1
00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:09,277
BYE, DICK!
I'LL SEE YOU
AT THE OFFICE.

2
00:00:09,310 --> 00:00:13,514
MARY, DON'T LEAVE.
I WAS BRINGING YOU
BREAKFAST IN BED.

3
00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:15,583
THAT'S VERY SWEET,
BUT I THINK
I'LL JUST GRAB

4
00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:17,085
SOME COFFEE
AND A MUFFIN.

5
00:00:17,118 --> 00:00:18,652
OH, THAT'S OK.
BELIEVE IT OR NOT,

6
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:21,455
I JUST THREW
ALL THIS TOGETHER.

7
00:00:21,489 --> 00:00:23,023
I NEVER WOULD'VE
GUESSED.

8
00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:27,561
HEY, DICK.

9
00:00:27,595 --> 00:00:28,896
OH, YOU TWO ARE UP
BRIGHT AND EARLY.

10
00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:30,131
WE JUST GOT BACK.

11
00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:32,466
DON TOOK ME ON
AN ALL-NIGHT
STAKEOUT.

12
00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:33,634
YOU MUST BE
EXHAUSTED.

13
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:35,569
NO. WE FELL ASLEEP
AROUND 11:00.

14
00:00:35,603 --> 00:00:38,272
YEAH.

15
00:00:38,306 --> 00:00:40,374
I'M REASONABLY SURE
NOTHING WENT DOWN,
THOUGH.

16
00:00:40,408 --> 00:00:42,776
I'M A PRETTY LIGHT
SLEEPER.

17
00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:44,745
I JUST LOVE
SPENDING THE NIGHT
IN YOUR ARMS.

18
00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:46,147
OH, ME, TOO.

19
00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:54,155
HEY, I GOTTA GO
HIT THE CAN.

20
00:00:55,756 --> 00:00:58,526
TOMMY, AM I A VIRGO
OR A CAPRICORN?

21
00:00:58,559 --> 00:00:59,627
I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY?

22
00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:01,895
DOES IT MATTER?

23
00:01:01,929 --> 00:01:04,132
BECAUSE THIS HOROSCOPE
RIGHT HEEERRRRE--

24
00:01:04,165 --> 00:01:06,367
INCOMING MESSAGE FROM
THE BIG GIANT HEAD!

25
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:07,668
HEY, DICK,
GET IN HERE!

26
00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:09,637
TO ENSURE BETTER
CUSTOMER SERVICE,

27
00:01:09,670 --> 00:01:11,805
THIS TRANSMISSION
MAY BE MONITORED.

28
00:01:11,839 --> 00:01:14,242
WHAT IS IT?
THE BIG GIANT HEAD

29
00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:18,312
HAS RECEIVED
YOUR LIEUTENANT'S REQUEST
FOR GENDER REASSIGNMENT.

30
00:01:18,346 --> 00:01:21,215
SALLY SENT THAT THING
OFF, LIKE, 3 YEARS
AGO.

31
00:01:21,249 --> 00:01:24,485
THE BIG GIANT HEAD
HEREBY APPROVES
YOUR REQUEST.

32
00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:26,854
FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE,
YOUR LIEUTENANT'S BODY

33
00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:29,323
WILL BE SWITCHED
WITH THAT OF YOUR
HIGH COMMANDER.

34
00:01:29,357 --> 00:01:30,724
LIEUTENANT,
YOU GET IN HERE!

35
00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:34,128
PREPARE TO EXCHANGE FORMS
IN 3, 2, 1...

36
00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:35,796
ACHOO!
ACHOO!
ACHOO!

37
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:41,034
OH, NO...

38
00:01:41,068 --> 00:01:42,603
WHERE ARE MY BOOBS?

39
00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:47,107
I'VE GOT THEM!

40
00:01:47,141 --> 00:01:48,075
YOU'RE ME!
YOU'RE ME!

41
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:48,976
DICK?
WHAT?

42
00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:50,878
AAH!
OH, GREAT.
WHAT HAPPENED?

43
00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:53,414
THE BIG GIANT HEAD
JUST SWITCHED
THEIR BODIES.

44
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:55,216
WOW.

45
00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:59,052
OH, MY GOD!

46
00:01:59,086 --> 00:02:01,088
I'M GORGEOUS!

47
00:02:05,226 --> 00:02:06,427
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
CARSEY-WERNER PRODUCTIONS

48
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,696
AND THE NATIONAL BROADCASTING
COMPANY

49
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,895
YOUR REQUEST TO RETURN
TO YOUR ORIGINAL EARTH BODIES

50
00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:45,333
WILL BE ANSWERED IN
THE ORDER IN WHICH
IT WAS RECEIVED.

51
00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:49,136
TRANSMISSION ENDING
IN 3, 2, 1...

52
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,439
ACHOO!

53
00:02:51,472 --> 00:02:52,273
WHAT'S THE WORD?

