1
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:36,578
[Catherine]
As soon as I got back to my room,
2
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:40,666
the stranger immediately disappeared
from my mind.
3
00:00:44,962 --> 00:00:48,381
I'd had such a special day with my son.
4
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:52,261
I mean, my husband hadn't been there,
but I hadn't missed him that much.
5
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:56,055
And that slight dread that I felt
of the long day ahead
6
00:00:56,056 --> 00:01:00,977
and having to keep Nicholas occupied
had just passed so easily,
7
00:01:00,978 --> 00:01:06,692
and I'd slipped into just--
just being with him.
8
00:01:07,526 --> 00:01:10,319
And I felt nourished and satisfied
9
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:13,031
from a day of simple pleasures
with my son.
10
00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:18,871
- I was happy.
- [spoon clinking]
11
00:01:20,956 --> 00:01:27,421
I do wonder if that was the last time
I've ever been truly happy.
12
00:01:29,381 --> 00:01:35,094
You know, if all the happiness after that
has just been a pretense. [sighs]
13
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,181
[dog barking]
14
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:41,767
You know, because your wife
wrote very accurately about, uh,
15
00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:44,312
my hotel room and what I was wearing,
16
00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:46,982
but she couldn't fathom
what I was feeling.
17
00:01:49,568 --> 00:01:50,610
I was happy.
18
00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:52,571
- Nancy al--
- Shut up, I'm talking.
19
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:54,948
I've heard enough from you.
20
00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:01,330
Yes, your wife
was right about a lot of things...
21
00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:07,669
including how your son died.
22
00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:16,093
[Nicholas, distorted] Mummy. Mummy. Mummy.
23
00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:18,638
[Catherine]
I didn't sleep at all that night.
24
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,307
[Nicholas] Can we get a dinghy?
25
00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:24,477
- [Catherine] My whole body was aching.
- [Nicholas] Dinghy! Dinghy! Dinghy!
26
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:28,147
[Catherine] Nicholas,
he was desperate to go to the beach.
27
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,900
[Nicholas] Dinghy! Dinghy! Dinghy!
28
00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:35,321
- [Catherine] I could barely move...
- [Nicholas] Dinghy! Dinghy! Dinghy!
29
00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:39,492
...but we did go, uh, to the beach.
30
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:41,577
[Nicholas] Dinghy!
31
00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:46,959
And on the way, I... [sighs] ...relented,
and I bought him a-- a dinghy.
32
00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:48,710
It was a--
33
00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:54,590
a lifesaver I thought at the time,
you know, keep him occupied on the sand
34
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:58,262
until I had enough energy
to go into the water with him
35
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,764
because I was exhausted.
36
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:04,059
The night before had, uh, drained me.
37
00:03:06,812 --> 00:03:08,689
I didn't mean to fall asleep,
38
00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:11,024
but I did.
39
00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:13,944
I shut down.
40
00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:20,659
I just closed my eyes
and I went to sleep. [sighs]
41
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:28,792
I only woke because the wind had picked up
and the sand was just piercing my skin.
42
00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:32,713
And I immediately knew
that something was wrong.
43
00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:03,576
And the sea was so rough.
And Nicholas was just-- [sighing]
44
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:06,580
He was smiling.
He was just lost in his own little world.
45
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,457
[distorted] Nicholas?
46
00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:12,502
- And the waves were...
- Nicholas!
47
00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:14,587
...were getting bigger
and the boat was bouncing.
48
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,838
And he was just being pulled
further and further out.
49
00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:22,178
And when the water reached my waist,
I just-- I-- I froze.
50
00:04:22,179 --> 00:04:25,181
You know, and I'd always, uh,
been scared of the sea, but--
51
00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:28,351
You know, and I was certain that
if I-I went out-- swam out to him,
52
00:04:28,352 --> 00:04:30,353
that-- that we'd both drown.
53
00:04:30,354 --> 00:04:31,437
[meows]
54
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:36,442
[sighs] It always seems to be men
who drown rescuing children.
55
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:40,113
It's not mothers, it's f-- it's fathers.
