1 00:00:04,976 --> 00:00:07,343 Now, you always have the option to save your allowance for... 2 00:00:07,445 --> 00:00:09,044 - Thanks, Dad. - Thanks, Dad. 3 00:00:09,472 --> 00:00:10,513 What's in there? 4 00:00:10,581 --> 00:00:12,414 Oh, just some items I'm returning. 5 00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:16,252 Watch your mommy turn your father's 3-year-old socks 6 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:18,487 into cold, hard cash. 7 00:00:20,004 --> 00:00:21,757 There's no way they're gonna take those back. 8 00:00:21,826 --> 00:00:24,560 One has button eyes from when Emery turned it into a puppet. 9 00:00:24,629 --> 00:00:28,264 Mom's the queen of returns. Watch the master at work. 10 00:00:28,332 --> 00:00:30,132 He's saying, "You need a receipt." 11 00:00:30,201 --> 00:00:32,701 And Mommy's going, "Are you saying I didn't buy them here? 12 00:00:32,770 --> 00:00:33,903 Are you calling me a liar?" 13 00:00:33,971 --> 00:00:35,638 And he goes, "No. 14 00:00:35,706 --> 00:00:37,439 I guess I can give you store credit." 15 00:00:37,542 --> 00:00:39,408 Then she's all, "Store credit? 16 00:00:39,443 --> 00:00:41,477 Mommy don't play that. Mommy plays for cash." 17 00:00:44,685 --> 00:00:45,753 Oh. 18 00:00:46,851 --> 00:00:48,551 ♪ Ba ba-der-baaaa ♪ 19 00:00:48,999 --> 00:00:49,652 Victory! 20 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:51,921 And that's not even the best part. 21 00:00:53,958 --> 00:00:55,424 Whoa. You had a receipt the whole time? 22 00:00:55,526 --> 00:00:56,458 Why didn't you use it? 23 00:00:56,527 --> 00:00:58,227 I like to challenge myself. 24 00:00:58,329 --> 00:00:59,726 Binder it, baby. 25 00:01:08,506 --> 00:01:09,738 Oh, look! 26 00:01:09,841 --> 00:01:12,508 That page is from when we did three returns in one day. 27 00:01:12,610 --> 00:01:13,642 Remember, Louis? 28 00:01:13,678 --> 00:01:15,010 That was when you gained all that water weight. 29 00:01:15,518 --> 00:01:16,111 Oh. 30 00:01:16,214 --> 00:01:17,880 That was muscle. 31 00:01:19,517 --> 00:01:21,817 S03E21 Pie vs. Cake 32 00:01:21,919 --> 00:01:22,985 ♪ Fresh off the boat ♪ 33 00:01:23,087 --> 00:01:24,687 ♪ I'm gettin' mine everywhere I go ♪ 34 00:01:24,789 --> 00:01:26,989 ♪ If you don't know, homey, now you know ♪ 35 00:01:27,091 --> 00:01:28,257 ♪ Fresh off the boat ♪ 36 00:01:28,359 --> 00:01:30,593 ♪ Homey, you don't know where I come from ♪ 37 00:01:30,695 --> 00:01:32,061 ♪ But I know where I'm goin' ♪ 38 00:01:32,163 --> 00:01:33,181 ♪ I'm fresh off the boat ♪ 39 00:01:33,254 --> 00:01:34,616 sync and corrected by ninh www.addic7ed.com 40 00:01:34,774 --> 00:01:36,326 [School bell rings] 41 00:01:40,938 --> 00:01:42,271 Private-school kids. 42 00:01:42,373 --> 00:01:45,040 What are they doing here? They're gonna get jumped. 43 00:01:45,142 --> 00:01:48,010 They go to school here. That's our debate team. 44 00:01:48,112 --> 00:01:49,345 Debate team? 45 00:01:49,447 --> 00:01:53,315 It's kind of like a sports team, but instead of balls... 46 00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:55,117 they throw formal arguments at each other. 47 00:01:55,219 --> 00:01:57,453 Oh. Is there any physical contact? 48 00:01:57,555 --> 00:01:58,487 Nope. 49 00:01:58,589 --> 00:02:00,089 It's mostly reading and research. 50 00:02:00,191 --> 00:02:01,657 Oh! 51 00:02:01,759 --> 00:02:03,859 I mean, it's really just a ton of extra homework. 52 00:02:03,961 --> 00:02:05,094 Ooh! 53 00:02:05,196 --> 00:02:06,695 Well, if you're into it, 54 00:02:06,797 --> 00:02:09,052 they're having tryouts later this week. 55 00:02:14,672 --> 00:02:16,505 How did I not see that poster before? 56 00:02:16,799 --> 00:02:18,307 We see what we want to see. 57 00:02:18,409 --> 00:02:19,708 Huh. 58 00:02:19,810 --> 00:02:21,777 Oh, Peggy... 59 00:02:21,858 --> 00:02:23,336 _ 60 00:02:23,536 --> 00:02:25,278 _ 61 00:02:25,416 --> 00:02:26,315 Don't worry, son. 62 00:02:26,417 --> 00:02:27,917 You'll score a basket on me someday. 63 00:02:28,019 --> 00:02:29,485 Did you have to yell "Not in my house" 64 00:02:29,553 --> 00:02:30,953 every time you blocked a shot? 65 00:02:31,055 --> 00:02:32,187 Well, if you keep bringing me weak sauce, 66 00:02:32,256 --> 00:02:33,555 I'm gonna keep rejecting it. 67 00:02:33,658 --> 00:02:34,957 [Scoffs] 68 00:02:35,710 --> 00:02:36,859 What's this noise? 