1
00:00:03,489 --> 00:00:04,490
Hey, there she is.

2
00:00:04,510 --> 00:00:05,510
How was your dance class?

3
00:00:05,810 --> 00:00:07,650
Cool. Want to see some hip -hop moves, I
learned?

4
00:00:08,010 --> 00:00:09,210
Wait, let me get my posse together.

5
00:00:09,870 --> 00:00:10,870
Mom, turn around.

6
00:00:19,610 --> 00:00:21,190
Who's been watering her chichi?

7
00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:25,810
Whoa, when did that happen?

8
00:00:26,270 --> 00:00:29,890
I don't know. But if they see their
shadows, we got six more weeks of

9
00:00:32,780 --> 00:00:33,780
So, what do you think?

10
00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:36,220
I think you should go upstairs and put
on a sweatshirt.

11
00:00:36,860 --> 00:00:38,720
And another sweatshirt, and then a
sleeping bag.

12
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,800
Dad, relax. It's just a crop top.

13
00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:43,460
Well, the crops are growing too fast.

14
00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:51,040
What happened?

15
00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:55,400
A minute ago, she was my little girl in
pajamas clutching her teddy bear.

16
00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:58,020
And now there's no room for the teddy
bear.

17
00:01:00,700 --> 00:01:02,420
What are you going to do about this,
huh?

18
00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:03,760
What am I supposed to do?

19
00:01:04,140 --> 00:01:06,820
Well, I'll tell you what my mom did to
me when I hit puberty.

20
00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:10,300
She slapped me and she said, that's in
case you do something.

21
00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:14,160
Then she slapped me again and said,
that's in case you like it.

22
00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:16,700
That's terrible.

23
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,020
She was old world, Holmes.

24
00:01:20,900 --> 00:01:24,800
Hey, Mom, how old were you when, you
know, your crops came in?

25
00:01:25,580 --> 00:01:26,580
I was 16.

26
00:01:27,220 --> 00:01:28,720
Yeah, but you got pregnant at 17.

27
00:01:30,740 --> 00:01:31,740
Angie!

28
00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:32,920
Angie!

29
00:01:33,930 --> 00:01:36,170
Listen, I'm right in the middle of Mr.
Needle's hydrotherapy.

30
00:01:37,830 --> 00:01:39,730
Angie, have you seen what Carmen looks
like in her dance shirt?

31
00:01:40,110 --> 00:01:41,110
Which one?

32
00:01:41,210 --> 00:01:42,770
The one that's got the big breasts in
it.

33
00:01:44,950 --> 00:01:46,890
Do you have to use that word? Keep it
clean.

34
00:01:47,090 --> 00:01:48,090
Chi -chis.

35
00:01:51,290 --> 00:01:54,330
You're just noticing Carmen's chi -chis?

36
00:01:55,670 --> 00:01:56,870
Hey, I don't look there.

37
00:01:57,310 --> 00:01:58,149
All right?

38
00:01:58,150 --> 00:02:00,130
You're the one who's home all the time.
How could you let this happen?

39
00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:08,600
Angie. Carmen's gifts obviously came
from my side of the family.

40
00:02:09,300 --> 00:02:10,919
Five generations of women.

41
00:02:11,620 --> 00:02:12,740
Not one drowning.

42
00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:18,820
You know, this changes everything.

43
00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:22,000
The boys at school are gonna be all over
her now. We gotta do something.

44
00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:25,700
Let me have a talk with her. She's at a
delicate age.

45
00:02:26,140 --> 00:02:28,200
Okay. Be delicate.

46
00:02:28,820 --> 00:02:29,820
Be sensitive.

47
00:02:29,980 --> 00:02:30,980
Be gentle.

48
00:02:31,740 --> 00:02:33,120
Just ruin sex for her.

49
00:02:37,589 --> 00:02:40,950
I'll be home before dinner. Honey, can
we talk for just a second? Sit down and

50
00:02:40,950 --> 00:02:42,030
have a cup of tea with me.

51
00:02:42,610 --> 00:02:47,150
No, the last time we had tea, we talked
about my special friend coming to visit.

52
00:02:47,550 --> 00:02:50,650
Oh, and by the way, you forgot to
mention she comes with a couple of

53
00:02:50,810 --> 00:02:51,810
Crampy and Bloaty.

