1 00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:03,731 [ Man ] *Early in the mornin' 2 00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:06,167 *Before I clear my mind 3 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:09,670 *I grab a funky glass and I drink a cup of wine * 4 00:01:09,703 --> 00:01:14,142 *Then I turn my music box to the latest news of love * 5 00:01:14,175 --> 00:01:16,110 *Let the music set me groovin' * 6 00:01:17,878 --> 00:01:20,881 *I've got to groove groove, groove * 7 00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:23,617 *To the music 8 00:01:23,651 --> 00:01:25,786 *Feel it 9 00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:28,822 *I've got to groove groove, groove * 10 00:01:28,856 --> 00:01:31,259 *To the music 11 00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:35,229 [ Man ] Man! Would you look at all the hot tail runnin' around this place? 12 00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:37,498 Look. Look. [ Groans ] 13 00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:40,501 Dad, can you just please, please don't embarrass me today, okay? 14 00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:42,870 Embarrass you? 15 00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:44,905 Son, you spent the entire summer depressed... 16 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,308 because your girlfriend ran off with that pretty boy Trent. 17 00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:50,744 Now you've gotta get out there and crush some ass. 18 00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:52,546 - That's the only way you're gonna get your mind off her. - Yes. Yes. 19 00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:54,482 That is what I'm talkin' about. Yes. 20 00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:56,850 "Crush some ass"? Aw, come on. 21 00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:59,220 Wait, wait, wait. 22 00:01:59,253 --> 00:02:01,322 I'll show you how it's done. No, no, no. 23 00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:03,624 Shh, shh, shh. Watch this. Just watch and learn. Please drive-- 24 00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:05,759 Excuse me. Uh, ladies? Hi. 25 00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:08,262 Hi. This is my son Erik. 26 00:02:08,296 --> 00:02:10,264 Hi. Mmm. 27 00:02:10,298 --> 00:02:12,433 And, uh-- [ Clears Throat ] 28 00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,735 He's moving in today, and we were just wondering... 29 00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:18,572 if maybe either of you were interested in showing him a good time. 30 00:02:18,606 --> 00:02:21,709 [ Laughs ] No, thanks. 31 00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:24,412 Oh! [ Laughs ] [ Laughs ] 32 00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:26,414 He's a stallion-- [ Groans ] 33 00:02:26,447 --> 00:02:29,317 Just like his old man. No, Dad, come on. 34 00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:32,186 Well, I tried, huh? Yeah, thanks. Now I'm gonna have to transfer. 35 00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:34,255 [ Chattering ] 36 00:02:35,923 --> 00:02:37,925 Son. Son. Yeah? 37 00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:40,261 I wanna show you something. 38 00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:44,198 This is the list of all the chicks I ever banged. 39 00:02:44,232 --> 00:02:48,236 Are you serious? Is that two-sided? It is. Nice. 40 00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:51,272 Yeah, it's a good goal for you to try to keep up with your old man. 41 00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:54,608 Hey, Dad, why isn't Mom's name the last name on the list? 42 00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:57,378 There? Uh, we didn't tell you, but when you were three, 43 00:02:57,411 --> 00:03:00,781 we had a trial separation for a week. Trial sep-- 44 00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:03,217 Uh, Dad, there's, like-- 45 00:03:03,251 --> 00:03:05,586 Well, there's 10 names here for that week alone. 46 00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:09,257 Yeah, I went on kind of a poontang bender there. Is that my mom's name? 47 00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:11,859 Yeah, you know, on second thought I'll just kind of hang onto that. 48 00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:13,827 Come on, guys, let's get loaded here. 49 00:03:15,496 --> 00:03:17,865 Cooze, grab a box. 50 00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:19,733 You had sex with his mom? Yeah. 51 00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:22,603 How was it? Yuck. 52 00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:24,572 [ Chattering ] 53 00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:34,348 Wow. This place is amazing. 54 00:03:34,382 --> 00:03:39,520 - Hi. - God, there are girls everywhere. 55 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:43,524 - Uh-- This is my room. - It still kind of sucks we're not rooming together. 56 00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,626 Dude, whatever. You're gonna be right down the hall. 57 00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:47,795 Besides, I got a single. 58 00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:49,630 Hold onto this. I'm gonna find a bathroom. 59 00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,799 All right. I'll be right back. 60 00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:54,902 Oh, my God. Hi. How ya doin'? Mike Coozeman. Glad to meet you. 61 00:03:54,935 --> 00:03:56,470 My God. 62 00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:04,978 - Wow! This is gonna take some getting used to. - Huh. 63 00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:09,517 Yeah, um, isn't-- Isn't this the guys' bathroom? 64 00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:12,886 No, it's coed. All the dorms are like this. 65 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,722 Cool. Coed. Yeah. 66 00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:17,291 Don't worry. I won't peek. 67 00:04:17,325 --> 00:04:20,494 Yeah, I won't peek, uh-- I won't peek either. 68 00:04:20,528 --> 00:04:22,463 I'm Ashley. What's your name? 69 00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:24,698 I'm Erik. Hmm. 70 00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:29,303 -Well, it's nice to meet you, Erik. - Nice to meet you too. 71 00:04:29,337 --> 00:04:31,305 Hey, do you think you could pass me my shampoo? 72 00:04:31,339 --> 00:04:33,441 It's just right there. 73 00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:37,811 - Mm-hmm. Yeah. Just gimme a-- a minute here, okay? - Thanks. 74 00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:54,562 -Erik? - [ Chuckles ] 75 00:04:56,664 --> 00:05:00,601 Erik? A little help here? 76 00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:08,776 [ Groans ] [ Squeaking ] 77 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:12,346 [ Man ] Ride the white whale, baby. Ride the white whale. 78 00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:14,415 Oh, my God. Oh, man, I'm sorry. 79 00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:18,018 I'm sorry. The door was open. You must be Erik. I'm Bobby. 80 00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:19,853 Hi. Hey, hey. 81 00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:21,889 Come on in, man. No, no, no. 82 00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:24,358 It's-- You guys are busy. I can come back later. 83 00:05:24,392 --> 00:05:28,028 This is your place too. Don't worry about Margie. She's not exactly shy. 84 00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:31,565 - No, she's not. - Sit down. You want a beer? 85 00:05:31,599 --> 00:05:33,701 - Uh, no. - You sure? 86 00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:37,337 Yeah. Are you hungry? Margie cooked up some mean bratwurst. 87 00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:41,642 No, I just had a sandwich. Thanks. 88 00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:44,044 - Where you from? - East Great Falls. 89 00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:48,048 East Great Falls. [ Moaning ] 90 00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:50,584 Slow down, sassy pants. 91 00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:52,586 All right, baby, I'm trying to have a conversation. 92 00:05:52,620 --> 00:05:54,788 Yeah. [ Chuckles ] 93 00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:58,592 College! Yeah. Best years of our lives. 94 00:05:58,626 --> 00:06:00,127 Yeah. Put it up. 95 00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:05,966 Oh, high-- High five. [ Chuckles ] 96 00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:08,101 - You wanna jump in on this? - No. 97 00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:09,870 - Come on. Margie loves it. -No, no, no, Margie. 98 00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:12,640 No. No, no, no. I'm good. Look, uh-- 99 00:06:12,673 --> 00:06:14,708 It was very nice to meet you, Bobby and Margie. 100 00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:16,944 Actually, I just came to change my pants. 101 00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:19,680 I spilled a drink on it earlier. 102 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:22,916 - [ Gagging ] - [ Chuckles ] Are you role-playing again? 103 00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:26,620 Say the safe word, baby. Say the safe-- Baby? 104 00:06:26,654 --> 00:06:29,022 Are you choking? Dude, I-I think she's choking. 105 00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:30,924 - What? -I think she's choking. You gotta do something. 106 00:06:30,958 --> 00:06:33,694 -Do something. -I can't. I'm tied up and basted like a Thanksgiving turkey. 107 00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:36,897 - Hold on. I'll find the spot. - Come on. 108 00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:39,066 - Oh. - Breathe! 109 00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:43,537 What do you want me to do with all this-- Oh! Erik, no. 110 00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:45,973 - [ Groaning ] - All right, Son! 111 00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:48,942 Yeah. That's what being a Stifler's all about. 112 00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:51,745 No, no. She was choking. That's it. 113 00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:53,747 That's how Stiflers do college. 114 00:06:53,781 --> 00:06:56,049 Now, let's just give these kids some privacy. 115 00:06:56,083 --> 00:07:00,821 Doin' good. Keep it up. 116 00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:04,492 I'm not trying to freak you out, roomie, but I just totally came. 117 00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:08,161 [ Chattering ] 118 00:07:10,664 --> 00:07:13,467 [ No Audible Dialogue ] 119 00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:17,070 [ Man ] *A lollipop And I won't stop * 120 00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:20,007 *Gonna lick that sweetness 121 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,543 * [ Continues ] 122 00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:24,912 [ Beeping ] 123 00:07:33,821 --> 00:07:36,089 Hey, ladies. Is this where, uh-- 124 00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:39,159 [ Beeping ] 125 00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:41,829 Laura Johnson and Sara Coleman live? 126 00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:46,199 Yeah. I'm Laura Johnson, and this is my roommate Sara. 127 00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:49,537 My name is Dwight Stifler. I'm here with the freshman welcoming committee. 128 00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:54,074 I've been given instructions to escort you ladies on a guided tour of the campus. 129 00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:56,076 - That's so sweet. - Yeah. 130 00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:57,878 Should we wear anything special? 131 00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:02,550 * [ Pop ] 132 00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:05,285 Dude, there is no way that everybody in this is a student here. 133 00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,755 I'm, like, look-- He's holding her boob. [ Laughs ] 134 00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:10,123 -He is. - No, man, they are. 135 00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:12,125 I've had a subscription for, like, a year. 136 00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:14,862 [ Sniffs ] Oh, that'll be good. 137 00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:17,264 [ Laughs ] That's not cologne, man. 138 00:08:17,297 --> 00:08:21,068 I've used that exact issue more times than I could count. 139 00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:25,706 [ Sniffs ] You smell pretty. 140 00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:27,675 [ Laughs ] Mmm. 141 00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:29,777 Ow! [ Knocking ] Sorry. 142 00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:32,045 That was so uncalled for. 143 00:08:34,682 --> 00:08:36,684 Wow. 144 00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:38,919 Is this Erik Stifler's room? 145 00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:40,821 Yeah. 146 00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:50,063 Welcome to college, boys. 147 00:08:50,097 --> 00:08:52,566 Yeah, no. I wouldn't lie to you. I'm dead serious. 148 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,168 Most sororities won't even give you a bid unless you've had a threesome. 149 00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:57,270 It shows that you work well within the group dynamic, 150 00:08:57,304 --> 00:08:59,272 that you're really prepared for sisterhood. 