54
00:02:52,306 --> 00:02:54,442
HE PUT US ON
THE WAITING LIST.

55
00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:55,476
DAMN!

56
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:58,279
MAN, IT TOOK HIM
3 YEARS TO ANSWER
THE FIRST ONE.

57
00:02:58,312 --> 00:03:01,715
THIS IS HORRIBLE,
JUST HORRIBLE!

58
00:03:01,749 --> 00:03:03,050
WHY, IN HEAVEN'S NAME,

59
00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:05,052
WOULD YOU PUT IN
A REQUEST TO
SWITCH BODIES?

60
00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:06,420
LIEUTENANT, WHAT
WERE YOU THINKING?

61
00:03:06,454 --> 00:03:09,089
WHEN WE FIRST GOT HERE,
I DIDN'T WANT TO BE
THE WOMAN,

62
00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:10,224
BUT THAT WAS
A LONG TIME AGO

63
00:03:10,258 --> 00:03:14,061
BEFORE I REALIZED
HOW MUCH I LIKE MEN.

64
00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:16,129
WELL, I CANNOT BE STUCK
IN A WOMAN'S BODY.

65
00:03:16,163 --> 00:03:18,632
DAMMIT! I'M
THE HIGH COMMANDER!

66
00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:21,569
[CRYING] WHAT ARE WE
GONNA DO, DICK?

67
00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:23,771
PULL YOURSELF
TOGETHER, MAN!

68
00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:25,406
I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO.

69
00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:26,840
WE'RE GONNA LIVE
EACH OTHER'S LIVES

70
00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:28,175
AS NORMALLY
AS POSSIBLE

71
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,743
UNTIL
THE BIG GIANT HEAD
GETS BACK TO US.

72
00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:32,045
OH, GREAT!

73
00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:33,781
OHH!

74
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,753
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED
TO DO WITH YOUR...

75
00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:42,456
YOU KNOW, GOODS?

76
00:03:42,490 --> 00:03:43,824
JUST PICK A SIDE
AND COMMIT.

77
00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:46,159
YUP. TILL YOU LEARN
THE INS AND OUTS,

78
00:03:46,193 --> 00:03:48,729
YOU MIGHT WANNA CONSIDER
WEARING A CUP.

79
00:03:48,762 --> 00:03:49,897
THIS IS SO WEIRD.

80
00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:51,532
OH,
STOP COMPLAINING.

81
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:52,900
LOOK AT THESE
WILLOWY LIMBS.

82
00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:53,834
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
TO DO WITH THEM.

83
00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:55,969
MY CENTER
OF GRAVITY'S
SO LOW,

84
00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:57,971
AND WOULD YOU LOOK
AT THESE BREASTS!

85
00:03:58,005 --> 00:03:59,873
HEY, DICK,
CAN WE TOUCH 'EM?

86
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,675
BE MY GUEST.
THEY'RE NOT MINE.

87
00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:03,210
HEY!

88
00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:11,184
SO HELP ME GOD,
IF YOU TOUCH THOSE,
YOU WILL DIE.

89
00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:18,359
ALL RIGHT,
SETTLE DOWN, SETTLE DOWN.

90
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:20,461
[CHATTER CONTINUES]

91
00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:21,862
ALL RIGHT,
EVERYBODY SHUT UP

92
00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:23,697
BEFORE I THROW YOU OUT
THE FREAKIN' WINDOW!

93
00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:28,636
SO, WHAT ARE
WE DOING HERE?

94
00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:30,671
SURFACE TENSION
AND LIQUIDITY.

95
00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:31,439
I HAVE A QUESTION
FOR YOU--

96
00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:33,907
WHERE'D YOU GET
THOSE SHOES?

97
00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:34,875
PICK-AND-PAY.

98
00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:37,978
OH, I LOVE THAT PLACE.
IT'S SO COOL!

99
00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:40,881
HAS ANYBODY ELSE HERE
BEEN TO PIC-AND-PAY?
IT'S SO AWESOME.

100
00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:43,116
YEAH. I GOT
SOME WOOL PANTS
THERE, HALF OFF.

101
00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:45,886
YOU DID?
YEAH, BUT THEY
WEREN'T MY SIZE,

102
00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:50,223
AND THEY DIDN'T
HAVE A LINING, AND I'M
WEARING THEM RIGHT NOW.

103
00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:51,925
SEE WHAT I MEAN?

104
00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:54,728
OK...SO, UH...
WE GOT, UH...

105
00:04:54,762 --> 00:05:01,301
VALUE...AND...
SELECTION.

106
00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:03,036
THIS IS WHAT WE'RE
LOOKING FOR HERE.

107
00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:10,077
WELL, I'M OFF
TO CABO SAN LUCAS.

108
00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:11,845
YOU HAVE FUN, DOUG,

109
00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:12,946
AND DON'T YOU WORRY
ABOUT NOTHIN'

110
00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:16,249
BUT THE SEÑORITAS
AND THE MARGARITAS, OK?

