05,389 --> 00:47:10,179 Nurse Signe believed that you would have had an abortion. 459 00:47:10,520 --> 00:47:15,520 I'm too obedient. If I hadn't gone at work, they wouldn't have brought me here... 460 00:47:16,484 --> 00:47:19,362 - Is it that bad? - I would have worked. 461 00:47:19,612 --> 00:47:23,685 They did some to me injections that knocked me out. 462 00:47:25,117 --> 00:47:28,473 What had you done? 463 00:47:28,746 --> 00:47:32,534 The usual... I took some quinine and drank some cognac. 464 00:47:32,833 --> 00:47:37,429 - I jumped rope. I skipped it too much. - I see. 465 00:47:37,755 --> 00:47:41,350 And now? What will you do? 466 00:47:45,930 --> 00:47:50,624 - Benke says that Tage knows someone who... - What if I don't want to? 467 00:47:56,607 --> 00:48:00,885 Just lay down a plastic sheet 468 00:48:01,195 --> 00:48:03,789 on this frame. 469 00:48:04,031 --> 00:48:09,031 You hang it over the bathtub. 470 00:48:09,453 --> 00:48:13,332 And so you won't have to bend down too much when you wash it. 471 00:48:13,624 --> 00:48:18,414 A plastic sheet is not expensive. 472 00:48:18,754 --> 00:48:22,037 I can buy a sheet of plywood to put his things. 473 00:48:22,258 --> 00:48:26,892 You put it in the bathroom, and there you can keep his bottles. 474 00:48:29,307 --> 00:48:32,982 Navel powder, baby powder, hair powder. 475 00:48:33,269 --> 00:48:37,740 There's no powder in your hair, you fool! 476 00:48:39,734 --> 00:48:44,489 Won't the steam cause the sheet to curl? 477 00:48:44,822 --> 00:48:49,687 Not if you make it out of plywood. It's tough as hell. It will not sag. 478 00:48:54,540 --> 00:48:58,328 You decided all this when couldn't you sleep? 479 00:48:58,628 --> 00:49:01,540 Yes, I got up and I made a drawing. 480 00:49:01,797 --> 00:49:06,154 I stayed up smelling your bathrobe for a while. 481 00:49:06,469 --> 00:49:10,572 I opened the wardrobe, looked at the baby's shirts and trousers. 482 00:49:14,268 --> 00:49:17,977 Then I went to bed and I slept like a log. 483 00:49:18,272 --> 00:49:22,663 You know what? You're crazy like me! 484 00:49:26,614 --> 00:49:28,844 Visiting hours are over. 485 00:49:30,618 --> 00:49:34,008 - Goodbye. - Hello, mom. 486 00:49:34,288 --> 00:49:38,122 Don't take it that way. 487 00:49:38,417 --> 00:49:42,251 Don't be silly. 488 00:49:49,845 --> 00:49:51,095 HI. 489 00:49:54,725 --> 00:49:57,000 Say hello to the boy! 490 00:50:02,274 --> 00:50:05,855 My moment of beauty It's over... short but sweet! 491 00:50:58,998 --> 00:51:02,354 - Do you want something to sleep in? - I don't take pills. 492 00:51:02,626 --> 00:51:07,336 You might need it first night. Has the pain stopped? 493 00:51:07,673 --> 00:51:10,585 - It's beating. - He's waiting. 494 00:51:10,843 --> 00:51:13,943 I'll put them here. 495 00:51:15,848 --> 00:51:18,487 I guess that for today he's had enough. 496 00:51:18,726 --> 00:51:22,401 The taste of castor oil gets me ruined dinner, but it was good anyway. 497 00:51:22,688 --> 00:51:25,760 The end justifies the means, Mrs Andersson. 498 00:51:26,025 --> 00:51:31,025 - How beautiful. - They come from our summer cottage. 499 00:51:31,405 --> 00:51:36,274 - Greetings to your son. - All right, nurse. 500 00:51:37,536 --> 00:51:39,686 - Can I turn off the light? - Yes. 501 00:51:39,914 --> 00:51:43,668 - Good night and sleep well! - Good night. 502 00:53:07,167 --> 00:53:11,319 It's final time feeding of the day. 503 00:53:19,763 --> 00:53:23,199 My stomach hurts. 