1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
00:00:04,588 --> 00:00:07,257
I've got a good idea for the dinner
at my parents' house tonight.
2
00:00:07,758 --> 00:00:09,835
- What's that?
- Let's not go.
3
00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:12,840
- We have to go.
- Why?
4
00:00:13,055 --> 00:00:15,843
Just because your parents are meeting
my parents for the first time?
5
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,215
We already know everyone.
6
00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:19,677
Let's stay home.
I can't take the tension.
7
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:22,061
It's just a dinner.
We'll eat a little, talk a little.
8
00:00:22,231 --> 00:00:25,019
Everyone will go home with stains
on their shirts. It's no big deal.
9
00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:26,266
It is, and you know it.
10
00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:29,279
This is the dinner.
It'll set the tone for the relationship
11
00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:31,356
between our families
for the rest of our lives.
12
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,442
I'm sure every couple
goes through this.
13
00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:36,323
We're different.
We've got a lot going against us.
14
00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:38,287
First of all, we're already married.
15
00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:40,947
Let's tell them and get it over with
before Ruthie tells them.
16
00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:43,083
- Then we can relax.
- That won't make me relax.
17
00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:46,088
It'll make me relax, and then
we can act like what we are: married.
18
00:00:46,255 --> 00:00:49,173
- I'll be a lot more relaxed.
- No. And here's why:
19
00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:50,421
We've got bigger problems
20
00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:53,795
than lying about being married
and sharing that lie with Ruthie.
21
00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:56,463
Your father's a minister,
and mine's a rabbi.
22
00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:59,256
- Both men of the cloth.
- Way different fabrics.
23
00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:01,927
And this is a Friday-night
Sabbath dinner,
24
00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:03,848
which somehow
makes everything more...
25
00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:05,055
[DOOR OPENS]
26
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:06,264
I don't know, just more.
27
00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:10,025
The one thing I had to get
was chicken fat.
28
00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:12,729
The one thing I asked you
to remind me to get was chicken fat.
29
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,983
And what happens?
I forget the chicken fat.
30
00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:17,616
How am I supposed to make kugel
without chicken fat?
31
00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:19,827
Someone tell me that, please.
32
00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:22,830
[SPEAKS IN HEBREW]
33
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,050
[BARKS]
34
00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,880
[UTENSILS CLANGING]
35
00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:05,472
Oh, good. Ruthie, come here.
I need you to taste something.
36
00:03:07,813 --> 00:03:08,893
What is it?
37
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:12,276
Kasha varnishkes.
38
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:16,398
- Maybe some other time.
- Come on, Ruthie. I need you to try it.
39
00:03:16,572 --> 00:03:19,443
Isn't there a rule if you can't say it,
you don't have to eat it?
40
00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:22,067
It's just roasted buckwheat
and noodles.
41
00:03:22,286 --> 00:03:25,157
It doesn't sound much better
in English.
42
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:31,119
What? Too salty?
43
00:03:31,295 --> 00:03:33,869
Too oniony? What?
44
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,211
I don't know.
45
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:38,301
- What's it supposed to taste like?
- I'm not sure.
46
00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:41,512
Why are you cooking all this food?
Isn't Sarah's mother cooking anything?
47
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,923
Of course she is.
I just thought it'd be a nice gesture
48
00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:46,591
to cook something
for tonight's Shabbat dinner.
49
00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:51,137
- What's Shabbat?
- "Shabbat" is Hebrew for the Sabbath.
50
00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:53,474
And since I've never cooked
this kind of food before,
51
00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:55,810
I thought I'd experiment
with a few different things.
52
00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:58,608
I'll probably only bring
one or two dishes.
53
00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:00,739
Or maybe not.
54
00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:06,745
Mom, that thing, the K thing,
it was not bad, really.
55
00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:09,282
- Really?
- Yeah, I think.
56
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:11,992
Good. Well, then that'll be one dish.
57
00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:16,002
Okay, now, do me a favour.
I need you to try kugel.
58
00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:18,423
I have to go.
I forgot to do something.
59
00:04:18,634 --> 00:04:20,462
- What?
- I can't remember right now.
60
00:04:20,636 --> 00:04:23,009
Another inevitable sign
of the ageing process.
61
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:29,222
But sometimes if I start walking,
whatever it is just pulls me to it.
62
00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:33,055
[DOOR OPENS,
RUNNING FOOTSTEPS]
63
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:37,274
I wouldn't go in there if I were you.
It's not the kitchen you once knew.
64
00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:39,479
- What are you talking about?
- Mom.
65
00:04:39,655 --> 00:04:41,779
She's really going overboard
for this dinner tonight
66
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,029
at Sarah's parents' house.
67
00:04:43,242 --> 00:04:45,781
You're lucky. You get to stay home
and babysit the twins.
68
00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:48,445
- You'll have a good time.
- Really? Why?
69
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:51,992
Are you kidding? Getting to see
two families meeting for the first time?
70
00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:55,620
You'll get to observe the relationships,
the interaction, body language.
71
00:04:55,838 --> 00:04:58,080
You'll be like a reporter
with a front seat to history.
72
00:04:58,257 --> 00:05:00,297
I'd rather have a seat
in front of the TV.
73
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:03,339
Plus, it's a Shabbat dinner.
That means Sabbath.
74
00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:06,383
- So it'll probably be extra serious.
- That's even better.
75
00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:08,806
Getting to experience
an authentic Jewish dinner?
76
00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:10,471
Observing another culture firsthand?
77
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,851
Look at it
like you're a young Margaret Mead.
78
00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:17,269
Like I don't already know more about
human nature than Margaret Mead?
79
00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:21,405
[CHUCKLES]
80
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:26,197
[POTS BANGING]
81
00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:28,077
[SNIFFS]
82
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:35,119
STUDENT:
Come on.
83
00:05:35,961 --> 00:05:37,373
MORRIS:
I'm half Jewish.
84
00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:40,631
So I should invite you
to meet my brother's fiancée's family?
85
00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:43,042
You should invite me
because my folks are out of town,
86
00:05:43,218 --> 00:05:46,386
the fridge is totally empty,
and it's Friday night.
87
00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:48,299
And Meagan broke our date
88
00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:50,847
because no one likes me
since I took you to that party.
89
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:53,557
And I'm in the mood
for some good Jewish cooking.
90
00:05:53,729 --> 00:05:55,687
Actually, any cooking.
91
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,980
You're really half Jewish?
92
00:05:58,150 --> 00:06:01,686
Yeah, my mother's Jewish,
and my father's Protestant.
93
00:06:02,571 --> 00:06:06,071
- Does Sarah have sisters?
- No.
94
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:10,201
So I'll go anyway. You owe me.
95
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,996
[CHUCKLES]
96
00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:20,712
- Hey. So how's it going?
- How's it going?
97
00:06:20,923 --> 00:06:24,624
Ha! I got over-salted kugel. Tastes like
the Red Sea when you bite into it.
98
00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:26,801
I got watery noodle pudding.
99
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:29,297
My kasha varnishkes
are sticking to the bottom of the pot.
100
00:06:29,473 --> 00:06:32,391
And Mrs. Kaplan's honey cake in
the oven looks like someone sat on it.
101
00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:35,556
Maybe Mrs. Kaplan.
Why are you going overboard?
102
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,770
They invited us.
The rabbi and Mrs. Glass.
103
00:06:37,940 --> 00:06:39,601
And we're going.
What's the problem?
104
00:06:39,775 --> 00:06:42,730
But we didn't invite them.
I was going to, but they invited us first.
105
00:06:42,945 --> 00:06:44,654
Somebody
has to invite somebody first.
106
00:06:44,863 --> 00:06:46,738
Yeah, but I wanted that somebody
to be us.
107
00:06:46,949 --> 00:06:49,275
Otherwise, they might think
that we're standoffish,
108
00:06:49,451 --> 00:06:51,777
or worse, that we have a problem
with their religion,
109
00:06:51,954 --> 00:06:54,790
which is the last thing
I want Matt's future in-laws to think.
110
00:06:54,957 --> 00:06:58,042
- That's why you're doing all this?
- That's why I'm destroying our kitchen
111
00:06:58,210 --> 00:07:00,120
cooking food
I have no idea how to cook.
112
00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:02,622
All I had to do was invite them first,
113
00:07:02,798 --> 00:07:05,420
and I would have
home-food advantage.
114
00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:06,963
[BOOK CLOSES]
115
00:07:07,845 --> 00:07:10,800
Somehow, I've gotta
get out of this dinner tonight.
116
00:07:10,973 --> 00:07:13,975
- Stay home with Robbie.
- You think I could?