54
00:02:53,430 --> 00:02:55,590
Okay, forget the tea. Let's sit down.

55
00:03:00,870 --> 00:03:02,650
I want to talk to you about boys.

56
00:03:03,330 --> 00:03:05,950
What's there to talk about? I can't date
until I'm 16 anyway.

57
00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:07,820
Well, that's not going to stop the boys.

58
00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:12,380
You're developing a woman's body, and
the boys are going to start to get

59
00:03:12,380 --> 00:03:13,940
excited.

60
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:19,520
And when boys get excited, they're going
to start putting all kinds of pressure

61
00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:20,760
on you to do things.

62
00:03:21,180 --> 00:03:23,180
But don't listen to them.

63
00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:26,740
The boys who really like you will still
like you.

64
00:03:27,420 --> 00:03:32,280
You should wait, so that way your first
time will be really special.

65
00:03:33,060 --> 00:03:34,600
Oh, it was special, all right.

66
00:03:38,109 --> 00:03:39,109
That was for Dad.

67
00:03:39,290 --> 00:03:40,290
I'm not listening.

68
00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:44,870
Guys aren't even looking at me. You're
worrying for nothing.

69
00:03:45,110 --> 00:03:47,450
Look, I just want you to know that I'm
always here for you and that we can

70
00:03:47,450 --> 00:03:48,750
always have an honest talk, okay?

71
00:03:49,350 --> 00:03:50,350
Okay.

72
00:03:50,790 --> 00:03:52,270
So, when was your first time?

73
00:03:53,470 --> 00:03:55,390
My wedding night was very special.

74
00:03:58,110 --> 00:04:00,410
This honesty thing, it's a one -way
street, isn't it?

75
00:04:01,850 --> 00:04:02,850
You can go now.

76
00:04:10,670 --> 00:04:13,410
I just want to add one little thing to
what your mom said. Men are pigs.

77
00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:16,630
They just want to go to bed with you.
And if they say they love you, they're

78
00:04:16,630 --> 00:04:18,649
lying because they just want to go to
bed with you. And if you're stupid

79
00:04:18,649 --> 00:04:21,050
to actually let them go to bed with you
while they're in bed with you, they're

80
00:04:21,050 --> 00:04:22,930
thinking about going to bed with
somebody else. Trust me, I know what I'm

81
00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:24,370
saying. I used to be a man before I got
married.

82
00:04:37,770 --> 00:04:40,370
Thanks for not picking me up in front of
my house. My parents are freaking out

83
00:04:40,370 --> 00:04:42,750
about boys. If my dad knew about you,
he'd kill you.

84
00:04:43,390 --> 00:04:44,390
It'd be worth it.

85
00:04:47,890 --> 00:04:49,750
Why don't we go off Poetry Club and go
for a drive?

86
00:04:50,670 --> 00:04:51,670
That's cool.

87
00:04:54,610 --> 00:04:56,590
You know, my dad says all guys are pigs.

88
00:04:58,090 --> 00:04:59,330
Well, most of them are.

89
00:05:00,190 --> 00:05:01,410
It's a good thing you found me.

90
00:05:17,230 --> 00:05:18,630
I know, huh?

91
00:05:20,990 --> 00:05:22,330
Remember, you remember.

92
00:05:24,750 --> 00:05:25,750
Where you at?

93
00:05:28,650 --> 00:05:29,850
Right now, right now?

94
00:05:40,740 --> 00:05:42,340
Look at these chicken breasts. They're
huge.

95
00:05:47,820 --> 00:05:50,300
Would you like me to have a talk with
the chickens, too?

96
00:05:52,780 --> 00:05:55,080
No, because then I just have to have a
real talk with them afterwards.

97
00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:58,400
Wait a second.

98
00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:00,020
What talk did you have?

99
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:02,140
What did you say to Carmen?

100
00:06:03,220 --> 00:06:05,720
Look, Angie, I know you meant well, but
somebody had to tell her the truth.

101
00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:08,000
All men are pigs, and they only want one
thing.

102
00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:12,040
George, when you make stupid
generalizations like that, kids know

103
00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:13,040
and you lose all credibility.