111
00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:19,152
BECAUSE HARRY'S
HOLDING DOWN THE FORT.

112
00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:20,788
WHAT THE HELL.

113
00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:24,392
YOU'RE IN CHARGE
OF THE BAR.
YUP.

114
00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:26,927
DOUG'S NOT
TOO BRIGHT, IS HE?
NOT PARTICULARLY, NO.

115
00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:35,636
MAN, THOSE GUYS
LOOK LIKE BADASSES.

116
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:36,470
YOU THINK?

117
00:05:36,504 --> 00:05:37,438
YEAH. LOOK
AT 'EM, MAN.

118
00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:40,974
THEY ARE CLEARLY
BAD ASSES.

119
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:43,477
WELL, JUST ONE WAY
TO FIND OUT.

120
00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:50,984
EXCUSE ME, ARE YOU
AND YOUR FRIENDS
HERE BADASSES?

121
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:53,387
HEH HEH HEH...
WE'LL HAVE 3 BEERS.

122
00:05:53,421 --> 00:05:55,456
HA HA HA!

123
00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:57,758
OH, MAN,
THEY'RE BADASSES.

124
00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:00,694
[HONK HONK]

125
00:06:00,728 --> 00:06:05,399
OH, YES, THE HONKING
DRIVES ME MAD
WITH DESIRE!

126
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:09,503
AH, YOU'VE NOTICED
I HAVE BREASTS.
GOOD FOR YOU.

127
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:16,276
DON LEFT THIS
IN OUR BATHROOM.

128
00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:18,211
HEY, SALLY,
YOU LOOK NICE.

129
00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:22,182
WHY, THANK YOU.
YOU'VE GOT ME
ALL HOT NOW.

130
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:23,584
I'D JUMP RIGHT INTO BED
WITH YOU,

131
00:06:23,617 --> 00:06:25,586
BUT YOU'LL
HAVE TO GET IN LINE BEHIND
2 CONSTRUCTION WORKERS,

132
00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:29,523
A MAILMAN,
AND A 12-YEAR-OLD BOY.

133
00:06:29,557 --> 00:06:30,624
SORRY.

134
00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:32,826
SALLY, HE WAS
JUST PAYING YOU AN
INNOCENT COMPLIMENT.

135
00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:35,062
I'M QUITE AWARE
OF HOW SEXUALLY
ATTRACTIVE I AM.

136
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:37,030
I GET IT.
NOW LET'S MOVE ON.

137
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,766
SALLY, PLEASE,
CALM DOWN.

138
00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:43,170
WHAT IS THAT,
SOME SORT OF
MENSTRUATION CRACK?

139
00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:46,707
WELL, I'VE GOT
A NEWS FLASH FOR
YOU, DON ORVILLE,

140
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,976
AND FOR ALL THE MEN
OF RUTHERFORD.

141
00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:53,814
BENEATH THIS PRETTY PACKAGE
IS A MIND!

142
00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:56,550
DO YOU HEAR ME?
A MIND!

143
00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:02,656
OH, HEY, NINA.

144
00:07:02,690 --> 00:07:04,324
YOU WENT TO
PIC-AND-PAY?

145
00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:06,727
YEAH.

146
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:10,230
I COULDN'T FIND
ANYTHING EXCEPT
THESE STUPID WINGTIPS.

147
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:11,565
THEY'RE NOT EVEN
PATENT LEATHER.

148
00:07:11,599 --> 00:07:15,335
MEN'S SHOES SUCK!

149
00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:16,870
WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD.

150
00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:19,973
MY FEET ARE HUGE.
I'M DISGUSTING.

151
00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:22,610
OK.

152
00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:26,614
THERE YOU ARE.
WHERE WERE YOU?

153
00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:27,848
OH, HEY, ALBRIGHT.

154
00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:30,183
YOU WERE SUPPOSED
TO MEET ME FOR LUNCH!

155
00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:34,321
I'M HAVING A BAD DAY.
YOU WANNA LAY OFF?!

156
00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:37,925
I WAS WAITING
AT THE BAGUETTE
FOR OVER AN HOUR.

157
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,627
YEAH? WELL,
I WAS TEACHING
THAT HORRIBLE CLASS,

158
00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:42,730
AND I COULDN'T TAKE IT,
SO I WENT TO GET SOME SHOES,

159
00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:44,064
AND I COULDN'T FIND
ANYTHING I LIKED,

160
00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:50,403
[CRYING] AND THEN I
CAME BACK HERE, AND YOU
STARTED YELLING AT ME!

161
00:07:50,437 --> 00:07:53,140
I'M SORRY, DICK,
BUT I WAS WAITING
AN HOUR.

162
00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:54,808
I CAN'T BREATHE.

163
00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:58,178
ARE YOU OK?