56
00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:43,032
I don't know, there must have been
some women who've done it,
57
00:04:43,033 --> 00:04:47,370
but I-- I don't, uh, remember
reading about it.
58
00:04:47,371 --> 00:04:50,957
I mean, surely I'm not alone
in lacking the courage
59
00:04:50,958 --> 00:04:53,210
to have gone out after my son.
60
00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:57,547
I keep asking myself, you know,
if it had been a burning building
61
00:04:57,548 --> 00:05:01,551
or if it had been someone pointing a gun,
I mean, would it have been any different?
62
00:05:01,552 --> 00:05:03,887
Would I--
Would I have found the courage then?
63
00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:07,473
I mean, would I have--
have run through fire?
64
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:10,519
Or-- Or taken a bullet for Nick?
65
00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:12,938
[sighs]
66
00:05:14,273 --> 00:05:18,902
I don't know. All I know is that the--
the sea thwarted me.
67
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:28,161
I didn't risk my life for my child
and that is something I have to live with.
68
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:33,041
[sniffles]
69
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,669
And then... [sighs]
70
00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:38,505
...I saw him.
71
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:44,177
And he was running down the beach
toward me
72
00:05:44,178 --> 00:05:47,848
and as soon as he reached the sea,
he just dove into the waves.
73
00:05:49,558 --> 00:05:51,684
[Catherine, distorted] No, no, no!
[speaks indistinctly]
74
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,519
And the words just came out of my mouth...
75
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:54,854
- No! No!
- ...before I could stop them.
76
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:57,064
- I didn't want it to be him. Not him.
- [speaks indistinctly]
77
00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:58,567
Anyone but him.
78
00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:04,030
And I just stood there, frozen.
79
00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:09,702
And I just watched him
as he swam one-armed,
80
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:12,706
pulling the boat through the waves
looking heroic.
81
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:15,625
[cat meows]
82
00:06:15,626 --> 00:06:17,794
But the sea was against him.
83
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:25,259
And, uh, then these, uh, two men,
84
00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:27,803
they rushed into the water,
and they swam out to them.
85
00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:30,389
And then, finally,
Nick was safe on the shore.
86
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:31,641
[beachgoers clamoring]
87
00:06:31,642 --> 00:06:36,980
And everyone was focused on Nicky
and the two men.
88
00:06:40,484 --> 00:06:42,569
No one was looking at your son.
89
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:47,991
He was a hero. They assumed he was okay.
90
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,832
Yeah, well, your wife was right.
91
00:06:59,378 --> 00:07:02,256
I did see your son
struggling in the waves...
92
00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:07,593
and I didn't do anything about it.
93
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:08,929
[cat meows]
94
00:07:10,264 --> 00:07:12,599
His screams were lost in the wind,
95
00:07:14,226 --> 00:07:17,979
and I didn't do a single thing
to help him.
96
00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:19,815
- [cat meows]
- [sniffles]
97
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,614
[beachgoers clamoring]
98
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:45,381
So they got him into the boat
and rowed him back to the shore,
99
00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:47,259
and everyone leaped into action.
100
00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:57,477
And all Nicholas said about the event
was that he was freezing.
101
00:07:58,437 --> 00:08:02,065
He seemed unaware
that he could have drowned.
102
00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:09,323
He never once sai-- said he was scared.
103
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:13,493
But I was.
104
00:08:15,913 --> 00:08:16,914
I still am.
105
00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:22,001
He just felt cold,
wanted to go back to the beach,
106
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,922
and a stranger came and rescued him.
107
00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:26,423
Simple as that.
108
00:08:28,467 --> 00:08:31,261
And he never mentioned the incident again.
109
00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:36,389
You know, the beach, the dinghy,
your son again. Ever.
110
00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:40,478
I don't care if Nicholas felt cold.
My son was dead.
111
00:08:40,479 --> 00:08:42,731
Yes. Yes, he was dead.
112
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:44,441
He drowned.
113
00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:48,528
You watched him. You did nothing.
114
00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:50,572
- You stood there--
- I am not finished!
115
00:08:51,949 --> 00:08:53,033
You sit down!