104
00:06:13,260 --> 00:06:14,960
Then they just go do whatever they want.

105
00:06:15,280 --> 00:06:16,219
Look, it works.

106
00:06:16,220 --> 00:06:19,100
When I was growing up, my mom used to
tell me if I ever kissed a woman or even

107
00:06:19,100 --> 00:06:21,640
touched a woman, she'd get pregnant. And
that kept me from ever trying to touch

108
00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:24,580
a woman. And that's obviously bull, so
now I gotta talk to Carmen and fix it.

109
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:28,580
And when you get this chicken out of
here, I can't think with all these

110
00:06:28,580 --> 00:06:29,580
in the house.

111
00:06:31,700 --> 00:06:33,260
Excuse me. Oh, can I help you?

112
00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:35,140
Yeah, company. Gotta read your meter.

113
00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:38,310
My dad says you should put a meter on my
butt.

114
00:06:42,530 --> 00:06:43,530
You'd make a fortune.

115
00:06:44,970 --> 00:06:46,690
I like your dad's sense of humor.

116
00:06:47,830 --> 00:06:48,850
Your son's adorable.

117
00:06:49,570 --> 00:06:54,770
But he's not my... You know, you've got
to have a sense of humor to be a single

118
00:06:54,770 --> 00:06:55,770
father in today's world.

119
00:06:56,170 --> 00:06:57,670
Not a lot of guys can handle it.

120
00:06:58,190 --> 00:07:01,650
I'm no hero. You know, I just know
what's important in life.

121
00:07:02,350 --> 00:07:03,350
This little guy.

122
00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:12,150
You know, I'm not due back again for a
month, but if there's a leak or

123
00:07:12,150 --> 00:07:14,050
something, maybe you could call me.

124
00:07:16,150 --> 00:07:18,950
Maybe I will.

125
00:07:19,990 --> 00:07:22,150
You know, you can't be too careful with
leaks.

126
00:07:22,530 --> 00:07:25,610
Being a single father and all.

127
00:07:25,850 --> 00:07:26,850
That's right.

128
00:07:27,390 --> 00:07:28,390
Bye. Bye.

129
00:07:29,350 --> 00:07:30,350
All right.

130
00:07:35,350 --> 00:07:39,670
That's too bad, because if I were you,
Dad, you could get all the ice cream you

131
00:07:39,670 --> 00:07:41,650
could eat and a $5 allowance.

132
00:07:42,330 --> 00:07:43,330
Make it $10.

133
00:07:43,450 --> 00:07:44,870
Deal. Daddy!

134
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:50,770
I'll get my wallet.

135
00:07:55,150 --> 00:07:57,750
Hey there, Maximilian. How you doing?

136
00:07:59,390 --> 00:08:00,530
Have you been wrestling?

137
00:08:09,290 --> 00:08:10,290
Oh, my God, Adam.

138
00:08:52,250 --> 00:08:54,610
Listen, Carmen, I went a little
overboard this morning, okay?

139
00:08:54,830 --> 00:08:56,030
Not all guys are pigs.

140
00:08:56,250 --> 00:08:59,290
There are a lot of good guys out there,
like Tom Hanks.

141
00:09:01,010 --> 00:09:01,949
The Pope.

142
00:09:01,950 --> 00:09:02,970
Regis seems friendly.

143
00:09:05,070 --> 00:09:08,110
Carmen, your father's right. Not all men
are pigs.

144
00:09:08,670 --> 00:09:10,590
George, take down the hood. I think
she's got a hickey.

145
00:09:12,950 --> 00:09:14,590
Oh, my God. Who did this?

146
00:09:14,950 --> 00:09:15,709
No one.

147
00:09:15,710 --> 00:09:16,710
Oh, no one.

