1
00:00:02,320 --> 00:00:05,030
(dramatic music)

2
00:00:23,750 --> 00:00:26,720
(suspenseful music)

3
00:02:46,730 --> 00:02:49,480
(thunder rumbles)

4
00:02:51,650 --> 00:02:54,110
(eerie music)

5
00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:17,700
- Do you think they'll come, sir?

6
00:04:17,700 --> 00:04:20,700
- [Lionel] oh, they'll come,
they'll come all right.

7
00:04:20,700 --> 00:04:22,660
Here, stamp those and mail them.

8
00:04:24,410 --> 00:04:27,460
(light bouncy music)

9
00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:56,320
(eerie music)

10
00:05:02,780 --> 00:05:03,580
- It's ringing.

11
00:05:05,290 --> 00:05:06,580
Dear, would you walk Myron the other way.

12
00:05:06,580 --> 00:05:08,790
My leg tends to look
like a tree in this fog.

13
00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:15,500
- What a God forsaken spot to get lost.

14
00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:18,470
- True, I saw a much better
spot a few miles back.

15
00:05:19,670 --> 00:05:24,600
(phone rings)
(suspenseful music)

16
00:05:31,310 --> 00:05:34,610
Hello?

17
00:05:35,650 --> 00:05:36,820
- Good.
- Hello?

18
00:05:36,820 --> 00:05:39,900
- Tell them we're lost.
(phone rings)

19
00:05:41,530 --> 00:05:44,490
(suspenseful music)

20
00:05:45,830 --> 00:05:46,740
- Nobody answered, the phone went dead.

21
00:05:46,740 --> 00:05:48,580
- [Dora] Then why did you say hello?

22
00:05:48,580 --> 00:05:49,960
- Funny, I could have sworn...

23
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:50,960
- [Dora] what, Dicky?

24
00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:53,380
- Sounded as though
somebody snipped the wire.

25
00:05:53,380 --> 00:05:55,670
- Really, what did it sound like?

26
00:05:57,050 --> 00:05:57,840
- Snip.

27
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:04,680
(suspenseful music)

28
00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:06,220
- [willie] some bog, eh, Pop?

29
00:06:06,220 --> 00:06:08,470
- [Wang] I've already
heard the weather report,

30
00:06:08,470 --> 00:06:10,270
and drive please.

31
00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:12,560
- Boy, it's as thick as pea soup.

32
00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:14,940
Not a soul around for miles.

33
00:06:14,940 --> 00:06:16,150
Know what I think, Pop?

34
00:06:16,150 --> 00:06:18,230
Perfect place for a murder.

35
00:06:18,230 --> 00:06:22,400
- Conversation like
television set on honeymoon.

36
00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:23,200
Unnecessary.

37
00:06:24,780 --> 00:06:27,740
(suspenseful music)

38
00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:01,320
- [willie] Hey, where
we going anyway, Pop?

39
00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:02,900
And who is this Mr. Twain who invited

40
00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:03,900
you for the weekend?

41
00:07:03,900 --> 00:07:05,820
And what did he mean
by dinner and a murder?

42
00:07:05,820 --> 00:07:09,120
- Questions are like athletes foot.

43
00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:11,830
After a while, very irritating.

44
00:07:13,580 --> 00:07:14,870
(dog barking)

45
00:07:14,870 --> 00:07:16,170
To stop car, please.

46
00:07:16,170 --> 00:07:17,000
- What's wrong?

47
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:18,710
- Stop car please.

48
00:07:18,710 --> 00:07:21,840
(dog howls)
(suspenseful music)

49
00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:23,170
To shut engine off, please.

50
00:07:25,590 --> 00:07:26,380
Listen.

51
00:07:28,090 --> 00:07:30,310
- [willie] I don't hear
nothing, what do you hear?

52
00:07:30,310 --> 00:07:32,560
- [Wang] Double negative and dog.

53
00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:34,600
- [willie] so it's a dog, so what?

54
00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,940
- If I'm not mistaken, dog belong

55
00:07:36,940 --> 00:07:38,900
to Mr. Dick Charleston.

56
00:07:38,900 --> 00:07:40,270
- Who's Dick Charleston?

57
00:07:40,270 --> 00:07:41,190
- I am, thank you.

58
00:07:41,190 --> 00:07:42,230
I say, you don't happen to have seen

59
00:07:42,230 --> 00:07:43,110
a little white...

60
00:07:44,190 --> 00:07:45,150
Wang.

61
00:07:45,150 --> 00:07:46,570
- A white Wang?

62
00:07:46,570 --> 00:07:48,660
- Good heavens, Sidney Wang.

63
00:07:48,660 --> 00:07:50,450
What are you doing in
this godforsaken spot.

64
00:07:50,450 --> 00:07:52,490
- No doubt, same as you.

65
00:07:52,490 --> 00:07:55,580
Looking for bridge that
lead to home of host,

66
00:07:55,580 --> 00:07:57,420
Mr. Lionel Twain.

67
00:07:57,420 --> 00:07:58,750
- You, too, huh?

68
00:07:58,750 --> 00:08:01,500
Must be important to invite
two such eminent detectives?

69
00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:05,510
- Excuse please, to
introduce Japanese son, Wai.

70
00:08:05,510 --> 00:08:06,340
- Hi.

71
00:08:06,340 --> 00:08:08,010
- Japanese, but I thought surely you...

72
00:08:08,010 --> 00:08:10,300
- Mrs. Wang and I could
never have children.

73
00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:13,310
We adopted number three son.

74
00:08:13,310 --> 00:08:15,060
- [Dick] My pleasure,
be careful on this road,

75
00:08:15,060 --> 00:08:16,020
it's treacherous.

76
00:08:16,020 --> 00:08:18,060
- Treacherous road like fresh mushroom.

77
00:08:18,060 --> 00:08:18,850
Must always.

78
00:08:19,850 --> 00:08:20,900
Idiot.

79
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:23,190
Not finished mushroom story.

80
00:08:23,190 --> 00:08:24,320
You are idiot.

81
00:08:25,570 --> 00:08:28,780
(bright playful music)

82
00:08:31,990 --> 00:08:32,910
- well, I'm sorry, Mr. Perrier,

83
00:08:32,910 --> 00:08:34,660
but I can see nothing.

84
00:08:34,660 --> 00:08:36,750
This fog is as thick as bouillabaisse.

85
00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:37,960
- Nuts.

86
00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:38,790
- Beg your pardon?

87
00:08:38,790 --> 00:08:39,670
- Nuts, nuts.

88
00:08:39,670 --> 00:08:41,330
There are no nuts in my chocolate.

89
00:08:42,540 --> 00:08:44,000
That stupid imbecile in the shop,

90
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,260
give you raisins when I
asked you to get me nuts.

91
00:08:46,260 --> 00:08:47,920
- He didn't have any nuts.

92
00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:50,470
- The man in the shop?

93
00:08:50,470 --> 00:08:53,100
- That's the reason I took the raisins.

94
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:54,390
- Oh, never mind.

95
00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:57,310
We will soon be there for dinner.

96
00:08:57,310 --> 00:08:58,310
Hot soup.

97
00:08:58,310 --> 00:08:59,640
- Oui, monsieur.

98
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,940
Something is not right
in all of this, huh?

99
00:09:01,940 --> 00:09:04,070
I can feel it in my bones.

100
00:09:05,230 --> 00:09:06,280
- In your what?

101
00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:07,400
- In my bones.

102
00:09:08,610 --> 00:09:09,740
- Buns.

103
00:09:09,740 --> 00:09:11,030
You have buns.

104
00:09:11,030 --> 00:09:13,450
You bought buns and you didn't tell me?

105
00:09:13,450 --> 00:09:14,950
Where are they, where are the buns?

106
00:09:14,950 --> 00:09:17,160
- Oh, no, monsieur, the bones in my body.

107
00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:18,370
- Oh.

108
00:09:18,370 --> 00:09:19,710
You should not speak with an accent

109
00:09:19,710 --> 00:09:21,080
when you know I'm so hungry.

110
00:09:22,460 --> 00:09:25,420
(suspenseful music)

111
00:09:31,550 --> 00:09:34,470
- [Tess] If you ask me, Sam,
this is a wild goose chase.

112
00:09:34,470 --> 00:09:35,850
- [Sam] Nobody asked you, baby.

113
00:09:35,850 --> 00:09:38,100
- [Tess] Yes, they did, you asked me.

114
00:09:38,100 --> 00:09:39,270
You asked me back there if I thought--

115
00:09:39,270 --> 00:09:40,770
- That was then.

116
00:09:40,770 --> 00:09:41,640
This is now,

117
00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:44,150
and nobody knows what tomorrow will be.

118
00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:45,270
That's the way things are,

119
00:09:45,270 --> 00:09:46,980
whether we like it or not.

120
00:09:48,030 --> 00:09:50,610
- Sam, I worry about you
sometimes, I really do.

121
00:09:50,610 --> 00:09:52,160
- All right, cut the malarkey.

122
00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:54,450
This trip is strictly business with me.

123
00:09:54,450 --> 00:09:56,370
Now what do you got on this Twain guy??

124
00:09:56,370 --> 00:09:58,660
- He was born in San Francisco in 1906.

125
00:09:58,660 --> 00:09:59,910
His mother was a Roman catholic,

126
00:09:59,910 --> 00:10:02,000
his father was an orthodox Jew.

127
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,540
They were separated two
hours after the marriage.

128
00:10:04,540 --> 00:10:05,880
- Any children?

129
00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:07,420
- Yeah, one daughter, 32.

130
00:10:07,420 --> 00:10:09,920
Her name's Irene but
she calls herself Rita.

131
00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:11,970
- Just like a dame.

132
00:10:11,970 --> 00:10:14,140
Don't stop, angel, you're doing fine.

133
00:10:14,140 --> 00:10:16,050
- Was arrested in 1932 in Chicago

134
00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:18,560
for selling pornographic Bibles.

135
00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:19,970
The DA couldn't make the charge stick

136
00:10:19,970 --> 00:10:22,730
and the church refused
to turn over the Bibles.

137
00:10:22,730 --> 00:10:25,110
There's nothing on 'em until '46,

138
00:10:25,110 --> 00:10:27,230
when he was picked up in El Paso, Texas,

139
00:10:27,230 --> 00:10:28,940
for trying to smuggle a truck load

140
00:10:28,940 --> 00:10:31,320
of rich white Americans across the border

141
00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:32,860
into Mexico to pick melons.

142
00:10:33,950 --> 00:10:35,620
He was sent to the Dallas Day Hospital

143
00:10:35,620 --> 00:10:37,410
for mental observation.

144
00:10:37,410 --> 00:10:40,290
- I think we've picked
ourselves a queer bird, angel.

145
00:10:40,290 --> 00:10:41,830
Anything else?

146
00:10:41,830 --> 00:10:43,870
- Oh, yeah, get this, Sam.

147
00:10:43,870 --> 00:10:47,170
Lionel Twain has one interesting
physical characteristic.

148
00:10:47,170 --> 00:10:48,500
He has no pinkies.

149
00:10:49,710 --> 00:10:51,510
- No pinkies?

150
00:10:51,510 --> 00:10:54,010
You mean Twain has only got eight fingers?

151
00:10:54,010 --> 00:10:56,300
- No, no, he's got 10.

152
00:10:56,300 --> 00:10:57,970
He just doesn't have any pinkies.

153
00:10:57,970 --> 00:11:00,180
- You did your homework good, angel.

154
00:11:00,180 --> 00:11:01,350
- Thanks, Sam.

155
00:11:01,350 --> 00:11:02,890
- Where'd you dig up all that stuff?

156
00:11:02,890 --> 00:11:04,600
- Oh, I wrote to Twain and asked him.

157
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:06,270
- Good thinking.

158
00:11:06,270 --> 00:11:08,980
(engine sputters)

159
00:11:08,980 --> 00:11:10,900
- [Tess] what's the matter?

160
00:11:10,900 --> 00:11:13,490
- Wouldn't you know, out of gas.

161
00:11:14,490 --> 00:11:18,120
- I saw a station about
five miles back, Sam.

162
00:11:19,950 --> 00:11:22,700
- I want you to know I'm gonna
be waiting for you, baby.

163
00:11:24,460 --> 00:11:27,170
(dramatic music)

164
00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:36,970
- [willie] Here's the bridge, Pop.

165
00:11:36,970 --> 00:11:38,850
Doesn't look safe to me.

166
00:11:38,850 --> 00:11:42,390
- One way to find out, drive across.

167
00:11:42,390 --> 00:11:44,640
- Well, aren't you gonna come with me?

168
00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:47,980
- Weight of two men maybe
too much for bridge.

169
00:11:47,980 --> 00:11:49,520
- Then why do I get to drive the car?

170
00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:52,230
- 'Cause I smart enough to get out first.

171
00:11:53,150 --> 00:11:55,780
(playful music)

172
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,630
- [willie] I don't think
I'm gonna make it, Pop.

173
00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:11,500
It's gonna collapse.

174
00:12:11,500 --> 00:12:12,960
- Don't worry.

175
00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:15,470
Father find other way to house.

176
00:12:15,470 --> 00:12:18,180
(dramatic music)

177
00:12:26,140 --> 00:12:27,390
(triumphant music)

178
00:12:27,390 --> 00:12:29,850
- I made it, Pop, I made it.

179
00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:31,650
- Good, good.

180
00:12:31,650 --> 00:12:34,110
Now come back and get adopted father.

181
00:12:37,530 --> 00:12:40,110
Look at the invitation,
what number of house?

182
00:12:40,110 --> 00:12:42,660
- Two, two.
- correct.

183
00:12:42,660 --> 00:12:44,910
Two, two Twain's house, continue.

184
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,710
(dramatic music)

185
00:13:11,730 --> 00:13:13,110
Did you see that?

186
00:13:13,110 --> 00:13:13,940
- No.

187
00:13:13,940 --> 00:13:15,320
- Neither did I.

188
00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:18,280
(suspenseful music)

189
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:23,700
stop, do not move.

190
00:13:25,330 --> 00:13:27,370
Something's wrong here.

191
00:13:27,370 --> 00:13:28,410
- [willie] what is it, Pop?

192
00:13:28,410 --> 00:13:29,620
- Do not ask questions.

193
00:13:29,620 --> 00:13:30,540
Do as I say.

194
00:13:30,540 --> 00:13:33,750
When I tell you jump, you jump.

195
00:13:33,750 --> 00:13:38,460
One, two, three, jump.
(statue shatters)

196
00:13:39,510 --> 00:13:41,380
- Holy shanghai.

197
00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:45,640
Nice counting, Pop, but how'd you know?

198
00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:47,060
- Look on ground.

199
00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:48,810
(foreboding music)

200
00:13:48,810 --> 00:13:50,180
Ah.

201
00:13:50,180 --> 00:13:52,560
Even had correct shoe size.

202
00:13:52,560 --> 00:13:55,940
Someone go great trouble
to make welcome guests

203
00:13:55,940 --> 00:13:57,030
not so welcome.

204
00:13:58,320 --> 00:13:59,320
Ring bell please.

205
00:14:00,610 --> 00:14:03,030
- Are you nuts, Pop,
someone's trying to kill us?

206
00:14:03,030 --> 00:14:06,450
- Yes, should make exciting weekend.

207
00:14:06,450 --> 00:14:08,080
Ring, please.

208
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:09,580
- I wish it was Monday morning.

209
00:14:12,870 --> 00:14:14,500
Well, here goes.

210
00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:16,630
(woman screams)

211
00:14:16,630 --> 00:14:19,170
Holy cow, they're
killing someone in there.

212
00:14:19,170 --> 00:14:20,130
- Calm yourself.

213
00:14:20,130 --> 00:14:21,510
- Didn't you hear her scream?

214
00:14:21,510 --> 00:14:22,380
- Oh, no.

215
00:14:22,380 --> 00:14:23,970
You heard scream.

216
00:14:23,970 --> 00:14:27,060
More experienced ear heard doorbell.

217
00:14:27,060 --> 00:14:28,140
Listen again.

218
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:32,230
(woman screams)

219
00:14:33,310 --> 00:14:37,320
Mr. Twain has macabre
sense of humor, yeah?

220
00:14:38,690 --> 00:14:43,650
(thunder rumbles)
(curious music)

221
00:15:00,380 --> 00:15:03,220
- [Butler] Good evening,
we have been expecting you.

222
00:15:03,220 --> 00:15:04,930
- But in what condition?

223
00:15:04,930 --> 00:15:07,390
Roof in need of repair.

224
00:15:07,390 --> 00:15:08,220
- Indeed.

225
00:15:08,220 --> 00:15:11,100
I'm afraid the house is falling apart.

226
00:15:12,930 --> 00:15:14,480
- May we come in, please?

227
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,440
- I'm so sorry, I thought you were in.

228
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:20,270
You are Mr. and Mrs. Charleston.

229
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:26,200
- Not quite, I am Inspector
Wang of Catalina Police.

230
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,070
This adopted son willie.

231
00:15:29,990 --> 00:15:31,790
- I trust you had a pleasant journey

232
00:15:31,790 --> 00:15:33,620
despite the storm.

233
00:15:33,620 --> 00:15:38,540
(dramatic music)
(thunder rumbles)

234
00:15:45,300 --> 00:15:46,970
- Strange weather.

235
00:15:46,970 --> 00:15:51,220
Storm only outside when inside.

236
00:15:51,220 --> 00:15:52,270
- Oh, that.

237
00:15:52,270 --> 00:15:55,180
That's just one of Mr.
Twain's little toys.

238
00:15:55,180 --> 00:15:57,150
An electronic device.

239
00:15:57,150 --> 00:15:59,770
Mr. Twain, as you will soon discover,

240
00:15:59,770 --> 00:16:03,070
prefers his atmosphere murky.

241
00:16:03,070 --> 00:16:04,740
May I have your bags, sir?

242
00:16:04,740 --> 00:16:06,990
- Oh, no, no, son will get bags.

243
00:16:06,990 --> 00:16:09,620
That is why I adopted him.

244
00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:10,910
- Very good, sir.

245
00:16:10,910 --> 00:16:14,160
One moment please, while I close the door.

246
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:19,880
Now, if you will follow me.

247
00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:22,840
I will show you to your room.

248
00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:27,800
(curious music)
(thunder rumbles)

249
00:16:33,470 --> 00:16:35,350
- very large house.

250
00:16:35,350 --> 00:16:36,600
No other servants?

251
00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:38,270
- I'm not sure.

252
00:16:38,270 --> 00:16:39,400
I've never seen anyone.

253
00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:47,030
Mr. Twain asked me to see that
you're made most comfortable,

254
00:16:47,030 --> 00:16:49,950
and to say that he will be
joining you after dinner.

255
00:16:49,950 --> 00:16:51,280
- After dinner?

256
00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:53,870
Host not have dinner with guests?

257
00:16:53,870 --> 00:16:58,120
- No, Mr. Twain prefers to eat out.

258
00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:00,920
(thunder rumbles)

259
00:17:02,210 --> 00:17:05,170
(suspenseful music)

260
00:17:09,010 --> 00:17:11,720
(dog barks)

261
00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:12,930
- oh, wait please.

262
00:17:12,930 --> 00:17:13,970
What that?

263
00:17:13,970 --> 00:17:15,220
- That, oh it's nothing, sir.

264
00:17:15,220 --> 00:17:16,220
Just the cat.

265
00:17:16,220 --> 00:17:18,310
(dog barks)

266
00:17:18,310 --> 00:17:19,100
- That cat?

267
00:17:20,270 --> 00:17:22,900
You feed cat dog food?

268
00:17:22,900 --> 00:17:25,650
- I'm afraid he's a very angry cat, sir.

269
00:17:25,650 --> 00:17:29,740
Mr. Twain had him fixed
and he didn't want to be.