504 00:53:23,475 --> 00:53:27,150 Maybe he will be born this night. 505 00:53:27,438 --> 00:53:30,538 He wouldn't dare. 506 00:53:30,900 --> 00:53:34,256 He should be ashamed, ruin his mother's sleep! 507 00:53:39,199 --> 00:53:42,475 But he is welcome. 508 00:53:43,746 --> 00:53:46,260 This night. 509 00:53:48,792 --> 00:53:53,792 I want him to be baptized in church. 510 00:53:55,591 --> 00:53:58,788 Even if Harry still doesn't agree. 511 00:53:59,053 --> 00:54:00,553 Harry. 512 00:54:02,473 --> 00:54:06,227 It's truly wonderful. 513 00:54:06,518 --> 00:54:10,750 But there are things he cannot understand. 514 00:54:11,065 --> 00:54:14,211 Have you already decided what name you will give it? 515 00:54:14,241 --> 00:54:15,536 Harry, of course. 516 00:54:15,861 --> 00:54:19,058 Like his father. It's decided. 517 00:54:19,323 --> 00:54:23,111 And Konrad as my father. What a name! Real? 518 00:54:23,410 --> 00:54:27,032 And Torsten as Harry's father. 519 00:54:28,362 --> 00:54:32,124 Everyone thinks that we'll have to call it that. 520 00:54:32,419 --> 00:54:36,412 But to me he will always be little Harry. 521 00:54:42,846 --> 00:54:44,837 Oh, dear. 522 00:54:45,057 --> 00:54:50,057 It will be wonderful power go back to sleeping on your stomach! 523 00:54:50,854 --> 00:54:54,563 Well, little ones, it's time to sleep. 524 00:54:54,858 --> 00:54:59,613 Time to dream, like my mother always said. 525 00:54:59,947 --> 00:55:02,847 And to sleep. 526 00:55:05,828 --> 00:55:10,185 - Good night and sleep well! - Good night. 527 00:55:10,499 --> 00:55:13,252 Sweet dreams. 528 00:55:46,452 --> 00:55:50,445 It's begun, nurse! It's coming. 529 00:55:53,125 --> 00:55:56,913 How close are they? 530 00:55:57,212 --> 00:56:00,170 Every five or six minutes. 531 00:56:00,424 --> 00:56:03,700 We'll take her to the delivery room. 532 00:56:05,387 --> 00:56:08,495 It's time, girls! How happy I am! 533 00:56:11,810 --> 00:56:14,688 And sweet, dear nurse... 534 00:56:14,938 --> 00:56:19,938 Make sure the flowers come in the morning be brought down. I'm from... 535 00:56:24,448 --> 00:56:28,885 Don't be afraid, girl, It's wonderful, it's life! 536 00:56:34,124 --> 00:56:37,002 I hope you can go back to sleep. 537 00:56:47,304 --> 00:56:49,818 Nurse Inga-Britt. 538 00:56:51,600 --> 00:56:54,273 - Is that your bed? - Safe. 539 00:56:54,520 --> 00:56:56,715 Will he be the heir prince? 540 00:56:56,939 --> 00:56:59,294 Please, stand up. 541 00:57:11,120 --> 00:57:13,190 Breathe in deeply. 542 00:57:13,413 --> 00:57:18,168 I was bragging about everything this time that I will be a boy, 543 00:57:18,502 --> 00:57:23,098 but he will be just as happy be that as it may. 544 00:57:23,423 --> 00:57:28,423 - But I think... - I also believe so, and very quickly. 545 00:57:29,012 --> 00:57:31,572 It will be quick, Mrs Andersson. 546 00:57:31,807 --> 00:57:36,517 - How do you feel? - Wonderfully. 547 00:57:38,689 --> 00:57:41,362 I think the head is down. 548 00:58:09,052 --> 00:58:12,169 Is he pushing during contractions? 549 00:58:15,225 --> 00:58:17,500 I think so. 550 00:58:20,355 --> 00:58:23,984 Let me know when you get it next contraction. 551 00:58:29,114 --> 00:58:31,753 I think it's coming. 552 00:58:39,041 --> 00:58:41,919 Breathe in deeply and hold your breath. 553 00:58:42,169 --> 00:58:45,764 Push your chin towards your chest! 554 00:58:46,048 --> 00:58:50,200 Push. It's the best thing. 