151 00:08:59,306 --> 00:09:01,241 You know what I'm sayin'? Really? 152 00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:03,243 Yeah. Oh, man, who is this guy? 153 00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:05,846 Dude, he's the reason we came to college here. 154 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:08,782 * [ Pop ] [ Laughing, Chattering ] 155 00:09:08,816 --> 00:09:10,984 - Here we are, boys. -[ Erik ] Oh, man, she's hot. 156 00:09:11,018 --> 00:09:13,954 - You like that? - That was awesome. 157 00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:16,724 I like to give a little bit back every now and then. 158 00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:19,960 - Hey, hey, shower buddy. - Oh, hey. Hi. 159 00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:23,864 -Shower buddy? -Yeah. Erik and I met when I was showering this afternoon. 160 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,834 - Really? - Yeah. 161 00:09:26,867 --> 00:09:28,869 Oh, right, the coed bathrooms. Yeah. 162 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,772 It took me about three years to get the board of trustees to approve that one. 163 00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:35,375 - Worth it. - Oh, Ashley, Hi. This-- Everyone, this is Ashley. 164 00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:38,278 -Ashley, this is everyone. -[ Ashley ] Hi, everybody. 165 00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:42,315 This is my roommate Denise. She just came here from Georgia. Hey, y'all. 166 00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:46,353 Oh, well, I do declare. A real-life Scarlett O'Hara. 167 00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:49,757 - Oh, my. - You guys aren't taking off, are you? 168 00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:52,893 Yeah, we're going to this cocktail mixer at the Epsilon Sigma Kappa house. 169 00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,896 Uh, no. No, no, no. The geek house? No. Trust me. 170 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,899 I wanna stay, but-- [ Ashley ] But we promised, so-- 171 00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:01,769 Plus, Ashley thinks this party is a little bit déclassé. 172 00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:03,737 What, like sleazy? 173 00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:05,706 Hey, how you doin', sweetheart? Grab a beer. 174 00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:07,941 No, you've got the wrong idea about this whole thing. 175 00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:11,044 This is just a little meet-and-greet that I set up... 176 00:10:11,078 --> 00:10:13,046 to sort of, you know, demonstrate our school spirit, 177 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,082 and our, you know, dedication to this university. 178 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,117 Beta house fuckin' rules! 179 00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:19,687 [ Crowd Cheers ] 180 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,855 - [ Yelling ] -[ Laughter ] 181 00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:26,727 - Yeah! - Real classy. 182 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:30,030 Hmm. Erik, it was really nice to see you again. Yeah. 183 00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:33,000 Guys. Yeah, see ya. 184 00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:35,869 -Bye. Nice to meet you. - See ya. 185 00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:38,939 Hey, Stifler, what's up with this geek house? 186 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:42,009 -Yeah, I never even heard of it. -I know a geek house sounds harmless, 187 00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:45,746 but they are a nightmare. 188 00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:48,215 [ Dwight Narrating ] They were a social club for decades, 189 00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:50,884 until a group of rich geeks came in and threw some money around, 190 00:10:50,918 --> 00:10:53,053 built the house and got a new charter. 191 00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:56,123 - [ Erik ] A geek fraternity? - [ Dwight ] To get in you need, like, perfect S.A.T. scores. 192 00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:58,258 Patch that two million to my Swiss account. 193 00:10:58,291 --> 00:11:00,093 [ Dwight ] Then they check your family tree... 194 00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:02,395 and calculate future earnings potential. 195 00:11:02,429 --> 00:11:06,266 No, I said buy at 60, not sell at 60. You're fucking fired! 196 00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:09,169 [ Dwight ] They got billionaire alumni, Hey, it's only 100 grand. 197 00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:12,205 They run the student government, 198 00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:15,008 and the faculty loves 'em. 199 00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:17,110 But, uh, don't even get me started on the women. 200 00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:20,047 They attract the hottest women from the entire school. 201 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:25,786 [ Erik ] Who wants to hang out with a house full of geeks? 202 00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:28,121 [ Dwight ] It's a new world out there. 203 00:11:28,155 --> 00:11:30,123 These women realize that the geeks... 204 00:11:30,157 --> 00:11:33,060 are gonna be the millionaires right out of school. 205 00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:37,831 They've just adjusted their nesting habits. 206 00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:40,167 Hey, don't sweat it. Beta's still where the party's at, right? 207 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:44,004 Oh! Look out. Stifler-- 208 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:46,840 The judging's about to begin. All right. 209 00:11:47,975 --> 00:11:49,843 Judging? 210 00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:52,846 * [ Dance ] [ Crowd Roaring ] 211 00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:02,355 Aw, the Beta house never disappoints. 212 00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:06,994 Are you serious? It's always like this? All the time. 213 00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:09,863 -These girls are ridiculous! - Ridiculous! 214 00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:11,765 Get the clip board. 215 00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:17,871 Whoo. 216 00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:20,974 Sweetie, you are naughty. I am keeping you after class. 217 00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:26,947 Bring that ruler. I have also been bad. 218 00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:29,482 And this one over here has got great abs. 219 00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:32,119 They look like fresh buttered rolls right out of the oven. 220 00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:33,921 Great! This is the best idea I've ever had! 221 00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:39,860 This is a chicken scratch. You're a caveman. 222 00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:42,095 Oh! 223 00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:44,798 [ Crowd Cheering ] 224 00:12:49,569 --> 00:12:52,772 She's pullin' 'em out. She's pullin' 'em out! 225 00:12:56,844 --> 00:12:58,778 [ Together ] Perfect tits! 226 00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:03,450 Whoo! Whoo! 227 00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:05,385 Beta! Come on! 228 00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:13,126 Ladies and gentlemen, depravity is haunting this university. 229 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:16,263 Sex, alcohol, vulgarity, 230 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,398 stupidity. 231 00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:22,169 Once this was a respected institution of higher learning. 232 00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:25,538 We are declaring a new age at this university-- 233 00:13:25,572 --> 00:13:29,376 An age in which a student's worth is no longer measured by his blood alcohol level, 234 00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:32,279 but rather, his G.P.A. 235 00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:35,248 We formed this fraternity to change the way... 236 00:13:35,282 --> 00:13:37,550 geeks are thought of in this country. 237 00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:41,922 But, as history has proven, 238 00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:44,992 for a new civilization to emerge, 239 00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:48,528 another must crumble. [ Blows ] 240 00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:53,566 We must destroy the Betas. 241 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,336 * [ Dance ] [ Chattering ] 242 00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:02,375 Hey, Stacy. 243 00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:06,113 My hands are wet. I can't get this beer open. Will you do it for me? 244 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:10,183 [ Cheering ] 245 00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:14,387 Thanks. Those Kegel muscle exercises are really payin' off, huh? 246 00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:17,657 So what do we have to do to become Betas? 247 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,993 Uh, well, obviously you guys are cool with me. 248 00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:22,963 What you need to do is impress the rush chair, Wesley. Have you guys met Wesley? 249 00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:24,998 [ Both ] Uh-huh. You haven't? All right. 250 00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:26,934 He's in the other room. Come on. I'll introduce you. Follow me. 251 00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:29,502 * [ Piano:Fu%r Elise] 252 00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:35,008 Don't be fooled by his appearance. 253 00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:38,211 His nickname is the Blackout Menace. 254 00:14:38,245 --> 00:14:41,414 He's a perfect student except for his habit of getting belligerently drunk, 255 00:14:41,448 --> 00:14:44,117 blacking out, causing complete and total mayhem, 256 00:14:44,151 --> 00:14:46,219 and never remembering a thing. 257 00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:48,355 [ Jet Engines Whining ] 258 00:14:51,959 --> 00:14:53,593 [ Bell Dings ] 259 00:14:57,197 --> 00:15:00,033 Uh, excuse me. 260 00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:02,936 - Where is this plane going to? - Detroit. 261 00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:04,938 [ Exhales ] 262 00:15:04,972 --> 00:15:08,241 [ Laughing ] Thank God. 263 00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:11,945 Uh, excuse me. Where is it coming from? 264 00:15:11,979 --> 00:15:13,981 - Bangkok. - [ Muttering ] 265 00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:18,351 Whose kid is that? Yours. 266 00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:22,189 You adopted him yesterday. Congratulations. 267 00:15:24,491 --> 00:15:26,393 Hey, buddy. 268 00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:30,563 Are you serious? 269 00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:34,067 Yep. Just dropped Sung Lee off at their embassy this last week. 270 00:15:34,101 --> 00:15:37,504 Kid nearly caused an international incident. 271 00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:39,539 Wesley. 272 00:15:39,572 --> 00:15:41,674 Sorry to interrupt. 273 00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:46,013 - Wesley, this is my cousin and his buddies. - Hi. 274 00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:47,747 Uh, Erik, right? Yeah. 275 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:50,617 Mike Coozeman. How come we didn't see you last year? 276 00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:54,554 I was in a Mexican jail. I had to tunnel my way out, 277 00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:56,689 but I made it back in time for finals, 278 00:15:56,723 --> 00:16:00,360 which is what we're all about here at Beta-- education. 279 00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:03,063 - Right. - You wanna dance? 280 00:16:03,096 --> 00:16:04,597 Yep. Mm-hmm. 281 00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:07,167 Let's get sexy. 282 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,402 [ Whistling ] Hey. 283 00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:12,105 You ready? There's 100 hot, horny chicks here tonight. 284 00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:14,074 Countin' on you. 285 00:16:14,107 --> 00:16:16,409 * [ Hip-hop ] 286 00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:18,578 [ Man ] *When it's time for underground flavor * 287 00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:20,447 *Hip-hop make you change your behavior * 288 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,516 * [ Continues, Indistinct ] 289 00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:35,362 Get some, baby. Get some. 290 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:48,408 * [ Jazz ] 291 00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:54,214 *Call me irresponsible 292 00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:58,118 *Call me unreliable 293 00:16:58,151 --> 00:17:02,089 *Throw in undependable too You've gotta be kidding. 294 00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:04,357 [ Pounds On Keyboard ] Are you gonna start drinking? 295 00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:07,094 Because I desperately need a wingman. 