164
00:07:58,211 --> 00:08:00,881
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH.

165
00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:04,484
I MEAN,
JUST LOOK AT THESE!

166
00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:05,819
I'M HERE TO HELP.

167
00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:07,888
YOU CAN'T HELP.
NOBODY CAN HELP.

168
00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:09,923
I FEEL SO TRAPPED.

169
00:08:15,563 --> 00:08:19,032
[ LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE BOY
PLAYING]

170
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,509
WHOO, SALLY...
LOOKIN' HOT, MAN!

171
00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:33,113
YEAH! WALK
THAT AROUND!

172
00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:36,850
LAY OFF, BUTTHEADS!
I'M HAVING A CRAPPY DAY.

173
00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:38,986
I CAN TAKE THE UGLY SHOES,
I CAN TAKE THE STUPID JOB,

174
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:42,856
BUT I'LL BE DAMNED IF
I'M GONNA WALK AROUND
WITH LOVE HANDLES!

175
00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:44,692
ARE YOU WEARING
LIP GLOSS?

176
00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:49,062
IT'S NOT A GLOSS.
IT'S A SHINY BALM.

177
00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:50,964
DICK IS REALLY NEGLECTING
HIS LIPS.

178
00:08:56,704 --> 00:08:59,339
HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING
TO MY BODY, YOU MORON?

179
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:02,409
YOU'RE GONNA GET IT
FAT AND STRETCHED OUT!

180
00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:04,377
LIEUTENANT,
I ALWAYS EAT THIS WAY.

181
00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:05,312
WELL, YOU
CAN'T ANYMORE.

182
00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:07,014
YOU'LL NEVER KEEP
A BOYFRIEND.

183
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:09,082
AHA! SPEAKING
OF BOYFRIENDS--

184
00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:11,284
I'VE DECIDED THAT DON
IS NO GENTLEMAN.

185
00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:14,054
I THINK IT'S TIME
YOU MOVED ON.

186
00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:14,855
YOU BETTER
NOT MESS UP

187
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:16,089
MY RELATIONSHIP
WITH DON.

188
00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:16,757
OH, PLEASE.

189
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:19,192
OH, YOU ARE
SUCH A BONEHEAD!

190
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:21,995
AFTER I TRIED SO HARD
NOT TO BLOW THINGS
WITH ALBRIGHT.

191
00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:30,303
"TRIED"?
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
WHAT HAPPENED?

192
00:09:30,337 --> 00:09:32,640
NOTHING.

193
00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:35,408
TELL ME, DAMMIT!

194
00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:36,576
WELL,
I GOT BUMMED OUT

195
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:41,048
WHEN I COULDN'T FIND
NICE SHOES FOR YOUR
BIG, FAT FEET!

196
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:44,017
AND I MAY HAVE
GOTTEN A LITTLE...
WEEPY.

197
00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:45,919
THANK YOU SO MUCH.

198
00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:49,990
NOW SHE THINKS
I'M SOME HYSTERICAL,
SHOE-LOVING WUSSY!

199
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:52,325
YOU'RE WORRIED
ABOUT GETTING FAT?
JUST WATCH THIS.

200
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:55,696
GIVE ME THAT SANDWICH,
YOU HORRIBLE MAN!

201
00:09:55,729 --> 00:09:58,231
HEY, HEY, HEY!
LET'S CHILL!

202
00:09:58,265 --> 00:09:59,599
HOW CAN I CHILL?

203
00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:01,268
HE'S SCREWING UP
EVERYTHING WITH DON!

204
00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:04,037
[MUFFLED] SHE'S SCREWING UP
MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MARY!

205
00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:07,641
OH, PEOPLE,
PEOPLE, PEOPLE!

206
00:10:07,675 --> 00:10:11,311
LOOK...YOU GUYS
HAVE GOT TO GET
OVER THIS!

207
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:12,412
WHEN WE LANDED
ON EARTH,

208
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:15,148
WE HAD NO ATTACHMENT
TO THESE BODIES,
BUT WE ADAPTED.

209
00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:16,750
WE FIGURED OUT HOW
TO WORK WITH THEM.

210
00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:18,118
YOU DON'T
UNDERSTAND,
TOMMY.

211
00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:21,121
I LIKE BEING
THE WOMAN.

212
00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:23,356
WHO CARES IF YOU
ONLY EARN 60 CENTS
ON THE DOLLAR

213
00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:26,894
IF YOU CAN HAVE
SKIN LIKE THAT?

214
00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:28,729
MARY DOESN'T LIKE
YOUR SKIN.

215
00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:31,098
SHE LIKES MY SKIN!

216
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,033
NOW YOU LISTEN
TO ME, DICK--

217
00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:33,801
I'M SALLY!

218
00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:37,004
I DON'T GIVE A DAMN
WHO YOU ARE!

219
00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:38,471
IF YOU DON'T START
WORKING TOGETHER,

220
00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:40,674
YOU'RE GONNA LOSE
DON | MARY.