116
00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:59,540
Now, I want you to understand
what happened the night before.
117
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:07,381
[breathes shakily] Your wife
based this book on a few photographs,
118
00:09:07,965 --> 00:09:09,966
but photographs are not reality.
119
00:09:09,967 --> 00:09:12,718
You said yourself,
they are a fragment of reality.
120
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:15,722
[breathes shakily]
Now, the night before your son died,
121
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:20,726
I went back to my hotel room,
and I was ready for a shower.
122
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,562
To fall asleep reading my book.
123
00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:25,565
As I said before, I was happy.
124
00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:26,650
No.
125
00:09:28,151 --> 00:09:29,361
I was more than happy.
126
00:09:31,363 --> 00:09:32,447
I was joyous.
127
00:09:52,176 --> 00:09:55,595
I must have left the key in the door
when I opened it,
128
00:09:55,596 --> 00:09:57,848
trying not to spill my wine.
129
00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:07,232
You know, I smelled him before I saw him.
130
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,277
His-- His aftershave was, um...
131
00:10:12,821 --> 00:10:13,946
[distorted gasp]
132
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:17,325
- [whimpering]
- Be quiet. Be quiet.
133
00:10:17,326 --> 00:10:20,787
And I could... [sighs] ...taste his sweat.
134
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:25,292
I can still taste his sweat.
135
00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:29,630
I don't know what it tasted of.
Excitement, probably.
136
00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:39,306
And I was surprised when I heard him speak
137
00:10:40,224 --> 00:10:42,225
because earlier that day, when, uh...
138
00:10:42,226 --> 00:10:44,727
[stammers]
...I'd been aware of him looking at me,
139
00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:48,899
you know, when he smiled at me,
I had imagined it differently.
140
00:10:51,193 --> 00:10:52,945
I thought it would be gentle.
141
00:10:55,239 --> 00:10:56,573
But it wasn't gentle.
142
00:10:58,617 --> 00:10:59,826
It was hateful.
143
00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:02,912
- But the photographs--
- Yes.
144
00:11:02,913 --> 00:11:04,872
Yes, I am getting to the photographs.
145
00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:06,708
[breathes deeply]
146
00:11:22,808 --> 00:11:23,809
Lick it.
147
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:29,523
[distorted whimpering, grunting]
148
00:11:33,944 --> 00:11:37,363
- [whimpering]
- [grunts]
149
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,366
[groans, whimpers]
150
00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:43,787
[Catherine] I'd never been hit before,
so I was stunned.
151
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:48,040
My teeth crunched. My ears were ringing.
152
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:50,543
- I just... [sighs]
- [cries] Please.
153
00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:55,214
- ...couldn't believe what was happening.
- If you do that again or you scream,
154
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,593
- I will fucking cut you and your son.
- [crying]
155
00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:03,055
I will mark your fucking faces for life.
Do you understand?
156
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:06,143
[panting] So are you gonna do as I say?
157
00:12:06,977 --> 00:12:11,397
[speaking indistinctly]
158
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,816
...and take off your fucking dress.
159
00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:16,569
[Nicholas] Mummy. Mummy.
160
00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:18,863
Please, please, please.
161
00:12:18,864 --> 00:12:20,823
- Put him back to sleep.
- Please. Don't hurt him.
162
00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:23,159
- Put him back to fucking sleep.
- It's okay. Darling--
163
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:27,246
- Darling, go back to sleep. I'm here.
- [Nicholas] But you promised
164
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,998
- to keep the door open, Mummy.
- Please.
165
00:12:28,999 --> 00:12:32,586
- Shut him the fuck up. [exhales heavily]
- [speaks indistinctly]
166
00:12:33,504 --> 00:12:36,256
- Shut him the fuck up.
- [Nicholas speaks indistinctly]
167
00:13:11,083 --> 00:13:12,459
What's that smell?
168
00:13:15,212 --> 00:13:18,215
[Catherine speaking indistinctly]
169
00:13:23,637 --> 00:13:25,180
[no audible dialogue]
170
00:13:29,893 --> 00:13:32,312
[Catherine speaks indistinctly, sniffles]
171
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:34,481
There we go.