69 00:02:36,928 --> 00:02:38,394 I'm entering a contest. 70 00:02:38,496 --> 00:02:39,695 You create your own comic, 71 00:02:39,797 --> 00:02:41,764 and if the publisher likes it, they'll print it, 72 00:02:41,866 --> 00:02:43,299 and they'll give it away for free 73 00:02:43,401 --> 00:02:44,967 a comic-book stores nationwide. 74 00:02:45,069 --> 00:02:46,669 I heard "give it away," "free," 75 00:02:46,737 --> 00:02:48,237 and then I stopped listening. 76 00:02:48,339 --> 00:02:49,738 Well, I think it's awesome. 77 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:51,607 I'm gonna go get my colored pencils. 78 00:02:51,709 --> 00:02:53,242 Enjoy working for free. 79 00:02:53,935 --> 00:02:54,970 _ 80 00:02:55,255 --> 00:02:59,297 _ 81 00:02:59,381 --> 00:03:01,249 _ 82 00:03:01,319 --> 00:03:02,651 The substitute PE teacher? 83 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:04,586 We're not currently on speaking terms. 84 00:03:04,756 --> 00:03:07,922 _ 85 00:03:08,070 --> 00:03:12,840 _ 86 00:03:16,396 --> 00:03:17,866 Is he? 87 00:03:17,969 --> 00:03:19,372 He is. 88 00:03:19,637 --> 00:03:21,437 Garfield's wearing a Rolex. 89 00:03:21,539 --> 00:03:22,604 Grandma Huang: Mm-hmm. 90 00:03:28,379 --> 00:03:30,079 Oh. 91 00:03:30,181 --> 00:03:31,947 Your piano-man scarf. 92 00:03:32,049 --> 00:03:33,215 You found it. 93 00:03:33,317 --> 00:03:34,049 Yeah, it was in 94 00:03:34,151 --> 00:03:35,384 the hurricane emergency kit 95 00:03:35,486 --> 00:03:36,819 in the garage for some reason. 96 00:03:36,921 --> 00:03:38,354 ♪ I haven't worn it ♪ 97 00:03:38,456 --> 00:03:41,523 ♪ For the longest time ♪ 98 00:03:41,625 --> 00:03:42,758 [Imitates notes] 99 00:03:42,860 --> 00:03:43,792 [Chuckles] 100 00:03:43,894 --> 00:03:45,527 Here you go. 101 00:03:45,629 --> 00:03:46,695 Oh, good! 102 00:03:46,797 --> 00:03:49,765 I get a chance to use my new mail-sorting system. 103 00:03:54,205 --> 00:03:55,204 Mommy, I'd like to try out 104 00:03:55,306 --> 00:03:56,772 for the school debate team. 105 00:03:56,874 --> 00:03:58,107 Absolutely not. 106 00:03:58,209 --> 00:03:59,875 It'll take time away from your schoolwork, 107 00:03:59,977 --> 00:04:01,643 they'll charge us for additional supplies, 108 00:04:01,746 --> 00:04:02,978 and I'm not driving all over town 109 00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:04,913 to take you to debate tournaments. 110 00:04:05,016 --> 00:04:06,949 Or... 111 00:04:07,051 --> 00:04:08,584 it'll look good on your transcript, 112 00:04:08,686 --> 00:04:09,985 it's bonus studying, 113 00:04:10,087 --> 00:04:12,388 and it'll be a chance to practice public-speaking skills 114 00:04:12,490 --> 00:04:14,456 for when you become doctor-president. 115 00:04:14,558 --> 00:04:16,458 - Mommy... did you... - Yes. 116 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,460 I debated myself. 117 00:04:18,562 --> 00:04:19,661 Who do you think won? 118 00:04:19,764 --> 00:04:21,463 - Uh... - You did. 119 00:04:21,565 --> 00:04:23,499 Because you're joining the debate team. 120 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:26,168 [Gasps] You tricked me, and I love it. 121 00:04:28,706 --> 00:04:30,606 Hey, can you hand me that pencil? 122 00:04:31,809 --> 00:04:34,782 Man, we work together really well. 123 00:04:35,489 --> 00:04:36,612 Building on that, 124 00:04:36,714 --> 00:04:39,281 I was thinking about your comic-book contest. 125 00:04:39,350 --> 00:04:41,150 Why don't we team up, do it together? 126 00:04:41,252 --> 00:04:43,018 You know I'd love a sibling team-up. 127 00:04:43,087 --> 00:04:44,720 It'd be like my favorite TV show, 128 00:04:44,822 --> 00:04:46,355 "Sister, Sister," 129 00:04:46,424 --> 00:04:47,456 except brothers. 130 00:04:47,525 --> 00:04:50,292 ♪ Brother, brother ♪ 131 00:04:50,394 --> 00:04:51,493 But wait. 132 00:04:51,562 --> 00:04:53,629 I thought you said comic books were a waste of time. 133 00:04:53,697 --> 00:04:54,830 That was hours ago. 134 00:04:54,899 --> 00:04:56,865 I've changed so much since then. 135 00:04:56,934 --> 00:04:59,501 Come on. You draw it, I'll write it. 136 00:04:59,570 --> 00:05:02,004 Together, we could create something amazing 137 00:05:02,106 --> 00:05:03,672 and possibly make millions. 