1 00:00:04,138 --> 00:00:06,068 - [muffled] You find something? 2 00:00:06,107 --> 00:00:07,377 - Still deciding. 3 00:00:10,444 --> 00:00:11,714 - Come on. 4 00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:13,205 You're supposed to be looking up porn. 5 00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:14,577 - This is my porn. 6 00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:16,175 I'm sorry, but the sale ends at midnight. 7 00:00:16,217 --> 00:00:17,487 There, I'm done. 8 00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:20,418 - Oh, God. 9 00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:22,264 - Hey, don't be mad. 10 00:00:22,290 --> 00:00:24,490 I'm kind of achy. I can't get into it tonight. 11 00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,055 - Look, I'm not feeling great either, 12 00:00:26,094 --> 00:00:27,604 but that didn't affect my game. 13 00:00:27,628 --> 00:00:29,558 - How about I take care of you while you watch porn? 14 00:00:29,597 --> 00:00:32,467 - Honestly, I don't think I'm in the mood anymore. 15 00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:34,200 Think I'm gonna watch some hockey scores. 16 00:00:34,235 --> 00:00:35,565 - Do it. 17 00:00:35,603 --> 00:00:37,273 - Ovechkin had a hell of a game tonight. 18 00:00:37,305 --> 00:00:39,535 Scored two goals. 19 00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:43,583 Oh, God--he's just so talented for his size. 20 00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:45,181 [panting] Oh, God. 21 00:00:45,213 --> 00:00:46,413 [dull thumping] 22 00:00:46,447 --> 00:00:48,117 Hey, what's wrong? - Unbelievable. 23 00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:49,449 - What? 24 00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:51,123 - Somebody up there just got on a treadmill. 25 00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:52,792 - Yeah, so what? 26 00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:55,460 - Who works out in the middle of the night? 27 00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:56,759 You have to go up and tell whoever it is 28 00:00:56,790 --> 00:00:58,330 to turn the treadmill off. 29 00:00:58,359 --> 00:00:59,659 - They'll probably stop in a little while. 30 00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:01,433 - Tell them to stop now. 31 00:01:03,231 --> 00:01:05,531 - What if I go upstairs and it's a really hot chick 32 00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:07,166 and she's sweaty? 33 00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:09,541 - Then bang her into stopping, if you have to. 34 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:10,700 Go! 35 00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:13,738 [treadmill whirring] 36 00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:17,776 [whirring stops] 37 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:23,580 - Hey. Paul Rosenberg. 38 00:01:23,617 --> 00:01:25,787 Me and my wife and my kid, we live downstairs. 39 00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:27,159 We're your neighbors. 40 00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:28,658 - It's late. What do you want? 41 00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:30,689 - Well, we're just trying to get some sleep. 42 00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:34,734 And I guess your treadmill is right above our room. 43 00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:36,602 - So? 44 00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:38,700 - So I was wondering if you could knock it off. 45 00:01:38,732 --> 00:01:39,832 - Knock it off? 46 00:01:39,867 --> 00:01:41,797 - Yeah, just for tonight. 47 00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:43,265 - Yeah, why don't you get out of here, you pussy, 48 00:01:43,304 --> 00:01:45,914 before I break you in half? 49 00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,909 [treadmill whirring, dull thumping] 50 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,152 - Nice work. 51 00:01:57,218 --> 00:02:00,248 [Zeus' "You Gotta Teller"] 52 00:02:00,288 --> 00:02:03,388 [upbeat rock music] 53 00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:04,794 * 54 00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:06,585 - * You gotta tell her 55 00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:07,927 * 56 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:09,301 * She's got to know 57 00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:10,860 - Yeah! 58 00:02:10,898 --> 00:02:12,228 - * You gotta tell her 59 00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:13,696 * 60 00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:16,304 * She's got to know 61 00:02:16,337 --> 00:02:17,607 [skates scraping] 62 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,349 - What happened to your face? 63 00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:28,621 Is that-- - Chicken pox! 64 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:29,879 - I thought you had it as a kid. 65 00:02:29,917 --> 00:02:31,687 - Yeah, but apparently you can get it twice. 66 00:02:31,719 --> 00:02:33,649 I've been looking it up on my phone all morning. 67 00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:34,787 - How did you get it? 68 00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,362 - Played a team a couple weeks ago, 69 00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:38,660 and the center had pock marks all over his face. 70 00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:39,962 We just thought he was ugly. 71 00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:41,333 Turns out, it's chicken pox. 72 00:02:41,362 --> 00:02:43,302 Anthony has it. Sebalos has it. 73 00:02:43,331 --> 00:02:44,771 It's just passing from player to player 74 00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:46,628 like the mumps outbreak in the NHL. 75 00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:49,967 - Except shitty players get a shittier illness. 76 00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:51,973 Yeah, you're right. It's chicken pox. 77 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,535 - I just told you I looked it up. 78 00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:54,814 Why'd you have to look it up again? 