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♪ Yeah ♪
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00:00:06,721 --> 00:00:08,379
[KRS-ONE's "Step Into A World" plays]
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♪ Step into a world ♪
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00:00:10,231 --> 00:00:11,898
♪ Where there's no... ♪
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Eighth grade done, son. I made it.
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_
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[Music stops]
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Can you do that again for the camera?
9
00:00:21,431 --> 00:00:22,330
[Scoffs] No, man.
10
00:00:22,399 --> 00:00:23,431
And put that away.
11
00:00:23,500 --> 00:00:25,200
The graduation ceremony is over.
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The end of another school year.
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[Door closes]
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I'm have to say,
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I'm starting to think moving to Orlando
16
00:00:30,474 --> 00:00:31,473
was a good idea.
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We've been here for three years.
18
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Eddie finished middle school...
19
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It's been a long haul
20
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since starting on that Wednesday.
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Cattleman's is going great...
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Well, pretty soon Golden Saddle
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will be copying me copying them.
24
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And I just got my biggest listing yet...
25
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A house in Gulf Mist Estates.
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That fancy gated community?
27
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Damn, woman. Right?
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We should celebrate.
29
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Turn on the A.C.
30
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[Gasps]
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- Evan: Yes.
- O-oh!
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We're doing it, Jessica...
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We're living the American dream,
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just like... the landlord!
35
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Quick, hide your grandmother!
36
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You still haven't added
her to the lease?
37
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No, it's 100 extra bucks a month.
38
00:01:04,074 --> 00:01:05,006
Are you gonna pay it?
39
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Move, move! Put her in the pantry!
40
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Go, go, go, go!
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Synced and corrected by johnyd13
~ www.addic7ed.com ~
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♪ Fresh off the boat ♪
43
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♪ I'm gettin' mine everywhere I go ♪
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♪ If you don't know,
homey, now you know ♪
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♪ Fresh off the boat ♪
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♪ Homey, you don't know
where I come from ♪
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♪ But I know where I'm goin' ♪
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♪ I'm fresh off the boat ♪
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♪
50
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Another debate team victory.
51
00:01:27,197 --> 00:01:29,064
I still haven't heard one good reason
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why we shouldn't
have capital punishment.
53
00:01:31,335 --> 00:01:33,635
You'll never sell me
on the electric chair.
54
00:01:33,737 --> 00:01:36,238
That power bill must be so high.
55
00:01:36,340 --> 00:01:38,540
I have to make a quick stop
to meet my new client.
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By all means, by all means.
57
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Whoa.
58
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This place looks nice.
59
00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:47,415
- Eddie Murphy's mistress lives here.
- Oh.
60
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We've had a lot of trouble
trying to sell this place.
61
00:01:50,587 --> 00:01:52,654
It's a tough market for
high-end real estate.
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00:01:52,756 --> 00:01:54,222
I'll still find you a buyer.
63
00:01:54,324 --> 00:01:55,323
[Sighs] Okay.
64
00:01:55,425 --> 00:01:56,891
I like your debate blazer.
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The gold buttons
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whisper power instead of shouting it.
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It's actually my everyday blazer.
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I go to St. Orlando's Prep.
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Private school... Do you love it?
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I bet you love it.
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I love it.
72
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Every two years,
73
00:02:09,306 --> 00:02:11,339
they refresh all of the library books
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so the pages are always crisp.
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Girl.
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For real.
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My mom's a librarian there.
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00:02:16,913 --> 00:02:18,980
Did I mention they give us briefcases?
79
00:02:20,017 --> 00:02:22,851
They have uniforms,
an amazing debate team...
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00:02:22,953 --> 00:02:24,753
a science lab that is an actual lab.
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00:02:24,855 --> 00:02:26,321
They even line up for
the water fountain,
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unlike the savages at my school.
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[All kids shouting]
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Girl: [Screams]
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Can I please go to St.
Orlando's next year, Mommy?
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"Saint"? Sounds expensive.
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But I really want to be with
a higher echelon of people.
88
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Did you just learn the world "echelon"?
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Yes, and I would have learned it sooner
90
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if I went to St. Orlando's.
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Private school is a waste of money.
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It's for parents who
outsource their discipline.
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But the private-school kids
call each other "Chum"!
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I don't need to pay people
to push you guys to succeed.
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[Sighs] I already do that myself.
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The Menendez brothers
went to private school,
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and look what happened to them.
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Who are they?
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Doesn't matter.
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The important thing is
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they didn't get away with it.
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♪
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Check out my new weapon
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against the scourge of
dead palm fronds...
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My telescopic pruner.
106
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- Mm! Heh.
- [Laughs]
107
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I'll tell ya. The right tool
can make yard work a hoot.
108
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[Laughs] I've always dreamed
of owning a sit-down lawn mower.
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I'd cut grass,
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reenact scenes from
"Can't Buy Me Love"...
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Well, do it.
112
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Your restaurant's doing well.
113
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You can afford one.
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My yard doesn't belong to me.
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I rent.
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I can't pluck a dandelion
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without hearing about it
from my landlord Murray.
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I can't wait to be a homeowner.
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A man should own his own house.
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Murray's open to selling,
121
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but Jessica and I are very strict
122
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about our long-term plans.
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We agreed for the next three years
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we reinvest everything
into our businesses.
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[Crunch]
126
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Oh, man!
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That was Honey's favorite flamingo.
128
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She's gonna be P.O.'d.
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Aw.
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[Door bell chimes]
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Hey.