148
00:09:17,110 --> 00:09:20,630
So you just used a corner attachment on
the Hoover to give yourself a hickey to

149
00:09:20,630 --> 00:09:27,310
prove to everybody that a... would kiss
you what don't turn this back on me who

150
00:09:27,310 --> 00:09:31,970
did this to you who did this to you
you're making it sound so horrible it's

151
00:09:31,970 --> 00:09:36,270
a hickey why are you being so dramatic
no that was shock this is dramatic you

152
00:09:36,270 --> 00:09:39,190
have lost every privilege except
breathing you're never leaving this

153
00:09:39,190 --> 00:09:45,970
have to go to school not anymore we're
homeschooling you from now on whatever

154
00:09:45,970 --> 00:09:51,010
we don't know you don't know when did
the korean war start

155
00:09:54,290 --> 00:10:00,930
reformation sorry out of luck george
calm down carmen come

156
00:10:00,930 --> 00:10:07,190
here i swear to god i will break you i
want a name and i want it now we're not

157
00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:13,790
done we're gonna find out who it is no
you won't hey uh

158
00:10:13,790 --> 00:10:17,590
i was walking down the street and i
found this book with someone's take

159
00:10:17,590 --> 00:10:21,530
test in it and it seemed important so
i'm going door to door to find out whose

160
00:10:21,530 --> 00:10:25,590
it is is there a Carmen Lopez here?

161
00:10:28,290 --> 00:10:30,250
Angie, does that moron have a hickey?

162
00:10:55,020 --> 00:10:56,020
You're a cop. Who do you chase?

163
00:10:56,380 --> 00:11:00,300
The car that runs a red light or the
Latino guy chasing the car yelling, I'll

164
00:11:00,300 --> 00:11:01,300
kill you?

165
00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:03,980
Is that his antenna?

166
00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:08,480
Yep. You touch my daughter, you go back
to A .M., fool.

167
00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:13,180
Can you believe Carmen has seen a boy
who drives?

168
00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:17,200
His name is Adam Connors. He's 16. They
met at the poetry club, and he's

169
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:19,820
sensitive, deep, and beautiful in a way
we'll never understand.

170
00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:22,920
Apparently, her new chest is stealing
blood from her brain.

171
00:11:25,170 --> 00:11:26,089
Where is she?

172
00:11:26,090 --> 00:11:29,630
Center to her room. I told her that from
now on she is on a tight leash.

173
00:11:29,870 --> 00:11:32,650
We're driving her to and from school and
keeping her home at night.

174
00:11:32,910 --> 00:11:34,210
Yeah, but what about while they're at
school?

175
00:11:34,730 --> 00:11:37,550
You've got a car in the parking lot.
There's five minutes between classes. A

176
00:11:37,550 --> 00:11:38,550
can happen in five minutes.

177
00:11:40,190 --> 00:11:41,490
Max happened in five minutes.

178
00:11:43,290 --> 00:11:44,290
Four.

179
00:11:48,810 --> 00:11:51,030
Look, you knew going in it was going to
be a quickie.

180
00:11:55,930 --> 00:11:56,930
Carmen.

181
00:11:57,590 --> 00:11:59,750
Well, we tried talking to her.

182
00:11:59,990 --> 00:12:01,330
We tried yelling at her.

183
00:12:01,830 --> 00:12:03,430
She thinks she found somebody special.

184
00:12:04,410 --> 00:12:07,570
I guess our job is to guide her through
all the mysteries of young love.

185
00:12:08,170 --> 00:12:09,310
This is gonorrhea.

186
00:12:13,450 --> 00:12:16,590
And these are genital warts.

187
00:12:21,130 --> 00:12:23,750
Not so happy you're talking to that
color printer now, are you?

188
00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:28,120
Bread really pops.

189
00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:33,480
What are Mom and Dad talking to Carmen
about?

190
00:12:34,660 --> 00:12:35,760
You remember cooties?

191
00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:38,680
Yeah, you get them from girls.

192
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:41,760
Well, they're talking to Carmen about
super cooties.

193
00:12:44,420 --> 00:12:45,480
What makes them super?

194
00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:47,240
How you get them.

195
00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:51,780
Look, here come two more. Come on, back
to work, back to work.

196
00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:58,120
Hey, can you give me that frisbee?

197
00:12:58,340 --> 00:12:59,640
Me and my dad will play and catch.

198
00:12:59,900 --> 00:13:00,940
Sure. Thanks.

199
00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:02,660
Hey, where's your dad?

200
00:13:03,460 --> 00:13:05,020
He doesn't live with us anymore.

201
00:13:08,820 --> 00:13:09,820
Max!

202
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:10,960
Max!

203
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:12,940
Are you bothering these nice people?