79 00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:55,982 - Ugh, just stay away from me. 80 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,579 I don't feel well as it is. 81 00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:04,416 You gave me chicken pox. 82 00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:06,252 - I don't see a single pox on you. 83 00:03:06,287 --> 00:03:08,457 - That's because they're in a very, very bad place. 84 00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:16,427 - All right. Declan's at my parents'. 85 00:03:16,464 --> 00:03:18,374 They said that he can stay as long as we want. 86 00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:19,999 - Great. 87 00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,703 - Guess it's just me and you for a few days. 88 00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,335 - Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 89 00:03:23,371 --> 00:03:24,941 - TV. - Sex. 90 00:03:24,972 --> 00:03:26,842 - I'm closed for business down there, remember? 91 00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:28,614 - Yeah, I just thought that maybe there'd be 92 00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:29,882 some way to-- 93 00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:31,450 - There's not. 94 00:03:31,479 --> 00:03:33,009 - Okay. Yeah. 95 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,476 - Let's pick a show... - Mm-hmm. 96 00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:35,775 - And watch an entire season today. 97 00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:37,016 We can see what's on demand. 98 00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:39,590 - Yay. 99 00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:40,950 - "Downton Abbey." 100 00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:43,818 - "Walking Dead." - "Scandal." 101 00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:45,857 - "Sons of Anarchy," that's a good one. 102 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:47,703 - No. - Okay. 103 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,558 - "Girls." 104 00:03:49,597 --> 00:03:51,627 - Is there nudity in "Girls"? - Oh, yeah. 105 00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:53,625 - Bingo. This'll be fun. 106 00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:58,709 [doorbell rings] 107 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,439 - Okay, I'll get it. I'll get it. 108 00:04:00,474 --> 00:04:01,844 - Yo, Paulie! 109 00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:02,975 What's up, bro? 110 00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:04,410 - What's up? 111 00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:05,405 What are you doing here? 112 00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:06,446 - My mother said I had to go 113 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:07,750 before I got her and Dad sick. 114 00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:09,281 She's boiling my sheets right now. 115 00:04:09,317 --> 00:04:10,677 - So? 116 00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:11,748 - So I'm gonna crash here with you guys. 117 00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:13,415 We'll be quarantine buddies. 118 00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:14,824 Excuse me. 119 00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:16,755 Your breath is atrocious. Jesus Christ. 120 00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:24,372 - Who works at work anymore? - OMG. 121 00:04:24,398 --> 00:04:25,768 - There is a silver lining here. 122 00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:27,399 I was supposed to go pay Vito today. 123 00:04:27,435 --> 00:04:29,465 But I called him and said I had chicken pox. 124 00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:30,903 Guy's not gonna want to see me for a while. 125 00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:33,468 [chuckles] Seriously, what is this? 126 00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:34,737 "Girls," bro? 127 00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:36,075 You're really gonna watch this shit? 128 00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,549 - If you don't like it, you can go home... 129 00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:38,908 to your parents' house. 130 00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:40,506 - Hey, I pay rent. 131 00:04:40,548 --> 00:04:41,678 - They must be really proud. 132 00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:42,775 - They are. 133 00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:44,076 - Anyone who thinks "The Sopranos" 134 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,947 is an offensive Italian-American stereotype 135 00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:47,916 should meet your family. 136 00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,785 [doorbell rings] 137 00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:51,433 - I'll get it. 138 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,097 - [belches] 139 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:58,968 - Dude, you should be at home in bed right now. 140 00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:00,499 - [groans] 141 00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:14,620 - Oh, Shitski! 142 00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:17,048 - Dickie, what are you doing here? 143 00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:18,754 - Door wasn't locked. 144 00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:20,846 And I heard about the chicken pox party. 145 00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:22,618 Oh, awesome, "Girls"! 146 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,426 - You watch this show? - Yeah. 147 00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:26,058 This is the one where you get to see the fat chick pee. 148 00:05:26,093 --> 00:05:27,833 - I can't believe we're missing the game tonight. 