296 00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:10,063 I'm not drinking tonight, Bull. I had a rough night last week. 297 00:17:10,097 --> 00:17:12,199 Oh, really? 298 00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:14,667 Really? That's fine. 299 00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,836 Because then I just might have to tell these fine young ladies... 300 00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:19,239 about a certain frat boy and a... 301 00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:21,541 - Mexican transvestite. - All right, all right, all right. 302 00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:25,678 [ Girls Murmuring ] One drink. 303 00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,247 Yeah. Just one. [ Sniffs ] 304 00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:37,357 * [ Pop ] 305 00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:41,794 [ No Audible Dialogue ] 306 00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:50,370 Hey. What the hell's with you, man? 307 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:54,207 Can you not see all this prime ass a foot from your face? 308 00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:56,243 Yeah, man, I see it. It's-- It's pretty cool. 309 00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:59,112 Yeah, it's cool. You should be tearin' it up. 310 00:17:59,146 --> 00:18:01,648 You guys, it's just-- Remember last year we came up here? 311 00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:05,852 I had the time of my life. I did stuff I never would have dreamed I would have ever done. 312 00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:07,854 I kind of figured it would change me. 313 00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:10,823 Yes, okay. So you got drunk and you ran naked, right? 314 00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:13,226 But you blew it with a really hot sorority chick... 315 00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:15,395 to run home and have sex with your little girlfriend. 316 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:18,598 That might have won you points in high school, but this isn't high school. 317 00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:22,169 - No. - I guess you guys are right. 318 00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:25,705 College is your one chance to start over. You get to hit the reset button on life. 319 00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:27,674 You can be anybody you wanna be. 320 00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:29,342 I never thought of it like that before. 321 00:18:29,376 --> 00:18:32,679 Yeah. Here. Slug that. 322 00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:38,518 - Attaboy. Julie, this is my cousin Erik. - [ Woman ] Hi, Erik. 323 00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:41,388 I just wanted you to know, Erik voted for you in the hottie contest, 324 00:18:41,421 --> 00:18:43,756 and since he's, like, the ladies' man of the family, 325 00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:47,360 I totally trust his taste. Thanks, cutie. 326 00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:50,797 You wanna dance, gorgeous? I'd love to. 327 00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:54,334 Anybody you wanna be. [ Mouthing Words ] 328 00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:58,271 [ Man ] *Groove, groove, groove 329 00:18:58,305 --> 00:19:00,273 *To the music 330 00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:02,309 *Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah 331 00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:04,577 *To the music 332 00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:06,679 Wow. you can really put that away. 333 00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:09,749 Kiddin' me? This stuff is like water to me. 334 00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:12,185 *To the music-- 335 00:19:12,219 --> 00:19:16,323 * [ Ends ] [ Crowd Clamoring ] 336 00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:18,458 Hey, hey. Everybody settle down for a second. 337 00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:20,760 We're just having a little minor technical glitch. 338 00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:22,862 No big deal. We'll get everything fixed up in a minute. 339 00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:24,864 [ Man Laughs ] 340 00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:27,300 I don't think so, Stifler. 341 00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:30,470 You see, you overloaded your prehistoric circuits. 342 00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,505 I'm afraid your music won't be coming on... 343 00:19:32,539 --> 00:19:35,475 for the rest of the night. Don't-Don't listen to him. 344 00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,710 We'll get everything fixed in a minute. That won't matter. 345 00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:41,714 Because by Jake's calculations, based on the amount of kegs and liquor you bought, 346 00:19:41,748 --> 00:19:45,418 you should be running out just about... now. 347 00:19:45,452 --> 00:19:48,955 - Bullshit. - [ Sobbing ] The fucking kegs are dry. 348 00:19:48,988 --> 00:19:52,825 [ Crowd Clamoring ] We're out of fucking booze! 349 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:56,296 - Aah! - [ Groaning ] 350 00:19:56,329 --> 00:19:59,732 Settle down. It's fine. We'll make a beer run. They could do that. 351 00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:01,934 Or you can all come to the geek house, 352 00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:04,937 where we have enough liquor to last a week, along with... 353 00:20:04,971 --> 00:20:08,007 all the champagne you can drink. 354 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:11,744 We also have a heated pool, and enough swimsuits for everyone. 355 00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:14,847 That is, if you even want to wear one. 356 00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:17,717 [ Cheering ] [ Screams ] 357 00:20:19,852 --> 00:20:22,322 Are you fucking kidding me? 358 00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:25,458 It's your choice, people. Stay here and get puked on-- 359 00:20:25,492 --> 00:20:27,260 Okay, I'm out of here. I'm so sorry. 360 00:20:27,294 --> 00:20:29,829 Or come party V.I.P. style. 361 00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:32,231 [ Cheering ] 362 00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:41,574 * [ Rock ] 363 00:20:41,608 --> 00:20:44,644 Fuckin' Edgar. [ Growls ] 364 00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:48,448 Prick really knows how to throw that money around, huh? 365 00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:51,418 Oh, yeah. Probably doesn't help that numb nuts here... 366 00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:54,053 barfed all over the chicks, either. 367 00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:56,022 I'm sorry about that. 368 00:20:56,055 --> 00:20:59,759 - You look disgusting. -[ Groaning ] 369 00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:03,796 - Cryin' out loud, man. - I'll clean it up. 370 00:21:06,699 --> 00:21:08,635 [ Groaning ] 371 00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:14,006 Not again. 372 00:21:17,677 --> 00:21:19,979 Mmm. Mornin', sexy. 373 00:21:22,014 --> 00:21:24,617 Some party, huh? 374 00:21:24,651 --> 00:21:26,886 Hey, baby. How you doin'? 375 00:21:28,688 --> 00:21:30,857 No. No, no, no. 376 00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:33,760 * [ Man Singing In Spanish ] 377 00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:36,062 How you feelin' there, Cuz? 378 00:21:36,095 --> 00:21:39,599 A lot better. Thanks. 379 00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:41,968 No need for thanks. We're family. Right now I gotta run. 380 00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:45,672 I gotta go down to the basement, take care of some official Beta business. 381 00:21:45,705 --> 00:21:48,875 - Have some of Peaches' eggs. - Okay. 382 00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:51,678 All right. Thanks, Peaches. Adios, guapo. 383 00:21:51,711 --> 00:21:54,914 [ Dwight ] Oh, buddy. 384 00:21:54,947 --> 00:21:57,517 [ Laughs ] [ Man ] Whoo! 385 00:21:57,550 --> 00:21:59,786 I love this place. Attaboy. 386 00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:01,954 Off the hook. So, uh-- So, guys. 387 00:22:01,988 --> 00:22:03,990 The hard-on champ is in? Yeah. 388 00:22:04,023 --> 00:22:05,925 Aye, aye. Yeah. 389 00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:11,898 * [ Dance ] [ Dwight ] Yeah. I love this guy. 390 00:22:11,931 --> 00:22:14,901 Beta! I love Beta! [ Laughter ] 391 00:22:14,934 --> 00:22:16,836 [ Man ] He had the best rack at the party. 392 00:22:16,869 --> 00:22:19,506 Fuckin' love Beta, man! 393 00:22:19,539 --> 00:22:21,508 [ Laughter ] Shut up. Shut up. 394 00:22:21,541 --> 00:22:24,076 Everyone calm down. I told you I didn't want to drink. 395 00:22:24,110 --> 00:22:26,646 Look how the pig squeals. Look how the pig squeals. 396 00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:28,648 All in favor of Bobby Coolidge. 397 00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:30,950 - Man, oh, yeah. - He's in. 398 00:22:33,820 --> 00:22:35,988 [ Dwight ] All right, all right. 399 00:22:36,022 --> 00:22:38,591 [ Man ] Oh! [ Man Jesus, man. 400 00:22:38,625 --> 00:22:43,696 Whoo! [ Wesley ] This guy really knows how to work a room. 401 00:22:43,730 --> 00:22:45,865 Give him a bid. He'll be a pussy magnet, buddy. 402 00:22:45,898 --> 00:22:49,068 Yeah! [ Laughs ] 403 00:22:49,101 --> 00:22:52,539 [ Screams ] [ Man, Laughing ] Oh, no. 404 00:22:52,572 --> 00:22:56,075 [ Dwight ] All right, that's my cousin. Take it easy. 405 00:22:56,108 --> 00:22:58,077 No offense, brother, okay? 406 00:22:58,110 --> 00:23:01,113 But I don't know if your cousin is up for the challenge, man. 407 00:23:01,147 --> 00:23:03,850 I'm with Bull on this one. 408 00:23:03,883 --> 00:23:06,853 I mean, he's a nice kid, but he passed up sleeping with Brandy, man. 409 00:23:06,886 --> 00:23:09,422 All right, all right, all right. 410 00:23:09,456 --> 00:23:12,725 Look, I know Erik missed his big chance to, like, sleep with the one girl... 411 00:23:12,759 --> 00:23:14,694 that I'm assuming everybody would lop off your left nut to bang. 412 00:23:14,727 --> 00:23:16,996 Am I right? [ Bull ] Two nuts. 413 00:23:17,029 --> 00:23:19,866 - All right, does that mean he's not Beta material? -[ Betas ] Yes! 414 00:23:19,899 --> 00:23:24,136 He was young and dumb and in love. He's a-- He's a late bloomer. 415 00:23:24,170 --> 00:23:26,606 I think he's gonna surprise you this semester. 416 00:23:26,639 --> 00:23:28,841 And anyway, he's a legacy, so he's automatically gettin' a bid, 417 00:23:28,875 --> 00:23:30,943 so you can all fuck off. 418 00:23:30,977 --> 00:23:33,880 Aye? Yeah. Aye, aye. 419 00:23:33,913 --> 00:23:36,949 [ Dwight ] Yeah, that's what I thought, bitches. 420 00:23:36,983 --> 00:23:39,418 [ Toilet Flushes ] 421 00:23:42,722 --> 00:23:46,192 - Hey, you. - Hi. 422 00:23:46,225 --> 00:23:51,598 - We have to stop meeting like this. - [ Chuckling ] Yeah. 423 00:23:51,631 --> 00:23:54,601 Are you okay? Yeah. I just had a really rough night. 424 00:23:54,634 --> 00:23:57,670 Oh. [ Laughs ] 425 00:23:57,704 --> 00:24:00,473 You know, I think Denise has a crush on your friend Cooze. 426 00:24:00,507 --> 00:24:02,809 She thinks he's sweet. [ Laughs ] 427 00:24:02,842 --> 00:24:05,645 - Denise thinks Cooze is sweet. - Uh-huh. Yeah. 428 00:24:08,881 --> 00:24:11,183 Uh-- 429 00:24:11,217 --> 00:24:13,185 Wait. Ashley-- Erik, I-- 430 00:24:13,219 --> 00:24:15,755 -I've been thinking-- - I'm just thinking. Do-- 431 00:24:15,788 --> 00:24:19,492 - Do you wanna go out with me once? - Yeah. 432 00:24:19,526 --> 00:24:22,829 - Really? - Yeah. That would be really nice. 433 00:24:22,862 --> 00:24:25,898 Okay. Keep, uh-- You have really pretty teeth, by the way. 434 00:24:27,066 --> 00:24:29,869 [ Door Opens, Closes ] 435 00:24:33,305 --> 00:24:35,174 [ Alarm Bell Ringing ] 436 00:24:39,646 --> 00:24:41,948 -[ Ringing Continues ] - [ Clamoring ] 437 00:24:41,981 --> 00:24:45,017 What's goin' on? Oh, man. This sucks. 438 00:24:45,051 --> 00:24:48,688 Hey, guys, don't go that way. This way is quicker. 439 00:24:48,721 --> 00:24:52,158 [ Yawns ] I was just dreamin' about this great sandwich. 440 00:24:52,191 --> 00:24:56,028 [ Groaning ] 441 00:24:56,062 --> 00:24:58,798 [ Groans ] Wait a second. Where are we? 442 00:24:58,831 --> 00:25:00,867 I don't see any sandwiches here. 443 00:25:00,900 --> 00:25:05,037 Hey, guys. You wanna see something? 444 00:25:05,071 --> 00:25:08,074 - [ Gasps ] -[ Cooze ] Yes. 445 00:25:08,107 --> 00:25:11,277 That is-- [ Sizzling ] [ All Groan ] 446 00:25:24,957 --> 00:25:27,994 Gentlemen, 447 00:25:28,027 --> 00:25:30,730 today is the first day of the rest of your lives. 448 00:25:30,763 --> 00:25:36,068 You are the select few who have been chosen to pledge the Beta house. 449 00:25:36,102 --> 00:25:38,170 Beta, baby! 450 00:25:41,007 --> 00:25:44,043 Now, most fraternities do the pledging thing... 451 00:25:44,076 --> 00:25:46,112 a little bit differently than we do. 452 00:25:46,145 --> 00:25:48,280 Most pledging consists of... 453 00:25:48,314 --> 00:25:52,351 hate-filled mental and physical hazing designed to break you down. 454 00:25:52,384 --> 00:25:56,288 But here at Beta, I, Dwight Stifler, your pledge master, 455 00:25:56,322 --> 00:25:59,759 have devised an elaborate scientific plan... 456 00:25:59,792 --> 00:26:03,095 to build teamwork and brotherhood. 457 00:26:04,196 --> 00:26:06,198 Gentlemen, I give you... 458 00:26:06,232 --> 00:26:08,367 your pledge board. 459 00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:11,303 [ Murmuring ] 460 00:26:11,337 --> 00:26:13,940 - It's huge. -On this pledge board are 50 tasks... 