555 00:58:50,510 --> 00:58:54,389 Keep holding your breath! You keep pushing. 556 00:59:05,359 --> 00:59:09,272 - Are the contractions over? - I do not know. 557 00:59:28,765 --> 00:59:33,759 - Can you sleep? - No. 558 00:59:34,104 --> 00:59:38,336 It's impossible. I'm wide awake. 559 00:59:41,564 --> 00:59:42,621 Me too. 560 00:59:55,223 --> 00:59:58,533 - Can I sit down for a moment? - Yes. 561 00:59:58,810 --> 01:00:02,689 Put that blanket on, so as not to get cold. 562 01:00:09,137 --> 01:00:12,766 I wish I had a cigarette. 563 01:00:15,852 --> 01:00:19,242 - Take one. - And if someone comes. 564 01:00:19,522 --> 01:00:23,356 In the middle of the night, no one will come. 565 01:00:35,346 --> 01:00:38,065 It doesn't taste good. 566 01:00:40,643 --> 01:00:43,157 I can't taste anything. 567 01:00:43,396 --> 01:00:48,396 - Because of the damned child! - Don't say that. 568 01:00:48,860 --> 01:00:53,138 - He didn't do anything wrong. - No. 569 01:00:53,448 --> 01:00:55,698 But I do. 570 01:01:15,678 --> 01:01:20,678 You think I'm horrible. Me too. 571 01:01:21,768 --> 01:01:24,328 I think I'm horrible. 572 01:01:24,562 --> 01:01:29,562 I don't want to answer the way I do, but the words fall from my lips. 573 01:01:30,860 --> 01:01:35,092 It's like biting someone who you don't want to get hurt. 574 01:01:35,406 --> 01:01:39,516 Then at night, when I can't sleep, I get angry with myself. 575 01:01:42,747 --> 01:01:46,137 Everything grows and grows and It piles up on me. 576 01:01:46,417 --> 01:01:49,727 And I go lower and lower. 577 01:01:50,004 --> 01:01:55,004 Whatever he does, it's bad, and I don't know what to do! 578 01:01:56,385 --> 01:01:58,341 Curse! 579 01:02:00,765 --> 01:02:04,553 What a mess I made. I dropped the cigarette. 580 01:02:04,852 --> 01:02:07,650 They will notice that someone has been smoking. 581 01:02:07,897 --> 01:02:10,616 I'll say it was me. 582 01:02:10,858 --> 01:02:15,613 - Do you want me to turn on the light? - No, I found it. 583 01:02:21,619 --> 01:02:24,978 You said, “If things were different", what did you mean? 584 01:02:29,127 --> 01:02:34,127 If someone really loved me and wanted to get married to me... 585 01:02:35,091 --> 01:02:39,243 If I had a place to live, a real home. 586 01:02:39,554 --> 01:02:43,149 Then I would be happy and I would probably love the baby. 587 01:02:43,432 --> 01:02:46,742 Certainly not like Stina. 588 01:02:47,019 --> 01:02:50,919 But... in my own way. 589 01:02:52,275 --> 01:02:55,711 I always liked children before. 590 01:02:55,987 --> 01:03:00,060 When first? How long ago? 591 01:03:00,366 --> 01:03:03,200 I got tired of living at home. 592 01:03:03,230 --> 01:03:06,122 Nothing ever happened, and I moved to the city. 593 01:03:07,123 --> 01:03:09,842 Do you think your parents will help you? 594 01:03:10,084 --> 01:03:12,837 No. 595 01:03:13,087 --> 01:03:16,796 No. Mom will never forgive me! 596 01:03:17,091 --> 01:03:19,286 It was the last thing he said. 597 01:03:19,510 --> 01:03:21,944 He didn't want me to leave. 598 01:03:22,180 --> 01:03:25,934 He feared this might happen. 599 01:03:26,225 --> 01:03:30,901 "Don't come back to my house dragging a baby. " 600 01:03:31,230 --> 01:03:34,063 All mothers say this. 601 01:03:34,317 --> 01:03:38,549 But in the end they welcome the daughters with open arms. 602 01:03:38,863 --> 01:03:40,774 Not my mother. 603 01:03:40,990 --> 01:03:44,778 My mother has always been very proud and arrogant. 