138 00:05:03,774 --> 00:05:04,873 Hmm. 139 00:05:13,050 --> 00:05:14,550 In conclusion, 140 00:05:14,618 --> 00:05:17,686 nobody says "a candy bar a day keeps the doctor away." 141 00:05:17,755 --> 00:05:20,989 Therefore, we need apples in the school vending machines. 142 00:05:21,092 --> 00:05:21,990 Thank you. 143 00:05:22,583 --> 00:05:23,525 Much better. 144 00:05:23,627 --> 00:05:25,294 Nice opening joke, good posture, 145 00:05:25,362 --> 00:05:27,262 and I like how you took away the possibility 146 00:05:27,364 --> 00:05:29,298 of any poison-apple arguments. 147 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:30,399 Right. 148 00:05:30,468 --> 00:05:32,101 Because Snow White lived... 149 00:05:32,169 --> 00:05:34,536 And I quote... "happily ever after." 150 00:05:34,638 --> 00:05:36,038 You're ready for tryouts. 151 00:05:36,140 --> 00:05:37,306 [Gasps] One more tip... 152 00:05:37,408 --> 00:05:39,374 When debating a real person, 153 00:05:39,443 --> 00:05:41,310 use their own words against them. 154 00:05:41,378 --> 00:05:43,912 It traps them in a prison of their own design. 155 00:05:43,981 --> 00:05:46,582 "Own design." 156 00:05:47,106 --> 00:05:47,916 Thanks, Mommy. 157 00:05:48,018 --> 00:05:49,084 Mm-hmm. 158 00:05:49,512 --> 00:05:51,153 Evan, what did you do to my Lowenwasser? 159 00:05:51,559 --> 00:05:52,988 I needed a crest. 160 00:05:53,090 --> 00:05:54,423 Oh. 161 00:05:54,809 --> 00:05:57,025 Well, after a few of these, I'll forget you ever did it. 162 00:06:00,298 --> 00:06:01,997 Mom, you said me and Emery 163 00:06:02,099 --> 00:06:03,699 couldn't read our comic books at the table, 164 00:06:03,767 --> 00:06:05,400 but Evan gets to read his debate book? 165 00:06:05,503 --> 00:06:07,402 Evan is reading an actual book. 166 00:06:07,505 --> 00:06:09,471 You were reading a finished coloring book. 167 00:06:09,540 --> 00:06:12,307 Ah, so he gets a pass 'cause he's a nerd. 168 00:06:12,409 --> 00:06:14,076 Got it. 169 00:06:14,178 --> 00:06:16,778 In formal debate, slander is not permitted 170 00:06:16,847 --> 00:06:18,280 and must be stricken from the record. 171 00:06:18,349 --> 00:06:20,449 Luckily, this is not a formal debate, 172 00:06:20,518 --> 00:06:22,113 and you are a butt face. 173 00:06:22,786 --> 00:06:23,986 What do you all want for dessert? 174 00:06:24,054 --> 00:06:25,988 Hector just made a pineapple right-side-up cake. 175 00:06:26,090 --> 00:06:27,356 He's afraid to flip it. 176 00:06:27,458 --> 00:06:28,557 We'll just take the usual... 177 00:06:28,659 --> 00:06:30,726 One slice of key-lime pie and five spoons. 178 00:06:30,794 --> 00:06:33,228 Although, pineapple cake does sound good. 179 00:06:33,330 --> 00:06:35,430 [Chuckles softly] 180 00:06:36,206 --> 00:06:37,633 [Inhales sharply] No. 181 00:06:37,735 --> 00:06:40,903 Pie is superior because it is filled with nutritious fruit. 182 00:06:41,005 --> 00:06:43,138 It is the healthiest dessert. 183 00:06:43,869 --> 00:06:45,140 In fact, 184 00:06:45,176 --> 00:06:47,843 pie is so good, dessert couldn't contain it. 185 00:06:47,945 --> 00:06:51,613 It burst out into chicken-pot, mincemeat. 186 00:06:51,715 --> 00:06:55,083 It is the food of shepherds, mathematicians... 187 00:06:55,186 --> 00:06:58,654 Pi... Infinite possibilities. 188 00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:00,389 [Light applause] 189 00:07:00,457 --> 00:07:01,823 [Chuckles] 190 00:07:02,473 --> 00:07:04,359 But cake is good... 191 00:07:04,461 --> 00:07:05,561 We'll have that piece of... 192 00:07:05,696 --> 00:07:07,029 And here are the reasons why. 193 00:07:07,131 --> 00:07:08,797 Cake represents joy... 194 00:07:09,288 --> 00:07:11,567 Birthdays, graduations, retirements. 195 00:07:12,043 --> 00:07:13,869 No one's ever heard of a wedding pie. 196 00:07:13,971 --> 00:07:17,041 Every important milestone in your life, cake was there. 