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00:04:02,185 --> 00:04:03,284
Evan said he'd pay for my manicure
133
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if I talked to you about St. Orlando's.
134
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I'm an alumna... I...
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Evan: Will you please hear her out?
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I know private school is expensive,
137
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but we only have to send me.
138
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The "Others" don't need to know.
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Come with me.
140
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These... are life plans.
141
00:04:23,073 --> 00:04:25,206
I made one for each
member of the family,
142
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and I update them every five years.
143
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I've mapped out all the
classes and experiences
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you boys need to be successful
and lead good lives.
145
00:04:33,283 --> 00:04:35,016
Emery's good at so many things,
146
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so I left his career plan open,
147
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and I focused on his personal life.
148
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Eddie's plan was easy
because the goal was simple.
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♪ Yeah ♪
150
00:04:45,362 --> 00:04:46,761
And here is your plan.
151
00:04:48,565 --> 00:04:51,032
I've thought of everything.
152
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- I've already seen these boards.
- What do you mean?
153
00:04:53,503 --> 00:04:55,236
I use the garage as a cartwheel zone
154
00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:57,071
when I want to express joy in private.
155
00:04:57,140 --> 00:04:59,073
But I wasn't planning
on you finding them
156
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for another two years.
157
00:05:00,243 --> 00:05:02,310
You're ahead of schedule.
158
00:05:02,345 --> 00:05:04,846
And I'm ahead of everyone
in my class, too.
159
00:05:04,948 --> 00:05:07,081
That's why I want to
go to St. Orlando's.
160
00:05:07,184 --> 00:05:09,150
I could just give you more C.L.C.
161
00:05:09,219 --> 00:05:11,186
I've already done all the workbooks...
162
00:05:11,288 --> 00:05:13,121
Even the French one.
163
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[Speaks French]
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♪
165
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Jessica: You have five
minutes to convince me
166
00:05:21,198 --> 00:05:22,597
why private school's better for my son
167
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than public school.
168
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I'll only need four.
169
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Eddie: Emery, that squirrel
was on the porch again.
170
00:05:33,043 --> 00:05:34,809
We need to bean him in the
head with your marbles.
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[Mouse clicking]
172
00:05:36,179 --> 00:05:37,345
- Is that a Pentium II?
- Yep.
173
00:05:37,414 --> 00:05:39,380
I borrowed it form the
A/V club for the summer.
174
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Check it out,
175
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I'm editing your graduation video.
176
00:05:41,651 --> 00:05:43,585
We are gathered to say goodbye
177
00:05:43,687 --> 00:05:46,120
[Voice breaking] to the glass of 1997.
178
00:05:47,424 --> 00:05:48,823
Whoa, it's like "Pop Up Video"!
179
00:05:48,925 --> 00:05:50,191
Isn't it cool?
180
00:05:50,260 --> 00:05:52,727
As the great Boyz II Men once said,
181
00:05:52,796 --> 00:05:55,930
"It's so hard to say
goodbye to yesterday."
182
00:05:56,031 --> 00:05:57,891
_
183
00:05:57,901 --> 00:05:59,501
- [Clicks]
- So funny, right?
184
00:06:01,471 --> 00:06:02,103
Sure.
185
00:06:02,205 --> 00:06:03,004
Snack break...
186
00:06:03,073 --> 00:06:03,972
You guys want anything?
187
00:06:04,074 --> 00:06:05,106
You know we do.
188
00:06:07,177 --> 00:06:08,543
You guys want to have some fun?
189
00:06:08,645 --> 00:06:10,078
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
190
00:06:11,239 --> 00:06:13,982
Lou, I've been thinking
about what you said.
191
00:06:14,084 --> 00:06:15,350
About dandelions? I know.
192
00:06:15,452 --> 00:06:17,018
I regret sharing that with you.
193
00:06:17,053 --> 00:06:17,952
It felt very personal.
194
00:06:18,021 --> 00:06:18,987
No, no, no.
195
00:06:19,089 --> 00:06:20,688
About you wanting to own your own house.
196
00:06:20,757 --> 00:06:22,423
I have a friend that can help you
197
00:06:22,526 --> 00:06:23,791
free up some cash.
198
00:06:23,860 --> 00:06:26,327
He's outside right now
waiting for my signal.
199
00:06:27,264 --> 00:06:28,763
Now!
200
00:06:28,865 --> 00:06:31,833
[Soft music plays]
201
00:06:37,908 --> 00:06:38,806
Oh, my God. [Chuckles nervously]
202
00:06:38,909 --> 00:06:39,908
Michael Bolton.
203
00:06:39,976 --> 00:06:40,975
[Chuckles nervously, clears throat]
204
00:06:41,077 --> 00:06:42,210
Um, what are you doing here?
205
00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:43,778
Recording my new album in Orlando.
206
00:06:43,847 --> 00:06:47,448
I got to be in Florida
183 days out of the year
207
00:06:47,517 --> 00:06:49,050
for tax purposes.
208
00:06:49,152 --> 00:06:51,419
Savvy in and out of the studio.
209
00:06:51,521 --> 00:06:53,154
[Chuckles]
210
00:06:53,256 --> 00:06:55,123
I've got a proposal for you.
211
00:06:55,191 --> 00:06:57,258
Do you know how many women
would kill to hear me say that?
212
00:06:57,360 --> 00:06:58,726
So many women!
213
00:06:58,828 --> 00:06:59,761
My wife for one.