270
00:17:29,740 --> 00:17:32,490
(dog growls)
- oh.

271
00:17:32,490 --> 00:17:33,530
- Big house, huh, Pop?

272
00:17:34,450 --> 00:17:37,540
- Big house like man married to fat woman,

273
00:17:37,540 --> 00:17:39,620
hard to get around.

274
00:17:39,620 --> 00:17:41,120
- Ah, here we are.

275
00:17:42,420 --> 00:17:44,500
I'm sure you'll find this suitable.

276
00:17:44,500 --> 00:17:45,880
- Boy, it's a cold house.

277
00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:47,420
- I've taken care of that, sir.

278
00:17:47,420 --> 00:17:49,970
You'll find a nice cozy fire in your room.

279
00:17:52,180 --> 00:17:54,800
(playful music)

280
00:18:09,530 --> 00:18:11,030
It's a bit smokey, sir.

281
00:18:11,030 --> 00:18:14,990
I'm afraid that old fireplace
hasn't been used in years.

282
00:18:14,990 --> 00:18:16,910
- At least the bed will be warm.

283
00:18:16,910 --> 00:18:19,950
- If you wish anything, sir, please ring.

284
00:18:19,950 --> 00:18:21,040
- Where bathroom?

285
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,790
- It's behind the bed, sir, there.

286
00:18:24,830 --> 00:18:26,210
Dinner will be at nine,

287
00:18:26,210 --> 00:18:30,050
and Mr. Twain likes his guests to dress.

288
00:18:30,050 --> 00:18:31,050
(woman screams)

289
00:18:31,050 --> 00:18:33,840
Ah, the doorbell, excuse me.

290
00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:39,930
- Wow, what a creepy guy.

291
00:18:39,930 --> 00:18:42,020
Why would anyone want
to hire a blind butler?

292
00:18:42,020 --> 00:18:44,690
- For one thing, very cheap.

293
00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:47,270
How butler know how much he get paid?

294
00:18:51,900 --> 00:18:53,900
- Drink this darling, you'll feel better.

295
00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:55,320
- If Myron hadn't barked when he did,

296
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:57,330
we never would have seen
that statue falling.

297
00:18:57,330 --> 00:18:58,160
- Why, I don't think the statue

298
00:18:58,160 --> 00:18:59,040
was meant to kill us, darling,

299
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:00,290
I think it was a warning.

300
00:19:00,290 --> 00:19:02,200
Somebody's trying to frighten us, but why?

301
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,670
- Whatever his reason is,
he's doing a wonderful job.

302
00:19:04,670 --> 00:19:06,670
- Why the devil hasn't
anybody answered this door?

303
00:19:06,670 --> 00:19:08,170
- Don't ring it again, Dicky.

304
00:19:08,170 --> 00:19:09,000
Knock, don't ring.

305
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:09,960
- I won't, I promise.

306
00:19:11,090 --> 00:19:13,880
(thunder rumbles)

307
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:20,140
- [Dora] what is it now, Myron?

308
00:19:20,140 --> 00:19:22,020
- Up there, Dora, look.

309
00:19:23,350 --> 00:19:24,770
A blind butler.

310
00:19:24,770 --> 00:19:26,400
- Don't let him park the car, Dicky.

311
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:30,190
(thunder rumbles)

312
00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:36,320
- [Butler] Good evening,
we have been expecting you.

313
00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:38,990
- We let ourselves in, thank you.

314
00:19:38,990 --> 00:19:40,280
Dick and Dora Charleston.

315
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:44,460
- Good evening, we have
been expecting you.

316
00:19:44,460 --> 00:19:47,790
Your room is ready if you'll
just follow me please.

317
00:19:47,790 --> 00:19:49,750
(dog growls)

318
00:19:49,750 --> 00:19:51,880
oh, don't mind him,
ma'am, it's just the cat.

319
00:19:53,010 --> 00:19:55,470
(light music)

320
00:19:56,590 --> 00:19:58,260
- we left our luggage in the trunk.

321
00:19:58,260 --> 00:20:01,100
- I'll get it later,
ma'am, when I park the car.

322
00:20:05,100 --> 00:20:06,850
- Was that Mr. Wang’s
car I noticed out front?

323
00:20:06,850 --> 00:20:09,690
- Yes, they're resting now in their room.

324
00:20:09,690 --> 00:20:11,270
I have taken the liberty of putting you

325
00:20:11,270 --> 00:20:13,610
in the same wing as Mr. Wang.

326
00:20:13,610 --> 00:20:14,530
- Oh, isn't that nice, darling?

327
00:20:14,530 --> 00:20:15,530
We're in Wang’s wing.

328
00:20:16,780 --> 00:20:19,240
(light music)

329
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:23,910
(spring bounces)

330
00:20:24,830 --> 00:20:27,670
- Not many people come
to the manor these days.

331
00:20:27,670 --> 00:20:30,420
It's nice to hear guests again.

332
00:20:30,420 --> 00:20:31,630
- Thank you, you are?

333
00:20:31,630 --> 00:20:32,500
- Bensonmum, ma'am.

334
00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:33,340
- Thank you, Benson.

335
00:20:33,340 --> 00:20:35,420
- No, no, Bensonmum,

336
00:20:35,420 --> 00:20:37,260
my name is Bensonmum.

337
00:20:37,260 --> 00:20:38,090
- Bensonmum?

338
00:20:38,090 --> 00:20:40,720
- Yes, sir, Jamesir, Bensonmum.

339
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:41,760
- Jamesir.

340
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:42,680
- Yes, sir.

341
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:44,010
- Jamesir Bensonmum.

342
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:45,100
- Yes, sir.

343
00:20:45,100 --> 00:20:45,930
- How odd.

344
00:20:45,930 --> 00:20:47,180
- My father's name, sir.

345
00:20:47,180 --> 00:20:49,060
- What was your father's name?

346
00:20:49,060 --> 00:20:50,810
- Howard, Howard Bensonmum.

347
00:20:50,810 --> 00:20:52,690
- Your father was Howard Bensonmum?

348
00:20:52,690 --> 00:20:54,360
- Leave it be, dear, I've had enough.

349
00:20:54,360 --> 00:20:55,650
- Oh, here we are.

350
00:20:55,650 --> 00:20:57,900
The late Mrs. Twain's room.

351
00:20:57,900 --> 00:21:00,110
She died in here.

352
00:21:00,110 --> 00:21:01,070
- Oh dear.

353
00:21:01,070 --> 00:21:02,280
- Died of what?

354
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:05,120
- She murdered herself in her sleep, sir.

355
00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:06,370
- You mean suicide?

356
00:21:06,370 --> 00:21:09,620
- Oh, no, it was murder all right.

357
00:21:09,620 --> 00:21:12,670
Mrs. Twain hated herself.

358
00:21:12,670 --> 00:21:15,300
We keep this room locked.

359
00:21:15,300 --> 00:21:16,380
- Why is that?

360
00:21:16,380 --> 00:21:18,670
- Mr. Twain loved her very much.

361
00:21:18,670 --> 00:21:20,890
He's kept her room just as it was

362
00:21:20,890 --> 00:21:24,850
the night she choked
herself nine years ago.

363
00:21:26,140 --> 00:21:29,060
(suspenseful music)

364
00:21:34,980 --> 00:21:37,110
Madame loved it here.

365
00:21:37,110 --> 00:21:39,450
She said it was the
cheeriest room in the house.

366
00:21:43,570 --> 00:21:46,490
(woman screams)
Ah, the doorbell.

367
00:21:46,490 --> 00:21:48,080
- That was Mrs. Charleston.

368
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:49,910
- I thought she was up here with us, sir?

369
00:21:49,910 --> 00:21:52,420
- I am and I will not
stay in this horribly

370
00:21:52,420 --> 00:21:53,290
filthy room overnight.

371
00:21:53,290 --> 00:21:55,630
- Filthy, very well, madame.

372
00:21:55,630 --> 00:21:57,420
I'll attend to it during dinner.

373
00:21:57,420 --> 00:21:58,920
- Thank you, Bensonson.

374
00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:00,550
- Mum.
- what?

375
00:22:00,550 --> 00:22:02,470
- Bensonmum, ma'am.

376
00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:06,260
(door creaks)

377
00:22:09,770 --> 00:22:11,100
- Baking flour.

378
00:22:11,100 --> 00:22:11,940
- [Dora] what?

379
00:22:11,940 --> 00:22:13,100
- This dust is baking flour

380
00:22:14,310 --> 00:22:16,730
and these cobwebs, candied sugar,

381
00:22:16,730 --> 00:22:18,570
all placed here recently
for the sole purpose

382
00:22:18,570 --> 00:22:21,490
of frightening us and that mouse,

383
00:22:21,490 --> 00:22:22,950
honestly, mechanical toy.

384
00:22:25,740 --> 00:22:27,240
(laughing)

385
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:28,290
silly.

386
00:22:28,290 --> 00:22:29,410
- What is?

387
00:22:29,410 --> 00:22:30,200
- I am.

388
00:22:31,410 --> 00:22:33,920
It's real.
(Dora screams)

389
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:36,460
(mice squeaks)

390
00:22:38,170 --> 00:22:39,880
- [Milo] Stop the car, we are here.

391
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:41,880
- I know we are here, that's
why I stopped the car.

392
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:43,260
- Open my door.

393
00:22:43,260 --> 00:22:44,680
- You have chocolate on your face.

394
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:45,510
- What?

395
00:22:45,510 --> 00:22:46,890
- The candy bar, it is all over your face.

396
00:22:46,890 --> 00:22:48,350
- Imbecile, that's my mustache.

397
00:22:48,350 --> 00:22:49,770
- Lick it and see.

398
00:22:54,310 --> 00:22:56,020
- Wipe it off, my hands are sticky.

399
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:01,740
- Hold still please.

400
00:23:02,860 --> 00:23:03,650
Sloppy.

401
00:23:05,030 --> 00:23:06,120
(suspenseful music)

402
00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:08,830
(lightly knocks)

403
00:23:08,830 --> 00:23:10,830
(woman screams)

404
00:23:10,830 --> 00:23:12,290
- All in good time.

405
00:23:12,290 --> 00:23:17,250
(thunder booms)
(suspenseful music)

406
00:23:19,380 --> 00:23:20,170
Yes?

407
00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:22,920
Who's there?

408
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:26,340
Who's there, I say.

409
00:23:30,970 --> 00:23:31,930
Filthy neighborhood.

410
00:23:33,980 --> 00:23:36,650
- Didn't I say jump, une, deux, trois, jump,

411
00:23:36,650 --> 00:23:37,480
I say.

412
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:39,060
Why don't you listen to me?

413
00:23:39,060 --> 00:23:42,150
- Oh, leave me alone, sloppy.

414
00:23:42,150 --> 00:23:44,950
(thunder rumbles)

415
00:23:49,490 --> 00:23:52,120
(playful music)

416
00:23:57,420 --> 00:23:58,380
- who are you?

417
00:24:00,500 --> 00:24:03,090
(playful music)

418
00:24:05,510 --> 00:24:06,510
oh.

419
00:24:06,510 --> 00:24:09,180
You must be the new kitchen maid.

420
00:24:09,180 --> 00:24:11,260
I hope you can cook.

421
00:24:11,260 --> 00:24:12,600
Hm?

422
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:13,970
Answer me.

423
00:24:13,970 --> 00:24:14,770
Speak up.

424
00:24:19,100 --> 00:24:20,310
What's that?

425
00:24:20,310 --> 00:24:22,270
I can't hear you.

426
00:24:22,270 --> 00:24:24,570
A little shy, are you?

427
00:24:24,570 --> 00:24:25,360
Nevermind.

428
00:24:27,450 --> 00:24:29,110
They will be 10 for dinner.

429
00:24:32,030 --> 00:24:33,450
Here is the menu.

430
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:48,130
Is that understood?

431
00:24:48,130 --> 00:24:50,430
Dinner will be at nine,

432
00:24:50,430 --> 00:24:53,060
when I want you, that bell on the wall

433
00:24:53,060 --> 00:24:54,770
will ring three times.

434
00:24:54,770 --> 00:24:57,560
All right, get to work.

435
00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:00,190
(playful music)

436
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:05,990
- Hello?

437
00:25:05,990 --> 00:25:08,240
Hello, hello, operator.

438
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,320
I am saying hello, hello.

439
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:11,780
- It's dead, sir.

440
00:25:11,780 --> 00:25:13,950
- What, who is?

441
00:25:13,950 --> 00:25:14,790
Who are you?

442
00:25:14,790 --> 00:25:17,750
- The butler, sir.
- The butler, eh?

443
00:25:17,750 --> 00:25:18,710
I thought as much.

444
00:25:19,870 --> 00:25:21,710
- That phone has been out of order

445
00:25:21,710 --> 00:25:23,790
for the past week, sir.

446
00:25:23,790 --> 00:25:25,420
- Is that a fact?

447
00:25:25,420 --> 00:25:26,420
And I put it to you

448
00:25:26,420 --> 00:25:29,680
that this wire has been
snipped not one hour ago.

449
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:30,970
As you can plainly see.

450
00:25:32,470 --> 00:25:33,760
What is your name?

451
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:34,720
- Bensonmum.

452
00:25:37,220 --> 00:25:39,350
- Your little jest escapes me.

453
00:25:39,350 --> 00:25:41,810
I am Monsieur Milo Perrier.

454
00:25:41,810 --> 00:25:44,270
My chauffeur was injured
by a falling gargoyle

455
00:25:44,270 --> 00:25:47,110
while standing outside
in Chinese footprints.

456
00:25:47,110 --> 00:25:49,360
We rang the bell, a woman screamed,

457
00:25:49,360 --> 00:25:51,860
a mouse ran by us through the door.

458
00:25:51,860 --> 00:25:55,030
As you can plainly see, I miss nothing.

459
00:25:55,030 --> 00:25:57,040
Since we cannot call for a doctor,

460
00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,370
I will need a cold
compress for my chauffeur,

461
00:25:59,370 --> 00:26:00,960
and a cup of hot chocolate for me.

462
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:01,790
Nest Ce pas?

463
00:26:01,790 --> 00:26:03,500
- I don't think we have Nest Ce pas, sir.

464
00:26:03,500 --> 00:26:05,130
Just Hershey's.

465
00:26:05,130 --> 00:26:06,670
I'll call the maid.

466
00:26:09,130 --> 00:26:11,760
(bells ringing)

467
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:22,140
I'll fetch it for you myself, sir.

468
00:26:23,230 --> 00:26:24,900
In the meantime, if you'll be good enough

469
00:26:24,900 --> 00:26:26,270
to follow me to your room.

470
00:26:28,780 --> 00:26:29,570
- Get up, get up.

471
00:26:30,820 --> 00:26:33,740
There is something about
this butler I do not trust.

472
00:26:33,740 --> 00:26:37,080
Notice how his eyes never look at you.

473
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:38,200
- He's blind, monsieur.

474
00:26:40,910 --> 00:26:41,910
- Nonsense.

475
00:26:43,870 --> 00:26:47,630
(conspicuous music)

476
00:26:47,630 --> 00:26:49,460
- [Sam] There's the house now.

477
00:26:49,460 --> 00:26:50,670
- Oh.

478
00:26:50,670 --> 00:26:51,720
- What's the matter?

479
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:53,840
- My feet are killing me.

480
00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:55,010
Why didn't you tell me we needed oil

481
00:26:55,010 --> 00:26:57,050
before I went back for the gas, Sam.

482
00:26:58,010 --> 00:26:59,520
- Because I gave you a 50 dollar bill

483
00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:01,270
and the gas was only five bucks.

484
00:27:01,270 --> 00:27:02,810
Maybe you'd come back, maybe you wouldn't.

485
00:27:02,810 --> 00:27:05,190
I couldn't take that chance, angel.

486
00:27:05,190 --> 00:27:06,730
- Don't you trust me, Sam?

487
00:27:06,730 --> 00:27:08,150
- Trust you?

488
00:27:08,150 --> 00:27:12,320
The last time that I trusted
a dame was in Paris in 1940.

489
00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:15,070
She said she was going out
to get a bottle of wine.

490
00:27:15,070 --> 00:27:18,490
Two hours later, the
Germans marched into France.

491
00:27:18,490 --> 00:27:20,580
- Oh, I'm sorry, Sam.

492
00:27:20,580 --> 00:27:22,290
- Sorry nothing, give me my change.

493
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:27,130
(suspenseful music)

494
00:27:29,590 --> 00:27:31,710
- Dinner will be at nine, sir.

495
00:27:31,710 --> 00:27:33,920
I'll have the maid
bring up your chocolate.

496
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:35,930
- [Milo] oh, one moment, my good man.

497
00:27:35,930 --> 00:27:36,720
- Sir?

498
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:54,190
- Thank you, that will be all.

499
00:27:57,870 --> 00:27:59,320
He's blind all right.

500
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:00,950
Those were my funniest faces.

501
00:28:02,540 --> 00:28:05,460
(suspenseful music)

502
00:28:11,090 --> 00:28:13,460
(trunk creaks)

503
00:28:13,460 --> 00:28:15,550
- Not exactly the Copacabana, is it?

504
00:28:15,550 --> 00:28:17,680
- I don't feel good about this, Sam.

505
00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:20,260
Maybe tonight's the
night your luck runs out.

506
00:28:20,260 --> 00:28:21,050
- Maybe so.

507
00:28:22,010 --> 00:28:24,180
There's a number on the
wall for all of us, angel,

508
00:28:24,180 --> 00:28:25,270
and if tonight's the night

509
00:28:25,270 --> 00:28:26,640
they pick mine, so be it.

510
00:28:28,770 --> 00:28:29,940
After you, sweetheart.

511
00:28:32,610 --> 00:28:34,360
- First kiss me, Sam.

512
00:28:34,360 --> 00:28:35,820
- I don't kiss.

513
00:28:35,820 --> 00:28:37,360
- Just this once, Sam.

514
00:28:37,360 --> 00:28:39,570
- I don't like kissing,
now leave me alone.

515
00:28:41,070 --> 00:28:44,040
(suspenseful music)

516
00:28:46,460 --> 00:28:49,080
(woman screams)

517
00:28:51,420 --> 00:28:52,920
(suspenseful music)

518
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:54,800
- My god!

519
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:57,010
He's dead.
- I beg your pardon?

520
00:28:57,010 --> 00:28:58,470
- Sam Diamond, the man I worked for

521
00:28:58,470 --> 00:29:00,760
is lying out there, he's
been crushed to death.

522
00:29:01,890 --> 00:29:03,810
I'm gonna faint, you catch me.

523
00:29:05,100 --> 00:29:06,680
- Madame?

524
00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:07,730
Madame, where are you?

525
00:29:09,060 --> 00:29:10,560
- All right, hold it right there,

526
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:12,440
freeze, Blinky, get your hands up,

527
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:13,730
turn your face to the wall.

528
00:29:19,820 --> 00:29:22,160
All right, angel, you can get up now.

529
00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:23,700
Turn around please.

530
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:29,080
Your concrete Christmas present arrived

531
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:30,500
about two seconds early,

532
00:29:30,500 --> 00:29:31,880
no thanks to you.

533
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:35,090
- I apologize for any
unfortunate mishaps, sir.

534
00:29:35,090 --> 00:29:36,670
May I put my hands down?

535
00:29:36,670 --> 00:29:39,220
- Don't test your luck, Shakespeare.

536
00:29:39,220 --> 00:29:42,300
I got your little invitation for dinner.

537
00:29:42,300 --> 00:29:45,260
But I didn't realize, I was
gonna be the main course.

538
00:29:48,180 --> 00:29:50,310
I had a kid brother
who got it the same way

539
00:29:50,310 --> 00:29:52,850
working on a case just
like this two years ago.

