1
00:00:42,252 --> 00:00:44,587
Mom, can I have some ice cream?
2
00:00:44,671 --> 00:00:46,798
Hey, Bob, wait up.
3
00:00:59,269 --> 00:01:02,147
And the sunlight clasped the earth
4
00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:06,234
And the moonbeams kissed the sea
5
00:01:06,317 --> 00:01:10,280
What are all these kissings worth
6
00:01:10,363 --> 00:01:14,033
If thou kiss not me?
7
00:01:16,995 --> 00:01:18,246
That's it.
8
00:01:21,499 --> 00:01:23,376
- Mike.
- Mr. Brackett.
9
00:01:23,460 --> 00:01:26,588
Okay, that Cameron Drake guy,
did you really teach him?
10
00:01:26,671 --> 00:01:30,258
Yes, I did, Mike.
Right here in this very room.
11
00:01:30,717 --> 00:01:32,635
Do you have a question
about the poem?
12
00:01:33,303 --> 00:01:34,763
Yes. Meredith.
13
00:01:34,846 --> 00:01:37,390
When Cameron went here
did he have a girlfriend?
14
00:01:37,474 --> 00:01:38,975
- Please.
- Jack.
15
00:01:39,058 --> 00:01:40,560
- Mr. Brackett.
- Vicky.
16
00:01:41,352 --> 00:01:43,146
- Does this have to do with the poem?
- Oh, yeah.
17
00:01:43,229 --> 00:01:47,275
You have a comment about
English literature or Romantic poetry?
18
00:01:47,859 --> 00:01:49,360
- Absolutely.
- Oh, let's hear it.
19
00:01:49,736 --> 00:01:50,820
Well, when Cameron went here
20
00:01:50,904 --> 00:01:55,325
and he studied English literature
and Romantic poetry,
21
00:01:55,408 --> 00:01:57,202
was he really cute?
22
00:01:57,285 --> 00:02:00,330
No. No, he's had massive surgery.
A complete overhaul.
23
00:02:00,413 --> 00:02:01,873
He was an iguana.
24
00:02:03,833 --> 00:02:07,295
But, you know, he loved this poem.
25
00:02:09,964 --> 00:02:12,467
Excuse me. Mr. Brackett.
26
00:02:12,550 --> 00:02:14,177
Mr. Brackett.
27
00:02:14,260 --> 00:02:16,554
- Jack.
- It's here.
28
00:02:16,638 --> 00:02:18,515
- What?
- From Indiana State.
29
00:02:18,598 --> 00:02:20,058
- Hey, Mr. Brackett.
- And? Hey, Joe.
30
00:02:20,141 --> 00:02:21,976
Mr. Brackett, will you open it?
It'll make it a lot easier.
31
00:02:22,060 --> 00:02:25,438
I mean, what if I--
I mean, I'm not gonna get in.
32
00:02:25,522 --> 00:02:28,233
I bet that it just says,
"Nice try, you moron.
33
00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:31,569
- You loser. Get lost. Get out of here."
- That's not quite the way they put it.
34
00:02:31,653 --> 00:02:33,988
- Hey, coach.
- Hey.
35
00:02:34,072 --> 00:02:36,366
- Yes. You're in. Full scholarship.
- Yes? Yes?
36
00:02:36,449 --> 00:02:37,992
- Way to go.
- Yes.
37
00:02:39,244 --> 00:02:40,286
Yes.
38
00:02:40,620 --> 00:02:43,289
- What he said was--
- You didn't understand what he said.
39
00:02:43,373 --> 00:02:44,707
Wait, wait. He's coming.
40
00:02:47,794 --> 00:02:50,505
Gentlemen, are we having a practice?
41
00:02:51,130 --> 00:02:54,008
We can't, you know. It's our coach.
42
00:02:54,092 --> 00:02:56,344
You know,
he's getting married this week.
43
00:02:57,387 --> 00:02:59,264
Yes, that's correct.
44
00:02:59,722 --> 00:03:01,474
And he's drunk.
45
00:03:02,976 --> 00:03:04,561
I'm drunk?
46
00:03:04,644 --> 00:03:06,646
Pretty soon!
47
00:03:13,152 --> 00:03:15,280
You guys.
48
00:03:17,657 --> 00:03:19,993
Congratulations, Mr. Brackett.
49
00:03:28,585 --> 00:03:30,795
You're so beautiful.
50
00:03:31,212 --> 00:03:32,463
Howard?
51
00:03:32,922 --> 00:03:34,299
You look exquisite.
52
00:03:34,382 --> 00:03:36,467
Oh, I just wish my folks were still here.
53
00:03:36,551 --> 00:03:40,054
They never thought it would happen.
They never thought I'd get married.
54
00:03:40,138 --> 00:03:44,392
We're your family now, dear.
I'm not just Howard's mom. I'm yours.
55
00:03:44,475 --> 00:03:45,518
Beware.
56
00:03:45,602 --> 00:03:48,229
But, honey, when you
walked in here last month, I almost died.
57
00:03:48,313 --> 00:03:51,149
- I didn't recognize you.
- She's worked very hard.
58
00:03:51,232 --> 00:03:52,609
- Isn't she a knockout?
- Absolutely.
59
00:03:52,692 --> 00:03:54,068
I just had been fat my whole life,
60
00:03:54,152 --> 00:03:56,613
and I was not gonna
waddle down that aisle.
61
00:03:56,696 --> 00:03:59,157
And when I saw
that Richard Simmons' infomercial...
62
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:00,366
I love him.
63
00:04:00,450 --> 00:04:03,244
Well, remember when he actually
went to that woman's house
64
00:04:03,328 --> 00:04:06,080
who lost over 400 pounds
using the tapes?
65
00:04:06,164 --> 00:04:08,082
- Yes.
- I just thought;
66
00:04:08,166 --> 00:04:10,585
"If she can do it, so can I."
67
00:04:10,668 --> 00:04:13,963
And you did. Bridal Barn, we salute you.
68
00:04:17,008 --> 00:04:18,843
- It's a straitjacket, is what it is.
- Dad.
69
00:04:18,927 --> 00:04:21,012
It's a classic, the J-12.
70
00:04:21,095 --> 00:04:22,931
You know, everybody in town's
been stopping by
71
00:04:23,014 --> 00:04:24,265
revving up for your nuptials.
72
00:04:24,349 --> 00:04:25,600
Look at this.
73
00:04:28,311 --> 00:04:30,647
Oh, son. I don't know.
74
00:04:31,856 --> 00:04:33,483
The Tormé.
75
00:04:44,869 --> 00:04:47,830
Thank you. Well...
76
00:04:47,914 --> 00:04:50,833
In just a few short days,
Emily and I will be married.
77
00:04:50,917 --> 00:04:52,418
After three long years.
78
00:04:52,502 --> 00:04:54,504
What, you may be asking yourself,
was the problem?
79
00:04:54,587 --> 00:04:55,838
You said it.
80
00:04:58,424 --> 00:05:01,177
Well, Aunt Becky,
I think I have the answer.
81
00:05:01,260 --> 00:05:03,054
I vowed that I would not be married
82
00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:06,140
until Cameron Drake
was nominated for an Oscar.
83
00:05:06,224 --> 00:05:07,350
I thought I was safe.
84
00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:12,814
Now, tonight's the night,
for Cameron, at least,
85
00:05:12,897 --> 00:05:16,442
and so I'll let you all
get back to your sets.
86
00:05:16,526 --> 00:05:21,239
And this Sunday, thanks to my mom
and dad and Emily,
87
00:05:21,322 --> 00:05:23,366
it's gonna be the happiest day of my life.
88
00:05:32,917 --> 00:05:35,128
Wouldn't it be extraordinary
if Cameron actually wins?
89
00:05:35,211 --> 00:05:37,797
- You remember, I had him.
- You did?
90
00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,174
Yeah. I was a student teacher,
it was sophomore English.
91
00:05:40,258 --> 00:05:43,344
He used to come every day
after school for extra help.
92
00:05:43,428 --> 00:05:47,473
We spent the whole year reciting
Romeo and Juliet to each other.
93
00:05:47,557 --> 00:05:50,226
Oh, really? Just the two of you?
94
00:05:50,309 --> 00:05:53,146
He was just a student.
95
00:05:53,229 --> 00:05:55,189
Well, all right.
96
00:05:57,233 --> 00:05:58,359
Now, which channel?
97
00:05:59,402 --> 00:06:02,488
Who wants movie-style buttery lite?
98
00:06:02,572 --> 00:06:04,240
Me. I do.
99
00:06:04,323 --> 00:06:07,243
- Score pads and pencils.
- Over here.
100
00:06:07,326 --> 00:06:08,369
Oh, thanks.
101
00:06:09,954 --> 00:06:12,540
Gretchen, what do you have
for Best Documentary?
102
00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:16,294
Something about Polish mine workers
and their struggle to be free.
103
00:06:16,377 --> 00:06:19,380
I hope that nice Sally Field wins.
104
00:06:19,464 --> 00:06:23,134
- But she's not nominated.
- Even so.
105
00:06:23,217 --> 00:06:24,594
It's almost time.
106
00:06:25,178 --> 00:06:27,764
- Well, turn it on. Turn it on.
- Turn it on.
107
00:06:34,896 --> 00:06:37,190
The place, Hollywood, U.S.A.
108
00:06:40,485 --> 00:06:42,695
This is Peter Malloy
for Inside Entertainment
109
00:06:42,779 --> 00:06:45,573
inviting you to join me
for Hollywood's night of nights,
110
00:06:45,656 --> 00:06:48,242
the 68th Annual Academy Awards.
111
00:06:50,328 --> 00:06:53,456
Ladies and gentlemen,
here is another screen legend,
112
00:06:53,539 --> 00:06:55,750
an Oscar winner herself,
Miss Whoopi Goldberg.
113
00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:57,668
- Whoopi.
- Whoopi, I love you.
114
00:06:57,752 --> 00:06:58,920
Whoopi.
115
00:06:59,003 --> 00:07:02,298
So, Whoop,
Cameron Drake, his chances?
116
00:07:02,381 --> 00:07:03,841
I think this kid is incredible.
117
00:07:03,925 --> 00:07:06,469
- He is so sexy, so sweet.
- It's Cameron.
118
00:07:06,552 --> 00:07:07,804
I mean, I just adore him.
119
00:07:07,887 --> 00:07:10,515
I mean, he's just the best there is,
you know.
120
00:07:10,598 --> 00:07:12,016
It's Cameron Drake.
121
00:07:12,100 --> 00:07:13,184
There he is.
122
00:07:13,726 --> 00:07:15,144
Look.
123
00:07:16,604 --> 00:07:19,315
Cameron, Cameron, Cameron,
124
00:07:22,485 --> 00:07:25,655
Cameron, Cameron, Cameron
125
00:07:29,867 --> 00:07:32,453
He is just so cool.
126
00:07:32,537 --> 00:07:35,665
- What is that stuff on his chin?
- It looks like a troll doll.
127
00:07:35,748 --> 00:07:38,459
- Did he just wake up?
- Shut up.
128
00:07:39,669 --> 00:07:43,005
Ladies and gentlemen, here comes
America's hottest young star
129
00:07:43,089 --> 00:07:46,300
and People magazine's
sexiest man of the year, poor guy,
130
00:07:46,384 --> 00:07:47,802
Cameron Drake.
131
00:07:49,846 --> 00:07:50,930
- Hello.
- Hey.
132
00:07:51,013 --> 00:07:52,223
Hey.
133
00:07:56,018 --> 00:07:58,354
- So, Cameron, tonight's the big night.
- Cameron!
134
00:07:58,437 --> 00:08:01,941
- All the marbles. Planet Cameron.
- Right.
135
00:08:02,024 --> 00:08:04,402
- Excuse me?
- I said right.
136
00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:05,570
- Yeah.
- Right.
137
00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:07,822
Everyone's saying
you won't be going home empty-handed.
138
00:08:07,905 --> 00:08:10,616
How do you feel about that?
And speak up.
139
00:08:11,284 --> 00:08:15,997
Well, basically to me,
awards are meaningless.
140
00:08:17,206 --> 00:08:21,169
I'm an artist. It's about the work.
All the nominees are artists.
141
00:08:21,252 --> 00:08:25,006
We shouldn't be forced
to compete with each other like dogs.
142
00:08:25,089 --> 00:08:26,799
I hear you. Good point.
143
00:08:26,883 --> 00:08:28,926
So then why are you here?
144
00:08:29,010 --> 00:08:30,469
In case I win.
145
00:08:38,019 --> 00:08:40,271
Cameron!
146
00:08:41,105 --> 00:08:44,567
And now we return
to the 68th Annual Academy A wards.
147
00:08:44,650 --> 00:08:48,070
Coming up, the Oscar for
best performance by an actor.
148
00:08:48,154 --> 00:08:51,532
Ladies and gentlemen,
Miss Glenn Close.
149
00:09:09,175 --> 00:09:12,220
And now our final nominee
for Best Actor.
150
00:09:12,303 --> 00:09:13,554
Cameron Drake.
151
00:09:20,895 --> 00:09:24,690
Cameron rocketed to stardom
with courage and charisma
152
00:09:24,774 --> 00:09:27,860
tackling the role of a brave gay soldier
153
00:09:27,944 --> 00:09:31,280
in the breakthrough film
To Serve and Protect.
154
00:09:46,254 --> 00:09:47,964
You're gonna make it, Danny.
155
00:09:49,257 --> 00:09:50,800
I love you, Billy.
156
00:09:51,801 --> 00:09:56,097
Wait. Do you love me as a friend
or in another way?
157
00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:58,266
Another way, Billy.
158
00:09:58,349 --> 00:10:00,393
You mean as a brother?