214
00:06:59,863 --> 00:07:01,162
[Chuckles]
215
00:07:01,231 --> 00:07:03,598
Jessica: I already pay
taxes for public school.
216
00:07:03,633 --> 00:07:07,402
Why would I spend an extra
four grand a year on private.
217
00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:08,536
Well, first of all,
218
00:07:08,605 --> 00:07:10,805
St. Orlando's is a year-round school.
219
00:07:10,907 --> 00:07:12,574
No summer vacation?
220
00:07:12,676 --> 00:07:13,908
I could just stick my kids
221
00:07:13,977 --> 00:07:15,543
in public summer school for free.
222
00:07:15,645 --> 00:07:18,980
Certainly, but half the
kids are forced to be there
223
00:07:19,049 --> 00:07:21,716
because they're, forgive me, "Dum-dums."
224
00:07:21,818 --> 00:07:23,051
Is that really what you want?
225
00:07:23,119 --> 00:07:25,153
Well, what I don't want is to help pay
226
00:07:25,255 --> 00:07:27,121
for your school's football program.
227
00:07:27,223 --> 00:07:28,256
There's no football here.
228
00:07:28,325 --> 00:07:29,791
We teach only the "Networking" sports...
229
00:07:29,859 --> 00:07:33,027
Golf, squash, birding.
230
00:07:33,129 --> 00:07:36,164
That's great. But I'm sure the
teachers here are just as lazy.
231
00:07:36,266 --> 00:07:37,498
Oh, we don't have teachers.
232
00:07:37,567 --> 00:07:39,567
We hire specialists in their field.
233
00:07:39,636 --> 00:07:41,269
We call them "Consultants."
234
00:07:41,338 --> 00:07:43,538
- Continue.
- We're private,
235
00:07:43,607 --> 00:07:45,440
so we can easily fire
236
00:07:45,542 --> 00:07:47,837
any underperforming consultants.
237
00:07:48,678 --> 00:07:49,677
[Exhales sharply]
238
00:07:49,779 --> 00:07:52,080
Did I mention that 99% of our students
239
00:07:52,148 --> 00:07:53,815
go on to Ivy League schools?
240
00:07:53,917 --> 00:07:55,750
The other 1% go straight to med school.
241
00:07:55,819 --> 00:07:58,586
The first step to doctor-president.
242
00:07:58,655 --> 00:08:01,189
We have relationships with
all the top universities.
243
00:08:01,257 --> 00:08:02,590
We send more kids to Harvard
244
00:08:02,692 --> 00:08:04,192
than any other school in Orlando.
245
00:08:04,294 --> 00:08:05,360
And with a student
246
00:08:05,428 --> 00:08:07,428
who is already academically strong,
247
00:08:07,530 --> 00:08:08,529
like your son?
248
00:08:08,598 --> 00:08:10,865
We could send him into the stratosphere.
249
00:08:15,071 --> 00:08:16,838
The astronaut holding the camera
250
00:08:16,940 --> 00:08:19,394
is also a St. Orlando's alum.
251
00:08:21,911 --> 00:08:23,277
One tuition, please.
252
00:08:23,380 --> 00:08:24,412
Yes!
253
00:08:24,514 --> 00:08:25,647
Goodbye, Mommy.
254
00:08:25,749 --> 00:08:27,649
Tell the family I'll
see them in six months.
255
00:08:27,751 --> 00:08:29,217
W-We're not a boarding school.
256
00:08:29,319 --> 00:08:30,451
Ah.
257
00:08:34,379 --> 00:08:36,014
I'll pay for everything but P.E.
258
00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:38,150
Evan can just learn
tennis from his brother.
259
00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:39,184
We can't do that.
260
00:08:39,253 --> 00:08:40,485
Okay, fine.
261
00:08:40,554 --> 00:08:42,688
I'll pay for P.E., but no English.
262
00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:44,589
He gets that free from life.
263
00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:47,059
We don't offer private
school a la carte.
264
00:08:47,127 --> 00:08:48,560
I'll pay the whole year up front,
265
00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:49,561
but you have to give me
266
00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:51,096
a substantial early-bird discount.
267
00:08:51,165 --> 00:08:52,998
It's not that simple.
268
00:08:53,067 --> 00:08:55,600
First your son must be
accepted into this school.
269
00:08:55,703 --> 00:08:57,536
There is an application.
270
00:08:57,604 --> 00:08:58,437
Okay, sure. Whatever.
271
00:08:58,472 --> 00:08:59,638
I'll fill it out right now.
272
00:08:59,707 --> 00:09:01,440
It's more involved than that.
273
00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:03,575
We need letters of recommendation,
274
00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:05,677
transcripts, an interview.
275
00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:06,978
We're highly selective.
276
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:08,113
But...
277
00:09:09,350 --> 00:09:10,839
Diversity.
278
00:09:10,849 --> 00:09:12,684
Oh, we don't have to
worry about that here.
279
00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:13,618
We're private.
280
00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:15,854
So, I have to earn the privilege
281
00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:18,839
to pay your ridiculous tuition?
282
00:09:19,293 --> 00:09:21,093
If my son doesn't get into Harvard,
283
00:09:21,195 --> 00:09:22,894
I want a full refund.
284
00:09:25,541 --> 00:09:27,532
Headmaster.
285
00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:31,136
♪
286
00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:32,671
You want to buy my restaurant?
287
00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:34,239
Well, I've already conquered music,
288
00:09:34,308 --> 00:09:36,141
and it's time to diversify my brand.
289
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:38,143
And Kenny Rogers is doing so well
290
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,045
with his chicken restaurants...
