1 00:00:07,441 --> 00:00:08,609 MAIL'S HERE. 2 00:00:08,642 --> 00:00:10,044 AH, THE MAIL. 3 00:00:10,078 --> 00:00:12,813 WHAT WOULD A DAY ON EARTH BE LIKE WITHOUT THE MAIL? 4 00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,182 PROBABLY A LOT LIKE SUNDAY. 5 00:00:14,215 --> 00:00:15,649 AH! HA HA. 6 00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:17,085 "SALLY SOLOMON, 7 00:00:17,118 --> 00:00:19,820 "YOU HAVE BEEN PREAPPROVED FOR A PLATINUM CREDIT CARD. 8 00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:24,758 ONLY OUR MOST VALUED AND CHERISHED CUSTOMERS QUALIFY FOR PLATINUM STATUS." 9 00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:26,860 YOU GUYS, I QUALIFY FOR PLATINUM STATUS! 10 00:00:26,894 --> 00:00:29,330 SO DID I! ME TOO! 11 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:30,431 HELLO, FAMILY. 12 00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:31,599 HEY, MAIL'S HERE. 13 00:00:31,632 --> 00:00:33,234 AH, THE MAIL. 14 00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:37,071 WHAT WOULD A DAY ON EARTH BE LIKE WITHOUT THE MAIL? 15 00:00:37,105 --> 00:00:40,274 PROBABLY A LOT LIKE SUNDAY. 16 00:00:40,308 --> 00:00:41,309 YOU KNOW, THAT'S VERY CLEVER. HARRY. 17 00:00:41,342 --> 00:00:42,910 UH, WAIT. I SAID THAT. 18 00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:44,778 OH, REALLY? 19 00:00:44,812 --> 00:00:47,748 HOW SAD. 20 00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:51,051 OH, THIS ONE'S ADDRESSED TO "MR. RICHARD SOLOMON." 21 00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:53,687 MY, HOW FORMAL. 22 00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:54,822 "DEAREST RICHARD, 23 00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:57,158 "I HOPE WITH ALL OF MY HEART THAT THIS LETTER FINDS YOU. 24 00:00:57,191 --> 00:00:59,793 "TOO MANY YEARS HAVE GONE BY. WE MISS YOU GREATLY. 25 00:00:59,827 --> 00:01:02,496 "PLEASE COME TO THE SOLOMON FAMILY REUNION THIS YEAR. 26 00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:05,065 ALL OF MY LOVE, AUNT FLORENCE." 27 00:01:05,099 --> 00:01:06,434 DICK, YOU NEVER TOLD US 28 00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:07,801 YOU HAD AN AUNT FLORENCE. 29 00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:09,002 HE DOESN'T, YOU MOOK. 30 00:01:09,036 --> 00:01:10,438 THAT LETTER WAS OBVIOUSLY MEANT 31 00:01:10,471 --> 00:01:11,605 FOR SOME OTHER DICK SOLOMON. 32 00:01:11,639 --> 00:01:13,641 WELL, I'LL JUST CALL UP THIS AUNT FLORENCE 33 00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:15,309 AND SET HER STRAIGHT. 34 00:01:15,343 --> 00:01:16,944 GREAT SCOTT! 35 00:01:16,977 --> 00:01:19,213 I'VE QUALIFIED FOR PLATINUM STATUS! 36 00:01:57,418 --> 00:02:00,087 YES, HELLO. IS THIS FLORENCE SOLOMON? 37 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,190 HI, MY NAME IS DICK SOLOMON. 38 00:02:02,223 --> 00:02:07,828 I-I'VE GOT THIS, UH, INVITATION TO A FAMILY REUNION, AND I-- 39 00:02:07,861 --> 00:02:12,300 WELL, YES, IT'S NICE TO HEAR YOUR VOICE, TOO, BUT-- 40 00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:15,102 YES, I AM AS ADORABLE AS I ALWAYS WAS. 41 00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:19,507 HAS IT REALLY BEEN 43 YEARS? 42 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,845 THEN, IF I DID TURN UP, 43 00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:28,716 YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T EVEN RECOGNIZE ME, HUH? 44 00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:30,083 THAT'S-- 45 00:02:30,117 --> 00:02:34,988 YES, IT WOULD BE WONDERFUL TO SEE THE FAMILY AGAIN, AUNT FLORENCE. 46 00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:37,124 I LOVE YOU, TOO. 47 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,392 YES... 48 00:02:38,426 --> 00:02:39,827 YES. BYE-BYE. 49 00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:43,664 I HAVE AN AUNT FLORENCE. 50 00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:44,632 WHAT? 51 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:47,268 WHAT? OH, THAT WAS AUNT FLORENCE IN INDIANA. 52 00:02:47,301 --> 00:02:49,803 SINCE WHEN DO YOU HAVE AN AUNT FLORENCE IN INDIANA? 53 00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:52,606 SINCE WHEN DO YOU HAVE AN AUNT FLORENCE IN INDIANA? 54 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:53,307 I DON'T. 55 00:02:53,341 --> 00:02:54,808 SO WHERE'S THE BIG COINCIDENCE? 56 00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:58,446 YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES, NINA, YOU MAKE NO SENSE. 57 00:02:58,479 --> 00:02:59,347 ARE YOU GONNA VISIT HER? 58 00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:01,282 WE HAVE A FAMILY REUNION THIS WEEKEND. 59 00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:03,984 IT SOUNDS LIKE IT'S GONNA BE WONDERFUL. YOU WANNA COME? 60 00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,253 ARE YOU SURE IT'S ALL RIGHT? 61 00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:06,654 WELL, OF COURSE IT'S ALL RIGHT. 62 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:07,721 OH, DICK, IT'S FAMILY, I-- 63 00:03:07,755 --> 00:03:09,323 NO, DON'T WORRY, MARY. 64 00:03:09,357 --> 00:03:10,958 I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND MY FAMILY 65 00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:13,527 TO BE WARM AND NURTURING. 66 00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:14,662 IT WON'T BEAR ANY RESEMBLANCE 67 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:17,565 TO THE LIQUOR-DRENCHED ORGY OF HATRED AND RECRIMINATION 68 00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:20,701 THAT MARKS EVERY ALBRIGHT GET-TOGETHER. 