172
00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:38,527
[shushes] Go to sleep.
173
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,537
[speaks indistinctly]
174
00:13:53,417 --> 00:13:56,253
[Catherine breathing shakily]
175
00:14:05,429 --> 00:14:06,638
If Nick had woken...
176
00:14:09,725 --> 00:14:11,767
I don't know
what your son would have done.
177
00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:16,899
So I was relieved when I left the room,
and I could feel him following me.
178
00:14:18,150 --> 00:14:19,359
And then he, uh--
179
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:24,071
he picked up the camera and I thought,
180
00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:26,074
"Oh. Oh, he's trying to blackmail me."
181
00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:28,493
And...
182
00:14:30,787 --> 00:14:32,538
so, I thought, you know,
"I'll win him over."
183
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:34,208
I didn't want him to hurt Nick.
184
00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:39,713
Uh, but I didn't know what to do.
What was I supposed to do? Pose?
185
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,884
And I was appalled
because he chose the underwear
186
00:14:44,885 --> 00:14:48,430
that my husband had given me
for the, uh-- the holiday.
187
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:54,894
[distorted] Hurry up.
188
00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:56,980
[Catherine breathing shakily]
189
00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:05,280
[Jonathan] Faster.
190
00:15:12,663 --> 00:15:14,998
[breathing shakily]
191
00:15:30,097 --> 00:15:31,098
[distorted] Turn around.
192
00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:36,645
[no audible dialogue]
193
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:40,023
Wipe them off your face and smile.
Do you understand?
194
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:43,110
Now smile.
195
00:15:45,195 --> 00:15:48,489
- Yeah, much better. Sit down.
- [shutter clicks]
196
00:15:48,490 --> 00:15:51,158
- [sniffling]
- Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
197
00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:53,036
Come on. Come on.
198
00:15:55,998 --> 00:15:58,959
[speaks indistinctly] ...bra.
Hurry up. Take it off.
199
00:16:06,258 --> 00:16:07,467
I closed my eyes.
200
00:16:09,595 --> 00:16:12,806
I just felt like a dirty, shriveled thing.
201
00:16:14,725 --> 00:16:18,603
And I could hear the click of the camera
and the whine of the zoom
202
00:16:18,604 --> 00:16:21,565
as he came closer and closer.
[inhales shakily]
203
00:16:24,234 --> 00:16:25,235
And...
204
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:30,782
I did exactly as he asked.
205
00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:37,580
You know, I bit my top lip. I groaned.
I moaned. I gasped.
206
00:16:37,581 --> 00:16:40,501
You know, hoping that he'd be satisfied
and he'd leave.
207
00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:43,878
[distorted panting, speaking indistinctly]
208
00:16:43,879 --> 00:16:46,673
[Catherine]
And then I heard him sigh and groan...
209
00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:50,052
- [speaks indistinctly]
- ...and I waited. I was afraid to move.
210
00:16:52,429 --> 00:16:55,432
[moaning]
211
00:17:13,742 --> 00:17:17,996
[Catherine]
And I thought that's all he wanted.
212
00:17:22,209 --> 00:17:25,963
- So I said, "Please go now."
- Please go now.
213
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:29,716
But I'd-- I'd made a mistake.
214
00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:32,802
Shouldn't have said that.
215
00:17:32,803 --> 00:17:35,222
Should have pretended
it was what I wanted too.
216
00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:38,684
No! No, don't!
217
00:17:40,269 --> 00:17:46,148
- And I knew then that it wasn't over...
- [speaking indistinctly]
218
00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:47,901
...and I was terrified.
219
00:17:48,652 --> 00:17:51,237
- He had a knife.
- You better fucking smile.
220
00:17:51,238 --> 00:17:53,990
[Catherine] And through it all,
I just kept thinking
221
00:17:53,991 --> 00:17:55,658
how do I get him out?
222
00:17:55,659 --> 00:17:58,119
- How do I get him away from Nick?
- [shutter clicking]
223
00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:01,248
And I just thought--
I hoped somewhere he'd feel pity for us.