197 00:07:17,231 --> 00:07:18,783 Cake watched you grow up. 198 00:07:19,236 --> 00:07:20,409 And sure, 199 00:07:20,511 --> 00:07:24,046 some may say pie burst out, 200 00:07:24,148 --> 00:07:26,148 but I say pie is confused. 201 00:07:26,250 --> 00:07:28,038 It doesn't know what it wants to be. 202 00:07:28,292 --> 00:07:30,252 Is it savory? Is it sweet? 203 00:07:30,571 --> 00:07:32,554 Shepherd's pie has lamb in it. 204 00:07:32,656 --> 00:07:34,698 Do they seem like good shepherds to you? 205 00:07:34,930 --> 00:07:36,560 So, really, when you think about it, 206 00:07:36,676 --> 00:07:38,727 pie is murder. 207 00:07:38,829 --> 00:07:41,630 If you choose life, choose cake. 208 00:07:44,935 --> 00:07:46,401 Let us eat cake! 209 00:07:51,368 --> 00:07:52,632 So, then I said, 210 00:07:52,748 --> 00:07:54,502 "When you think about it, pie is murder. 211 00:07:54,571 --> 00:07:56,538 If you choose life, choose cake." 212 00:07:56,606 --> 00:07:58,573 [Chuckles] I did get political. 213 00:07:58,608 --> 00:07:59,507 Thank you, Zack. 214 00:07:59,576 --> 00:08:01,543 Anyway, the place went crazy. 215 00:08:01,833 --> 00:08:04,179 I learned from the best. Now I'm the best. 216 00:08:04,281 --> 00:08:05,413 [Telephone base clicks] 217 00:08:08,418 --> 00:08:10,051 Let's take a drive. 218 00:08:16,292 --> 00:08:18,025 What do you think? 219 00:08:18,094 --> 00:08:19,560 This is Nice Man. 220 00:08:19,629 --> 00:08:22,196 He uses the power of overwhelming positivity 221 00:08:22,265 --> 00:08:24,298 to diffuse negative situations. 222 00:08:24,367 --> 00:08:27,869 I don't know if he's gonna go with the words I've written. 223 00:08:27,971 --> 00:08:30,438 "Yo mama" jokes? How is that a super power? 224 00:08:30,507 --> 00:08:33,808 My guy's an orphan, so he can tell "yo mama" jokes, 225 00:08:33,877 --> 00:08:36,477 but no one can say them back to him. 226 00:08:36,579 --> 00:08:38,012 Okay. 227 00:08:38,081 --> 00:08:39,714 How about another character? 228 00:08:41,756 --> 00:08:43,150 The Empathizer. 229 00:08:43,219 --> 00:08:45,086 Her power is the superhuman ability 230 00:08:45,154 --> 00:08:47,488 to see things from other people's point of view. 231 00:08:47,590 --> 00:08:48,556 Oh, dope. 232 00:08:48,625 --> 00:08:50,458 So she can see people's thoughts 233 00:08:50,527 --> 00:08:52,393 and use those thoughts to destroy them. 234 00:08:52,495 --> 00:08:53,728 No. 235 00:08:53,830 --> 00:08:55,296 She's not the violent type, 236 00:08:55,398 --> 00:08:57,465 but she could understand why someone else might be. 237 00:08:57,567 --> 00:08:59,867 [Sighs] 238 00:08:59,936 --> 00:09:01,903 I think you and I need to get on the same page. 239 00:09:01,971 --> 00:09:03,337 Why don't we each, separately, 240 00:09:03,406 --> 00:09:05,139 come up with 10 ideas for the comic book? 241 00:09:05,208 --> 00:09:06,841 There's bound to be one we both like. 242 00:09:06,910 --> 00:09:09,377 I hear where you're coming from! 243 00:09:11,147 --> 00:09:14,181 That's The Empathizer's catchphrase. 244 00:09:14,284 --> 00:09:16,083 Not into it? Okay. 245 00:09:16,152 --> 00:09:18,119 10 ideas. Got it. 246 00:09:19,656 --> 00:09:22,089 Mommy, are you really returning our phone? 247 00:09:22,158 --> 00:09:25,026 You bought the five years ago at a Radio Shack in D.C. 248 00:09:25,128 --> 00:09:26,827 Watch the queen conquer. 249 00:09:29,532 --> 00:09:30,765 Oh, no. 250 00:09:30,833 --> 00:09:32,533 I need to return this phone. 251 00:09:32,635 --> 00:09:33,868 I don't believe we sell this phone. 252 00:09:33,937 --> 00:09:35,736 Oh, good, 'cause I'm not asking you to sell it to me. 253 00:09:35,838 --> 00:09:37,338 I'm asking you to take it back. 254 00:09:37,407 --> 00:09:39,073 I'm sorry. I can't. There are limits. 255 00:09:39,175 --> 00:09:41,008 Oh, gosh, I'm sorry. 256 00:09:41,110 --> 00:09:42,910 I didn't realize you owned this store. 257 00:09:42,979 --> 00:09:44,779 - I don't. - Oh. 258 00:09:44,847 --> 00:09:47,181 So, then, who are you to change the rules? 259 00:09:47,283 --> 00:09:48,482 Is Mr. Save-More here? 260 00:09:48,585 --> 00:09:49,584 Does he know that customers 261 00:09:49,686 --> 00:09:51,619 are no longer your first priority? 262 00:09:51,721 --> 00:09:53,154 Ma'am... 263 00:09:53,222 --> 00:09:55,590 you know I love our weekly sparring sessions. 