117
00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:16,765
Oh, man. I knew it.
118
00:07:16,979 --> 00:07:21,855
It's just that when two people break up,
sometimes it's not totally clean.
119
00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:24,274
Sometimes
there's unfinished business.
120
00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:27,061
And this would be a good time
for Robbie and me to clean it up.
121
00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:28,651
That's not all there is to it.
122
00:07:28,866 --> 00:07:30,943
You need to have a reason
to stay home with Robbie.
123
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:33,028
A reason you can say out loud
to Mom and Dad.
124
00:07:33,245 --> 00:07:36,033
Well, help me. What are kids doing
these days to get out of school?
125
00:07:36,248 --> 00:07:39,618
Has anyone come up with new stuff?
Ways to fake fevers?
126
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:42,119
Trick thermometers?
Reddening-throat techniques?
127
00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:45,416
- Anything new out there?
- Nope. Same old stuff.
128
00:07:45,591 --> 00:07:49,720
Although, Talia Stepka ate a caterpillar
last week to get out of P.E.,
129
00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:52,966
but she didn't throw up until
two periods later in Computer Lab.
130
00:07:53,182 --> 00:07:55,756
So the timing
still has to be worked out.
131
00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:57,845
Watch this.
132
00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:01,852
[SIGHS]
Oh...
133
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:05,769
- Well?
- "Well," what?
134
00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:07,025
That was a faint.
135
00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:09,818
I think I'll try that.
Nobody argues with a fainter.
136
00:08:10,032 --> 00:08:11,231
I think it needs work.
137
00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:14,908
- You looked sleepy, not fainty.
- Okay.
138
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:17,242
[GROANS]
139
00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:21,368
- Better?
- I'm not sure.
140
00:08:24,046 --> 00:08:26,004
Maybe if I crack my head
against the wall.
141
00:08:26,215 --> 00:08:28,125
Are you sure
you haven't already done that?
142
00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:29,581
Mm.
143
00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:34,467
Let me think about that. No.
144
00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:37,428
I mean, the last thing we need tonight
is one of your goofy friends.
145
00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:40,010
It's kind of a delicate situation,
Simon.
146
00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:42,809
- I'm not sure if it's the best time.
- Sure, I understand.
147
00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:46,149
I just thought, you know, with Morris
being half Jewish and everything,
148
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:49,029
it might actually be of some help.
You know, he's a good student.
149
00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:51,190
He's honest, responsible.
150
00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:54,034
Kind of an example
that mixed marriages actually work,
151
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:55,281
but don't worry about it.
152
00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:58,324
Wait. That's not the worst idea
I ever heard.
153
00:08:58,497 --> 00:09:01,582
And it's better than telling them
that a lack of frustration
154
00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:04,076
will allow us to focus on our studies.
155
00:09:04,253 --> 00:09:05,534
And my folks wouldn't mind.
156
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:08,251
Besides,
my father loves a big audience.
157
00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:10,915
If he could fit a crowd
into the bathroom to watch him shave,
158
00:09:11,093 --> 00:09:12,374
he would.
159
00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:13,799
Okay. Good idea, Simon.
160
00:09:13,971 --> 00:09:16,011
We could use all the help
we could get. Thanks.
161
00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:17,297
You're welcome.
162
00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:25,721
Now, if the twins won't eat,
you can switch their foods.
163
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,181
Sometimes that works.
164
00:09:27,359 --> 00:09:29,898
And you have our phone number
in case anything comes up.
165
00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:33,398
Don't worry, everything will be fine.
Have a good time.
166
00:09:33,574 --> 00:09:35,235
SAM:
I wanna go there.
167
00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:37,983
DAVID:
I want a balloon.
168
00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:39,538
Oh.
169
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:42,499
Is it hot in here?
I'm feeling a little weird.
170
00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:45,240
- The cake. I forgot the honey cake.
- I got the honey cake.
171
00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:47,750
- No, that's the kugel.
- No, I have the honey cake.
172
00:09:47,963 --> 00:09:50,253
- Oh, okay.
- Oh, and Morris is meeting us there.
173
00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:51,623
Because...?
174
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:53,545
Well, because
Matt and Sarah invited him.
175
00:09:53,719 --> 00:09:56,507
- He's half Jewish.
- Where's Mary? Mary?
176
00:09:56,722 --> 00:09:58,347
[FOOTSTEPS]
177
00:09:58,515 --> 00:09:59,714
Oh, I feel so strange.
178
00:09:59,892 --> 00:10:02,016
[MARY COUGHS]
179
00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:03,848
What's wrong?
Why aren't you ready?
180
00:10:04,021 --> 00:10:05,599
I'm sorry. I just laid down for a nap,
181
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:08,347
and now my head hurts,
and my stomach's queasy.
182
00:10:08,567 --> 00:10:13,444
I don't know what hit me. I'm sorry.
I'll just be a few minutes, Mom.
183
00:10:14,573 --> 00:10:17,112
- Did you talk to her?
RUTHIE: I didn't talk to her.
184
00:10:17,326 --> 00:10:19,782
- Probably saw you rehearsing.
- Rehearsing?
185
00:10:19,995 --> 00:10:22,321
You don't feel warm.
You're coming down with something.
186
00:10:22,497 --> 00:10:24,491
- You better go back to bed.
- What about dinner?
187
00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:27,123
She can't stay here.
Robbie is staying here.
188
00:10:27,336 --> 00:10:28,535
Oh
189
00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:31,465
Robbie can take care of you
if you need anything.
190
00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:37,343
Yeah, I guess. Okay.
Well, have a good time.
191
00:10:37,513 --> 00:10:39,423
Everyone.
192
00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:43,850
Okay. I don't know what's going on,
although I could guess.
193
00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:45,183
But the kugel's getting cold,
194
00:10:45,354 --> 00:10:48,190
and you know how I hate cold kugel.
So shall we?
195
00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:50,014
Uh...
196
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:55,153
See? Sometimes simple is better.
197
00:11:10,379 --> 00:11:13,500
[SINGING IN HEBREW]
198
00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:33,767
Blessed art thou, O Lord, our God,
king of the universe,
199
00:11:33,944 --> 00:11:35,938
who has sanctified us
by thy commandments,
200
00:11:36,113 --> 00:11:39,649
and commanded us
to kindle the Sabbath lights.
201
00:11:40,492 --> 00:11:41,904
Okay.
202
00:11:42,077 --> 00:11:46,787
Now, as we're getting closer
to the moment of truth--
203
00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:49,164
Which I like to call dinner.
204
00:11:49,793 --> 00:11:52,996
--I would like to do the Kiddush,
which is the blessing over the wine,
205
00:11:53,172 --> 00:11:55,082
which symbolises life and joy.
206
00:11:55,257 --> 00:11:57,666
And for those of you
who have fruit juice in front of you,
207
00:11:57,843 --> 00:12:01,509
it symbolises
that you're just not old enough to drink.
208
00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:07,888
[SPEAKING IN HEBREW]
209
00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:11,188
Blessed art thou, O Lord, our God,
king of the universe,
210
00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:13,231
creator of the fruit of the vine.
211
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,310
And now we all can take a little sip,
please.
212
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:17,863
[MATT CLEARS THROAT]
213
00:12:18,030 --> 00:12:19,608
Very nice sipping, by the way.
214
00:12:19,781 --> 00:12:23,198
You guys have sipped before,
I can tell.
215
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:26,032
Now we do the Motzi.
216
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:31,202
[SPEAKING IN HEBREW]
217
00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:35,499
Blessed art thou, O Lord, our God,
king of the universe,
218
00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:38,793
who bringest forth bread
from the earth.
219
00:12:40,594 --> 00:12:45,672
Mm! Now, Annie, just take a little piece
of this challah and pass it down.
220
00:12:45,849 --> 00:12:48,685
Everybody do the same thing,
and then take a bite.
221
00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:52,055
Because now the moment has come
that you've been waiting for,
222
00:12:52,231 --> 00:12:55,731
the moment when I can tell you how
my grandfather came to this country.
223
00:12:55,943 --> 00:12:58,067
- Dad.
- No, no. Honey, I swear,
224
00:12:58,237 --> 00:13:00,479
I've gotten this down
to a tight 90 minutes.
225
00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:03,908
Grandpa Max
is born in a little village in Kiev.
226
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:06,111
One day,
he decides to walk across Europe.
227
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,746
What a meshuggener.
Can you imagine?
228
00:13:07,913 --> 00:13:09,741
He's a little guy.
He had tiny little steps.
229
00:13:09,915 --> 00:13:13,664
It took him like six months just to get
to, like, you know, Poland, you know?