149 00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:29,501 - Oh, dude, they're gonna get killed without us. 150 00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:31,530 - Probably not. 151 00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:33,495 We're undefeated when you miss a game. 152 00:05:35,603 --> 00:05:36,803 - Bullshit. 153 00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,437 - No, it's true. 154 00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:39,672 - One time, we kept the win streak going 155 00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:41,637 by emailing you a fake schedule. 156 00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:43,605 - That's not cool at all. 157 00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:48,816 Oh, check it out. She's gonna pee soon. 158 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,649 Hey, after this, we should watch the one 159 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,454 where the hot chick gets her ass munched. 160 00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:55,056 - Yes, Shitski! 161 00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:56,658 - Hey, I'm sorry. 162 00:06:02,630 --> 00:06:04,730 - Dude, you have nothing in here. 163 00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:06,495 - Oh, bologna, dibs. 164 00:06:06,534 --> 00:06:08,474 - Hey, put it back. That's Declan's. 165 00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:09,772 Declan loves bologna. 166 00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:11,003 - I mean, look at this. 167 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:13,668 Feta crumbles, low-fat margarine, 168 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,037 low-fat cream cheese. 169 00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:17,035 What am I, at my fat-ass Aunt Sylvia's house? 170 00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:19,177 - It's healthier, okay? 171 00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:20,682 - Yeah, that's what they want you to think. 172 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:21,924 Read the labels. It's all chemicals. 173 00:06:21,949 --> 00:06:23,449 - Plus, it tastes like ass. 174 00:06:23,484 --> 00:06:24,654 Anthony and Randy: You would know. 175 00:06:24,685 --> 00:06:26,515 - You guys are such dickheads. 176 00:06:26,554 --> 00:06:27,624 Peanut butter's not bad. 177 00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:28,785 - What is wrong with you? 178 00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:29,822 - I'm hungry! 179 00:06:32,693 --> 00:06:34,733 - Shitski, drop the puck. 180 00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:37,732 [dramatic orchestral music] 181 00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:44,765 * 182 00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:51,976 [all screaming] 183 00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:59,022 * 184 00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:02,594 [all screaming] 185 00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:04,934 - What the-- 186 00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:07,897 [loud thud and scream] 187 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,158 [scoffs] 188 00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:12,496 * 189 00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:13,803 [glass shatters] 190 00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,713 Who's paying for that? 191 00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:19,938 - Are the ones down there, like, the same as-- 192 00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:21,843 'Cause that one's kind of cute. 193 00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:24,645 - [retching] 194 00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:30,678 * 195 00:07:38,091 --> 00:07:39,961 - What is that? 196 00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:42,133 - Well, to prevent the scarring, I'm applying calamine lotion. 197 00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:44,062 Got to preserve this beautiful face. 198 00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:45,927 I would give some to you, but it's like the equivalent 199 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,636 of scraping flies off dog shit. 200 00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:49,868 - Hey, I'd like to order four large pies, please. 201 00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:53,113 One meatball, one sausage, one pepperoni-- 202 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:54,580 No, no, it's not a party. 203 00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:56,008 Just a bunch of us have chicken pox 204 00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:57,913 and we're all quarantined. 205 00:07:57,945 --> 00:07:58,945 Yeah, I can hold. 206 00:07:58,979 --> 00:07:59,979 - Dude, don't order pizza. 207 00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:01,623 I need to eat something bland. 208 00:08:01,649 --> 00:08:03,119 - You shouldn't eat anything. You're feverish. 209 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,550 - No, my fever broke when I puked, man. 210 00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:05,985 Come on, I'm hungry. 211 00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:07,519 - Will you just stop being so freaking selfish 212 00:08:07,555 --> 00:08:08,655 and eat pepperoni? 213 00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:10,589 - You kidding me? All right. 214 00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:12,034 They won't deliver. - Why the hell not? 215 00:08:12,059 --> 00:08:13,789 - They said they can't risk the delivery guy 216 00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,097 getting chicken pox and bringing it back to the restaurant. 217 00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:17,799 - This is bullshit. We don't have Ebola. 218 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,201 - Sebalos may have Ebola. 219 00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:20,932 - Yo, Paul, this is totally off topic, 220 00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:23,698 but why is Karen being so-- no offense--bitch-like? 221 00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:25,307 - Don't ever call my wife a bitch. 