540
00:29:54,190 --> 00:29:57,110
That boy would have been 63 on Tuesday.

541
00:29:58,360 --> 00:29:59,700
For two cents, I'd like to take this--

542
00:29:59,700 --> 00:30:02,360
- Sam, don't.
- Get him away from me.

543
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:03,160
Get him away.

544
00:30:04,370 --> 00:30:06,540
Get him away before I stuff him

545
00:30:06,540 --> 00:30:07,870
like one of them tiger trophies

546
00:30:07,870 --> 00:30:11,040
his limey pals like to
hang up on saloon walls.

547
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:12,330
- [Tess] Please.

548
00:30:15,130 --> 00:30:17,630
- He has a dreadful temper, hasn't he?

549
00:30:17,630 --> 00:30:20,510
(clock bell rings)

550
00:30:27,510 --> 00:30:29,640
(suspenseful music)

551
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:32,020
(spring boinging)

552
00:30:32,020 --> 00:30:35,310
Nine o'clock, time for dinner.

553
00:30:35,310 --> 00:30:37,270
Is everything ready, hm?

554
00:30:38,690 --> 00:30:42,070
(sniffs) I don't smell anything.

555
00:30:42,070 --> 00:30:44,700
Very light on the seasoning are you?

556
00:30:44,700 --> 00:30:46,830
Put the soup in the
tureen and keep the squabs

557
00:30:46,830 --> 00:30:48,040
on the low flame.

558
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:49,750
I'll serve cocktails.

559
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:52,160
When you hear the bell,

560
00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:55,880
bring out the chilled asparagus

561
00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:57,960
and turn up the flame on the squabs.

562
00:31:01,010 --> 00:31:02,880
Have you got that?

563
00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:05,510
(playful music)

564
00:31:12,180 --> 00:31:14,730
(sultry music)

565
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:20,280
- You didn't tell me how I look, Dicky.

566
00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:21,610
- No different than you
always look, darling,

567
00:31:21,610 --> 00:31:23,860
absolutely ravishing.

568
00:31:23,860 --> 00:31:25,700
- Do you love me and adore me?

569
00:31:25,700 --> 00:31:28,120
- I love you and adore you.

570
00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:30,080
You still have the best
tush in high society.

571
00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:32,540
- Years of horseback riding, darling.

572
00:31:32,540 --> 00:31:35,170
- Getting to bottom of things, Charleston?

573
00:31:35,170 --> 00:31:36,040
- Ah, Wang.

574
00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:36,880
Darling, you remember?

575
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:39,040
- Of course, nice to see you, ah, Wang.

576
00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:40,880
- Always a pleasure, Mrs. Charleston.

577
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:43,010
- [Dora] what a beautiful gown.

578
00:31:43,010 --> 00:31:44,470
You must tell me where you got it.

579
00:31:44,470 --> 00:31:47,050
- This, oh, this an old dress.

580
00:31:47,050 --> 00:31:47,930
Had it for years.

581
00:31:49,970 --> 00:31:52,060
Please to meet adopted son willie.

582
00:31:53,020 --> 00:31:56,350
- Ah, east meets west
in a most bizarre setting.

583
00:31:56,350 --> 00:31:57,650
- Perrier.
- Charleston.

584
00:31:57,650 --> 00:31:59,190
- I didn't know you were invited.

585
00:31:59,190 --> 00:32:00,020
You know Wang.

586
00:32:00,020 --> 00:32:01,570
- Ah, yes, I had the pleasure

587
00:32:01,570 --> 00:32:03,530
of dining in Shanghai many years ago

588
00:32:03,530 --> 00:32:04,740
with Inspector Wang.

589
00:32:05,610 --> 00:32:08,490
- Hong ching chu kow dung woo fong.

590
00:32:08,490 --> 00:32:10,660
- Oh you remember, yes.

591
00:32:10,660 --> 00:32:12,410
- Hong ching ch...

592
00:32:12,410 --> 00:32:13,830
- Kow dung woo fong.

593
00:32:15,830 --> 00:32:18,130
- My wife Dora, Inspector Perrier.

594
00:32:18,130 --> 00:32:20,420
- Tres charmant.

595
00:32:20,420 --> 00:32:21,550
(Milo coughing)

596
00:32:21,550 --> 00:32:23,800
- I'm sorry, our room is so dusty.

597
00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:26,510
- My fault, I should have blown first.

598
00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:33,430
- Recovered from your accident, Marcel?

599
00:32:33,430 --> 00:32:34,310
- Oui, monsieur.

600
00:32:34,310 --> 00:32:36,520
But how did you know?

601
00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:38,270
- From the way you bend.

602
00:32:38,270 --> 00:32:39,900
The right side of your body smashed in

603
00:32:39,900 --> 00:32:41,770
by a Citröen, I imagine.

604
00:32:41,770 --> 00:32:44,150
I also thought I detected
a slight metallic sound

605
00:32:44,150 --> 00:32:45,150
which leads me to believe you had

606
00:32:45,150 --> 00:32:47,530
an artificial hip put in, steel?

607
00:32:47,530 --> 00:32:48,950
- Aluminum.

608
00:32:48,950 --> 00:32:51,410
You're as quick as ever, Charleston.

609
00:32:51,410 --> 00:32:53,160
- And you, Mr. Charleston,

610
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:57,080
did not approve of Mrs.
Charleston dying hair blond.

611
00:32:57,080 --> 00:32:58,040
- I beg your pardon.

612
00:32:59,460 --> 00:33:02,130
- Mrs. Charleston’s hair red.

613
00:33:02,130 --> 00:33:05,010
You have blond hairs on shoulder.

614
00:33:06,090 --> 00:33:09,760
That means she has dyed
red hair to blonde,

615
00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:12,100
and back again to red or else

616
00:33:12,100 --> 00:33:13,140
you have been...

617
00:33:14,180 --> 00:33:15,680
(dramatic music)

618
00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:18,890
oh, so sorry, Wang is wrong.

619
00:33:18,890 --> 00:33:20,440
Shall we go to dinner, please?

620
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:24,020
(playful music)

621
00:33:27,650 --> 00:33:28,740
- Boy, Pop, you sure put your--

622
00:33:28,740 --> 00:33:30,110
- Shut Japanese mouth.

623
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:35,040
- Must be simply ghastly
to have a hip removed.

624
00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:36,120
Does it hurt?

625
00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:39,250
- It only hurts in damp weather. (screams)

626
00:33:45,130 --> 00:33:46,420
- Are you all right?

627
00:33:46,420 --> 00:33:50,340
- Pay no attention, you'll only spoil him.

628
00:33:50,340 --> 00:33:51,550
Get up, get up.

629
00:33:54,220 --> 00:33:56,560
- As I was saying, Mr. Charleston.

630
00:33:56,560 --> 00:33:57,350
- Hey, Pop.

631
00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:01,650
- Treacherous road like fresh mushroom.
- Hey, Pop!

632
00:34:02,940 --> 00:34:05,980
I know, dogs stick tongue out of picture.

633
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:09,610
Treacherous road like fresh mushroom.

634
00:34:13,030 --> 00:34:14,870
(thunder rumbles)

635
00:34:14,870 --> 00:34:16,790
- He's a charming fellow.

636
00:34:16,790 --> 00:34:19,160
- African death mask, died
in some tribal ritual,

637
00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:20,000
I should think.

638
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:22,370
- Wonder where others are?

639
00:34:22,370 --> 00:34:23,170
- Others?

640
00:34:24,750 --> 00:34:26,170
What others?

641
00:34:26,170 --> 00:34:28,920
- Invitation to dinner and murder

642
00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:30,760
finally clear to Wang,

643
00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:33,300
with appearance of Monsieur Perrier.

644
00:34:33,300 --> 00:34:34,140
- It is obvious

645
00:34:34,140 --> 00:34:36,220
that only the world's
greatest living detectives

646
00:34:36,220 --> 00:34:37,470
are on the guest list.

647
00:34:37,470 --> 00:34:38,850
- Five of us, to be exact, darling.

648
00:34:38,850 --> 00:34:40,350
Three already here.

649
00:34:40,350 --> 00:34:42,310
- Two have not yet arrived.

650
00:34:42,310 --> 00:34:44,270
- Miss Jessie Marbles of England.

651
00:34:44,270 --> 00:34:45,110
- And Mr.-

652
00:34:45,110 --> 00:34:47,110
- Sam Diamond of San Francisco.

653
00:34:48,110 --> 00:34:50,190
I know who you all are.

654
00:34:50,190 --> 00:34:51,780
The lady here in the rented dress

655
00:34:51,780 --> 00:34:54,700
is my secretary and mistress,
Miss Tess Skeffington.

656
00:34:54,700 --> 00:34:56,320
- Oh, Sam, don't.

657
00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:58,450
- Oh, I'm sorry, sweetheart.

658
00:34:58,450 --> 00:34:59,740
Ms. Skeffington doesn't like it

659
00:34:59,740 --> 00:35:01,660
when I'm so brutally honest,

660
00:35:01,660 --> 00:35:03,500
but then again, we're
all in a brutal business,

661
00:35:03,500 --> 00:35:04,580
aren't we gentlemen?

662
00:35:04,580 --> 00:35:09,550
- Never consider murder to
be business, Mr. Diamond.

663
00:35:09,550 --> 00:35:11,590
- Is that right, Mr. Wang?

664
00:35:11,590 --> 00:35:12,720
Well, maybe not for you,

665
00:35:12,720 --> 00:35:14,470
seeing as how you put all your money

666
00:35:14,470 --> 00:35:16,550
into vegetables back in the late 30's.

667
00:35:17,430 --> 00:35:18,810
Maybe our friends here don't know

668
00:35:18,810 --> 00:35:21,140
that you own over 50% of the beansprouts

669
00:35:21,140 --> 00:35:24,140
and the bamboo shoots grown
on the Chinese mainland,

670
00:35:25,190 --> 00:35:26,650
so you folks can imagine

671
00:35:26,650 --> 00:35:29,440
how much chicken chow mein
goes into Mr. Wang’s pot

672
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:32,240
each year, am I getting
those figures right, angel?

673
00:35:32,240 --> 00:35:33,190
- Right, Sam.

674
00:35:33,190 --> 00:35:35,660
- I don't see what this
has to do with anything?

675
00:35:35,660 --> 00:35:37,450
- For you, Mr. Perrier,

676
00:35:38,530 --> 00:35:40,620
you work both sides of the big drink.

677
00:35:41,870 --> 00:35:43,160
Pretty good pickings over there,

678
00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:45,120
solving crimes for them barons and earls

679
00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:47,750
and putting your fancy fees
into private Swiss banks.

680
00:35:48,670 --> 00:35:50,250
Three trips a years buys
a lot of hot chocolate,

681
00:35:50,250 --> 00:35:51,500
don't it, Frenchie?

682
00:35:51,500 --> 00:35:52,760
- Now, see here, Diamond.

683
00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:55,760
- No, you see here Mr.
Charleston of New York,

684
00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:57,590
Palm Beach, and Beverly Hills,

685
00:35:58,600 --> 00:36:01,310
crime is just a hobby to you, isn't it?

686
00:36:01,310 --> 00:36:02,850
It's just a little game to while away

687
00:36:02,850 --> 00:36:04,810
the time while you're
waiting for room service

688
00:36:04,810 --> 00:36:06,270
in some fancy hotel,

689
00:36:06,270 --> 00:36:07,730
while your wife's family dough

690
00:36:07,730 --> 00:36:10,860
buys her gin martinis and your $300 suits.

691
00:36:10,860 --> 00:36:12,190
That's a pretty nice arrangement

692
00:36:12,190 --> 00:36:13,650
when all you gotta do is give your wife

693
00:36:13,650 --> 00:36:15,240
a little grab every now and then

694
00:36:15,240 --> 00:36:17,320
and take the dog for a leak twice a day.

695
00:36:18,240 --> 00:36:19,530
Sorry, if I'm shocking you, ma'am,

696
00:36:19,530 --> 00:36:22,580
but I never had time to
go to finishing school.

697
00:36:22,580 --> 00:36:24,040
My school is the streets

698
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:26,370
and looking down the
barrel of a pointed revolver

699
00:36:26,370 --> 00:36:27,420
is my teacher.

700
00:36:27,420 --> 00:36:29,580
I get $50 a day in expenses

701
00:36:29,580 --> 00:36:31,040
when I can get 'em, gentlemen,

702
00:36:32,130 --> 00:36:33,510
and I owe Ms. Skeffington here

703
00:36:33,510 --> 00:36:35,130
three years and two months back pay,

704
00:36:35,130 --> 00:36:36,170
isn't that right, angel?

705
00:36:36,170 --> 00:36:38,550
- I don't care about the money, Sam.

706
00:36:38,550 --> 00:36:39,970
- Neither do I.

707
00:36:39,970 --> 00:36:41,140
Now if one of you gentlemen

708
00:36:41,140 --> 00:36:43,180
would be so kind as to
give my lady friend here

709
00:36:43,180 --> 00:36:45,230
a glass of cheap white wine,

710
00:36:45,230 --> 00:36:47,890
I'm going down the hall to find the can.

711
00:36:47,890 --> 00:36:50,020
Talk so much sometimes, I forget to go.

712
00:36:53,570 --> 00:36:57,240
- Please excuse Sam, he was
shot in the head last week.

713
00:36:57,240 --> 00:36:59,070
He shouldn't even be out of the hospital.

714
00:36:59,070 --> 00:37:00,700
- Well, if you ask me,

715
00:37:00,700 --> 00:37:02,200
I think the fellow's pretty damned honest.

716
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:03,410
- [Dora] Dicky, language.

717
00:37:03,410 --> 00:37:06,290
- Miss Jessica Marbles and nurse.

718
00:37:07,540 --> 00:37:10,250
(dramatic music)

719
00:37:15,420 --> 00:37:18,550
- oh, Ms. Marbles, so we finally meet.

720
00:37:19,550 --> 00:37:24,510
I've admired you ever since
I was tiny little detective.

721
00:37:24,810 --> 00:37:26,430
- Thank you, Mr. Wang.

722
00:37:26,430 --> 00:37:29,350
I am Jessica Marbles.

723
00:37:29,350 --> 00:37:32,150
This is Ms. withers, my nurse.

724
00:37:32,150 --> 00:37:34,400
She has been with me 52 years.

725
00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:36,480
I have to take care of the poor dear now.

726
00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:38,900
Are you all right, Ms. withers?

727
00:37:40,070 --> 00:37:42,030
Do you want your medicine now?

728
00:37:42,030 --> 00:37:43,070
- Well, well.

729
00:37:44,780 --> 00:37:46,240
(dramatic music)

730
00:37:46,240 --> 00:37:47,120
- ooh, ooh.

731
00:37:51,330 --> 00:37:52,790
- She's off.

732
00:37:52,790 --> 00:37:55,880
I could use a good stiff
shot, Mr. Charleston.

733
00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:58,130
I believe the booze, as you call it,

734
00:37:58,130 --> 00:37:59,380
is your department.

735
00:37:59,380 --> 00:38:01,090
- My pleasure, madame.

736
00:38:01,090 --> 00:38:03,090
- Who is the old geezer?

737
00:38:03,090 --> 00:38:03,890
- Sam.

738
00:38:05,010 --> 00:38:07,470
- Jessie, baby.
- Sam Diamond.

739
00:38:09,350 --> 00:38:11,270
- Mr. Diamond, you have a
bullet hole in your back.

740
00:38:11,270 --> 00:38:13,270
- You should see the other guy.

741
00:38:13,270 --> 00:38:15,150
(man groans)

742
00:38:15,150 --> 00:38:16,860
- Quiet please.

743
00:38:16,860 --> 00:38:19,940
Observe strange sound.

744
00:38:19,940 --> 00:38:22,320
(man groans)

745
00:38:24,660 --> 00:38:26,660
- My god, it's the face.

746
00:38:26,660 --> 00:38:28,500
It's coming from the face.

747
00:38:28,500 --> 00:38:31,120
(man groans)

748
00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:33,830
- Actually, hes going through his
final moments of death

749
00:38:33,830 --> 00:38:34,670
what could it mean?

750
00:38:34,670 --> 00:38:36,590
- It means dinner, sir.

751
00:38:36,590 --> 00:38:37,670
We have no gong.

752
00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:41,220
(light music)

753
00:38:44,550 --> 00:38:47,220
(glass lightly dings)

754
00:38:47,220 --> 00:38:50,560
- Ladies and gentlemen, I
would like to make a toast.

755
00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:52,230
Our host, Mr. Lionel Twain,

756
00:38:52,230 --> 00:38:55,150
is indeed a most unique man.

757
00:38:55,150 --> 00:38:57,520
Point one, he has succeeded in gathering

758
00:38:57,520 --> 00:38:59,940
the world's five greatest detectives

759
00:38:59,940 --> 00:39:03,360
to investigate a crime that
has not yet been committed.

760
00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:06,370
Point two, he has set traps for us,

761
00:39:06,370 --> 00:39:07,740
a bridge that almost collapses,

762
00:39:07,740 --> 00:39:11,080
falling statues, does he mean to kill us?

763
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:13,580
Certainly not yet, he could
have done that at any time.

764
00:39:13,580 --> 00:39:16,080
He's merely trying to whet our appetites

765
00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:17,790
for the game that is to follow.

766
00:39:17,790 --> 00:39:21,920
Point three, why five
detectives instead of one?

767
00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:24,260
Because he intends to take us all on,

768
00:39:24,260 --> 00:39:25,470
ladies and gentlemen,

769
00:39:25,470 --> 00:39:29,100
a feat that no criminal mind
has heretofore attempted.

770
00:39:29,100 --> 00:39:32,430
Therefore, before this
hellish weekend begins,

771
00:39:32,430 --> 00:39:33,890
I propose that we raise our wine glasses

772
00:39:33,890 --> 00:39:36,980
in a toast to either the most beguiling

773
00:39:36,980 --> 00:39:41,440
and charming man or to an
insidious, fiendish madman.

774
00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:44,240
Bottoms up.

775
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:46,200
- One moment, please.

776
00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:49,950
Point four, wine poisoned.

777
00:39:49,950 --> 00:39:51,700
- What?
- what does it mean?

778
00:39:51,700 --> 00:39:54,160
- An ancient tasteless, colorless,

779
00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:55,830
and odorless oriental herb.

780
00:39:56,880 --> 00:39:58,500
Kills instantly.

781
00:39:58,500 --> 00:39:59,670
Observe, please.

782
00:40:02,590 --> 00:40:03,550
(guests gasps)

783
00:40:03,550 --> 00:40:04,340
- oh.

784
00:40:06,380 --> 00:40:08,300
(guests gasps)

785
00:40:08,300 --> 00:40:11,350
Great Scott, Mr. Wang,
you saved our lives.

786
00:40:11,350 --> 00:40:12,810
- Not quite, Mrs. Charleston.

787
00:40:14,310 --> 00:40:15,270
Bon appetit.

788
00:40:16,140 --> 00:40:17,770
- No, no.
- oh Jesus.

789
00:40:19,610 --> 00:40:21,110
- Since Monsieur Wang was the only one

790
00:40:21,110 --> 00:40:22,570
who could detect such a poison,

791
00:40:22,570 --> 00:40:24,530
he was the only one who was tested.

792
00:40:24,530 --> 00:40:29,490
Point five, Monsieur Twain is
both beguiling and fiendish.

793
00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:31,950
Murder.

794
00:40:32,950 --> 00:40:33,790
- Oh.

795
00:40:33,790 --> 00:40:35,160
Oh, get a doctor quick.

796
00:40:36,410 --> 00:40:38,790
- No, no-it's alright.
My wine is not poisoned.

797
00:40:38,790 --> 00:40:40,130
It was just a bad year.