69 00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:29,410 SALLY, WE'RE NOT SPENDING THE WHOLE WINTER AT THIS REUNION. 70 00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:31,312 BACK OFF, ALL RIGHT? I'M NOT LIKE YOU GUYS. 71 00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:34,214 I CAN'T JUST THROW IN A TOOTHBRUSH AND A PAIR OF UNDERWEAR 72 00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:37,117 AND BE SET FOR THE WEEKEND. 73 00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:38,819 UNDERWEAR! 74 00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:45,125 WELL, IS EVERYBODY READY TO GO TO OUR FAMILY REUNION? 75 00:03:45,158 --> 00:03:47,795 DICK, THIS IS NOT OUR FAMILY. 76 00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:49,363 YEAH, WHAT IF THEY START ASKING QUESTIONS? 77 00:03:49,397 --> 00:03:50,898 YEAH. WELL, THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF THIS. 78 00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:53,634 AUNT FLORENCE HASN'T SEEN RICHARD SINCE HE WAS 5 YEARS OLD. 79 00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:54,602 FOR ALL THEY KNOW, I'M HIM. 80 00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:55,836 WELL, AS A TEENAGER, 81 00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:59,340 THE IDEA OF GOING TO A FAMILY REUNION SICKENS ME TO MY CORE. 82 00:03:59,373 --> 00:04:01,141 TOMMY, UH... 83 00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:03,210 WE'VE BEEN HERE ON EARTH FOR ALMOST 3 YEARS, 84 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:06,614 AND WE STILL LACK SOMETHING THAT'S SO IMPORTANT TO US-- 85 00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:08,849 ROOTS. A CONNECTION. 86 00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:10,618 LIFE HERE IS NOT JUST ABOUT WHERE WE'RE GOING, 87 00:04:10,651 --> 00:04:12,786 IT'S ABOUT WHERE WE'VE COME FROM. 88 00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:14,121 NOW WE'D BETTER GET ON THE ROAD. 89 00:04:14,154 --> 00:04:16,457 YOU KNOW HOW AUNT FLORENCE HATES IT WHEN WE'RE LATE. 90 00:04:23,163 --> 00:04:24,532 [DING-DONG] 91 00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:27,701 AUNT FLORENCE? 92 00:04:27,735 --> 00:04:28,536 YES? 93 00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:29,970 IT'S ME. RICHARD. 94 00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:31,271 RICHARD? 95 00:04:31,305 --> 00:04:34,274 OH, MY GOODNESS! IT IS YOU! 96 00:04:34,308 --> 00:04:35,943 ABE! IT'S RICHARD! 97 00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:37,711 WELL, I'LL BE DAMNED! HA HA! 98 00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:40,614 HA HA HA! WELL, WELCOME BACK! 99 00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:42,082 AND WHO ARE ALL THESE LOVELY PEOPLE? 100 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:45,619 WELL, THIS IS MY SISTER, YOUR NIECE SALLY. 101 00:04:45,653 --> 00:04:48,556 AND THIS IS MY SON, YOUR GRANDNEPHEW TOMMY. 102 00:04:48,589 --> 00:04:51,359 AND THIS IS MY BROTHER, YOUR NEPHEW HARRY. 103 00:04:51,392 --> 00:04:53,293 YAAH! HARRY! 104 00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:56,997 AND THIS LITTLE HOTTIE IS MY GIRLFRIEND MARY. 105 00:04:57,030 --> 00:04:59,800 NICE TO MEET YOU, FLORENCE. 106 00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:01,369 RICHARD, COME GREET THE FAMILY. 107 00:05:01,402 --> 00:05:02,503 THEY CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU. 108 00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:06,574 OH, I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THEM. 109 00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:09,009 UH, WELL, WE BROUGHT YOU THIS. 110 00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:10,844 IT GOES GREAT WITH STEAK. 111 00:05:10,878 --> 00:05:14,715 AT LEAST IT DID LAST NIGHT. 112 00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:15,949 YOU CHEAP BASTARD, 113 00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:18,151 YOU'LL FIT RIGHT IN AROUND HERE. 114 00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:19,319 BUNCH OF TIGHTWADS? 115 00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:22,055 TIGHTWADS? DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED WITH THIS FAMILY. 116 00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:22,856 COME HERE. 117 00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:25,559 IT'S ME, RICHARD! 118 00:05:25,593 --> 00:05:28,429 OH, IT'S ME, RICHARD! 119 00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:29,763 OH, THIS IS SO GREAT. 120 00:05:29,797 --> 00:05:30,998 I JUST OPENED MY ARMS, 121 00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:34,502 AND I'M HUGGED AND KISSED AND PINCHED BY ALL SORTS OF PEOPLE. 122 00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:36,837 THERE ISN'T EVEN A COVER CHARGE. 123 00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:39,139 WE'RE FAMILY, RICHARD! 124 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:42,242 FAMILY. IT'S ME, RICHARD! 125 00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:45,245 OH, IT DOES MY HEART GOOD TO SEE HIM BACK. 126 00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:47,848 IT'S FUNNY. HE NEVER MENTIONED ANY OF YOU. 127 00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:49,016 WELL, GIVEN ALL THE TROUBLES, 128 00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:51,351 I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE HIM HERE AGAIN. 129 00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:54,688 WHAT TROUBLES? 