222 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,208 - Okay, I said "bitch-like." 223 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:28,780 - Don't ever call her that either. 224 00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:30,109 She's sick. 225 00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:31,853 - We're all sick. 226 00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:33,309 - Yeah, but for her, it's like she's sick 227 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,916 and there's also a home invasion going on. 228 00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:37,249 Because you guys are here. 229 00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:39,594 - Oh, yeah. - Oh, yeah, got it. 230 00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:40,820 - Plus, we were up half the night 231 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,324 because the guy upstairs decided to hop 232 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,885 on the treadmill at 1:00 a.m. 233 00:08:43,924 --> 00:08:45,094 - Why didn't you just tell him to stop? 234 00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:46,585 - I tried. 235 00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:48,197 - You tried? What does that mean? 236 00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:50,328 - Nothing, I just--nothing. 237 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,333 - [mockingly] Nothing, just nothing. 238 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,225 That doesn't sound like nothing. What happened? 239 00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:56,597 - Well, he called me a pussy 240 00:08:56,637 --> 00:08:57,837 and threatened to break me in half. 241 00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:58,941 all: What? - Yeah. 242 00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:00,172 - Are you serious? 243 00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:01,837 - I'm on the co-op board, Anthony. 244 00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,335 What, I'm supposed to fight him over this? 245 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,076 all: Yes! 246 00:09:05,112 --> 00:09:06,812 - That's a perfect reason to punch someone in the face. 247 00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:08,347 - Absolutely. 248 00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:09,821 - If you saw what you looked like right now, 249 00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:11,050 you'd punch yourself in the face. 250 00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:12,794 - Hey, babe. 251 00:09:12,820 --> 00:09:14,150 - Hey, how you feeling, honey? 252 00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:16,187 - Baking soda bath was nice. 253 00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:17,193 - Ooh, I could use one of those. 254 00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:18,634 - Request denied. 255 00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:19,729 I need you to get them out of here 256 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:20,990 so I can watch TV and rest. 257 00:09:21,028 --> 00:09:22,128 - I'll get them to calm down. 258 00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:23,662 You too. You want a massage? 259 00:09:23,697 --> 00:09:26,267 - Ugh, no. Hug is nice. 260 00:09:28,836 --> 00:09:30,796 - Really is nice. 261 00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:32,068 - I hate them so much. 262 00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:41,377 - Hey. 263 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:42,754 - Oh, hey, I was just-- 264 00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:44,653 - Looking through my checkbook, yeah. 265 00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:45,685 - Well, you left it out. 266 00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:47,789 - I left it out in my house. 267 00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:49,291 - Fine. 268 00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:52,362 Well, you have $13,000 in your checking account. 269 00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:54,192 - So what? - So what? 270 00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:56,027 I asked you to borrow $600 last week, 271 00:09:56,063 --> 00:09:57,673 and what'd you say? 272 00:09:57,698 --> 00:09:59,768 [mockingly] "I would, but I'm tapped out." 273 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:01,770 - Okay, well, maybe I didn't want to lend you the money. 274 00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:03,302 - You mean your wife didn't want to lend me the money. 275 00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:04,936 - Karen had nothing to do with this. 276 00:10:04,972 --> 00:10:06,272 I'm just not lending you money anymore. 277 00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:07,706 And you can't give me shit about it. 278 00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:09,111 I paid for you to get your van fixed. 279 00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:11,082 I paid for you to go to Rock-n-Roll Fantasy Camp. 280 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,781 No, not now. 281 00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:14,253 - This still has Karen's bitch-like fingerprints 282 00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:15,751 all over it. 283 00:10:15,783 --> 00:10:17,423 - I told you not to call her a bitch. 284 00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:20,820 - Listen to me, I'm saying-- - "Bitch-like" counts, Anthony. 285 00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:22,964 [doorbell rings] 286 00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:30,229 - Thanks, Karen. 287 00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:31,873 - Vito. 288 00:10:31,899 --> 00:10:34,329 So you just happen to have a biohazard outfit. 289 00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,067 - Yep, during the Ebola outbreak, 290 00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:38,313 a guy who owed me 8 grand got quarantined, 291 00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:41,808 so I got this suit to collect and to send a message. 