798
00:40:42,090 --> 00:40:43,710
- Good work, Mr. Wang.

799
00:40:43,710 --> 00:40:46,880
We must be all on our guard through
every course of the meal.

800
00:40:47,970 --> 00:40:49,800
- You're all forgetting one thing.

801
00:40:51,430 --> 00:40:53,350
This makes the butler pretty suspicious

802
00:40:53,350 --> 00:40:55,310
since he's the one who poured the wine.

803
00:40:55,310 --> 00:40:57,560
- Except for the fact,
monsieur, that he is blind.

804
00:40:57,560 --> 00:40:58,650
How would he know which one to serve

805
00:40:58,650 --> 00:40:59,600
the poisoned glass to?

806
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:01,650
- That's very simple.

807
00:41:01,650 --> 00:41:04,650
Blind people have a very
keen sense of smell.

808
00:41:05,610 --> 00:41:07,110
Since we're all Anglo Saxon

809
00:41:07,110 --> 00:41:09,700
and Mr. Wang’s son is Japanese,

810
00:41:09,700 --> 00:41:12,330
it wouldn't be hard to
sniff out the Chinaman.

811
00:41:12,330 --> 00:41:13,950
- [Dick] see how, Diamond,
that's a pretty tacky thing

812
00:41:13,950 --> 00:41:14,740
to say, isn't it?

813
00:41:14,740 --> 00:41:17,500
- [Sam] well, it's a pretty
tacky world, Mr. Charleston.

814
00:41:17,500 --> 00:41:18,830
Isn't that right, angel?

815
00:41:18,830 --> 00:41:20,290
- Right, Sam.

816
00:41:20,290 --> 00:41:21,290
- Quiet, please.

817
00:41:21,290 --> 00:41:22,630
Butler approaches.

818
00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:25,630
- I apologize for the delay.

819
00:41:25,630 --> 00:41:27,840
I seem to be having some
communication problems

820
00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:29,300
with the cook.

821
00:41:29,300 --> 00:41:30,680
- Who poured the wine?

822
00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:32,600
- Mr. Twain, sir.

823
00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:36,140
It was left for me on a
tray in the refrigerator.

824
00:41:36,140 --> 00:41:37,890
I was told to give Mr. Wang

825
00:41:37,890 --> 00:41:40,230
the glass with the sticky stem.

826
00:41:40,230 --> 00:41:42,060
- And you didn't bother to ask why?

827
00:41:42,060 --> 00:41:44,730
- I was lucky to find
the refrigerator, sir.

828
00:41:44,730 --> 00:41:47,070
If I may serve the soup now?

829
00:41:47,070 --> 00:41:48,860
- By all means.

830
00:41:48,860 --> 00:41:51,570
(dramatic music)

831
00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:01,750
oh, yes, I am famished.

832
00:42:01,750 --> 00:42:04,380
(playful music)

833
00:42:18,390 --> 00:42:19,640
where is the soup?

834
00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:21,520
- In your dish, sir.

835
00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:23,900
- There is nothing in my dish but my dish.

836
00:42:24,810 --> 00:42:26,400
- I don't understand, sir.

837
00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:28,650
- Here, take the spoon.

838
00:42:28,650 --> 00:42:29,990
Taste it for yourself.

839
00:42:31,150 --> 00:42:33,870
(dramatic music)

840
00:42:39,330 --> 00:42:41,370
- I see what you mean, sir.

841
00:42:41,370 --> 00:42:42,210
If you'll excuse me,

842
00:42:42,210 --> 00:42:44,830
Id better have a little
talk with the cook.

843
00:42:47,550 --> 00:42:50,920
- Murder by starvation,
maybe that's his game.

844
00:42:52,510 --> 00:42:53,800
What do you think, Sam?

845
00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:54,640
- I don't know, Jess,

846
00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:56,050
why don't you ask the moose on the wall?

847
00:42:56,050 --> 00:42:57,970
He's been watching us since we came in.

848
00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:02,520
(group gasps)

849
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:03,730
- 10 people for dinner,

850
00:43:03,730 --> 00:43:05,400
and I'm serving them hot nothing.

851
00:43:06,860 --> 00:43:08,320
You can't get good help today.

852
00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:17,330
You're fired, you understand, fired.

853
00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:21,160
I want you out, you hear, out.

854
00:43:27,710 --> 00:43:28,750
And stay out.

855
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:33,470
- Something just occurred to me.

856
00:43:33,470 --> 00:43:34,760
The seating's all wrong.

857
00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:36,220
- How so, Mr. Charleston.

858
00:43:36,220 --> 00:43:37,890
- I'm sitting next to Dora.

859
00:43:37,890 --> 00:43:38,720
- Well, what's wrong with that?

860
00:43:38,720 --> 00:43:40,430
She's your wife, isn't she?

861
00:43:40,430 --> 00:43:42,770
- Exactly, at a proper dinner party,

862
00:43:42,770 --> 00:43:44,560
the husband is never
seated next to the wife.

863
00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:46,560
Actually I should be on the
opposite side of the table.

864
00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:48,400
Mr. Wang, will you change places with me.

865
00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:49,570
- Now, Mr. Charleston.

866
00:43:49,570 --> 00:43:50,940
- Now, Mr. Wang.

867
00:43:50,940 --> 00:43:54,360
(distant screams)
(swords clanking)

868
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:55,150
Just as I thought.

869
00:43:55,150 --> 00:43:57,070
Another test that could
have cost us our lives.

870
00:43:57,070 --> 00:44:00,540
Saved only by the fact that
I am enormously well bred.

871
00:44:00,540 --> 00:44:01,370
- Lucky it wasn't me.

872
00:44:01,370 --> 00:44:02,700
I'd have been chopped liver by now.

873
00:44:04,370 --> 00:44:06,500
(dramatic music)

874
00:44:06,500 --> 00:44:07,330
(crowd shouting)

875
00:44:07,330 --> 00:44:08,500
- Turn on the lights.
- Get back.

876
00:44:08,500 --> 00:44:09,840
- [Wang] Silence, please.

877
00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:11,170
Do not panic.

878
00:44:11,170 --> 00:44:13,340
No person move from place.

879
00:44:13,340 --> 00:44:14,170
- [Sam] someone just came into the room.

880
00:44:14,170 --> 00:44:15,010
I hear footsteps.

881
00:44:15,010 --> 00:44:17,510
- Oh, God.
- wait, quiet, everyone.

882
00:44:18,430 --> 00:44:19,640
I smell something.

883
00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:21,310
- [Jessie] what is it?

884
00:44:21,310 --> 00:44:22,810
- Good god.

885
00:44:22,810 --> 00:44:24,350
Franks and beans.

886
00:44:24,350 --> 00:44:27,060
- I'm afraid that's all we have, sir.

887
00:44:27,060 --> 00:44:27,900
- [Dora] Dicky, don't.

888
00:44:27,900 --> 00:44:29,980
You know how I get when
you touch me there.

889
00:44:29,980 --> 00:44:31,610
- [Dick] Not me, darling, I
got my hands in my pockets.

890
00:44:31,610 --> 00:44:33,730
- Oh.
- I'm afraid they're my pockets.

891
00:44:33,730 --> 00:44:36,570
- Oh, sorry about that.
- Dicky, behave yourself.

892
00:44:36,570 --> 00:44:39,700
(dramatic music)

893
00:44:39,700 --> 00:44:42,200
- [Lionel] Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

894
00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:44,370
I am your host, Lionel Twain.

895
00:44:45,290 --> 00:44:47,750
(eerie music)

896
00:44:48,790 --> 00:44:51,670
(mystifying music)

897
00:44:59,890 --> 00:45:02,220
- Good god, what an entrance.

898
00:45:02,220 --> 00:45:05,140
- Oh, a bit theatrical, Ms. Marbles,

899
00:45:05,140 --> 00:45:07,390
but I do so love illusion.

900
00:45:07,390 --> 00:45:10,310
Please forgive my hat, I'm losing my hair.

901
00:45:10,310 --> 00:45:13,070
- I thought Twain was an
older man, say 72, 73.

902
00:45:14,150 --> 00:45:17,650
- 76 to be exact, Mr. Diamond.

903
00:45:17,650 --> 00:45:19,700
How do I look so young?

904
00:45:19,700 --> 00:45:23,370
Quiet simple, a complete vegetable diet,

905
00:45:23,370 --> 00:45:25,120
12 hours sleep a night,

906
00:45:25,120 --> 00:45:28,250
and lots and lots of makeup.

907
00:45:28,250 --> 00:45:31,290
I trust you've all been made comfortable.

908
00:45:31,290 --> 00:45:32,710
- Comfortable, Mr. Twain?

909
00:45:32,710 --> 00:45:36,550
Do you call poisoned wine and
near decapitation comfortable?

910
00:45:36,550 --> 00:45:37,840
- [Lionel] No.

911
00:45:37,840 --> 00:45:39,930
I call it inspiration.

912
00:45:39,930 --> 00:45:41,220
- You still have not explained

913
00:45:41,220 --> 00:45:43,300
the various mechanical
and culinary attempts

914
00:45:43,300 --> 00:45:44,970
on our lives, Monsieur Twain.

915
00:45:44,970 --> 00:45:47,850
- Merely games, Monsieur Perrier.

916
00:45:47,850 --> 00:45:51,060
Pitting wits with you, so to speak.

917
00:45:51,060 --> 00:45:52,810
- You pit your wits with me, little man,

918
00:45:52,810 --> 00:45:54,150
and you won't have your wits to pit with,

919
00:45:54,150 --> 00:45:55,230
know what I mean?

920
00:45:55,230 --> 00:45:57,070
- Sam, you're spitting on the nurse.

921
00:45:58,070 --> 00:45:59,700
- Sorry, old lady.

922
00:45:59,700 --> 00:46:01,950
Crazy broad should be in bed.

923
00:46:01,950 --> 00:46:04,240
- Mr. Twain, we have been
here nearly four hours,

924
00:46:04,240 --> 00:46:06,120
and there has not been
a hint of a hot dinner

925
00:46:06,120 --> 00:46:07,540
or a cold corpse.

926
00:46:07,540 --> 00:46:09,870
I must therefore bid you adieu.

927
00:46:09,870 --> 00:46:11,750
- I bid one adieu as well.

928
00:46:11,750 --> 00:46:14,290
- No one is leaving this house.

929
00:46:14,290 --> 00:46:19,260
(dramatic music)
(loud clanking)

930
00:46:25,350 --> 00:46:26,220
(light tapping)

931
00:46:26,220 --> 00:46:28,770
- what meaning of this, Mr. Twain?

932
00:46:28,770 --> 00:46:30,390
- I will tell you, Mr. Wang,

933
00:46:30,390 --> 00:46:33,100
if you can tell me why a man who possesses

934
00:46:33,100 --> 00:46:34,610
one of the most brilliant minds

935
00:46:34,610 --> 00:46:36,730
of this century can't say his prepositions

936
00:46:36,730 --> 00:46:39,240
or articles, the, Mr. Wang,

937
00:46:39,240 --> 00:46:40,900
what is the meaning of this?

938
00:46:40,900 --> 00:46:42,740
- That's what I said.

939
00:46:42,740 --> 00:46:44,870
What meaning of this?

940
00:46:44,870 --> 00:46:48,080
- The meaning of this
is that I have decided

941
00:46:48,080 --> 00:46:50,660
to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt

942
00:46:50,660 --> 00:46:54,080
that the greatest living
criminologist in the world

943
00:46:54,080 --> 00:46:55,880
is sitting at this table,

944
00:46:55,880 --> 00:46:57,800
and you are all looking at him.

945
00:46:58,880 --> 00:47:01,220
No, don't look at each other.

946
00:47:01,220 --> 00:47:03,380
Look at me, I'm the greatest.

947
00:47:03,380 --> 00:47:05,260
I'm number one.

948
00:47:05,260 --> 00:47:07,810
- To me, you look like
number two, know what I mean?

949
00:47:08,930 --> 00:47:10,640
- What does he mean, Ms. Skeffington?

950
00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:13,020
- I'll tell you later, it's disgusting.

951
00:47:13,020 --> 00:47:15,060
- In all your various adventures,

952
00:47:15,060 --> 00:47:17,690
monsieurs and madames, not one of you

953
00:47:17,690 --> 00:47:20,190
has ever had an unsolved murder.

954
00:47:20,190 --> 00:47:23,400
Your reputations exist
on this single fact,

955
00:47:24,450 --> 00:47:27,700
but what would the world say

956
00:47:27,700 --> 00:47:30,490
if the five greatest living detectives

957
00:47:30,490 --> 00:47:32,710
found themselves trapped
in a country house

958
00:47:32,710 --> 00:47:36,250
at the weekend, shut off
from the outside world,

959
00:47:36,250 --> 00:47:39,340
only to discover a dead body on the floor

960
00:47:39,340 --> 00:47:42,670
stabbed 12 times in the
back with a butcher's knife,

961
00:47:42,670 --> 00:47:47,600
and not one of you,
able to solve the crime.

962
00:47:48,720 --> 00:47:49,640
- You mean murder?

963
00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:51,390
- Dora, please, we're talking shop.

964
00:47:51,390 --> 00:47:53,850
- Yes, murder, Mrs. Charleston.

965
00:47:53,850 --> 00:47:55,900
On the stroke of midnight,

966
00:47:55,900 --> 00:47:59,270
someone in this house is going
to be viciously murdered.

967
00:47:59,270 --> 00:48:02,690
- Left out one small detail, Mr. Twain.

968
00:48:04,070 --> 00:48:05,320
Who victim?

969
00:48:06,410 --> 00:48:08,990
- Is the, is the,

970
00:48:08,990 --> 00:48:10,910
who is the victim?

971
00:48:10,910 --> 00:48:11,990
That drives me crazy.

972
00:48:11,990 --> 00:48:14,660
- Sounds like a short ride to me.

973
00:48:14,660 --> 00:48:16,290
- Does it, Mr. Diamond.

974
00:48:16,290 --> 00:48:19,090
Well, we shall see who is sane

975
00:48:19,090 --> 00:48:20,960
and who is crazy around here.

976
00:48:23,010 --> 00:48:25,760
Mr. Wang, the victim is here

977
00:48:25,760 --> 00:48:28,590
at this very table, at this very moment,

978
00:48:28,590 --> 00:48:32,890
and so too, ladies and
gentlemen, is the murderer.

979
00:48:33,810 --> 00:48:35,600
- Murder-poo?

980
00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:36,730
- [Jessica] Yes, dear.

981
00:48:36,730 --> 00:48:39,520
We're going to have a lovely Murder-poo.

982
00:48:40,730 --> 00:48:42,020
- Why don't you push her wheelchair

983
00:48:42,020 --> 00:48:44,570
down a driveway, we got business here.

984
00:48:44,570 --> 00:48:46,610
You say you know who's gonna get it?

985
00:48:46,610 --> 00:48:47,700
- Intimately.

986
00:48:47,700 --> 00:48:49,570
- And you know how the
crime is to be committed?

987
00:48:49,570 --> 00:48:50,410
- [Lionel] Definitely'

988
00:48:50,410 --> 00:48:52,950
- And exactly what time
murder to take place?

989
00:48:52,950 --> 00:48:55,910
- [Lionel] The murder, precisely.

990
00:48:55,910 --> 00:48:57,620
- Well, I know it's none of my business,

991
00:48:57,620 --> 00:49:00,380
but doesn't that mean that
you're the murderer, Mr. Twain?

992
00:49:00,380 --> 00:49:04,000
- No wives, I refuse to
discuss this with wives.

993
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:05,800
- Dora's quite right, all fingers do seem

994
00:49:05,800 --> 00:49:08,050
to point to you, not much
of a challenge, I'd say.

995
00:49:08,050 --> 00:49:11,180
- Shall I make it more
interesting, Mr. Charleston?

996
00:49:11,180 --> 00:49:14,430
One million dollars to the
one who solves the crime

997
00:49:14,430 --> 00:49:17,310
wagered against your reputations.

998
00:49:17,310 --> 00:49:19,650
One million dollars in tax free cash,

999
00:49:19,650 --> 00:49:22,060
in addition, all the paperback rights

1000
00:49:22,060 --> 00:49:23,730
and the film sale.

1001
00:49:23,730 --> 00:49:25,860
It's 11 o'clock, amigos,

1002
00:49:25,860 --> 00:49:29,530
just one hour before death
strikes someone in this room.

1003
00:49:29,530 --> 00:49:32,240
See ya at midnight, toodle ooh.

1004
00:49:33,330 --> 00:49:35,700
(dramatic music)

1005
00:49:35,700 --> 00:49:36,870
- See here, Mr. Twain.

1006
00:49:39,290 --> 00:49:40,120
- [Jessica] He's gone.

1007
00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:42,380
- No, he's not, he's down there.

1008
00:49:42,380 --> 00:49:43,670
- Oh.

1009
00:49:43,670 --> 00:49:45,800
- Fast little bunny rabbit, ain't you?

1010
00:49:45,800 --> 00:49:47,670
- I never moved, Mr. Diamond.

1011
00:49:47,670 --> 00:49:49,260
I'm still down there.

1012
00:49:49,260 --> 00:49:51,300
A little stunt done with mirrors.

1013
00:49:51,300 --> 00:49:52,140
- Is that so?

1014
00:49:53,390 --> 00:49:55,510
Willing to risk seven years bad luck?

1015
00:49:55,510 --> 00:49:56,930
- Try it, Mr. Diamond.

1016
00:49:56,930 --> 00:49:58,770
- It's your funeral, butterball.

1017
00:50:00,560 --> 00:50:02,270
- Wait, wait.

1018
00:50:02,270 --> 00:50:03,860
Sometimes it doesn't work.

1019
00:50:06,230 --> 00:50:09,320
You've won this round, Mr. Diamond.

1020
00:50:09,320 --> 00:50:11,910
My turn comes at midnight.

1021
00:50:11,910 --> 00:50:14,620
(dramatic music)

1022
00:50:20,710 --> 00:50:22,750
- I hope he knows how to stop that thing.

1023
00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:26,800
- If you ask me, anybody
that offers a million bucks

1024
00:50:26,800 --> 00:50:28,880
to solve a crime that
ain't been committed yet,

1025
00:50:28,880 --> 00:50:31,510
there's a lot more upstairs than his hair.

1026
00:50:31,510 --> 00:50:32,510
- What do we all do now?

1027
00:50:32,510 --> 00:50:33,800
Just sit around and wait for one of us

1028
00:50:33,800 --> 00:50:34,720
to be butchered?

1029
00:50:34,720 --> 00:50:36,640
- And what has happened to the butler?

1030
00:50:36,640 --> 00:50:37,890
Why has he not returned?

1031
00:50:38,850 --> 00:50:40,390
With our dinner?

1032
00:50:40,390 --> 00:50:41,980
Go look for him.
- oui, monsieur.

1033
00:50:41,980 --> 00:50:44,270
- No, no one to leave this room.

1034
00:50:44,270 --> 00:50:45,560
- [Willie] Why not, Pa?

1035
00:50:45,560 --> 00:50:48,070
- Twain say victim at this table.

1036
00:50:48,070 --> 00:50:49,940
If we all stay together,

1037
00:50:49,940 --> 00:50:52,240
crime cannot be committed
without witnesses.

1038
00:50:52,240 --> 00:50:55,240
- He's right, you're one
smart Chinaman, Mr. Wang.

1039
00:50:55,240 --> 00:50:57,030
- I suggest we all join hands.

1040
00:50:57,030 --> 00:51:00,000
The chain is stronger if
the links are unbroken.

1041
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:01,210
Join hands, please.

1042
00:51:03,670 --> 00:51:06,130
(clock ticks)

1043
00:51:13,970 --> 00:51:14,760
- Stop that.