221
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:50,583
YOU'RE RIGHT.

222
00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:56,389
TRUCE.

223
00:10:56,423 --> 00:10:57,725
ALL RIGHT,
TRUCE.

224
00:10:57,758 --> 00:11:00,227
THAT'S BETTER.

225
00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:05,398
NOT WITH
THAT SANDWICH,
YOU DON'T!

226
00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:12,706
WHERE ARE THEY?

227
00:11:12,740 --> 00:11:15,375
RIGHT THERE.
GO CUFF 'EM, DON.

228
00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:17,577
UH...WHAT FOR?

229
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:20,480
THAT GUY OVER THERE,
HE KEEPS ORDERING DRINKS.

230
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,182
AND TALKING.

231
00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:25,218
AND THAT OTHER GUY
KEEPS LAUGHING
AT SOMETHING.

232
00:11:25,252 --> 00:11:29,056
DRINKING, TALKING,
LAUGHING IN A BAR.

233
00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:30,057
NO LAW AGAINST THAT.

234
00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:32,425
HEY, WE PAY TAXES.
HOW LONG IS THIS
GONNA GO ON

235
00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:34,261
BEFORE THE POLICE
DO SOMETHING?

236
00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:35,262
THIS IS TYPICAL.

237
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:40,400
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
GO EAT ANOTHER
DOUGHNUT, DON!

238
00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:43,136
I'D LIKE TO HELP
YOU OUT, GUYS, BUT...

239
00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:44,772
SALLY.

240
00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:46,206
DON.

241
00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:49,609
DICK!

242
00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:51,378
I'M GLAD YOU'RE
HERE, DON.

243
00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:53,380
I HAD TO TALK
TO YOU.

244
00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:55,482
IT'S ABOUT SALLY.

245
00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:56,349
THAT'S FINE, DICK,

246
00:11:56,383 --> 00:12:00,020
BUT COULD YOU BACK UP
ABOUT 4 INCHES?

247
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,755
OH, YEAH, SORRY.
YOU WANNA SIT DOWN?

248
00:12:01,789 --> 00:12:03,056
YEAH, SURE.

249
00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:12,065
I'D LIKE TO
APOLOGIZE FOR SALLY
THE OTHER DAY.

250
00:12:12,099 --> 00:12:14,234
SHE JUST FEELS
TERRIBLE ABOUT
THE WAY SHE ACTED.

251
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:15,869
YEAH, IT WAS STRANGE.

252
00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:17,938
SALLY REALLY WANTS
TO MAKE IT UP
TO YOU, DON.

253
00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:19,907
THAT'S WHY I'D
LIKE TO INVITE
YOU AND SALLY

254
00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:23,243
OUT TO DINNER WITH
ME AND MY GIRLFRIEND
ALBRIGHT.

255
00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:25,979
WOULD YOU COME, DON?

256
00:12:26,013 --> 00:12:27,180
WOULD YOU?

257
00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:31,518
SURE.

258
00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:33,520
OH, GOOD.
I WAS WORRIED YOU
WERE UPSET WITH ME.

259
00:12:33,553 --> 00:12:36,023
HEY, YOU WANNA
WATCH IT?!
EXCUSE ME.

260
00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:37,690
YEAH, YOU BETTER
EXCUSE YOU, BOZO!

261
00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:38,758
MY BOYFRIEND HERE'S
A COP.

262
00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:40,193
DICK!

263
00:12:44,031 --> 00:12:45,698
I SAID, MY SISTER'S
BOYFRIEND.

264
00:12:45,732 --> 00:12:47,835
I THINK
EVERYBODY HEARD THAT.

265
00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:53,206
SALLY, I THOUGHT
I HEARD YOU.

266
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,275
MARY, YOU LOOK
PRETTY TODAY.

267
00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:56,543
OH, THANKS.
SO DO YOU.

268
00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:58,745
VERY PRETTY.
THANKS.

269
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:02,049
LOOK, I TRIED
TO CALL DICK.
IS HE ALL RIGHT?

270
00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:04,751
THAT'S WHAT I CAME
HERE TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT, MARY.

271
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:07,220
UH, PLEASE,
SIT DOWN.

272
00:13:07,254 --> 00:13:09,389
DICK IS FINE.
I KNEW YOU THOUGHT

273
00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:12,259
HE WAS HAVING
A BREAKDOWN,
BUT HE WASN'T.

274
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:14,694
HE JUST SEEMED
SO FRAGILE.

275
00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:15,929
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

276
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,103
HE'S LETTING
YOU IN, MARY.

277
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:25,572
THAT'S HIS WAY.

278
00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:27,975
OR PERHAPS IT WAS
PERFORMANCE ART.

279
00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:30,410
THAT'S ANOTHER
PERFECTLY REASONABLE
EXPLANATION.