291
00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:41,179
So well.
292
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:43,248
He never lets you forget.
293
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:44,349
I carry this around with me
294
00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:46,284
just to give me motivation.
295
00:09:46,854 --> 00:09:48,920
[Sleigh bells jingle]
296
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:51,056
Hmm.
297
00:09:52,593 --> 00:09:54,600
[Chuckles] Yeah.
298
00:09:54,610 --> 00:09:55,509
Well, I'm flattered,
299
00:09:55,578 --> 00:09:57,111
but my restaurant's not for sale.
300
00:09:57,179 --> 00:09:59,279
I moved my whole family
down here for this,
301
00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:00,447
put a lot of work into it.
302
00:10:00,516 --> 00:10:01,515
I built it from nothing.
303
00:10:01,617 --> 00:10:03,417
What if I come in as a silent partner?
304
00:10:03,452 --> 00:10:05,219
You could still run the day-to-day,
305
00:10:05,287 --> 00:10:06,720
I'd get a stake of the company,
306
00:10:06,789 --> 00:10:08,188
and you get a big cash infusion.
307
00:10:08,257 --> 00:10:11,658
Which you can use to buy your house.
308
00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:12,593
Ayy!
309
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:13,627
Hmm.
310
00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:14,928
That does sound like a good deal.
311
00:10:14,964 --> 00:10:16,663
But Jessica and I have a rule...
312
00:10:16,732 --> 00:10:18,665
We don't deviate from our life plan.
313
00:10:18,767 --> 00:10:20,667
And it's worked out well for us so far.
314
00:10:20,769 --> 00:10:21,702
[Sighs]
315
00:10:21,804 --> 00:10:23,137
Sorry, but the answer is no.
316
00:10:24,173 --> 00:10:25,072
[Exhales sharply]
317
00:10:25,174 --> 00:10:27,207
Michael, I am so sorry.
318
00:10:27,276 --> 00:10:29,109
I don't know what happened.
319
00:10:29,178 --> 00:10:30,978
I'm s... I don't know what happened.
320
00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:32,312
It's okay.
321
00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:33,347
It was worth a shot.
322
00:10:33,415 --> 00:10:34,982
How do you guys even know each other?
323
00:10:35,050 --> 00:10:37,084
Oh, I did some emergency
dental work on him
324
00:10:37,153 --> 00:10:38,886
during his Time, Love and Tenderness tour.
325
00:10:38,988 --> 00:10:40,087
Oh.
326
00:10:40,156 --> 00:10:41,522
I slipped on a bouquet of white roses.
327
00:10:41,624 --> 00:10:43,123
♪
328
00:10:43,225 --> 00:10:44,258
[Computer bleeps]
329
00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:46,026
[Laughter]
330
00:10:46,095 --> 00:10:47,161
Dave: It's not funny, dude.
331
00:10:47,263 --> 00:10:49,096
- _
- [Laughter]
332
00:10:49,165 --> 00:10:50,430
I always wear underwear. Look.
333
00:10:51,500 --> 00:10:53,700
Oh. No. Never mind.
334
00:10:53,802 --> 00:10:55,369
What's going on?
335
00:10:55,471 --> 00:10:57,137
We're turning your
boring gradation video
336
00:10:57,239 --> 00:10:58,438
into gold.
337
00:10:59,208 --> 00:11:02,142
- _
- [Laughter]
338
00:11:03,979 --> 00:11:05,779
- _
- [Laughter]
339
00:11:07,316 --> 00:11:08,682
- _
- [Laughter]
340
00:11:10,886 --> 00:11:12,929
- _
- [Laughter]
341
00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:14,336
Trent, I can't believe
you're a Sparrow Scout.
342
00:11:14,438 --> 00:11:15,270
That's so lame.
343
00:11:15,339 --> 00:11:16,471
I know how to filet a trout.
344
00:11:16,573 --> 00:11:17,706
What can you filet?
345
00:11:17,774 --> 00:11:19,574
You know I don't eat
anything that has a mama.
346
00:11:19,676 --> 00:11:21,576
- [Computer bleeps]
- Brian: Wait, what?
347
00:11:21,645 --> 00:11:23,211
What the hell is this?
348
00:11:23,947 --> 00:11:26,047
- _
- [Laughter]
349
00:11:26,116 --> 00:11:27,716
Who wrote this bubble?
350
00:11:27,818 --> 00:11:28,850
Who thinks this?
351
00:11:28,952 --> 00:11:30,185
No, I want to know.
352
00:11:30,287 --> 00:11:33,221
♪
353
00:11:33,256 --> 00:11:35,890
We should probably update this
to include private school.
354
00:11:35,993 --> 00:11:37,392
Should I get the Wite-Out?
355
00:11:37,494 --> 00:11:39,894
In this family, we don't hide mistakes.
356
00:11:39,963 --> 00:11:41,763
We look at them, feel shame,
357
00:11:41,832 --> 00:11:43,865
and never talk about them again.
358
00:11:43,967 --> 00:11:45,367
Hey, what are you guys doing out here?
359
00:11:45,435 --> 00:11:48,003
I'm just showing Evan our life plans.
360
00:11:48,105 --> 00:11:49,104
Oh, great.
361
00:11:49,172 --> 00:11:50,305
You know, I was just thinking about
362
00:11:50,407 --> 00:11:51,439
how well we've done with those.
363
00:11:51,541 --> 00:11:52,941
Yes, because we're very strict
364
00:11:53,043 --> 00:11:54,309
about sticking to the plan.