1044
00:51:19,010 --> 00:51:20,810
Stop it, I said.

1045
00:51:20,810 --> 00:51:22,640
- What is it, Diamond?

1046
00:51:22,640 --> 00:51:24,400
- The nurse is giving my palm the finger,

1047
00:51:24,400 --> 00:51:26,020
the dirty, old broad.

1048
00:51:26,020 --> 00:51:27,650
- Naughty, naughty Ms. withers.

1049
00:51:27,650 --> 00:51:30,860
(Ms. withers laughing)

1050
00:51:33,490 --> 00:51:34,530
- Good God.

1051
00:51:34,530 --> 00:51:36,160
- What is it?
- Look.

1052
00:51:41,040 --> 00:51:42,410
- [Tess] what is she doing?

1053
00:51:42,410 --> 00:51:43,660
- I think she's screaming.

1054
00:51:43,660 --> 00:51:44,500
- What is it?

1055
00:51:44,500 --> 00:51:45,500
What's happened?

1056
00:51:45,500 --> 00:51:46,750
- Something wrong in kitchen.

1057
00:51:46,750 --> 00:51:47,920
- With our dinner.

1058
00:51:47,920 --> 00:51:49,210
- No, patience, patience.

1059
00:51:49,210 --> 00:51:50,340
- Is someone in there?

1060
00:51:50,340 --> 00:51:51,920
- Someone in the kitchen with dinner?

1061
00:51:51,920 --> 00:51:53,340
- Cook cannot speak or hear.

1062
00:51:55,260 --> 00:51:56,470
Ah.

1063
00:51:56,470 --> 00:51:59,220
I think butler is dead.

1064
00:51:59,220 --> 00:52:01,100
My name is Yetta.

1065
00:52:01,100 --> 00:52:03,140
I don't work Thursdays.

1066
00:52:03,140 --> 00:52:04,770
- Ask her if she sleeps in, Dicky.

1067
00:52:04,770 --> 00:52:06,100
- We must investigate this, Wang.

1068
00:52:06,100 --> 00:52:06,980
Someone has to go.

1069
00:52:06,980 --> 00:52:08,020
- Not alone.

1070
00:52:08,020 --> 00:52:10,440
Mr. Charleston, Mr.
Diamond, stay with others,

1071
00:52:10,440 --> 00:52:14,490
Ms. Marble, Mr. Perrier and
Wang, we'll investigate.

1072
00:52:17,410 --> 00:52:18,740
- Oh.

1073
00:52:18,740 --> 00:52:19,740
Oh, that's right.

1074
00:52:19,740 --> 00:52:21,200
Just let it all out.

1075
00:52:22,700 --> 00:52:23,500
Here.

1076
00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:26,620
Oh dear.

1077
00:52:26,620 --> 00:52:27,710
(suspenseful music)

1078
00:52:27,710 --> 00:52:28,920
- careful Wang.

1079
00:52:28,920 --> 00:52:30,710
Fingerprints.

1080
00:52:30,710 --> 00:52:31,550
- Ah.

1081
00:52:31,550 --> 00:52:32,340
Yes.

1082
00:52:33,380 --> 00:52:34,880
- Here, take my handkerchief.

1083
00:52:36,130 --> 00:52:39,090
(suspenseful music)

1084
00:52:49,610 --> 00:52:50,440
- Is he?

1085
00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:51,270
- He looks like...

1086
00:52:51,270 --> 00:52:52,070
- Seems like...

1087
00:52:54,110 --> 00:52:55,570
- Touch nothing!

1088
00:52:55,570 --> 00:52:56,780
- Fingerprints.

1089
00:52:56,780 --> 00:52:58,780
- Quite so.

1090
00:52:58,780 --> 00:52:59,780
Pencil.

1091
00:52:59,780 --> 00:53:00,620
- Pencil.

1092
00:53:00,620 --> 00:53:03,580
(suspenseful music)

1093
00:53:15,260 --> 00:53:16,130
- No pulse.

1094
00:53:17,970 --> 00:53:18,760
No heartbeat.

1095
00:53:20,470 --> 00:53:25,220
If condition does not
change, this man is dead.

1096
00:53:25,220 --> 00:53:26,480
- No signs of foul play.

1097
00:53:27,390 --> 00:53:29,520
- Hold on, what's this?

1098
00:53:32,230 --> 00:53:35,730
What do you make of this, Perrier?

1099
00:53:35,730 --> 00:53:36,650
- Poisoned.

1100
00:53:36,650 --> 00:53:40,160
Nest-Ce pas?
- Non, nest-Ce pas. cocoa.

1101
00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:42,780
- At last, we have our murder.

1102
00:53:42,780 --> 00:53:44,160
- Not quite.

1103
00:53:44,160 --> 00:53:47,000
Twain say murder victim
sitting at our table.

1104
00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:48,910
Butler not at our table.

1105
00:53:48,910 --> 00:53:52,670
Butler only killed to
divert us from real murder

1106
00:53:52,670 --> 00:53:54,340
still to come.

1107
00:53:54,340 --> 00:53:55,750
(loudly thumping)
- Look.

1108
00:53:55,750 --> 00:53:56,590
- Ah.

1109
00:53:56,590 --> 00:53:57,800
- One of the knives is missing.

1110
00:53:58,800 --> 00:54:00,680
The butcher's knife, I'll wager.

1111
00:54:00,680 --> 00:54:01,970
- That means the others
are still in danger.

1112
00:54:01,970 --> 00:54:03,430
- What is exact time, please?

1113
00:54:03,430 --> 00:54:04,300
- Yes, yes.

1114
00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:08,060
- 11:31 and 56 seconds.

1115
00:54:08,060 --> 00:54:10,730
57, 58.

1116
00:54:10,730 --> 00:54:13,940
Tell me when to stop, 59, 60.

1117
00:54:13,940 --> 00:54:16,020
- 28 minutes to main murder.

1118
00:54:16,020 --> 00:54:17,400
Quickly back to dining room.

1119
00:54:17,400 --> 00:54:19,150
Must all be together at midnight.

1120
00:54:21,450 --> 00:54:24,870
- Wait a minute.
(all gasping)

1121
00:54:24,870 --> 00:54:27,870
(suspenseful music)

1122
00:54:27,870 --> 00:54:29,330
- [Wang] Hankerchief.

1123
00:54:29,330 --> 00:54:32,290
(suspenseful music)

1124
00:54:41,340 --> 00:54:42,550
- what is it?

1125
00:54:42,550 --> 00:54:44,140
- A bill.

1126
00:54:44,140 --> 00:54:45,850
Everything he has been
arranging for tonight,

1127
00:54:45,850 --> 00:54:47,310
the butler, the cook, the food,

1128
00:54:47,310 --> 00:54:49,020
the dining room chairs, everything.

1129
00:54:49,020 --> 00:54:50,930
- You mean?
- Yes.

1130
00:54:50,930 --> 00:54:53,940
This entire murder has been catered.

1131
00:54:55,310 --> 00:54:56,520
- Wow.

1132
00:54:56,520 --> 00:54:58,610
(suspenseful music)

1133
00:54:58,610 --> 00:55:00,530
- It's Twain's doing, the man is mad.

1134
00:55:00,530 --> 00:55:01,860
- Yes, but no fool.

1135
00:55:01,860 --> 00:55:03,160
I only hope we are in time.

1136
00:55:04,410 --> 00:55:05,240
- Door locked.

1137
00:55:05,240 --> 00:55:06,990
- Sam Diamond probably
locked it from the inside

1138
00:55:06,990 --> 00:55:08,240
as a precaution.

1139
00:55:08,240 --> 00:55:10,040
- Good thinking on Diamond head.

1140
00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:11,040
(knocks on door)

1141
00:55:11,040 --> 00:55:14,000
- [Milo] Diamond, it's Perrier,
it's all right, open up.

1142
00:55:14,960 --> 00:55:16,210
(knocks on door)

1143
00:55:16,210 --> 00:55:18,880
Diamond, Charleston, are you in there?

1144
00:55:18,880 --> 00:55:20,590
- Quickly go back to kitchen,

1145
00:55:20,590 --> 00:55:23,720
get dining room key from
pocket of dead butler.

1146
00:55:23,720 --> 00:55:25,300
- You didn't have to say dead butler.

1147
00:55:25,300 --> 00:55:27,850
It's bad enough I have to
put my hand in his pocket.

1148
00:55:28,850 --> 00:55:33,810
(knocks on door)
(suspenseful music)

1149
00:55:34,900 --> 00:55:37,520
(playful music)

1150
00:55:41,030 --> 00:55:41,900
Holy merde.

1151
00:55:44,450 --> 00:55:47,410
(suspenseful music)

1152
00:55:48,780 --> 00:55:49,740
(knocks on door)

1153
00:55:49,740 --> 00:55:53,830
- [Jessica] Ms. skeffington,
Ms. Skeffington, Ms. withers.

1154
00:55:53,830 --> 00:55:54,870
- He's gone.

1155
00:55:54,870 --> 00:55:55,710
- Who's gone?

1156
00:55:55,710 --> 00:55:56,750
- The butler, his body is missing.

1157
00:55:56,750 --> 00:55:58,290
Here is the key.

1158
00:55:58,290 --> 00:55:59,170
- If butler gone,

1159
00:55:59,170 --> 00:56:00,250
where you find key?

1160
00:56:00,250 --> 00:56:01,630
- In his pocket.
- what pocket?

1161
00:56:01,630 --> 00:56:02,920
- The butler's pocket.

1162
00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:04,760
- Butler gone but pocket still there?

1163
00:56:04,760 --> 00:56:06,890
- Exactly, somebody has stolen his body

1164
00:56:06,890 --> 00:56:08,300
but left his clothes there.

1165
00:56:08,300 --> 00:56:09,890
- Quickly, open the door.

1166
00:56:09,890 --> 00:56:11,680
Something is very wrong here.

1167
00:56:11,680 --> 00:56:12,470
- Ah.

1168
00:56:15,190 --> 00:56:17,310
(dramatic music)

1169
00:56:17,310 --> 00:56:18,650
- Hello?

1170
00:56:18,650 --> 00:56:20,480
Where is everyone?

1171
00:56:20,480 --> 00:56:23,440
- Room filled with empty people.

1172
00:56:23,440 --> 00:56:24,900
- I'll try the other door.

1173
00:56:27,740 --> 00:56:29,660
It's locked from the inside.

1174
00:56:29,660 --> 00:56:31,830
- Strange, both doors locked from inside,

1175
00:56:31,830 --> 00:56:32,870
yet no way out.

1176
00:56:32,870 --> 00:56:34,790
- I don't like it, I
don't like it one bit.

1177
00:56:34,790 --> 00:56:37,000
- I like it but do not understand it.

1178
00:56:38,170 --> 00:56:41,040
Maybe other way out of
room, secret passageway.

1179
00:56:43,380 --> 00:56:47,550
- [Lionel] wrong, there are no
secret passageways, Mr. Wang.

1180
00:56:47,550 --> 00:56:48,640
- You spoke?

1181
00:56:48,640 --> 00:56:50,220
- No.
- Not me.

1182
00:56:50,220 --> 00:56:51,510
- [Lionel] I spoke.

1183
00:56:53,220 --> 00:56:54,770
- Ah, there.

1184
00:56:54,770 --> 00:56:56,690
Voice come from cow on wall.

1185
00:56:56,690 --> 00:56:59,900
- [Lionel] Moose, moose, you imbecile!

1186
00:56:59,900 --> 00:57:00,940
- Where are they?

1187
00:57:00,940 --> 00:57:03,230
What have you done with the
others, you short madman?!

1188
00:57:03,230 --> 00:57:05,990
- [Lionel] Ah-ha, stumped already.

1189
00:57:05,990 --> 00:57:08,410
Need some clues, Monsieur Perrier?

1190
00:57:08,410 --> 00:57:10,070
- Clues, I need no clues from you,

1191
00:57:10,070 --> 00:57:12,780
I find my own clues,
you demented lollipop.

1192
00:57:12,780 --> 00:57:13,620
- Calm yourself.

1193
00:57:13,620 --> 00:57:14,950
Man who argue with cow on wall

1194
00:57:14,950 --> 00:57:16,370
is like train without wheels,

1195
00:57:16,370 --> 00:57:17,460
very soon get nowhere.

1196
00:57:17,460 --> 00:57:19,170
- Oh, be quiet, I'm sick
of your fortune cookies.

1197
00:57:19,170 --> 00:57:21,080
- Oh, man who is sick of fortune cookies--

1198
00:57:21,080 --> 00:57:21,920
- Did you hear what I just said?

1199
00:57:21,920 --> 00:57:22,840
- Is like so many Chinese restaurant.

1200
00:57:22,840 --> 00:57:23,670
- I just said I was
sick of fortune cookies.

1201
00:57:23,670 --> 00:57:24,630
- He gets sick of--

1202
00:57:24,630 --> 00:57:25,460
- Quiet, quiet, just, please.

1203
00:57:25,460 --> 00:57:26,840
- Cow talk again.

1204
00:57:26,840 --> 00:57:29,470
- [Lionel] In need of a hint, Ms. Marbles?

1205
00:57:29,470 --> 00:57:31,680
You all mistake what you assume,

1206
00:57:31,680 --> 00:57:34,640
they never left the dining room.

1207
00:57:34,640 --> 00:57:36,810
Count the numbers one to 10,

1208
00:57:36,810 --> 00:57:40,440
turn the knob and try
again. (laughs maniacally)

1209
00:57:40,440 --> 00:57:42,360
- what the devil does that mean?

1210
00:57:42,360 --> 00:57:43,730
They never left the dining room.

1211
00:57:43,730 --> 00:57:44,860
Certainly they did.

1212
00:57:44,860 --> 00:57:46,690
- Do not mistake what you assume just now,

1213
00:57:46,690 --> 00:57:47,860
quick, counting wrong.

1214
00:57:47,860 --> 00:57:48,820
- What for?

1215
00:57:48,820 --> 00:57:50,910
- We assume others not here,

1216
00:57:50,910 --> 00:57:53,120
but cow say they are in dining room.

1217
00:57:53,120 --> 00:57:55,330
Let us look once more.

1218
00:57:58,290 --> 00:57:59,790
Please close door, Mr. Perrier.

1219
00:58:02,540 --> 00:58:03,880
- I cannot see what possibly--

1220
00:58:03,880 --> 00:58:04,880
- Please, quiet,

1221
00:58:04,880 --> 00:58:06,760
seven, eight, nine, 10.

1222
00:58:08,130 --> 00:58:11,220
Ms. Marbles, be so kind
as to open door, please.

1223
00:58:18,140 --> 00:58:18,980
- Where were you, Wang?

1224
00:58:18,980 --> 00:58:20,600
We was worried.

1225
00:58:20,600 --> 00:58:21,600
- What do you mean where were we?

1226
00:58:21,600 --> 00:58:22,980
Where were you?
- we were here.

1227
00:58:22,980 --> 00:58:24,770
- Didn't you say not to
leave the dining room?

1228
00:58:24,770 --> 00:58:25,820
- And you have not left this room

1229
00:58:25,820 --> 00:58:26,780
since we were gone?

1230
00:58:26,780 --> 00:58:28,690
- Certainly not.
- No, monsieur.

1231
00:58:28,690 --> 00:58:33,530
- Answer simple but question very hard.

1232
00:58:33,530 --> 00:58:34,570
- Where's the butler?

1233
00:58:34,570 --> 00:58:36,370
- Butler completely murdered.

1234
00:58:36,370 --> 00:58:40,580
- Poisoned, yet one of the
butcher's knives is missing.

1235
00:58:40,580 --> 00:58:42,420
- We came back here to inform you,

1236
00:58:42,420 --> 00:58:43,790
but the doors were locked.

1237
00:58:43,790 --> 00:58:46,550
- I went back to get the key
out of the butler's pocket.

1238
00:58:46,550 --> 00:58:48,170
His body was missing.

1239
00:58:48,170 --> 00:58:49,460
He'd been stripped naked

1240
00:58:49,460 --> 00:58:51,680
and his clothes left in his place.

1241
00:58:51,680 --> 00:58:52,880
- I don't understand.

1242
00:58:52,880 --> 00:58:56,220
Why would anybody want to
steal a dead, naked body?

1243
00:58:56,220 --> 00:58:58,020
- Well, dear, there are people who...

1244
00:59:00,730 --> 00:59:02,520
- oh that's tacky.

1245
00:59:02,520 --> 00:59:04,350
That's really tacky.

1246
00:59:04,350 --> 00:59:07,900
- Then we returned here, opened the door,

1247
00:59:07,900 --> 00:59:09,690
but the room was empty.

1248
00:59:09,690 --> 00:59:10,570
You were all gone.

1249
00:59:12,450 --> 00:59:14,910
Oh, the moose head told us not to assume

1250
00:59:14,910 --> 00:59:17,530
that you had ever left the dining room,

1251
00:59:17,530 --> 00:59:21,460
so we counted to 10 and tried it again.

1252
00:59:22,620 --> 00:59:23,500
And here you were.

1253
00:59:24,540 --> 00:59:27,710
I'm not one to use hyperbole,
ladies and gentlemen,

1254
00:59:27,710 --> 00:59:29,340
but I'll tell you this,

1255
00:59:29,340 --> 00:59:30,710
the first time in my life,

1256
00:59:30,710 --> 00:59:32,970
I had the caca scared out of me.

1257
00:59:34,930 --> 00:59:36,050
- I like her.

1258
00:59:36,050 --> 00:59:37,510
I really like her.

1259
00:59:38,560 --> 00:59:39,510
(gun fires)

1260
00:59:39,510 --> 00:59:41,310
- Gunshots, monsieur.
- Gunshots, Pop.

1261
00:59:41,310 --> 00:59:43,640
- Gunshots, Sam.
- Gunshots, Dicky.

1262
00:59:43,640 --> 00:59:45,520
- Huge.

1263
00:59:45,520 --> 00:59:47,690
- All right, this time
Charleston and I will go.

1264
00:59:47,690 --> 00:59:49,650
Everybody else stay in the room.

1265
00:59:49,650 --> 00:59:51,030
Let's go Charleston.

1266
00:59:51,030 --> 00:59:53,650
(curious music)

1267
00:59:56,570 --> 00:59:59,830
- what do you make of all of this, Wang?

1268
01:00:02,250 --> 01:00:04,330
- Is confusing.

1269
01:00:04,330 --> 01:00:06,210
- [Lionel] It, it is confusing.

1270
01:00:06,210 --> 01:00:09,250
Say your goddamn pronouns.

1271
01:00:09,250 --> 01:00:10,050
- Oh.

1272
01:00:11,170 --> 01:00:14,130
(suspenseful music)

1273
01:00:15,090 --> 01:00:16,130
- open the door.

1274
01:00:17,930 --> 01:00:18,760
- Good god!

1275
01:00:18,760 --> 01:00:20,640
- What is it?
- He's back.

1276
01:00:24,560 --> 01:00:25,350
And Au naturel.

1277
01:00:26,850 --> 01:00:27,770
- I don't get it.

1278
01:00:28,730 --> 01:00:31,070
First they steal the body
and leave the clothes,

1279
01:00:32,480 --> 01:00:35,360
then they steal the clothes
and bring the body back.

1280
01:00:35,360 --> 01:00:37,160
Who would do a thing like that?

1281
01:00:37,160 --> 01:00:39,410
- Possibly some deranged dry cleaner.

1282
01:00:39,410 --> 01:00:41,330
- What about the gunshots?

1283
01:00:41,330 --> 01:00:42,660
Why shoot some poor slob

1284
01:00:42,660 --> 01:00:44,500
when he's already been poisoned?

1285
01:00:44,500 --> 01:00:45,870
- True, we heard the gunshots

1286
01:00:45,870 --> 01:00:47,080
but I don't see any bullet holes,

1287
01:00:47,080 --> 01:00:49,500
not on his head, his neck,
his back, or his chest.