604 01:03:45,077 --> 01:03:48,387 Even though dad is just a lumberjack. 605 01:03:48,664 --> 01:03:53,055 Probably not to him it would matter too much. 606 01:03:53,377 --> 01:03:58,326 - But mom... - And the baby's father? 607 01:03:58,674 --> 01:04:01,905 He's not a father. 608 01:04:02,178 --> 01:04:04,931 He would like to get rid of the child. 609 01:04:05,181 --> 01:04:09,140 He's done it once before! 610 01:04:12,271 --> 01:04:14,021 You see... 611 01:04:15,316 --> 01:04:18,626 I didn't know it was like that. 612 01:04:18,903 --> 01:04:23,903 I didn't know anything. I did everything he told me. 613 01:04:25,785 --> 01:04:29,175 But I wouldn't do it again... ever! 614 01:04:29,455 --> 01:04:33,812 I'd rather die of suffocation! 615 01:04:41,092 --> 01:04:45,961 Because he didn't leave me when did all this start? 616 01:04:46,305 --> 01:04:49,058 It looks like a big lump... 617 01:04:49,308 --> 01:04:54,257 that sucks all my blood. 618 01:04:55,898 --> 01:04:58,776 But what you say is true. 619 01:04:59,026 --> 01:05:02,496 He didn't do anything wrong. 620 01:05:02,780 --> 01:05:07,780 Sometimes at night I think about it. 621 01:05:09,036 --> 01:05:12,726 He didn't do anything wrong. He didn't ask to be born. 622 01:05:16,002 --> 01:05:20,837 So I remember when I was little and I wanted to leave home. 623 01:05:21,173 --> 01:05:26,173 I often wondered: who has decided that I should be born here? 624 01:05:26,762 --> 01:05:29,151 "Who decided that"? 625 01:05:29,390 --> 01:05:33,072 In any case I had an acceptable life compared to what he will have. 626 01:05:33,102 --> 01:05:36,458 Without a father and all. 627 01:05:36,731 --> 01:05:39,848 When he grows up he will ask himself: 628 01:05:40,109 --> 01:05:42,020 "Why did you bring me into the world"? 629 01:05:42,236 --> 01:05:46,434 “It would have been better if you had me left to die at birth. " 630 01:05:50,786 --> 01:05:54,062 I always believe you should talk to your mother. 631 01:05:54,332 --> 01:05:56,846 Mothers are not always what one thinks. 632 01:05:57,084 --> 01:06:02,084 They have been young and have not Forgotten what it means to be young. 633 01:06:04,425 --> 01:06:09,340 Sorry, Hjordis, but I think the sleeping pill is taking effect. 634 01:06:09,680 --> 01:06:11,920 I got it when Stina left. 635 01:06:12,016 --> 01:06:14,291 Why don't you try to sleep too? 636 01:06:14,518 --> 01:06:16,748 I cannot. 637 01:06:16,979 --> 01:06:20,972 I try and I try, but it makes me feel more awake. 638 01:06:21,275 --> 01:06:23,186 I feel restless. 639 01:06:23,402 --> 01:06:27,361 Why don't you get one sleeping pill? 640 01:06:36,415 --> 01:06:39,566 Not taking your meds? 641 01:06:39,835 --> 01:06:44,226 I can't avoid injections, but I don't take pills. 642 01:06:44,548 --> 01:06:47,426 You have a very strong baby, 643 01:06:47,676 --> 01:06:50,236 who organizes himself to stay awake. 644 01:06:50,471 --> 01:06:53,941 I don't know what the sleeping pill is. 645 01:06:54,225 --> 01:06:58,582 This yellow one is equal to the one I took. 646 01:06:58,896 --> 01:07:03,845 - This might make me sleep. - Yes, I'm sure it will help you. 647 01:07:08,697 --> 01:07:10,733 Good night, Hjordis. 648 01:07:10,950 --> 01:07:14,704 I'm already almost asleep. 649 01:07:29,635 --> 01:07:33,423 He is destined to be a strong boy. 650 01:07:37,518 --> 01:07:42,518 Push your chin towards chest and hold your breath! 