159
00:10:00,476 --> 00:10:03,145
No, another way.
160
00:10:03,229 --> 00:10:06,649
- You mean as a cousin?
- No, another way.
161
00:10:08,276 --> 00:10:10,444
You mean as a pen pal?
162
00:10:10,528 --> 00:10:12,530
My legs hurt.
163
00:10:24,083 --> 00:10:25,626
Proceed.
164
00:10:29,588 --> 00:10:30,673
Lieutenant Stevens,
165
00:10:30,756 --> 00:10:35,386
you've been awarded two Purple Hearts
and a Congressional Medal of Honor.
166
00:10:35,469 --> 00:10:37,596
You saved the lives of your entire unit.
167
00:10:38,514 --> 00:10:41,392
However, your sergeant
has come across
168
00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:43,686
the following items in your footlocker.
169
00:10:43,769 --> 00:10:46,564
Will you kindly tell the court
if they are yours?
170
00:10:46,981 --> 00:10:49,233
A personal letter to another soldier.
171
00:10:49,317 --> 00:10:50,818
Oh, no.
172
00:10:50,901 --> 00:10:52,320
Yes, sir.
173
00:10:52,403 --> 00:10:56,907
A photograph signed,
"Danny, San Francisco."
174
00:10:56,991 --> 00:10:58,034
Yes, sir.
175
00:11:02,872 --> 00:11:08,836
And finally, an autographed copy
of Beaches starring Bette Midler.
176
00:11:09,128 --> 00:11:10,171
Give that back.
177
00:11:10,421 --> 00:11:12,506
Discharge. Dishonorable.
178
00:11:22,224 --> 00:11:24,435
They're kicking him out.
179
00:11:24,518 --> 00:11:25,936
That's not fair.
180
00:11:27,104 --> 00:11:28,981
I mean, he killed people.
181
00:11:36,947 --> 00:11:39,492
Danny, I just don't know.
182
00:11:39,575 --> 00:11:40,743
Did I do the right thing?
183
00:11:43,329 --> 00:11:44,747
Ask him.
184
00:11:46,624 --> 00:11:51,504
Well, Mr. President,
am I still a good American?
185
00:11:56,592 --> 00:11:58,135
It's a statue, Billy.
186
00:12:01,847 --> 00:12:05,351
Oh, Danny. I love you.
187
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:09,188
Come on, let's go home.
188
00:12:14,068 --> 00:12:15,486
Billy?
189
00:12:20,157 --> 00:12:21,867
Billy.
190
00:12:25,329 --> 00:12:26,789
Billy.
191
00:12:28,499 --> 00:12:30,501
Billy!
192
00:12:36,924 --> 00:12:39,051
Oh, look, here he is.
193
00:12:43,764 --> 00:12:48,018
This is Cameron's first nomination,
and he's in extremely good company.
194
00:12:48,477 --> 00:12:51,647
Tonight, he joins fellow
Best Actor nominees;
195
00:12:51,730 --> 00:12:54,024
Paul Newman for Coot.
196
00:12:57,153 --> 00:12:59,238
Clint Eastwood for Codger.
197
00:13:01,115 --> 00:13:04,285
Michael Douglas for Primary Urges.
198
00:13:09,457 --> 00:13:13,127
And Steven Seagal for Snowball in Hell.
199
00:13:16,213 --> 00:13:17,465
And the winner is;
200
00:13:20,509 --> 00:13:23,429
Cameron Drake, To Serve and Protect.
201
00:13:23,512 --> 00:13:26,056
Oh, my God.
202
00:13:26,140 --> 00:13:28,017
- Oh, my God.
- Yes.
203
00:13:29,143 --> 00:13:31,896
That's it! Yes!
204
00:13:35,191 --> 00:13:38,068
Doofus, doofus, doofus.
205
00:13:38,152 --> 00:13:42,656
Doofus, doofus, doofus.
206
00:13:42,740 --> 00:13:46,076
- That's our boy. He did it. Look at that.
- Look at him. Oh, my God.
207
00:13:49,079 --> 00:13:51,540
Thank you. Thank you.
208
00:13:53,709 --> 00:13:55,336
Nice, man.
209
00:13:56,795 --> 00:13:58,297
Nice.
210
00:13:58,380 --> 00:14:04,011
I'd like to thank a great director,
an incredible cast,
211
00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:06,388
my agent and my new agent.
212
00:14:06,472 --> 00:14:10,351
But I'm just an actor playing someone.
213
00:14:10,434 --> 00:14:13,771
This really belongs
to all the gay soldiers and sailors
214
00:14:13,854 --> 00:14:15,898
and other guys and women
215
00:14:15,981 --> 00:14:20,069
who defend this country to keep us free
but can't date.
216
00:14:25,491 --> 00:14:29,078
So maybe I should thank someone else.
217
00:14:29,161 --> 00:14:30,371
Someone who's really been there.
218
00:14:30,454 --> 00:14:34,583
Someone who taught me a lot
about poetry and Shakespeare,
219
00:14:34,667 --> 00:14:39,296
and just, like, you know,
staying awake, man.
220
00:14:39,380 --> 00:14:43,342
Someone who's just
an overall great guy and a great teacher.
221
00:14:44,176 --> 00:14:46,554
To Howard Brackett
from Greenleaf, Indiana.
222
00:14:46,637 --> 00:14:48,806
- Look at that.
- Oh, my God.
223
00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:51,308
Oh, I can't believe it.
224
00:14:53,602 --> 00:14:54,979
And he's gay.
225
00:15:01,694 --> 00:15:03,696
You know, I've been thinking a lot
about this night,
226
00:15:04,697 --> 00:15:08,951
and I've decided to dedicate
this whole night to a great gay teacher.
227
00:15:10,202 --> 00:15:12,997
Mr. Brackett, we won.
228
00:15:40,399 --> 00:15:41,775
Howard?
229
00:15:44,403 --> 00:15:45,946
- Howard.
- Precious.
230
00:15:46,030 --> 00:15:49,033
- Howard, what is he talking about?
- I have no idea.
231
00:15:51,702 --> 00:15:52,911
What?
232
00:15:57,958 --> 00:16:00,586
Mom. Dad.
233
00:16:01,754 --> 00:16:03,881
Is there something you wanna tell us?
234
00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:05,591
Something about the wedding?
235
00:16:06,508 --> 00:16:07,551
I'm not gay.
236
00:16:09,637 --> 00:16:12,181
- Of course not.
- No, no, no.
237
00:16:12,264 --> 00:16:13,390
My son's not gay.
238
00:16:13,474 --> 00:16:15,184
- No way.
- No how.
239
00:16:15,267 --> 00:16:16,852
- No dice.
- Nowhere.
240
00:16:16,935 --> 00:16:19,480
- No, sir.
- But that boy on television...
241
00:16:19,563 --> 00:16:22,441
I don't know what that was about.
I am outraged.
242
00:16:22,524 --> 00:16:25,110
- I may hire an attorney. I may sue.
- That's right. That's right.
243
00:16:25,194 --> 00:16:26,654
- That's a very good idea.
- You think?
244
00:16:26,737 --> 00:16:29,114
Get that Johnnie Cochran,
not that woman.
245
00:16:29,198 --> 00:16:32,576
Good idea. Now, we have to remember,
he's been in Hollywood a long time,
246
00:16:32,660 --> 00:16:35,120
and he may be under
the influence of something.
247
00:16:35,204 --> 00:16:38,165
- Or he may have joined a cult.
- Oh, my Lord.
248
00:16:38,248 --> 00:16:39,333
That little zombie.
249
00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:42,378
His family was... Oh, I hate to say this.
250
00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:46,131
But when they lived here,
they were not active in the PTA.
251
00:16:46,215 --> 00:16:48,217
He used to mow our lawn.
252
00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:49,385
Never again.
253
00:16:50,552 --> 00:16:53,097
Howard, we want you to know
254
00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:56,141
you're our son
and we'll always love you.
255
00:16:56,225 --> 00:16:58,060
Gay, straight, red, green.
256
00:16:58,143 --> 00:17:00,562
If you rob a bank, if you kill someone.
257
00:17:00,646 --> 00:17:04,024
If you get drunk, climb a clock tower
and take out the town.
258
00:17:04,775 --> 00:17:07,111
As long as you get married.
259
00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:08,570
I need that wedding.
260
00:17:08,654 --> 00:17:12,366
I need some beauty, and some music,
and some place cards before I die.
261
00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:13,701
It's like heroin.
262
00:17:14,535 --> 00:17:16,203
Do you hear me, Howard?
263
00:17:22,835 --> 00:17:24,503
Emily, can we give you a lift?
264
00:17:27,423 --> 00:17:29,133
Will you be all right?
265
00:17:29,216 --> 00:17:32,136
Of course. I'm fine.
266
00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:33,929
We're getting married.
267
00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:35,389
I love you.
268
00:17:39,852 --> 00:17:41,145
Good night.
269
00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:48,777
Hello.
270
00:17:48,861 --> 00:17:50,487
No, I'm not.
271
00:18:36,533 --> 00:18:38,160
Oh, we're so late.
272
00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:52,591
All right, let's go.
273
00:19:06,522 --> 00:19:08,857
There he is. That's him. Guys.
274
00:19:08,941 --> 00:19:10,859
- Hey.
- Howard. Howard.
275
00:19:10,943 --> 00:19:12,611
- Howard.
- Howard.
276
00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:16,365
- Care to comment?
- Mr. Brackett.
277
00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:18,534
Are you a spokesperson?
278
00:19:18,617 --> 00:19:19,993
Do you have a boyfriend?
279
00:19:20,077 --> 00:19:23,705
- I am getting married. I am not gay.
- Do you know Ellen?
280
00:19:26,959 --> 00:19:29,503
A teacher in trouble,
a town under siege,
281
00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:31,380
a journey to the heartland.
282
00:19:31,463 --> 00:19:33,507
Peter Malloy. Stay tuned.
283
00:19:34,258 --> 00:19:35,300
- Howard.
- Howard.
284
00:19:35,384 --> 00:19:37,511
Should gays be allowed
to handle fresh produce?
285
00:19:37,594 --> 00:19:40,222
I don't care. This is a classroom.
286
00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:44,601
Class.
287
00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:46,979
So where were we?
288
00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:51,024
Romantic poetry. Shakespeare.
289
00:19:51,108 --> 00:19:53,527
Talented, English, dead.
290
00:19:53,986 --> 00:19:55,028
The sonnets.
291
00:19:55,112 --> 00:19:57,281
Shall I compare thee
To a summer's gay?
292
00:19:57,364 --> 00:19:59,408
Thou art more lovely
And more temperate.
293
00:20:00,951 --> 00:20:03,203
Rough winds do shape
The darling buds of May
294
00:20:03,287 --> 00:20:04,705
And sum...
295
00:20:15,966 --> 00:20:17,259
Okay.
296
00:20:18,427 --> 00:20:20,012
Let's get it out into the open right now.
297
00:20:20,095 --> 00:20:22,055
What's on your mind?
What do you wanna know?
298
00:20:23,140 --> 00:20:25,058
Is it true?
299
00:20:25,976 --> 00:20:29,688
Of course not.
I'm getting married in three days.
300
00:20:30,063 --> 00:20:31,982
See? I knew it.
301
00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:34,526
- Told you.
- All right. Class, class.
302
00:20:34,610 --> 00:20:37,487
But why did he say it on TV
in front of the whole world?
303
00:20:37,571 --> 00:20:40,115
Yeah. I mean, were you, like,
incredibly embarrassed?
304
00:20:40,198 --> 00:20:42,576
Did you just wanna
stick a grenade in your mouth?
305
00:20:43,118 --> 00:20:45,621
We... All right. Okay, that's...
Class, class.
306
00:20:45,704 --> 00:20:48,206
I don't know why he said it.
I've been trying to figure that out,
307
00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:51,126
but that is not why we're here today.
We're here today...
308
00:20:51,209 --> 00:20:53,503
- Mr. Brackett. Mr. Brackett.
- Mike.
309
00:20:54,755 --> 00:20:57,215
Well, I've been thinking about it
all night.
310
00:20:57,299 --> 00:20:59,134
Why would that guy say you were gay?
311
00:20:59,217 --> 00:21:00,636
And I got it figured out. I got it.
312
00:21:02,387 --> 00:21:04,514
- What have you got?
- Look at you.
313
00:21:05,057 --> 00:21:06,725
- I beg your pardon?
- I mean, no offense,
314
00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:09,728
- but you're an English teacher.
- Exactly.
315
00:21:09,811 --> 00:21:13,065
I mean, all this poetry
and odes and bonnets.
316
00:21:13,148 --> 00:21:14,274
"Sonnets?"
317
00:21:14,900 --> 00:21:16,068
And you're kind of prissy.
318
00:21:17,069 --> 00:21:19,571
- "Prissy"?
- Well, not in a bad way.
319
00:21:19,655 --> 00:21:22,616
- I mean, like, you're smart.
- And well-dressed.
320
00:21:22,699 --> 00:21:24,868
- And really clean.
- It doesn't look good.
321
00:21:24,952 --> 00:21:28,413
And plus, you got the drama club,
and you ride that bicycle.
322
00:21:28,872 --> 00:21:32,626
You've been engaged to
Miss Montgomery for like three years.
323
00:21:32,709 --> 00:21:34,378
- What does that have to...?
- Think about it.
324
00:21:34,461 --> 00:21:37,464
If you add it up,
of course the guy thinks you're gay.
325
00:21:39,257 --> 00:21:40,300
And plus,
326
00:21:40,634 --> 00:21:43,512
he was in that movie.