280
00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:36,049
YEAH. UH, JUST--

281
00:13:36,083 --> 00:13:39,086
JUST TELL HIM THAT
HE CAN TALK TO ME.

282
00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:42,222
NO MATTER WHAT
IS BOTHERING HIM,
HE CAN TALK TO ME

283
00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:44,457
BECAUSE...
I LOVE HIM.

284
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:48,461
OH!

285
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:50,397
OH, MARY!

286
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:53,166
SAY IT AGAIN.

287
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,834
NO.

288
00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:02,309
HARRY, YOU BEEN
SHAKING THAT THING
FOR OVER AN HOUR.

289
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,143
HAVE I?

290
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:05,578
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
POUR IT ALREADY?

291
00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:09,182
'CAUSE IF I POUR IT,
I GOTS TO SERVE IT.

292
00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:10,984
WHAT ARE YOU
SO WORRIED ABOUT?

293
00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:14,254
THOSE GUYS?
DON'T LOOK
AT 'EM!

294
00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:17,958
YOU CAN'T
JUDGE PEOPLE BY
THE WAY THEY LOOK.

295
00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:22,029
THOSE GUYS
ARE JUST A BUNCH
OF PUSSYCATS.

296
00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:23,263
WATCH ME, BOYS.

297
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:25,665
DON'T GO OVER THERE.

298
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:29,369
HI, BOYS.
IS THIS SEAT TAKEN?

299
00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:30,603
IT IS NOW.

300
00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:34,975
OH...NOW, WHICH ONE
OF YOU BIG FELLAS IS
GONNA BUY ME A BEER?

301
00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:37,644
I WILL. HOW ABOUT A BEER
FOR THE PRETTY LADY?

302
00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:43,416
OH, YOU'RE WHAT
I LIKE TO CALL...
BURLY.

303
00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:45,852
LOOK AT HER.
SHE SURVIVED.

304
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,854
THOSE GUYS
ARE NICE GUYS
AFTER ALL.

305
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,689
MAN, WE'RE IDIOTS.

306
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:54,027
OH, I FEEL TERRIBLE.
COME ON.

307
00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:57,697
GUYS, I THINK WE
OWE YOU AN APOLOGY.

308
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:58,865
FOR WHAT?

309
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,033
WELL, ALL THIS TIME,

310
00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:02,069
WE THOUGHT YOU WERE
UP TO NO GOOD.

311
00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:02,936
CRIMINAL TYPES.

312
00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:05,438
LOOKING FOR TROUBLE.
CASING THE JOINT...

313
00:15:05,472 --> 00:15:07,007
BUT NOW WE SEE
HOW WRONG WE WERE,

314
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:10,643
SO HOW CAN WE MAKE
THIS UP TO YOU?

315
00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:12,980
WE NEED SOME
MORE PRETZELS.
OK.

316
00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:13,913
AND WHILE
YOU'RE AT IT,

317
00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:17,384
WHY DON'T YOU
EMPTY OUT THE
CASH REGISTER?

318
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:21,288
NOW.

319
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:24,691
YEAH!
YEAH!

320
00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:25,959
DID I NOT
TELL YOU?

321
00:15:25,993 --> 00:15:27,927
YOU DIDN'T NEED
TO TELL ME, MAN.
I KNEW!

322
00:15:27,961 --> 00:15:29,796
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
JUST A SECOND.

323
00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:30,897
WE SAW THIS COMING.

324
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,332
MILES AWAY,
BROTHER!

325
00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:33,266
THE CASH
REGISTER.

326
00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:34,734
OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

327
00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:40,873
SO, ALBRIGHT--

328
00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:43,443
MARY...WHAT'RE YOU
GONNA ORDER?

329
00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:46,646
WELL,
THE STEAK TARTARE
LOOKS GOOD.

330
00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:48,681
THINK I'LL ORDER IT
WELL DONE.

331
00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:50,050
HA HA HA HA!

332
00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:52,485
HA HA HA HA!

333
00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:55,055
OH, THAT'S FUNNY.
YOU'RE FUNNY.

334
00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:59,926
THAT'S REALLY
DESIRABLE IN A WOMAN.
CONGRATULATIONS.

335
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,595
WELL, PARDON ME.
I'LL BE IN THE
LITTLE BOYS' ROOM.

336
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:05,132
OH, I'LL GO WITH YOU!
THIS'LL BE FUN!

337
00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:12,672
ARE YOU SURE
YOUR BROTHER'S
ALL RIGHT?

338
00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:15,475
ALL RIGHT?
OH, MARY, HE'S GREAT.

339
00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:17,944
AND SO GOOD-LOOKING,
DON'T YOU THINK?

340
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,946
WELL, HE DOES
SEEM TO BE IN
BETTER SPIRITS,

341
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:23,416
BUT HE STILL SEEMS
SO DISTANT.

342
00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:26,119
HE DOESN'T LOOK
AT ME THE WAY
HE USED...TO.