130 00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:00,060 HI. 131 00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:01,862 HEY. 132 00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:03,263 HEY. 133 00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,835 THAT'S A GREAT TOP. 134 00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,437 YOU THINK SO? 135 00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:11,204 I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO WEAR. 136 00:06:11,238 --> 00:06:12,473 OH, NO, IT'S-- IT'S PERFECT. 137 00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:14,842 OH, THANKS. I LIVE WITH A BUNCH OF MEN, 138 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:15,943 AND THEY WERE NO HELP AT ALL. 139 00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:17,377 YEAH. HA HA. 140 00:06:17,411 --> 00:06:19,146 HEY, I'M MICHELLE, MARTHA'S DAUGHTER. 141 00:06:19,179 --> 00:06:21,582 OH, HI, I'M SALLY, RICHARD'S SISTER. 142 00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:23,383 NICE TO MEET YOU. YOU, TOO. 143 00:06:23,417 --> 00:06:24,685 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? 144 00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:27,220 MY SWEATER WOULD GO SO GREAT WITH THAT TOP. 145 00:06:27,254 --> 00:06:28,422 OH, YOU WANNA TRY IT ON? 146 00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:30,724 SURE. 147 00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:32,993 OH, YEAH. DEFINITELY HIP. 148 00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:34,895 COOL. HA HA. 149 00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:37,130 HEY, YOU WANNA WEAR MY SHOES? 150 00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:40,968 I'VE GOT A PAIR OF SOCKS I'M NOT USING. I'LL GO GET 'EM. 151 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,613 IT'S, UH, POT ROAST. 152 00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:54,682 OH, WOW. I WAS WAY OFF. 153 00:06:57,585 --> 00:06:59,152 HI. I'M JANINE. 154 00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:01,321 I'M TOMMY. 155 00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:02,490 SO... 156 00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:03,924 [BORED] THIS IS PRETTY FUN, HUH? 157 00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:05,292 OH, YEAH. 158 00:07:05,325 --> 00:07:06,794 HEY? YOU WANNA GET OUTTA HERE? 159 00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:09,162 OH, YEAH. COME ON. 160 00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:11,465 Aunt Sylvia: AUDREY MADE HER FAMOUS AMBROSIA. 161 00:07:11,499 --> 00:07:15,335 YOU BETTER HURRY, IT'S GONNA GO. 162 00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:17,137 SWEET WOMAN, THAT SYLVIA. 163 00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:19,607 YEAH, SWEET. BUT DUMB AS A DOORKNOB. 164 00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:23,511 AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED WITH HER KIDS. 165 00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:25,679 MMM. ROCKET SCIENTISTS, HUH? 166 00:07:25,713 --> 00:07:27,414 OHH, YOU GOT IT, PAL. 167 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:31,018 WELL, DOORKNOBS BEGET DOORKNOBS. 168 00:07:34,421 --> 00:07:36,857 [HACKING IN UNISON] 169 00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:40,594 IT'S ME, RICHARD! 170 00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:41,562 FELLAS... 171 00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:45,298 IT'S ME, RICHARD! 172 00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:47,501 OH, YOU'RE NOT HUGGERS. I UNDERSTAND. 173 00:07:47,535 --> 00:07:49,537 RICHARD, I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU REMEMBER ME. 174 00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:51,104 I'M YOUR COUSIN JACOB. 175 00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:53,073 JACOB, OF COURSE. IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME. 176 00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:55,676 IT CERTAINLY HAS, DONUTS. 177 00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:57,377 DONUTS? 178 00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:58,546 WAS THAT MY NICKNAME? 179 00:07:58,579 --> 00:08:00,013 SURE. DON'T YOU REMEMBER? 180 00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:01,649 I WAS DUTCH, AND YOU WERE DONUTS. 181 00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:02,482 DONUTS? 182 00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:05,653 THIS GUY ONCE ATE 2 DOZEN DOUGHNUTS... 183 00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:09,557 AND PUKED 'EM UP ON GRANDMA LILLIAN'S WIG. 184 00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:10,457 DONUTS. 185 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,025 SAY, YOU'RE RUNNING ON EMPTY THERE, DICK. 186 00:08:12,059 --> 00:08:13,260 LET ME, UH, GET YOU A DRINK. 187 00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:14,995 SOUNDS GOOD. FELLAS, 188 00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:17,731 LAST CHANCE FOR HUGS. 189 00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:20,133 OK. CATCH YOU LATER. 190 00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:21,735 SO, DICK, 191 00:08:21,769 --> 00:08:23,036 IT'S BEEN A WHILE. 192 00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:25,338 I WOULD'VE COME SOONER IF I'D KNOWN WHAT I WAS MISSING. 193 00:08:25,372 --> 00:08:28,508 I'LL BET YOU WOULD'VE. 194 00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:30,510 WE'VE DONE ALL RIGHT SINCE YOU'VE BEEN AWAY, HAVEN'T WE? 195 00:08:30,544 --> 00:08:32,913 OH, AND I'VE NEVER SEEN SO MANY KINDS OF DIP. 196 00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:37,117 COME ON, COUSIN. 