230
00:13:13,836 --> 00:13:15,461
He does this
every time we have company.
231
00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:19,248
All right, I'm kidding.
Grandpa was born on Coney Island.
232
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:20,498
[ALL LAUGH]
233
00:13:20,676 --> 00:13:23,084
Shabbat shalom, everybody.
Let's eat.
234
00:13:23,262 --> 00:13:26,133
Nibble on the challah, everyone.
I'll be right back with the soup.
235
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:27,588
Oh, I'll help you, Rosina.
236
00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:30,258
Oh, no, you're a guest.
Sarah will help me.
237
00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:32,720
- No, really, I'd like--
- No, just sit.
238
00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:34,605
Please.
239
00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:38,771
- It's okay, Annie. We got it covered.
- Okay.
240
00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:43,112
Maybe I should faint right here.
241
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,400
[WHISPERING]
That'll just get you an ambulance ride
242
00:13:45,576 --> 00:13:47,071
and a CAT scan.
243
00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:49,950
Rabbi, I wanna thank you
and Mrs. Glass for inviting me.
244
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,825
I know this was a family thing.
245
00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:54,455
And it's nice of everyone
to have me along.
246
00:13:54,626 --> 00:13:56,038
It's our pleasure, Morris.
247
00:13:56,211 --> 00:13:58,786
You know, Simon tells me
that Morris here--
248
00:13:58,964 --> 00:14:01,254
A terrific kid, good student.
--is actually half Jewish.
249
00:14:01,425 --> 00:14:03,999
His mother's Jewish,
and his father's Protestant.
250
00:14:04,178 --> 00:14:05,377
A good combination.
251
00:14:06,221 --> 00:14:09,093
Wow, really?
Does your family do Shabbat dinner?
252
00:14:09,308 --> 00:14:10,969
Not really.
253
00:14:11,185 --> 00:14:13,593
I used to do it when I was a kid
at my grandfather's house.
254
00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:17,437
But we did things a little differently,
like with candles.
255
00:14:18,192 --> 00:14:20,150
Yeah, he lit maybe a dozen or so.
256
00:14:20,319 --> 00:14:22,692
You know, Morris,
I think you're thinking about Hanukkah,
257
00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:23,943
the festival of lights,
258
00:14:24,114 --> 00:14:26,783
where they add an additional candle
each night for eight nights.
259
00:14:27,242 --> 00:14:29,117
You know,
don't beat yourself up over it.
260
00:14:29,328 --> 00:14:31,405
You were close.
It's the same religion, right?
261
00:14:32,497 --> 00:14:34,041
Well, it was a while ago.
262
00:14:34,208 --> 00:14:35,454
[CHUCKLES]
263
00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:40,414
Anyways, ha-ha-ha, it's nice to be here
at your Seder.
264
00:14:41,048 --> 00:14:42,626
Another swing and a miss.
265
00:14:42,841 --> 00:14:45,629
You know, I think you're referring
to Passover, Morris.
266
00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:47,428
The Passover Seder.
267
00:14:47,638 --> 00:14:49,596
[MATT KICKS SIMON,
SIMON GROANS]
268
00:14:49,765 --> 00:14:53,099
I mean, the Passover Seder,
that's interesting.
269
00:14:53,268 --> 00:14:56,888
Well, what about the one where you
put on the costumes and the masks?
270
00:14:57,064 --> 00:14:58,345
That's Halloween.
271
00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:00,605
No, it's Purim.
272
00:15:00,776 --> 00:15:02,769
Kids dress up for Purim,
just like Halloween.
273
00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:05,478
I gotta tell you something,
Judaism is really very confusing,
274
00:15:05,656 --> 00:15:10,484
even for Jews, really. I mean,
every family does Shabbat differently.
275
00:15:10,702 --> 00:15:14,487
And, for openers, we have Orthodox,
Conservative and Reform,
276
00:15:14,665 --> 00:15:17,832
which my congregation, you know,
leans toward.
277
00:15:18,043 --> 00:15:19,242
This house is Reform.
278
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,579
And most Reform houses
don't keep kosher,
279
00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:26,217
but because my darling wife
was raised that way, we observe it.
280
00:15:26,385 --> 00:15:28,793
And by the way,
if any of you have any questions,
281
00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:31,676
I would be happy
to answer any of them.
282
00:15:31,849 --> 00:15:35,135
And, Morris, you can relax.
I'll take the first few.
283
00:15:35,894 --> 00:15:36,974
RUTHIE:
I have one.
284
00:15:37,187 --> 00:15:39,975
Why did Mrs. Glass cover her eyes
when she was lighting the candles?
285
00:15:40,190 --> 00:15:41,389
Isn't that a good question?
286
00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:43,979
Well, there's actually a few reasons,
287
00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:47,523
but one is that it helps her
focus her devotion.
288
00:15:48,073 --> 00:15:50,316
You didn't cover your eyes
when you said a blessing.
289
00:15:50,534 --> 00:15:51,733
I'm a professional.
290
00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:53,151
[CHUCKLING]
291
00:15:53,829 --> 00:15:55,906
- Any other questions?
RUTHIE: Yes.
292
00:15:56,123 --> 00:15:58,247
What is it
with this circumcision thing?
293
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,203
[COUGHING]
294
00:16:00,419 --> 00:16:02,163
- Ruthie.
- No, Annie, it's okay.
295
00:16:02,379 --> 00:16:05,001
No, it's always a good time
for knowledge.
296
00:16:05,215 --> 00:16:08,716
By the way, you should know that
circumcision isn't only done by Jews.
297
00:16:08,886 --> 00:16:12,505
But for Jews, it's called a bris,
and it came from a covenant,
298
00:16:12,723 --> 00:16:15,844
a promise that Abraham
made with God
299
00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:18,177
to show that he
and his descendants
300
00:16:18,353 --> 00:16:21,439
would continue to honour him
through Judaism.
301
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:25,398
I just wonder what made him
think of that. Circumcision.
302
00:16:25,777 --> 00:16:26,858
[CHUCKLES]
303
00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:30,405
[LIGHT CHUCKLING,
THROAT CLEARING]
304
00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:32,986
ANNOUNCER [OVER TV]:
Carter shoots from the top.
305
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:34,821
Oh, saved by Williams.
He kicks it out.
306
00:16:34,995 --> 00:16:37,119
They're working the puck.
Going in front of the net.
307
00:16:37,289 --> 00:16:40,042
Grabs the net.
And they're behind the net now.
308
00:16:40,209 --> 00:16:42,368
And Nelson and Parker,
they're fighting for it.
309
00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:45,546
- Hey.
- Hey.
310
00:16:47,049 --> 00:16:48,509
Wow.
311
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:51,464
- I guess you're feeling better.
- Much.
312
00:16:51,637 --> 00:16:53,926
Yeah, I think it was
just one of those 24-minute bugs.
313
00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:56,969
[CHUCKLES]
314
00:16:57,726 --> 00:17:00,645
- What are you doing?
- Just watching some hockey.
315
00:17:00,812 --> 00:17:02,189
Twins are asleep.
316
00:17:02,356 --> 00:17:05,144
I can't tell if they were tired,
or they just got bored of me.
317
00:17:05,317 --> 00:17:06,978
--looking for someone
in front of the net.
318
00:17:07,152 --> 00:17:08,564
Mind if I watch the game with you?
319
00:17:09,238 --> 00:17:10,649
Across the ice down low.
320
00:17:10,822 --> 00:17:15,402
- Um... Maybe you shouldn't.
- Why do you look so worried?
321
00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:17,820
It's not like there's anything
going on between us.
322
00:17:17,996 --> 00:17:19,955
MAN: What a beauty.
ANNOUNCER: Yeah, taking it up ice.
323
00:17:20,123 --> 00:17:26,044
- Look, if you'd rather be alone, then...
- No, no, no, it's okay. Have a seat.
324
00:17:26,213 --> 00:17:27,838
Great.
325
00:17:28,924 --> 00:17:33,172
[ANNOUNCER
TALKING INDISTINCTLY]
326
00:17:33,387 --> 00:17:35,012
ANNOUNCER:
Score is still tied, one a piece.
327
00:17:38,517 --> 00:17:41,305
Mm. This food is wonderful.
328
00:17:41,478 --> 00:17:44,266
How do you get your pot roast
so tender and moist?
329
00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:46,475
It's brisket. But thank you.
330
00:17:46,650 --> 00:17:48,062
I don't even think I have room,
331
00:17:48,235 --> 00:17:52,399
but I'm gonna try
a little bit of Annie's kugel.
332
00:17:52,573 --> 00:17:55,112
Well, you don't have to.
It's probably way too salty.