224
00:18:01,999 --> 00:18:04,001
[Catherine speaks indistinctly]
225
00:18:07,087 --> 00:18:09,672
[sobbing]
226
00:18:09,673 --> 00:18:12,759
[groaning, grunting]
227
00:18:24,730 --> 00:18:28,567
And then I heard this sound.
228
00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:33,696
Sounded like a-- an injured animal.
229
00:18:33,697 --> 00:18:34,990
And I realized...
230
00:18:37,451 --> 00:18:38,784
it was me.
231
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:43,248
And my whole body was just in pain.
Everywhere.
232
00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:46,293
And then he turned me over and he--
233
00:18:47,294 --> 00:18:50,547
he, uh, kissed me and I--
234
00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:55,344
I could taste his teeth and his-his spit
235
00:18:56,553 --> 00:18:59,055
and his aftershave was just--
It was just revolting.
236
00:18:59,056 --> 00:19:00,098
I could--
237
00:19:01,475 --> 00:19:02,768
It made me feel sick.
238
00:19:04,478 --> 00:19:08,649
It was the same aftershave
I smelt on you at the-- at the hospital.
239
00:19:14,780 --> 00:19:16,198
And then he...
240
00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:18,908
[clicks tongue]
241
00:19:18,909 --> 00:19:24,413
...pressed his knee, and he... [sniffles]
...he shoved it really hard into my thigh,
242
00:19:24,414 --> 00:19:29,253
and he pushed himself into me again.
[sniffles]
243
00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:31,838
And I--
244
00:19:31,839 --> 00:19:35,007
He collapsed on top of me, and I just--
245
00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:38,427
He just stayed there and I was trapped.
I couldn't move. [sniffles]
246
00:19:38,428 --> 00:19:41,390
And I thought, "Please, God,
let this be over." [sniffles]
247
00:19:43,559 --> 00:19:45,060
But he started in again.
248
00:19:46,979 --> 00:19:47,980
Yeah.
249
00:19:49,147 --> 00:19:51,108
Did I fight?
250
00:19:53,694 --> 00:19:54,694
No.
251
00:19:54,695 --> 00:19:57,364
Did I scream? No, I-I couldn't.
252
00:19:58,198 --> 00:20:01,410
But all you need to know is that...
[sniffles]
253
00:20:04,413 --> 00:20:08,584
...your son raped me again and then again,
254
00:20:09,459 --> 00:20:11,378
for three and a half hours.
255
00:20:15,090 --> 00:20:18,677
Your son brutalized me
for three and a half hours.
256
00:20:20,387 --> 00:20:23,848
And then, uh, he stopped. He'd had enough.
257
00:20:23,849 --> 00:20:26,977
[panting, distorted]
258
00:20:56,715 --> 00:20:57,799
Turn over.
259
00:21:01,803 --> 00:21:02,804
Smile.
260
00:21:04,598 --> 00:21:06,016
[shutter clicks]
261
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:10,020
[Catherine] And then he said to me,
262
00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:15,400
- "Thank you. That was nice."
- Thank you. That was nice.
263
00:21:35,587 --> 00:21:36,587
[groans]
264
00:21:36,588 --> 00:21:38,382
And when he said that,
265
00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:43,053
I wanted him to die. [sniffles]
266
00:21:45,097 --> 00:21:47,306
Yeah, that evening,
267
00:21:47,307 --> 00:21:49,601
I would have given anything
to watch him die.
268
00:21:51,186 --> 00:21:53,814
So, when he drowned...
269
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:57,526
I walked away.
270
00:21:59,778 --> 00:22:00,779
That's the truth.
271
00:22:01,989 --> 00:22:04,240
And I-I can't pretend
to be sorry for that.
272
00:22:04,241 --> 00:22:07,076
- I don't believe you. You're lying.
- [inhales deeply]
273
00:22:07,077 --> 00:22:11,080
- So what is it you don't believe?
- Any of it. You-- You-- [stammers]
274
00:22:11,081 --> 00:22:14,375
You would have told Nancy when you met her
if it was-- if it were true.