264 00:09:55,658 --> 00:09:58,259 This is my job as much as it is my gym some days. 265 00:09:58,328 --> 00:09:59,527 But do you know how it would make me look 266 00:09:59,596 --> 00:10:01,529 to take back a phone that you didn't even buy here? 267 00:10:01,598 --> 00:10:04,131 I'm sorry, but my final answer is "no." 268 00:10:04,233 --> 00:10:05,366 Do what you will. 269 00:10:05,435 --> 00:10:07,368 [Gasps] Evan: Beep. Beep. 270 00:10:07,470 --> 00:10:09,403 Beep-beep. Beep. 271 00:10:09,505 --> 00:10:11,973 Beep. Beep-beep. 272 00:10:12,041 --> 00:10:12,673 Bee-beep. 273 00:10:12,775 --> 00:10:15,042 Beep. Beep-beep. 274 00:10:15,111 --> 00:10:16,844 Morse code. 275 00:10:16,913 --> 00:10:18,412 That's how we used to communicate. 276 00:10:18,514 --> 00:10:20,881 But now... we use the telephone. 277 00:10:20,950 --> 00:10:22,483 It's what connects us. 278 00:10:22,552 --> 00:10:23,884 That's why it's vital 279 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:25,453 to have one that you're happy with. 280 00:10:25,488 --> 00:10:27,688 I'm sorry, sir, but you're gonna have to wait. 281 00:10:27,790 --> 00:10:28,723 I'm with someone. 282 00:10:28,825 --> 00:10:30,224 I'll be honest with you, Roger. 283 00:10:30,326 --> 00:10:31,258 You're right. 284 00:10:31,361 --> 00:10:33,060 We didn't buy the phone at this store. 285 00:10:33,129 --> 00:10:34,228 But that shouldn't matter. 286 00:10:34,297 --> 00:10:35,730 Let me ask you something. 287 00:10:35,832 --> 00:10:36,631 Do you have a mother? 288 00:10:36,733 --> 00:10:37,832 I do. 289 00:10:37,900 --> 00:10:39,667 Well, then, imagine your mother 290 00:10:39,769 --> 00:10:41,602 taking time out of her busy day 291 00:10:41,671 --> 00:10:43,738 to come down here, looking for help, 292 00:10:43,806 --> 00:10:45,773 only to have someone embarrass her 293 00:10:45,875 --> 00:10:48,442 in front of you, her son. 294 00:10:48,544 --> 00:10:49,777 Oh, no. 295 00:10:49,879 --> 00:10:51,545 Do the right thing, Roger, 296 00:10:51,614 --> 00:10:55,082 not for the store, but for mothers everywhere. 297 00:10:55,184 --> 00:10:57,184 They're not perfect... 298 00:10:57,286 --> 00:10:59,720 but they're ours. 299 00:10:59,822 --> 00:11:01,789 Okay. 300 00:11:01,891 --> 00:11:03,758 I'm gonna take the phone back... 301 00:11:03,826 --> 00:11:05,926 and use it to call my mother. 302 00:11:05,995 --> 00:11:08,829 Chapter 8... "Emotional Manipulation." 303 00:11:10,967 --> 00:11:12,533 Binder it, Mommy. 304 00:11:17,473 --> 00:11:19,040 [Mechanical whirring] 305 00:11:22,178 --> 00:11:23,477 What's going on? 306 00:11:23,546 --> 00:11:25,312 I thought we were supposed to be working on our 10 ideas. 307 00:11:25,415 --> 00:11:26,480 I am. 308 00:11:26,549 --> 00:11:28,349 Watching Trent play "Turok" is part of my process. 309 00:11:28,451 --> 00:11:29,216 Right, Trent? 310 00:11:29,285 --> 00:11:32,453 Yeah, he's been, uh... 311 00:11:32,555 --> 00:11:34,755 [Buttons clicking] 312 00:11:34,857 --> 00:11:36,524 [Sighs] 313 00:11:36,626 --> 00:11:39,794 [Scribbling aggressively] 314 00:11:39,862 --> 00:11:42,363 Here, what do you think of this? 315 00:11:42,432 --> 00:11:45,499 Lazy Boy uses the power of flimsy excuses 316 00:11:45,568 --> 00:11:47,902 to deflect responsibility and hard work. 317 00:11:48,004 --> 00:11:49,503 Looks kind of rushed. 318 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:52,306 Lazy Boy is you! 319 00:11:52,375 --> 00:11:53,374 You wanted to team up, 320 00:11:53,443 --> 00:11:55,009 but you don't want to do any of the work. 321 00:11:55,111 --> 00:11:56,711 I thought we were doing this as brothers. 322 00:11:56,779 --> 00:11:58,045 You've spent more time with Trent 323 00:11:58,147 --> 00:11:58,946 than you have with me. 324 00:11:59,048 --> 00:11:59,814 Whoa! 325 00:11:59,916 --> 00:12:01,382 Don't bring me into... 326 00:12:01,451 --> 00:12:02,983 [Grunting] 327 00:12:03,086 --> 00:12:04,719 You wanted me to do all the work, 328 00:12:04,821 --> 00:12:06,220 which, come to think of it, 329 00:12:06,289 --> 00:12:08,656 is just like an episode of "Sister, Sister" I saw. 330 00:12:08,758 --> 00:12:11,559 But it was my least... favorite. 