292 00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:42,942 Nobody slides. 293 00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,406 There's no free lunch. 294 00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:46,014 Now, where's my money? 295 00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:50,452 - Uh, hey, real quick. 296 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,093 How much to break his legs? 297 00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:53,819 - I like your style. 298 00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:55,024 But if you would've hung on to this cash, 299 00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:56,415 it would've happened for free. 300 00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:58,286 - Damn it. I didn't think that one through. 301 00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:00,325 - Suck a dick, Anthony. 302 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,730 - Absolutely sucking a dick. 303 00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:03,963 - Have a nice day. 304 00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:09,938 - Ugh, what is this? 305 00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:11,810 - That's saliva chicken, bro. 306 00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:13,939 - Saliva chicken. That's the real name? 307 00:11:13,974 --> 00:11:15,184 - Yeah, and it's good. 308 00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:16,778 - I thought you wanted something bland. 309 00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:18,780 - Nah, I just didn't want pizza. [cell phone chimes] 310 00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:20,352 - Hey, I just got a text from Eddie about the game. 311 00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:21,350 We won. 312 00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:22,421 - No way! - What? 313 00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:23,819 - That's awesome. 314 00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:25,321 Keep the play-off hopes alive now. 315 00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:26,992 - Man, now I wish I went to the game. 316 00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:28,490 - No, then we would've lost. 317 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,491 - Yeah, see, Shitski? Streak lives on without you. 318 00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:33,793 - Up next, "The Bachelorette." - No, not this dumb bitch. 319 00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:35,297 - Karen, can you put the Ranger game on, please? 320 00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:36,298 Third period's starting. 321 00:11:36,329 --> 00:11:38,399 - It's my show. 322 00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:40,031 - Don't you say it. Don't you-- 323 00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:43,401 - No. No, no, no. 324 00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:44,936 - Don't do it. 325 00:11:44,972 --> 00:11:47,212 - I choose...Steven. 326 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:48,410 - No! 327 00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:50,511 Why did she choose that douche bag? 328 00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:53,413 - Carlos wins triathlons and owns his own business. 329 00:11:53,446 --> 00:11:54,406 - She is a dumb bitch. 330 00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:55,477 - This makes me sick. 331 00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:56,475 - I think I'm gonna be sick. 332 00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:58,046 - What? - What? 333 00:11:58,085 --> 00:11:59,845 - I think I'm gonna be-- - No, no, no, no. 334 00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:02,457 - Saliva chicken looks a lot like pizza now, huh, Sebalos? 335 00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:05,459 [clock ticking] 336 00:12:05,492 --> 00:12:08,502 [treadmill whirring, dull thumping] 337 00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:14,842 - [whispering] That's just great. 338 00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:15,838 - What's going on? 339 00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:16,999 - Go deal with that. 340 00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:21,042 Go deal with that. 341 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,444 - Okay. 342 00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:29,879 [treadmill whirring] 343 00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:31,217 [whirring stops] 344 00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:33,892 - Oh, it's you. 345 00:12:33,921 --> 00:12:35,421 - Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. 346 00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:37,055 Hi. 347 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,830 Listen, I know we got off on the wrong foot, 348 00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:41,359 but the sound from your treadmill is deafening. 349 00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:43,934 We're just trying to go to sleep, and-- 350 00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:45,104 What's that? 351 00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:46,502 - Leftover Wo Hop. - Wait a minute. 352 00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:48,003 Are you eating while you're walking 353 00:12:48,035 --> 00:12:49,295 on the treadmill? 354 00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:50,896 Are you messing with us, dude? 355 00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:52,438 - It's the diet, you ignoramus. 356 00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:54,212 I can only eat when I'm on a treadmill. 357 00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:56,011 - That's counterproductive. 358 00:12:56,043 --> 00:12:58,083 I mean, maybe you'd be better off 359 00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:00,111 substituting water for the Wo Hop, 360 00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:03,417 and then you wouldn't be so disproportionate. 