327
00:21:43,595 --> 00:21:47,182
So his brain is, like,
already going that way,
328
00:21:47,265 --> 00:21:49,893
and then he remembers you,
329
00:21:49,977 --> 00:21:55,190
and he goes, "Smart, clean,
totally decent human being... gay."
330
00:21:55,524 --> 00:21:56,817
Yeah.
331
00:21:59,528 --> 00:22:02,280
- Gays in the space program...
- Lesbians on Mars?
332
00:22:02,364 --> 00:22:05,033
- Do you have any comment...
- Excuse me. Excuse me.
333
00:22:07,077 --> 00:22:09,663
Mr. Brackett. Boys and girls.
334
00:22:10,205 --> 00:22:12,833
- Mr. Halliwell.
- Howard, could... Could I...
335
00:22:14,126 --> 00:22:15,752
Class, excuse me.
336
00:22:16,294 --> 00:22:19,506
The school is surrounded.
There are TV cameras, reporters.
337
00:22:19,589 --> 00:22:21,466
See? They want pictures of the gay guy.
338
00:22:25,971 --> 00:22:27,347
I tried to reason with them.
339
00:22:27,431 --> 00:22:29,975
I told them
I was the principal and they...
340
00:22:30,851 --> 00:22:33,437
- They mocked me.
- I'm sorry.
341
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:35,772
Could you...? Could you talk to them?
342
00:22:35,856 --> 00:22:37,232
Right away.
343
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:42,029
- Class, page 58.
- Yes, learn... Learn all... All you can.
344
00:22:42,112 --> 00:22:43,697
- Mr. Brackett.
- Yes?
345
00:22:44,865 --> 00:22:45,907
Watch the hands.
346
00:22:47,868 --> 00:22:49,911
Good... Good point.
347
00:22:50,746 --> 00:22:53,707
Howard, are you gay? Are you gay?
348
00:22:55,333 --> 00:22:58,086
I'm sorry, I think that
the jury is still out on this.
349
00:22:58,170 --> 00:23:00,589
No way.
He's been here for how many years?
350
00:23:00,672 --> 00:23:02,632
Oh, come on. I always knew.
351
00:23:02,716 --> 00:23:05,385
Well, I say bravo.
It's a blow for freedom.
352
00:23:05,469 --> 00:23:08,305
Good for Howard.
To quote Mr. Bob Dylan,
353
00:23:08,388 --> 00:23:10,599
"How many roads
must a man walk down
354
00:23:10,682 --> 00:23:12,225
"before we call him a man?"
355
00:23:12,309 --> 00:23:15,187
- Ed, don't. It's early.
- Knew what?
356
00:23:15,270 --> 00:23:18,565
And how many seas
Must the white dove sail
357
00:23:18,648 --> 00:23:20,984
- Ed, please.
- Before she sleeps...
358
00:23:21,068 --> 00:23:22,360
- Shut up, Ed.
- Trina.
359
00:23:22,444 --> 00:23:23,779
We're talking about Howard.
360
00:23:24,321 --> 00:23:25,697
Why are we talking about Howard?
361
00:23:26,573 --> 00:23:28,366
Because he likes dick, Carl.
362
00:23:32,746 --> 00:23:35,040
Good morning, everyone. How are you?
363
00:23:36,041 --> 00:23:37,834
- Hey.
- Hey. Terrific.
364
00:23:37,918 --> 00:23:41,379
Fabulous.
Is that Xerox still on the fritz?
365
00:23:41,463 --> 00:23:43,381
- How are you, sunshine?
- Oh, fine.
366
00:23:43,465 --> 00:23:44,508
Oh, look at you.
367
00:23:45,675 --> 00:23:46,968
Dick who?
368
00:23:47,928 --> 00:23:50,305
He's getting married this week.
369
00:23:50,388 --> 00:23:52,766
See? He's not gay. I told you.
370
00:23:52,849 --> 00:23:56,478
- But think about it. I mean, gay guys.
- I don't wanna think about it.
371
00:23:56,561 --> 00:24:00,315
There's only two times
where it's okay to do, like, gay stuff.
372
00:24:00,398 --> 00:24:03,360
- Two, like, emergency situations.
- What? Which situations?
373
00:24:03,443 --> 00:24:05,612
- Prison, when it's like a substitute...
- Right.
374
00:24:05,695 --> 00:24:06,905
Or guys in space...
375
00:24:06,988 --> 00:24:08,323
Guys in space?
376
00:24:08,406 --> 00:24:12,285
Well, not on purpose. It just happens
because they're weightless
377
00:24:12,369 --> 00:24:14,955
and they float into each other
when they're asleep.
378
00:24:17,290 --> 00:24:18,959
You're so lame.
379
00:24:19,042 --> 00:24:21,378
Well, I know it's wrong.
380
00:24:21,461 --> 00:24:24,506
It's against, like, nature.
It's basic plumbing.
381
00:24:24,589 --> 00:24:27,551
- What?
- It's the human body.
382
00:24:27,634 --> 00:24:30,679
It's divided up
into in-holes and out-holes.
383
00:24:30,762 --> 00:24:34,224
And stuff is supposed to go in
the in-holes and come out the out-holes.
384
00:24:34,307 --> 00:24:38,854
But gay guys,
they, like, put stuff in the out-holes.
385
00:24:40,355 --> 00:24:43,483
Wait. So is your mouth like an in-hole?
386
00:24:43,567 --> 00:24:47,112
Right. Because you put burgers in it
and brew.
387
00:24:47,195 --> 00:24:50,991
Unless you're sick and you puke,
and then it's an out-hole. So it's wrong.
388
00:24:55,537 --> 00:24:57,247
Guys, guys, come on. Hustle.
389
00:24:57,330 --> 00:24:59,291
You're gonna be late for class. Let's go.
390
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:03,003
What's going on?
391
00:25:04,838 --> 00:25:07,132
Mr. Brackett, could you, like, excuse us?
392
00:25:07,924 --> 00:25:08,967
Why?
393
00:25:10,302 --> 00:25:11,803
Mike's being a jerk.
394
00:25:12,220 --> 00:25:15,265
No. Just until we're, like,
dressed and ready.
395
00:25:15,932 --> 00:25:17,767
This doesn't have anything
to do with the Oscars
396
00:25:17,851 --> 00:25:19,394
and Cameron Drake, does it?
397
00:25:20,103 --> 00:25:22,022
- No. Come on.
- Of course not.
398
00:25:23,773 --> 00:25:24,816
Well, what is it, then?
399
00:25:25,859 --> 00:25:28,236
Well, it's just,
before the Oscars it was different.
400
00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:30,071
I mean, you weren't...
401
00:25:31,656 --> 00:25:32,741
I wasn't what?
402
00:25:35,702 --> 00:25:36,828
Famous.
403
00:25:44,211 --> 00:25:46,046
You guys.
404
00:26:05,649 --> 00:26:07,108
Peter Malloy, network.
405
00:26:07,817 --> 00:26:10,028
No, no, no. No more interviews. No.
406
00:26:10,111 --> 00:26:12,072
I have nothing to say.
I have no comments...
407
00:26:13,156 --> 00:26:16,785
I... I have no thoughts on gay marriage,
I did not see The Birdcage,
408
00:26:16,868 --> 00:26:19,329
- and I'm trying to have my dinner.
- Oh, of course. I'm sorry.
409
00:26:20,455 --> 00:26:22,415
You should be.
What are you sitting down for?
410
00:26:22,749 --> 00:26:24,709
You people, you people...
Have some decency.
411
00:26:24,793 --> 00:26:28,088
You've been hounding me all day.
At my school, at my home.
412
00:26:28,171 --> 00:26:29,881
You should be ashamed of yourselves.
413
00:26:29,965 --> 00:26:32,050
I am, of those leeches.
414
00:26:32,133 --> 00:26:35,053
They have no right to pry into your life.
They're sleazy.
415
00:26:35,136 --> 00:26:37,514
I don't know.
I kind of like that Barbara Walters.
416
00:26:37,889 --> 00:26:39,432
Did Barbara call you?
417
00:26:40,141 --> 00:26:41,309
No.
418
00:26:43,937 --> 00:26:45,897
Howard.
419
00:26:45,981 --> 00:26:47,190
Howard.
420
00:26:47,274 --> 00:26:49,484
- No.
- Oh, Howard.
421
00:26:49,567 --> 00:26:52,070
- Leave me alone, you smut peddler.
- Oh, Howard.
422
00:26:52,153 --> 00:26:55,282
- You professional gossip with a tan.
- Howard, will you get real?
423
00:26:56,908 --> 00:26:58,285
- Look at me.
- Why?
424
00:26:58,785 --> 00:27:01,579
Well, sure, I look great,
but my ratings...
425
00:27:01,663 --> 00:27:05,250
Look, everyone wants to talk
to Diane Sawyer or Joan Lunden,
426
00:27:05,333 --> 00:27:06,835
and my network's killing me.
427
00:27:06,918 --> 00:27:09,296
- They want me blond.
- With your coloring?
428
00:27:09,379 --> 00:27:12,590
Look, all those reporters,
after today, they're gone.
429
00:27:12,674 --> 00:27:14,509
They've got their story.
430
00:27:14,592 --> 00:27:17,345
But I care. I am doing a full week.
431
00:27:18,763 --> 00:27:20,390
A week? No, you can't.
432
00:27:20,473 --> 00:27:22,600
Oh, but I have to. It's too good.
433
00:27:22,684 --> 00:27:25,186
No, no. I have classes to teach.
I'm getting married.
434
00:27:25,270 --> 00:27:28,356
- I'll be there.
- No. I'll... I'll kill you.
435
00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:31,735
But it's classic.
Sex, a small town, and a movie star.
436
00:27:31,818 --> 00:27:33,236
Why can't you see that?
437
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:35,780
"Howard Brackett: In and Out."
438
00:27:36,990 --> 00:27:40,910
My God, you are pure television.
439
00:27:41,536 --> 00:27:42,662
Stop it.
440
00:27:43,538 --> 00:27:44,581
Good night.
441
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:55,050
Guys, remember...
442
00:27:55,133 --> 00:27:56,593
- I got that one.
- Thanks, Dean.
443
00:27:56,676 --> 00:28:00,638
Don't say nothing about the Oscars
or Cameron Drake. None of that.
444
00:28:03,683 --> 00:28:05,185
I think he's coming.
445
00:28:18,156 --> 00:28:19,240
He's here.
446
00:28:19,324 --> 00:28:21,159
Yeah!
447
00:28:22,202 --> 00:28:23,453
There you go.
448
00:28:24,245 --> 00:28:25,997
Yeah, baby.
449
00:28:28,375 --> 00:28:30,710
- Are we gonna have a bachelor party?
- Yeah!
450
00:28:30,794 --> 00:28:32,962
- Are we gonna get down and dirty?
- Yeah!
451
00:28:33,046 --> 00:28:35,173
Disgustingly puking gross?
452
00:28:36,341 --> 00:28:38,259
We've been working on this
for weeks, man,
453
00:28:38,343 --> 00:28:41,471
and we got all your favorite stuff,
everything you love.
454
00:28:41,554 --> 00:28:43,473
- Hit me.
- Oh, yeah.
455
00:28:44,641 --> 00:28:48,978
What are we talking about here?
Triple X, Little Oral Annie, Traci Lords?
456
00:28:49,062 --> 00:28:50,730
Lay some adult video on me.
457
00:28:50,814 --> 00:28:52,440
We got it. Uncut.
458
00:28:52,774 --> 00:28:55,151
- Funny Girl.
- Yeah!
459
00:28:59,823 --> 00:29:01,658
- Funny Girl?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
460
00:29:01,741 --> 00:29:03,868
I don't believe this. Barbra Streisand?
461
00:29:03,952 --> 00:29:05,954
You had that little film festival
last year.
462
00:29:06,037 --> 00:29:08,289
- You made us watch all her movies.
- It was fun.
463
00:29:08,373 --> 00:29:10,125
- It was great. I loved it.
- Guys.
464
00:29:10,208 --> 00:29:12,544
Guys, I'm truly offended. I...
465
00:29:12,627 --> 00:29:14,504
Don't you see
this is precisely the reason
466
00:29:14,587 --> 00:29:16,673
why Cameron Drake
and half the civilized world
467
00:29:16,756 --> 00:29:18,716
think that I'm... You know.
468
00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:21,094
- Oh, no.
- No, no, no.
469
00:29:21,177 --> 00:29:23,471
- You're a guy's guy.
- No, no, no, that's not true.
470
00:29:23,555 --> 00:29:28,351
Well, I don't know how this got started,
but this is my god damn bachelor party
471
00:29:28,435 --> 00:29:31,062
and I am not going to god damn watch...
472
00:29:31,146 --> 00:29:33,773
Pardon my split infinitive... Funny Girl.
473
00:29:33,857 --> 00:29:36,776
- Me neither. I hate that crap.
- Thank you.
474
00:29:36,860 --> 00:29:38,445
- You got A Star Is Born?
- Oh, sure.
475
00:29:38,528 --> 00:29:41,114
- A Star is Born?
- She looks bad in Star is Born.
476
00:29:41,197 --> 00:29:42,866
- Yentl.
- Yentl.
477
00:29:42,949 --> 00:29:44,701
- Yentl?
- That's one of my favorites.
478
00:29:44,784 --> 00:29:47,036
- I'd watch it again.
- I love Yentl.
479
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:49,706
Yeah. "Papa, Can You Hear Me?"
480
00:29:49,789 --> 00:29:52,959
- Oh, we've heard this argument...
- Dudes, hombres, guys.
481
00:29:53,042 --> 00:29:55,628
Guys, I'm sorry. I am...
I am truly offended.
482
00:29:55,712 --> 00:29:58,631
I thought I knew you guys.