197 00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:38,852 YOU CAN BE STRAIGHT WITH ME. 198 00:08:38,886 --> 00:08:42,089 WHAT REALLY BRINGS YOU BACK HERE AFTER ALL THIS TIME? 199 00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:44,792 I CAME TO MEET MY FAMILY. 200 00:08:44,825 --> 00:08:46,827 RIGHT. 201 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:50,330 BOY, YOU ARE SOME PIECE OF WORK, DICK. 202 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:51,965 WAIT. UH... 203 00:08:51,999 --> 00:08:53,701 WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? DUTCH? 204 00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:57,037 IT'S ME, DONUTS! 205 00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:59,472 HE TOLD YOU GUYS NOT TO HUG ME, DIDN'T HE? 206 00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:02,342 SO, SALLY, YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND? 207 00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,044 YES, I DO, MICHELLE. 208 00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:05,579 HIS NAME IS DON, 209 00:09:05,613 --> 00:09:06,647 AND HE'S A COP. 210 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:08,248 OH, COPS ARE SO HOT. 211 00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:09,416 OH, YEAH, TELL ME ABOUT IT. 212 00:09:09,449 --> 00:09:12,152 AND I GOT ME THE HOTTEST ONE. 213 00:09:12,185 --> 00:09:14,354 HEY, CHECK HIM OUT. 214 00:09:21,028 --> 00:09:25,465 HANDS OFF, HON. HE'S MINE. 215 00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:28,969 YEAH, WELL, MY BOYFRIEND JUST WORKS IN A CAFETERIA. 216 00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:32,606 HOLD UP. DOES HE WEAR ONE OF THOSE COOL CAFETERIA UNIFORMS? 217 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:35,542 YEAH. AND AREN'T UNIFORMS SEXY? 218 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:36,409 WELL, YEAH. 219 00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:38,011 ALL RIGHT THEN! 220 00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:43,550 OH, YOU ARE SO COOL. I JUST FEEL LIKE I CAN TELL YOU STUFF. 221 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,218 YOU KNOW, KINDA LIKE YOU'RE MY... 222 00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:47,320 MY SISTER. 223 00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:56,764 SO, JANINE... 224 00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:58,799 DO YOU, UH, 225 00:09:58,832 --> 00:10:00,634 HAVE A BOYFRIEND? 226 00:10:00,668 --> 00:10:01,534 NO. 227 00:10:01,568 --> 00:10:04,171 BUT I'M LOOKING. 228 00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:06,674 WELL... 229 00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:10,410 LOOK NO FURTHER. 230 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:11,679 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 231 00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:12,946 MAKING MY MOVE. 232 00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:15,315 TOMMY, WE CAN'T DO THAT. 233 00:10:15,348 --> 00:10:17,751 WE'RE, LIKE, COUSINS. 234 00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:19,987 OH, YEAH. ABOUT THAT, SEE... 235 00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:22,589 THE THING IS, THAT'S NOT REALLY ILLEGAL OR ANYTHING. 236 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:25,258 IT'S JUST...TABOO. 237 00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:27,060 OH, MY GOD! 238 00:10:27,094 --> 00:10:28,495 I'M, LIKE, SO CREEPED OUT. 239 00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:31,298 WAIT, WAIT. WE'RE VERY DISTANT COUSINS. 240 00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:33,901 YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW DISTANT WE ARE. DISTANT! 241 00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:39,306 OH, MARY, THE ODDEST THING JUST HAPPENED. 242 00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:41,608 I THINK ONE OF MY RELATIVES TOLD ME OFF. 243 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,276 WAS IT JACOB? 244 00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:44,978 HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT? 245 00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:46,980 DICK, HOW MUCH DID YOUR FATHER TELL YOU 246 00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:51,819 ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN HIM AND THE FAMILY? 247 00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:52,753 NOT A LOT. 248 00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:55,188 H-HE LOST HIS MOUTH IN THE WAR. 249 00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:58,658 YOU BETTER SIT DOWN. 250 00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:01,762 DICK... 251 00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:03,596 WHEN YOUR FATHER FELL IN LOVE WITH YOUR MOTHER, 252 00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:05,933 SHE HAD JUST ARRIVED FROM LITHUANIA. 253 00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:08,668 SHE WAS POOR, SHE DIDN'T SPEAK ANY ENGLISH. 254 00:11:08,702 --> 00:11:10,670 THE FAMILY DIDN'T APPROVE OF HER. 255 00:11:10,704 --> 00:11:11,071 MOMMY? 256 00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:13,240 ANYWAY... 257 00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:16,576 YOUR FATHER WAS FORCED TO CHOOSE BETWEEN HER AND THE FAMILY, 258 00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:17,945 AND HE CHOSE HER. 259 00:11:17,978 --> 00:11:18,779 DADDY? 260 00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:21,081 SO THE FAMILY... DISOWNED HIM, 261 00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:23,050 AND IT WAS JACOB'S FATHER 262 00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:25,385 WHO CUT HIM OUT OF THE FAMILY FURNITURE BUSINESS. 