361 00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:06,050 - Disproportionate? Oh, I love you skinny bastards. 362 00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:07,416 I happen to have a slow metabolism. 363 00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:09,094 - Come on, man. Everybody says that. 364 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,462 But it's bullshit. 365 00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:12,090 All the research states that obese people 366 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,025 have a slightly slower metabolism 367 00:13:14,061 --> 00:13:15,431 than regular human beings. 368 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:16,862 - Who are you, Jillian Michaels? 369 00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:19,067 - What? No, no, I hate her. 370 00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:21,329 - Me too. She's a bitch, and you remind me of her. 371 00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:22,468 Except for your zit-marked face. 372 00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:23,472 - This is chicken pox. 373 00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:24,473 - I've had that already, 374 00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:26,244 so it's not gonna stop me from kicking your ass. 375 00:13:26,273 --> 00:13:28,043 - We're neighbors, man. 376 00:13:28,075 --> 00:13:30,035 Come on, we should have some common courtesy, you know? 377 00:13:30,077 --> 00:13:32,507 Help each other out, have a good relationship. 378 00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:33,845 - Oh, I think it'd be good to punch you 379 00:13:33,881 --> 00:13:35,181 in your chicken pox face. 380 00:13:35,215 --> 00:13:37,045 - It doesn't have to be like this. 381 00:13:37,084 --> 00:13:39,224 - Well, it's gonna be like this till you get out of my face. 382 00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:41,992 - Okay. 383 00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:43,362 Can you at least tell me how long 384 00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:45,530 you're gonna be on the treadmill for? 385 00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:46,988 - It's gonna be a while. 386 00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:48,927 I got a Sarah Lee pie for dessert. 387 00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:55,542 [treadmill whirring, dull thumping] 388 00:13:58,638 --> 00:14:01,538 - Jesus Christ, how fat is this guy? 389 00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:03,484 I can hear him abusing that poor, innocent treadmill 390 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,450 two floors away. 391 00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:07,278 - He's disrespecting you, your wife, and your home. 392 00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:08,454 - You know, he's right, Paul. 393 00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:10,181 You got to deal with this asshole. 394 00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:11,987 - Guy deserves a smack, man. What's the problem? 395 00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:14,489 - Look, truth is, 396 00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:17,021 I've never been in a fight in my life. 397 00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:18,557 - What? - Like, never? 398 00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:19,561 - No. 399 00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:20,992 - Not even high school? 400 00:14:21,028 --> 00:14:21,998 - We went to high school together. 401 00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:23,229 When did I ever get in a fight? 402 00:14:23,263 --> 00:14:25,473 - Um, junior high. Grade school. 403 00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:27,898 - Never happened. No fights, ever. 404 00:14:27,935 --> 00:14:29,995 - That's unacceptable, dude. - And kind of weird. 405 00:14:30,037 --> 00:14:31,337 - What do you know about fights? 406 00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:32,441 - I'm Chinese, brought up in Queens. 407 00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:34,012 My whole life is a fight. 408 00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:35,181 - Seriously, man, every man needs to learn 409 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,678 how to defend himself. 410 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,179 - Yeah, how do we know you have our back on the ice 411 00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:39,311 if shit goes down? 412 00:14:42,149 --> 00:14:44,219 - Yo, Paulie, can we just throw that couch out? 413 00:14:44,251 --> 00:14:45,951 It smells like saliva chicken. 414 00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:47,586 - You know what? This is not half bad. 415 00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:49,320 I think it just needed a minute on the counter to congeal. 416 00:14:49,356 --> 00:14:50,556 - Yo, that was mine. I was saving that. 417 00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:53,390 - Oh, God. Your spit's in my mouth. 418 00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:55,026 Now I'm gonna get chicken pox. 419 00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:56,262 - You don't have chicken pox? 420 00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:57,256 - No. 421 00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:59,027 - Then what are you doing here? 422 00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:00,566 - I don't know. I didn't want to miss anything. 423 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,300 - Wow. - That's terrifying, bro. 424 00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:04,195 - It's not about him. It's about Rosenberg. 425 00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:05,507 Look, we're gonna teach you how to fight right now, okay? 426 00:15:05,538 --> 00:15:07,038 - This might be a bad idea, guys. 427 00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:08,414 - You know what's a bad idea? 428 00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:10,181 You being called a pussy your whole life, so-- 429 00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:12,080 - All right, all right. Okay. 430 00:15:12,112 --> 00:15:15,452 Paul, I'm trained in the martial arts. 431 00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:17,182 I can teach you some stuff that's very simple. 