651 01:07:43,023 --> 01:07:45,412 Just a little more! Like that! 652 01:07:45,651 --> 01:07:50,008 String. String. So. 653 01:07:51,991 --> 01:07:53,947 We're almost there. 654 01:07:59,582 --> 01:08:03,131 Easy. Rest. 655 01:08:03,419 --> 01:08:08,419 Rest a bit and catch your breath. But it must remain lying down. 656 01:08:20,394 --> 01:08:23,750 Will it take much longer? 657 01:08:28,110 --> 01:08:32,509 - Is there a pause between contractions? - No, they are continuous. 658 01:08:32,698 --> 01:08:37,698 - Has the pain stopped? - No, it still hurts. 659 01:08:38,120 --> 01:08:41,863 Dear God, I didn't imagine that it would have been so difficult. 660 01:09:07,900 --> 01:09:10,539 Try to relax, Mrs Andersson. 661 01:09:10,778 --> 01:09:13,611 You try and breathe slowly. 662 01:09:13,864 --> 01:09:18,221 - I'm going to call Dr. Melin. - Tell him to hurry. 663 01:10:05,124 --> 01:10:09,800 We'll have to give her anesthesia, Mrs Andersson. 664 01:10:10,129 --> 01:10:13,166 - Is something going wrong? - He's a little agitated. 665 01:10:13,424 --> 01:10:17,133 It will be better if he falls asleep. 666 01:10:17,428 --> 01:10:21,740 Not with forceps! It could hurt the little one! 667 01:10:22,057 --> 01:10:25,936 I will succeed! I... I... 668 01:10:26,228 --> 01:10:28,901 It's for his own good. 669 01:10:29,148 --> 01:10:34,087 Please count with me. One, two, three, 670 01:10:36,822 --> 01:10:41,373 four, five, six... 671 01:10:48,517 --> 01:10:50,473 Good morning! 672 01:10:57,234 --> 01:11:01,307 - Is it time already? - I heard screams. 673 01:11:01,613 --> 01:11:04,571 I wonder who he's doing all this noise. 674 01:11:04,825 --> 01:11:08,784 You won't have to ask for long. This is your stop. 675 01:11:09,079 --> 01:11:14,079 Oh, you're starving! Come on, little man. You come. 676 01:11:14,460 --> 01:11:18,089 God, I'm dripping everywhere. 677 01:11:18,380 --> 01:11:20,177 Come, hurry. 678 01:11:47,201 --> 01:11:50,716 Is he already bringing flowers? 679 01:11:50,996 --> 01:11:55,274 Only this branch... Last night I promised I would bring it. 680 01:11:55,584 --> 01:11:59,338 - Did you have the baby? - I think so, they brought her at midnight. 681 01:11:59,630 --> 01:12:03,589 She was here first, but in another room. 682 01:12:03,884 --> 01:12:07,843 This is no way to behave! 683 01:12:08,138 --> 01:12:13,138 Swallow it all, in one fell swoop! 684 01:12:13,560 --> 01:12:15,630 Now the burp. 685 01:12:38,043 --> 01:12:39,999 Nurse Maud? 686 01:13:44,359 --> 01:13:48,591 Nurse Brita, what happened? 687 01:13:48,906 --> 01:13:50,976 The child is dead. 688 01:13:51,199 --> 01:13:56,199 It sounds like she's in labor you were too violent. 689 01:13:57,581 --> 01:14:02,336 She was so anxious and so happy! It doesn't happen often. 690 01:14:02,669 --> 01:14:06,981 - Do you know? - I think so. 691 01:14:07,299 --> 01:14:09,654 I am cold. 692 01:14:12,304 --> 01:14:16,263 I'll bring you another blanket, Mrs. Anderson. 693 01:14:58,517 --> 01:15:00,667 What do we do? 694 01:15:00,894 --> 01:15:05,843 Nothing, Hjordis. There isn't nothing we can do. 695 01:15:08,110 --> 01:15:10,180 It's so horrible, 696 01:15:10,404 --> 01:15:13,396 as if life itself were dead. 697 01:15:13,657 --> 01:15:18,657 As if nothing could be born again. 698 01:15:19,162 --> 01:15:23,599 The doctors are doing the their tour and soon they will be here. 699 01:15:46,982 --> 01:15:50,418 - How are you Mrs. Ellius? - Pretty good, I suppose. 