1288
01:00:49,500 --> 01:00:50,630
- Look all over him.

1289
01:00:51,630 --> 01:00:52,670
- All over his body?

1290
01:00:52,670 --> 01:00:54,050
- Somebody's gotta do it.

1291
01:00:54,050 --> 01:00:55,340
I'm busy standing guard.

1292
01:00:55,340 --> 01:00:57,340
- Why don't I stand guard,
you look all over the body.

1293
01:00:57,340 --> 01:00:59,260
- All right, we'll take turns.

1294
01:00:59,260 --> 01:01:00,680
You look over the first dead, naked body

1295
01:01:00,680 --> 01:01:02,890
that we find and I'll
look over the second.

1296
01:01:04,560 --> 01:01:06,270
(thunder rumbles)

1297
01:01:06,270 --> 01:01:08,440
Hurry up, we only got eight minutes.

1298
01:01:13,440 --> 01:01:14,230
Oh.

1299
01:01:16,650 --> 01:01:17,490
You see anything?

1300
01:01:17,490 --> 01:01:19,490
- No, I don't see a bullet hole anywhere.

1301
01:01:21,160 --> 01:01:23,200
Hold it, I see something.

1302
01:01:23,200 --> 01:01:24,870
- What is it?

1303
01:01:24,870 --> 01:01:26,200
- Oh, forget it, my mistake.

1304
01:01:26,200 --> 01:01:27,160
Not a bullet hole.

1305
01:01:27,160 --> 01:01:29,370
- If he wasn't plugged,
what about the shots?

1306
01:01:30,540 --> 01:01:32,500
- Divide and conquer?
- what?

1307
01:01:32,500 --> 01:01:33,630
- Another diversion.

1308
01:01:33,630 --> 01:01:35,760
He gives us meaningless
clues to confuse us,

1309
01:01:35,760 --> 01:01:37,760
dangles red herrings before our eyes,

1310
01:01:37,760 --> 01:01:39,430
bedazzles us with bizarre banalities,

1311
01:01:39,430 --> 01:01:40,930
while all the time precious seconds

1312
01:01:40,930 --> 01:01:42,890
are ticking away towards
the truly terrible

1313
01:01:42,890 --> 01:01:44,390
murder still to come.

1314
01:01:44,390 --> 01:01:45,350
- You're good, Charleston.

1315
01:01:45,350 --> 01:01:46,520
You're not my kind of cop,

1316
01:01:46,520 --> 01:01:48,480
but you're smart and you smell good.

1317
01:01:48,480 --> 01:01:49,940
You're not a pansy, I know that,

1318
01:01:49,940 --> 01:01:51,900
but what the hell are you?

1319
01:01:51,900 --> 01:01:53,400
- Classy, I suppose.

1320
01:01:53,400 --> 01:01:55,730
- Dames always fall for a
guy like you, don't they?

1321
01:01:55,730 --> 01:01:56,900
- I don't see what possible interest--

1322
01:01:56,900 --> 01:01:58,150
- Did you ever make it with a waitress?

1323
01:01:58,150 --> 01:01:58,950
- I beg your pardon.
- A waitress.

1324
01:02:00,320 --> 01:02:02,280
Big fat waitress.

1325
01:02:02,280 --> 01:02:04,240
I don't know what them
society dames are like

1326
01:02:04,240 --> 01:02:05,240
in the kip, but you ain't never had it

1327
01:02:05,240 --> 01:02:08,160
till you made it with a
big, fat Blondie waitress.

1328
01:02:09,210 --> 01:02:10,670
If you're ever interested,

1329
01:02:10,670 --> 01:02:11,670
you give me a call.

1330
01:02:17,880 --> 01:02:19,720
- Bizarre little twit.

1331
01:02:19,720 --> 01:02:21,220
- Still not sure about this guy.

1332
01:02:23,140 --> 01:02:26,600
(light suspenseful music)

1333
01:02:29,270 --> 01:02:30,310
what are you doing?

1334
01:02:30,310 --> 01:02:32,560
- I had to wash my hands after...

1335
01:02:32,560 --> 01:02:33,400
- Good.

1336
01:02:33,400 --> 01:02:34,230
- I'll be out in a minute.

1337
01:02:34,230 --> 01:02:36,110
- I'll go ahead, I'll tell the others.

1338
01:02:38,240 --> 01:02:40,360
Well, you're never gonna
believe this, folks.

1339
01:02:41,820 --> 01:02:43,700
All right, where are you?

1340
01:02:43,700 --> 01:02:45,280
What the hell is going on here?

1341
01:02:46,620 --> 01:02:48,750
Charleston, wash up
later, we got problems.

1342
01:02:55,460 --> 01:02:56,590
Locked from the inside.

1343
01:02:59,800 --> 01:03:01,300
That can only mean one thing,

1344
01:03:02,880 --> 01:03:05,350
and I don't know what it is.

1345
01:03:05,350 --> 01:03:06,140
Charleston.

1346
01:03:11,310 --> 01:03:12,770
You're never gonna believe--

1347
01:03:12,770 --> 01:03:15,150
(dog growls)

1348
01:03:23,240 --> 01:03:24,780
- I said I'd be out in a minute.

1349
01:03:33,160 --> 01:03:34,960
- I don't remember closing that door.

1350
01:03:42,130 --> 01:03:43,430
- What happened?

1351
01:03:45,890 --> 01:03:48,810
- [Jessica] what were the gun shots?

1352
01:03:51,220 --> 01:03:53,060
- Did anybody leave this
room since we were gone?

1353
01:03:53,060 --> 01:03:55,440
- So it happened to you, too, Mr. Diamond?

1354
01:03:55,440 --> 01:03:56,560
- Where's my Dicky?

1355
01:03:57,980 --> 01:03:59,860
Sorry, where's my husband?

1356
01:03:59,860 --> 01:04:01,400
- Two minutes to midnight,

1357
01:04:01,400 --> 01:04:03,360
in case anyone is interested.

1358
01:04:03,360 --> 01:04:05,530
- It ain't possible, I'm telling you.

1359
01:04:05,530 --> 01:04:06,990
Eight people in a dining room,

1360
01:04:06,990 --> 01:04:10,540
can't turn into an empty room unless...

1361
01:04:10,540 --> 01:04:11,870
- [Tess] unless what Sam?

1362
01:04:11,870 --> 01:04:13,710
- Unless it never happened.

1363
01:04:13,710 --> 01:04:15,460
- I see your point, Diamond.

1364
01:04:15,460 --> 01:04:17,540
When is a dining room filled with people

1365
01:04:17,540 --> 01:04:19,290
not a dining room filled with people.

1366
01:04:19,290 --> 01:04:21,000
- [Jessica] when there's two dining rooms?

1367
01:04:21,000 --> 01:04:22,170
- Exactly.

1368
01:04:22,170 --> 01:04:23,880
- Two dining rooms.

1369
01:04:23,880 --> 01:04:25,680
- Two dining rooms, two of everything.

1370
01:04:25,680 --> 01:04:27,930
Twain, electronic genius.

1371
01:04:27,930 --> 01:04:30,560
- He has devised a way to move this room

1372
01:04:30,560 --> 01:04:33,350
quickly and silently
in the flash of an eye,

1373
01:04:33,350 --> 01:04:36,350
to be replaced by an exact
duplicate of this very room.

1374
01:04:36,350 --> 01:04:37,600
- I knew it all the time.

1375
01:04:37,600 --> 01:04:39,020
- Oh please.

1376
01:04:39,020 --> 01:04:40,230
I shall demonstrate.

1377
01:04:40,230 --> 01:04:42,440
I shall walk out the door, close it,

1378
01:04:42,440 --> 01:04:43,650
knock three times, enter,

1379
01:04:43,650 --> 01:04:45,860
and you will all be gone, observe.

1380
01:04:45,860 --> 01:04:46,650
M-hm, m-hm, m-hm.

1381
01:04:48,660 --> 01:04:51,370
(knocks on door)

1382
01:04:53,080 --> 01:04:54,790
- I have it all figured out.

1383
01:04:54,790 --> 01:04:56,870
There are two of everything.

1384
01:04:56,870 --> 01:04:59,130
- Oh, Dicky, that's old news.

1385
01:04:59,130 --> 01:05:01,380
- All right, everybody take their seats.

1386
01:05:01,380 --> 01:05:03,170
- [Tess] I'm scared, Sam, hold me.

1387
01:05:03,170 --> 01:05:04,460
- Hold yourself, I'm busy.

1388
01:05:05,510 --> 01:05:07,800
Take the same seats you had before.

1389
01:05:07,800 --> 01:05:08,930
- 40 seconds.

1390
01:05:08,930 --> 01:05:11,180
I'm very worried about Monsieur Perrier.

1391
01:05:11,180 --> 01:05:12,760
- I'm going to look for him.

1392
01:05:12,760 --> 01:05:15,270
- No, sit please, no one to leave room.

1393
01:05:15,270 --> 01:05:16,890
(knocks on door)

1394
01:05:16,890 --> 01:05:18,060
- That's the other door.

1395
01:05:21,650 --> 01:05:22,690
(knocks on door)

1396
01:05:22,690 --> 01:05:24,570
- It's locked, I can't open it.

1397
01:05:24,570 --> 01:05:27,110
- [Jessica] Hurry man, we have 15 seconds.

1398
01:05:27,110 --> 01:05:28,700
- [Sam] Move your hand, chauffeur.

1399
01:05:28,700 --> 01:05:33,660
(gun fires)
(dramatic music)

1400
01:05:34,040 --> 01:05:35,160
- Don't ask.

1401
01:05:35,160 --> 01:05:36,750
- What are you doing in
the butler's uniform?

1402
01:05:36,750 --> 01:05:38,710
- I said don't ask me.

1403
01:05:38,710 --> 01:05:39,710
I don't know.

1404
01:05:39,710 --> 01:05:41,080
It all happened too quickly.

1405
01:05:43,090 --> 01:05:44,380
- The cook.

1406
01:05:44,380 --> 01:05:45,710
Where is the cook?

1407
01:05:46,970 --> 01:05:49,300
- She's gone.
- Never said a word.

1408
01:05:49,300 --> 01:05:50,340
- 10 more seconds.

1409
01:05:50,340 --> 01:05:51,930
Quickly, sit and join hands.

1410
01:05:51,930 --> 01:05:55,430
(suspenseful music)

1411
01:05:55,430 --> 01:05:59,480
- Impossible for murder to
happen now without witnesses.

1412
01:05:59,480 --> 01:06:01,230
- Three, two, one.

1413
01:06:03,110 --> 01:06:08,070
(clock chimes)
(suspenseful music)

1414
01:06:33,340 --> 01:06:34,970
It's over.

1415
01:06:34,970 --> 01:06:36,680
We're safe and sound.

1416
01:06:38,430 --> 01:06:40,980
(knocks on door)

1417
01:06:40,980 --> 01:06:42,900
- oh, that's probably the cook, come in.

1418
01:06:42,900 --> 01:06:45,020
- Darling, the poor woman is stone deaf.

1419
01:06:45,020 --> 01:06:47,150
- I'm sorry, I forgot, come in.

1420
01:06:48,990 --> 01:06:50,990
- Not sound like cook to me.

1421
01:06:52,450 --> 01:06:55,410
(suspenseful music)

1422
01:07:06,170 --> 01:07:07,300
Ah, Mr. Twain.

1423
01:07:09,380 --> 01:07:11,970
You appear to be wrong.

1424
01:07:11,970 --> 01:07:14,090
Nobody here murdered.

1425
01:07:14,090 --> 01:07:14,970
Please to come in.

1426
01:07:17,100 --> 01:07:19,890
(group screaming)

1427
01:07:21,730 --> 01:07:23,390
- [Dora] Is he dead?

1428
01:07:23,390 --> 01:07:24,600
- With a thing like that in his back,

1429
01:07:24,600 --> 01:07:26,190
in the long run, he's better off.

1430
01:07:26,190 --> 01:07:27,110
- Touch nothing!

1431
01:07:27,110 --> 01:07:28,400
- Will you stop saying, touch nothing.

1432
01:07:28,400 --> 01:07:30,650
We're all experienced criminologists.

1433
01:07:30,650 --> 01:07:32,740
I find it insulting,
debasing and redundant,

1434
01:07:32,740 --> 01:07:34,820
to keep telling us to touch nothing.

1435
01:07:34,820 --> 01:07:35,740
- Oh, be quiet, woman.

1436
01:07:35,740 --> 01:07:37,280
- Up yours, fellow.

1437
01:07:37,280 --> 01:07:39,740
- Most amusing, bickering detectives,

1438
01:07:39,740 --> 01:07:42,080
like making giant lamb stew,

1439
01:07:42,080 --> 01:07:43,670
everything goes to pot.

1440
01:07:43,670 --> 01:07:44,920
- Why don't you stop it.
- Be quiet.

1441
01:07:44,920 --> 01:07:46,170
- Please be quiet.
- I am.

1442
01:07:46,170 --> 01:07:47,290
I want you to know.

1443
01:07:47,290 --> 01:07:48,340
(gun fires)

1444
01:07:48,340 --> 01:07:50,710
- Shut up, all of youse, nobody move.

1445
01:07:50,710 --> 01:07:52,340
Stay where you are, everybody.

1446
01:07:52,340 --> 01:07:53,260
- What is it?

1447
01:07:53,260 --> 01:07:54,840
- I have to go to the can again.

1448
01:07:54,840 --> 01:07:56,180
I don't wanna miss nothing.

1449
01:07:57,430 --> 01:07:58,640
- I'm going, too, Sam.

1450
01:08:01,270 --> 01:08:04,020
- I'd rather do this
alone, Tess, thanks anyway.

1451
01:08:08,190 --> 01:08:09,020
- [Dora] The cook?

1452
01:08:10,650 --> 01:08:12,030
- What darling?

1453
01:08:12,030 --> 01:08:12,940
- Well, it's obvious.

1454
01:08:12,940 --> 01:08:14,530
The cook murdered him.

1455
01:08:14,530 --> 01:08:15,570
The butler's dead, all the rest of us

1456
01:08:15,570 --> 01:08:17,910
are in this room except for her.

1457
01:08:17,910 --> 01:08:18,910
No one else could get in or out,

1458
01:08:18,910 --> 01:08:22,000
so that only leaves the
cook, isn't that right?

1459
01:08:22,000 --> 01:08:22,830
- Wrong.

1460
01:08:22,830 --> 01:08:25,420
- Oh, what makes you certain of this, Sam?

1461
01:08:25,420 --> 01:08:27,750
- To drive a knife that
far up a man's back,

1462
01:08:27,750 --> 01:08:30,000
you need a powerful right arm,

1463
01:08:30,000 --> 01:08:32,380
and this arm don't look that strong to me.

1464
01:08:32,380 --> 01:08:33,420
(group gasps)

1465
01:08:33,420 --> 01:08:34,670
- Is that the cook's arm?

1466
01:08:34,670 --> 01:08:36,550
- It ain't the pussycat's tail, lady.

1467
01:08:36,550 --> 01:08:37,760
- (gasps) oh.

1468
01:08:37,760 --> 01:08:40,600
- Oh don't be alarmed,
miss, it ain't real.

1469
01:08:40,600 --> 01:08:42,520
For that matter, neither is the cook.

1470
01:08:44,930 --> 01:08:47,150
I found this before I got to the can.

1471
01:08:50,150 --> 01:08:53,110
Got a little surprise for you folks.

1472
01:08:55,280 --> 01:08:57,860
(everyone gasps)
(dramatic music)

1473
01:08:57,860 --> 01:08:58,820
- The cook.
- A mannequin.

1474
01:08:58,820 --> 01:08:59,990
- No.

1475
01:08:59,990 --> 01:09:01,660
A dummy.

1476
01:09:01,660 --> 01:09:03,870
Perfect in every detail with the exception

1477
01:09:03,870 --> 01:09:06,000
of not being able to
make her hear or speak.

1478
01:09:07,120 --> 01:09:10,460
My hats off to the man
with the shiv in his back.

1479
01:09:10,460 --> 01:09:11,710
Except for the fact that he's dead,

1480
01:09:11,710 --> 01:09:12,840
he was no dope.

1481
01:09:12,840 --> 01:09:14,420
- Nice going, Sam.

1482
01:09:14,420 --> 01:09:17,180
- I hope you all realize
that someone in this room

1483
01:09:17,180 --> 01:09:18,180
is a murderer.

1484
01:09:19,590 --> 01:09:21,350
- For sake of ladies present,

1485
01:09:21,350 --> 01:09:23,560
may I suggest that we all
return to drawing room.

1486
01:09:23,560 --> 01:09:26,100
My son will cover up remains of Mr. Twain.

1487
01:09:26,100 --> 01:09:27,480
- Why do I do all the dirty work, Pop?

1488
01:09:27,480 --> 01:09:29,810
- Because your mother not here to do it.

1489
01:09:29,810 --> 01:09:31,400
Come please.

1490
01:09:31,400 --> 01:09:34,360
(suspenseful music)

1491
01:09:45,790 --> 01:09:47,040
- Give me the bottle, Sam.

1492
01:09:47,040 --> 01:09:48,000
- Excuse me.

1493
01:09:54,050 --> 01:09:55,090
(thunder rumbles)

1494
01:09:55,090 --> 01:09:56,840
- Been getting a headache, Dicky,

1495
01:09:56,840 --> 01:09:58,300
isn't there some way of turning off

1496
01:09:58,300 --> 01:10:00,340
that ridiculous machine.

1497
01:10:00,340 --> 01:10:02,510
- Maybe some gadget outside the window.

1498
01:10:04,680 --> 01:10:07,480
(thunder rumbles)

1499
01:10:08,690 --> 01:10:11,060
sorry, darling, it's raining this time.

1500
01:10:11,060 --> 01:10:13,400
- I suggest we get down to
business and sort the facts.

1501
01:10:13,400 --> 01:10:15,230
It is now 12:30 Sunday morning.

1502
01:10:16,320 --> 01:10:19,110
The doors and windows will
automatically open at dawn,

1503
01:10:19,110 --> 01:10:22,370
and one of us here will be
one million dollars richer,

1504
01:10:22,370 --> 01:10:24,780
and one of us will be going
to the gas chamber to be hung.

1505
01:10:24,780 --> 01:10:26,990
- One, Monsieur Perrier.

1506
01:10:26,990 --> 01:10:28,160
Why not two?

1507
01:10:28,160 --> 01:10:29,960
We all have associates?

1508
01:10:29,960 --> 01:10:31,790
- Why not four or six or eight?

1509
01:10:31,790 --> 01:10:33,380
I don't trust any of youse.

1510
01:10:33,380 --> 01:10:36,000
Maybe I'm just a patsy being
set up to take the fall,

1511
01:10:36,000 --> 01:10:38,260
but I'm not falling for
any of you, you understand?

1512
01:10:38,260 --> 01:10:39,380
- Not even me, Sam?

1513
01:10:40,510 --> 01:10:42,140
- Why don't you fall in
love with the Jap kid

1514
01:10:42,140 --> 01:10:43,300
and get off my back.

1515
01:10:44,300 --> 01:10:46,680
- Can we get back to case, please.

1516
01:10:46,680 --> 01:10:47,720
Time is late,

1517
01:10:47,720 --> 01:10:50,230
and my eyes are getting tired.

1518
01:10:50,230 --> 01:10:52,100
- I thought they always looked like that.

1519
01:10:52,100 --> 01:10:53,730
- Knock if off, Sam.

1520
01:10:53,730 --> 01:10:56,320
- I apologize, this case
is getting on my nerves.

1521
01:10:56,320 --> 01:10:57,440
I'm sorry, slanty.