461 00:26:13,973 --> 00:26:15,842 that you and your pledge brothers must complete... 462 00:26:15,875 --> 00:26:18,210 by semester's end if you wanna become Betas. 463 00:26:18,244 --> 00:26:20,880 To start things off, 464 00:26:20,913 --> 00:26:24,784 I say we begin with my personal favorite-- Number 37. 465 00:26:24,817 --> 00:26:26,886 [ Man ] *Put your hands up like 466 00:26:26,919 --> 00:26:29,622 *Do it how you do it when you * 467 00:26:29,656 --> 00:26:32,091 *Uh, uh, uh, yeah 468 00:26:32,124 --> 00:26:34,160 *Put your hands up here Put 'em, put 'em high-- * 469 00:26:34,193 --> 00:26:36,796 Okay, so here's the lowdown. 470 00:26:36,829 --> 00:26:40,332 One of you has got to get you ass signed by a stripper, with photo proof. 471 00:26:40,366 --> 00:26:42,802 All right? 472 00:26:42,835 --> 00:26:45,271 All right, we're gonna go get a drink. Wesley? 473 00:26:45,304 --> 00:26:49,942 Don'tbother us. 474 00:26:49,976 --> 00:26:53,412 - Okay, who's gonna try and do this? -* [ Continues ] 475 00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:56,148 Oh, you guys, Igotthis. 476 00:26:56,182 --> 00:26:58,217 Who's got a pen? Ah. That'll do. 477 00:27:01,921 --> 00:27:04,056 Hey, baby, how's about signin' my ass while I'm up here? 478 00:27:10,362 --> 00:27:12,865 - Whoa! - [ Clamoring ] 479 00:27:12,899 --> 00:27:14,967 She got Cooze! We gotta help him. Bobby. 480 00:27:15,001 --> 00:27:18,637 - [ Groans ] - Ooh! Down goes fatty. 481 00:27:20,707 --> 00:27:22,675 Stripper brawl! 482 00:27:24,110 --> 00:27:28,180 * [ Hard Rock ] 483 00:27:28,214 --> 00:27:30,282 Ooh! Cousin got clothes-lined. That's a shame. 484 00:27:31,818 --> 00:27:34,353 [ Grunts ] 485 00:27:34,386 --> 00:27:36,322 That's gonna leave a big bruise. 486 00:27:41,427 --> 00:27:43,362 Those girls are wild tonight. 487 00:27:45,998 --> 00:27:48,735 I used to fuck girls like you in prison. 488 00:27:48,768 --> 00:27:51,103 [ Groans ] 489 00:27:51,137 --> 00:27:53,806 Oh, I love a good stripper brawl. 490 00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:56,108 Who doesn't? 491 00:27:56,142 --> 00:27:59,879 -[ Cooze ] She started it. - Here's your fuckin' shoe! 492 00:27:59,912 --> 00:28:03,182 What? I didn't do anything. You charged that stripper with a pen, 493 00:28:03,215 --> 00:28:06,085 like you were gonna shove it in her ass. 494 00:28:06,118 --> 00:28:08,187 If her panties had smelled like waffles you'd have done something about it. 495 00:28:08,220 --> 00:28:10,322 Guys, shut up. Shut up. [ Chattering ] 496 00:28:10,356 --> 00:28:12,759 Fat idiot. Ow! 497 00:28:12,792 --> 00:28:14,794 There you go. See? Bad things happen to-- Hey there, gorgeous. 498 00:28:14,827 --> 00:28:17,997 You work here? Yeah, sweetie. 499 00:28:18,030 --> 00:28:20,166 You see, we're pledging the Beta house right now, 500 00:28:20,199 --> 00:28:22,068 and one of our tasks is to get our ass signed... 501 00:28:22,101 --> 00:28:24,470 by a strip-- professional dancer... 502 00:28:24,503 --> 00:28:26,906 like yourself. 503 00:28:26,939 --> 00:28:30,242 So I was just, you know, wondering if maybe you'd do me the honor. 504 00:28:30,276 --> 00:28:32,879 That's a different approach than the boys usually take in this place. 505 00:28:32,912 --> 00:28:34,981 Bend over. 506 00:28:35,014 --> 00:28:38,084 Thanks. My name's Erik Stifler, by the way. 507 00:28:38,117 --> 00:28:40,853 Can I get a shot for the yearbook? 508 00:28:40,887 --> 00:28:43,823 [ Chuckles ] [ Camera Beeps ] 509 00:28:43,856 --> 00:28:47,426 -[ Bobby ] Nice smile. - You any relation to Dwight Stifler? 510 00:28:47,459 --> 00:28:49,929 - He's my cousin. - Hey, Stifler. 511 00:28:49,962 --> 00:28:53,032 Candy, how are you, sweetheart? Good to see you. 512 00:28:53,065 --> 00:28:55,434 I can see where he gets his charm from. 513 00:28:55,467 --> 00:28:58,971 You come see me soon, okay? You know I will. 514 00:28:59,005 --> 00:29:04,210 All right, boys. Hey, congratulations. Task 37 in the bag. 515 00:29:04,243 --> 00:29:08,014 Good job, boys. That's our first task completed. 516 00:29:08,047 --> 00:29:11,017 I think that stripper's implant broke my face. 517 00:29:22,361 --> 00:29:24,964 - Task 15 is go. - [ Honking ] 518 00:29:29,869 --> 00:29:32,839 - Steal an ostrich. - Have sex in the dean's office. 519 00:29:32,872 --> 00:29:35,942 -Serenade a woman at the 901. - Drink a gallon of milk without pissing. 520 00:29:35,975 --> 00:29:39,211 - Do a traditional dance at the International Club. - Open an illegal casino. 521 00:29:39,245 --> 00:29:41,013 Drive down to Mexico and get a tattoo. 522 00:29:41,047 --> 00:29:43,850 Get so drunk you piss your pants. 523 00:30:02,334 --> 00:30:05,204 * [ Classical ] 524 00:30:17,549 --> 00:30:21,253 - Sweet Caesar's ghost. - [ Honks ] 525 00:30:21,287 --> 00:30:23,289 - [ Honking ] - [ Screaming ] 526 00:30:27,059 --> 00:30:30,162 Fifteen-- check. Check. 527 00:30:30,196 --> 00:30:32,331 Sixteen-- check. 528 00:30:32,364 --> 00:30:34,967 [ Speaking Foreign Language ] 529 00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:43,876 Mmm. 530 00:30:43,910 --> 00:30:46,879 Hmm! [ Speaking Foreign Language ] 531 00:30:52,351 --> 00:30:54,520 Who's that guy? He's my Swahili instructor. 532 00:30:54,553 --> 00:30:56,488 I have my proficiency exam next week. 533 00:30:56,522 --> 00:30:59,158 Nice. Yeah. 534 00:30:59,191 --> 00:31:02,228 Hey, what's-- What's this golden hammer doing in here? 535 00:31:02,261 --> 00:31:04,463 Uh, it's from the Greek Olympiad. 536 00:31:04,496 --> 00:31:06,598 It was, like, a series of competitions... 537 00:31:06,632 --> 00:31:08,600 involving skill and deviant behavior. 538 00:31:08,634 --> 00:31:11,470 They got really out of hand, so the university banned them for life. 539 00:31:11,503 --> 00:31:13,239 The Betas were legendary at 'em though. We never lost. 540 00:31:13,272 --> 00:31:15,307 Cool. Yeah. 541 00:31:15,341 --> 00:31:17,343 Oh, and remember, Erik-- 542 00:31:19,478 --> 00:31:22,248 [ Speaking Foreign Language ] 543 00:31:24,716 --> 00:31:27,987 Hmm? Yeah. Yeah. 544 00:31:28,020 --> 00:31:30,056 [ Sniffs ] 545 00:31:31,257 --> 00:31:33,125 Swahili. 546 00:31:33,159 --> 00:31:35,327 * [ Rock ] 547 00:31:35,361 --> 00:31:37,997 [ Erik ] This place is swell, isn't it? [ Ashley ] Yeah. 548 00:31:38,030 --> 00:31:41,033 Look how juicy. Sucking the crab. 549 00:31:41,067 --> 00:31:42,668 Wow. This place is fun. 550 00:31:42,701 --> 00:31:45,037 Yeah. Yeah, this place is awesome. 551 00:31:45,071 --> 00:31:48,941 I thought you'd like it here, you know? 552 00:31:48,975 --> 00:31:51,243 - I like this mallet. - [ Groans ] 553 00:31:51,277 --> 00:31:53,245 [ Laughs ] Oh, my God. Are you okay? 554 00:31:53,279 --> 00:31:55,381 Mmm. Here. 555 00:31:55,414 --> 00:31:58,317 It's all right. Doesn't really taste that bad. 556 00:31:58,350 --> 00:32:00,552 [ Laughing ] Dude, I'm telling you-- 557 00:32:00,586 --> 00:32:02,588 This chick can't get enough of me. 558 00:32:02,621 --> 00:32:05,057 I did her again last night. 559 00:32:05,091 --> 00:32:07,259 I can't believe that. You're the man. 560 00:32:07,293 --> 00:32:09,461 I think I know that girl. 561 00:32:09,495 --> 00:32:12,064 You know, not all frat guys are like those guys. I know. 562 00:32:12,098 --> 00:32:14,233 I guess I just have a jaded opinion. 563 00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:16,468 Really? Why's that? 564 00:32:16,502 --> 00:32:18,570 It's just the typical story. 565 00:32:18,604 --> 00:32:20,572 Boy meets girl. Boy goes off to college, joins a frat. 566 00:32:20,606 --> 00:32:23,242 Starts sleeping with every girl he can. 567 00:32:23,275 --> 00:32:25,711 Girl finds out and dumps his ass during winter break. 568 00:32:25,744 --> 00:32:30,049 - Ooh. - But that was high school. I'm much older and wiser now. 569 00:32:30,082 --> 00:32:33,519 Right. Older and wiser, and... you're on a date with a guy who's pledging a frat. 570 00:32:33,552 --> 00:32:36,488 I know. And I'm watching you. 571 00:32:36,522 --> 00:32:38,224 Dine and ditch. Yeah. 572 00:32:38,257 --> 00:32:39,758 [ Erik ] Yeah, it's one of my favorite-- 573 00:32:39,791 --> 00:32:42,694 Ow! Oh, my God! Are you okay? 574 00:32:42,728 --> 00:32:45,464 Ooh, it's hot. A little help here. 575 00:32:45,497 --> 00:32:48,167 * [ Soft Rock ] 576 00:32:50,469 --> 00:32:54,073 You are just the sweetest. 577 00:32:54,106 --> 00:32:56,175 You just bring it out in me, babe. 578 00:32:58,210 --> 00:33:00,279 [ Man ] *I was captured the moment we met * 579 00:33:00,312 --> 00:33:02,314 - Perfect. - Yeah? 580 00:33:04,583 --> 00:33:07,319 Um-- Careful. 581 00:33:07,353 --> 00:33:10,589 My feet are real sensitive. Really? 582 00:33:10,622 --> 00:33:12,391 Yeah. 583 00:33:12,424 --> 00:33:17,563 *By the way Just in case you care * 584 00:33:17,596 --> 00:33:20,632 -*I took a dive in your deep blue eyes * - Oh, my. 585 00:33:20,666 --> 00:33:23,035 *Never comin' up for air 586 00:33:23,069 --> 00:33:25,104 - I love foot massages. -*I lost myself 587 00:33:25,137 --> 00:33:27,573 * [ Continues ] [ Moans ] 588 00:33:29,108 --> 00:33:31,677 Oh, my. Oh, my. 589 00:33:34,313 --> 00:33:36,715 *One sweet kiss took away my breath * 590 00:33:36,748 --> 00:33:40,419 *And you drew me in with your tenderness * 591 00:33:40,452 --> 00:33:44,256 * [ Continues ] Um, I can't. 592 00:33:51,597 --> 00:33:53,732 I'm sorry. 593 00:33:53,765 --> 00:33:57,503 No, that's cool. It's totally fine. Really. 594 00:33:58,570 --> 00:34:01,707 Here. 595 00:34:01,740 --> 00:34:04,776 Let me just take care of you. 596 00:34:04,810 --> 00:34:07,713 Okay. 597 00:34:07,746 --> 00:34:09,748 [ Laughs ] Whoo. 598 00:34:11,817 --> 00:34:13,719 *Whenever I feel your touch 599 00:34:15,354 --> 00:34:17,423 *Whenever I'm with you 600 00:34:17,456 --> 00:34:19,725 You like that? God, yeah. 601 00:34:19,758 --> 00:34:22,261 You do that almost as good as I do. 602 00:34:27,699 --> 00:34:31,270 * [ Woman Singing Ballad ] 603 00:34:31,303 --> 00:34:33,339 How you feelin'? 604 00:34:33,372 --> 00:34:36,342 Hi. Good. Thanks. 605 00:34:36,375 --> 00:34:38,510 Here. Let me see. Oh. Oh, no, no, no. 606 00:34:38,544 --> 00:34:40,679 Ashley, you really don't need to do anything. Oh, my God, Erik. 607 00:34:40,712 --> 00:34:43,582 - You have to put something on that. - No, it's a little red-- 608 00:34:43,615 --> 00:34:46,252 Here. Let me. 609 00:34:48,354 --> 00:34:50,422 It's really not necessary. 610 00:34:50,456 --> 00:34:52,291 [ Inhales ] Ooh. 611 00:34:52,324 --> 00:34:54,360 Does it hurt? 612 00:34:54,393 --> 00:34:56,395 No. It's just really cold. 613 00:34:57,396 --> 00:35:00,166 Does that feel better? 614 00:35:00,199 --> 00:35:03,169 Yeah. Mm-hmm. 615 00:35:03,202 --> 00:35:05,904 Wow. [ Laughs ] 616 00:35:05,937 --> 00:35:08,907 Oh, man. I didn't even touch it. 617 00:35:08,940 --> 00:35:12,311 No, it's no big deal. I guess I should just take it as a compliment, right? 618 00:35:12,344 --> 00:35:14,546 I'm sorry. Yeah. I'm sorry. It's cool. 619 00:35:16,815 --> 00:35:19,651 Wow. That cream feels good. 620 00:35:19,685 --> 00:35:23,289 Ash, you might want to-- Just relax. 621 00:35:23,322 --> 00:35:25,324 It's still hot. 622 00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:31,563 [ Moaning ] God. 623 00:35:38,870 --> 00:35:40,739 [ Moans ] 624 00:35:41,940 --> 00:35:44,310 [ Moans ] 625 00:35:53,319 --> 00:35:55,721 Oh, my God! Mr. Biggles! 626 00:36:05,731 --> 00:36:08,934 This is really, really embarrassing. No, it's okay. It's okay. 627 00:36:08,967 --> 00:36:12,371 I just haven't seen anything like that. 628 00:36:12,404 --> 00:36:14,906 Well, I was a virgin until last year, 629 00:36:14,940 --> 00:36:19,811 and then my girlfriend dumped me about four months ago. 630 00:36:20,946 --> 00:36:23,449 Okay. Wait, wait, wait. 631 00:36:23,482 --> 00:36:26,218 Are you telling me that you haven't-- 632 00:36:26,252 --> 00:36:28,754 In four months? 633 00:36:28,787 --> 00:36:30,889 Well, you see, there was this, uh, 634 00:36:30,922 --> 00:36:35,694 incident that made masturbation very "taboo"-- 635 00:36:35,727 --> 00:36:38,230 [ Laughs ] in my household. 636 00:36:38,264 --> 00:36:41,400 Well, you have more self-control than most people. 637 00:36:43,034 --> 00:36:45,937 I'm really sorry about Mr. Biggles. 638 00:36:45,971 --> 00:36:48,340 Yeah. 639 00:36:48,374 --> 00:36:50,309 Ooh. 640 00:36:50,342 --> 00:36:52,744 Um-- Here's-- 641 00:36:52,778 --> 00:36:54,980 No. It's-- Right. 642 00:36:56,715 --> 00:36:59,618 [ Bull ] Oh, baby, I love you. 643 00:36:59,651 --> 00:37:02,954 - Baby, why won't you tell me you love me too? - Bull, have you seen Stifler? 644 00:37:02,988 --> 00:37:06,325 - Uh, he's in a meeting. - What meeting would he be at? 645 00:37:06,358 --> 00:37:08,660 I don't know. Something important. 646 00:37:08,694 --> 00:37:11,330 And it was after my parents-- 647 00:37:11,363 --> 00:37:15,467 Well, they had to fire the fourth landscaping crew-- 648 00:37:15,501 --> 00:37:17,636 um-- 649 00:37:17,669 --> 00:37:19,771 because they caught me with them, 650 00:37:19,805 --> 00:37:22,608 and that's when I knew... 651 00:37:22,641 --> 00:37:25,311 that I had a problem. 652 00:37:25,344 --> 00:37:29,748 But I have been sex-free for two years now, 653 00:37:29,781 --> 00:37:32,684 and, you know, never felt better. 654 00:37:32,718 --> 00:37:34,786 Whoo. [ Laughs ] 655 00:37:39,658 --> 00:37:41,560 You are so brave. 656 00:37:43,862 --> 00:37:46,498 Get it in there! Yeah! * [ Rap ] 657 00:37:46,532 --> 00:37:50,569 Faster. Faster. I'm goin' as fast as I can. 658 00:37:50,602 --> 00:37:53,271 Faster, bad boy. [ Laughs ] 659 00:37:54,540 --> 00:37:57,509 Oh, my God. Faster, I said. 660 00:37:57,543 --> 00:37:59,578 Oh! I think I'm gonna-- 661 00:37:59,611 --> 00:38:02,681 - You're gonna break it. - Ooh! Yes! Yes! 662 00:38:02,714 --> 00:38:04,650 Ooh, God, yes. 663 00:38:04,683 --> 00:38:07,319 [ Giggles ] Oh! 664 00:38:07,353 --> 00:38:10,322 Oh, boy. Whoo! 665 00:38:12,391 --> 00:38:15,427 [ Moaning, Giggling ] 666 00:38:20,366 --> 00:38:22,434 Call yourself a man? 667 00:38:22,468 --> 00:38:25,704 Get back here and fuck me. [ Giggles ] 668 00:38:25,737 --> 00:38:27,706 [ Laughs ] 669 00:38:27,739 --> 00:38:29,941 Oh, okay. Okay. All right, listen. 670 00:38:29,975 --> 00:38:34,112 I just did three times. Okay, I'm gonna go get an ice pack, 671 00:38:34,145 --> 00:38:36,014 and then I'll be right back. 672 00:38:36,047 --> 00:38:38,417 You know a secret? 