333
00:17:55,284 --> 00:17:57,573
Maybe you shouldn't, Richard.
Your blood pressure.
334
00:17:57,744 --> 00:18:01,411
I have never met a kugel
that I didn't like, and you know that.
335
00:18:01,582 --> 00:18:04,833
Look, I'm just gonna have a little piece.
What, it's gonna kill me?
336
00:18:08,297 --> 00:18:09,543
Mm.
337
00:18:10,465 --> 00:18:11,498
Whoa. Whoa.
338
00:18:14,845 --> 00:18:16,340
Oh.
339
00:18:17,014 --> 00:18:19,802
SARAH: Dad.
- This is fantastic.
340
00:18:20,017 --> 00:18:23,268
I give this five menorahs.
I'm not kidd-- This is unbel--
341
00:18:23,437 --> 00:18:25,098
Hey, will you--? Do you mind?
342
00:18:25,272 --> 00:18:26,933
Can I have some fun
every now and then?
343
00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:29,017
She knows all of my routines.
344
00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:31,311
It's gonna be so great
having Matt in the family.
345
00:18:31,486 --> 00:18:33,610
You know, I can bring back
all my old material.
346
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:36,189
Well, I'm looking forward to it.
347
00:18:36,366 --> 00:18:38,443
That's what you think.
Don't get him started,
348
00:18:38,619 --> 00:18:41,158
or he might try for open-mike night
at the Wailing Wall.
349
00:18:41,663 --> 00:18:42,696
[LAUGHS]
350
00:18:42,915 --> 00:18:43,947
It isn't fair.
351
00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:47,459
She's home with Robbie,
and I'm here getting fat.
352
00:18:47,628 --> 00:18:49,586
I can't take it.
353
00:18:50,506 --> 00:18:51,917
Excuse me, Rabbi Glass.
354
00:18:52,382 --> 00:18:55,005
Could I use your telephone?
It's kind of important.
355
00:18:55,177 --> 00:18:56,293
Is everything okay, Lucy?
356
00:18:56,470 --> 00:19:00,599
Everything's fine.
It's just an important personal thing.
357
00:19:00,766 --> 00:19:04,599
Rabbi Glass, isn't it forbidden
to use the telephone on Shabbat?
358
00:19:04,770 --> 00:19:06,431
I'm trying to get a handle
on everything.
359
00:19:06,605 --> 00:19:08,812
That's a good question.
You know, most Orthodox Jews,
360
00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:11,606
they try to avoid aspects
of the outside world
361
00:19:11,777 --> 00:19:13,106
because, from their perspective,
362
00:19:13,278 --> 00:19:15,355
they think it sort of intrudes
on the Sabbath.
363
00:19:15,572 --> 00:19:18,029
You know, they stay away from,
like, phones and TVs and cars
364
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:19,861
and handling of money,
that sort of thing.
365
00:19:20,035 --> 00:19:22,029
But many modern Jews, like myself,
366
00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:25,075
we have more
of an easygoing attitude.
367
00:19:25,249 --> 00:19:27,705
So the answer to the question is,
hey, yeah.
368
00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:30,368
Yeah, you can use the phone, Lucy.
And take it in my study.
369
00:19:30,546 --> 00:19:32,089
Thank you.
370
00:19:38,804 --> 00:19:40,180
[DOOR CLOSES]
371
00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:42,890
What's wrong, honey?
372
00:19:43,809 --> 00:19:45,269
Nothing.
373
00:19:45,435 --> 00:19:47,310
It's wonderful.
374
00:19:47,521 --> 00:19:51,472
- Mm. Best kugel I ever had. Ha-ha.
- You've had kugel?
375
00:19:52,776 --> 00:19:54,319
Uh-- No.
376
00:19:55,696 --> 00:19:57,570
- You are so--
- I know.
377
00:19:58,365 --> 00:19:59,860
I know.
378
00:20:01,201 --> 00:20:02,613
ANNOUNCER [OVER TV]:
Lot of action in front of the net.
379
00:20:02,786 --> 00:20:04,696
Now, nothing's happened yet.
They've worked the puck down low.
380
00:20:04,872 --> 00:20:07,624
[PHONE RINGS]
381
00:20:07,791 --> 00:20:09,334
[SIGHS]
382
00:20:09,501 --> 00:20:11,210
Hello?
383
00:20:12,629 --> 00:20:15,501
No, thanks. We already have
home delivery of a newspaper.
384
00:20:15,716 --> 00:20:16,997
Don't give me that.
385
00:20:17,176 --> 00:20:18,505
I'm just calling to let you know
386
00:20:18,677 --> 00:20:21,346
that I know exactly what you did
and why.
387
00:20:21,555 --> 00:20:23,714
No, really, we're very happy
with our newspaper.
388
00:20:23,891 --> 00:20:26,465
It has exactly the kind of news
we like to read.
389
00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:28,020
I'm gonna go check on the twins.
390
00:20:28,187 --> 00:20:29,646
LUCY:
For you to fake a sickness
391
00:20:29,855 --> 00:20:32,726
just so you could stay home
with Robbie is totally despicable.
392
00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:34,181
I bet you're in there right now
393
00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:37,646
getting him to put a cold rag
on your fake hot head.
394
00:20:37,863 --> 00:20:39,940
Oh, please.
We're just sitting around.
395
00:20:40,157 --> 00:20:43,574
- I bet.
- Okay, you caught us.
396
00:20:43,744 --> 00:20:48,620
We're talking, listening to some music.
Sometimes we get up and dance.
397
00:20:48,832 --> 00:20:52,035
Slow, real slow.
398
00:20:52,211 --> 00:20:54,500
- But nothing's going on.
- You lie, I know it.
399
00:20:54,671 --> 00:20:56,001
I hope the twins wake up
400
00:20:56,173 --> 00:21:00,635
and bear witness to whatever evil it is
you're doing on the Sabbath.
401
00:21:00,844 --> 00:21:03,763
- It's not the Sabbath.
- The Jewish Sabbath.
402
00:21:03,931 --> 00:21:05,390
Don't you know anything?
403
00:21:06,141 --> 00:21:07,173
[PHONE BEEPS]
404
00:21:07,392 --> 00:21:09,303
[DIAL TONE HUMMING]
405
00:21:12,064 --> 00:21:14,472
Hey, look who's up
and wants to hang out with us.
406
00:21:14,942 --> 00:21:15,974
[ROBBIE CHUCKLES]
407
00:21:18,195 --> 00:21:19,227
SAM:
Puppy.
408
00:21:19,404 --> 00:21:21,065
DAVID:
That's my puppy.
409
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:22,865
Freaky.
410
00:21:23,075 --> 00:21:27,323
I'm only half Jewish, but I still follow
many of the precepts of Judaism.
411
00:21:27,496 --> 00:21:32,538
For example, at a ball game,
I always order the kosher hot dog.
412
00:21:32,751 --> 00:21:33,997
[MORRIS CHUCKLES]
413
00:21:34,461 --> 00:21:35,873
Okay, it's usually more expensive,
414
00:21:36,046 --> 00:21:38,965
but what's a quarter
to help support your religion, huh?
415
00:21:39,675 --> 00:21:43,009
Thank you, Rabbi Glass,
for letting me use your study.
416
00:21:44,304 --> 00:21:47,591
Um... Do you think
I can use your phone too, Rabbi?
417
00:21:47,766 --> 00:21:50,721
Actually, Morris and I,
we need to change some plans.
418
00:21:50,936 --> 00:21:53,558
- Yeah, go right ahead.
SIMON: Thank you.
419
00:22:01,697 --> 00:22:02,729
[EXHALES]
420
00:22:08,579 --> 00:22:12,114
Rosina, how tall are you these days?
421
00:22:15,794 --> 00:22:18,713
Hey, were you so desperate
to get a free meal
422
00:22:18,881 --> 00:22:20,755
that you had to lie
about being part Jewish?
423
00:22:21,758 --> 00:22:25,840
- I am part Jewish.
- I'm more Jewish, and I'm not Jewish.
424
00:22:26,013 --> 00:22:27,294
You're gonna get us both killed
425
00:22:27,472 --> 00:22:30,011
if you don't stop talking about things
you know nothing about.
426
00:22:30,184 --> 00:22:33,719
- Well, maybe I used to know more.
- Oh, great.
427
00:22:33,896 --> 00:22:36,732
Good, because you're supposed to be
a good example of mixed marriages.
428
00:22:36,899 --> 00:22:39,106
After tonight,
they might ban marriages of all kinds.
429
00:22:39,318 --> 00:22:41,561
Well, I didn't know
I was here as some kind of exhibit.