365
00:11:54,411 --> 00:11:56,244
Uh, we sure are. [Laughs]
366
00:11:56,346 --> 00:11:57,612
Never stray no matter what.
367
00:11:57,714 --> 00:11:59,147
Otherwise, what's the
point of a plan, right?
368
00:11:59,249 --> 00:12:00,582
Right.
369
00:12:00,684 --> 00:12:01,684
[Chuckles]
370
00:12:02,465 --> 00:12:04,219
Uh, Evan, I don't know if
your mom mentioned this,
371
00:12:04,321 --> 00:12:05,353
but I did all the collage work.
372
00:12:05,455 --> 00:12:07,055
I didn't.
373
00:12:07,157 --> 00:12:08,256
I didn't.
374
00:12:09,026 --> 00:12:10,659
Hmm.
375
00:12:13,630 --> 00:12:15,230
You're not gonna tell him
about private school?
376
00:12:15,332 --> 00:12:16,798
Not yet.
377
00:12:16,933 --> 00:12:18,199
Let's get you in first.
378
00:12:18,301 --> 00:12:20,235
If I'm gonna stray from the plan,
379
00:12:20,303 --> 00:12:21,770
it can't be for just a "Maybe."
380
00:12:21,805 --> 00:12:23,872
[Notorious B.I.G.'s "Mo
Money Mo Problems" plays]
381
00:12:23,940 --> 00:12:26,374
Evan got a kangaroo sticker in math.
382
00:12:26,476 --> 00:12:27,942
Does kangaroo mean "A"?
383
00:12:28,045 --> 00:12:29,711
We don't believe in letter grades.
384
00:12:29,780 --> 00:12:31,346
Well, St. Orlando's does,
385
00:12:31,415 --> 00:12:32,747
so if you had to say
386
00:12:32,849 --> 00:12:35,517
what grade a kangaroo represents,
387
00:12:35,619 --> 00:12:37,519
would you say "A"?
388
00:12:37,587 --> 00:12:39,521
I'd say a "B."
389
00:12:39,623 --> 00:12:41,523
♪ Can't no PhD hold me down ♪
390
00:12:41,591 --> 00:12:42,791
"A"?
391
00:12:42,893 --> 00:12:44,125
♪ Now I know my duty ♪
392
00:12:44,161 --> 00:12:45,360
♪ Stay humble, stay low,
blow like Hootie ♪
393
00:12:45,429 --> 00:12:46,961
Your daughter attends St.
Orlando's, right?
394
00:12:47,030 --> 00:12:48,563
As the parent of a current student,
395
00:12:48,632 --> 00:12:50,198
I need you to sign this
letter of recommendation
396
00:12:50,267 --> 00:12:51,566
I wrote for my son.
397
00:12:51,635 --> 00:12:54,269
I will if you lower your commission.
398
00:12:54,337 --> 00:12:55,303
♪ It's like the mo'
money we come across ♪
399
00:12:55,405 --> 00:12:58,173
♪ The mo' problems we see ♪
400
00:12:58,241 --> 00:12:59,774
You're an alumna of St.
Orlando's, right?
401
00:12:59,876 --> 00:13:01,242
I need you to sign this
letter of recommendation
402
00:13:01,311 --> 00:13:02,143
I wrote for my son.
403
00:13:02,212 --> 00:13:03,845
Oh, I really can't sign anything
404
00:13:03,947 --> 00:13:05,380
with my nails so jacked up.
405
00:13:05,449 --> 00:13:07,449
♪ I'm the D to the A to the D-D-Y ♪
406
00:13:07,517 --> 00:13:09,617
♪ I Know you'd rather see
me die than to see me fly ♪
407
00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:11,953
♪ I call all the shots,
rip all the spots ♪
408
00:13:12,022 --> 00:13:13,755
♪ Rock all the rocks,
cop all the drops ♪
409
00:13:13,890 --> 00:13:15,123
So we agree.
410
00:13:15,225 --> 00:13:16,758
We pool our graduation money
411
00:13:16,827 --> 00:13:18,693
so we can turn this driveway into a gym.
412
00:13:18,795 --> 00:13:20,161
We'll have all summer to get ripped.
413
00:13:20,230 --> 00:13:21,596
We show up to high school yoked out,
414
00:13:21,665 --> 00:13:23,164
and people will think we're sophomores.
415
00:13:23,233 --> 00:13:25,633
I know a great preacher curl workout.
416
00:13:25,702 --> 00:13:27,068
Two of my sisters work at GNC,
417
00:13:27,137 --> 00:13:28,870
so I can hook us up with some creatine.
418
00:13:28,939 --> 00:13:30,939
It's really coming together.
419
00:13:31,041 --> 00:13:32,640
My step-brother has the video.
420
00:13:32,709 --> 00:13:34,743
- What?
- I took it home last night
421
00:13:34,811 --> 00:13:36,478
to work on some more mean
bubbles about you guys,
422
00:13:36,580 --> 00:13:37,512
and he found it in my room.
423
00:13:37,614 --> 00:13:39,080
That dude is a tool.
424
00:13:39,182 --> 00:13:40,582
He's gonna show the tape to everyone.
425
00:13:40,684 --> 00:13:42,684
It won't matter how buff
I am when we start school
426
00:13:42,786 --> 00:13:44,285
if people know I'm a Sparrow Scout.
427
00:13:44,354 --> 00:13:46,521
People will think I want
to do it with a tree.