I thought you were studs.
483
00:30:01,384 --> 00:30:02,844
I guess I thought wrong.
484
00:30:03,511 --> 00:30:04,596
I'm out of here.
485
00:30:05,054 --> 00:30:06,264
- Hey.
- Howard.
486
00:30:06,347 --> 00:30:07,765
Maybe he's right. Yentl sucks.
487
00:30:13,229 --> 00:30:14,439
What did you say?
488
00:30:15,648 --> 00:30:17,192
Yentl, it sucks. It's boring.
489
00:30:22,489 --> 00:30:23,615
Say that again.
490
00:30:28,286 --> 00:30:31,539
She was too old for Yentl.
491
00:30:55,230 --> 00:30:56,356
Guess you heard the latest.
492
00:30:56,439 --> 00:30:59,067
Michael Jackson getting married again.
Yes, it is true.
493
00:30:59,150 --> 00:31:02,111
And this time he's made
the perfect choice, Howard Brackett.
494
00:31:02,195 --> 00:31:03,821
Yes, Howard Brackett.
495
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:08,701
This is Peter Malloy with day two of
496
00:31:08,785 --> 00:31:10,328
"Howard Brackett:
Will There Be a Wedding?"
497
00:31:10,411 --> 00:31:12,747
I'm standing with Aldo Hooper,
Howard's barber.
498
00:31:12,830 --> 00:31:15,750
Stylist. Razor cuts, color, full blow-dry.
499
00:31:15,833 --> 00:31:18,086
That's very nice.
So, Aldo, what do you think,
500
00:31:18,169 --> 00:31:19,629
will there be a wedding?
501
00:31:19,712 --> 00:31:23,258
Howard is booked for Saturday,
a full styling. I say yes.
502
00:31:24,634 --> 00:31:26,886
Emmett Wilson,
who has just delivered Howard's mail,
503
00:31:26,970 --> 00:31:29,764
his intimate correspondence,
letters to alleged.
504
00:31:29,847 --> 00:31:31,057
Anything we should know about?
505
00:31:31,140 --> 00:31:33,893
I can't reveal that.
I'm a postal employee.
506
00:31:33,977 --> 00:31:35,228
Don't make him mad.
507
00:31:35,311 --> 00:31:39,148
Of course Howard's getting married.
He's a man of his word.
508
00:31:39,232 --> 00:31:41,859
- Is this national?
- You bet.
509
00:31:41,943 --> 00:31:46,197
Please, use your full zip codes.
510
00:31:46,281 --> 00:31:48,199
Greenleaf High, cradle of crisis.
511
00:31:48,283 --> 00:31:50,451
Howard's seniors, youth in the crossfire.
512
00:31:50,535 --> 00:31:53,871
Tell us in your own
innocent, young words, is he gay?
513
00:31:53,955 --> 00:31:57,542
Oh, no. No, he told us.
It was all, like, this big, huge mistake.
514
00:31:57,625 --> 00:32:00,128
It just happened
because Mr. Brackett likes poetry
515
00:32:00,211 --> 00:32:01,796
and Shakespeare and uses his napkin.
516
00:32:01,879 --> 00:32:04,257
- Unlike some people.
- What?
517
00:32:04,340 --> 00:32:07,260
Teens in turmoil.
And your message to America?
518
00:32:07,343 --> 00:32:09,679
- Greenleaf rules!
- Greenleaf rules! Yeah!
519
00:32:09,762 --> 00:32:12,223
Kids on the edge,
a community in chaos.
520
00:32:12,307 --> 00:32:15,101
Indiana cries out.
Howard, can you hear?
521
00:32:21,899 --> 00:32:23,443
Howard.
522
00:32:23,526 --> 00:32:25,403
You...? You got a minute?
523
00:32:28,823 --> 00:32:30,325
Howard...
524
00:32:31,576 --> 00:32:34,454
Your life, I mean, since...
525
00:32:34,537 --> 00:32:37,707
Since the Oscars, I can...
I can only imagine.
526
00:32:37,790 --> 00:32:40,710
You know, it's over now.
It's fine. It's just fine.
527
00:32:40,793 --> 00:32:42,629
- It's all ancient history.
- Howard, we...
528
00:32:42,712 --> 00:32:45,548
We do have graduation
coming up Monday,
529
00:32:45,632 --> 00:32:50,637
and you kind of, you know,
put us right... Right in the spotlight.
530
00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:53,806
- I'm so sorry, Tom. This...
- Howard, I'd be...
531
00:32:53,890 --> 00:32:56,267
I'd be less than honest
if I didn't tell you
532
00:32:56,351 --> 00:32:58,936
that I've gotten some calls from...
533
00:33:00,313 --> 00:33:03,983
From parents wondering if, in fact, you...
534
00:33:04,067 --> 00:33:08,321
You were a ho... Ho... Ho...
535
00:33:08,404 --> 00:33:10,490
- Ho...
- Homeroom teacher?
536
00:33:10,573 --> 00:33:12,825
Homo-Ho... Homosexual.
537
00:33:14,035 --> 00:33:16,496
Tom, do I look like a homosexual?
538
00:33:16,579 --> 00:33:18,581
Would you walk for me?
539
00:33:20,083 --> 00:33:21,250
Excuse me.
540
00:33:22,752 --> 00:33:25,004
- Howard?
- Yes?
541
00:33:25,505 --> 00:33:27,632
Do you...? Do you enjoy teaching?
542
00:33:28,925 --> 00:33:30,677
No, I don't enjoy it.
543
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:32,303
You...? You don't?
544
00:33:32,387 --> 00:33:34,889
No, I love it. It's my life.
545
00:33:34,972 --> 00:33:37,809
Then you'd...? You'd miss it?
546
00:33:41,688 --> 00:33:44,273
Are...? Are you threatening me?
547
00:33:44,357 --> 00:33:47,860
No. No. I'm... I'm your friend.
548
00:33:47,944 --> 00:33:50,405
Friends... Friends don't threaten.
549
00:33:51,155 --> 00:33:52,532
No, they don't.
550
00:33:52,615 --> 00:33:54,200
Friends warn.
551
00:33:55,159 --> 00:33:56,619
And you...
552
00:33:57,286 --> 00:34:00,039
You... You are...
You are getting married, aren't you?
553
00:34:01,249 --> 00:34:05,420
But are you saying
that if I weren't getting married,
554
00:34:05,503 --> 00:34:06,629
I'd be fired?
555
00:34:08,464 --> 00:34:11,551
- But that's not an issue, is it?
- No.
556
00:34:12,885 --> 00:34:14,429
Best wishes.
557
00:34:27,650 --> 00:34:29,777
- Hi.
- Bless you, my son.
558
00:34:29,861 --> 00:34:31,028
Thank you.
559
00:34:31,112 --> 00:34:33,114
Would you like to tell me your sins?
560
00:34:33,197 --> 00:34:35,491
Yes. Yes.
561
00:34:35,575 --> 00:34:38,327
First of all, I'm... I'm not Catholic.
562
00:34:38,411 --> 00:34:39,454
Then why are you here?
563
00:34:39,537 --> 00:34:41,956
I have a friend who's Catholic
and he's very busy.
564
00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:45,042
Well, aren't you helpful?
565
00:34:45,126 --> 00:34:47,837
Well, what are his, you know, sins?
Your friend's.
566
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:51,966
He's a... He's a plumber and he's...
He's about to be married.
567
00:34:52,049 --> 00:34:53,760
He's been engaged for three years.
568
00:34:53,843 --> 00:34:55,720
Well, caution is a virtue.
569
00:34:56,262 --> 00:34:58,264
Yeah, but, see, everyone's...
570
00:34:58,347 --> 00:35:01,934
Everyone's saying something about him,
something that isn't true.
571
00:35:02,018 --> 00:35:05,062
I mean, it's not a bad thing, but he...
He isn't that thing.
572
00:35:05,146 --> 00:35:06,773
Which thing?
573
00:35:06,856 --> 00:35:08,733
Which thing
are people saying about him?
574
00:35:09,692 --> 00:35:11,152
That...
575
00:35:12,111 --> 00:35:14,614
- He's... That he's... That he's gay.
- That he's what?
576
00:35:15,948 --> 00:35:17,617
That he's gay.
577
00:35:17,700 --> 00:35:19,702
- Oh, my.
- Yeah.
578
00:35:19,786 --> 00:35:21,621
Oh, my, my, my.
579
00:35:21,704 --> 00:35:23,956
Well, that's rather like
that fellow on the Oscars.
580
00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:27,335
That... That Howard Brackett
from over at Greenleaf.
581
00:35:27,418 --> 00:35:29,754
Yeah, but it's not him.
This is a different guy.
582
00:35:29,837 --> 00:35:33,674
- And what is it he wants to know?
- He wants to know what he should do.
583
00:35:33,758 --> 00:35:36,302
What is the right thing?
He needs to know...
584
00:35:36,385 --> 00:35:39,263
His mother's planning
this huge wedding with the...
585
00:35:39,347 --> 00:35:42,600
With the whole town,
and it's her whole life.
586
00:35:42,683 --> 00:35:48,231
It's gonna be beautiful, but he...
He li...
587
00:35:48,314 --> 00:35:50,233
He doesn't wanna leave this town.
588
00:35:50,775 --> 00:35:56,697
And he has this wonderful fiancée
who's sweet and thin,
589
00:35:57,031 --> 00:36:00,117
and he just has never had
a physical relationship with her.
590
00:36:00,201 --> 00:36:02,662
Never? In three years?
591
00:36:02,745 --> 00:36:04,747
- He respects her.
- He's gay.
592
00:36:04,831 --> 00:36:06,332
- No, he's not.
- Yes, he is.
593
00:36:06,415 --> 00:36:08,209
No, he can't... No.
594
00:36:09,210 --> 00:36:11,629
Well, then he must go to her.
595
00:36:11,712 --> 00:36:13,297
He's got to find out.
596
00:36:13,381 --> 00:36:16,008
He must be, you know...
597
00:36:16,092 --> 00:36:17,927
Be with her.
598
00:36:19,053 --> 00:36:20,429
Really?
599
00:36:23,224 --> 00:36:24,684
Before the wedding?
600
00:36:26,352 --> 00:36:28,396
Godspeed, my son.
601
00:36:30,064 --> 00:36:31,566
Now, let's do Michael.
602
00:36:48,124 --> 00:36:50,543
Emily? Emily.
603
00:36:51,127 --> 00:36:52,628
- Howard.
- Emily.
604
00:36:52,712 --> 00:36:54,005
Howard.
605
00:36:55,882 --> 00:36:57,758
Howard. Howard.
606
00:36:58,509 --> 00:37:00,386
We're getting married. We are.
607
00:37:00,469 --> 00:37:02,805
- We are getting married.
- Of course we're getting...
608
00:37:02,889 --> 00:37:04,432
I'm glad we're getting married, Howard.
609
00:37:05,391 --> 00:37:06,601
Oh, okay.
610
00:37:09,478 --> 00:37:12,398
- Howard.
- Yeah. Who's gay, huh?
611
00:37:13,900 --> 00:37:14,901
Howard.
612
00:37:16,944 --> 00:37:18,112
That's right.
613
00:37:23,910 --> 00:37:25,703
Howard, what is all this?
614
00:37:26,245 --> 00:37:28,581
I'm sorry. I'm under a lot of pressure.
615
00:37:28,664 --> 00:37:30,583
I... Could you turn him off?
616
00:37:30,666 --> 00:37:32,168
- Howard, Howard.
- I can't.
617
00:37:32,251 --> 00:37:34,795
Howard, I love you. I'm not worried.
618
00:37:34,879 --> 00:37:37,465
- You don't understand.
- Of course I do.
619
00:37:38,382 --> 00:37:41,719
Look at your life. The Oscars, the press.
620
00:37:41,802 --> 00:37:43,679
It's no wonder you're going crazy.
621
00:37:43,763 --> 00:37:44,931
But it doesn't matter.
622
00:37:45,014 --> 00:37:46,933
- Why not?
- Because I love you,
623
00:37:47,016 --> 00:37:48,559
and we're getting married.
624
00:37:48,643 --> 00:37:50,645
You still want that, Howard, don't you?
625
00:37:51,771 --> 00:37:55,691
That's why I transformed myself,
isn't it?
626
00:37:55,775 --> 00:37:57,360
Do you want me to start eating again?
627
00:37:57,443 --> 00:38:01,572
- No.
- I can, Howard. I'm very fragile.
628
00:38:05,117 --> 00:38:06,243
I love you.
629
00:38:33,604 --> 00:38:35,606
Oh, my God. Howard.
630
00:38:35,690 --> 00:38:37,692
Howard. You okay?
631
00:38:39,151 --> 00:38:42,613
No. No, I'm not okay.
632
00:38:42,697 --> 00:38:44,448
I've never been so not okay in my life.
633
00:38:44,532 --> 00:38:46,659
I tried to stop. I...
634
00:38:47,201 --> 00:38:51,080
One week ago, I was fine.
I was... I was perfect.
635
00:38:53,332 --> 00:38:55,334
I want my life back!
636
00:38:55,418 --> 00:38:58,629
Well, that is
not going to happen, Howard.
637
00:38:58,713 --> 00:39:01,007
- Your life has changed.
- But why?
638
00:39:01,090 --> 00:39:02,675
Why is this happening?
639
00:39:02,758 --> 00:39:05,261
I haven't changed.
One little word and everybody changes.
640
00:39:05,344 --> 00:39:08,389
I'm still the same person. Why...?
Why doesn't anyone believe me?
641
00:39:08,472 --> 00:39:11,892
Well, this town is crazy about you.
I've talked to everyone.