673 00:38:38,450 --> 00:38:40,852 Ice packs are for pussies. 674 00:38:40,886 --> 00:38:42,988 [ Both Laugh ] 675 00:38:43,021 --> 00:38:46,458 Oh, your friend-- He wants to come play. 676 00:38:46,492 --> 00:38:48,427 I wanna see you again. [ Growls ] 677 00:38:48,460 --> 00:38:50,396 [ Laughing ] Oh, yeah. 678 00:38:50,429 --> 00:38:52,431 [ Growling ] [ Laughing ] 679 00:38:52,464 --> 00:38:54,400 You're bad. I'm a grizzly bear. 680 00:38:54,433 --> 00:38:57,436 I'm gonna steal a picnic basket full of orgasms. 681 00:38:57,469 --> 00:39:00,572 [ Growls ] Okay, lay your head back. Lay your head back. 682 00:39:00,606 --> 00:39:03,008 [ Giggling ] Ready? You ready for it? Oh, it's coming. 683 00:39:03,041 --> 00:39:05,644 All right, hands and feet inside the tram. 684 00:39:05,677 --> 00:39:08,380 Next stop: Penetration Station, baby. 685 00:39:12,083 --> 00:39:14,653 Hey! Get back here! 686 00:39:17,689 --> 00:39:21,126 Stifler, I forgot to tell you-- Whoa. 687 00:39:21,159 --> 00:39:24,463 Get your ass... 688 00:39:24,496 --> 00:39:26,465 over here, punk. Okay. 689 00:39:26,498 --> 00:39:28,834 Oh! [ Screams ] 690 00:39:28,867 --> 00:39:30,902 [ Paper Tearing ] 691 00:39:32,738 --> 00:39:36,007 Dude, on her teddy bear? Really? 692 00:39:36,041 --> 00:39:38,644 Dude, he hasn't busted a nut in, like, four months. 693 00:39:38,677 --> 00:39:41,046 What do you think I should do? Man, you gotta beat the bishop. 694 00:39:41,079 --> 00:39:44,616 Yeah, you need to punch that clown-- a lot. 695 00:39:44,650 --> 00:39:46,885 What are you talkin' about? 696 00:39:46,918 --> 00:39:49,621 You need to masturbate, dude. A lot. A lot. 697 00:39:49,655 --> 00:39:52,090 So next time you won't blow your load when you're rounding first base. 698 00:39:52,123 --> 00:39:54,025 Yeah. 699 00:39:59,765 --> 00:40:04,903 *Oh, I can't wait till the sun goes down * 700 00:40:04,936 --> 00:40:10,642 *You and me No one else around * 701 00:40:10,676 --> 00:40:13,879 *Turn the lights down low Just gotta clean the pipes. 702 00:40:13,912 --> 00:40:17,148 *I'm gonna love you all night long * 703 00:40:17,182 --> 00:40:19,485 [ Chorus ] *Gonna love you 704 00:40:19,518 --> 00:40:22,153 *Gonna love you all night long * 705 00:40:22,187 --> 00:40:24,490 *Gonna love you 706 00:40:24,523 --> 00:40:27,459 *Gonna love you all night long * 707 00:40:32,030 --> 00:40:33,932 [ Knocking ] 708 00:40:35,734 --> 00:40:37,903 Who is it? Hey, it's Ashley. 709 00:40:37,936 --> 00:40:40,071 We were gonna hang out, remember? Ye-- 710 00:40:41,673 --> 00:40:44,676 Yeah. Yeah, I remember. 711 00:40:44,710 --> 00:40:47,479 I-- I lost track of time, Ashley. I'll be right there. 712 00:40:47,513 --> 00:40:50,048 - Are you okay in there? - Yeah. 713 00:40:50,081 --> 00:40:53,084 Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. Um-- 714 00:40:53,118 --> 00:40:56,722 - Just gimme one second, okay? - Erik, are you naked? 715 00:40:56,755 --> 00:40:59,024 I'm just putting on my T-shirt right now. 716 00:40:59,057 --> 00:41:01,226 Uh-- There it is. 717 00:41:02,761 --> 00:41:04,796 Hi. Hi. 718 00:41:04,830 --> 00:41:06,932 Can I come in? Uh, no. Uh-- 719 00:41:06,965 --> 00:41:09,801 The place is actually a mess. Bobby's disgusting. 720 00:41:09,835 --> 00:41:11,970 Oh, yeah. But I know a cool place we can go. 721 00:41:12,003 --> 00:41:13,972 Cool. 722 00:41:14,005 --> 00:41:15,774 [ Door Closes ] 723 00:41:17,208 --> 00:41:19,511 * [ Woman Singing Pop ] 724 00:41:19,545 --> 00:41:21,279 Yeah. All right. 725 00:41:21,312 --> 00:41:25,116 Right hand, yellow. 726 00:41:25,150 --> 00:41:28,019 Ooh. I love this game. 727 00:41:28,053 --> 00:41:31,189 Don't you fall, or you're losin' those boxers. 728 00:41:31,222 --> 00:41:34,526 [ Laughs ] Oh, really? 729 00:41:34,560 --> 00:41:38,029 [ Groans ] Are you okay? 730 00:41:38,063 --> 00:41:40,599 Uh, yeah. Ow. 731 00:41:40,632 --> 00:41:42,634 Hi. Hi. 732 00:41:52,043 --> 00:41:54,112 Oh. 733 00:41:59,050 --> 00:42:01,152 I'm sorry. 734 00:42:01,186 --> 00:42:03,955 What-- Are you-- Are you a virgin or something? Or-- 735 00:42:03,989 --> 00:42:07,092 No. [ Exhales ] 736 00:42:07,125 --> 00:42:09,327 It's just, when I-- 737 00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:11,563 When I get too excited-- 738 00:42:13,298 --> 00:42:15,200 Oh, it's embarrassing. 739 00:42:20,806 --> 00:42:22,941 Here. 740 00:42:22,974 --> 00:42:25,276 Let me just take care of you again. 741 00:42:25,310 --> 00:42:27,178 Okay. 742 00:42:29,147 --> 00:42:31,783 [ Laughing ] Oh, wait, wait, wait. 743 00:42:31,817 --> 00:42:34,953 Cheers. Cheers. 744 00:42:34,986 --> 00:42:37,288 Mmm. Mmm. [ Laughs ] 745 00:42:37,322 --> 00:42:39,625 [ Man ] *Something in your eyes Let me get that for you-- 746 00:42:39,658 --> 00:42:42,861 *Makes me realize A little spillage. No big deal. 747 00:42:42,894 --> 00:42:45,130 [ Man ] *The stars always shine brighter * 748 00:42:45,163 --> 00:42:48,299 *When you're near 749 00:42:48,333 --> 00:42:51,169 [ Gasps ] It's not gonna go off again, is it? 750 00:42:51,202 --> 00:42:54,139 Absolutely not. I've been practicing my self-control-- a lot. 751 00:42:54,172 --> 00:42:56,074 A lot? A lot. 752 00:42:56,107 --> 00:42:59,044 *Is all I need 753 00:43:00,145 --> 00:43:02,247 *You're my everything 754 00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:08,053 *You're all I've been waiting for * 755 00:43:08,086 --> 00:43:11,723 * [ Continues ] 756 00:43:11,757 --> 00:43:14,726 *You're my everything [ Giggles ] 757 00:43:16,828 --> 00:43:19,264 [ Clears Throat ] Come on. 758 00:43:19,297 --> 00:43:22,067 Just how much have you been working on your self-control? 759 00:43:24,035 --> 00:43:26,638 I'm really sorry. It's-- 760 00:43:26,672 --> 00:43:28,406 It's not working. [ Laughs ] 761 00:43:28,439 --> 00:43:31,710 My stupid friends-- They said that if I would-- 762 00:43:31,743 --> 00:43:34,813 Erik, it-- It's okay. It happens. 763 00:43:34,846 --> 00:43:36,715 Wine? 764 00:43:39,384 --> 00:43:42,220 [ Helicopters Overhead ] 765 00:43:46,191 --> 00:43:48,159 All right, boys. We got a live one here. 766 00:43:48,193 --> 00:43:50,662 Two klicks north. Three klicks east. 767 00:43:50,696 --> 00:43:52,831 All right. Three klicks east. 768 00:43:54,900 --> 00:43:57,368 [ Dwight ] Let's blast her-- The big, giant ones. 769 00:43:57,402 --> 00:43:59,270 Fire in the hole. 770 00:44:01,072 --> 00:44:03,909 Oh! 771 00:44:03,942 --> 00:44:07,779 - Oh, my God. - [ Laughing ] 772 00:44:07,813 --> 00:44:09,848 [ Inhaling ] Ahh. 773 00:44:09,881 --> 00:44:12,784 I love the smell of boobies in the morning. 774 00:44:12,818 --> 00:44:14,686 Hey, so how's it goin' with Denise? Mmm. 775 00:44:14,720 --> 00:44:16,955 Well, okay, so we hooked up, 776 00:44:16,988 --> 00:44:19,357 and... 777 00:44:19,390 --> 00:44:23,762 - she gave me a couple hand jobs. - [ Laughing ] Hand jobs? 778 00:44:23,795 --> 00:44:25,864 They're actually the best hand jobs I've ever had in my life. 779 00:44:25,897 --> 00:44:29,234 - Oh, really? - Shut up. 780 00:44:29,267 --> 00:44:32,303 The only problem is, I tried to stick my hand down her pants-- 781 00:44:32,337 --> 00:44:35,006 She pulls my hands away... 782 00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:37,909 and says she's embarrassed. Uh-oh. 783 00:44:37,943 --> 00:44:41,079 Maybe she has an abnormally large bush. 784 00:44:41,112 --> 00:44:44,149 Yeah, or maybe she's got a yeast infection. Ooh. Ugh. Come on. 785 00:44:44,182 --> 00:44:47,853 - Maybe she's got a dick. - Huh? 786 00:44:47,886 --> 00:44:50,121 What?Crying Game, Boys Don't Cry? 787 00:44:50,155 --> 00:44:52,190 - That's based on true stories, boys. - No. 788 00:44:52,223 --> 00:44:55,160 No. There's no way. Hey, man, maybe she's a hermaphrodite. 789 00:44:55,193 --> 00:44:58,029 Transvestite? Little Shanghai surprise? 790 00:44:58,063 --> 00:45:01,499 You said yourself she gives you the best hand jobs you ever had in your whole life. 791 00:45:01,532 --> 00:45:05,303 - Yeah. So? - So how do you think she got so good at it? 792 00:45:05,336 --> 00:45:09,474 - Probably from workin' her own gear. - [ Laughing ] 793 00:45:09,507 --> 00:45:12,410 So you guys think I might have been hooking up with a dude this whole time? 794 00:45:12,443 --> 00:45:15,146 Maybe. There's only one way to find out. 795 00:45:15,180 --> 00:45:18,483 You gotta get into those pants. 796 00:45:18,516 --> 00:45:21,219 Oh, wait. This is too perfect. Load it up. Load it up right now. 797 00:45:21,252 --> 00:45:24,055 [ All Laughing ] 798 00:45:25,490 --> 00:45:27,759 [ Dwight ] Sorry! 799 00:45:27,793 --> 00:45:30,762 -Whoo! Yeah! - [ All Laughing ] 800 00:45:30,796 --> 00:45:34,966 * [ Man Singing Ballad ] 801 00:45:41,172 --> 00:45:43,408 [ Moans ] 802 00:45:43,441 --> 00:45:45,343 I want you to go down on me, Cooze. 803 00:45:45,376 --> 00:45:47,312 Are you sure? Uh-huh. 804 00:45:47,345 --> 00:45:50,481 'Cause I can wait. No. I want you down there now. 805 00:45:50,515 --> 00:45:52,383 Okay. 806 00:45:54,052 --> 00:45:56,021 That's it, Cooze. 807 00:46:00,558 --> 00:46:02,427 [ Muttering ] 808 00:46:03,528 --> 00:46:05,496 That's it, Cooze. 809 00:46:05,530 --> 00:46:07,933 Suck my cock! 810 00:46:07,966 --> 00:46:10,768 She's got a dick! Hey, are you okay? 811 00:46:12,570 --> 00:46:16,274 Oh, my God. I just had the worst nightmare. 812 00:46:16,307 --> 00:46:18,877 What was it about? 813 00:46:18,910 --> 00:46:21,880 And who's got a dick? I do. 814 00:46:23,414 --> 00:46:26,517 [ Screaming ] 815 00:46:30,555 --> 00:46:32,858 Oh, my God. 816 00:46:32,891 --> 00:46:36,461 I can't take this anymore. [ Sighs ] 817 00:46:39,064 --> 00:46:42,033 [ Phone Rings ] 818 00:46:44,102 --> 00:46:47,138 [ Ringing Continues ] 819 00:46:53,011 --> 00:46:57,115 Hello? [ Ashley ] I thought you were gonna call me. 820 00:46:57,148 --> 00:47:01,219 Oh, hey. Uh, yeah. I-- I fell asleep. 821 00:47:01,252 --> 00:47:03,221 I'm sorry. [ Knock On Door ] 822 00:47:03,254 --> 00:47:05,423 Were you dreaming about me? 823 00:47:05,456 --> 00:47:07,592 Maybe. 824 00:47:07,625 --> 00:47:09,494 Hey, can you hold on for one sec? 825 00:47:11,997 --> 00:47:14,099 'Cause this... 826 00:47:15,433 --> 00:47:17,135 isn't a dream. 827 00:47:23,174 --> 00:47:25,243 Oh, God. That's not mine. That's Bobby's. 828 00:47:34,585 --> 00:47:36,988 Uh, that's not mine. 829 00:47:43,694 --> 00:47:45,931 [ Chuckles ] 830 00:47:53,104 --> 00:47:56,975 - Whoo! - Guys! What the hell are you doing? 831 00:47:57,008 --> 00:48:01,446 Number 33, baby. We got a chance to do Number 33, but we gotta go now. 832 00:48:01,479 --> 00:48:04,115 Half-naked girl here. Sorry, Ashley. 833 00:48:04,149 --> 00:48:06,184 Dude, the manager just called. He's got an opening. 834 00:48:06,217 --> 00:48:08,486 We haven't even rehearsed for that bit yet. 835 00:48:08,519 --> 00:48:10,655 It's our only chance, man. [ Whispers ] Do it. 836 00:48:10,688 --> 00:48:13,558 Really? 837 00:48:13,591 --> 00:48:16,427 Ashley, it is Number 33. 838 00:48:16,461 --> 00:48:21,466 Maybe... we could finish later, or something? 839 00:48:21,499 --> 00:48:23,568 It's cool. 840 00:48:25,303 --> 00:48:27,572 Really? Mm-hmm. I'm coming with you. 841 00:48:29,307 --> 00:48:31,309 We rocked that place. 842 00:48:31,342 --> 00:48:33,478 [ Screaming ] 843 00:48:33,511 --> 00:48:37,715 Number 46: Sex in the stacks. Chalk it up. 844 00:48:37,748 --> 00:48:40,651 *I just put on my night face * 845 00:48:40,685 --> 00:48:44,689 Number 26: Receive a golden shower. 846 00:48:44,722 --> 00:48:48,293 Twenty-seven: Perform a Cleveland steamer. Check. 847 00:48:48,326 --> 00:48:50,528 Get a panda in the grotto. 848 00:48:50,561 --> 00:48:55,967 Thirty: Get a "blumpkin." After corned beef. It was disgusting. 849 00:48:56,001 --> 00:48:58,403 -All right. Yeah. - Yeah. 850 00:48:58,436 --> 00:49:01,006 By the power granted to me by the great country of Canada, 851 00:49:01,039 --> 00:49:05,610 I now pronounce you life partners. [ Cheering ] 852 00:49:05,643 --> 00:49:08,446 - Would you like to seal it with a kiss? - [ Chuckling ] 853 00:49:08,479 --> 00:49:13,484 Number 41: Make it official. 854 00:49:13,518 --> 00:49:16,554 [ Chuckles ] 'Cause I'm a gentleman. 855 00:49:16,587 --> 00:49:22,127 Wow. You boys are such an inspiration. 856 00:49:22,160 --> 00:49:24,329 I think it's time we do a little mid-semester celebrating. What do you think? 857 00:49:24,362 --> 00:49:26,331 Yes. Definitely. 858 00:49:26,364 --> 00:49:28,199 * [ Hip-hop ] 859 00:49:28,233 --> 00:49:31,569 *Let me get to work, baby I don't wanna waste time * 860 00:49:31,602 --> 00:49:36,274 *I've been known to flirt Every time I go I face time See whatever works * 861 00:49:36,307 --> 00:49:39,677 Stifler. I'm afraid I gotta see everyone's I.D.'s. 862 00:49:39,710 --> 00:49:43,381 - What? -Come on, Manni. You're joking, right? 863 00:49:43,414 --> 00:49:46,417 I'm afraid not. You see, the new ownership of this establishment... 864 00:49:46,451 --> 00:49:49,054 doesn't condone underage drinking. 865 00:49:49,087 --> 00:49:52,757 Officers, please escort these minors from the premises. 866 00:49:52,790 --> 00:49:55,426 -Can I touch your gun? - All right, okay. -[ Edgar ] Bye-bye. 867 00:49:55,460 --> 00:49:57,628 You're fuckin' with traditions, Edgar. 868 00:49:57,662 --> 00:50:00,498 I'm not just fucking with your traditions. 869 00:50:00,531 --> 00:50:03,368 I'm tearing them down. [ Chuckles ] 870 00:50:03,401 --> 00:50:05,703 Take him away. 871 00:50:07,572 --> 00:50:10,341 You know, you are way too classy... 872 00:50:10,375 --> 00:50:14,345 and have way too nice of a body to be hanging out with a douche bag. 873 00:50:14,379 --> 00:50:17,648 [ Chuckling ] Don't listen to him, honey. Your body isn't that great. 874 00:50:17,682 --> 00:50:19,584 I'll have a gimlet, please. Thank you. 875 00:50:21,352 --> 00:50:23,488 Stifler. What? 876 00:50:23,521 --> 00:50:25,723 - Your lawyer's here. - Excellent. Thanks, Marty. Send him in. 877 00:50:27,725 --> 00:50:30,361 You have a lawyer? 878 00:50:31,829 --> 00:50:34,732 Thanks for coming. I'm glad you got here. 879 00:50:34,765 --> 00:50:37,335 Well, you know me, I'm always down for the cause. 880 00:50:37,368 --> 00:50:40,838 - Betas for life, baby. - Betas for life. 881 00:50:40,871 --> 00:50:43,474 - Mr. Levenstein. - Hey, Eric. How's your mom and dad? 882 00:50:43,508 --> 00:50:45,743 They're good. They're really good, actually. 