428
00:13:46,623 --> 00:13:47,555
I'm ruined.
429
00:13:47,657 --> 00:13:48,937
I was gonna go out for football.
430
00:13:50,494 --> 00:13:51,960
I just want your support on this.
431
00:13:52,062 --> 00:13:53,595
Which part, man?
432
00:13:53,697 --> 00:13:55,396
We have to get that tape back.
433
00:13:55,499 --> 00:13:57,532
We can't start high school as losers.
434
00:13:59,536 --> 00:14:01,970
This is the interview
portion of our process.
435
00:14:02,072 --> 00:14:04,139
We just have a few questions to ask you.
436
00:14:04,241 --> 00:14:05,340
It's my pleasure.
437
00:14:05,408 --> 00:14:08,243
So, Evan, what's a
current item in the news
438
00:14:08,345 --> 00:14:09,277
that interests you?
439
00:14:09,379 --> 00:14:10,612
Sheep cloning.
440
00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:12,847
I think it would be a boon
for the sweater industry.
441
00:14:12,949 --> 00:14:13,848
Who do you admire?
442
00:14:13,950 --> 00:14:16,184
Whom do I admire?
443
00:14:18,321 --> 00:14:20,188
Why are you interested in our school?
444
00:14:20,257 --> 00:14:21,823
I'd come for your blazers,
445
00:14:21,892 --> 00:14:22,791
but I'd stay for your
446
00:14:22,893 --> 00:14:24,592
International Baccalaureate program.
447
00:14:25,751 --> 00:14:27,095
Tell me about your family.
448
00:14:27,130 --> 00:14:28,429
They're all good eggs.
449
00:14:28,532 --> 00:14:30,598
We rent a house in North Orlando,
450
00:14:30,667 --> 00:14:32,200
my parents run a steakhouse.
451
00:14:32,302 --> 00:14:33,868
We're just your typical American family
452
00:14:33,970 --> 00:14:35,570
who's overcome incredible odds
453
00:14:35,672 --> 00:14:36,538
to achieve big dreams.
454
00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:39,507
[Chuckles]
455
00:14:39,609 --> 00:14:42,043
Well, that's all of our questions.
456
00:14:42,145 --> 00:14:43,511
No red flags.
457
00:14:43,613 --> 00:14:44,712
[Inhales sharply]
458
00:14:44,815 --> 00:14:46,281
We'll be in touch with you very soon.
459
00:14:46,383 --> 00:14:47,549
♪
460
00:14:47,617 --> 00:14:49,217
[Whispering] Hey, great job.
461
00:14:52,055 --> 00:14:53,955
Evan, it's here.
462
00:14:54,558 --> 00:14:56,357
It's so big!
463
00:14:56,459 --> 00:14:58,226
That means they're sending
us parking instructions,
464
00:14:58,328 --> 00:15:00,829
reading lists, bumper
stickers for the car...
465
00:15:00,931 --> 00:15:04,566
"Dear Mr. Huang,
sorry to inform you that..."
466
00:15:04,668 --> 00:15:05,834
The hell?!
467
00:15:05,936 --> 00:15:08,303
Oh, you didn't get in?
468
00:15:09,695 --> 00:15:11,498
_
469
00:15:11,508 --> 00:15:13,641
And they still sent us these?
470
00:15:18,651 --> 00:15:20,234
How could you not get in?
471
00:15:20,303 --> 00:15:22,470
You have perfect grades,
you killed your interview,
472
00:15:22,539 --> 00:15:24,539
and there is no way they
could tie you back to Eddie.
473
00:15:24,574 --> 00:15:27,041
Well, I guess they don't think
I belong in their echelon.
474
00:15:27,110 --> 00:15:30,244
No. Someone made a mistake.
475
00:15:30,313 --> 00:15:31,612
[Knocks at door]
476
00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:35,116
You messed up, Deidre.
477
00:15:35,185 --> 00:15:37,285
Evan didn't get into St. Orlando's.
478
00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:39,053
It was your letter of recommendation.
479
00:15:39,089 --> 00:15:40,254
Uh, you mean the one that you wrote
480
00:15:40,323 --> 00:15:41,323
and I just signed?
481
00:15:41,656 --> 00:15:44,690
W... It was not a strong signature!
482
00:15:44,759 --> 00:15:47,493
It tapered off at the end,
conveying doubt.
483
00:15:47,562 --> 00:15:49,996
Jessica, look,
private schools are picky.
484
00:15:50,065 --> 00:15:53,091
Unless your family has gone
there for generations,
485
00:15:53,101 --> 00:15:54,967
or you're the child of
someone who works there,
486
00:15:55,070 --> 00:15:56,769
there's really no guarantee.
487
00:15:56,871 --> 00:15:59,005
But Evan is overqualified.
488
00:15:59,107 --> 00:16:00,273
How could they reject him?
489
00:16:00,341 --> 00:16:01,908
Maybe it's not him.
490
00:16:02,010 --> 00:16:03,309
Maybe it's you.
491
00:16:03,378 --> 00:16:05,778
These schools don't just
evaluate the student.
492
00:16:05,847 --> 00:16:07,380
They evaluate the whole family.
493
00:16:07,482 --> 00:16:10,283
Why would my family be rejected?
494
00:16:10,385 --> 00:16:11,918
We're doing great.
495
00:16:11,986 --> 00:16:13,519
We live in a good neighborhood,
496
00:16:13,621 --> 00:16:15,054
we own our own restaurant...
497
00:16:15,123 --> 00:16:17,023
Word in the birding community...