642
00:39:12,435 --> 00:39:14,645
Stop. That's it.
That's the problem. It's you.
643
00:39:14,729 --> 00:39:18,733
You're trying to turn me into a story,
into something juicy for your show.
644
00:39:19,191 --> 00:39:21,193
Well, I am not a sound bite.
645
00:39:21,277 --> 00:39:23,446
I'm tr... I'm... Look, I'm...
646
00:39:24,363 --> 00:39:26,991
I am hurting the people I care about.
647
00:39:27,074 --> 00:39:30,161
My students, my family, Emily.
I love Emily.
648
00:39:30,244 --> 00:39:33,873
Well, then think about
what you're doing to her.
649
00:39:33,956 --> 00:39:37,835
Oh, will you...? It's like...
You're like talking to... I...
650
00:39:37,918 --> 00:39:39,086
Why am I talking to you?
651
00:39:39,170 --> 00:39:41,464
You couldn't possibly understand
what this is like.
652
00:39:41,547 --> 00:39:42,590
Howard, I'm gay.
653
00:39:44,175 --> 00:39:46,302
- You're what?
- I'm gay. I came out.
654
00:39:48,971 --> 00:39:51,640
- To whom?
- Who? To everyone.
655
00:39:51,724 --> 00:39:55,102
My folks, my boss, my dog.
656
00:39:55,186 --> 00:39:57,480
Yeah, one day, I just snapped.
657
00:39:57,563 --> 00:40:01,817
I just got tired of switching pronouns
and remembering to lower my voice,
658
00:40:01,901 --> 00:40:04,653
and I couldn't take
lying to the people that I love.
659
00:40:04,737 --> 00:40:06,739
- Does that sound familiar?
- No.
660
00:40:06,822 --> 00:40:11,077
So I just said,
"Mom, Dad, Sparky, I'm gay."
661
00:40:12,870 --> 00:40:13,913
What happened?
662
00:40:15,247 --> 00:40:18,042
Well, my mom cried
for exactly ten seconds.
663
00:40:18,125 --> 00:40:22,296
My boss said, "Who cares?"
And my dad said, "But you're so tall."
664
00:40:22,379 --> 00:40:28,219
Howard, everyone surprised me,
once I let them, once I trusted them.
665
00:40:28,302 --> 00:40:32,598
You know, sometimes the worst thing
you think can happen
666
00:40:32,681 --> 00:40:34,225
turns out to be the best thing.
667
00:40:36,352 --> 00:40:38,312
- For you.
- For anyone.
668
00:40:38,395 --> 00:40:41,023
Yes, but I am not gay!
669
00:40:41,107 --> 00:40:42,525
What was Streisand's eighth album?
670
00:40:42,608 --> 00:40:44,360
- Color Me Barbra.
- Stud.
671
00:40:44,443 --> 00:40:45,653
Everyone knows that.
672
00:40:45,736 --> 00:40:49,031
Everyone where?
The little gay bar on the prairie?
673
00:40:49,115 --> 00:40:51,992
- You know what you need?
- Yeah, I need a wedding. I need...
674
00:41:08,092 --> 00:41:09,176
You... You...
675
00:41:14,515 --> 00:41:16,559
- You kissed me.
- You noticed.
676
00:41:18,435 --> 00:41:20,938
You... You... This is not Los Angeles.
677
00:41:21,021 --> 00:41:22,857
What, people don't kiss in Greenleaf?
678
00:41:22,940 --> 00:41:25,359
Not at an intersection!
679
00:41:27,069 --> 00:41:29,238
Oh, stop. Oh, hello, sweetheart.
680
00:41:29,655 --> 00:41:32,158
Mom. Dad. Hi.
681
00:41:32,825 --> 00:41:34,118
Look, it's the cake.
682
00:41:34,201 --> 00:41:35,995
- Yes. Well...
- Everything okay there?
683
00:41:36,078 --> 00:41:39,081
Oh, yeah, fine. We...
This is my Peter... Friend, Peter.
684
00:41:39,165 --> 00:41:41,959
We just ran into each other here
at the intersexual... Homosection...
685
00:41:42,042 --> 00:41:44,253
Intersection. I gotta go.
686
00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:48,757
- It's that fella from TV.
- Thank you.
687
00:41:48,841 --> 00:41:51,677
If you're Howard's buddy, I do hope
you'll be coming to the wedding.
688
00:41:53,304 --> 00:41:54,346
The wedding.
689
00:41:54,889 --> 00:41:58,058
That's right. Sunday morning, 9 a.m.
690
00:41:58,142 --> 00:42:01,562
I gotta go. I have to prepare myself.
It's formal, you know?
691
00:42:20,206 --> 00:42:21,957
Okay. Okay.
692
00:42:35,137 --> 00:42:39,433
Welcome to our series
on exploring your masculinity.
693
00:42:39,516 --> 00:42:42,394
This is audio tape number one,
694
00:42:42,478 --> 00:42:44,396
"Getting a grip."
695
00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:47,942
Are you dressed
in suitably masculine attire?
696
00:42:48,943 --> 00:42:51,028
- Very.
- Are you in control?
697
00:42:51,111 --> 00:42:54,114
- Yes.
- Are you ready to take charge?
698
00:42:55,741 --> 00:42:58,285
Are you a man?
699
00:42:58,369 --> 00:42:59,745
Yes.
700
00:42:59,828 --> 00:43:00,955
Stand up.
701
00:43:05,542 --> 00:43:08,712
Stand straight and tall.
702
00:43:08,796 --> 00:43:11,006
Excuse me, are we a little teapot?
703
00:43:12,591 --> 00:43:14,426
Untuck your shirt.
704
00:43:15,886 --> 00:43:17,513
Just one side.
705
00:43:20,891 --> 00:43:22,601
You hate this, don't you?
706
00:43:22,685 --> 00:43:24,103
Well, look at it.
707
00:43:24,186 --> 00:43:25,854
You want to be neat.
708
00:43:25,938 --> 00:43:27,606
You want to be tidy.
709
00:43:28,232 --> 00:43:29,566
Adjust yourself.
710
00:43:31,568 --> 00:43:33,195
Not there.
711
00:43:33,279 --> 00:43:35,447
The package, sissy man.
712
00:43:35,531 --> 00:43:37,324
The family jewels.
713
00:43:40,202 --> 00:43:41,370
Grab them.
714
00:43:43,455 --> 00:43:46,041
- You're in a bar room.
- Okay.
715
00:43:46,125 --> 00:43:47,584
Repeat after me.
716
00:43:47,668 --> 00:43:50,045
- Yo.
- Yo.
717
00:43:50,129 --> 00:43:51,964
- Hot damn.
- Hot damn.
718
00:43:52,047 --> 00:43:53,841
What a fabulous window treatment.
719
00:43:53,924 --> 00:43:55,926
- What a fabulous win...
- That was a trick.
720
00:43:57,261 --> 00:43:58,470
Damn.
721
00:43:58,554 --> 00:44:02,182
We have come to the most
critical area of masculine behavior.
722
00:44:02,266 --> 00:44:04,351
- What?
- Dancing.
723
00:44:07,354 --> 00:44:09,148
Yes.
724
00:44:09,231 --> 00:44:12,568
Truly, manly men do not dance.
725
00:44:12,651 --> 00:44:13,902
Oh, come on.
726
00:44:13,986 --> 00:44:16,280
Under any circumstances.
727
00:44:16,363 --> 00:44:18,824
This will be your ultimate test.
728
00:44:18,907 --> 00:44:24,371
At all costs,
avoid rhythm, grace and pleasure.
729
00:44:24,455 --> 00:44:27,750
Whatever you do, do not dance.
730
00:44:30,419 --> 00:44:31,587
I won't.
731
00:44:31,670 --> 00:44:34,006
- Can you hear it?
- Yes.
732
00:44:34,089 --> 00:44:36,508
Can you hear the demon?
733
00:44:36,592 --> 00:44:39,720
"Dance, " the demon whispers.
734
00:44:39,803 --> 00:44:42,389
Everyone else is dancing.
735
00:44:42,473 --> 00:44:44,058
They're getting down.
736
00:44:44,141 --> 00:44:45,642
They're getting funky now.
737
00:44:45,726 --> 00:44:48,771
- They're having fun. Not you.
- No.
738
00:44:48,854 --> 00:44:50,522
Catch the fever.
739
00:44:50,606 --> 00:44:53,192
Feel the heat of the disco beat.
740
00:44:53,817 --> 00:44:55,736
It's calling to you.
741
00:44:55,819 --> 00:44:59,198
Do not listen. Men do not dance.
742
00:44:59,281 --> 00:45:02,701
They work, they drink,
they have bad backs.
743
00:45:02,785 --> 00:45:04,286
They do not dance.
744
00:45:04,370 --> 00:45:09,166
Hold still. Hold tight.
Whatever you do, do not dance.
745
00:45:14,546 --> 00:45:16,965
What are you doing?
746
00:45:17,049 --> 00:45:20,677
Stop dancing, you big ballerina.
747
00:45:20,761 --> 00:45:22,096
Stop waving those hands.
748
00:45:25,182 --> 00:45:27,434
Aren't you listening, you pantywaist?
749
00:45:27,518 --> 00:45:30,396
Stop it. Stop shaking that booty.
750
00:45:32,022 --> 00:45:33,273
Be a man.
751
00:45:33,357 --> 00:45:35,734
Kick someone. Punch someone.
752
00:45:35,818 --> 00:45:37,403
Bite someone's ear.
753
00:45:39,738 --> 00:45:42,282
Stop it. Get a grip.
754
00:45:43,534 --> 00:45:47,287
Think about John Wayne,
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
755
00:45:47,371 --> 00:45:50,040
Arnold doesn't dance.
He can barely walk.
756
00:45:51,083 --> 00:45:53,377
Stop it. Stop it.
757
00:45:53,460 --> 00:45:56,213
Just stop dancing.
758
00:45:57,798 --> 00:46:00,676
So how did you do, pussy boy?
759
00:46:16,316 --> 00:46:18,152
Oh, is it all right? Is my veil crooked?
760
00:46:18,235 --> 00:46:19,653
Oh, it's perfect.
761
00:46:19,736 --> 00:46:23,157
You're everything I've ever dreamed of
for a wedding and more.
762
00:46:23,240 --> 00:46:25,159
- Do you have an attorney?
- Hush.
763
00:46:25,242 --> 00:46:27,536
You're radiant, dear.
764
00:46:27,619 --> 00:46:30,831
I just can't believe it.
It's really happening.
765
00:46:30,914 --> 00:46:34,334
My life, after all those years,
it's starting.
766
00:46:34,418 --> 00:46:36,545
My mom says it won't last.
767
00:46:36,628 --> 00:46:38,672
Your mom's an alcoholic.
768
00:46:46,513 --> 00:46:48,765
That's terrible. It's terrible.
769
00:46:48,849 --> 00:46:50,851
- Son, do you need some help there?
- No, I'm fine.
770
00:46:50,934 --> 00:46:53,395
It's just that the dry cleaners
left a shine on my trousers,
771
00:46:53,479 --> 00:46:55,814
and my right lapel is slightly bent,
772
00:46:55,898 --> 00:46:58,108
and the laundry did not use
enough starch in my shirt front.
773
00:46:58,192 --> 00:47:00,360
I mean, where are we, the Ukraine?
774
00:47:00,444 --> 00:47:02,404
How can I get married
if I look like a hobo?
775
00:47:02,488 --> 00:47:03,697
Howard.
776
00:47:03,780 --> 00:47:05,991
I'm coming, Dad. I'm coming.
One minute.
777
00:47:07,993 --> 00:47:09,411
Just wait.
778
00:47:09,495 --> 00:47:11,705
She said at the church at 4.
779
00:47:14,875 --> 00:47:17,336
Oh, look, there he is.
780
00:47:18,629 --> 00:47:20,797
Well, he's so nice.
781
00:48:32,244 --> 00:48:34,162
What a joyous morning.
782
00:48:34,246 --> 00:48:36,373
What a perfect day.
783
00:48:36,456 --> 00:48:39,585
What a gloriously splendid occasion.
784
00:48:41,545 --> 00:48:45,674
Dearly, dearly beloved,
we are gathered here
785
00:48:45,757 --> 00:48:49,678
to join this wonderful couple
in the state of holiest matrimony
786
00:48:50,637 --> 00:48:53,098
before the eyes of God.
787
00:48:54,641 --> 00:48:56,184
Before we begin the vows,
788
00:48:56,268 --> 00:48:58,937
is there anyone present
who knows of a reason
789
00:48:59,021 --> 00:49:02,649
why this couple should not be joined
in holy wedlock?
790
00:49:11,033 --> 00:49:12,159
Very good.
791
00:49:13,452 --> 00:49:18,290
Because let us remember,
a marriage is truly a blessed event.
792
00:49:18,373 --> 00:49:24,254
It must be a union
based on deepest love, total kinship,
793
00:49:24,338 --> 00:49:26,965
and absolute honesty.
794
00:49:29,468 --> 00:49:30,969
Let us begin.
795
00:49:32,387 --> 00:49:36,516
Do you, Emily, take this man
to be your lawfully wedded husband
796
00:49:36,600 --> 00:49:41,396
to have and to hold
till death do you part?
797
00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:42,981
I do.
798
00:49:44,691 --> 00:49:49,655
And do you, Howard, take this woman
to be your lawfully wedded wife
799
00:49:49,738 --> 00:49:53,867
to have and to hold
till death do you part?
800
00:49:57,788 --> 00:49:59,373
I'm gay.
801
00:50:00,999 --> 00:50:02,167
Pardon?
802
00:50:13,845 --> 00:50:15,514
I'm...