430
00:22:48,452 --> 00:22:51,407
Well, of course,
we'll both finish medical school.
431
00:22:51,622 --> 00:22:54,956
We think it'll be easier because...
432
00:22:57,461 --> 00:22:59,454
Because nothing.
433
00:22:59,630 --> 00:23:03,165
Well, because we have each other,
we can focus on our studies.
434
00:23:03,342 --> 00:23:05,051
Yeah, that's logical.
435
00:23:05,219 --> 00:23:07,011
ERIC:
A marriage brings certain pressures.
436
00:23:07,221 --> 00:23:10,804
It requires energy and work.
437
00:23:11,016 --> 00:23:15,145
Marriage can be very hard to balance
when pursuing an education
438
00:23:15,312 --> 00:23:17,306
or a career,
especially in the first couple years.
439
00:23:17,481 --> 00:23:20,483
The first couple years of marriage
can be completely distracting.
440
00:23:21,276 --> 00:23:24,397
- Don't you agree, Richard?
- It's still distracting. I don't know.
441
00:23:24,571 --> 00:23:28,155
Last week, when my darling
wore Manolo Blahniks, whoa,
442
00:23:28,325 --> 00:23:31,113
my yarmulke kept popping off my head
every five minutes.
443
00:23:31,912 --> 00:23:34,404
Spike heels.
On "The O List," Oprah's magazine.
444
00:23:34,581 --> 00:23:36,871
I'm a voracious reader.
I keep up with this style stuff.
445
00:23:37,042 --> 00:23:40,044
Dad, I think you're not considering
some of the positives
446
00:23:40,254 --> 00:23:42,046
of our getting married
and going to school.
447
00:23:42,214 --> 00:23:43,674
Okay, maybe I haven't.
448
00:23:43,841 --> 00:23:46,249
Everyone knows how insanely hard
medical school is.
449
00:23:46,426 --> 00:23:48,669
But we have our own
built-in support system 24/7.
450
00:23:48,846 --> 00:23:51,468
If one of us has a problem,
the other one's right there to help.
451
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:54,049
- Right there.
- That's a good point.
452
00:23:54,268 --> 00:23:57,353
You know, Matt, maybe you should've
married my daughter in high school.
453
00:23:57,563 --> 00:24:00,814
Particularly during freshman algebra.
Remember it? It gave you such fits,
454
00:24:00,983 --> 00:24:04,068
you started breaking out with
those isosceles triangles on your face.
455
00:24:05,737 --> 00:24:07,363
You know, Richard,
I admire your ability
456
00:24:07,531 --> 00:24:12,028
to handle this momentous event
in our lives so well.
457
00:24:12,619 --> 00:24:14,696
I guess I'm still
coming to terms with it.
458
00:24:14,872 --> 00:24:18,573
Well, to be really honest, you know,
when our daughter told us
459
00:24:18,750 --> 00:24:22,085
that she was gonna marry Matt,
Rosina and I were really thrown.
460
00:24:22,254 --> 00:24:24,663
And believe me,
my wife is not easily thrown.
461
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:27,462
I mean, she's more like,
you know, Mary Sunshine.
462
00:24:27,634 --> 00:24:29,379
You know, like the eternal optimist.
463
00:24:29,595 --> 00:24:32,929
All we could see were the pitfalls lying
ahead of these two kids, you know.
464
00:24:33,140 --> 00:24:35,632
Until, you know, the idea of converting
was put on the table,
465
00:24:35,809 --> 00:24:37,933
and then everything made,
you know, much more sense.
466
00:24:38,103 --> 00:24:41,188
I mean... And then we felt,
you know, a lot better.
467
00:24:42,774 --> 00:24:44,104
I mean, I felt a lot better.
468
00:24:45,068 --> 00:24:46,813
[SIGHS]
469
00:24:48,822 --> 00:24:50,531
I didn't realise.
470
00:24:52,659 --> 00:24:55,448
I didn't know
Sarah is considering converting.
471
00:24:58,624 --> 00:25:00,285
Um...
472
00:25:00,459 --> 00:25:03,710
Not exactly Sarah, Dad.
473
00:25:04,505 --> 00:25:05,786
[UTENSIL CLINKS]
474
00:25:24,441 --> 00:25:26,684
We're just exploring the idea.
475
00:25:29,613 --> 00:25:32,816
- I'm exploring.
- Exploring?
476
00:25:33,033 --> 00:25:36,450
You know, considering it,
discussing it.
477
00:25:36,662 --> 00:25:39,996
Discussing it? With whom?
Not with us.
478
00:25:41,583 --> 00:25:43,292
I was gonna talk to you
and Dad about it.
479
00:25:43,460 --> 00:25:45,917
I was just looking for the right time.
480
00:25:46,088 --> 00:25:48,046
Do you think that this, here, now,
481
00:25:48,215 --> 00:25:52,166
is the right time
for your father and me to...?
482
00:25:53,470 --> 00:25:54,847
Eric, are you okay?
483
00:25:56,598 --> 00:25:59,268
- Eric?
- What? Oh.
484
00:25:59,852 --> 00:26:03,304
- Yeah, I'm fine.
- You don't look fine.
485
00:26:04,314 --> 00:26:06,142
No, really, I'm fine.
486
00:26:10,404 --> 00:26:14,319
Rosina, this dish is sensational.
What do you call it?
487
00:26:15,701 --> 00:26:17,244
Peas.
488
00:26:17,995 --> 00:26:19,371
[WHISPERS]
Pea...
489
00:26:20,455 --> 00:26:24,157
So does this mean that
you're gonna have to get circumcised?
490
00:26:24,376 --> 00:26:25,705
[STAMMERS]
Ruthie, I--
491
00:26:26,879 --> 00:26:28,753
My...
492
00:26:28,922 --> 00:26:31,165
You know,
it's none of your business.
493
00:26:31,592 --> 00:26:34,510
- Could I use the phone again, Rabbi?
- Please do.
494
00:26:35,262 --> 00:26:36,923
And I pray
you use the speakerphone,
495
00:26:37,097 --> 00:26:39,221
because I think we all can use
a little distraction.
496
00:26:39,391 --> 00:26:40,886
Maybe I can make the call for you.
497
00:26:41,143 --> 00:26:42,519
[CHUCKLES]
498
00:26:43,312 --> 00:26:46,847
Evidently not.
Anyone here need a phone?
499
00:26:47,024 --> 00:26:48,934
You know, we have two lines
here at the house.
500
00:26:49,860 --> 00:26:50,892
[DOOR CLOSES]
501
00:26:51,069 --> 00:26:53,193
Restroom? Closet?
502
00:26:53,739 --> 00:26:57,191
You know, by the way, we happen
to have two emergency exits.
503
00:26:57,409 --> 00:27:01,194
You know,
in case you have the need to flee.
504
00:27:01,371 --> 00:27:04,539
I, of course, can't flee. Heh.
505
00:27:04,750 --> 00:27:07,242
I live here. Welcome.
506
00:27:16,470 --> 00:27:19,804
[INHALES DEEPLY, EXHALES]
507
00:27:20,015 --> 00:27:21,843
ANNOUNCER [OVER TV]:
Guess it's time to drop the gloves.
508
00:27:22,017 --> 00:27:23,726
Now they're not gonna go at it.
509
00:27:23,894 --> 00:27:30,396
Okay, I really didn't wanna watch TV.
I wanna talk.
510
00:27:30,859 --> 00:27:32,520
About?
511
00:27:33,070 --> 00:27:34,648
Us.
512
00:27:35,155 --> 00:27:36,734
Us?
513
00:27:36,907 --> 00:27:38,984
Yes, us.
514
00:27:39,576 --> 00:27:42,115
I still feel like we have
some unfinished business.
515
00:27:42,329 --> 00:27:43,990
There isn't an us.
516
00:27:44,164 --> 00:27:48,827
There's a me, and there's a you,
but no us. Nothing unfinished.
517
00:27:49,044 --> 00:27:52,379
[PHONE RINGS]
518
00:27:52,714 --> 00:27:53,795
Hello?
519
00:27:54,007 --> 00:27:56,677
If you continue to take advantage
of this unfair situation,
520
00:27:56,844 --> 00:27:58,802
you could do permanent harm
to our relationship.
521
00:27:58,971 --> 00:28:00,051
Think before you respond.
522
00:28:00,264 --> 00:28:02,756
Ma'am, if you continue to hound us
523
00:28:02,933 --> 00:28:05,176
with these high-pressure
soliciting tactics,
524
00:28:05,352 --> 00:28:07,761
I'm gonna have to call your boss,
the solicitor general.
525
00:28:07,938 --> 00:28:10,015
You could lose your job.