700 01:15:50,694 --> 01:15:52,730 I feel a little pain. 701 01:15:52,946 --> 01:15:56,905 - Did she get up? - No. 702 01:16:03,915 --> 01:16:08,272 This afternoon it may go down out of bed for a while. 703 01:16:20,223 --> 01:16:23,181 Why did he die? 704 01:16:29,691 --> 01:16:33,240 I feel as helpless as she does. 705 01:16:33,528 --> 01:16:37,885 I'm very sorry. It wasn't there nothing wrong with her. 706 01:16:38,200 --> 01:16:43,069 And as far as I can see, it wasn't there nothing wrong with the baby either. 707 01:16:43,413 --> 01:16:46,485 But... life was denied to him. 708 01:16:46,750 --> 01:16:51,221 This may sound cruel. 709 01:16:51,546 --> 01:16:54,504 That's all I can say. 710 01:16:54,758 --> 01:16:56,714 But. 711 01:16:57,928 --> 01:17:00,283 But. 712 01:17:00,514 --> 01:17:03,814 Yesterday he was alive! 713 01:17:06,645 --> 01:17:10,081 I felt him kick! 714 01:17:11,316 --> 01:17:13,816 Last night. 715 01:17:15,153 --> 01:17:18,702 But he didn't survive at the last step. 716 01:17:18,990 --> 01:17:21,868 As far as we know, this was too much for him. 717 01:17:22,119 --> 01:17:25,191 It could be due to the changes in the placenta... 718 01:17:25,455 --> 01:17:28,174 caused by delay in childbirth. 719 01:17:28,416 --> 01:17:33,416 It's likely the next one once in a while everything will be fine. 720 01:17:46,977 --> 01:17:49,093 I think we can discharge her. 721 01:17:49,312 --> 01:17:54,261 First I will meet the receptionist Gran, I will help you. 722 01:18:24,880 --> 01:18:26,598 Yes, room E. 723 01:18:34,473 --> 01:18:37,226 You can't put them there now! 724 01:18:37,476 --> 01:18:42,476 - The flowers are his. - But he can't. I'll ask Brita. 725 01:18:42,981 --> 01:18:47,981 Yes. X-ray, tomorrow at ten. Thank you. 726 01:18:48,654 --> 01:18:53,654 Brita, don't let that happen no one takes them to Stina! 727 01:18:59,164 --> 01:19:02,122 We'll put them here, Hjordis. 728 01:19:04,586 --> 01:19:09,586 He's shaking. Get dressed, I'll be leaving here soon. 729 01:19:10,884 --> 01:19:14,585 It's so horrible in there. Death everywhere. 730 01:19:17,516 --> 01:19:20,713 Nurse Brita? 731 01:19:20,978 --> 01:19:25,978 He lends me some money to call my mother? 732 01:19:26,733 --> 01:19:28,233 Certain. 733 01:19:29,653 --> 01:19:33,407 He will hold my hand while I speak with her? It won't take long. 734 01:19:33,699 --> 01:19:38,056 - What is the number? - Soderasen 975. 735 01:19:40,914 --> 01:19:43,762 Clinic nurse Brita. I'd like to make a call. 736 01:19:43,792 --> 01:19:48,741 Could you put me in touch with Soderasen 975. Thank you. 737 01:19:57,097 --> 01:19:59,008 Ward 2, nurse Brita. 738 01:19:59,224 --> 01:20:01,924 One moment. 739 01:20:06,682 --> 01:20:09,382 975? Mom? 740 01:20:13,063 --> 01:20:17,022 Mom? I'm Hjordis... 741 01:20:18,652 --> 01:20:22,804 I got sick and I'm been in hospital. 742 01:20:23,115 --> 01:20:25,470 But now I feel better. 743 01:20:27,703 --> 01:20:29,203 Mom? 744 01:20:29,830 --> 01:20:34,585 Mom... I'm pregnant... that's why I was sick. 745 01:20:34,918 --> 01:20:39,469 I thought about having an abortion but I can't... 746 01:20:39,798 --> 01:20:43,148 Mom, I want to hold the baby, but I'm alone... 747 01:20:49,049 --> 01:20:50,549 Can I? 748 01:20:51,552 --> 01:20:56,552 Even if your worst Has the nightmare come true? 749 01:20:57,433 --> 01:21:02,433 I'll be home tomorrow! I'll take the night train! 