803
00:50:15,597 --> 00:50:17,432
- I'm gay.
- You're what?
804
00:50:17,516 --> 00:50:18,767
He's gay.
805
00:50:19,142 --> 00:50:20,310
I heard him.
806
00:50:25,065 --> 00:50:29,069
Everyone, everyone,
what Howard meant to say was
807
00:50:29,152 --> 00:50:31,405
he's having a wonderful day.
808
00:50:31,488 --> 00:50:32,739
Mom.
809
00:50:37,160 --> 00:50:38,453
Dad.
810
00:50:46,670 --> 00:50:47,713
I'm gay.
811
00:51:26,001 --> 00:51:27,627
Seventy-five pounds.
812
00:51:27,711 --> 00:51:29,963
I lost 75 pounds.
813
00:51:30,046 --> 00:51:33,675
I'm a horrible person,
and you have every right to hate me.
814
00:51:33,759 --> 00:51:36,261
You should hate me.
I want you to hate me.
815
00:51:36,344 --> 00:51:37,596
I insist that you hate me.
816
00:51:38,096 --> 00:51:43,310
I'm... I'm scum, I'm garbage,
I'm vermin, and... And I'm sorry.
817
00:51:44,060 --> 00:51:45,145
You're sorry?
818
00:51:46,438 --> 00:51:47,939
You're sorry?
819
00:51:48,273 --> 00:51:53,653
After I... I wait for you for...
820
00:51:53,737 --> 00:51:55,071
No.
821
00:51:55,155 --> 00:51:58,116
No, not just three years.
822
00:51:58,200 --> 00:52:00,076
My entire life!
823
00:52:00,160 --> 00:52:03,455
After I plan my future
around our wedding,
824
00:52:03,538 --> 00:52:08,001
after I base
my entire concept of self-esteem
825
00:52:08,084 --> 00:52:10,921
on the fact
that you're willing to marry me,
826
00:52:11,004 --> 00:52:12,506
and you're sorry?
827
00:52:13,215 --> 00:52:14,633
I'm sorry.
828
00:52:16,718 --> 00:52:20,305
Thank God my parents are dead.
This would've killed them.
829
00:52:26,728 --> 00:52:28,355
Are you...? Are you...?
830
00:52:29,272 --> 00:52:31,358
Are you really gay?
831
00:52:37,405 --> 00:52:40,700
Was there
832
00:52:43,411 --> 00:52:46,873
any other time
you might've told me this?
833
00:52:49,709 --> 00:52:54,047
I'm wearing a wedding dress
which you picked out!
834
00:52:54,548 --> 00:52:59,135
I... I... I highlighted my hair
because you said I needed shimmer.
835
00:52:59,219 --> 00:53:02,764
I loved you and believed you and...
836
00:53:02,848 --> 00:53:05,642
And pretended not to notice
the Streisand thing.
837
00:53:06,434 --> 00:53:08,144
I thought you were just creative.
838
00:53:08,228 --> 00:53:09,896
I thought you were just smarter than me
839
00:53:09,980 --> 00:53:14,484
and more sensitive
and more interesting.
840
00:53:14,568 --> 00:53:17,821
I thought you were
the most wonderful man who ever lived.
841
00:53:17,904 --> 00:53:23,785
I thought you could just change my life
and show me the whole world
842
00:53:23,869 --> 00:53:28,540
and teach me about art
and life and magic.
843
00:53:28,623 --> 00:53:34,129
And I thought you could make me feel
like a beautiful woman
844
00:53:34,212 --> 00:53:36,923
instead of the girl nobody wanted.
845
00:53:38,008 --> 00:53:39,050
Oh, no.
846
00:53:39,551 --> 00:53:40,886
Emily.
847
00:53:41,553 --> 00:53:43,346
But... But...
848
00:53:43,430 --> 00:53:44,556
Emily. Emily.
849
00:53:47,517 --> 00:53:52,564
Does anybody here know how many
times I've had to watch Funny Lady?
850
00:53:56,067 --> 00:53:59,154
It was a sequel.
She was under contract.
851
00:53:59,946 --> 00:54:03,158
Fuck Barbra Streisand!
852
00:54:03,241 --> 00:54:04,451
And you!
853
00:54:15,962 --> 00:54:17,339
Emily.
854
00:54:21,551 --> 00:54:23,929
Emily. Emily.
855
00:54:48,370 --> 00:54:50,956
Howard. You did it.
856
00:54:51,039 --> 00:54:53,249
I'm so proud of you. Congratulations.
857
00:54:54,084 --> 00:54:57,420
Congr...? Congratulation...?
I just destroyed Emily's life.
858
00:54:57,504 --> 00:54:58,505
I killed her.
859
00:54:59,464 --> 00:55:00,966
You saved her life.
860
00:55:01,049 --> 00:55:03,969
Oh, God. I don't believe it.
861
00:55:04,052 --> 00:55:05,345
I...
862
00:55:06,513 --> 00:55:11,351
I just came out at my wedding.
863
00:55:11,434 --> 00:55:13,061
In front of everybody.
864
00:55:13,144 --> 00:55:17,065
My family, my friends, my mom, my da...
865
00:55:17,148 --> 00:55:18,358
Look at my hand.
866
00:55:18,441 --> 00:55:19,943
It was fantastic.
867
00:55:20,026 --> 00:55:21,319
It was a nightmare.
868
00:55:21,403 --> 00:55:25,615
I ju... I ju... I ju... I just demolished
my mother's dream wedding.
869
00:55:25,699 --> 00:55:28,702
I'm... I'm a... I'm a monster.
I'm... I'm a lunatic.
870
00:55:28,785 --> 00:55:31,788
You're a hero,
and I've got great footage.
871
00:55:31,871 --> 00:55:33,081
I got the whole thing.
872
00:55:33,164 --> 00:55:35,000
Oh, is that
what this is all about? Footage?
873
00:55:35,083 --> 00:55:37,419
Here, I'll give you your headline.
874
00:55:37,502 --> 00:55:42,632
Howard Brackett is a big homo,
queer, mary, sissy man.
875
00:55:43,133 --> 00:55:45,593
He just came out
at his big church wedding.
876
00:55:45,677 --> 00:55:47,762
Martha Stewart is furious.
877
00:55:48,304 --> 00:55:50,640
- There, is that what you want?
- That was great stuff.
878
00:56:06,364 --> 00:56:08,533
No, tell him
I really appreciate the offer,
879
00:56:08,616 --> 00:56:11,244
but I just don't think I'm right for it.
880
00:56:11,327 --> 00:56:13,913
This is Peter Malloy
for Inside Entertainment.
881
00:56:13,997 --> 00:56:16,791
I'm standing in front of
Greenleaf's First Methodist Church,
882
00:56:16,875 --> 00:56:20,128
where Howard Brackett
has boldly declared, "I don't."
883
00:56:20,754 --> 00:56:23,381
- Cam, come look at this.
- After a week of stress and pressure,
884
00:56:23,465 --> 00:56:25,675
Brackett, outed by Cameron Drake
at the Oscars,
885
00:56:25,759 --> 00:56:28,219
today, to the amazement
of family and friends,
886
00:56:28,303 --> 00:56:31,389
outed himself at his own wedding.
887
00:56:31,473 --> 00:56:33,308
You can imagine the fireworks.
888
00:56:33,391 --> 00:56:36,478
He's been besieged by the media,
his job may be in jeopardy,
889
00:56:36,561 --> 00:56:37,979
and as for his fiancée,
890
00:56:38,063 --> 00:56:41,399
fellow English teacher
Emily Montgomery, well, who knows?
891
00:56:41,900 --> 00:56:43,151
Miss Montgomery?
892
00:56:43,234 --> 00:56:47,864
But the real question is,
where is Cameron Drake?
893
00:56:47,947 --> 00:56:50,742
This is Peter Malloy
for Inside Entertainment.
894
00:56:50,825 --> 00:56:52,368
We gotta get out of here.
895
00:56:53,495 --> 00:56:55,663
- Cam?
- We gotta go.
896
00:56:56,790 --> 00:56:58,166
Go where?
897
00:56:58,249 --> 00:57:00,543
Greenleaf, because of what I said.
898
00:57:00,919 --> 00:57:03,088
I gotta see what's going on.
I gotta do something.
899
00:57:03,171 --> 00:57:05,381
But I promised Isaac I'd do his show.
900
00:57:05,465 --> 00:57:09,260
The new collection is this afternoon.
I have to shower and vomit.
901
00:57:14,474 --> 00:57:17,560
Man. At his wedding.
902
00:57:17,644 --> 00:57:19,479
Yeah, poor Miss Montgomery.
903
00:57:20,605 --> 00:57:24,692
So I guess Mr. Brackett's
really like that Cameron guy said.
904
00:57:25,735 --> 00:57:27,654
And you, like, hung out with him.
905
00:57:27,737 --> 00:57:30,073
He drove you to that college interview.
906
00:57:30,156 --> 00:57:33,034
Didn't you, like, stay over somewhere?
907
00:57:33,118 --> 00:57:35,453
But nothing happened.
908
00:57:35,537 --> 00:57:38,873
I mean, I don't even know the guy.
Not anymore.
909
00:57:38,957 --> 00:57:41,501
Excuse me. You don't know the guy?
910
00:57:41,584 --> 00:57:42,836
He only got you into college.
911
00:57:42,919 --> 00:57:45,338
I mean, just last week
he was only, like, your total hero.
912
00:57:45,421 --> 00:57:46,798
That was last week.
913
00:57:47,799 --> 00:57:52,762
Guys, we had a gay teacher all year.
914
00:57:52,846 --> 00:57:56,808
We have to face that
and move on with our lives.
915
00:57:56,891 --> 00:57:58,643
What are you talking about?
916
00:57:59,644 --> 00:58:02,147
Kids, how was the wedding?
917
00:58:03,857 --> 00:58:05,733
Fine.
918
00:58:29,716 --> 00:58:33,178
You know, I can understand
about Howard being gay,
919
00:58:33,261 --> 00:58:38,516
but I will never ever understand
as long as I live, as God is my witness,
920
00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:41,227
how could he not want a wedding?
921
00:58:42,270 --> 00:58:45,523
Oh, sweetie, it's not your fault.
922
00:58:45,607 --> 00:58:47,358
You have two boys.
923
00:58:47,442 --> 00:58:49,360
You fed them the same,
you raised them the same,
924
00:58:49,444 --> 00:58:52,572
and you loved them the same.
And one of them is gay.
925
00:58:52,655 --> 00:58:55,074
- And the other one is...
- Walter.
926
00:58:56,701 --> 00:58:59,120
Howard was just being honest,
927
00:58:59,204 --> 00:59:02,123
clearing the air
before he made a real mess.
928
00:59:02,207 --> 00:59:03,458
What's wrong with that?
929
00:59:04,000 --> 00:59:06,461
What are we all so afraid of?
930
00:59:06,544 --> 00:59:10,924
What do we think will happen
if we all just spill the beans?
931
00:59:13,092 --> 00:59:14,302
I don't know.
932
00:59:14,761 --> 00:59:16,971
All right, I'll start.
933
00:59:19,766 --> 00:59:24,020
My Rice Krispie treats
that I made for the reception,
934
00:59:25,563 --> 00:59:27,398
they're not my recipe.
935
00:59:29,234 --> 00:59:30,985
It's Harriet Carter's.
936
00:59:31,611 --> 00:59:34,906
After she died
from that massive embolism,
937
00:59:34,989 --> 00:59:36,532
a lie was born.
938
00:59:38,785 --> 00:59:41,162
These are a dead-woman's treats.
939
00:59:43,331 --> 00:59:45,083
Oh, my.
940
00:59:48,878 --> 00:59:53,007
All right, I'll say it right out loud.
941
00:59:55,176 --> 00:59:58,638
I hated The Bridges of Madison County.
942
01:00:01,224 --> 01:00:03,434
My husband has three testicles.
943
01:00:06,062 --> 01:00:07,146
Bob?
944
01:00:09,107 --> 01:00:10,358
It's disgusting.
945
01:00:24,914 --> 01:00:27,542
Oh, I love this.
946
01:00:39,887 --> 01:00:41,264
Howard?
947
01:01:11,044 --> 01:01:12,670
So...
948
01:01:14,589 --> 01:01:16,132
So...
949
01:01:20,386 --> 01:01:22,013
Are you still gay?
950
01:01:24,307 --> 01:01:25,350
Yep.
951
01:01:30,605 --> 01:01:32,648
Are you gonna have an operation?
952
01:01:33,066 --> 01:01:34,192
Excuse me?
953
01:01:34,275 --> 01:01:37,236
Will you be going into show business?
954
01:01:37,987 --> 01:01:40,406
Absolutely. Vegas.
955
01:01:41,574 --> 01:01:43,034
I'm making an effort here.
956
01:01:44,410 --> 01:01:45,495
I know, Dad.
957
01:01:45,578 --> 01:01:47,330
I'm a farmer.
958
01:01:49,665 --> 01:01:52,251
Your mother asked me to come here.
She's worried about you.
959
01:01:52,335 --> 01:01:54,504
She's afraid you're not eating.
960
01:01:56,464 --> 01:01:58,257
She sent you this.
961
01:01:59,300 --> 01:02:01,260
- What is it?
- Wedding cake.
962
01:02:01,803 --> 01:02:02,887
She's diabolical.
963
01:02:02,970 --> 01:02:04,347
She's insane.
964
01:02:09,727 --> 01:02:14,440
Will we be seeing you
at the graduation tomorrow?
965
01:02:16,526 --> 01:02:20,696
I got a call right after the wedding.
Or after there was no wedding.
966
01:02:20,780 --> 01:02:22,073
They fired me.