331 00:12:11,661 --> 00:12:13,394 I'm going back to doing my own comic. 332 00:12:13,496 --> 00:12:14,595 Have fun with your game. 333 00:12:14,664 --> 00:12:16,831 Fine! I can trace my own comic book! 334 00:12:16,933 --> 00:12:18,065 It's not that hard. 335 00:12:18,167 --> 00:12:20,201 The words are the best good anyway! 336 00:12:20,303 --> 00:12:23,437 Man, your brother is really... 337 00:12:23,506 --> 00:12:25,506 [Grunting] 338 00:12:28,277 --> 00:12:29,176 Louis: Jessica? 339 00:12:29,278 --> 00:12:30,811 Why are all the lights off? 340 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:33,914 Because Evan wanted them off, and who am I to argue? 341 00:12:35,384 --> 00:12:37,151 Are you okay? 342 00:12:37,253 --> 00:12:38,319 Look at this. 343 00:12:38,421 --> 00:12:40,988 This is Evan's binder of returns. 344 00:12:41,090 --> 00:12:42,623 He made it. 345 00:12:42,658 --> 00:12:45,226 He wants me to hold it for him. 346 00:12:45,294 --> 00:12:47,628 He's better than me at arguing. 347 00:12:47,730 --> 00:12:49,230 It's his kingdom now. 348 00:12:49,298 --> 00:12:51,532 The queen is dead. 349 00:12:51,667 --> 00:12:53,467 [Strained] Long live the prince. 350 00:12:53,569 --> 00:12:55,035 Okay. 351 00:12:55,071 --> 00:12:56,203 Even if that's true, 352 00:12:56,305 --> 00:12:57,505 is it really so bad? 353 00:12:57,607 --> 00:12:59,473 We want our kids to be better than us, don't we? 354 00:12:59,575 --> 00:13:02,243 Of course, eventually. 355 00:13:02,345 --> 00:13:03,744 But not today! 356 00:13:03,846 --> 00:13:06,480 How would you feel if Eddie beat you at basketball? 357 00:13:06,582 --> 00:13:08,549 Well, I'd be sad. 358 00:13:09,819 --> 00:13:10,684 Ooh! 359 00:13:10,787 --> 00:13:12,887 That's game, Pops! 10-0, me. 360 00:13:12,989 --> 00:13:14,588 How's that goose egg taste? 361 00:13:16,559 --> 00:13:18,025 I'd be sad because I'd be dead. 362 00:13:18,127 --> 00:13:19,693 [Chuckles] That's not happening. 363 00:13:19,796 --> 00:13:22,730 I have nothing left to teach Evan. 364 00:13:22,832 --> 00:13:24,965 He doesn't need me anymore. 365 00:13:25,067 --> 00:13:27,334 [Sighs] 366 00:13:38,681 --> 00:13:39,580 Uh... 367 00:13:39,682 --> 00:13:41,015 why are the lights on? 368 00:13:43,987 --> 00:13:45,020 Hi. I'm Louis Huang. 369 00:13:45,122 --> 00:13:46,054 What are you doing? 370 00:13:46,156 --> 00:13:47,789 I just wanted to introduce myself, 371 00:13:47,858 --> 00:13:50,258 since I have no idea who you are right now. 372 00:13:50,327 --> 00:13:53,562 Is this some weird bedroom game? Because I am not in the mood. 373 00:13:53,630 --> 00:13:55,197 And if I was... 374 00:13:55,265 --> 00:13:57,666 you would be dressed quite differently. 375 00:13:57,734 --> 00:14:00,936 The Jessica I know fights for what she wants. 376 00:14:01,004 --> 00:14:03,905 Show Evan he still needs you, that he has a lot left to learn. 377 00:14:06,844 --> 00:14:09,578 Remind him he still needs you. 378 00:14:09,646 --> 00:14:11,913 - Stop it. - Fine. 379 00:14:11,982 --> 00:14:13,448 Well, what do you want me to do? 380 00:14:13,550 --> 00:14:15,016 Well, what do you want you to do? 381 00:14:15,118 --> 00:14:15,884 [Sighs] 382 00:14:15,953 --> 00:14:17,586 I...want... to... 383 00:14:17,654 --> 00:14:19,254 challenge him to another argument 384 00:14:19,356 --> 00:14:20,589 and destroy him. 385 00:14:20,657 --> 00:14:22,891 Oh, th-that's not exactly what I was thinking. 386 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:24,559 Ah, who cares if he's my baby? 387 00:14:24,628 --> 00:14:27,529 I need to be ruthless, like you! 388 00:14:27,564 --> 00:14:28,964 Like, what is it you always say to Eddie 389 00:14:29,066 --> 00:14:30,632 when you're playing basketball? 390 00:14:30,701 --> 00:14:32,701 "No sauce in our home!" 391 00:14:32,803 --> 00:14:33,802 [Claps] 392 00:14:36,406 --> 00:14:37,539 Grandma! 393 00:14:37,679 --> 00:14:38,829 _ 394 00:14:38,942 --> 00:14:40,742 Come here for a sec! 395 00:14:41,925 --> 00:14:45,703 _ 396 00:14:46,505 --> 00:14:48,067 What do you think about this? 397 00:14:49,660 --> 00:14:50,673 Garfield? 398 00:14:50,916 --> 00:14:52,140 _ 399 00:14:52,189 --> 00:14:53,388 It's not Garfield. 