343
00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:31,291
AND HOW DID HE
USED TO LOOK
AT YOU, MARY?

344
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:37,897
KINDA LIKE YOU'RE
LOOKING AT ME NOW.

345
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,335
TIME TO PUT OUT
THE FIRE.

346
00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:58,118
KEEP YOUR EYE ON
THE ROAD, DICK.

347
00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:02,155
SO WHAT'S
BOTHERING SALLY?

348
00:17:02,189 --> 00:17:04,191
IS SHE STILL
IN A MOOD?

349
00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:06,293
SHE LOOKS PRETTY HOT
TO ME.

350
00:17:06,326 --> 00:17:07,727
SHE ALWAYS
LOOKS HOT,

351
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:10,330
BUT YOU SAID SHE
WAS INTERESTED IN
SEEING ME TONIGHT.

352
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:13,600
SHE SEEMS
TO BE PAYING MORE
ATTENTION TO MARY.

353
00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:16,469
BUT YOU STILL LOVE HER...
RIGHT, DON?

354
00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:18,971
OF COURSE I DO.
I'M CRAZY ABOUT HER.

355
00:17:19,005 --> 00:17:20,140
AH...

356
00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:21,841
OH, GOODY.

357
00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:33,720
SALLY, WE'RE IN TROUBLE.
YOU'VE GOT TO KISS MARY.

358
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:34,821
WHAT?

359
00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:36,289
SHE KNOWS
SOMETHING'S WRONG.
YOU'VE GOT TO KISS HER.

360
00:17:36,323 --> 00:17:37,357
NOT GONNA
HAPPEN, DICK.

361
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,359
PUT ME DOWN FOR
A HUG AND A HANDSHAKE,
THAT'S IT.

362
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,294
HEY, WE'RE IN
THIS TOGETHER.

363
00:17:41,328 --> 00:17:42,929
NOW, I WANT
YOUR LIPS ON
HER LIPS,

364
00:17:42,962 --> 00:17:45,632
AND THAT'S
AN ORDER,
LIEUTENANT!

365
00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:50,637
HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT
THAT DICK MIGHT BE
A LITTLE...CONFUSED?

366
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:52,705
LET'S TALK ABOUT SALLY
FOR A MINUTE.

367
00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:54,807
SHE IS STALKING ME.

368
00:17:56,343 --> 00:17:59,679
SO, HOW'S
EVERYBODY DOING?

369
00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:02,582
GREAT. UH, NOW...

370
00:18:02,615 --> 00:18:06,085
YOU KNOW, MARY,
DICK WAS JUST SAYING

371
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:09,389
HOW DIFFICULT IT
IS FOR HIM TO SIT
NEXT TO YOU

372
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:12,024
WITHOUT SHOWERING YOU
WITH KISSES.

373
00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:14,761
NO, I WASN'T.

374
00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:17,197
YES, YOU WERE.
YOU WERE SAYING
HOW UNBEARABLE

375
00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:21,701
IT IS TO SIT NEXT TO HER
WITHOUT KISSING HER
THIS VERY MOMENT.

376
00:18:21,734 --> 00:18:23,870
REALLY?
YOU SAID THAT?

377
00:18:23,903 --> 00:18:26,473
WELL, YES,
AFTER SHE TOLD ME

378
00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:28,475
THAT IT'S TAKING
ALL HER STRENGTH

379
00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:31,978
TO KEEP HER LIPS...
OFF DON.

380
00:18:36,048 --> 00:18:39,952
ALL RIGHT...
I GUESS THAT'S FAIR.

381
00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:02,809
THAT'S MORE TONGUE
THAN I'M USED TO.

382
00:19:08,215 --> 00:19:10,082
WELL, DICK, WE
PULLED IT OFF.

383
00:19:10,116 --> 00:19:11,818
TO A JOB WELL DONE,
LIEUTENANT.

384
00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:17,023
AHH. SO, HOW'D YOU
GET OUT OF GOING
HOME WITH DON?

385
00:19:17,056 --> 00:19:18,691
I TOLD HIM I HAD
A HEADACHE.

386
00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:20,393
OH, THAT IS SO COOL.

387
00:19:20,427 --> 00:19:23,062
I TOLD ALBRIGHT
I HAD PSORIASIS.

388
00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:28,134
IF WE ARE DOOMED
TO STAY IN THESE BODIES
FOR A WHILE,

389
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:31,404
I SUPPOSE
IT COULD BE WORSE.

390
00:19:31,438 --> 00:19:32,439
DON IS KIND OF CUDDLY.

391
00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:34,641
MM. AND MARY'S
MUTUAL FUNDS

392
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:39,011
HAVE OUTPERFORMED
THE SandP FOR THE
LAST 4 QUARTERS.

393
00:19:39,045 --> 00:19:41,648
WELL, LET'S HAVE
A TOAST, SHALL WE?