526
00:28:12,985 --> 00:28:14,396
[DIAL TONE HUMMING]
527
00:28:14,570 --> 00:28:15,899
[SIGHS]
528
00:28:16,113 --> 00:28:18,403
Dad, nothing
officially has been decided yet.
529
00:28:18,574 --> 00:28:20,235
There's still a long way to go.
530
00:28:21,410 --> 00:28:23,902
Rosina and I both, you know,
assumed that you knew that,
531
00:28:24,079 --> 00:28:25,658
you know,
this was under consideration.
532
00:28:25,831 --> 00:28:30,079
But we certainly didn't intend
to, like, surprise you, Eric.
533
00:28:30,711 --> 00:28:31,874
Eric?
534
00:28:33,547 --> 00:28:37,047
He seems to be in a trance
over his salad bowl.
535
00:28:37,217 --> 00:28:39,507
What are--? What is this?
536
00:28:39,678 --> 00:28:41,339
Excuse me, everyone.
537
00:28:41,513 --> 00:28:43,637
Something has come up,
and I have to go.
538
00:28:43,849 --> 00:28:47,266
I'm really very sorry.
Matt, do you think I could use your car,
539
00:28:47,436 --> 00:28:49,726
and maybe you could go home
with Mom and Dad?
540
00:28:49,897 --> 00:28:52,270
- Uh...
- Morris could drop us off.
541
00:28:52,774 --> 00:28:56,987
Oh, that's fine. Listen, Lucy, Simon,
we've really enjoyed meeting you.
542
00:28:57,154 --> 00:28:58,779
Good night.
543
00:28:59,615 --> 00:29:00,861
And Morris.
544
00:29:08,624 --> 00:29:11,875
Well, okay. Alrighty.
545
00:29:13,128 --> 00:29:15,205
All right, enough, okay?
546
00:29:15,380 --> 00:29:17,540
Enough tiptoeing around
a very serious subject.
547
00:29:18,300 --> 00:29:20,590
A big mistake is being made
by two young people here,
548
00:29:20,761 --> 00:29:22,173
and no one wants to talk about it.
549
00:29:22,387 --> 00:29:24,714
- I told you, we're gonna complete--
ERIC: I know.
550
00:29:24,890 --> 00:29:27,216
You told me all about
the buddy-system approach to school.
551
00:29:27,392 --> 00:29:28,638
There's a bigger problem here.
552
00:29:28,810 --> 00:29:31,766
It's the problem of a person who thinks
that they can change who they are.
553
00:29:31,980 --> 00:29:35,979
As if changing religions
is as simple as changing shirts.
554
00:29:36,193 --> 00:29:38,602
- Dad, I know it's not--
- Long sleeves, short sleeves.
555
00:29:38,779 --> 00:29:41,567
Plaid or striped. It's only a shirt.
556
00:29:41,782 --> 00:29:44,274
You don't need to discuss a shirt
with those close to you.
557
00:29:44,451 --> 00:29:46,077
Tomorrow,
you'll just wear another one.
558
00:29:46,286 --> 00:29:49,621
I was gonna discuss it with you.
I was just looking for the right time.
559
00:29:49,831 --> 00:29:52,324
And when would that be?
At the bris of your firstborn?
560
00:29:52,501 --> 00:29:54,909
Honey, I think
we should discuss this at home.
561
00:29:56,338 --> 00:29:58,628
I apologise
if I'm making anyone uncomfortable,
562
00:29:58,799 --> 00:30:02,085
but I guess I'm struggling
with this one basic question.
563
00:30:02,261 --> 00:30:04,053
I don't know,
maybe you can clarify it.
564
00:30:04,263 --> 00:30:09,601
God, for 21 years, you had
this one abiding concept in your life:
565
00:30:09,768 --> 00:30:11,809
Jesus.
566
00:30:11,979 --> 00:30:15,099
And now you take one bite of kugel,
and suddenly, no Jesus?
567
00:30:15,691 --> 00:30:19,689
It's not even Jewish kugel.
It's good old-fashioned Wasp kugel.
568
00:30:20,988 --> 00:30:22,732
RICHARD:
I have a suggestion.
569
00:30:22,948 --> 00:30:25,072
Why don't we just take
a collective breath
570
00:30:25,242 --> 00:30:27,734
and maybe move
into the living room
571
00:30:27,911 --> 00:30:30,664
and have a little cake
and coffee, relax?
572
00:30:30,831 --> 00:30:32,243
And then I'm gonna invite everyone
573
00:30:32,416 --> 00:30:35,252
to take a nice little walk
around the block to my temple
574
00:30:35,419 --> 00:30:36,534
for the Oneg Shabbat,
575
00:30:36,753 --> 00:30:39,162
which is a very casual,
very short service,
576
00:30:39,339 --> 00:30:44,086
after which you will then be served
some more cake and coffee.
577
00:30:48,015 --> 00:30:53,887
Of course, it's not mandatory for you,
but as the rabbi,
578
00:30:54,062 --> 00:30:55,855
I'm expected.
579
00:30:56,064 --> 00:30:58,272
It's a good idea.
Let's all go into the living room.
580
00:30:59,735 --> 00:31:01,812
You're not being reasonable.
581
00:31:02,321 --> 00:31:03,780
I've never seen you like this, Dad.
582
00:31:03,947 --> 00:31:05,407
- You're not being yourself.
- Oh?
583
00:31:05,574 --> 00:31:07,781
I think I am myself.
584
00:31:07,951 --> 00:31:11,617
I think you're the one
who's trying to be someone he's not.
585
00:31:12,539 --> 00:31:14,996
Matt, you're my son.
586
00:31:15,626 --> 00:31:19,126
I know who you are
and who you're not.
587
00:31:19,296 --> 00:31:21,503
And one thing you're not is a Jew.
588
00:31:22,883 --> 00:31:24,129
[STAMMERS]
Wait a second. I--
589
00:31:24,301 --> 00:31:26,460
Um-- I didn't mean it
to sound like that.
590
00:31:26,678 --> 00:31:30,843
I just meant that some people
are Jewish and some aren't.
591
00:31:31,016 --> 00:31:35,513
And you're obviously not a Jew.
Why does that sound so bad?
592
00:31:35,687 --> 00:31:36,969
[LOUDLY]
You're not Jewish,
593
00:31:37,147 --> 00:31:38,975
and that's all there is to it.
594
00:31:41,318 --> 00:31:46,859
Annie, you know,
that kugel was so good.
595
00:31:47,032 --> 00:31:48,824
How did you make it
come out so smooth?
596
00:31:48,992 --> 00:31:53,073
Oh, why, thank you, Rosina.
I followed Mrs. Kaplan's cookbook.
597
00:31:53,247 --> 00:31:57,328
But I didn't have any chicken fat,
so I used a few ounces of cream.
598
00:31:57,543 --> 00:31:58,919
Oh.
599
00:31:59,711 --> 00:32:00,744
Oh.
600
00:32:00,921 --> 00:32:02,464
[SIGHS]
601
00:32:03,048 --> 00:32:04,080
Is something wrong?
602
00:32:04,258 --> 00:32:06,050
It's just that Jewish dietary rules
603
00:32:06,260 --> 00:32:08,419
forbid the mixing of meat and dairy
at the same meal.
604
00:32:08,595 --> 00:32:10,340
So technically,
the meal wasn't kosher.
605
00:32:10,514 --> 00:32:13,385
You didn't know.
It's not the end of the world.
606
00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:16,057
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
607
00:32:16,311 --> 00:32:17,890
[SOBS]
608
00:32:47,342 --> 00:32:48,458
Are they sleeping?
609
00:32:48,677 --> 00:32:49,709
[CHUCKLES]
610
00:32:49,887 --> 00:32:50,919
Out cold.
611
00:32:52,347 --> 00:32:55,136
I wanted to finish
what we were talking about before.
612
00:32:55,309 --> 00:32:57,302
I don't think I made myself clear.
613
00:32:58,061 --> 00:33:00,470
- Don't worry.
- Robbie.
614
00:33:00,647 --> 00:33:03,519
I must be having these feelings
about you for some reason.
615
00:33:03,942 --> 00:33:05,603
Shh. Keep your voice down.
616
00:33:05,777 --> 00:33:07,154
[SOFTLY]
Exactly.
617
00:33:07,321 --> 00:33:09,528
Voices, words, that's the problem.
618
00:33:09,740 --> 00:33:11,532
I say something
that just pops into my head.
619
00:33:11,742 --> 00:33:12,988
You say something.
620
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:15,237
I mean, it's just talk.
That means nothing.