432 00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:20,147 Something so easy, even a chick could do it, okay? 433 00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:23,657 Feet shoulder-width apart, rock back-- 434 00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:26,290 [yelling] 435 00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:28,056 - Jesus! - Chill! 436 00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:29,395 - Dude, did you just have a seizure? 437 00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,299 - No, that's all about distracting 438 00:15:31,331 --> 00:15:33,001 from my secret weapon. 439 00:15:33,033 --> 00:15:34,133 all: Whoa! 440 00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:35,297 - Relax! 441 00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:37,165 - What are you doing, bro? - Jesus! 442 00:15:37,204 --> 00:15:38,714 - This is awesome, by the way. - It's cool, right? Yeah. 443 00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:40,208 - You push the button down, 444 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:41,540 and then it just-- then it goes like that. 445 00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:42,744 Wow, that's interesting. 446 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,635 - Yeah, keep it. I got tons of them. 447 00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:46,277 - Look, we don't need a lethal weapon here, though, okay? 448 00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:47,653 What we need is something easy. 449 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:49,020 I'm gonna show you the "What up, Bro?" 450 00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:50,519 - The "What up, Bro?" 451 00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:51,750 - You've definitely never got into a fight 452 00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,154 if you've never seen this. 453 00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:54,286 All right. Watch me. 454 00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:55,421 - Let's go. - Okay. Walk up. 455 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,985 What up, bro? How you doing? 456 00:15:58,025 --> 00:15:59,185 Bam! - Whoa! 457 00:15:59,226 --> 00:16:01,996 - Is what happens! On the floor! 458 00:16:02,029 --> 00:16:03,529 Remember when I did that at the parking lot at Tuesday's? 459 00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:05,033 Knocked out Dom Benaquista 460 00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:06,265 'cause he was talking to my girl. 461 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:07,469 Gave that big guido a concussion. 462 00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,370 [laughter] 463 00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:10,772 - What's funny? 464 00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:12,613 - Uh, you calling someone else a big guido. 465 00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:14,709 - That story's complete bullshit. I was there. 466 00:16:14,741 --> 00:16:16,781 You threw the headbutt but missed. 467 00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:18,649 He tried to knee you in the head. 468 00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:21,178 He also missed, then slipped and gave himself a concussion. 469 00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:22,424 - Okay, that's not what happened. 470 00:16:22,449 --> 00:16:24,279 - Yeah, it was. 471 00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:25,787 There were hundreds of people there who witnessed him slip. 472 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,488 And then they put you in the back of the cop car 473 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,190 for a minute and you started crying. 474 00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:30,692 - No. 475 00:16:30,723 --> 00:16:32,063 - Should I just put a post up on Facebook 476 00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:33,492 and see what everybody else remembers? 477 00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:35,726 - No. - Okay. 478 00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:37,132 - Well, dude, at least I'm not a pussy 479 00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:38,434 that can't fight, like you. 480 00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:40,125 - You know what? I've had about enough. 481 00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:41,627 Especially from you, Anthony. 482 00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:43,268 - You want to be pissed off at somebody? 483 00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:45,443 Go upstairs and be pissed off at that guy. 484 00:16:45,472 --> 00:16:48,382 [treadmill whirring] 485 00:16:48,408 --> 00:16:50,178 - Did that prick just turn it up a notch? 486 00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:51,210 all: Yep. 487 00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:56,054 - [breathing heavily] 488 00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:59,223 - My God, he is gonna get demolished. 489 00:17:03,490 --> 00:17:05,190 [pounding] 490 00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:13,130 [Western stand-off music] 491 00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:17,639 - Shuffle back. Shuffle back. Shuffle back. 492 00:17:17,670 --> 00:17:19,710 Shuffle back. Shuffle back. 493 00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:21,169 Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go! 494 00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:22,338 Back, back, back, back-- 495 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:23,505 - What's going on? 496 00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:24,513 - What? 497 00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:25,784 - Where's Paul? 498 00:17:25,812 --> 00:17:29,352 - Paul. Uh...oh, shit, Paul. 499 00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,652 - Look, I'm sure he's fine. Let's figure this out, guys. 500 00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:32,694 Let's go. - Come on, come on, come on. 501 00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:35,159 Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. 