967
01:02:32,375 --> 01:02:34,544
You taught those kids.
968
01:02:36,421 --> 01:02:39,799
If you're not there,
what are they gonna think?
969
01:02:41,134 --> 01:02:42,885
I don't know.
970
01:02:48,975 --> 01:02:52,353
That Barbra Streisand,
did she do something to you?
971
01:02:52,437 --> 01:02:53,479
Dad.
972
01:03:01,362 --> 01:03:02,989
Thank you.
973
01:03:03,072 --> 01:03:04,574
Cam.
974
01:03:06,075 --> 01:03:07,827
Cam.
975
01:03:10,329 --> 01:03:13,207
Cameron, where are we?
976
01:03:13,624 --> 01:03:15,918
I told you, it's a motel.
977
01:03:17,587 --> 01:03:20,923
Cameron, you don't seem to realize.
978
01:03:21,007 --> 01:03:24,510
I am a supermodel. I am Sonya.
979
01:03:24,594 --> 01:03:27,513
And I'm in a motel in Greenblatt?
980
01:03:28,097 --> 01:03:29,974
Greenleaf. This is where I grew up.
981
01:03:30,057 --> 01:03:31,184
I don't care.
982
01:03:31,267 --> 01:03:34,687
Sonya, we're here to help someone.
983
01:03:34,770 --> 01:03:37,648
For once, we're gonna think about
something besides our careers
984
01:03:37,732 --> 01:03:39,233
and our hair.
985
01:03:39,317 --> 01:03:41,402
We're gonna help Mr. Brackett,
if I can find him.
986
01:03:45,323 --> 01:03:47,992
Cam. Cam.
987
01:03:48,075 --> 01:03:49,577
Cameron, where are you going?
988
01:03:50,453 --> 01:03:52,163
Cam.
989
01:03:52,246 --> 01:03:54,248
You can't just leave me here.
990
01:03:55,750 --> 01:03:59,086
There's a diner down the block.
Go eat something, I'm begging you.
991
01:04:01,797 --> 01:04:04,884
You look like a swizzle stick.
It's unhealthy.
992
01:04:05,718 --> 01:04:06,886
Food?
993
01:04:07,678 --> 01:04:11,390
Cameron, I'm warning you,
I'm calling my agency.
994
01:04:26,280 --> 01:04:28,074
Cam.
995
01:04:40,169 --> 01:04:41,796
Well, can I get a drink?
996
01:04:46,926 --> 01:04:48,010
What kind?
997
01:04:48,094 --> 01:04:49,929
Let's see. What kind?
998
01:04:51,138 --> 01:04:52,181
Is vodka okay?
999
01:04:52,265 --> 01:04:54,475
That's right. Straight-up.
1000
01:04:56,143 --> 01:04:59,647
And some peanuts. Lots of them.
1001
01:05:00,731 --> 01:05:02,942
I don't care about anything anymore.
1002
01:05:03,025 --> 01:05:05,069
What else have you got back there?
1003
01:05:05,152 --> 01:05:06,696
I just wanna eat.
1004
01:05:06,779 --> 01:05:09,198
I just wanna gorge.
1005
01:05:09,282 --> 01:05:10,616
Hey, thanks.
1006
01:05:16,747 --> 01:05:18,332
You're from TV.
1007
01:05:20,793 --> 01:05:22,962
- Guilty.
- You're that guy.
1008
01:05:23,045 --> 01:05:24,463
What are you doing here?
1009
01:05:24,547 --> 01:05:28,301
Well, I am getting drunk.
1010
01:05:29,051 --> 01:05:32,722
I had a bad day. A very, very bad day.
1011
01:05:34,599 --> 01:05:37,685
- Excuse me?
- You win.
1012
01:05:37,768 --> 01:05:38,811
I hate men.
1013
01:05:42,565 --> 01:05:46,319
Am I so repulsive
that no man would want me?
1014
01:05:46,402 --> 01:05:47,862
No.
1015
01:05:48,654 --> 01:05:50,239
You're very attractive.
1016
01:05:51,824 --> 01:05:53,784
Howard didn't think so.
1017
01:05:53,868 --> 01:05:55,494
Howard didn't want me.
1018
01:05:56,370 --> 01:05:57,663
Listen to me.
1019
01:06:00,416 --> 01:06:03,461
Now, this is Howard's problem,
not yours.
1020
01:06:04,170 --> 01:06:07,590
And he should've told you, years ago.
1021
01:06:10,259 --> 01:06:11,427
Okay?
1022
01:06:20,186 --> 01:06:21,729
I love you.
1023
01:06:22,521 --> 01:06:23,648
You're nice.
1024
01:06:24,899 --> 01:06:27,652
I'm not nice. I'm a hack.
1025
01:06:27,735 --> 01:06:29,820
I'm show-business garbage.
1026
01:06:34,742 --> 01:06:36,535
Will you sleep with me?
1027
01:06:44,335 --> 01:06:45,628
What?
1028
01:06:47,880 --> 01:06:51,050
- Three years.
- Oh, my God.
1029
01:06:51,133 --> 01:06:55,763
Three years of sunsets and long talks
1030
01:06:55,846 --> 01:06:59,016
- and loving supportive friendship.
- Oh, my God.
1031
01:06:59,100 --> 01:07:01,310
This is my wedding night.
1032
01:07:01,394 --> 01:07:05,648
I'm there, I'm ready.
This is a medical condition.
1033
01:07:05,731 --> 01:07:08,901
Gee, thank you, but I can't.
1034
01:07:08,984 --> 01:07:10,945
Are you married?
Are you seeing someone?
1035
01:07:11,028 --> 01:07:12,113
- No, I...
- I don't care.
1036
01:07:12,196 --> 01:07:14,490
- Well, no, I...
- You're a man. I'm a woman.
1037
01:07:14,990 --> 01:07:16,409
I'm gay.
1038
01:07:23,082 --> 01:07:26,127
Is everybody gay?
1039
01:07:27,128 --> 01:07:29,213
Is this The Twilight Zone?
1040
01:07:31,382 --> 01:07:32,675
Oh, hey.
1041
01:07:33,634 --> 01:07:35,469
Oh, hi. Hi.
1042
01:07:35,553 --> 01:07:37,263
Will you marry me?
1043
01:07:37,346 --> 01:07:40,182
I have the dress,
I have the plane tickets.
1044
01:07:40,266 --> 01:07:42,101
I'm packed.
1045
01:07:45,229 --> 01:07:46,772
Stop.
1046
01:07:46,856 --> 01:07:48,524
Stop, please.
1047
01:07:48,607 --> 01:07:51,986
Stop. You have to stop.
It's an emergency.
1048
01:07:52,069 --> 01:07:55,114
I need a heterosexual, Code Red.
1049
01:08:01,245 --> 01:08:02,913
Miss, are you okay?
1050
01:08:04,165 --> 01:08:05,458
Do you need help?
1051
01:08:06,250 --> 01:08:09,920
No, no, no. I'm just beyond help.
1052
01:08:10,004 --> 01:08:11,255
I'm just a grinch.
1053
01:08:11,338 --> 01:08:13,257
I'm a jinx.
1054
01:08:22,349 --> 01:08:24,185
Miss...? Miss Montgomery?
1055
01:08:35,362 --> 01:08:36,697
Cameron?
1056
01:08:41,994 --> 01:08:43,829
Oh, my God.
1057
01:08:43,913 --> 01:08:45,122
Cameron?
1058
01:08:46,957 --> 01:08:48,042
What happened to you?
1059
01:08:50,878 --> 01:08:54,298
Well... Well, everything.
1060
01:08:54,381 --> 01:08:58,344
Well, you won the Oscar
and you said Howard was gay,
1061
01:08:58,427 --> 01:09:01,430
and I didn't believe you,
and I had no self-esteem...
1062
01:09:01,514 --> 01:09:03,599
No, no, I mean your...
1063
01:09:03,682 --> 01:09:05,059
Your body. What happened?
1064
01:09:07,102 --> 01:09:11,315
Well, what happened? Well, I was fat.
1065
01:09:11,398 --> 01:09:15,694
And I... And I swore
I'd become someone else tonight.
1066
01:09:15,778 --> 01:09:20,032
I did,
and now I'm more miserable than ever.
1067
01:09:20,115 --> 01:09:25,538
And I'm a mess, and I'm starving.
1068
01:09:25,621 --> 01:09:27,206
But why?
1069
01:09:27,832 --> 01:09:30,167
Why did you wanna change?
1070
01:09:30,251 --> 01:09:33,212
You... You were so beautiful.
1071
01:09:37,383 --> 01:09:38,634
I was?
1072
01:09:38,717 --> 01:09:42,304
I mean, you still are. You always were.
1073
01:09:42,388 --> 01:09:46,100
It's just skinny girls can be
so annoying sometimes.
1074
01:09:46,183 --> 01:09:48,227
Oh, I mean, but you're not.
1075
01:09:49,353 --> 01:09:53,357
You're just like I remember you
from after school.
1076
01:09:55,776 --> 01:09:57,111
You remember?
1077
01:09:58,612 --> 01:10:03,284
But, soft! What light
through yonder window breaks?
1078
01:10:03,367 --> 01:10:06,036
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
1079
01:10:09,290 --> 01:10:12,042
How camest thou hither,
1080
01:10:12,126 --> 01:10:15,629
tell me, and wherefore?
1081
01:10:19,758 --> 01:10:23,637
With love's light wings
did I o'er-perch these walls;
1082
01:10:28,475 --> 01:10:30,728
For stony limits cannot hold love in.
1083
01:10:32,938 --> 01:10:34,023
"Out."
1084
01:10:36,609 --> 01:10:38,193
Cannot hold love out.
1085
01:10:55,169 --> 01:10:56,629
I can't, you're a student.
1086
01:10:57,212 --> 01:10:58,714
Not anymore.
1087
01:11:18,609 --> 01:11:20,569
I've seen all your movies.
1088
01:11:21,528 --> 01:11:23,030
Both of them?
1089
01:11:38,128 --> 01:11:40,839
Kim, Dan, wait up.
1090
01:11:44,760 --> 01:11:46,345
Let's go, it's starting.
1091
01:11:46,428 --> 01:11:48,347
Is my cap on straight?
1092
01:12:11,537 --> 01:12:12,830
Hey, Jack.
1093
01:12:18,168 --> 01:12:20,546
Hey, Mr. Brackett.
1094
01:12:21,672 --> 01:12:22,798
Big day.
1095
01:12:23,632 --> 01:12:26,301
Yeah. Yeah, I can't believe it.
1096
01:12:28,512 --> 01:12:30,139
Congratulations.
1097
01:12:31,348 --> 01:12:34,435
- Yeah, thanks.
- Jack. Come on, we're late.
1098
01:12:35,144 --> 01:12:36,520
Good luck next year.
1099
01:12:37,980 --> 01:12:39,648
You too.
1100
01:12:39,732 --> 01:12:41,400
Indiana State is lucky to have you.
1101
01:12:54,204 --> 01:12:57,833
Hail to thee O Greenleaf High
1102
01:12:57,916 --> 01:13:02,046
'Neath the Indiana sky
1103
01:13:02,129 --> 01:13:06,050
Through thy halls
We spent our youth
1104
01:13:06,133 --> 01:13:10,262
Seeking knowledge, learning truth
1105
01:13:10,345 --> 01:13:14,516
Like a friend who walks beside us
1106
01:13:14,600 --> 01:13:18,604
Greenleaf High will always guide us
1107
01:13:18,687 --> 01:13:23,275
We will love thee till we die
1108
01:13:23,358 --> 01:13:29,281
Hail to thee O Greenleaf High
1109
01:13:36,455 --> 01:13:40,417
That song always reminds me of our...
1110
01:13:41,251 --> 01:13:42,920
Our school motto.
1111
01:13:44,296 --> 01:13:48,884
Studare, Imapre, partire.
1112
01:13:50,010 --> 01:13:54,181
"Study, learn, leave."
1113
01:13:55,682 --> 01:13:58,102
Now, before we begin
handing out diplomas,
1114
01:13:58,185 --> 01:13:59,520
I have an announcement to make.
1115
01:14:00,145 --> 01:14:01,438
We've...
1116
01:14:06,026 --> 01:14:08,070
Well, we've...
1117
01:14:08,153 --> 01:14:10,948
We've had quite a year, haven't we?
1118
01:14:11,031 --> 01:14:15,494
But let's begin our ceremony
on a high note.
1119
01:14:15,577 --> 01:14:20,165
We're awfully proud, of course,
of our Oscar-winning graduate,
1120
01:14:20,249 --> 01:14:22,292
but, today we have a...
1121
01:14:23,752 --> 01:14:26,130
Another winner, if you will.
1122
01:14:26,213 --> 01:14:29,633
That's right, our teacher of the year.
1123
01:14:30,717 --> 01:14:34,680
And what do they say?
"May I have the envelope, please?"
1124
01:14:38,976 --> 01:14:41,520
The winner is...
1125
01:14:41,979 --> 01:14:44,565
I always get so nervous here.
1126
01:14:44,648 --> 01:14:46,441
Can you hear my heart beating?
1127
01:14:49,486 --> 01:14:51,780
Seriously, though,
ladies and gentlemen,
1128
01:14:51,864 --> 01:14:54,616
our brand-new teacher of the year,
1129
01:14:56,285 --> 01:14:58,287
Edward Kenrow.
1130
01:14:59,246 --> 01:15:00,289
No.
1131
01:15:05,043 --> 01:15:06,712
This is such a surprise.
1132
01:15:06,795 --> 01:15:09,548
- Ed, Ed, over here.
- Thank you, Tom.
1133
01:15:12,009 --> 01:15:16,388
Hoosiers.