1522
01:10:58,400 --> 01:10:59,240
- Thank you.

1523
01:10:59,240 --> 01:11:01,700
Now then, facts, please, facts.

1524
01:11:01,700 --> 01:11:03,320
Mr. Twain predicts murder,

1525
01:11:03,320 --> 01:11:07,240
also predicts victim to be
at dining table, correct?

1526
01:11:07,240 --> 01:11:08,450
- Correct.

1527
01:11:08,450 --> 01:11:10,830
- I'm sorry darling, this
is official, correct.

1528
01:11:10,830 --> 01:11:13,670
- Also predicts murder
to take place at midnight

1529
01:11:13,670 --> 01:11:15,960
and predicts number of stab wounds.

1530
01:11:15,960 --> 01:11:19,300
How can this be if he not in
collaboration with murderer?

1531
01:11:19,300 --> 01:11:21,090
- What if Twain did it himself?

1532
01:11:21,090 --> 01:11:22,760
- Murdered himself?

1533
01:11:22,760 --> 01:11:24,390
For what possible reason?

1534
01:11:25,510 --> 01:11:26,720
And how?

1535
01:11:26,720 --> 01:11:29,220
- The motive is simple; ego.

1536
01:11:29,220 --> 01:11:30,890
If we were not to solve this crime,

1537
01:11:30,890 --> 01:11:33,810
he would indeed be named the
world's foremost detective,

1538
01:11:33,810 --> 01:11:35,150
and with an ego like his,

1539
01:11:35,150 --> 01:11:36,060
the fact that he had to die for it

1540
01:11:36,060 --> 01:11:38,520
would be a small price to pay.

1541
01:11:38,520 --> 01:11:41,650
As to how, any man who
can create this chamber

1542
01:11:41,650 --> 01:11:43,150
of electronic marvels

1543
01:11:43,150 --> 01:11:45,200
would certainly be able
to devise a machine

1544
01:11:45,200 --> 01:11:47,780
that would stab himself in
the back 11 or 12 times.

1545
01:11:47,780 --> 01:11:49,540
- That was wonderful, darling.

1546
01:11:49,540 --> 01:11:51,830
I'm so proud of you,
let's go to bed, quickly.

1547
01:11:51,830 --> 01:11:53,250
- One moment, please.

1548
01:11:53,250 --> 01:11:56,420
Very interesting theory, Mr. Charleston,

1549
01:11:56,420 --> 01:11:59,750
but you overlook one very important point.

1550
01:11:59,750 --> 01:12:01,050
- And that is?

1551
01:12:01,050 --> 01:12:02,590
- It's stupid.

1552
01:12:02,590 --> 01:12:06,300
It most stupid theory
I ever heard. (laughs)

1553
01:12:06,300 --> 01:12:07,390
- Do you have a better one?

1554
01:12:07,390 --> 01:12:10,100
- Oh, yeah, much better one.

1555
01:12:10,100 --> 01:12:13,390
You see, I have been doing
my homework, Mr. Charleston.

1556
01:12:13,390 --> 01:12:16,020
For example, I have information

1557
01:12:16,020 --> 01:12:18,900
that your wife's portfolio of stocks

1558
01:12:18,900 --> 01:12:22,490
was seriously depleted in
latest financial crisis.

1559
01:12:22,490 --> 01:12:25,110
In short, you are flat
broke, Mr. Charleston.

1560
01:12:25,110 --> 01:12:27,240
You have been borrowing
money for over two years

1561
01:12:27,240 --> 01:12:30,490
at 17% interest from Mr. Lionel Twain.

1562
01:12:30,490 --> 01:12:32,330
- Broke, Dicky, is this true?

1563
01:12:32,330 --> 01:12:33,540
- I didn't want to tell you now, darling,

1564
01:12:33,540 --> 01:12:35,540
I was saving it for your birthday.

1565
01:12:35,540 --> 01:12:39,920
- One million dollars would
buy great many tight suits,

1566
01:12:39,920 --> 01:12:41,170
would it not, Mr. Charleston?

1567
01:12:41,170 --> 01:12:42,340
- Now see here, Wang--

1568
01:12:42,340 --> 01:12:44,090
- what, dead broke, Dicky?

1569
01:12:44,090 --> 01:12:45,220
- Almost, darling.

1570
01:12:45,220 --> 01:12:47,340
I have $1.17 and some stamps,

1571
01:12:47,340 --> 01:12:48,470
but I did not murder Lionel Twain.

1572
01:12:48,470 --> 01:12:50,850
Now you do believe
that, don't you darling?

1573
01:12:50,850 --> 01:12:52,680
- We'll talk, we'll see.

1574
01:12:53,640 --> 01:12:55,560
- It could have been any one of you.

1575
01:12:55,560 --> 01:12:56,600
Each and every one of us

1576
01:12:56,600 --> 01:12:58,900
was out of that dining room
at one time or another,

1577
01:12:58,900 --> 01:13:01,230
giving ample opportunity
to commit the crime.

1578
01:13:02,440 --> 01:13:03,480
As for motives,

1579
01:13:03,480 --> 01:13:06,280
there's more than ego and cash involved.

1580
01:13:06,280 --> 01:13:08,030
For example, revenge.

1581
01:13:08,030 --> 01:13:10,070
- Meaning what, Mr. Charleston?

1582
01:13:10,070 --> 01:13:11,910
- Meaning that I'm not the only one here

1583
01:13:11,910 --> 01:13:14,540
who's had a past
experience with Mr. Twain.

1584
01:13:14,540 --> 01:13:17,710
Did you know that he was
quite a ladies man in his day?

1585
01:13:17,710 --> 01:13:19,790
- Are you suggesting that someone here--

1586
01:13:19,790 --> 01:13:22,170
- was at one time in
love with Lionel Twain,

1587
01:13:22,170 --> 01:13:24,210
as a matter of fact, he was engaged to

1588
01:13:24,210 --> 01:13:27,170
and jilted Ms. Jessica Marbles.

1589
01:13:27,170 --> 01:13:28,800
(dramatic music)

1590
01:13:28,800 --> 01:13:30,680
Mon dieu!

1591
01:13:30,680 --> 01:13:33,010
- Jesus H. Christ.

1592
01:13:33,010 --> 01:13:35,350
- Jilted 54 years ago at the altar,

1593
01:13:35,350 --> 01:13:37,690
left her there in that
same baggy tweed outfit.

1594
01:13:39,350 --> 01:13:40,520
- Is this true, Jessie?

1595
01:13:40,520 --> 01:13:42,320
- I was not jilted.

1596
01:13:42,320 --> 01:13:44,320
I walked out on him.

1597
01:13:44,320 --> 01:13:47,190
He wanted to fool around
before the wedding.

1598
01:13:47,190 --> 01:13:50,620
- And being the lady you are, you refused.

1599
01:13:50,620 --> 01:13:52,160
- Not completely.

1600
01:13:52,160 --> 01:13:54,240
But it got out of hand.

1601
01:13:54,240 --> 01:13:56,200
He was horrid but I didn't kill him.

1602
01:13:56,200 --> 01:13:57,120
- That's good enough for me.

1603
01:13:57,120 --> 01:13:59,120
What about you, Frenchie?

1604
01:13:59,120 --> 01:14:00,370
- I'm not a Frenchie.

1605
01:14:00,370 --> 01:14:01,250
I'm a Belgie.

1606
01:14:03,500 --> 01:14:05,590
And as for other motives,

1607
01:14:05,590 --> 01:14:07,670
how about patricide?

1608
01:14:07,670 --> 01:14:10,930
- The killing of one's own parent?

1609
01:14:10,930 --> 01:14:12,390
Mean that Lionel Twain was the father

1610
01:14:12,390 --> 01:14:13,850
of someone in this room?

1611
01:14:15,100 --> 01:14:16,430
- He wasn't my father.

1612
01:14:16,430 --> 01:14:18,600
(dramatic music)

1613
01:14:18,600 --> 01:14:19,440
He was my uncle.

1614
01:14:21,650 --> 01:14:23,110
He was very good to me,

1615
01:14:23,110 --> 01:14:25,780
he would take me to the
circus and give me candy.

1616
01:14:26,730 --> 01:14:29,280
We stopped going when I was about 26.

1617
01:14:32,910 --> 01:14:34,410
I'm sorry, Sam.

1618
01:14:34,410 --> 01:14:35,790
- 26?

1619
01:14:35,790 --> 01:14:37,410
What the hell kind of a circus was it?

1620
01:14:37,410 --> 01:14:40,460
- Forgive me, but I was
talking about patricide,

1621
01:14:40,460 --> 01:14:42,000
not unclecide.

1622
01:14:42,000 --> 01:14:44,710
Mr. Twain may have been
your uncle, Ms. Skeffington,

1623
01:14:44,710 --> 01:14:46,710
but he was the illegitimate father

1624
01:14:46,710 --> 01:14:49,300
of Monsieur Sidney Wang.

1625
01:14:49,300 --> 01:14:52,300
(dramatic music)

1626
01:14:52,300 --> 01:14:53,390
- It's not true.

1627
01:14:54,800 --> 01:14:56,350
I was adopted.

1628
01:14:56,350 --> 01:14:57,310
I have my papers.

1629
01:14:58,180 --> 01:15:02,100
That is why I have
adopted all my children.

1630
01:15:02,100 --> 01:15:03,810
- I was wondering.

1631
01:15:03,810 --> 01:15:04,900
- Oh.

1632
01:15:04,900 --> 01:15:07,110
He loved me very much,

1633
01:15:07,110 --> 01:15:10,320
but he was not very observant.

1634
01:15:10,320 --> 01:15:13,280
One day, when I was 19,

1635
01:15:13,280 --> 01:15:15,240
he called me to his study,

1636
01:15:15,240 --> 01:15:17,870
noticed for first time I was oriental

1637
01:15:17,870 --> 01:15:19,500
and kicked me out of house.

1638
01:15:19,500 --> 01:15:21,120
I could have-

1639
01:15:21,120 --> 01:15:22,330
- Killed him, Monsieur Wang.

1640
01:15:22,330 --> 01:15:24,540
- As easily as you, Mr. Perrier,

1641
01:15:24,540 --> 01:15:26,670
Lionel Twain killed the only thing

1642
01:15:26,670 --> 01:15:30,260
you ever loved, Mary Louise Cotille.

1643
01:15:32,340 --> 01:15:35,010
(dramatic music)

1644
01:15:37,140 --> 01:15:39,930
(Milo choking up)

1645
01:15:44,810 --> 01:15:45,650
- Your sweetheart?

1646
01:15:49,320 --> 01:15:50,110
- My poodle.

1647
01:15:52,610 --> 01:15:54,240
He was a most cruel man.

1648
01:15:56,070 --> 01:15:59,830
Monsieur Twain would come
to France every season,

1649
01:16:01,410 --> 01:16:02,410
to hunt poodles.

1650
01:16:04,540 --> 01:16:08,290
The day they brought her
bloodied sequin collar to me,

1651
01:16:08,290 --> 01:16:09,960
I vowed one day I would--

1652
01:16:09,960 --> 01:16:10,760
- Knock him off.

1653
01:16:10,760 --> 01:16:12,470
- Yes, gladly if I had the chance.

1654
01:16:14,590 --> 01:16:15,380
But I did not.

1655
01:16:16,640 --> 01:16:18,550
Someone here beat me to it.

1656
01:16:18,550 --> 01:16:19,970
- So there's more than one reason

1657
01:16:19,970 --> 01:16:21,390
that we was invited here.

1658
01:16:22,480 --> 01:16:26,100
Not only was Twain testing
our skills as detectives,

1659
01:16:26,100 --> 01:16:27,770
but we all have legitimate motives

1660
01:16:27,770 --> 01:16:29,230
for doing the old man in.

1661
01:16:29,230 --> 01:16:32,610
- I've not yet heard
your motive, Mr. Diamond.

1662
01:16:32,610 --> 01:16:34,030
- My motive is unimportant.

1663
01:16:35,280 --> 01:16:38,570
Let's just say that I hated
him enough to kill him.

1664
01:16:38,570 --> 01:16:41,240
- You are closed man, Mr. Diamond.

1665
01:16:41,240 --> 01:16:43,830
You hide many things.

1666
01:16:43,830 --> 01:16:48,130
Could it be that Mr. Twain
discover your secret?

1667
01:16:48,130 --> 01:16:51,130
- I don't know what you're talking about.

1668
01:16:51,130 --> 01:16:54,050
- We know different, do
we not, Ms. skeffington.

1669
01:16:54,050 --> 01:16:58,140
(light dramatic music)

1670
01:16:58,140 --> 01:16:59,890
- Twain picked up Sam in a gay bar.

1671
01:17:01,060 --> 01:17:02,680
- I was working on a case.

1672
01:17:04,060 --> 01:17:06,440
- Every night for sixth months.

1673
01:17:06,440 --> 01:17:08,520
- I got 50 bucks a day in expenses.

1674
01:17:08,520 --> 01:17:09,690
I hate them queeries.

1675
01:17:11,320 --> 01:17:16,360
- Twain had Polaroid
pictures of Sam in drag.

1676
01:17:16,360 --> 01:17:18,200
- I was in disguise.

1677
01:17:18,200 --> 01:17:20,370
Lots of dames go in those joints.

1678
01:17:20,370 --> 01:17:22,540
I never kissed nobody,

1679
01:17:22,540 --> 01:17:24,120
and I never did nothing to a man

1680
01:17:24,120 --> 01:17:25,870
that I wouldn't do to a woman,

1681
01:17:25,870 --> 01:17:27,370
and I didn't kill Twain.

1682
01:17:31,000 --> 01:17:31,790
Bitch.

1683
01:17:32,960 --> 01:17:34,920
- Most interesting.

1684
01:17:34,920 --> 01:17:37,970
All had perfect motives for killing Twain.

1685
01:17:39,140 --> 01:17:41,680
Wonder which one was one who done it?

1686
01:17:43,600 --> 01:17:46,140
- We still have the night to get through.

1687
01:17:46,140 --> 01:17:48,310
If anyone is going to solve this case,

1688
01:17:48,310 --> 01:17:50,600
I say we all get a good night's sleep.

1689
01:17:50,600 --> 01:17:53,520
- And I suggest we all lock our doors.

1690
01:17:53,520 --> 01:17:55,990
One of us is a mad killer,

1691
01:17:55,990 --> 01:17:58,320
not to be trusted.

1692
01:17:58,320 --> 01:18:01,950
(thunder rumbles)

1693
01:18:01,950 --> 01:18:04,580
(doors locking)

1694
01:18:17,010 --> 01:18:19,970
(suspenseful music)

1695
01:18:39,650 --> 01:18:40,450
- Pop.

1696
01:18:41,950 --> 01:18:43,530
- Yeah?

1697
01:18:43,530 --> 01:18:45,240
- Who do you think is the murderer?

1698
01:18:46,160 --> 01:18:48,040
- Must sleep on it.

1699
01:18:48,040 --> 01:18:51,250
Will know in morning when wake up.

1700
01:18:51,250 --> 01:18:53,040
- But what if you don't wake up.

1701
01:18:54,170 --> 01:18:55,040
- Then you did it.

1702
01:18:56,380 --> 01:18:57,210
Go sleep, please.

1703
01:18:59,720 --> 01:19:01,090
- Goodnight, Dad.

1704
01:19:01,090 --> 01:19:03,220
- Shut up, adopted pussy cat.

1705
01:19:05,050 --> 01:19:07,180
(snoring)

1706
01:19:12,060 --> 01:19:14,940
- Should I turn off the steam, Pop?

1707
01:19:16,270 --> 01:19:17,270
- Not steam.

1708
01:19:18,650 --> 01:19:21,650
Someone just put deadly snake in the room.

1709
01:19:22,660 --> 01:19:24,370
Wake me when it come near bed.

1710
01:19:25,280 --> 01:19:28,790
(dramatic music)

1711
01:19:28,790 --> 01:19:30,410
- I want you to know, Dicky, darling,

1712
01:19:30,410 --> 01:19:32,410
that if you're the murderer,

1713
01:19:32,410 --> 01:19:33,420
I'll still love you.

1714
01:19:34,290 --> 01:19:36,670
I don't think it would be
right for us to make love,

1715
01:19:36,670 --> 01:19:38,590
but I'd still love you.

1716
01:19:38,590 --> 01:19:39,840
- No fear of that, my pet.

1717
01:19:41,050 --> 01:19:42,340
Now let's see what we have here.

1718
01:19:42,340 --> 01:19:45,140
We have one missing, dead, naked butler,

1719
01:19:46,220 --> 01:19:48,430
one host with a butchers
knife in his back,

1720
01:19:49,310 --> 01:19:52,310
and one poisonous scorpion
crawling up our sheets.

1721
01:19:52,310 --> 01:19:53,640
- [Dora] Is that what that is?

1722
01:19:53,640 --> 01:19:55,600
- Yes, they can kill instantly.

1723
01:19:55,600 --> 01:19:57,520
I suggest we don't move.

1724
01:19:57,520 --> 01:19:59,150
(dramatic music)

1725
01:19:59,150 --> 01:20:00,570
- [Dora] For how long?

1726
01:20:00,570 --> 01:20:03,070
- Quite possibly for
the rest of our lives.

1727
01:20:03,070 --> 01:20:05,780
(dramatic music)

1728
01:20:07,620 --> 01:20:09,200
- Good heavens.

1729
01:20:09,200 --> 01:20:11,330
I know who the murderer is.

1730
01:20:11,330 --> 01:20:12,710
- Solvey-poo?

1731
01:20:12,710 --> 01:20:16,330
- Yes, Ms. withers, the murderer is...

1732
01:20:16,330 --> 01:20:18,420
(sniffs) Good god, gas!

1733
01:20:18,420 --> 01:20:21,090
- I'm sorry, I can't help it, I'm old.

1734
01:20:21,090 --> 01:20:23,800
- No, no, the other kind of gas.

1735
01:20:23,800 --> 01:20:25,630
The kind that kills.

1736
01:20:25,630 --> 01:20:27,220
- Sometimes my gas.

1737
01:20:27,220 --> 01:20:29,640
- It's seeping in through the vent.

1738
01:20:30,560 --> 01:20:33,180
(playful music)

1739
01:20:39,400 --> 01:20:41,900
It's locked from the outside.

1740
01:20:41,900 --> 01:20:42,740
(door knob jiggling)

1741
01:20:42,740 --> 01:20:44,150
Help!

1742
01:20:44,150 --> 01:20:46,030
- Doesn't smell that bad to me.

1743
01:20:48,160 --> 01:20:50,120
- [Jessica] Help!

1744
01:20:50,120 --> 01:20:52,660
(sultry music)

1745
01:21:02,050 --> 01:21:05,220
- Did I do right, Sam, telling
them about the gay bar?

1746
01:21:06,180 --> 01:21:08,090
- Perfect, sweetheart.

1747
01:21:08,090 --> 01:21:10,180
They took the bait like a dumb halibut.

1748
01:21:10,180 --> 01:21:11,930
Let them think I'm a pansy.

1749
01:21:11,930 --> 01:21:13,390
While they're busy suspecting me,

1750
01:21:13,390 --> 01:21:15,350
one of them is gonna let his pants down.

1751
01:21:18,150 --> 01:21:20,190
- Sam, why do you keep all those naked

1752
01:21:20,190 --> 01:21:22,480
muscleman magazines in your office?

1753
01:21:22,480 --> 01:21:23,820
- Suspects.

1754
01:21:23,820 --> 01:21:25,490
Always looking for suspects.

1755
01:21:25,490 --> 01:21:27,070
(rhythmic ticking)

1756
01:21:27,070 --> 01:21:28,860
what's that ticking sound I hear?