502 00:17:35,188 --> 00:17:36,488 Whoo! 503 00:17:36,523 --> 00:17:38,163 What are you doing? 504 00:17:38,191 --> 00:17:41,191 - [retching] 505 00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:46,827 I don't feel very well at all. 506 00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:50,066 [thudding and grunting] 507 00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:58,575 [cell phone ringing] 508 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:04,845 - Didn't you say you had to be home, like, 45 minutes ago? 509 00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:09,264 - Yeah, but it is so peaceful up here. 510 00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:10,619 What do you do for shoulders? 511 00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:12,287 - I got a kettlebell. - Yeah? 512 00:18:12,325 --> 00:18:13,425 - You ever do the kettlebell? 513 00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:14,590 - Never done a kettlebell. 514 00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,197 - I do it tabata. 515 00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:18,199 You, like, work out for 30 seconds, 516 00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:19,571 then you chill out for 10 seconds... 517 00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:20,829 - Really? 518 00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:21,827 - Then you work out for 30 seconds. 519 00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:23,238 - Oh, that's good. 520 00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:24,600 - You do that for, like, eight exercises. 521 00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:26,537 - Yeah? - Do it three, four times. 522 00:18:26,573 --> 00:18:28,383 - Hmm. - Just kicks your ass. 523 00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:29,778 - I got to switch it up. 524 00:18:29,809 --> 00:18:31,309 - Oh, you totally got to switch it up. 525 00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:32,754 I was swimming for a while. - Swimming? 526 00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,179 - Yeah. - Yeah? 527 00:18:34,214 --> 00:18:35,654 - Yeah, it's good, but-- 528 00:18:35,682 --> 00:18:38,192 - I just apologize to my wife. 529 00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:39,448 - That's how you work out? 530 00:18:39,486 --> 00:18:40,886 - Yeah, it's just like... 531 00:18:44,191 --> 00:18:45,631 - Even when I had chicken pox, 532 00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:47,358 Karen was still checking me out. 533 00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:48,904 - No, she w-- You're full of shit. 534 00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:51,658 - Bro, did I ever tell you about high school? 535 00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:54,698 Paul had just--just started dating Karen. 536 00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:55,944 They were dating for, like, 537 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,838 maybe a year and a half, two years. 538 00:18:57,870 --> 00:19:02,280 And sh--Karen, you know, we're seniors-- 539 00:19:02,309 --> 00:19:03,779 we're seniors in high school. 540 00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:05,950 And, you know, I was the only one driving at the time. 541 00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:07,578 It was raining. 542 00:19:07,614 --> 00:19:09,884 Paul was out sick with his alopecia bullshit. 543 00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:12,686 And Karen asked me for a ride home. 544 00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:15,419 So, you know, I gave her a ride home. 545 00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:18,685 Uh, one of--you know, a song came on, song that we liked, 546 00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:21,255 "(God Must Have Spent) A Little More Time On You," 'NSYNC, 547 00:19:21,294 --> 00:19:22,704 a song we both liked. 548 00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:24,259 I started humming it to her. 549 00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:25,927 You know, she went in to say good-bye, 550 00:19:25,965 --> 00:19:27,595 and I kissed her on the lips. 551 00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:32,244 And, you know, I think that she maybe felt bad about it. 552 00:19:32,272 --> 00:19:34,312 I didn't, you know, because, I mean-- 553 00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:35,741 [bleep], what do you--you know? 554 00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:37,635 I was like, "Karen, babe, like, I have all-- 555 00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:38,947 "I'll always have all my hair. 556 00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:40,778 "None of this hair will ever fall out. 557 00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:42,683 And I'm the guy for you." But, you know, she felt bad. 558 00:19:42,715 --> 00:19:44,545 And then next--and then-- and then--you know, whatever. 559 00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:46,954 Couple years later, she's pregnant with freaking Declan. 560 00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:48,456 And then, you know-- - What a name, right? 561 00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:49,918 - But nobody ever has to know about that. 562 00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:51,956 You two, I swear to God, if you ever tell Paul that-- 563 00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:53,691 If you ever tell Paul that-- 564 00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:54,686 Don't, all right? 565 00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:55,857 - Tell him what? - Okay. 566 00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:57,495 - Exactly, tell him what? - What?