275
00:22:14,376 --> 00:22:17,420
- What? I would have told your dying wife...
- [sighing]
276
00:22:17,421 --> 00:22:20,674
...that I had been raped
by the son she'd lost?
277
00:22:21,717 --> 00:22:23,844
[stammers] What would have been the point?
278
00:22:25,053 --> 00:22:31,435
The only reason I am telling you
is because I want you to stop.
279
00:22:32,561 --> 00:22:35,730
I want you to leave me and my son alone.
280
00:22:35,731 --> 00:22:36,898
You have no proof!
281
00:22:36,899 --> 00:22:39,734
What? [stammers]
I can give you the forensic evidence.
282
00:22:39,735 --> 00:22:42,236
Is that what you want?
Is that what you need?
283
00:22:42,237 --> 00:22:44,198
All right. Well, after he left,
284
00:22:44,698 --> 00:22:49,535
I emptied out a pot of, um, face cream
and I pressed it against myself
285
00:22:49,536 --> 00:22:53,706
and I pushed his disgusting glob
out of my body,
286
00:22:53,707 --> 00:22:55,374
and I screwed on the lid,
287
00:22:55,375 --> 00:22:59,712
and then I took photographs of, uh,
my injuries, you know, my... [stammers]
288
00:22:59,713 --> 00:23:01,797
...the bruises on my thighs
and the bites on my neck,
289
00:23:01,798 --> 00:23:05,052
in case I needed them for evidence later
because...
290
00:23:07,137 --> 00:23:10,473
I didn't know what I wanted to do yet.
291
00:23:10,474 --> 00:23:12,558
I didn't have the strength
to go to the police,
292
00:23:12,559 --> 00:23:15,312
and I did--
I didn't want to put Nicky through that.
293
00:23:16,063 --> 00:23:17,313
So, I thought, you know,
294
00:23:17,314 --> 00:23:20,983
I'll pull myself together,
and I'll do it later, you know?
295
00:23:20,984 --> 00:23:22,528
Tomorrow. The next day.
296
00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:24,530
But then he died.
297
00:23:25,489 --> 00:23:27,406
Do you understand? He died.
298
00:23:27,407 --> 00:23:29,117
[inhales shakily] And I thought...
299
00:23:30,994 --> 00:23:33,413
"Thank God he's dead."
300
00:23:33,997 --> 00:23:39,502
I don't have to
prove myself innocent to anyone.
301
00:23:39,503 --> 00:23:42,421
I don't have to talk about it
if I don't want to.
302
00:23:42,422 --> 00:23:45,550
I don't have to relive it
if I don't want to.
303
00:23:45,551 --> 00:23:48,846
I don't have to stand up in court
and be called a liar.
304
00:23:49,429 --> 00:23:52,932
You know, to say that I'd, uh... [sniffles]
...enticed a man to my room.
305
00:23:52,933 --> 00:23:55,935
You know, that I'd known him,
and he bought me a-a drink in the bar
306
00:23:55,936 --> 00:23:59,355
and I'd flirted with him
as your disgusting book suggests.
307
00:23:59,356 --> 00:24:03,110
[sniffles] So I, uh, threw away the pot.
308
00:24:04,152 --> 00:24:07,947
And when I developed my photographs
of my holiday,
309
00:24:07,948 --> 00:24:11,951
I erased all of the... [sniffles]
...evidence of my injuries,
310
00:24:11,952 --> 00:24:14,620
and I just kept the happy snaps of, uh...
[sniffles]
311
00:24:14,621 --> 00:24:17,623
...Nicholas, and Robert and me. [sniffles]
312
00:24:17,624 --> 00:24:20,752
And then, if you must know...
313
00:24:21,378 --> 00:24:22,379
[sniffles]
314
00:24:24,715 --> 00:24:26,592
...when I got back to London, I disco--
315
00:24:27,467 --> 00:24:28,468
[breathes deeply]
316
00:24:31,346 --> 00:24:32,931
I realized I was pregnant.
317
00:24:35,100 --> 00:24:39,479
Now, it-it could have been Robert's,
and, uh...