883 00:50:45,776 --> 00:50:49,280 Well, that's good. Hey, guys, this is Noah. He's a Beta alum. 884 00:50:49,314 --> 00:50:51,849 He's our house counsel and consigliere. This guy... 885 00:50:51,882 --> 00:50:54,585 has gotten us out of more shit than you can even imagine. 886 00:50:54,619 --> 00:50:57,555 Well, you Beta boys do keep me busy. That's for sure. 887 00:50:57,588 --> 00:50:59,724 Now, I've just talked to the district attorney. 888 00:50:59,757 --> 00:51:02,727 He's an old school chum of mine. He's willing to drop all the charges... 889 00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:07,132 if you promise never to set foot in the Silver Dollar again. 890 00:51:08,533 --> 00:51:11,169 This is ridiculous. 891 00:51:11,202 --> 00:51:13,371 Where am I gonna have Sunday brunch? 892 00:51:13,404 --> 00:51:17,242 Oh, look, I know you're upset. They do have a great omelet bar. That's for sure. 893 00:51:17,275 --> 00:51:21,179 - But, uh, you're just gonna have to give it up. - No, we can't. 894 00:51:21,212 --> 00:51:26,551 These geeks, these geeks are messin' with the Beta way of life. 895 00:51:26,584 --> 00:51:28,319 You want to, uh, step inside, Noah? 896 00:51:28,353 --> 00:51:30,388 Oh, it's open? Yeah. 897 00:51:30,421 --> 00:51:33,324 Oh, thanks, Marty. 898 00:51:33,358 --> 00:51:36,794 If you wanna grab a sandwich, I'll just be a minute. 899 00:51:36,827 --> 00:51:39,697 Look, fellas, 900 00:51:39,730 --> 00:51:43,834 there is a bigger picture here than the "Beta way of life." 901 00:51:43,868 --> 00:51:46,571 Is that what you thought when you were in the Beta house? 902 00:51:48,573 --> 00:51:50,575 No. 903 00:51:50,608 --> 00:51:52,910 No, it wasn't. 904 00:51:52,943 --> 00:51:56,581 - So-- -So I think something has to be done here... 905 00:51:56,614 --> 00:51:59,417 within the confines of the law, of course. Of course. 906 00:51:59,450 --> 00:52:01,552 Of course. 907 00:52:01,586 --> 00:52:04,289 So, uh, what would you do? 908 00:52:04,322 --> 00:52:09,394 What would I do? 909 00:52:09,427 --> 00:52:15,566 I would crush those geeks with every Beta muscle in my body. 910 00:52:15,600 --> 00:52:19,504 - [ Groans ] - But that's just me. 911 00:52:19,537 --> 00:52:21,672 See you boys at homecoming. 912 00:52:21,706 --> 00:52:23,608 Say hi to your folks, Eric. I will. Thank you. 913 00:52:33,818 --> 00:52:36,221 [ Whispering ] What are we doing? 914 00:52:36,254 --> 00:52:38,323 We gotta find their trophy, bro. 915 00:52:52,603 --> 00:52:55,506 Freeze, human. 916 00:52:55,540 --> 00:52:57,775 [ Hissing ] 917 00:53:00,778 --> 00:53:04,682 [ Grunting ] 918 00:53:04,715 --> 00:53:09,854 [ Speaking Foreign Language ] 919 00:53:09,887 --> 00:53:12,357 Uphold the Galactic Alliance... 920 00:53:12,390 --> 00:53:14,725 with my cock. [ Growling ] 921 00:53:14,759 --> 00:53:17,462 [ Grunting, Groaning ] 922 00:53:19,530 --> 00:53:21,799 What the hell is going on in there? 923 00:53:21,832 --> 00:53:24,835 Sounds like a dog with its dick stuck in a vacuum. 924 00:53:24,869 --> 00:53:27,405 Hey, this way. Come on. I'm a husky ninja. 925 00:53:27,438 --> 00:53:28,873 Shh. Hyah! 926 00:53:33,344 --> 00:53:34,945 [ Erik ] There it is, the motherboard. 927 00:53:34,979 --> 00:53:37,648 Oh. 928 00:53:37,682 --> 00:53:39,750 [ Swallows ] 929 00:53:39,784 --> 00:53:42,787 [ Gasps ] Guys, I really gotta take a dump. 930 00:53:42,820 --> 00:53:46,757 Oh, come on. Not now. That fast food I ate put me over. 931 00:53:46,791 --> 00:53:48,693 [ Groaning ] I can't wait. 932 00:53:50,628 --> 00:53:54,765 Well, hurry up then. That guy is disgusting. 933 00:53:54,799 --> 00:53:56,767 Hold that. 934 00:53:56,801 --> 00:53:58,969 Okay. All right. 935 00:54:05,676 --> 00:54:07,678 All right. 936 00:54:10,080 --> 00:54:12,550 Gently. 937 00:54:13,951 --> 00:54:16,587 All right. [ Alarm Blaring ] 938 00:54:16,621 --> 00:54:18,489 Come on. 939 00:54:18,523 --> 00:54:22,627 - Bobby. -[ Alarm Continues ] 940 00:54:22,660 --> 00:54:26,797 - Ooh! Bobby, what are you doing, man? - Upper-decker, baby. 941 00:54:26,831 --> 00:54:29,300 - Shh. - [ Whispering ] Oh. Upper-decker, baby. 942 00:54:29,334 --> 00:54:33,538 [ Groaning ] Oh, my God. 943 00:54:33,571 --> 00:54:35,873 - Betas, we are leaving. - Go, go, go! 944 00:54:41,379 --> 00:54:43,448 [ Panting ] What's happening? 945 00:54:52,523 --> 00:54:58,663 Well, pledges, you completed every task on the task board in record time. 946 00:54:58,696 --> 00:55:01,966 I, along with every other Beta in this room, are proud... 947 00:55:01,999 --> 00:55:05,503 to call you our brothers. 948 00:55:05,536 --> 00:55:08,639 - Congratulations. You're all Betas. -[ Applause ] 949 00:55:09,874 --> 00:55:11,876 [ Cheering ] 950 00:55:12,777 --> 00:55:15,946 Hey, Cuz. 951 00:55:15,980 --> 00:55:17,648 Here you go. 952 00:55:21,719 --> 00:55:24,655 [ Beeping ] Oh, la, la. Gracias. 953 00:55:24,689 --> 00:55:26,957 De nada. 954 00:55:26,991 --> 00:55:29,594 It sounds like you got yourself a pretty good girl there, buddy. 955 00:55:29,627 --> 00:55:31,696 Oh, yeah. You know what, now that pledge is finally over... 956 00:55:31,729 --> 00:55:33,631 we can spend a lot more time together too. 957 00:55:38,068 --> 00:55:42,006 What, are you kidding me, Edgar? Get you and the Mensa rejects out of my house now. 958 00:55:43,674 --> 00:55:47,812 [ Beeping ] 959 00:55:47,845 --> 00:55:49,947 You have crossed me for the last time, Stifler! 960 00:55:53,150 --> 00:55:56,387 We're gonna settle this once and for all. 961 00:55:58,823 --> 00:56:01,692 Whoa! Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa! 962 00:56:01,726 --> 00:56:04,629 What the fuck? 963 00:56:08,132 --> 00:56:10,468 [ Roaring ] 964 00:56:10,501 --> 00:56:12,470 We, the members of the geek house, 965 00:56:12,503 --> 00:56:14,539 challenge you, the Beta house, 966 00:56:14,572 --> 00:56:17,542 to the Greek Olympiad. The Greek Olympiad? 967 00:56:17,575 --> 00:56:20,811 As much as I'd love to kick your geek ass up and down the field, Ed, 968 00:56:20,845 --> 00:56:24,081 I hate to tell you the Greek Olympiad has been banned for, like, 40 years. 969 00:56:24,114 --> 00:56:26,684 [ Chuckling ] What's the matter? 970 00:56:26,717 --> 00:56:29,887 Afraid to get into a little trouble, Stifler? 971 00:56:29,920 --> 00:56:32,089 Afraid? 972 00:56:32,122 --> 00:56:34,058 [ Chuckles ] Let's do this. 973 00:56:34,091 --> 00:56:38,496 Oh, but there is one catch. We are playing for charters. 974 00:56:38,529 --> 00:56:43,000 If we win, you give up your charter, and you move out of the Beta house. 975 00:56:43,033 --> 00:56:46,871 And if you win, we move out... 976 00:56:46,904 --> 00:56:51,008 - and you take our house. - This place against your mansion? 977 00:56:51,041 --> 00:56:54,512 Consider it another tradition I plan to tear down. 978 00:56:55,646 --> 00:56:57,548 You're on. 979 00:56:57,582 --> 00:57:01,619 [ Chuckling ] Vaya con Dios. 980 00:57:01,652 --> 00:57:06,891 Are you out of your mind? The Greek Olympiad has been banned for life. 981 00:57:06,924 --> 00:57:08,893 You'll all get thrown off campus. 982 00:57:08,926 --> 00:57:11,696 That's a chance we're gonna have to take. 983 00:57:11,729 --> 00:57:13,998 Oh, but the Greek Olympiad is crazy. 984 00:57:14,031 --> 00:57:18,202 I mean, yes, it's a combination skill, endurance, athleticism, granted, 985 00:57:18,235 --> 00:57:20,971 but there is a degree of perversion in these games... 986 00:57:21,005 --> 00:57:24,809 which I don't think would serve you kids well. 987 00:57:24,842 --> 00:57:28,613 Do you happen to remember the name of the last captain to ever win the Greek Olympiad? 988 00:57:28,646 --> 00:57:31,782 Well, I haven't the foggiest, because it was so long ago. I-- His name... 989 00:57:31,816 --> 00:57:34,585 was Noah Levenstein. 990 00:57:34,619 --> 00:57:36,787 Uh-huh. 991 00:57:36,821 --> 00:57:39,223 Well, I knew that would catch up to me one day. 992 00:57:39,256 --> 00:57:42,226 But, you know, fellas, look, I didn't know what was going on back then. 993 00:57:42,259 --> 00:57:45,896 - I was just a dumb kid. - Mr. Levenstein, we need you. 994 00:57:45,930 --> 00:57:51,268 Tradition states that the last team captain to win comes back to officiate. 995 00:57:51,301 --> 00:57:55,840 I know it's tradition. I-- I-- 996 00:57:55,873 --> 00:57:59,243 I suppose I could do it. I'd have to call in and take a few personal days. 997 00:57:59,276 --> 00:58:02,647 -Excellent. You will not regret this. I promise you. -Stifler! 998 00:58:02,680 --> 00:58:04,882 This just came for you, man. What is it? 999 00:58:09,854 --> 00:58:11,956 This is interesting. 1000 00:58:12,857 --> 00:58:15,526 Hello. 1001 00:58:17,061 --> 00:58:20,030 I'm here. What's this big bombshell? 1002 00:58:27,572 --> 00:58:29,540 Are you sure you weren't followed? 1003 00:58:29,574 --> 00:58:31,976 You. What the hell are you doing here? 1004 00:58:35,880 --> 00:58:38,549 - Well, well, Stifler. - Rock. 1005 00:58:38,583 --> 00:58:42,753 Looks like we meet again. All right. This is a setup. I'm out of here. 1006 00:58:42,787 --> 00:58:44,889 Relax, ass clown. 1007 00:58:44,922 --> 00:58:47,057 The enemy of my enemy is my friend. 1008 00:58:47,091 --> 00:58:50,761 What we had was a rivalry. 1009 00:58:50,795 --> 00:58:53,664 But what Edgar did got us kicked off campus. 1010 00:58:54,932 --> 00:58:58,669 Wait, how-how do you even know the guy? 1011 00:58:58,703 --> 00:59:01,205 He tried to pledge our house three years ago. 1012 00:59:01,238 --> 00:59:06,310 He was the first regular-size guy to rush the little-person frat. 1013 00:59:06,343 --> 00:59:09,179 They used to have this tradition where we put a sheep in the basement. 1014 00:59:09,213 --> 00:59:11,949 Be gentle. They'd tell us we had to bang the sheep... 1015 00:59:11,982 --> 00:59:15,119 and that we couldn't come out until the rubber was used. 1016 00:59:15,152 --> 00:59:17,688 Now, one of two things happened. 1017 00:59:17,722 --> 00:59:21,759 [ Sheep Bleating ] Either they would come out crying, 1018 00:59:21,792 --> 00:59:27,064 or they would beat off in the rubber and say they did the sheep. 1019 00:59:27,097 --> 00:59:29,900 And then, there was Edgar. 1020 00:59:31,902 --> 00:59:34,071 - Good luck. -[ Bleating ] 1021 00:59:34,104 --> 00:59:36,874 [ Groaning ] 1022 00:59:36,907 --> 00:59:40,377 Oh, I'll be gentle. It's okay. What the fuck? 1023 00:59:40,410 --> 00:59:42,312 [ Edgar Moaning ] We gotta check it out. 1024 00:59:42,346 --> 00:59:45,950 [ Edgar Moaning ] 1025 00:59:48,052 --> 00:59:51,155 [ Groaning ] 1026 00:59:51,188 --> 00:59:53,691 - For the love of God, man. - [ Bleats ] 1027 00:59:53,724 --> 00:59:57,762 That sick bastard fucked the sheep. 1028 00:59:57,795 --> 01:00:02,332 That's a great story, but I'm a little unclear on how it helps me. 1029 01:00:02,366 --> 01:00:06,170 [ Sighs ] I'm sure you'll figure something out, "Shitler." 1030 01:00:08,072 --> 01:00:10,641 * [ Fanfare ] 1031 01:00:10,675 --> 01:00:13,343 [ Cheering ] 1032 01:00:23,387 --> 01:00:26,724 Welcome to the Greek Olympiad. 1033 01:00:26,757 --> 01:00:30,928 [ Cheering ] 1034 01:00:34,832 --> 01:00:40,270 Competing today in this ancient tradition are the Beta house-- 1035 01:00:40,304 --> 01:00:43,040 [ Cheering ] Beta, Beta, Beta. 1036 01:00:43,073 --> 01:00:45,676 and the geek house. 1037 01:00:45,710 --> 01:00:48,412 [ Cheering ] 1038 01:00:48,445 --> 01:00:52,349 Now, when we think of the term "Greek Olympiad," 1039 01:00:52,382 --> 01:00:57,287 we-- we hearken back to ancient traditions. 1040 01:00:57,321 --> 01:01:02,092 Uh, we conjure up images of mighty warriors... 1041 01:01:02,126 --> 01:01:06,230 in their little skirts getting all oiled up, 1042 01:01:06,263 --> 01:01:09,199 uh, writhing around with each other. 1043 01:01:09,233 --> 01:01:14,705 Some called it wrestling. Others called it something else. 1044 01:01:14,739 --> 01:01:19,844 But, uh, enough history. On with the games. 1045 01:01:19,877 --> 01:01:21,812 [ Cheering ] 1046 01:01:27,885 --> 01:01:31,021 The first event is called: The Release of Venus. 1047 01:01:31,055 --> 01:01:36,493 The man who undoes all the brassieres on his side the quickest wins. 1048 01:01:36,526 --> 01:01:39,764 You know, Ed. It's really a shame... 1049 01:01:39,797 --> 01:01:42,432 all that practice on your sister's training bra is not gonna pay off. 1050 01:01:42,466 --> 01:01:46,136 Please, Dwight. I spent a season in Milan dating lingerie models. 1051 01:01:46,170 --> 01:01:48,072 It was before I met you. 1052 01:01:48,105 --> 01:01:50,040 * [ Fanfare ] 1053 01:01:50,074 --> 01:01:52,376 Gentlemen, are we ready? 1054 01:01:52,409 --> 01:01:55,880 - Get in there. -Decline and fall, Dwight. Decline and fall. 1055 01:01:57,181 --> 01:01:59,149 Start unsnapping. 1056 01:02:06,891 --> 01:02:09,459 *Put your finger in the pie 1057 01:02:09,493 --> 01:02:15,399 *Make you come Make you wanna cry * 1058 01:02:15,432 --> 01:02:19,403 You know, I still hold the record in this event. The hands of a surgeon. 1059 01:02:19,436 --> 01:02:24,942 *On a dead-ender I'm on a bender, a bender * 1060 01:02:24,975 --> 01:02:27,144 - [ Cooze ] Whoa, what's up with Edgar? - The chick's got double D's. 1061 01:02:27,177 --> 01:02:29,079 Quad clasps are really difficult to deal with. 1062 01:02:29,113 --> 01:02:31,415 *I'm on a bender, a bender A bender for you * 1063 01:02:31,448 --> 01:02:35,219 - [ Groaning ] - [ Crowd Cheers ] 1064 01:02:35,252 --> 01:02:39,824 - Done. Done. - [ Cheering ] 1065 01:02:39,857 --> 01:02:42,092 Betas win. 1066 01:02:42,126 --> 01:02:45,930 - [ Cheering ] -*I'm on a bender, a bender A bender for you * 1067 01:02:48,265 --> 01:02:50,534 Hey, nice try, Edgar. 1068 01:02:50,567 --> 01:02:54,104 Oh, sorry, sweetheart. I guess I was just in the zone. 1069 01:02:54,138 --> 01:02:57,174 You know, with a little more to work with, I might have won. 1070 01:02:57,207 --> 01:03:02,246 The next event is the Battle of Ares. 1071 01:03:02,279 --> 01:03:08,385 Two men fighting to the death... 1072 01:03:08,418 --> 01:03:11,922 or until one knocks the other into the water. 1073 01:03:14,258 --> 01:03:18,595 Whoo! You guys are so done, Edgar. Bull's an animal with this thing. 