263 00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:28,188 CAST OUT ONTO THE STREET BY HIS OWN FLESH AND BLOOD? 264 00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:29,489 MY GOD, MARY. 265 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:32,659 MY FAMILY IS DESPICABLE. 266 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,294 AH, YOU GET USED TO IT. 267 00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:40,633 THEY GAVE YOUR MOM AND DAD THE BOOT, HUH? 268 00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:42,502 SALLY, IT'S OUR MOM AND DAD. 269 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,337 IT'S NOBODY'S MOM AND DAD! 270 00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:47,207 I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT OUR FAMILY WOULD DO ANYTHING SO HEARTLESS. 271 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:50,243 DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THIS FAMILY. 272 00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:54,347 ROGER'S A DRUNK. 273 00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:55,783 DARREN HASN'T PAID TAXES 274 00:11:55,816 --> 00:11:58,318 SINCE THE EISENHOWER ADMINISTRATION. 275 00:11:58,351 --> 00:12:02,122 COUSIN MARTY'S GOT HIS OWN WEBSITE-- 276 00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:04,057 NAKEDMARTY.COM. 277 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:09,162 WHY DON'T WE JUST ADMIT TO THEM THAT WE'RE IMPOSTORS? 278 00:12:09,196 --> 00:12:10,097 YEAH, RIGHT. 279 00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:11,498 YOU JUST WANT US TO COME CLEAN 280 00:12:11,531 --> 00:12:13,333 SO YOU CAN GO SUCK FACE WITH YOUR COUSIN. 281 00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:15,135 YEAH, WELL, AT LEAST I HAVEN'T DELUDED MYSELF 282 00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:16,636 INTO THINKING I HAVE A SISTER. 283 00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:19,106 HEY, YOU LEAVE MISSY OUT OF THIS. 284 00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:20,273 I'M CURIOUS. 285 00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:25,512 DOES THIS FAMILY HAVE A HISTORY OF MENTAL ILLNESS? 286 00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:28,215 WELL, THERE IS A TOUCH OF DEMENTIA ON MY FATHER'S SIDE. 287 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:31,684 OH, THAT EXPLAINS A FEW THINGS. 288 00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:32,752 DICK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 289 00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:33,553 I HAVE TO TALK TO JACOB. 290 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:34,387 WELL, CALM DOWN. 291 00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:35,455 JACOB, WE HAVE TO TALK. 292 00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:37,690 HERE IT COMES. 293 00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:39,092 I'VE HEARD SOME THINGS ABOUT THE FAMILY 294 00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:39,893 AND THE BUSINESS-- 295 00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:42,129 SO YOU FINALLY WORKED UP THE MARBLES 296 00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:42,996 TO GET AROUND TO IT. 297 00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:44,497 SO, THIS IS ABOUT THE BUSINESS. 298 00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:46,099 WHO'S SHE, YOUR LAWYER? 299 00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:48,201 OH, NO, I'M HIS GIRLFRIEND. 300 00:12:48,235 --> 00:12:49,102 OH. 301 00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:50,137 NOT MARRIED? 302 00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:52,005 THAT'S CURIOUS. 303 00:12:52,039 --> 00:12:53,106 LOOK, DICK, 304 00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:54,875 YOUR FATHER LEFT THIS FAMILY, 305 00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:56,576 AND MY FATHER WAS RIGHT TO CUT HIM OUT OF THE BUSINESS. 306 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:59,412 AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, YOU'RE NOT ENTITLED TO A PENNY. 307 00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:01,281 YOU THINK I WANT MONEY?! 308 00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:03,050 WELL, BY THE LOOKS OF THAT CAR YOU ARRIVED IN, 309 00:13:03,083 --> 00:13:04,952 I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED. 310 00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:06,019 I WOULD HAVE YOU KNOW 311 00:13:06,053 --> 00:13:09,089 THAT I'M QUALIFIED FOR PLATINUM STATUS! 312 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,158 SO I'D ZIP IT IF I WERE YOU! 313 00:13:11,191 --> 00:13:14,161 OH, PLEASE. WE SHOULDN'T GET PERSONAL. 314 00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:15,863 I'D STAY OUT OF THIS, HONEY. 315 00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:17,998 HONEY?! 316 00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:20,500 WELL, LET ME TELL YOU A THING OR TWO, HONEY. 317 00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:22,535 WHOEVER DID YOUR ELECTROLYSIS... 318 00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:25,472 MISSED A SPOT! 319 00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:27,074 HOW DARE YOU?! 320 00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:27,875 COME ON, JACOB. 321 00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:29,176 OH, THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S RIGHT! 322 00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:30,944 HIDE BEHIND HER APRON STRINGS. 323 00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:33,847 OH, PLEASE, RICHARD. YOU'RE ACTING JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER. 324 00:13:33,881 --> 00:13:35,115 DAMN STRAIGHT, AUNT FLORENCE! 