204
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,040
Oh, he's not bothering us. He's
adorable.

205
00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:16,680
Hi, I'm Ernie.

206
00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:18,320
And this is Max.

207
00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:21,420
Or as I like to call him, the light of
my life.

208
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,840
I'm Cindy, and this is Michelle.

209
00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:28,200
Hey, is it okay if the kids play
Frisbee?

210
00:13:28,540 --> 00:13:29,540
Sure.

211
00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:33,980
Thank you, Father, for devoting your
life to me.

212
00:13:36,680 --> 00:13:37,680
Single parents?

213
00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:38,960
Yeah.

214
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:41,020
Me too. It's not easy, is it?

215
00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:44,000
Tell me about it. All those sleepless
nights, all those dirty diapers.

216
00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:46,120
Max is still in diapers.

217
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:48,700
I'm taking care of his grandmother, too.

218
00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:51,980
Hey, it looks like the kids are having
fun.

219
00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:53,479
You know...

220
00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:56,460
We just moved into the neighborhood. I'm
sure that Michelle would love to have a

221
00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:57,460
play date.

222
00:13:57,520 --> 00:13:59,620
Great! Great, let's set it up.

223
00:14:00,180 --> 00:14:01,920
So, what school does Max go to?

224
00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:06,940
Um, Roosevelt, Kennedy, Luther, King
Elementary.

225
00:14:07,820 --> 00:14:08,820
Middle.

226
00:14:11,020 --> 00:14:12,520
Well, we've got to get going.

227
00:14:12,980 --> 00:14:13,980
Call me. Great.

228
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:15,320
Come on, Michelle.

229
00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:21,000
Am I going to have to go on a play date,
too?

230
00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:22,260
Only once.

231
00:14:22,430 --> 00:14:26,570
Then you get to go live with your mom
and a rich new husband, and I turn to

232
00:14:26,570 --> 00:14:27,910
Cindy to comfort me.

233
00:14:28,650 --> 00:14:30,930
I didn't know you had to lie so much to
be with a woman.

234
00:14:31,710 --> 00:14:36,130
Max, if I taught you one thing today,
I'm proud.

235
00:14:37,770 --> 00:14:39,090
Look, here come two more. Come on.

236
00:14:43,430 --> 00:14:45,770
And this one's name is Chlamydia.

237
00:14:49,090 --> 00:14:51,430
Her turn -ons are ignorance and horny
teen.

238
00:14:55,210 --> 00:14:56,210
or antibiotics.

239
00:14:57,450 --> 00:15:01,090
I can't look at these pictures anymore.
I get it. I'll never have sex without a

240
00:15:01,090 --> 00:15:03,130
condom. See, that's not what this is
about.

241
00:15:03,810 --> 00:15:04,810
Condoms can break.

242
00:15:04,930 --> 00:15:09,250
And then there's other diseases you can
get, like... Angie, where are my genital

243
00:15:09,250 --> 00:15:10,250
herpes?

244
00:15:12,470 --> 00:15:13,610
They should be in your lap.

245
00:15:15,190 --> 00:15:16,190
No, I just...

246
00:15:25,450 --> 00:15:28,770
Some of these diseases can kill you. I'm
not going to get a disease. I can

247
00:15:28,770 --> 00:15:29,770
control myself.

248
00:15:29,990 --> 00:15:31,750
Yeah, control yourself.

249
00:15:32,790 --> 00:15:37,250
Try that with a wine cooler in your
belly and Smokey Robinson on the radio.

250
00:15:40,390 --> 00:15:41,670
Brenda, you're not helping.

251
00:15:42,290 --> 00:15:43,290
You're right.

252
00:15:43,950 --> 00:15:44,950
What do I know?

253
00:15:48,170 --> 00:15:49,170
Hang on, Mom.

254
00:15:50,690 --> 00:15:52,330
Tell her. Tell her what?

255
00:15:52,750 --> 00:15:54,610
Tell her about being 17 and pregnant.

256
00:15:55,630 --> 00:15:59,090
Tell her how I ruined your life. Oh, you
didn't ruin my life.