498
00:16:17,125 --> 00:16:19,392
St. Orlando's saw you as renters
499
00:16:19,427 --> 00:16:22,662
who work in the service industry.
500
00:16:22,764 --> 00:16:23,763
And I heard sometimes
501
00:16:23,865 --> 00:16:25,531
you hide you mother-in-law
in the pantry?
502
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:26,999
Mm.
503
00:16:27,502 --> 00:16:28,734
[Car door closes]
504
00:16:28,837 --> 00:16:30,069
Murray, what are you doing here?
505
00:16:30,138 --> 00:16:31,537
I already sent you this month's rent.
506
00:16:31,606 --> 00:16:34,073
Ah, just inspecting my property,
507
00:16:34,142 --> 00:16:35,174
and I happen to notice
508
00:16:35,243 --> 00:16:37,043
that there's some damage to the driveway
509
00:16:37,112 --> 00:16:38,444
which I'm gonna have to charge you for.
510
00:16:38,513 --> 00:16:41,180
Did you have an
above-ground pool out here
511
00:16:41,249 --> 00:16:42,181
or something?
512
00:16:42,250 --> 00:16:44,383
We did not.
513
00:16:44,486 --> 00:16:46,252
And I notice that the lawn
looks a little different.
514
00:16:46,287 --> 00:16:47,453
Have you been tampering with it?
515
00:16:47,522 --> 00:16:48,754
What? No.
516
00:16:48,823 --> 00:16:50,990
Well, someone's been weeding this yard,
517
00:16:51,092 --> 00:16:52,425
'cause I don't see any dandelions.
518
00:16:52,494 --> 00:16:53,726
You know they help indicate
519
00:16:53,795 --> 00:16:55,962
whether the grass is
getting enough moisture,
520
00:16:55,997 --> 00:16:57,964
so someone better not
be messing with them.
521
00:16:58,933 --> 00:17:00,500
[Inhales sharply]
522
00:17:00,602 --> 00:17:01,901
You know what, Murray?
523
00:17:01,970 --> 00:17:03,302
I did pick the dandelions.
524
00:17:03,338 --> 00:17:04,837
I picked 10 dandelions,
525
00:17:04,939 --> 00:17:05,771
and I made 10 wishes,
526
00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:07,073
and you know what they all were?
527
00:17:07,142 --> 00:17:08,474
To own my own house.
528
00:17:08,510 --> 00:17:10,977
You know, you don't have to
keep making the same wish
529
00:17:11,079 --> 00:17:12,245
over and over.
530
00:17:12,347 --> 00:17:13,779
God hears you after the first one.
531
00:17:13,882 --> 00:17:15,114
[Sighs]
532
00:17:15,216 --> 00:17:16,782
♪
533
00:17:16,851 --> 00:17:19,218
[Video plays, Tyler laughs]
534
00:17:22,557 --> 00:17:25,091
Are you sure your
step-brother's only 16?
535
00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:26,192
No. Tyler could be 30.
536
00:17:26,261 --> 00:17:27,693
I don't know much about him.
537
00:17:27,795 --> 00:17:30,663
I'm just gonna go talk to him,
young man to young man...
538
00:17:30,732 --> 00:17:32,532
Ask him to remember what it was like
539
00:17:32,634 --> 00:17:33,699
when he was a freshman,
540
00:17:33,801 --> 00:17:35,401
how hard it was starting high school
541
00:17:35,470 --> 00:17:37,036
when all you have is your friends
542
00:17:37,071 --> 00:17:39,872
and how I'm asking, as Brian's friend,
543
00:17:39,974 --> 00:17:41,107
for that tape back.
544
00:17:41,209 --> 00:17:43,075
[Inspirational music plays]
545
00:17:43,144 --> 00:17:44,310
Well, that'll never work.
546
00:17:44,379 --> 00:17:46,345
Yeah, put that in the
"Stupid idea" file.
547
00:17:46,447 --> 00:17:48,481
You guys are too quick with that file.
548
00:17:48,550 --> 00:17:51,317
I don't know why my "Poison
him" idea is in there.
549
00:17:51,386 --> 00:17:53,419
Unless someone comes
up with a better plan,
550
00:17:53,521 --> 00:17:54,754
I'm going in.
551
00:17:57,192 --> 00:18:00,059
[Door opens, closes] [Laughs]
552
00:18:00,161 --> 00:18:02,228
[Knocks at door]
553
00:18:02,330 --> 00:18:04,830
Mom, I don't want any muesli.
554
00:18:07,068 --> 00:18:08,634
I recognize you from the video.
555
00:18:08,703 --> 00:18:09,702
Your pop-up said
556
00:18:09,771 --> 00:18:10,836
you ate string cheese
that fell in the gutter.
557
00:18:10,905 --> 00:18:12,572
It was lying on a bed of leaves.
558
00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:14,540
- It was clean.
- What are you doing here?
559
00:18:14,609 --> 00:18:16,642
I'm one of your step-brother's friends.
560
00:18:16,744 --> 00:18:18,277
I'm here to talk to you
young man to young man,
561
00:18:18,379 --> 00:18:20,079
and to ask you to
remember what it was like
562
00:18:20,148 --> 00:18:21,347
when you were a freshman...
563
00:18:21,382 --> 00:18:22,682
[Glass shatters]
564
00:18:22,750 --> 00:18:24,317
- What the hell?
- Get the tape!
565
00:18:26,988 --> 00:18:28,154
Poison him before you leave!