621
00:33:16,371 --> 00:33:19,243
So maybe we could try
another approach
622
00:33:19,416 --> 00:33:21,706
to see how we really feel
about each other.
623
00:33:21,919 --> 00:33:23,580
- Mary.
- It's okay.
624
00:33:23,754 --> 00:33:28,333
This method is way more accurate.
Practically scientific.
625
00:33:28,509 --> 00:33:30,052
And it's a lot quieter.
626
00:33:31,553 --> 00:33:33,843
- Hey, guys.
- Lucy.
627
00:33:36,934 --> 00:33:39,852
- What are you doing here?
- I live here, remember?
628
00:33:40,062 --> 00:33:42,352
- Is everyone home already?
- No.
629
00:33:42,523 --> 00:33:44,481
- Morris dropped off Simon and me.
- How was it?
630
00:33:44,650 --> 00:33:47,106
You missed an incredible dinner.
Sarah's parents are great.
631
00:33:47,277 --> 00:33:50,149
The rabbi's funny, Matt's going
to be Jewish, Dad stopped breathing,
632
00:33:50,322 --> 00:33:53,028
and the food was great.
So, what's happening here?
633
00:33:53,242 --> 00:33:56,030
Nothing. Just checking on the twins,
watching the hockey game.
634
00:33:56,870 --> 00:33:58,780
What, no slow dancing?
635
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:01,832
I saw a bit of the game
when I walked in.
636
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:03,033
It's going into overtime.
637
00:34:03,210 --> 00:34:05,453
Why don't we go downstairs
and watch?
638
00:34:06,296 --> 00:34:09,832
Robbie and me. Not you.
You look terrible.
639
00:34:10,008 --> 00:34:11,717
Well, I feel fine.
640
00:34:11,885 --> 00:34:13,511
And I was watching the game
with Robbie.
641
00:34:13,679 --> 00:34:15,423
So if anyone's
gonna be watching overtime--
642
00:34:15,597 --> 00:34:17,638
[DOORBELL RINGS]
643
00:34:17,850 --> 00:34:19,808
Yeah, I'll get it. Heh-heh.
644
00:34:20,894 --> 00:34:22,639
Oh, you are so immature.
645
00:34:22,813 --> 00:34:25,519
I'm immature?
Look at the way you're behaving.
646
00:34:25,691 --> 00:34:28,562
You had him cornered
like you were some hairy predator
647
00:34:28,735 --> 00:34:30,279
on the Discovery Channel.
648
00:34:30,487 --> 00:34:33,193
Ugh. Unbelievable.
You bounce in here--
649
00:34:33,407 --> 00:34:35,697
Bounce?
You wanna talk about bouncing?
650
00:34:35,868 --> 00:34:39,534
- You're the one on the rebound.
- We're both on the rebound.
651
00:34:39,746 --> 00:34:41,787
JOY: Hi.
ROBBIE: Jeez.
652
00:34:43,250 --> 00:34:44,282
[DOOR CLOSES]
653
00:34:44,459 --> 00:34:46,916
LUCY: Who's here?
- I don't know.
654
00:34:48,672 --> 00:34:50,915
The recording session
was supposed to go till midnight,
655
00:34:51,091 --> 00:34:53,500
but we got lucky and got everything
in the first two takes.
656
00:34:53,677 --> 00:34:57,427
- So I thought I'd surprise you.
- You're one of life's best surprises.
657
00:34:57,598 --> 00:34:58,927
Oh, great, the game's still on.
658
00:34:59,099 --> 00:35:01,935
- Yeah, it just went into overtime.
- Oh, terrific. I love overtime.
659
00:35:02,102 --> 00:35:03,134
It's so tense.
660
00:35:03,312 --> 00:35:04,344
[SIGHS]
661
00:35:04,521 --> 00:35:06,064
To tell you the truth,
662
00:35:06,231 --> 00:35:11,357
this whole night
has been kind of tense.
663
00:35:14,489 --> 00:35:17,824
I could use some relaxation.
664
00:35:21,955 --> 00:35:25,491
- Is that relaxing?
- Oh, yeah.
665
00:35:27,503 --> 00:35:30,540
Well, that's that.
666
00:35:30,714 --> 00:35:32,090
Yep.
667
00:35:32,257 --> 00:35:37,216
Do you wanna stay down here and spy
or just go to our room and stew?
668
00:35:39,014 --> 00:35:40,557
Stew.
669
00:35:40,724 --> 00:35:41,888
Stew.
670
00:35:42,059 --> 00:35:43,554
[WHISPERS]
Yeah.
671
00:35:47,022 --> 00:35:51,235
- I'm so sorry for the kugel, Rosina.
ROSINA: Oh, it's not your fault.
672
00:35:51,693 --> 00:35:55,941
It is my fault. It was my fault
for going so far overboard
673
00:35:56,114 --> 00:35:57,574
just to make a good impression.
674
00:35:57,741 --> 00:36:00,862
I always tell our children
to always be themselves.
675
00:36:01,036 --> 00:36:03,279
And then here I am
trying to be Mrs. Kaplan
676
00:36:03,455 --> 00:36:06,991
instead of Mrs. Camden,
and ruining your dinner in the process.
677
00:36:07,167 --> 00:36:10,917
You didn't ruin anything,
and it's not the end of the world.
678
00:36:11,088 --> 00:36:13,627
To tell the truth,
I wasn't myself either.
679
00:36:14,258 --> 00:36:16,547
Believe it or not,
I'm usually a much friendlier person.
680
00:36:16,718 --> 00:36:21,714
I'm the eternal optimist.
It's my job to not worry.
681
00:36:21,890 --> 00:36:24,928
To balance out Richard and Sarah
worrying about everything.
682
00:36:25,853 --> 00:36:29,519
But tonight, something happened.
683
00:36:29,982 --> 00:36:33,683
- I happened.
- No, you had nothing to do with it.
684
00:36:33,861 --> 00:36:37,527
It happened
when I saw Sarah and Matt tonight.
685
00:36:38,156 --> 00:36:42,618
This little girl who used to come
to Shabbat dinner as my daughter
686
00:36:43,245 --> 00:36:48,869
was there about to be someone's wife,
and it felt like I was losing her.
687
00:36:49,042 --> 00:36:50,538
My only daughter.
688
00:36:50,961 --> 00:36:55,375
Maybe that sounds strange
to someone who has such a big family.
689
00:36:55,549 --> 00:37:00,093
You've got six more when Matt leaves.
Plus, you got that other one.
690
00:37:00,304 --> 00:37:02,262
It doesn't matter
how many kids you have.
691
00:37:02,431 --> 00:37:05,267
When they leave,
a piece of you goes too.
692
00:37:05,475 --> 00:37:09,770
When my oldest daughter, Mary,
moved out, I was devastated.
693
00:37:09,938 --> 00:37:13,355
- I thought I'd never be the same.
- I'm sorry.
694
00:37:13,525 --> 00:37:16,064
Well, she's moved back home,
and I'm still not the same,
695
00:37:16,236 --> 00:37:17,518
but that's a whole other story.
696
00:37:17,696 --> 00:37:20,532
I'll save it for the next dinner that I ruin,
at our house.
697
00:37:20,741 --> 00:37:21,773
I'll ruin that one, okay?
698
00:37:21,950 --> 00:37:23,944
- Just to make you feel better.
- Yeah.
699
00:37:24,161 --> 00:37:25,704
[CHUCKLES]
700
00:37:26,496 --> 00:37:28,537
Annie, I'm glad you went overboard.
701
00:37:28,707 --> 00:37:33,085
It makes me feel so good to know
that my daughter's marrying someone
702
00:37:33,253 --> 00:37:36,255
who has a mother
who cares enough to go overboard.
703
00:37:42,638 --> 00:37:44,964
ERIC: I haven't lost my balance
like that in a long time.
704
00:37:45,140 --> 00:37:46,801
I'm sorry, Richard.
705
00:37:47,935 --> 00:37:50,972
Hey, don't apologise.
You were blindsided.
706
00:37:51,146 --> 00:37:54,812
You know, you stepped off a kerb,
you got hit by a furniture truck.
707
00:37:55,484 --> 00:37:59,103
- It's amazing you're still walking.
- I feel like such a hypocrite.
708
00:37:59,279 --> 00:38:02,566
I've always told my children,
as they get older,
709
00:38:02,741 --> 00:38:05,743
they're gonna have to make their own
choices in life and live with them.
710
00:38:05,911 --> 00:38:08,035
So Matt made a choice,
and then I lost it.
711
00:38:09,248 --> 00:38:11,288
Hey, you know,
he's still considering his choices.
712
00:38:11,458 --> 00:38:12,490
Let's not forget that.