257
00:15:59,430 --> 00:16:05,190
This is no time to joke Your

258
00:16:05,190 --> 00:16:11,510
father didn't ruin my life

259
00:16:11,510 --> 00:16:18,400
I ruined my life look You fall in love
with the guy, and you think it's going

260
00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:22,360
to last forever, so you forget about
what's right or wrong. You get caught up

261
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:25,660
the moment, and you go to bed with him,
and it's pretty good.

262
00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:26,880
Mom!

263
00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:31,480
I'm not going to lie.

264
00:16:33,940 --> 00:16:37,220
But then he doesn't turn out to be the
guy you think he is. The next thing you

265
00:16:37,220 --> 00:16:42,180
know, he dumped you, and while your
friends are hanging out having fun,

266
00:16:42,180 --> 00:16:44,260
all alone raising a kid.

267
00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:46,130
Working two jobs?

268
00:16:47,330 --> 00:16:49,690
Up to your stretch marks and dirty
diapers?

269
00:16:53,070 --> 00:16:57,350
I gave up all my pretty years for this.

270
00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:07,150
You ready for that?

271
00:17:08,170 --> 00:17:10,109
I'm not going to have sex. I know I'm
not ready.

272
00:17:10,650 --> 00:17:13,150
And you're not going to see Adam. We
don't want you to be alone with him.

273
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,619
All right. I won't be alone without him.

274
00:17:16,859 --> 00:17:17,859
Good.

275
00:17:18,099 --> 00:17:20,839
Can I go now? I have to babysit the
Kogan twins tonight.

276
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:22,440
Yes, you can.

277
00:17:29,140 --> 00:17:30,140
Thanks,

278
00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:32,640
Mom.

279
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,700
Can I go now? I have to babysit the
Coors Light sex tuplets.

280
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:44,080
Isn't that over?

281
00:17:46,060 --> 00:17:47,160
It's only going to get worse, right?

282
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,580
Yep. There'll be more guys, more lies.

283
00:17:50,860 --> 00:17:51,860
Oh, yeah.

284
00:17:52,540 --> 00:17:55,140
I think they had it right a couple
hundred years ago.

285
00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:58,560
You get married at 14, and by 30, you're
dead.

286
00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:01,999
Hey, guys.

287
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,300
Hey, honey, how was the park?

288
00:18:03,620 --> 00:18:05,920
Good. Look, you're earning eight
playdates next week.

289
00:18:10,580 --> 00:18:11,580
What?

290
00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:15,200
The kid is a single mom magnet.

291
00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:18,230
You can't be serious.

292
00:18:18,250 --> 00:18:21,090
Oh, come on. You can't let all that
cuteness go to waste.

293
00:18:22,650 --> 00:18:27,330
Max has got maybe two or three adorable
years left before he starts looking

294
00:18:27,330 --> 00:18:29,230
like, you know, you.

295
00:18:32,170 --> 00:18:35,370
George, will you talk to him? I'm going
to go check on Max.

296
00:18:35,610 --> 00:18:36,610
All right.

297
00:18:38,310 --> 00:18:39,710
Let me get this straight.

298
00:18:39,970 --> 00:18:42,950
You've been using my son so you can
score with strange women you meet in the

299
00:18:42,950 --> 00:18:44,070
park? Uh -huh.

300
00:18:46,260 --> 00:18:47,260
Dude, that is brilliant.

301
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:51,680
Hey,

302
00:18:53,220 --> 00:18:57,460
little guy. Is your dad home?

303
00:18:57,780 --> 00:18:58,780
Yeah, he's right there.

304
00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:02,960
But I thought he was your dad.

305
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:05,800
I have two dads.

306
00:19:08,140 --> 00:19:09,140
Oh.

307
00:19:10,980 --> 00:19:12,820
When you said you were a single dad,
I...

308
00:19:16,590 --> 00:19:20,010
I guess I made a mistake when I gave you
my card. No, no, no, no, no.

309
00:19:20,630 --> 00:19:21,930
It's not what it looks like.

310
00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:29,230
It better not be what it looks like.

311
00:19:30,010 --> 00:19:33,270
I was out of town for one week and this
happens. You better pick a team, mister.

312
00:19:34,730 --> 00:19:36,270
I'll give you two some privacy.

313
00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:38,090
No, don't. Wait.

314
00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:42,490
Why chase after that when you got all
this?