1757
01:21:28,860 --> 01:21:33,700
(dramatic music)
(ticking)

1758
01:21:37,500 --> 01:21:39,330
That ticking sound you hear, Mr. Diamond,

1759
01:21:39,330 --> 01:21:40,460
is a bomb in your room

1760
01:21:40,460 --> 01:21:41,920
that will go off in 30 seconds,

1761
01:21:41,920 --> 01:21:43,300
signed the murderer.

1762
01:21:43,300 --> 01:21:44,510
- [Tess] Quick, Sam, the door.

1763
01:21:44,510 --> 01:21:46,260
- PS, the door is locked.

1764
01:21:46,260 --> 01:21:51,140
(dramatic music)
(ticking)

1765
01:21:53,850 --> 01:21:55,270
I'm sorry about this, Tess.

1766
01:21:56,230 --> 01:21:59,270
And me owing you all that money, too.

1767
01:21:59,270 --> 01:22:00,150
- Well, that's all right, Sam,

1768
01:22:00,150 --> 01:22:01,480
what are we gonna do?

1769
01:22:01,480 --> 01:22:02,480
- I got an idea.

1770
01:22:03,440 --> 01:22:05,610
I don't know whether this
is gonna work or not.

1771
01:22:05,610 --> 01:22:07,240
Quick, turn around.

1772
01:22:07,240 --> 01:22:08,070
- I'm turned, Sam.

1773
01:22:08,070 --> 01:22:09,740
- Whatever you do, baby, don't turn back.

1774
01:22:09,740 --> 01:22:11,990
- But Sam, if anything--
- Do as I say, angel.

1775
01:22:11,990 --> 01:22:13,080
- I will, Sam.

1776
01:22:13,080 --> 01:22:13,910
- Good.

1777
01:22:13,910 --> 01:22:16,950
'Cause I think I'm gonna cry.

1778
01:22:16,950 --> 01:22:20,330
I knew this day, I'm having a bad day.
(Diamond blubbers uncontrollably)

1779
01:22:24,040 --> 01:22:26,590
(Perrier hums)

1780
01:22:32,180 --> 01:22:33,970
- what are you doing in my bed?

1781
01:22:33,970 --> 01:22:35,510
- Well, there's no place
else to sleep, monsieur.

1782
01:22:35,510 --> 01:22:37,560
- Sleep in the car, you
chauffeur, you, go, go, go, go.

1783
01:22:37,560 --> 01:22:39,390
- Oh, you are unfair.

1784
01:22:39,390 --> 01:22:41,400
I will tell everyone
that you wear a toupee.

1785
01:22:41,400 --> 01:22:42,230
- They already know.

1786
01:22:42,230 --> 01:22:44,400
- Then why do you wear it?

1787
01:22:44,400 --> 01:22:46,020
- I didn't know that you knew.

1788
01:22:46,020 --> 01:22:49,780
- Certainly I know, a terrible toupee.

1789
01:22:51,320 --> 01:22:53,200
(loudly exploding)

1790
01:22:53,200 --> 01:22:55,530
- A bomb, across the hall.

1791
01:22:55,530 --> 01:22:57,790
Quickly, the door, the door.

1792
01:22:57,790 --> 01:23:00,500
(dramatic music)

1793
01:23:04,000 --> 01:23:06,550
- It's locked from the outside.

1794
01:23:06,550 --> 01:23:08,840
- You look taller to me.

1795
01:23:08,840 --> 01:23:10,420
Why is that?

1796
01:23:10,420 --> 01:23:11,260
- I don't understand, monsieur.

1797
01:23:11,260 --> 01:23:12,800
I'm not getting taller.

1798
01:23:12,800 --> 01:23:15,220
- If you are not getting taller.

1799
01:23:15,220 --> 01:23:17,010
There is only one alternative.

1800
01:23:17,010 --> 01:23:19,140
The room is getting shorter.

1801
01:23:19,140 --> 01:23:20,770
(dramatic music)

1802
01:23:20,770 --> 01:23:22,690
- oh Mon dieu, the ceiling is coming down.

1803
01:23:25,110 --> 01:23:27,730
(men screaming)

1804
01:23:30,280 --> 01:23:32,990
(glass shatters)

1805
01:23:34,110 --> 01:23:34,950
what will we do?

1806
01:23:34,950 --> 01:23:36,160
- I don't know.

1807
01:23:37,030 --> 01:23:41,160
But this is exactly how
they make goose liver pate.

1808
01:23:41,160 --> 01:23:43,750
(men screaming)

1809
01:23:50,380 --> 01:23:53,340
(suspenseful music)

1810
01:24:13,280 --> 01:24:18,030
- Not so fast, please, do
not cross out Wang name,

1811
01:24:18,030 --> 01:24:20,370
cross out snake instead.

1812
01:24:21,330 --> 01:24:23,210
- Nice shot, Pop.

1813
01:24:23,210 --> 01:24:26,120
Sure wish you weren't
such a heavy sleeper.

1814
01:24:26,120 --> 01:24:26,920
- And now,

1815
01:24:28,840 --> 01:24:29,840
if you please.

1816
01:24:31,300 --> 01:24:34,590
One million dollars, Mr. Bensonmum.

1817
01:24:36,130 --> 01:24:37,470
- [Willie] Banzai, Pop.

1818
01:24:39,260 --> 01:24:41,680
- Very clever of you, Mr. Wang.

1819
01:24:41,680 --> 01:24:45,100
Oh, yes, as you can see, I can see.

1820
01:24:46,270 --> 01:24:48,270
- So I see.

1821
01:24:48,270 --> 01:24:50,690
- Tell me, as the only survivor,

1822
01:24:50,690 --> 01:24:53,240
how did you deduce it was me?

1823
01:24:53,240 --> 01:24:56,860
- Went back to theory seldom used today,

1824
01:24:58,410 --> 01:24:59,580
butler did it.

1825
01:25:01,290 --> 01:25:03,450
- Oh, I hadn't thought of that,

1826
01:25:03,450 --> 01:25:06,620
but how do you account for
my dead body in the kitchen?

1827
01:25:06,620 --> 01:25:09,420
- Oh, body made of plastic.

1828
01:25:09,420 --> 01:25:11,590
Same as plastic cook.

1829
01:25:11,590 --> 01:25:15,050
While we examined plastic butler,

1830
01:25:15,050 --> 01:25:17,090
you murder Lionel Twain.

1831
01:25:18,140 --> 01:25:20,850
- You're a clever little
laundry man, Mr. Wang.

1832
01:25:20,850 --> 01:25:23,140
- But not quite clever enough.

1833
01:25:24,180 --> 01:25:27,270
I'll take that one million
dollars, Bensonmum.

1834
01:25:28,900 --> 01:25:30,520
Alias Irving Goldman.

1835
01:25:32,570 --> 01:25:33,690
- Irving Goldman?

1836
01:25:34,740 --> 01:25:36,280
- Oh yes.

1837
01:25:36,280 --> 01:25:40,740
Irving Goldman was the attorney
of the late Lionel Twain,

1838
01:25:40,740 --> 01:25:42,950
and Lionel Twain died five years ago,

1839
01:25:42,950 --> 01:25:44,750
his body was recently discovered

1840
01:25:44,750 --> 01:25:46,870
in Goldman's filing cabinet.

1841
01:25:46,870 --> 01:25:50,080
Am I correct, Mr. Goldman?

1842
01:25:50,080 --> 01:25:53,380
- Yeah, correct, Ms. Marbles,

1843
01:25:53,380 --> 01:25:56,880
but how did you escape the poison gas?

1844
01:25:56,880 --> 01:25:58,800
- Quite simple, I covered my mouth,

1845
01:25:58,800 --> 01:26:01,300
and let Ms. withers here
breathe in all the gas.

1846
01:26:02,890 --> 01:26:04,260
- Sicky poo.

1847
01:26:04,260 --> 01:26:06,140
- Yes, dear, I know.

1848
01:26:06,140 --> 01:26:08,270
The million dollars please.

1849
01:26:08,270 --> 01:26:09,690
- I wouldn't, if I were you, Goldman.

1850
01:26:09,690 --> 01:26:11,810
Or is it Goldman?

1851
01:26:11,810 --> 01:26:15,190
Actually, it's Mr. Marvin Metzler.

1852
01:26:15,190 --> 01:26:16,690
(dramatic music)

1853
01:26:16,690 --> 01:26:17,650
- Marvin Metzler.

1854
01:26:19,280 --> 01:26:21,570
- Very good, Mr. Charleston,

1855
01:26:22,820 --> 01:26:25,080
but how did you know?

1856
01:26:25,080 --> 01:26:27,750
- The bill in the dead butler's hand.

1857
01:26:27,750 --> 01:26:30,370
Stating that the entire
weekend had been catered,

1858
01:26:30,370 --> 01:26:31,710
only an accountant would have held

1859
01:26:31,710 --> 01:26:32,540
on to a thing like that.

1860
01:26:32,540 --> 01:26:34,460
- Dicky, get the money and let's go.

1861
01:26:34,460 --> 01:26:35,300
- In a moment, darling.

1862
01:26:35,300 --> 01:26:37,880
Goldman was killed last
month while skiing.

1863
01:26:37,880 --> 01:26:41,010
He jumped 200 feet into
a low flying plane.

1864
01:26:41,010 --> 01:26:42,930
- Dicky, I can't wait much longer.

1865
01:26:42,930 --> 01:26:46,640
- You've not lost your
touch, Mr. Charleston,

1866
01:26:46,640 --> 01:26:49,890
but how did you elude the deadly scorpion.

1867
01:26:49,890 --> 01:26:52,230
- Oh we didn't, he stung Dora.

1868
01:26:52,230 --> 01:26:54,060
We have 15 minutes to get to the doctor.

1869
01:26:54,060 --> 01:26:55,400
- Could you explain later, Dicky?

1870
01:26:55,400 --> 01:26:56,230
Let's go now.
- we'll make it, darling.

1871
01:26:56,230 --> 01:26:57,150
Never fear.

1872
01:26:57,150 --> 01:26:58,650
The prize money, Mr. Metzler.

1873
01:26:58,650 --> 01:27:00,030
- Belongs to me, monsieur.

1874
01:27:00,990 --> 01:27:04,530
Marcel, being one of the
world's strongest men

1875
01:27:04,530 --> 01:27:06,620
stopped your ceiling from crushing us,

1876
01:27:06,620 --> 01:27:08,330
at four feet five inches.

1877
01:27:09,330 --> 01:27:13,290
It may be months before we are
able to straighten up again,

1878
01:27:13,290 --> 01:27:14,920
but the million dollars

1879
01:27:14,920 --> 01:27:18,670
will buy a lot of back braces, eh?

1880
01:27:19,670 --> 01:27:23,840
Miss Irene Twain, daughter of Lionel.

1881
01:27:25,010 --> 01:27:25,800
- What?

1882
01:27:27,600 --> 01:27:29,890
- I prefer to be called Rita.

1883
01:27:33,310 --> 01:27:34,520
But how did you know?

1884
01:27:34,520 --> 01:27:37,400
- Never underestimate
a Frenchman's nostrils,

1885
01:27:37,400 --> 01:27:40,030
Ms. Twain, at dinner tonight,

1886
01:27:41,030 --> 01:27:43,910
I smelled your Chanel Number Five.

1887
01:27:43,910 --> 01:27:46,410
It was you who did away with all of them,

1888
01:27:46,410 --> 01:27:49,120
Metzler, Goldman, and your father.

1889
01:27:50,250 --> 01:27:52,120
In fact, if you had your way,

1890
01:27:52,120 --> 01:27:54,420
you would do away with all men,

1891
01:27:54,420 --> 01:27:56,080
would you not, Ms. Twain,

1892
01:27:56,080 --> 01:27:59,670
men who have made you
ashamed and made you suffer

1893
01:27:59,670 --> 01:28:03,590
because you were born with
brains, talent, money,

1894
01:28:03,590 --> 01:28:07,260
everything but that which
you most desired, beauty.

1895
01:28:09,100 --> 01:28:11,430
It is a statement of fact, Ms. Twain.

1896
01:28:11,430 --> 01:28:13,190
That as a man you are barely passable,

1897
01:28:13,190 --> 01:28:17,770
but as a woman, you are a dog.

1898
01:28:17,770 --> 01:28:20,570
- That's your opinion, big boy.

1899
01:28:22,150 --> 01:28:23,070
(dramatic music)

1900
01:28:23,070 --> 01:28:25,030
- And now my money, please.

1901
01:28:25,030 --> 01:28:28,280
With luck, I can still
make dinner at Maxine's.

1902
01:28:29,700 --> 01:28:32,250
- If I were you, I'd just
order a tuna fish sandwich,

1903
01:28:32,250 --> 01:28:34,540
because that dough belongs to me.

1904
01:28:34,540 --> 01:28:37,000
That's right, I'm alive and kicking.

1905
01:28:37,000 --> 01:28:38,750
Ms. Skeffington here dropped your bomb

1906
01:28:38,750 --> 01:28:41,670
down the john and blew
up just as she flushed.

1907
01:28:41,670 --> 01:28:43,800
The seat missed her head by an inch.

1908
01:28:43,800 --> 01:28:45,840
(Tess coughing)

1909
01:28:45,840 --> 01:28:46,800
- I'm all right, JJ.

1910
01:28:48,050 --> 01:28:48,850
- JJ?

1911
01:28:52,640 --> 01:28:55,100
- That's right, folks,
he outsmarted us all.

1912
01:28:56,900 --> 01:28:58,230
Sitting behind that desk

1913
01:28:58,230 --> 01:28:59,860
is the real Sam Diamond.

1914
01:29:01,190 --> 01:29:03,780
My name is Loomis, J.J. Loomis,

1915
01:29:03,780 --> 01:29:06,200
I'm an actor, I do impressions.

1916
01:29:06,200 --> 01:29:08,370
I did the Carson show six times last year.

1917
01:29:09,830 --> 01:29:11,540
Diamond hired me for the weekend.

1918
01:29:12,450 --> 01:29:14,700
Ms. Skeffington here is
actually Vilma Norman.

1919
01:29:14,700 --> 01:29:18,210
She's a cocktail waitress at
the waterbed Motel in Carmel.

1920
01:29:18,210 --> 01:29:19,040
- Hi.

1921
01:29:19,040 --> 01:29:19,920
- Hello.

1922
01:29:19,920 --> 01:29:21,000
- Hi.

1923
01:29:21,000 --> 01:29:23,000
- Diamond hated all of you.

1924
01:29:23,000 --> 01:29:24,170
You were all getting the big money

1925
01:29:24,170 --> 01:29:27,510
and he had that crummy little
office in San Francisco.

1926
01:29:27,510 --> 01:29:28,930
If he proved that he was number one,

1927
01:29:28,930 --> 01:29:31,050
he would get all your rich clients,

1928
01:29:31,050 --> 01:29:33,310
but since I put all the pieces together,

1929
01:29:35,310 --> 01:29:38,480
I figure that money belongs to me.

1930
01:29:40,150 --> 01:29:42,190
Isn't that right, Mr. Diamond?

1931
01:29:45,070 --> 01:29:45,860
- Wrong.

1932
01:29:47,990 --> 01:29:49,320
That would have been so obvious,

1933
01:29:49,320 --> 01:29:51,120
a child could have guessed it.

1934
01:29:51,120 --> 01:29:54,040
No, my dear colleagues, what
you all seem to overlook

1935
01:29:54,040 --> 01:29:57,080
is the most simple and direct solution,

1936
01:29:57,080 --> 01:30:00,920
that I am indeed Lionel Twain.

1937
01:30:00,920 --> 01:30:03,630
(dramatic music)

1938
01:30:04,550 --> 01:30:08,930
You've all been so clever for so long,

1939
01:30:08,930 --> 01:30:11,340
you've forgotten to be humble.

1940
01:30:11,340 --> 01:30:14,970
You tricked and fooled
your readers for years,

1941
01:30:14,970 --> 01:30:16,930
you've tortured us all
with surprise endings

1942
01:30:16,930 --> 01:30:18,850
that made no sense.

1943
01:30:18,850 --> 01:30:21,810
You've introduced characters
in the last five pages

1944
01:30:21,810 --> 01:30:23,730
that were never in the book before.

1945
01:30:24,610 --> 01:30:28,110
You withheld clues and information

1946
01:30:28,110 --> 01:30:31,910
that made it impossible
for us to guess who did it,

1947
01:30:31,910 --> 01:30:34,990
but now, the tables are turned.

1948
01:30:36,660 --> 01:30:39,870
Millions of angry mystery readers

1949
01:30:39,870 --> 01:30:42,130
are now getting their revenge,

1950
01:30:43,340 --> 01:30:46,880
when the world learns I've outsmarted you,

1951
01:30:46,880 --> 01:30:51,340
they'll be selling your
$1.95 books for 12 cents.

1952
01:30:51,340 --> 01:30:53,600
It's check out time, ladies and gentlemen.

1953
01:30:54,550 --> 01:30:56,560
I have your bills ready.

1954
01:30:56,560 --> 01:30:57,350
- Oh.

1955
01:30:58,310 --> 01:31:00,600
- [Lionel] credit cards will be accepted.

1956
01:31:00,600 --> 01:31:03,310
(dramatic music)

1957
01:31:21,960 --> 01:31:24,380
- Then even the scorpion was fake?

1958
01:31:24,380 --> 01:31:26,040
- Everything, the bridge, the maid.

1959
01:31:26,040 --> 01:31:28,960
- [Dora] But you're
sure about the scorpion.

1960
01:31:28,960 --> 01:31:31,050
- Positive, even the fog.

1961
01:31:31,050 --> 01:31:33,050
He made that with a dry ice machine.

1962
01:31:33,050 --> 01:31:34,340
See for yourself.

1963
01:31:34,340 --> 01:31:36,510
- [Dora] Awfully unromantic.

1964
01:31:36,510 --> 01:31:39,220
(dramatic music)

1965
01:31:42,690 --> 01:31:44,940
- Then if he really was Lionel Twain,

1966
01:31:44,940 --> 01:31:47,020
you must really be Sam Diamond.

1967
01:31:48,570 --> 01:31:50,150
- That's right, baby.

1968
01:31:50,150 --> 01:31:53,110
I was in disguise, in
disguise, in disguise.

1969
01:31:53,110 --> 01:31:56,160
You'll work hard for 50
bucks a day in this racket.

1970
01:31:56,160 --> 01:31:57,370
- I guess that means we won't

1971
01:31:57,370 --> 01:31:59,490
be seeing each other again, Sam.

1972
01:31:59,490 --> 01:32:00,660
- Well, that depends.

1973
01:32:00,660 --> 01:32:02,120
I'll be around if you need me.

1974
01:32:03,920 --> 01:32:05,250
All you gotta do is whistle.

1975
01:32:08,040 --> 01:32:10,340
And you know how to
whistle, don't you, baby?

1976
01:32:10,340 --> 01:32:11,590
- Certainly, what do you mean?

1977
01:32:11,590 --> 01:32:13,880
- All right, never mind, forget it.

1978
01:32:13,880 --> 01:32:14,680
You ruined it.

1979
01:32:19,260 --> 01:32:20,640
- I don't understand, Pop.

1980
01:32:20,640 --> 01:32:22,350
Was there a murder or wasn't there?

1981
01:32:22,350 --> 01:32:23,180
- Yes.

1982
01:32:23,180 --> 01:32:25,020
Killed good weekend.

1983
01:32:25,020 --> 01:32:26,060
Drive please.

1984
01:32:26,060 --> 01:32:29,190
(engine revs)

1985
01:32:29,190 --> 01:32:31,900
(dramatic music)

1986
01:33:02,060 --> 01:33:06,980
(woman maniacally laughing)
(curious music)

1987
01:34:35,690 --> 01:34:38,400
(doorbell rings)