566
00:18:28,223 --> 00:18:31,224
♪
567
00:18:34,662 --> 00:18:36,095
Nope.
568
00:18:37,198 --> 00:18:38,297
Nope.
569
00:18:39,467 --> 00:18:40,366
What's this two-tone one?
570
00:18:40,468 --> 00:18:41,901
They're all the same, Michael.
571
00:18:43,204 --> 00:18:44,637
Okay, let's do it.
572
00:18:44,739 --> 00:18:45,838
Is my receptionist not out there?
573
00:18:45,940 --> 00:18:46,906
Rebecca!
574
00:18:47,008 --> 00:18:48,808
I don't care if it's
not in my life plan.
575
00:18:48,910 --> 00:18:50,176
I can't be a renter anymore.
576
00:18:50,278 --> 00:18:51,244
I need to own my house,
577
00:18:51,346 --> 00:18:53,112
so I'll sell you a
stake in the restaurant
578
00:18:53,181 --> 00:18:54,480
and take you on as a partner.
579
00:18:54,549 --> 00:18:56,549
And together,
we'll destroy Kenny Rogers.
580
00:18:56,618 --> 00:18:58,784
That's more your thing,
581
00:18:58,853 --> 00:19:00,653
but I like that you're
motivated by revenge.
582
00:19:00,722 --> 00:19:01,722
My wife will love that.
583
00:19:03,358 --> 00:19:05,291
[All chuckling]
584
00:19:05,393 --> 00:19:08,594
Mom, I've had time to think about it,
585
00:19:08,663 --> 00:19:09,862
and it's gonna be okay.
586
00:19:09,964 --> 00:19:11,864
I thought you said you
weren't feeling challenged
587
00:19:11,933 --> 00:19:12,898
in your regular school.
588
00:19:12,967 --> 00:19:15,167
And I'll make that my new challenge.
589
00:19:15,270 --> 00:19:16,502
I'll do extra C.L.C.,
590
00:19:16,571 --> 00:19:18,404
audit some junior college classes,
591
00:19:18,506 --> 00:19:19,839
take an immersion trip to Montreal
592
00:19:19,941 --> 00:19:20,941
to work on my French.
593
00:19:22,443 --> 00:19:23,576
Michael Bolton
594
00:19:23,678 --> 00:19:25,244
offered me a partnership
deal for the restaurant,
595
00:19:25,346 --> 00:19:26,679
and I think we should take it.
596
00:19:26,781 --> 00:19:27,980
What?
597
00:19:28,049 --> 00:19:29,715
I know it means straying
from our life plan,
598
00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:31,717
but we should make exceptions
for good opportunities.
599
00:19:31,786 --> 00:19:33,119
I want to own our house,
600
00:19:33,187 --> 00:19:35,354
and this deal will let us do that.
601
00:19:39,027 --> 00:19:40,393
You're right.
602
00:19:40,495 --> 00:19:43,262
Maybe we can be less
strict with our plans.
603
00:19:43,364 --> 00:19:47,366
But we're not buying this house.
604
00:19:51,539 --> 00:19:52,872
We'd like to buy your house.
605
00:19:53,675 --> 00:19:55,074
You want to buy this house?
606
00:19:55,176 --> 00:19:57,243
But with one stipulation.
607
00:19:58,179 --> 00:20:00,746
You get our son into St. Orlando's.
608
00:20:00,815 --> 00:20:02,746
Your wife works there, right?
609
00:20:02,976 --> 00:20:06,085
She gets our son in,
you've sold your house.
610
00:20:06,187 --> 00:20:07,787
We can work something out.
611
00:20:08,122 --> 00:20:09,588
I'm going to private school!
612
00:20:09,691 --> 00:20:11,590
I'm not in the garage, but screw it!
613
00:20:11,693 --> 00:20:14,293
[Chuckles]
614
00:20:14,395 --> 00:20:15,428
Are we sure about this?
615
00:20:15,530 --> 00:20:16,829
You want to own your own home,
616
00:20:16,931 --> 00:20:19,065
I want Evan in private school.
617
00:20:19,167 --> 00:20:21,100
Michael Bolton will get us both.
618
00:20:21,202 --> 00:20:24,470
♪
619
00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:27,333
Dave: We did it! We got the tape back.
620
00:20:27,343 --> 00:20:28,676
Are you gonna get in
trouble for throwing a rock
621
00:20:28,778 --> 00:20:29,877
through your stepbrother's window?
622
00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:32,772
Eh, if things get heated I
can always fake a seizure.
623
00:20:32,782 --> 00:20:35,115
Guys, we're entering
high school on a win.
624
00:20:35,217 --> 00:20:37,017
Things are gonna be okay.
625
00:20:38,058 --> 00:20:39,399
Yeah!
626
00:20:44,132 --> 00:20:45,420
Divorce.
627
00:20:45,430 --> 00:20:47,223
- What's going on?
- Pack your things
628
00:20:47,233 --> 00:20:48,274
and say goodbye to your friends.
629
00:20:48,284 --> 00:20:49,431
We're moving.
630
00:20:49,441 --> 00:20:51,151
Time to make new friends.
631
00:20:51,708 --> 00:20:52,996
Emery: Hold that look, Eddie.
632
00:20:53,006 --> 00:20:54,690
I'm trying to find the zoom.
633
00:20:54,898 --> 00:20:56,592
Ah, there it is.
634
00:20:57,739 --> 00:20:59,486
_
635
00:20:59,724 --> 00:21:04,303
Synced and corrected by johnyd13
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