1074 01:03:18,628 --> 01:03:21,431 Why don't you just save some face? Give me the deed to your place now. 1075 01:03:21,465 --> 01:03:25,102 Not quite yet. You haven't met our new initiate, have you? 1076 01:03:28,305 --> 01:03:31,842 [ Crowd Murmurs ] 1077 01:03:34,644 --> 01:03:36,580 His name is Dave Maul. 1078 01:03:36,613 --> 01:03:39,283 And he is the number-one-rated light saber fighter... 1079 01:03:39,316 --> 01:03:41,151 on the science fiction convention tour. 1080 01:03:41,185 --> 01:03:43,120 Oh, he's a virgin. [ Laughing ] 1081 01:03:43,153 --> 01:03:46,323 Are you ready, boys? Joust. 1082 01:03:55,032 --> 01:03:58,068 Yeah, come on! 1083 01:03:58,102 --> 01:04:01,405 - [ Crowd Gasps ] - [ Cheering ] 1084 01:04:05,209 --> 01:04:07,144 Oh, shit! 1085 01:04:09,579 --> 01:04:11,848 [ Groaning ] 1086 01:04:16,020 --> 01:04:17,955 Finish him. 1087 01:04:19,456 --> 01:04:21,225 No! 1088 01:04:22,659 --> 01:04:25,495 - [ Groaning ] - [ Cheering ] 1089 01:04:25,529 --> 01:04:28,032 Geeks win. 1090 01:04:28,065 --> 01:04:30,300 I need a beer. 1091 01:04:30,334 --> 01:04:33,637 The next event is called Demeter's Feast. 1092 01:04:33,670 --> 01:04:37,607 Now, in ancient Rome, the pig was considered sacred, 1093 01:04:37,641 --> 01:04:41,912 and, uh, often sacrificed to the goddess of agriculture. 1094 01:04:41,946 --> 01:04:45,415 Today, we've taken a pig, uh, greased it up, 1095 01:04:45,449 --> 01:04:48,385 and the first one who catches it wins. 1096 01:04:48,418 --> 01:04:53,090 - [ Snorting ] - [ Speaking French ] 1097 01:04:53,123 --> 01:04:55,092 Hey, you sure you're up for this pigging? 1098 01:04:55,125 --> 01:04:58,128 Stifler, I grew up on a farm with 652 pigs. 1099 01:04:58,162 --> 01:05:01,665 I can tell what the pig is thinking. 1100 01:05:01,698 --> 01:05:03,633 [ Squealing ] 1101 01:05:05,402 --> 01:05:08,472 Come here. [ Shouts ] 1102 01:05:08,505 --> 01:05:12,076 - [ Crowd Gasps ] - Silly little fat man. 1103 01:05:12,109 --> 01:05:15,079 Hey, Edgar, what's the deal with Captain Sulu? He afraid to compete? 1104 01:05:15,112 --> 01:05:17,181 You haven't heard of parkour, have you? 1105 01:05:17,214 --> 01:05:20,084 Lunettes. Allez. 1106 01:05:23,320 --> 01:05:25,322 - [ Crowd Gasps ] - What the-- - [ Groans ] 1107 01:05:25,355 --> 01:05:28,458 - Go, go, go! - [ Squealing ] 1108 01:05:28,492 --> 01:05:30,560 Come here, piggy! Come here, piggy! 1109 01:05:36,066 --> 01:05:38,502 Pig, pig, pig, piggy! 1110 01:05:43,607 --> 01:05:46,476 [ Squealing ] 1111 01:05:49,479 --> 01:05:51,982 [ Growling ] 1112 01:06:04,061 --> 01:06:06,496 Come here, pork chop. 1113 01:06:07,597 --> 01:06:10,200 Geeks! 1114 01:06:34,758 --> 01:06:39,196 - [ Squealing ] - [ Cheering ] 1115 01:06:39,229 --> 01:06:42,366 [ Levenstein ] Geeks win! 1116 01:06:48,238 --> 01:06:54,744 Greek roulette is a very dangerous game, not for the faint of heart. 1117 01:06:54,778 --> 01:06:57,814 One of these chambers contains a capsule... 1118 01:06:57,847 --> 01:07:01,618 with aged horse, uh, semen. 1119 01:07:01,651 --> 01:07:04,154 [ Groaning ] 1120 01:07:04,188 --> 01:07:07,491 Gentlemen, let us begin. 1121 01:07:07,524 --> 01:07:11,061 [ Clamoring ] 1122 01:07:11,095 --> 01:07:13,063 [ Man ] Give 'em only one shot. 1123 01:07:20,704 --> 01:07:23,507 [ Groaning ] 1124 01:07:28,645 --> 01:07:31,581 [ Man ] Come on. Come on. [ Man Come on, Dwight. 1125 01:07:33,117 --> 01:07:35,485 Oh. 1126 01:07:35,519 --> 01:07:40,257 It's gonna be empty. Come on. 1127 01:07:40,290 --> 01:07:43,560 I gotta hand it to you, Edgar. I really didn't think you'd have thehuevosfor this. 1128 01:07:43,593 --> 01:07:45,061 I thought you'd probably recruit one of your lackeys. 1129 01:07:45,095 --> 01:07:49,233 I wouldn't miss watching you shoot yourself full of horse semen for anything. 1130 01:07:51,768 --> 01:07:54,638 Come on, man. [ All Chattering ] 1131 01:07:54,671 --> 01:07:57,141 Stuff it in there. It's all good. It's all good. 1132 01:07:59,409 --> 01:08:02,379 [ Cheering ] 1133 01:08:02,412 --> 01:08:04,814 - Yes! - Yes! 1134 01:08:07,551 --> 01:08:09,819 Your turn, big boss. 1135 01:08:09,853 --> 01:08:12,256 Come on. Come on. 1136 01:08:12,289 --> 01:08:14,724 - Come on. - Come on. Yeah! 1137 01:08:14,758 --> 01:08:16,660 [ All Shouting ] 1138 01:08:19,629 --> 01:08:22,866 [ Screaming ] 1139 01:08:22,899 --> 01:08:25,902 [ Laughing ] Yeah! 1140 01:08:25,935 --> 01:08:28,238 - Put two canisters in there. - Two? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Two? 1141 01:08:28,272 --> 01:08:30,374 That's too many, Dwight. Come on. Two. He's not worth it. 1142 01:08:30,407 --> 01:08:33,910 Unless Edgar's afraid, put in two canisters. 1143 01:08:33,943 --> 01:08:36,780 Fine! Put in two! 1144 01:08:37,781 --> 01:08:40,784 Put in two. 1145 01:08:43,187 --> 01:08:46,656 -[ Man ] Oh, man. - Go. 1146 01:08:46,690 --> 01:08:51,161 [ Speaking Foreign Language ] 1147 01:08:51,195 --> 01:08:55,299 [ All Shouting ] 1148 01:08:55,332 --> 01:08:57,834 All right, all right. All right. All right. 1149 01:08:57,867 --> 01:09:00,237 Everyone quiet! 1150 01:09:00,270 --> 01:09:02,872 - We good? - Don't worry about it. 1151 01:09:02,906 --> 01:09:05,475 - You're good, baby. There's nothing in there. - Oh, no. I can't watch. 1152 01:09:06,543 --> 01:09:08,712 [ Screaming ] 1153 01:09:08,745 --> 01:09:14,251 - Yes! - Yeah! Yes! 1154 01:09:14,284 --> 01:09:16,920 - Yes! -Betas rule! 1155 01:09:16,953 --> 01:09:18,688 - You're up. - You're next. 1156 01:09:18,722 --> 01:09:21,925 [ All Shouting ] 1157 01:09:21,958 --> 01:09:24,761 Do it. Go. 1158 01:09:24,794 --> 01:09:28,665 Do it. Do it! Do it! 1159 01:09:28,698 --> 01:09:32,502 Pull the fuckin' trigger. Do it! Do it! 1160 01:09:32,536 --> 01:09:34,904 Do it! Pull it! 1161 01:09:38,375 --> 01:09:40,910 Oh, boy. 1162 01:09:43,347 --> 01:09:44,981 We won! 1163 01:09:45,014 --> 01:09:46,983 Betas win. 1164 01:09:47,016 --> 01:09:49,853 Enjoy Mr. Ed's jizz. How's the semen taste, Ed? 1165 01:09:53,590 --> 01:09:55,892 Tough loss there, Edgar, but you know what they say, son, 1166 01:09:55,925 --> 01:09:59,863 you've gotta get right back up on that horse... so to speak. 1167 01:09:59,896 --> 01:10:01,931 [ Sobbing ] 1168 01:10:01,965 --> 01:10:05,302 * [ Fanfare ] 1169 01:10:05,335 --> 01:10:10,574 The ancient game of the wife carry has been around for centuries. 1170 01:10:10,607 --> 01:10:14,344 The first couple to complete the course wins. 1171 01:10:14,378 --> 01:10:16,713 - [ Cheering ] - You owe me big time for this. 1172 01:10:16,746 --> 01:10:18,915 I know. 1173 01:10:18,948 --> 01:10:22,619 - Okay. Ready? - All right. 1174 01:10:22,652 --> 01:10:25,689 All right. 1175 01:10:25,722 --> 01:10:28,558 How pathetic. [ Scoffs ] Now. 1176 01:10:33,463 --> 01:10:36,300 What, are you-- Really? You trying to give Bandhu a hernia? 1177 01:10:36,333 --> 01:10:38,568 Oh, once again, your pathetic little brain has let you down, Dwight. 1178 01:10:38,602 --> 01:10:40,870 Bandhu, up. 1179 01:10:40,904 --> 01:10:44,474 [ All Chattering ] 1180 01:10:44,508 --> 01:10:47,411 All right, Erik. We got this. Let's go. 1181 01:10:47,444 --> 01:10:49,746 We're fucked. 1182 01:10:49,779 --> 01:10:52,616 [ Pistol Fires ] 1183 01:10:52,649 --> 01:10:55,785 - Come on, Erik. Let's go, let's go, let's go. - We can beat those Betas. 1184 01:10:55,819 --> 01:10:57,921 Pick up the pace. Faster, faster, faster. 1185 01:10:57,954 --> 01:11:00,424 How do you feel about that advantage? Let's go. 1186 01:11:00,457 --> 01:11:03,460 [ All Chattering ] 1187 01:11:06,830 --> 01:11:08,698 [ All Shouting ] 1188 01:11:12,636 --> 01:11:15,505 [ Shouting ] 1189 01:11:20,043 --> 01:11:24,548 Maybe I should have carried you. 1190 01:11:24,581 --> 01:11:28,718 Man, that is one scary chick. That's a chick? 1191 01:11:32,055 --> 01:11:35,425 And now, the Peloponnesian War. 1192 01:11:35,459 --> 01:11:38,562 The first team to consume an entire keg wins. 1193 01:11:38,595 --> 01:11:40,864 Throwing up does not disqualify. 1194 01:11:40,897 --> 01:11:44,634 Gentlemen, inside this cylindrical casing of aluminum... 1195 01:11:44,668 --> 01:11:47,937 lies 55 metric liters of malted alcohol. 1196 01:11:47,971 --> 01:11:50,740 Remember, fellas, don't underestimate these geeks. 1197 01:11:50,774 --> 01:11:52,842 Most of them are lonely problem drinkers. All right? 1198 01:11:52,876 --> 01:11:56,480 Beware, gentlemen. These men know how to drink. 1199 01:11:56,513 --> 01:12:00,016 But we are more than they are. We are more than men. 1200 01:12:00,049 --> 01:12:03,019 We, sirs, are geeks. 1201 01:12:03,052 --> 01:12:07,424 All right, boys. Battle. 1202 01:12:07,457 --> 01:12:10,126 - Gentlemen, chugalug. - I can out-drink you fucks! 1203 01:12:10,159 --> 01:12:12,596 Batten down the hatches! 1204 01:12:13,830 --> 01:12:17,601 [ Screaming ] 1205 01:12:17,634 --> 01:12:19,669 We are geeks. We can do this. 1206 01:12:19,703 --> 01:12:22,606 - [ Screaming ] - Edgar! 1207 01:12:25,074 --> 01:12:28,945 I only have one thing to say to you. What's that, you philistine? 1208 01:12:36,786 --> 01:12:39,823 Puking doesn't disqualify. 1209 01:12:39,856 --> 01:12:42,992 All geeks, attack. 1210 01:12:50,534 --> 01:12:52,669 Come on, Edgar. Let's see what you got, bitch. 1211 01:12:55,872 --> 01:12:59,142 That's all you got? That's all you got? 1212 01:12:59,175 --> 01:13:03,112 Give it back. Give it back. 1213 01:13:03,146 --> 01:13:07,551 Save yourselves! 1214 01:13:07,584 --> 01:13:11,655 Back to the keg! Oh, we got a man down! 1215 01:13:11,688 --> 01:13:14,558 Gentlemen, we need to attain maximum efficiency. 1216 01:13:14,591 --> 01:13:17,026 Irene, attach the device. 1217 01:13:22,566 --> 01:13:24,501 What the hell is that? What is that thing? 1218 01:13:24,534 --> 01:13:27,937 Open valves. 1219 01:13:27,971 --> 01:13:30,674 That's the geeks taking the lead. It's time for our secret weapon. 1220 01:13:30,707 --> 01:13:32,942 Wesley! Wesley! 1221 01:13:32,976 --> 01:13:34,878 [ Shouting ] [ Man ] Let's go. 1222 01:13:34,911 --> 01:13:37,714 Keg stand, now! 1223 01:13:37,747 --> 01:13:40,016 About damn time! 1224 01:13:42,786 --> 01:13:45,889 Open the valve all the way. We need warp speed on this motherfucker. 1225 01:13:50,994 --> 01:13:54,564 - Betas win. - [ Cheering ] 1226 01:14:00,870 --> 01:14:06,075 With the Greek Olympiad tied, we now go into sudden death. 1227 01:14:10,680 --> 01:14:15,552 The final event is called: The Rise of Aphrodite. 1228 01:14:15,585 --> 01:14:19,723 Quite simply, the first man who... 1229 01:14:19,756 --> 01:14:24,928 excretes his manly, uh, juices, 1230 01:14:24,961 --> 01:14:29,799 in the, uh, ejaculatory sense, 1231 01:14:29,833 --> 01:14:31,901 uh, loses. 1232 01:14:40,276 --> 01:14:42,579 I cannot wait to see you come in your pants. 1233 01:14:42,612 --> 01:14:44,914 Let's do this. 1234 01:14:47,717 --> 01:14:49,819 *We used to be attached at the hip * 1235 01:14:49,853 --> 01:14:51,988 *Now distance attacking our relationship * 1236 01:14:52,021 --> 01:14:55,625 *I know you got to handle your biz I tried to be a good girl * 1237 01:14:55,659 --> 01:14:57,594 Pi is equal to 3.1415-- 1238 01:14:57,627 --> 01:15:00,229 - No big deal at all. - 59787-- 1239 01:15:00,263 --> 01:15:03,633 I feel like Santa Claus at the local shopping mall. 1240 01:15:07,070 --> 01:15:09,573 - That was nothing. -That was nothing for me either. No big deal. 1241 01:15:09,606 --> 01:15:11,875 - *Pick it, pick it up - *Bring it back and let it down * 1242 01:15:11,908 --> 01:15:14,110 - *Pick it, pick it up - *Bring it back and make it stop * 1243 01:15:14,143 --> 01:15:16,179 - *Pick it, pick it up - *Bring it back and let it drop * 1244 01:15:16,212 --> 01:15:18,748 *Go ahead, mama You're a phenomenon * 1245 01:15:18,782 --> 01:15:20,817 - *Pick it, pick it up - *Bring it back and let it down * 1246 01:15:20,850 --> 01:15:23,219 - *Pick it, pick it up - *Bring it back and make it stop * 1247 01:15:23,252 --> 01:15:25,254 - *Pick it, pick it up - *Bring it back and let it drop * 1248 01:15:25,288 --> 01:15:27,757 I like your boobs. [ Bobby ] Look at this! 1249 01:15:27,791 --> 01:15:31,260 Pretend you're sucking my man breasts. 1250 01:15:31,294 --> 01:15:35,231 Give it up, Stifler. This is a game of mind over matter. 1251 01:15:35,264 --> 01:15:38,034 And my brain is way bigger than yours. 1252 01:15:38,067 --> 01:15:43,339 I've got experience on my side. I'll take that over your Vulcan mind tricks any day. 1253 01:15:43,372 --> 01:15:46,943 We shall see. Bring her in. 1254 01:15:46,976 --> 01:15:49,613 We flew this young lady in from Las Vegas. 1255 01:15:49,646 --> 01:15:51,981 She's the number-one stripper in the Emerald City. 1256 01:15:52,015 --> 01:15:54,818 Enjoy, Dwight. 1257 01:15:54,851 --> 01:15:56,953 *Don't have to ask why 1258 01:15:56,986 --> 01:15:59,155 - No. - Oh. 1259 01:15:59,188 --> 01:16:01,024 Good luck. 1260 01:16:01,057 --> 01:16:04,027 *Don't have to ask why 1261 01:16:04,060 --> 01:16:07,030 *Just get them hands high Just raise 'em to the sky * 1262 01:16:07,063 --> 01:16:09,899 I'm in trouble here, boys. 1263 01:16:09,933 --> 01:16:12,669 This chick is ridiculous. Bring her in. 1264 01:16:12,702 --> 01:16:14,871 Code red! Code red! 1265 01:16:18,908 --> 01:16:20,977 [ Bleating ] 1266 01:16:23,713 --> 01:16:26,315 - [ Bleating ] - What the fuck? 1267 01:16:30,386 --> 01:16:33,690 Look at my tail, Edgar. Look how fluffy it is. 1268 01:16:33,723 --> 01:16:36,292 [ Edgar ] Stop, please. 1269 01:16:36,325 --> 01:16:39,863 - Somebody make her stop. - What's the matter, Edgar? You got a little wool fetish? 1270 01:16:39,896 --> 01:16:43,066 No. 1271 01:16:44,233 --> 01:16:47,070 [ Edgar Moaning ] 1272 01:16:50,406 --> 01:16:53,943 He's done. 1273 01:17:00,216 --> 01:17:03,720 - Betas win. - [ Cheering ] 1274 01:17:05,221 --> 01:17:07,691 [ Chanting ] Beta, Beta, Beta. 1275 01:17:07,724 --> 01:17:10,293 Beta, Beta, Beta, Beta. 1276 01:17:10,326 --> 01:17:12,696 [ Chanting Continues ] 1277 01:17:20,169 --> 01:17:25,341 To the winners-- I now present the golden hammer... 1278 01:17:25,374 --> 01:17:30,279 - to Beta house. - Beta, baby. 1279 01:17:30,313 --> 01:17:33,349 Congratulations, Stifler. You've kept the Beta traditions alive. 1280 01:17:33,382 --> 01:17:35,785 Thanks, Noah. Betas for life? 1281 01:17:35,819 --> 01:17:38,888 - Betas for life. - Yeah. 1282 01:17:40,156 --> 01:17:43,727 * [ Vocalizing ] 1283 01:17:43,760 --> 01:17:46,095 * [ Singing, Indistinct ] 1284 01:17:46,129 --> 01:17:48,164 Now this is a frat party. 1285 01:17:48,197 --> 01:17:50,934 No, this is a Beta party. 