325 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,850 DAMN STRAIGHT! 326 00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:43,423 [PLAYING CLARINET BADLY] 327 00:13:43,456 --> 00:13:45,692 MAN, I CAN'T CATCH A BREAK. 328 00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:47,995 I FINALLY MEET A HOT GIRL-- WHO LIKES ME-- 329 00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:50,964 AND SHE TURNS OUT TO BE MY COUSIN?! 330 00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:54,467 WELL... HAPPENS TO A LOT OF GUYS, KIDDO. 331 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,205 JANINE. 332 00:13:58,238 --> 00:14:01,208 WAIT A SECOND. JANINE SOLOMON? YEAH. 333 00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:03,076 WELL, THIS IS YOUR LUCKY DAY. 334 00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:05,378 UNCLE ABE TOLD ME SHE'S ADOPTED. 335 00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:07,948 ADOPTED? ARE YOU SURE? 336 00:14:07,981 --> 00:14:12,852 OH, DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HER FATHER'S LOW SPERM COUNT. 337 00:14:14,487 --> 00:14:17,224 HARRY! I COULD KISS YOU! 338 00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:19,960 HEY, SALLY, CAN I TELL YOU A SECRET? 339 00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:22,429 SURE, MISSY. OF COURSE YOU CAN. 340 00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:24,131 I'M A VIRGIN. 341 00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:25,432 WOW. I KNOW. 342 00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:28,301 REALLY? WOW. 343 00:14:28,335 --> 00:14:31,905 I REMEMBER WHAT THOSE DAYS WERE LIKE, YOU KNOW. 344 00:14:31,939 --> 00:14:35,108 FEELING LIKE I WAS THE ONLY PERSON ON EARTH WHO HADN'T HAD SEX. 345 00:14:35,142 --> 00:14:37,377 WONDERING WHAT IT WAS GONNA BE LIKE. 346 00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:38,711 WHEN DID YOU LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY? 347 00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:40,547 AH, A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO. 348 00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:45,352 WOW. 349 00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:46,920 YEAH. SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? 350 00:14:46,954 --> 00:14:50,790 I DON'T KNOW. UH, THE RIGHT GUY. 351 00:14:50,823 --> 00:14:52,459 OH, MY GOD. 352 00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:54,561 THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I DID. 353 00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:56,663 THAT IS SO COOL! 354 00:14:58,165 --> 00:14:59,799 LOOK, I'M TELLIN' YA. 355 00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:01,901 I HEARD YA. 356 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,872 FAH! YOU SHOULD BE SO LUCKY. 357 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:10,110 AH! I SHOULD LIVE SO LONG. 358 00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:11,044 BRAUGGGHH! 359 00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:12,479 YAAAH-AGGH! 360 00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:15,648 JANINE. THERE YOU ARE. 361 00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:17,150 I'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU. 362 00:15:17,184 --> 00:15:19,386 I KNOW. I'VE BEEN AVOIDING YOU. 363 00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:20,620 NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. 364 00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:24,491 SEE, IT'S OK IF WE KISS BECAUSE WE'RE NOT RELATED. 365 00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:26,059 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 366 00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:29,129 YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE YOU'RE ADOPTED. 367 00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:30,797 ADOPTED? 368 00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:32,932 [NERVOUS LAUGH] NO. NO WAY. NO, I'M NOT. 369 00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:35,268 YEAH, SURE YOU ARE. EVERYBODY KNOWS IT. 370 00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:39,672 SO, UH... YOU WANNA MAKE OUT? 371 00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:40,907 MOM! 372 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,210 YEAH. YOU JUST CONFIRM IT WITH YOUR MOTHER 373 00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:45,012 AND, UH, GET BACK TO ME. 374 00:15:50,017 --> 00:15:52,219 THEY'RE RIGHT. YOU CAN'T GO HOME AGAIN. 375 00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:54,687 SO MUCH FOR "FAMILY" AND "BROTHERHOOD" 376 00:15:54,721 --> 00:15:57,690 AND "HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS." WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! 377 00:15:57,724 --> 00:16:00,393 NOW YOU KNOW WHERE I'VE BEEN COMING FROM. 378 00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:01,961 YOU GO HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS, 379 00:16:01,995 --> 00:16:04,197 YOU SEE THAT BEAUTIFUL CHRISTMAS TREE IN THE WINDOW. 380 00:16:04,231 --> 00:16:06,599 EVERYTHING LOOKS SO IDYLLIC. 381 00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:07,967 AND ALL OF A SUDDEN THERE'S YOUR MOTHER 382 00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:09,902 SWINGING A 5-IRON AT YOUR FATHER'S HEAD, 383 00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:12,905 AND THE TREE'S IN THE EGGNOG. 384 00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:14,274 HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH IT? 385 00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:16,043 I REPRESS. 