713
00:38:12,668 --> 00:38:14,661
I understand. But, yeah, the point is
714
00:38:14,837 --> 00:38:18,882
I have to do more than pay lip service
to these things I teach my children.
715
00:38:19,049 --> 00:38:21,623
I mean, talk about
not practising what you preach.
716
00:38:21,802 --> 00:38:24,175
Hey, Eric, you know,
between you and me,
717
00:38:24,346 --> 00:38:27,348
don't think that
I'm any pillar of stability myself.
718
00:38:27,516 --> 00:38:28,797
You know, I had my dark moments
719
00:38:28,976 --> 00:38:31,728
when I found out
that Sarah was marrying Matt.
720
00:38:31,895 --> 00:38:35,597
But at least I had the chance to lose it
in the, you know,
721
00:38:35,774 --> 00:38:37,898
privacy of my own home, you know?
722
00:38:42,990 --> 00:38:44,449
These used to be round.
723
00:38:44,741 --> 00:38:46,367
[BALLS CLATTERING]
724
00:38:46,577 --> 00:38:49,532
You know, they bounce a lot better
when they're round.
725
00:38:49,705 --> 00:38:51,366
- That's a lot of flat balls.
- Oh, yeah.
726
00:38:51,540 --> 00:38:54,411
- Yeah.
- About three dozen. Yeah.
727
00:38:56,253 --> 00:38:57,534
Look at this baby.
728
00:38:58,463 --> 00:39:03,340
You know that I won the YMHA
over-40 singles championship
729
00:39:03,510 --> 00:39:04,590
with this baby?
730
00:39:04,803 --> 00:39:07,260
This used to be
my favourite racquet.
731
00:39:07,472 --> 00:39:11,258
Yep, I can lose it
with the best of them.
732
00:39:12,269 --> 00:39:13,550
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
733
00:39:13,729 --> 00:39:15,390
Come in.
734
00:39:18,567 --> 00:39:19,896
[SIGHS]
735
00:39:21,278 --> 00:39:23,900
- Look, I need to talk.
- Of course.
736
00:39:24,072 --> 00:39:26,529
- Hey, listen, guys, let me just--
- No, that's okay, Rabbi.
737
00:39:26,700 --> 00:39:28,361
I wanna get a few things
out in the open,
738
00:39:28,535 --> 00:39:30,908
and the more open, the better.
739
00:39:31,079 --> 00:39:32,243
Dad, I was sitting out there
740
00:39:32,414 --> 00:39:34,574
feeling rotten for everything
that happened tonight.
741
00:39:34,791 --> 00:39:38,327
- Matt, you don't have--
- Dad, let me finish.
742
00:39:38,670 --> 00:39:40,960
The truth is I only have one thing
to feel rotten about,
743
00:39:41,131 --> 00:39:43,800
and that's not coming to you first
and discussing the possibility
744
00:39:43,967 --> 00:39:45,166
of me converting to Judaism.
745
00:39:45,802 --> 00:39:48,888
But it's still open for discussion,
even though...
746
00:39:49,056 --> 00:39:50,931
You know, Dad,
I am madly in love with a woman
747
00:39:51,099 --> 00:39:53,592
who shares my hopes and dreams
for a good life.
748
00:39:55,354 --> 00:39:58,142
Not just for the two of us,
but for everyone.
749
00:39:58,315 --> 00:40:02,230
And we each got that same dream
from our two very different families
750
00:40:02,402 --> 00:40:05,191
and from
our two very different religions.
751
00:40:06,657 --> 00:40:09,824
Yet our families and religions
are not so different,
752
00:40:09,993 --> 00:40:11,904
because we all share
the same moral principles.
753
00:40:12,079 --> 00:40:15,116
We all wanna love and be loved.
We're all part of the same life.
754
00:40:15,290 --> 00:40:18,328
And if you can believe that,
then you know it'll all be okay.
755
00:40:18,877 --> 00:40:20,705
Everything will be fine.
756
00:40:23,799 --> 00:40:25,591
Is this where we say amen?
757
00:40:29,263 --> 00:40:30,295
[SIGHS]
758
00:40:32,432 --> 00:40:35,351
I know that my favourite congregation
is getting a little hungry,
759
00:40:35,519 --> 00:40:37,014
but I also know
that most of you know
760
00:40:37,187 --> 00:40:40,688
that the words "Oneg Shabbat"
means Sabbath delight,
761
00:40:40,858 --> 00:40:46,196
and that many of us associate that
with the spirit of the Sabbath.
762
00:40:46,363 --> 00:40:48,487
Some associate it
763
00:40:48,657 --> 00:40:50,734
with Mrs. Zimmerman's
oatmeal-raisin cookies.
764
00:40:50,909 --> 00:40:52,191
[CROWD LAUGHS]
765
00:40:52,369 --> 00:40:54,908
And some with Mrs. Zimmerman.
766
00:40:55,122 --> 00:40:56,451
[CROWD LAUGHS]
767
00:40:59,042 --> 00:41:01,534
But tonight, there's another delight.
768
00:41:01,712 --> 00:41:04,168
For me, it's a personal one
and for my family.
769
00:41:04,381 --> 00:41:09,044
It's the delight I had opening my home
to the Camdens.
770
00:41:09,469 --> 00:41:13,515
I would like to welcome
my beautiful daughter's fiancé, Matt,
771
00:41:13,682 --> 00:41:19,389
and a small portion
of his wonderful family to our service.
772
00:41:19,605 --> 00:41:22,808
Eric, you sure you don't want to say
a few words?
773
00:41:22,983 --> 00:41:24,562
- Well?
- Really? That's--?
774
00:41:24,735 --> 00:41:28,686
You know, I've never known
of a minister, or certainly a rabbi,
775
00:41:28,906 --> 00:41:30,899
who didn't take
the opportunity to talk.
776
00:41:31,074 --> 00:41:32,404
[CROWD LAUGHS]
777
00:41:32,576 --> 00:41:35,827
Oh, really? How nice.
778
00:41:37,372 --> 00:41:38,654
Oh.
779
00:41:38,832 --> 00:41:40,577
- It's an honour.
- Thank you, Rabbi.
780
00:41:40,751 --> 00:41:43,420
I would like to say just a few words.
781
00:41:43,629 --> 00:41:48,007
I'd like you to know how welcome
you made us feel in your home tonight.
782
00:41:50,802 --> 00:41:52,381
And now here in the temple.
783
00:41:52,596 --> 00:41:54,471
As my son pointed out to me,
784
00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:57,511
even though there are many
differences between our religions,
785
00:41:57,684 --> 00:42:00,473
there are also things that unite us,
that are universal,
786
00:42:00,646 --> 00:42:06,400
and transcend churches and temples
and faiths of all kind.
787
00:42:06,610 --> 00:42:10,940
And the one transcendent thing
that jumps to my mind right now
788
00:42:11,490 --> 00:42:13,282
is love.
789
00:42:13,825 --> 00:42:16,115
Love for family.
790
00:42:16,286 --> 00:42:18,446
Love for friends.
791
00:42:18,622 --> 00:42:20,165
And...
792
00:42:20,582 --> 00:42:23,039
And the love
that two young people feel
793
00:42:23,210 --> 00:42:27,125
who know that, together,
they can overcome any obstacles
794
00:42:27,297 --> 00:42:29,338
that life puts in their way.
795
00:42:30,759 --> 00:42:33,465
And so to you, Rabbi,
796
00:42:35,138 --> 00:42:36,420
and Rosina,
797
00:42:37,140 --> 00:42:41,435
and to all of you,
let me just say thank you.
798
00:42:43,063 --> 00:42:44,523
And Shabbat shalom.
799
00:42:44,690 --> 00:42:47,727
CROWD:
Shabbat shalom.
800
00:42:48,902 --> 00:42:50,979
[CROWD CHATTERING]
801
00:42:51,947 --> 00:42:53,608
Thank you.
802
00:42:55,117 --> 00:42:57,573
Well, that was quite eloquent.
803
00:42:57,786 --> 00:43:01,121
And on that fitting note,
our service is concluded.
804
00:43:01,290 --> 00:43:04,991
So now we can make our way,
in an orderly fashion, please,
805
00:43:05,210 --> 00:43:07,120
back to the refreshment area.
806
00:43:07,337 --> 00:43:11,170
So, Mrs. Zimmerman, get ready,
because we're ready for you.
807
00:43:11,341 --> 00:43:15,969
And to quote the reverend,
Shabbat shalom.
808
00:43:16,180 --> 00:43:18,802
CROWD:
Shabbat shalom.
809
00:43:26,773 --> 00:43:28,851
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]