400 00:14:53,490 --> 00:14:54,756 It's Spaghetti Dog. 401 00:14:54,825 --> 00:14:56,825 Instead of a cat that likes lasagna, 402 00:14:56,860 --> 00:14:58,760 it's a dog that likes spaghetti! 403 00:14:59,116 --> 00:15:00,151 _ 404 00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:02,114 _ 405 00:15:06,870 --> 00:15:08,503 This is way harder than I thought. 406 00:15:08,679 --> 00:15:11,367 _ 407 00:15:11,905 --> 00:15:16,137 _ 408 00:15:24,755 --> 00:15:26,087 [Sighs] 409 00:15:31,995 --> 00:15:33,128 Hello, Evan. 410 00:15:33,230 --> 00:15:34,362 As you can see, 411 00:15:34,431 --> 00:15:36,298 there are two root vegetables in front of me. 412 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:37,265 Which one is better? 413 00:15:37,367 --> 00:15:39,200 Let's argue. You go first. 414 00:15:39,236 --> 00:15:41,102 The debate teacher won't let me on the team. 415 00:15:43,373 --> 00:15:46,308 History is littered with great debates... 416 00:15:46,376 --> 00:15:47,809 Lincoln versus Douglas, 417 00:15:47,878 --> 00:15:49,711 Nixon versus JFK... 418 00:15:49,813 --> 00:15:51,413 How 'bout mother versus fool? 419 00:15:51,481 --> 00:15:52,747 [Chuckles] I'm sorry? 420 00:15:52,816 --> 00:15:54,983 Why won't you let my son on your debate team? 421 00:15:55,052 --> 00:15:56,484 I've seen him beat the best. 422 00:15:56,553 --> 00:15:57,786 You can't tell me he's not good enough. 423 00:15:57,854 --> 00:15:59,587 Actually, Evan is good enough. 424 00:15:59,690 --> 00:16:00,989 Uh, he's just too young. 425 00:16:01,091 --> 00:16:02,457 Debate team's only for 5th graders. 426 00:16:02,559 --> 00:16:04,693 - Why? - Those are just the rules. 427 00:16:04,761 --> 00:16:07,028 You're the debate teacher. Defend your rule. 428 00:16:07,097 --> 00:16:09,297 [Chuckling] Well, it's not my rule. 429 00:16:09,399 --> 00:16:11,633 It's the school's rule. 430 00:16:11,735 --> 00:16:14,336 Oh, so you don't care about these kids at all? 431 00:16:14,438 --> 00:16:16,738 You just do what your boss tells you to? 432 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:20,442 Is that why you got into debate, to lie down? 433 00:16:20,544 --> 00:16:22,110 You should work in a mattress store. 434 00:16:22,212 --> 00:16:23,144 [Laughter] 435 00:16:23,213 --> 00:16:24,612 [Laughs] Okay, okay. 436 00:16:24,681 --> 00:16:28,450 She is... She is using humor to expose a flaw in my argument. 437 00:16:28,518 --> 00:16:31,319 Textbook marginalization. Write that down. 438 00:16:31,388 --> 00:16:35,190 I would encourage you to think for yourself, 439 00:16:35,225 --> 00:16:38,159 the way you encourage your class to think for themselves. 440 00:16:38,261 --> 00:16:39,894 Being young isn't a negative. 441 00:16:39,963 --> 00:16:41,396 It's a positive. 442 00:16:41,465 --> 00:16:43,932 Okay, class, this is her thesis statement. 443 00:16:44,001 --> 00:16:45,467 Let's see how she supports it. 444 00:16:45,569 --> 00:16:47,736 [Regal music plays] Think of other brilliant young prodigies 445 00:16:47,838 --> 00:16:48,803 througut history... 446 00:16:48,872 --> 00:16:51,639 Mozart, Joan of Arc, Doogie Howser. 447 00:16:51,742 --> 00:16:54,943 What if someone had told them that they were too young 448 00:16:55,012 --> 00:16:57,712 to practice their extraordinary gift? 449 00:16:59,349 --> 00:17:00,882 Little girl... 450 00:17:00,951 --> 00:17:02,817 what if someone had prevented you 451 00:17:02,919 --> 00:17:05,186 from following your dream? 452 00:17:05,288 --> 00:17:07,422 Am I supposed to answer? 453 00:17:07,491 --> 00:17:10,191 I think you just did. 454 00:17:10,260 --> 00:17:13,628 The passion of children inspires us all to be better. 455 00:17:13,663 --> 00:17:16,131 It's what breathes life into society. 456 00:17:16,199 --> 00:17:17,866 Instead of standing in the way of that, 457 00:17:17,968 --> 00:17:19,601 we should embrace it, 458 00:17:19,669 --> 00:17:21,436 nurture it, 459 00:17:21,505 --> 00:17:22,670 follow it. 460 00:17:22,739 --> 00:17:27,075 As Ms. Whitney Houston said, and I quote, 461 00:17:27,144 --> 00:17:30,779 "I believe the children are our future. 