318
00:24:41,064 --> 00:24:44,067
[sniffles]
...we'd wanted another child so badly...
319
00:24:48,322 --> 00:24:54,494
but not knowing... [sniffles]
...if its father was the man who raped me,
320
00:24:55,829 --> 00:24:57,080
I terminated. [sniffles]
321
00:24:58,916 --> 00:25:01,919
[breathing heavily]
322
00:25:12,387 --> 00:25:14,263
What did you put in my tea?
323
00:25:14,264 --> 00:25:17,266
[breathing heavily]
324
00:25:17,267 --> 00:25:20,020
What did you put in my tea,
you crazy fuck?
325
00:25:20,812 --> 00:25:22,814
[moaning, groaning]
326
00:25:29,863 --> 00:25:32,114
[shushes]
327
00:25:32,115 --> 00:25:33,408
Don't fight it.
328
00:25:34,493 --> 00:25:37,954
You're going to fall asleep,
but you'll be fine.
329
00:25:37,955 --> 00:25:40,665
I'm going back to the hospital now.
330
00:25:40,666 --> 00:25:41,750
[Catherine] No.
331
00:25:43,252 --> 00:25:44,545
I'm going to put an end to all this.
332
00:25:45,671 --> 00:25:50,551
[groaning, panting]
333
00:25:55,013 --> 00:25:57,181
Hello. Yes. Could you send a taxi, please?
334
00:25:57,182 --> 00:25:58,767
- To 87 Harrington Road.
- [groans]
335
00:26:33,927 --> 00:26:35,929
[groaning]
336
00:26:37,514 --> 00:26:40,517
[groaning, gagging]
337
00:26:44,438 --> 00:26:45,522
Oh, fuck.
338
00:26:47,191 --> 00:26:49,901
[panting, retches]
339
00:26:49,902 --> 00:26:55,198
Nicholas. Hi, I'm Dr. Keith.
Can you open your eyes for me, please?
340
00:26:55,199 --> 00:26:57,284
[rhythmic beeping]
341
00:26:58,952 --> 00:27:02,080
Well done, Nicholas.
Can you squeeze my hand, please?
342
00:27:02,789 --> 00:27:06,209
Can you squeeze, squeeze, squeeze?
Well done.
343
00:27:06,210 --> 00:27:07,752
Nicholas, you have a tube in your mouth.
344
00:27:07,753 --> 00:27:10,421
We're going to try and move that, okay?
Is that okay?
345
00:27:10,422 --> 00:27:13,508
Let me see. Give me a thumbs-up.
Thank you.
346
00:27:13,509 --> 00:27:15,510
Nurse. Can we please extubate?
347
00:27:15,511 --> 00:27:17,179
I've turned off the ventilator.
348
00:27:21,308 --> 00:27:23,976
Nicholas, I'm going to count
from one to three
349
00:27:23,977 --> 00:27:25,771
and then I want you to cough, okay?
350
00:27:27,481 --> 00:27:30,942
- One, two, three. Cough for me. Cough.
- [coughing]
351
00:27:30,943 --> 00:27:32,693
Well done, Nicholas. Well done.
352
00:27:32,694 --> 00:27:35,196
- Breathe for me, Nicholas. Breathe.
- Just relax.
353
00:27:35,197 --> 00:27:37,406
- [Dr. Keith] You're doing very well.
- [breathing deeply]
354
00:27:37,407 --> 00:27:39,785
[nurse] I'm gonna give you some oxygen
through your nose.
355
00:27:40,786 --> 00:27:42,246
[Dr. Keith] Are you okay, Nicholas?
356
00:27:47,084 --> 00:27:49,711
[groans] Where am I?
357
00:27:50,671 --> 00:27:51,880
What happened to me?
358
00:27:52,548 --> 00:27:54,674
- Nicholas, you're in hospital.
- [breathing deeply]
359
00:27:54,675 --> 00:27:56,217
You're in safe hands.
360
00:27:56,218 --> 00:27:58,595
We will explain to you
what happened later, okay?
361
00:28:00,180 --> 00:28:02,723
Well. Good morning, handsome.