386 00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:19,346 REPRESSION IS THE KEY TO A HAPPY FAMILY. 387 00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:21,448 DOESN'T SOUND VERY HEALTHY. 388 00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:22,649 IF YOU YELL AND SCREAM, 389 00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:25,418 YOU END UP SOUNDING LIKE YOUR MOTHER. 390 00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:28,221 I'M GONNA GO GET ANOTHER DRINK. 391 00:16:28,255 --> 00:16:29,722 DIDN'T YOU JUST FINISH ONE? 392 00:16:29,756 --> 00:16:32,559 GET OFF MY BACK! 393 00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:36,529 HEY, SO, DO YOU THINK I SHOULD GO LIGHTER? 394 00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:39,132 HONEY, IF YOU DO, I WILL KILL YOU. 395 00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:40,933 MICHELLE! 396 00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:41,768 JENNY! 397 00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:43,403 [BOTH SHRIEK] 398 00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:45,205 MICHELLE? MICHELLE? 399 00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:45,872 MICHELLE! 400 00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:47,607 HUH? 401 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,209 WHO'S THAT? 402 00:16:49,242 --> 00:16:50,210 OH! OH! 403 00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:51,378 WHY, SALLY, THIS IS JENNY. 404 00:16:51,411 --> 00:16:52,479 HI, JENNY. HI. 405 00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,647 SHE'S MY SISTER. 406 00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:55,215 SISTER? 407 00:16:55,248 --> 00:16:56,316 HOW'S BOOTY? 408 00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:58,085 OH, BOOTY'S GREAT. 409 00:16:58,118 --> 00:16:59,086 WH-WHO'S BOOTY? 410 00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:01,321 HEY, DID YOU SING TO THE LAKE YET? 411 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:02,555 YOU GUYS SING TO THE LAKE? 412 00:17:02,589 --> 00:17:04,224 OH, YEAH. EVER SINCE WE WERE KIDS. 413 00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:07,660 OH, GREAT! LET'S GO DO SOME LAKE SINGIN'! 414 00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:10,797 UH, WELL, IT'S KINDA JUST BETWEEN THE TWO OF US. 415 00:17:10,830 --> 00:17:12,065 ARE YOU SURE I CAN'T HELP? 416 00:17:12,099 --> 00:17:15,568 I MEAN, THAT'S A--A BIG LAKE, 417 00:17:15,602 --> 00:17:17,937 AND I'M REAL LOUD. 418 00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:20,140 UH...IT'S OK. 419 00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:22,375 YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST THIS SORT OF STUPID SISTER THING. 420 00:17:22,409 --> 00:17:24,677 [AWKWARD LAUGH] 421 00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:36,156 ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY, 422 00:17:36,189 --> 00:17:38,057 GET READY. HERE WE GO. 423 00:17:41,161 --> 00:17:43,230 OHH! [MUTTERING] 424 00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:48,235 [SARCASTIC] THIS WAS SOME GREAT IDEA, DICK. 425 00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:50,036 YEAH, I CAN'T WAIT TO COME BACK NEXT YEAR. 426 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,639 DICK, YOU WANNA TELL YOUR FAMILY TO STOP WHINING. 427 00:17:52,672 --> 00:17:54,941 NO. JUST SMILE AND REPRESS. 428 00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:55,942 SMILE AND REPRESS. 429 00:17:55,975 --> 00:17:56,643 ALL RIGHT NOW, EVERYBODY. 430 00:17:56,676 --> 00:17:58,178 COME ON NOW, SQUEEZE TOGETHER. 431 00:17:58,211 --> 00:17:59,446 SQUEEZE TOGETHER, THAT'S GOOD. 432 00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:01,248 GOOD. HA HA. 433 00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:02,515 ALL RIGHT NOW... 434 00:18:02,549 --> 00:18:03,683 EVERYBODY... 435 00:18:03,716 --> 00:18:06,353 SMILE! 436 00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:08,755 OHH! 437 00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:11,023 I CAN'T SMILE! I HAVE NOTHING TO SMILE ABOUT! 438 00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:12,259 I HATE THIS FAMILY! 439 00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:13,693 RIGHT BACK AT YA, DICK! 440 00:18:13,726 --> 00:18:16,629 AND I SO WANTED TO BE PROUD OF YOU. 441 00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:18,398 [BITTERLY] MY FAMILY. 442 00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:21,901 YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GIVE ME WARMTH AND UNENDING LOVE. 443 00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:25,172 INSTEAD YOU GIVE ME A PUNCH IN THE GUT AND A COLD TUNA MELT! 444 00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:26,473 WELL, I'VE HAD IT! 445 00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:28,575 AND SO I TAKE MY LEAVE OF THIS HELLHOUSE 446 00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:30,009 JUST LIKE MY FATHER BEFORE ME! 447 00:18:30,042 --> 00:18:31,077 BYE-BYE NOW. 448 00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,246 I'D PACK YOU A DOGGY BAG, BUT I SAW HER 449 00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:35,715 STUFFING THE HORS D'OEUVRES INTO HER POCKETS. 450 00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:38,551 DON'T FLATTER YOURSELF. IT WAS THE SILVERWARE. 451 00:18:40,153 --> 00:18:41,688 EXCUSE ME. WEREN'T YOU LEAVING? 452 00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:43,356 OH, BELIEVE ME, WE'RE LEAVING. 