750 01:21:03,021 --> 01:21:05,581 Hi, mom. 751 01:21:11,280 --> 01:21:13,919 Did you hear that, Nurse Brita? 752 01:21:14,361 --> 01:21:17,195 “Come quickly,” he told me. 753 01:21:17,453 --> 01:21:19,646 I can't believe it. 754 01:21:19,676 --> 01:21:22,163 And I was so afraid of her! 755 01:21:22,499 --> 01:21:25,536 Do you have money for the ticket, Hjordis? 756 01:21:25,794 --> 01:21:28,991 No, I don't have it. How do I do it? 757 01:21:29,256 --> 01:21:33,886 I will lend you the money. Gran will reimburse it to me. 758 01:21:34,219 --> 01:21:36,813 - How much will it cost? - 27.50 crowns. 759 01:21:37,055 --> 01:21:41,606 - I'll give you a receipt. - It's not necessary. 760 01:21:41,935 --> 01:21:45,653 No, I want to do it. From now on I want that everything is done as it should! 761 01:21:45,689 --> 01:21:50,689 - Is 50 crowns enough? - Oh, yes, until I find a house! 762 01:21:58,368 --> 01:22:00,368 All right? 763 01:22:02,247 --> 01:22:07,002 If everything goes well, It will be thanks to you, Brita. 764 01:22:07,336 --> 01:22:11,807 No, I always knew that it was all up to you! 765 01:22:12,132 --> 01:22:15,090 Ward 2, nurse Brita. 766 01:22:15,344 --> 01:22:17,175 All right. 767 01:22:17,387 --> 01:22:21,175 Yes. Yes, many thanks. 768 01:22:21,475 --> 01:22:25,593 - You and Anders are a beautiful couple! - Greta... 769 01:22:25,896 --> 01:22:30,845 Normally I don't get in the way in the affairs of others. 770 01:22:35,531 --> 01:22:38,807 But Anders is my brother and it means a lot to me. 771 01:22:39,076 --> 01:22:43,354 - You have to understand. - Understand what? 772 01:22:43,664 --> 01:22:47,259 That women like me don't they should never get married... 773 01:22:47,543 --> 01:22:52,458 We are quite independent for wanting to live alone... 774 01:22:52,798 --> 01:22:55,358 but not enough to sustain 775 01:22:55,592 --> 01:23:00,592 the person we get married to. 776 01:23:03,559 --> 01:23:06,915 Living alone is the only option. 777 01:23:09,690 --> 01:23:13,046 What do you think loneliness is? 778 01:23:13,318 --> 01:23:17,277 A cold serenity, an inviolable security? 779 01:23:17,573 --> 01:23:20,531 This is an illusion, Cissi. 780 01:23:20,784 --> 01:23:25,784 True solitude is a feat. 781 01:23:26,373 --> 01:23:30,764 With fear constantly lurking. 782 01:23:31,086 --> 01:23:34,635 A constant fear, Cissi. 783 01:23:37,759 --> 01:23:41,638 - Can you bear it? - Despite everything, I think so. 784 01:23:41,930 --> 01:23:46,685 This isn't all due to your complex fault and your current physical condition? 785 01:23:47,019 --> 01:23:50,534 This physical condition you speak of... 786 01:23:50,814 --> 01:23:54,124 I'm leaving and I'd like to say goodbye. 787 01:23:54,401 --> 01:23:56,835 - We don't have time to... - I'm going home. 788 01:23:57,070 --> 01:24:01,109 - From your mother? - Thanks for everything. 789 01:24:01,408 --> 01:24:03,922 She was very kind. 790 01:24:04,161 --> 01:24:08,598 Stina is sleeping. You can tell him you that I'm going home? 791 01:24:08,915 --> 01:24:13,670 Of course, Hjordis! Good luck! 792 01:24:19,968 --> 01:24:23,165 Anyway, you can't behave like you did yesterday... 793 01:24:23,430 --> 01:24:27,946 Anders is destroyed. It fails to understand. You have to talk about it. 794 01:24:28,268 --> 01:24:30,862 Yes, we'll talk about it again. 795 01:24:31,104 --> 01:24:34,176 Do I tell him to come tonight? 796 01:24:34,441 --> 01:24:39,231 Tell him to come if he wants, and if he is not too tired.