394
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:46,519
TO NEWWWWWW--
INCOMING MESSAGE FROM
THE BIG GIANT HEAD.

395
00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:48,621
YOUR REQUEST
HAS BEEN APPROVED.

396
00:19:48,655 --> 00:19:51,123
YOUR LIEUTENANT
AND HIGH COMMANDER
WILL BE RESTORED

397
00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:53,860
TO THEIR PREVIOUS
EARTH BODIES IMMEDIATELY,

398
00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:58,097
AND A SMALL FEE WILL APPEAR
ON YOUR NEXT STATEMENT.

399
00:19:58,130 --> 00:20:01,234
TRANSMISSION ENDING
IN 3, 2, 1...

400
00:20:01,268 --> 00:20:02,068
ACHOO!
ACHOO!
ACHOO!

401
00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:10,810
DICK?

402
00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:12,512
SALLY?

403
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:14,881
WE'RE BACK!
WE'RE BACK!

404
00:20:16,916 --> 00:20:21,854
ISN'T THAT GREAT,
TOMMY?

405
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:25,525
OH, ISN'T THAT
COOL, TOMMY?

406
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:28,628
TOMMY?
I'M NOT TOMMY.

407
00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:31,331
OH, MY GOD!

408
00:20:31,364 --> 00:20:33,400
AH, I'M JUST
SCREWIN' WITH YOU.

409
00:20:38,505 --> 00:20:40,573
I LEARNED ONE THING
FROM THOSE TOUGH GUYS
AT THE BAR.

410
00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:42,975
YOU KNOW HOW THEY SAY
YOU CAN'T JUDGE A BOOK
BY ITS COVER?

411
00:20:43,009 --> 00:20:43,976
IT'S A BIG LIE.

412
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:46,913
MM, TRUE. THAT'S
WHAT THE COVER'S FOR--

413
00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:48,548
TELLS YOU EXACTLY
WHAT'S IN THE BOOK.

414
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,817
YEAH. FROM NOW ON,
I LOOK AT PEOPLE,

415
00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:53,019
MAKE SNAP JUDGMENTS,
AND STICK WITH 'EM.

416
00:20:53,052 --> 00:20:54,554
BUT IT'S NOT TRUE.

417
00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:57,690
I JUST SPENT 2 DAYS
IN SALLY'S BODY,

418
00:20:57,724 --> 00:20:59,258
AND PEOPLE MADE
ALL SORTS OF
ASSUMPTIONS

419
00:20:59,292 --> 00:21:00,593
BASED ON
HOW I LOOKED.

420
00:21:00,627 --> 00:21:02,395
AND IT WAS STILL
ME INSIDE.

421
00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:05,565
YEAH. WELL, THIS BODY
TOOK SOME GETTING
USED TO AT FIRST,

422
00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:07,634
BUT NOW IT FEELS
LIKE HOME.

423
00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:09,769
WELL, I'M GLAD TO BE
BACK IN MY BODY.

424
00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:12,071
AND YOU KNOW, SALLY,
I WAS MAD AT FIRST,

425
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,974
BUT NOW I
REALLY DON'T MIND
THE SHAVED LEGS.

426
00:21:18,077 --> 00:21:19,812
YOU KNOW, I DID
YOUR BUTT, TOO.

427
00:21:19,846 --> 00:21:28,220
OH, DON'T THINK
I DIDN'T NOTICE.

428
00:21:28,254 --> 00:21:30,189
OH DICK, HAVE YOU SEEN
MY SWEATER?

429
00:21:30,222 --> 00:21:31,624
UH, NO

430
00:21:31,658 --> 00:21:33,893
IT'S THE PINK ONE WITH THE
LITTLE WHITE BOW.

431
00:21:33,926 --> 00:21:35,127
IT DOESN'T RING A BELL.

432
00:21:35,161 --> 00:21:36,596
WAIT A MINUTE

433
00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:37,564
OPEN YOUR COAT

434
00:21:37,597 --> 00:21:38,998
SALLY I DON'T HAVE TIME
FOR THIS NONSENSE

435
00:21:39,031 --> 00:21:41,100
I'VE GOT TO GET TO WORK

436
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:43,035
AHA!

437
00:21:43,069 --> 00:21:45,505
WELL IT FEELS SO SOFT
AGAINST MY SKIN

438
00:21:45,538 --> 00:21:47,407
AND THEY DON'T MAKE
ANGORA FOR MEN

439
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:48,908
BESIDES I LOOK MUCH
CUTER IN IT

440
00:21:48,941 --> 00:21:50,176
THAN YOU DO

441
00:21:50,209 --> 00:21:51,143
TAKE IT OFF

442
00:21:51,177 --> 00:21:52,545
I'LL GIVE YOU TEN BUCKS FOR IT

443
00:21:52,579 --> 00:21:53,946
TWENTY.

444
00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:55,014
DEAL,