1286 01:17:50,967 --> 01:17:54,270 *Put yourself upon the ground Back there and rock them different times * 1287 01:17:54,303 --> 01:17:57,774 *Can't come back one day to rhyme spent my dime run down the line * 1288 01:17:57,807 --> 01:18:01,410 *Your time's up don't hesitate Chop the suckers off like Norman Bates, yeah * 1289 01:18:01,444 --> 01:18:03,847 *Get on and open up your brain * 1290 01:18:03,880 --> 01:18:07,250 *We hit it to this minute 'Cause you told them how you came * 1291 01:18:07,283 --> 01:18:11,087 - *How you what - *Came 1292 01:18:11,120 --> 01:18:12,756 *My big-league rhyme is a major rap * 1293 01:18:12,789 --> 01:18:16,159 Hey, I got a little surprise for you. Yeah? 1294 01:18:18,928 --> 01:18:22,165 A little present for you being so patient and understanding. 1295 01:18:22,198 --> 01:18:24,400 Okay. 1296 01:18:24,433 --> 01:18:28,037 - Are you ready for your present? - [ Laughing ] I'm not sure. 1297 01:18:28,071 --> 01:18:32,842 I'm really confused right now, and I'm trying to keep an open mind, but-- 1298 01:18:32,876 --> 01:18:37,346 [ Thinking ] Oh, man, this is fucked up, even for me. 1299 01:18:37,380 --> 01:18:39,949 - Here it comes. - [ Thinking ] Oh, my God. If it's bigger than mine, 1300 01:18:39,983 --> 01:18:42,185 I swear I'm gonna pass out. 1301 01:18:42,218 --> 01:18:46,155 - I'm not wearing any panties. - [ Thinking ] Oh. 1302 01:18:46,189 --> 01:18:48,792 Easy, Cooze. Everybody can see you. 1303 01:18:48,825 --> 01:18:51,260 Well, I'm sure we could find someplace around here with a little privacy. 1304 01:18:51,294 --> 01:18:53,797 Okay. Let's go. 1305 01:18:53,830 --> 01:18:56,199 *Dance, come on 1306 01:18:56,232 --> 01:18:59,268 * [ Continues, Indistinct ] 1307 01:18:59,302 --> 01:19:01,437 Where are you taking me? 1308 01:19:01,470 --> 01:19:03,739 It's a surprise. You're gonna like it. 1309 01:19:13,382 --> 01:19:15,484 I'm nervous. 1310 01:19:15,518 --> 01:19:18,822 What are you talking about? Everything's gonna be fine. 1311 01:19:18,855 --> 01:19:21,925 Are you sure? Yeah. 1312 01:19:25,128 --> 01:19:28,331 *You try to mend the heart you're breaking * 1313 01:19:28,364 --> 01:19:32,768 Why don't I take care of you? 1314 01:19:34,337 --> 01:19:36,205 Okay. 1315 01:19:37,340 --> 01:19:39,208 Okay. 1316 01:19:50,186 --> 01:19:52,989 Oh, my. 1317 01:19:54,858 --> 01:19:57,293 I can't. I can't. 1318 01:19:57,326 --> 01:20:01,497 Just let yourself go, baby. There is nothing you can do that's gonna surprise me, okay? 1319 01:20:01,530 --> 01:20:03,532 Are you sure? Yeah. 1320 01:20:03,566 --> 01:20:06,102 Okay. 1321 01:20:08,304 --> 01:20:11,040 [ Chuckling ] Why are you bringing me in here? 1322 01:20:11,074 --> 01:20:13,442 Well, this being our new house. 1323 01:20:13,476 --> 01:20:16,179 I thought I'd come up with my own task for the pledge board. 1324 01:20:16,212 --> 01:20:19,382 Mmm. Okay. And what's that gonna be? 1325 01:20:19,415 --> 01:20:21,550 Uh. [ Clears Throat ] 1326 01:20:21,584 --> 01:20:25,588 Well, I think it's kind of better if I, uh-- if I show you. 1327 01:20:25,621 --> 01:20:27,957 [ Projector Whirring ] 1328 01:20:31,027 --> 01:20:34,530 Oh, sex in a movie theater. 1329 01:20:34,563 --> 01:20:37,266 I like the way you think, Erik Stifler. 1330 01:20:37,300 --> 01:20:42,238 *Give me love Give me love * 1331 01:20:42,271 --> 01:20:44,573 *And I'll bring it back to you * 1332 01:20:44,607 --> 01:20:46,976 [ Moaning ] 1333 01:20:53,249 --> 01:20:55,618 I'm coming! I'm coming! 1334 01:20:55,651 --> 01:20:58,154 I'm coming! 1335 01:20:58,187 --> 01:21:00,924 Oh! Oh, my-- 1336 01:21:04,961 --> 01:21:06,562 Okay, I was a little surprised by that. 1337 01:21:06,595 --> 01:21:09,966 I'm sorry. 1338 01:21:09,999 --> 01:21:11,867 It's okay. It's-- 1339 01:21:13,202 --> 01:21:15,371 It's actually really sexy. 1340 01:21:15,404 --> 01:21:17,440 Really? Yeah. 1341 01:21:17,473 --> 01:21:19,142 Can you do that every time? 1342 01:21:19,175 --> 01:21:22,245 - Yeah. - Yeah? 1343 01:21:22,278 --> 01:21:25,148 Yeah. Oh, my God. 1344 01:21:30,486 --> 01:21:33,056 *I was alone in this world and I can't stop * 1345 01:21:33,089 --> 01:21:35,925 *Till I seen little mama in a tank top * Hey, buddy. 1346 01:21:35,959 --> 01:21:37,660 Take a little dip in the pool? Nope. 1347 01:21:37,693 --> 01:21:39,929 Oh, wait a minute. 1348 01:21:42,265 --> 01:21:45,268 Ah, yes. The elusive female ejaculation. 1349 01:21:45,301 --> 01:21:47,603 [ Chuckling ] Not a lot of girls can do that. Congrats. 1350 01:21:47,636 --> 01:21:52,041 *I fell in love today with a boy from around my way * 1351 01:21:52,075 --> 01:21:56,179 *That's because he looked like me * 1352 01:21:56,212 --> 01:22:00,583 *I fell in love today with a boy from around my way * 1353 01:22:00,616 --> 01:22:04,653 *That's because he looked like me * 1354 01:22:04,687 --> 01:22:08,724 *I couldn't help myself I felt like I was a queen * 1355 01:22:08,757 --> 01:22:10,693 *I used to sit around at home alone * 1356 01:22:10,726 --> 01:22:13,562 Beta house fuckin' rules! 1357 01:22:20,336 --> 01:22:25,641 [ All Screaming ] 1358 01:22:25,674 --> 01:22:30,346 *I was so turned on I could barely say * 1359 01:22:30,379 --> 01:22:33,382 *He said come on and gave me a little wink * 1360 01:22:33,416 --> 01:22:38,187 *My brain unfroze and I can only think * 1361 01:22:38,221 --> 01:22:42,225 *I fell in love today with a boy from around my way * 1362 01:22:42,258 --> 01:22:46,229 *That's because he looked like me * 1363 01:22:46,262 --> 01:22:48,664 *I fell in love today with a boy from around my way * 1364 01:22:48,697 --> 01:22:52,001 [ Chanting ] Beta, Beta, Beta, Beta. 1365 01:22:54,803 --> 01:22:56,772 *I can't lose your lovin' 1366 01:22:56,805 --> 01:22:58,707 *No, I can't lose your love 1367 01:22:58,741 --> 01:23:03,212 *I can't lose your lovin' No way * 1368 01:23:03,246 --> 01:23:06,682 *I just got your lovin' Oh, baby, baby * 1369 01:23:06,715 --> 01:23:10,753 *I can't lose your lovin' No, no way * 1370 01:23:15,291 --> 01:23:17,993 [ Chuckling ] Yes. 1371 01:23:19,762 --> 01:23:23,099 [ Toilet Flushing ] 1372 01:23:26,469 --> 01:23:29,438 Hey, big boy. 1373 01:23:29,472 --> 01:23:31,207 Ready to fill me up with some more protein? 1374 01:23:33,809 --> 01:23:40,649 No, no, no, no! 1375 01:23:40,683 --> 01:23:44,220 Ah, yes. The Blackout Menace strikes again. 1376 01:23:44,253 --> 01:23:47,090 *When I wake up mornin' yawning I put up my hands * 1377 01:23:47,123 --> 01:23:50,093 *Thank the lord for what I got and never stop my plans * 1378 01:23:50,126 --> 01:23:52,795 *Givin' all for the cause Gotta keep it up never let my head drop * 1379 01:23:52,828 --> 01:23:55,698 *Make me a home all my own Better make the bed rock * 1380 01:23:55,731 --> 01:23:59,135 *A place for the dog, a garage a yard to play around * 1381 01:23:59,168 --> 01:24:02,105 *Kitchen for missus she'll be fixin' them biscuits golden brown * 1382 01:24:02,138 --> 01:24:05,208 *Got me a shorty and some kids just like a family should * 1383 01:24:05,241 --> 01:24:08,144 *Made a few changes how I live and now it's all good * 1384 01:24:08,177 --> 01:24:11,314 *You're on a rebound Show 'em how you bounce back * 1385 01:24:11,347 --> 01:24:14,283 *How you bounce back Show 'em how you bounce back * 1386 01:24:14,317 --> 01:24:17,353 *You're on a rebound Show 'em how you bounce back * 1387 01:24:17,386 --> 01:24:20,123 *How you bounce back How you bounce back * 1388 01:24:20,156 --> 01:24:23,126 *Super classic realistic homey on the dope * 1389 01:24:23,159 --> 01:24:25,861 *If you close your eyes and miss it ask me why I wrote this * 1390 01:24:25,894 --> 01:24:28,831 *I've come so very far and made this here my home * 1391 01:24:28,864 --> 01:24:31,634 *So if you're thinkin' otherwise I guess you're thinkin' wrong * 1392 01:24:31,667 --> 01:24:34,803 *All it takes is all I got a little bit of try * 1393 01:24:34,837 --> 01:24:37,873 *And if you make my babies cry I'll bust you in your eye * 1394 01:24:37,906 --> 01:24:40,709 *Gonna make it happen ain't no way you can tie me up * 1395 01:24:40,743 --> 01:24:44,347 *'Cause I hocus-pocus keep it focused and you know the steps what's up * 1396 01:24:44,380 --> 01:24:47,516 *You're on a rebound Show 'em how you bounce back * 1397 01:24:47,550 --> 01:24:50,486 *How you bounce back Show 'em how you bounce back * 1398 01:24:50,519 --> 01:24:53,556 *You're on a rebound Show 'em how you bounce back * 1399 01:24:53,589 --> 01:24:56,159 *How you bounce back Show 'em how you bounce back * 1400 01:24:56,192 --> 01:24:58,861 *Hey, what you say Hop in let's roll * 1401 01:24:58,894 --> 01:25:02,298 *Buckle up around that He low like that ain't nobody gotta know * 1402 01:25:02,331 --> 01:25:04,833 *Swing the bat for mama I know big boys hit home runs * 1403 01:25:04,867 --> 01:25:08,404 *I don't discriminate No hate, I've ran bases with smaller ones * 1404 01:25:08,437 --> 01:25:10,639 *I know what I got Kids that work they be on the clock * 1405 01:25:10,673 --> 01:25:14,210 *'Cause they tick, tick tick, ticktock go and make the boys give good stock * 1406 01:25:14,243 --> 01:25:16,679 * [ Continues, Indistinct ] 1407 01:25:16,712 --> 01:25:20,149 *When we at the set no strings attached 'cause I'm on the rebound * 1408 01:25:26,289 --> 01:25:29,425 *You're on a rebound Show 'em how you bounce back * 1409 01:25:29,458 --> 01:25:32,395 *Make your back bounce Make your back bounce * 1410 01:25:32,428 --> 01:25:35,431 *You're on a rebound Show 'em how you bounce back * 1411 01:25:35,464 --> 01:25:38,133 *Make your back bounce Make your back bounce * 1412 01:25:39,435 --> 01:25:43,239 * [ Techno ] 1413 01:25:46,742 --> 01:25:49,845 *It was one of them nights I had one of those things about to go get my drink on * 1414 01:25:49,878 --> 01:25:52,381 *Knew I gotta get right so I picked up my girls in my truck * 1415 01:25:52,415 --> 01:25:54,883 *Cruisin' down the boulevard 1416 01:25:54,917 --> 01:25:56,952 *And then I pull up to the club we hopped out started walkin' * 1417 01:25:56,985 --> 01:25:59,522 *Pass the line said we V.I.P. * 1418 01:25:59,555 --> 01:26:01,790 *Soon as we stepped in chicks started talkin' * *And then I said 1419 01:26:01,824 --> 01:26:05,328 *Anytime you want me, baby There's the front door * 1420 01:26:05,361 --> 01:26:09,265 *We could do it one on one or you could get your people * 1421 01:26:09,298 --> 01:26:12,768 *We could get the crowd hyper We could put on a show * 1422 01:26:12,801 --> 01:26:16,772 *I said You don't really want me and I already know * 1423 01:26:16,805 --> 01:26:18,774 *Inside * [ Indistinct ] 1424 01:26:18,807 --> 01:26:20,776 *Outside *It's a different story 1425 01:26:20,809 --> 01:26:22,511 *Inside *You keep on running your mouth * 1426 01:26:22,545 --> 01:26:24,413 *Outside *You ain't got nothin' for me 1427 01:26:24,447 --> 01:26:26,615 *Inside * [ Indistinct ] 1428 01:26:26,649 --> 01:26:28,451 *Outside *It's a different story 1429 01:26:28,484 --> 01:26:30,486 *Inside *You keep on running your mouth * 1430 01:26:30,519 --> 01:26:32,488 *Outside *You ain't got nothin' for me 1431 01:26:32,521 --> 01:26:34,323 *Gettin' more time than insomniacs * 1432 01:26:34,357 --> 01:26:35,824 *It's a good thing to rest of the cardiacs * 1433 01:26:35,858 --> 01:26:37,760 *Are trying to have a good time with the partiac * 1434 01:26:37,793 --> 01:26:39,562 *Why the drummer gotta start when they call the acts * 1435 01:26:39,595 --> 01:26:41,764 *And as I step in put their bets in * 1436 01:26:41,797 --> 01:26:43,766 *They brace their weapons 'cause they feel threatened * 1437 01:26:43,799 --> 01:26:45,734 *Try to tell them they don't wanna step outside * 1438 01:26:45,768 --> 01:26:47,803 *Have the kid put it under *And then I said 1439 01:26:47,836 --> 01:26:50,939 *Anytime you want me, baby There's the front door * 1440 01:26:50,973 --> 01:26:54,877 *We could do it one on one or you could get your people * 1441 01:26:54,910 --> 01:26:58,581 *We could get the crowd hyper We could put on a show * 1442 01:26:58,614 --> 01:27:02,585 *I said You don't really want me and I already know * 1443 01:27:02,618 --> 01:27:04,587 *Inside * [ Indistinct ] 1444 01:27:04,620 --> 01:27:06,589 *Outside *It's a different story 1445 01:27:06,622 --> 01:27:08,524 *Inside *You keep on running your mouth * 1446 01:27:08,557 --> 01:27:10,393 *Outside *You ain't got nothin' for me 1447 01:27:10,426 --> 01:27:12,395 *Inside * [ Indistinct ] 1448 01:27:12,428 --> 01:27:14,263 *Outside *It's a different story 1449 01:27:14,297 --> 01:27:16,299 *Inside *You keep on running your mouth * 1450 01:27:16,332 --> 01:27:17,900 *Outside *You ain't got nothin' for me 1451 01:27:17,933 --> 01:27:19,668 *Gotta be a issue Gotta be a problem * 1452 01:27:19,702 --> 01:27:21,804 *Just 'cause a chick got more soul than Harlem * 1453 01:27:21,837 --> 01:27:23,739 * [ Continues, Indistinct ] 1454 01:27:23,772 --> 01:27:25,674 *I got chicks don't get in their way * 1455 01:27:25,708 --> 01:27:27,443 *If you really wanted you could get it done * 1456 01:27:27,476 --> 01:27:29,445 *But don't forget I'm the premium * 1457 01:27:29,478 --> 01:27:31,447 *Don't let your mouth write up a check you can't cash * 1458 01:27:31,480 --> 01:27:33,316 *You could get bounced for talkin' trash * *And I said 1459 01:27:33,349 --> 01:27:36,652 *Anytime you want me, baby There's the front door * 1460 01:27:36,685 --> 01:27:40,656 *We could do it one on one or you could get your people * 1461 01:27:40,689 --> 01:27:44,360 *We could get the crowd hyper We could put on a show * 1462 01:27:44,393 --> 01:27:48,364 *I said You don't really want me and I already know * 1463 01:27:48,397 --> 01:27:50,366 *Inside * [ Indistinct ] 1464 01:27:50,399 --> 01:27:51,934 *Outside *It's a different story 1465 01:27:51,967 --> 01:27:53,869 *Inside *You keep on running your mouth * 1466 01:27:53,902 --> 01:27:55,771 *Outside *You ain't got nothin' for me 1467 01:27:55,804 --> 01:27:57,773 *Inside * [ Indistinct ] 1468 01:27:57,806 --> 01:27:59,842 *Outside *It's a different story 1469 01:27:59,875 --> 01:28:01,810 *Inside *You keep on running your mouth * 1470 01:28:01,844 --> 01:28:03,746 *Outside *You ain't got nothin' for me * 1471 01:28:40,716 --> 01:28:43,352 * [ Techno ] 1472 01:28:47,423 --> 01:28:50,893 [ Inhales ] 1473 01:28:50,926 --> 01:28:53,028 Wear this for your next dance, honey. 1474 01:28:53,061 --> 01:28:55,931 Thanks. Baa.