What is the definition of a Hoosier?
1134
01:15:16,471 --> 01:15:18,849
- Well, in the early part of the...
- Mr. Kenrow?
1135
01:15:18,932 --> 01:15:21,685
- Excuse me?
- Mr. Kenrow.
1136
01:15:22,436 --> 01:15:25,063
Yes, I'm a recent Greenleaf graduate.
1137
01:15:25,147 --> 01:15:26,940
Oh, my God, it's Cameron Drake.
1138
01:15:27,983 --> 01:15:29,568
It's Cameron.
1139
01:15:29,651 --> 01:15:30,903
It's Cameron.
1140
01:15:34,031 --> 01:15:36,116
Guys, please, please.
1141
01:15:41,788 --> 01:15:44,208
People, can we have
a little respect here?
1142
01:15:44,291 --> 01:15:47,294
We have our teacher...
Our teacher of the year.
1143
01:15:50,464 --> 01:15:52,633
Guys, please, please.
1144
01:15:54,801 --> 01:15:56,428
Man, I am...
1145
01:15:56,511 --> 01:15:59,932
I'm really sorry to interrupt.
It's graduation and everything.
1146
01:16:00,015 --> 01:16:02,142
I was looking for Mr. Brackett.
1147
01:16:02,226 --> 01:16:03,310
Hey, Mr. Brackett.
1148
01:16:04,770 --> 01:16:06,104
Cameron.
1149
01:16:06,563 --> 01:16:09,149
Mr. Brackett, weren't you up
for this teacher-of-the-year thing?
1150
01:16:09,233 --> 01:16:11,443
No. Withdrawn.
1151
01:16:11,526 --> 01:16:12,778
Tom.
1152
01:16:12,861 --> 01:16:14,196
Ineligible.
1153
01:16:15,155 --> 01:16:17,699
Mr. Brackett is... He's no longer...
1154
01:16:17,783 --> 01:16:19,368
No longer an emplo...
An employee here.
1155
01:16:20,035 --> 01:16:21,161
What?
1156
01:16:21,245 --> 01:16:22,579
Why? What happened?
1157
01:16:23,038 --> 01:16:25,123
He resigned. Sadly.
1158
01:16:26,458 --> 01:16:28,210
It's fine, Cameron.
It's all over and done with.
1159
01:16:28,293 --> 01:16:29,461
Today belongs to the students.
1160
01:16:29,920 --> 01:16:32,464
Yes, this is for the kids,
for the youngsters.
1161
01:16:32,547 --> 01:16:33,632
They canned him?
1162
01:16:33,715 --> 01:16:36,343
Wait, is this about the Oscars
and the gay thing?
1163
01:16:36,426 --> 01:16:37,469
No.
1164
01:16:37,552 --> 01:16:39,304
- No. No, no, no.
- No.
1165
01:16:40,138 --> 01:16:41,223
Then what is it?
1166
01:16:42,015 --> 01:16:47,646
Well, we felt...
The community felt that... That it was...
1167
01:16:48,021 --> 01:16:51,858
It was a question of... Of influence.
1168
01:16:54,069 --> 01:16:56,530
I'm sorry. I'm a little slow.
1169
01:16:56,613 --> 01:17:00,075
I was a C student,
and now I'm an actor, so...
1170
01:17:00,742 --> 01:17:01,785
Influence?
1171
01:17:02,244 --> 01:17:07,833
Well, you know, I mean, it's all right
to be this way or that way at home,
1172
01:17:07,916 --> 01:17:12,212
you know, in your...
In your private area... Arena.
1173
01:17:13,046 --> 01:17:19,011
But... But Mr. Brackett, after all, is...
Was a teacher.
1174
01:17:20,137 --> 01:17:23,515
Oh, I see, I see.
So you're thinking about the students?
1175
01:17:23,890 --> 01:17:27,352
Yes. Yes, that's... That's what...
That's what this is all about.
1176
01:17:28,061 --> 01:17:31,148
Oh, okay, so...
All right, so stay with me here, then.
1177
01:17:31,231 --> 01:17:34,693
So, what you're saying then
is since Mr. Brackett's gay
1178
01:17:34,776 --> 01:17:39,531
that he's gonna like send out
some kind of voodoo vibes
1179
01:17:39,614 --> 01:17:45,120
or gay microwaves
and make everybody else gay?
1180
01:17:45,203 --> 01:17:48,457
Well, in the... In a... In a crude...
Crude manner of speaking.
1181
01:17:48,540 --> 01:17:51,168
Well, seniors,
you've all had Mr. Brackett.
1182
01:17:51,710 --> 01:17:53,045
Is that the way it works?
1183
01:17:53,128 --> 01:17:56,006
- Kids, you don't have to answer that.
- Really, this is not the time
1184
01:17:56,089 --> 01:17:58,759
- and place to discuss that.
- It's a completely inappropriate forum.
1185
01:17:59,676 --> 01:18:01,803
- Cameron.
- This is still a graduation ceremony.
1186
01:18:01,887 --> 01:18:03,889
May I please finish
my acceptance speech?
1187
01:18:04,348 --> 01:18:08,018
Hoosiers.
What is the definition of a Hoosier?
1188
01:18:08,101 --> 01:18:11,188
- Well, way back in...
- Excuse me, I'm gay.
1189
01:18:15,233 --> 01:18:16,360
Who said that?
1190
01:18:21,656 --> 01:18:22,741
Jack.
1191
01:18:29,706 --> 01:18:33,001
I had Mr. Brackett for senior English.
1192
01:18:33,085 --> 01:18:34,711
He taught me Shakespeare.
1193
01:18:35,921 --> 01:18:40,342
Well, he was my track coach,
and he also helped me get into college.
1194
01:18:41,968 --> 01:18:45,514
I just realized
that what Mr. Halliwell said is right.
1195
01:18:48,934 --> 01:18:51,103
It must've rubbed off.
1196
01:18:51,186 --> 01:18:52,437
I'm gay.
1197
01:18:54,481 --> 01:18:57,818
You see? This is exactly my point.
A young life corrupted.
1198
01:18:57,901 --> 01:18:59,319
Thank you. Very brave.
1199
01:19:00,654 --> 01:19:03,365
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
1200
01:19:03,448 --> 01:19:05,367
- Young lady?
- It's happening.
1201
01:19:06,076 --> 01:19:10,414
I had Mr. Brackett all year and...
Oh, my God, I'm gay.
1202
01:19:10,497 --> 01:19:11,706
Excuse me?
1203
01:19:11,790 --> 01:19:14,668
If there's something wrong
with Mr. Brackett or Jack,
1204
01:19:14,751 --> 01:19:16,753
then there's something wrong with me.
1205
01:19:16,837 --> 01:19:18,588
- I'm gay.
- So am I.
1206
01:19:18,672 --> 01:19:20,298
- Oh, she is not.
- You're not.
1207
01:19:20,382 --> 01:19:22,551
I know you're not. You're a tramp.
1208
01:19:24,845 --> 01:19:27,389
- Mike. Michael.
- Oh, man.
1209
01:19:27,472 --> 01:19:28,640
Stirgo.
1210
01:19:28,723 --> 01:19:32,978
All right. I'm gay.
I'm a homo. I like guys.
1211
01:19:33,061 --> 01:19:35,230
I mean, I still do it with chicks
every chance I get,
1212
01:19:35,313 --> 01:19:36,982
and I'm totally good at it,
1213
01:19:38,108 --> 01:19:40,902
but I hate it and I'm gay.
1214
01:19:41,236 --> 01:19:43,905
Kids, kids, kids,
please, please, sit down.
1215
01:19:44,865 --> 01:19:46,074
We're here to graduate.
1216
01:19:46,158 --> 01:19:50,579
I'm sure Mr. Brackett
is gratified by your display.
1217
01:19:51,079 --> 01:19:55,000
Compassion is a wonderful quality,
however misguided.
1218
01:19:55,083 --> 01:19:58,837
But as Howard very well knows,
the decision is not yours.
1219
01:19:58,920 --> 01:20:00,046
It is a gonad thing.
1220
01:20:01,840 --> 01:20:04,843
A... A grown-up thing.
1221
01:20:06,136 --> 01:20:07,554
I have to answer to the community,
1222
01:20:07,637 --> 01:20:11,349
and as far
as the community is concerned
1223
01:20:11,433 --> 01:20:16,313
toward Howard Brackett,
they have said, "No, no, no."
1224
01:20:17,522 --> 01:20:21,359
Now, please, sit down
and let's pass out some diplomas.
1225
01:20:22,360 --> 01:20:24,070
Well, I'm a...
1226
01:20:29,784 --> 01:20:32,829
I'm a member of the community,
and I don't mind that Howard's gay.
1227
01:20:33,371 --> 01:20:34,706
But you're his brother.
1228
01:20:37,125 --> 01:20:40,337
As... As you... As you know.
1229
01:20:43,840 --> 01:20:45,383
So you know what that means.
1230
01:20:49,429 --> 01:20:50,805
I must be gay.
1231
01:20:52,349 --> 01:20:55,018
But... But...
But you're not a parent, are you?
1232
01:20:55,977 --> 01:20:57,229
Excuse me, I'm a parent.
1233
01:21:00,732 --> 01:21:03,026
I've lived in this town all my life.
1234
01:21:04,486 --> 01:21:05,862
I'm Howard's father.
1235
01:21:09,616 --> 01:21:10,867
And I'm gay.
1236
01:21:14,621 --> 01:21:18,792
I'm Howard's mother,
and I'm very proud of him.
1237
01:21:18,875 --> 01:21:21,545
And I'm... I'm a lesbian.
1238
01:21:25,257 --> 01:21:26,591
Excuse me.
1239
01:21:26,675 --> 01:21:29,970
Hi. I run
the Bridal Barn for Better Brides,
1240
01:21:30,053 --> 01:21:32,722
and I can tell you
Howard has perfect taste.
1241
01:21:32,806 --> 01:21:35,392
So do I. So I'm gay.
1242
01:21:36,643 --> 01:21:40,063
I'm Howard's stylist, and I'm gay.
1243
01:21:40,146 --> 01:21:41,731
And I'm bald.
1244
01:21:44,276 --> 01:21:46,736
I deliver Howard's mail
and everybody else's.
1245
01:21:46,820 --> 01:21:49,698
I'm a federal employee, and I'm gay.
1246
01:21:49,990 --> 01:21:52,742
Fire Chief Fred Mooney,
and the volunteer fire brigade.
1247
01:21:53,451 --> 01:21:55,495
Howard has always been ready
to lend a hand.
1248
01:21:56,288 --> 01:21:57,622
Gay!
1249
01:21:57,706 --> 01:21:58,873
- I'm gay.
- I'm gay.
1250
01:21:59,416 --> 01:22:01,084
- I'm gay.
- I'm gay.
1251
01:22:01,543 --> 01:22:03,420
- I'm gay.
- I'm gay.
1252
01:22:03,920 --> 01:22:06,172
- I'm gay!
- I'm gay!
1253
01:22:06,256 --> 01:22:07,966
- I'm gay.
- I'm gay.
1254
01:22:08,049 --> 01:22:09,551
- I'm gay.
- I'm gay.
1255
01:22:09,634 --> 01:22:11,261
- I'm gay.
- I'm gay.
1256
01:22:11,344 --> 01:22:13,221
- I'm gay.
- I'm gay.
1257
01:22:16,349 --> 01:22:17,892
I'm gay!
1258
01:22:17,976 --> 01:22:19,352
- I'm gay.
- I'm gay.
1259
01:22:20,020 --> 01:22:22,522
But he's not the teacher of the year.
1260
01:22:22,606 --> 01:22:25,525
I am, and this belongs to me.
1261
01:22:25,609 --> 01:22:28,486
Well, maybe Mr. Brackett
deserves something else.
1262
01:22:53,845 --> 01:22:55,013
Thank you.
1263
01:23:28,254 --> 01:23:30,382
- You ready?
- Nearly.
1264
01:23:32,384 --> 01:23:35,095
Very snappy. Nervous?
1265
01:23:35,970 --> 01:23:37,347
No. Why should I be nervous?
1266
01:23:37,430 --> 01:23:39,933
It's just a wedding.
I just want everything to be perfect.
1267
01:23:40,016 --> 01:23:41,559
It will be.
1268
01:23:42,310 --> 01:23:43,561
Is your cameraman here?
1269
01:23:44,104 --> 01:23:46,523
No. Not today. I'm not filming this.
1270
01:23:47,107 --> 01:23:50,235
There are some things
more important than showbiz.
1271
01:23:50,902 --> 01:23:52,278
Really? Like what?
1272
01:23:52,904 --> 01:23:55,573
I don't know. But didn't that sound good?
1273
01:23:56,157 --> 01:23:57,909
Guys, we're starting.
1274
01:24:00,870 --> 01:24:02,580
Preacher's waiting.
1275
01:24:08,670 --> 01:24:11,756
What a truly special occasion.
1276
01:24:11,840 --> 01:24:14,676
What a joyous ceremony.
1277
01:24:14,759 --> 01:24:16,928
What an unusual couple.
1278
01:24:20,682 --> 01:24:22,475
Berniece, after 42 years,
1279
01:24:22,559 --> 01:24:25,478
do you still take Frank
to be your lawfully wedded husband?
1280
01:24:26,730 --> 01:24:28,106
I do.
1281
01:24:28,189 --> 01:24:31,609
And do you, Frank, take Berniece
to be your lawfully wedded wife?
1282
01:24:31,693 --> 01:24:33,111
I'd better.
1283
01:24:34,487 --> 01:24:39,492
I now pronounce your vows renewed
for another 42 years.
1284
01:24:39,576 --> 01:24:41,244
You may kiss the bride.