453 00:18:43,390 --> 00:18:48,027 [ALL TALKING AT ONCE] 454 00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:54,066 HEY! HEY! HEY! 455 00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:57,704 WHAT THE HELL'S THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE? 456 00:18:57,737 --> 00:19:00,540 YOU KNOW WHAT? I GOT A LITTLE NEWS FLASH FOR YA. 457 00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:02,309 DICK, JACOB, 458 00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:06,078 BOTH YOUR FATHERS WERE WORLD-CLASS PAINS IN THE ASS. 459 00:19:06,112 --> 00:19:07,980 AND YOU KNOW WHAT I ADMIRE ABOUT 'EM? 460 00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:09,516 THEY'RE BOTH DEAD! 461 00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:14,521 AND RIGHT NOW, I WISH I WAS WITH 'EM. 462 00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:16,323 AMEN TO THAT! 463 00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:18,024 40 YEARS LATER, 464 00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:21,060 YOU TWO MORONS ARE STILL CARRYING ON THE SAME GRUDGE?! 465 00:19:21,093 --> 00:19:22,329 GIVE IT A REST! 466 00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:24,431 WHAT, YOU DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER? BOO-HOO! 467 00:19:24,464 --> 00:19:27,099 SUCK IT UP. YOU'RE FAMILY! 468 00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:30,270 DON'T GET ME STARTED. 469 00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:32,205 HARRY, 470 00:19:32,239 --> 00:19:34,541 YOU ARE SO RIGHT. 471 00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:37,176 THIS TIME LAST WEEK I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A FAMILY. 472 00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:40,880 AND NOW HERE I AM, READY TO REJECT YOU ALL 473 00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:43,750 JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T MEET MY STUPID EXPECTATIONS. 474 00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:46,586 YEAH, YOU GUYS HAVE BOTH GOT A POINT. 475 00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:48,187 THIS FAMILY'S BEEN SPLIT UP TOO LONG. 476 00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:51,324 IN FACT, I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHY ANYMORE. 477 00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:55,562 DICK, YOU MAY NOT BE MY KIND OF GUY, 478 00:19:55,595 --> 00:19:57,464 BUT YOU'RE A SOLOMON. 479 00:19:57,497 --> 00:20:00,567 AND THERE'S NOT MUCH I CAN DO ABOUT THAT. 480 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,034 SAME HERE, JACOB. 481 00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:05,738 YOU MAY BE KIND OF CREEPY, BUT YOU'RE FAMILY. 482 00:20:05,772 --> 00:20:07,574 COUSIN? COUSIN. 483 00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:09,342 WELL, THAT'S MORE LIKE IT. 484 00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:11,010 OH, JACOB! 485 00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:17,484 AAH! 486 00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:18,918 GET AWAY FROM ME! 487 00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:24,123 WELL, GOOD-BYE NOW, SALLY. 488 00:20:24,156 --> 00:20:26,293 BYE-BYE, JENNY. 489 00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:26,926 IT WAS REALLY GREAT MEETING YOU, SALLY. 490 00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:28,395 YEAH, YOU, TOO, MICHELLE. 491 00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:30,363 HEY... 492 00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:33,466 IF ANYTHING SHOULD HAPPEN TO JENNY... 493 00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:36,569 YOU KNOW? 494 00:20:36,603 --> 00:20:38,104 GIVE ME A CALL. 495 00:20:40,039 --> 00:20:44,277 GOOD-BYE, RICHARD. I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME. 496 00:20:44,311 --> 00:20:46,613 IT'S NICE TO BE ONE FAMILY AGAIN. 497 00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:48,180 OH, IT SURE IS. 498 00:20:48,214 --> 00:20:49,549 GOOD-BYE, SYLVIA. 499 00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:50,950 GOOD-BYE. 500 00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:52,685 YOU KNOW, MARY, 501 00:20:52,719 --> 00:20:55,388 THE GREAT THING ABOUT REDISCOVERING YOUR ROOTS IS 502 00:20:55,422 --> 00:20:58,391 YOU SUDDENLY HAVE A WHOLE NEW WORLD OF PEOPLE TO BLAME 503 00:20:58,425 --> 00:21:01,494 FOR, YOU KNOW, EVERYTHING. 504 00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:03,229 HARRY. 505 00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:04,163 ABE. 506 00:21:04,196 --> 00:21:06,198 I WANT YOU TO HAVE THESE. 507 00:21:06,232 --> 00:21:09,001 OHH, THAT'S SO NICE. 508 00:21:09,035 --> 00:21:12,138 AWW, I'M GONNA MISS YOU, UNCLE ABE. 509 00:21:12,171 --> 00:21:16,042 OH, DON'T GET ME STARTED WITH THAT EMOTIONAL CRAP. 510 00:21:16,075 --> 00:21:17,877 IT'S TOO LATE! 511 00:21:17,910 --> 00:21:20,012 I'VE ALREADY STARTED! 512 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:29,288 JANINE, HI. IT'S TOMMY. 513 00:21:29,322 --> 00:21:31,524 UH, FROM THE REUNION? 514 00:21:31,558 --> 00:21:34,060 RIGHT, YEAH, THE ONE WHO TOLD YOU YOU WERE ADOPTED, RIGHT. 515 00:21:34,093 --> 00:21:37,564 ANYWAY. SAY, UH, YOU WANNA GO OUT ON SUNDAY? 516 00:21:37,597 --> 00:21:40,367 OH, MEETING YOUR BIRTH MOTHER, HUH? 517 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:41,668 WELL, LISTEN, CAN IT WAIT? 518 00:21:41,701 --> 00:21:45,472 YOU KNOW, IT'S BEEN 16 YEARS. WHAT'S ANOTHER DAY, RIGHT? 519 00:21:45,505 --> 00:21:46,839 UH, WELL, MAYBE I COULD COME, YOU KNOW? 520 00:21:46,873 --> 00:21:49,241 WE COULD CATCH A MOVIE, SWING BY YOUR BIRTH MOM'S. 521 00:21:49,275 --> 00:21:51,344 HELLO? HELLO? HEL-- 522 00:21:51,378 --> 00:21:53,346 OH, MAN. GOT CUT OFF.