462 00:17:30,881 --> 00:17:32,347 Teach them well 463 00:17:32,416 --> 00:17:34,716 and let them lead the way." 464 00:17:37,888 --> 00:17:40,188 [Mr. O'Connor laughs] 465 00:17:40,257 --> 00:17:42,624 You're amazing, Evan's mom! 466 00:17:52,169 --> 00:17:53,902 What's this? 467 00:17:53,937 --> 00:17:56,504 An apology, from Lazy Boy to Nice Man. 468 00:17:56,606 --> 00:17:58,673 I'm sorry I didn't do any work. 469 00:17:58,775 --> 00:18:00,208 Give me another chance. 470 00:18:00,310 --> 00:18:01,943 Let me make it up to you. 471 00:18:02,012 --> 00:18:04,045 "Brother, Brother" for real this time. 472 00:18:04,114 --> 00:18:06,214 Well, Nice Man's motto is, 473 00:18:06,316 --> 00:18:08,450 "Everyone deserves a second chance." 474 00:18:08,518 --> 00:18:11,086 That's why villains always take advantage of him. 475 00:18:12,489 --> 00:18:13,688 All right. 476 00:18:13,790 --> 00:18:15,190 There's still a day before the deadline. 477 00:18:15,292 --> 00:18:16,891 I think we can still come up with a superhero 478 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:18,526 that no one's ever seen before. 479 00:18:18,628 --> 00:18:20,028 Let's do this. 480 00:18:23,033 --> 00:18:24,232 [Door opens] 481 00:18:24,301 --> 00:18:25,733 I'm on the debate team! 482 00:18:25,836 --> 00:18:27,168 Mommy did it! [Door closes] 483 00:18:27,270 --> 00:18:28,436 You should have seen it. 484 00:18:28,505 --> 00:18:30,438 The teacher was like, "He's too young." 485 00:18:30,540 --> 00:18:31,940 But Mommy was like, 486 00:18:32,042 --> 00:18:33,842 "Young talent is good for society." 487 00:18:33,910 --> 00:18:38,113 And the teacher was all, "Ah! You convinced me!" 488 00:18:38,181 --> 00:18:39,514 Guess he does still need you. 489 00:18:39,583 --> 00:18:42,617 Mommy was using debate tricks there's not even names for. 490 00:18:42,719 --> 00:18:44,486 Then the class asked if she could be our teacher, 491 00:18:44,588 --> 00:18:46,354 and she said, "I hate teachers." 492 00:18:46,456 --> 00:18:47,355 Everyone loved her. 493 00:18:47,457 --> 00:18:49,457 She was like a superhero. 494 00:18:54,331 --> 00:18:55,697 Oh, my God, Eddie. 495 00:18:55,799 --> 00:18:58,233 The perfect superheroes are right in front of us. 496 00:19:01,037 --> 00:19:02,270 Oh, damn. 497 00:19:03,507 --> 00:19:06,307 Here is your debate team exemption form, 498 00:19:06,409 --> 00:19:07,976 signed by your teacher. 499 00:19:08,044 --> 00:19:09,544 I'll put it in your binder. 500 00:19:09,646 --> 00:19:11,479 No. 501 00:19:11,581 --> 00:19:13,081 It belongs in yours. 502 00:19:21,291 --> 00:19:23,391 Here you go. 503 00:19:29,643 --> 00:19:31,313 Waste of time. 504 00:19:31,376 --> 00:19:32,844 This is junk. 505 00:19:34,714 --> 00:19:36,214 Let's see this now. 506 00:19:41,655 --> 00:19:42,954 Oh! 507 00:19:43,023 --> 00:19:46,758 By the golden hammer of Thor! 508 00:19:46,860 --> 00:19:48,593 Look at this! 509 00:19:48,695 --> 00:19:49,560 Wow. 510 00:19:49,663 --> 00:19:50,525 [Scissors snipping] 511 00:19:50,620 --> 00:19:52,636 _ 512 00:19:52,689 --> 00:19:54,378 _ 513 00:19:54,430 --> 00:19:56,462 _ 514 00:19:58,203 --> 00:19:58,963 _ 515 00:19:59,016 --> 00:20:00,515 _ 516 00:20:02,721 --> 00:20:03,649 _ 517 00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:04,990 _ 518 00:20:05,085 --> 00:20:07,784 _ 519 00:20:07,814 --> 00:20:09,047 [Sipping through straw] 520 00:20:09,399 --> 00:20:10,898 _ 521 00:20:12,671 --> 00:20:14,381 _ 522 00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:17,048 _ 523 00:20:19,750 --> 00:20:20,911 _ 524 00:20:21,396 --> 00:20:23,032 _ 525 00:20:23,096 --> 00:20:24,615 _ 526 00:20:26,230 --> 00:20:27,547 _ 527 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:29,183 _ 528 00:20:30,713 --> 00:20:32,296 _ 529 00:20:32,739 --> 00:20:34,154 [Tires screech] 530 00:20:34,228 --> 00:20:35,367 _ 531 00:20:35,410 --> 00:20:36,697 _ 532 00:20:37,875 --> 00:20:38,941 _ 533 00:20:39,078 --> 00:20:40,746 _ 534 00:20:43,099 --> 00:20:44,556 _ 535 00:20:44,884 --> 00:20:45,906 [Bell tolling] 536 00:20:46,033 --> 00:20:47,637 _ 537 00:20:48,542 --> 00:20:49,513 _ 538 00:20:52,658 --> 00:20:55,096 _ 539 00:20:55,138 --> 00:20:55,951 _ 540 00:20:56,029 --> 00:20:57,195 Oh, boy! 541 00:20:57,297 --> 00:20:59,831 This is what I've been looking for!