362
00:28:02,724 --> 00:28:06,770
[groaning, panting]
363
00:29:09,791 --> 00:29:11,793
[gulping]
364
00:29:14,505 --> 00:29:16,507
[speaking Mauritian Creole]
365
00:29:30,604 --> 00:29:33,732
- [tires screeching]
- [exclaims, yelling in Mauritian Creole]
366
00:29:36,568 --> 00:29:39,905
You see that?
He cut into me as if I don't exist.
367
00:29:40,489 --> 00:29:42,657
People don't know how to drive.
368
00:29:42,658 --> 00:29:43,575
[phone chimes]
369
00:29:46,411 --> 00:29:47,412
[groans]
370
00:29:52,668 --> 00:29:53,669
[groans]
371
00:30:00,509 --> 00:30:02,719
[driver speaking Mauritian Creole]
372
00:30:14,857 --> 00:30:17,568
[Dr. Keith] Hello, sir.
Can you come with me, please? Thank you.
373
00:30:18,318 --> 00:30:20,820
Emma, can you get me
Dr. Junta's cardiology notes, please?
374
00:30:20,821 --> 00:30:21,737
- Thank you.
- Okay.
375
00:30:21,738 --> 00:30:22,947
Is he okay?
376
00:30:22,948 --> 00:30:26,118
He woke up. He's relatively aware.
So that's good news.
377
00:30:27,119 --> 00:30:29,120
Is he, um-- is he talking?
378
00:30:29,121 --> 00:30:31,205
Yes. He's a bit sedated.
379
00:30:31,206 --> 00:30:34,125
However, we are still treating him
for endocarditis,
380
00:30:34,126 --> 00:30:36,961
which can recur
if he continues to inject drugs.
381
00:30:36,962 --> 00:30:40,298
I understand. I understand,
but c-- could he make a full recovery?
382
00:30:40,299 --> 00:30:42,341
- Want a coffee, Doctor?
- He's awake and he's aware...
383
00:30:42,342 --> 00:30:43,342
Thank you very much, Emma.
384
00:30:43,343 --> 00:30:44,928
...which is positive news.
385
00:30:45,762 --> 00:30:49,557
Tomorrow, we'll do some new bloods on him,
but he needs to rest for the moment.
386
00:30:49,558 --> 00:30:52,810
- Can I-- Can I talk to him, please?
- [beeper rings]
387
00:30:52,811 --> 00:30:54,979
You may see him,
but please do not make him tired.
388
00:30:54,980 --> 00:30:56,480
- [beeper rings]
- I must go now. My beeper's going.
389
00:30:56,481 --> 00:30:59,025
- I understand. Thank you, Doctor.
- You're welcome. Thank you.
390
00:30:59,026 --> 00:31:00,943
Mmm. Thank you, Emma.
Can you let cardiology know
391
00:31:00,944 --> 00:31:03,989
- that I'm on my way, please? Thank you.
- [cell phone ringing]
392
00:31:11,747 --> 00:31:13,998
[automated voice] Please leave
your message after the tone.
393
00:31:13,999 --> 00:31:17,084
To rerecord your message,
key hash at any time.
394
00:31:17,085 --> 00:31:20,589
- [line beeps]
- Robert. This is serious.
395
00:31:21,298 --> 00:31:24,008
Stephen Brigstocke
is on the way to the hospital.
396
00:31:24,009 --> 00:31:26,594
Now you cannot let him near Nicholas.
397
00:31:26,595 --> 00:31:29,806
Okay? At any time. Please, Robert.
398
00:31:31,058 --> 00:31:32,975
This is very important.
399
00:31:32,976 --> 00:31:34,520
He's dangerous.
400
00:31:37,022 --> 00:31:39,274
- [car horns honking]
- [jackhammer drilling]
401
00:31:44,488 --> 00:31:46,865
[driver speaking Mauritian Creole]
402
00:31:53,205 --> 00:31:55,958
What? [stammers]
403
00:31:59,002 --> 00:32:02,255
[driver speaking Mauritian Creole]
404
00:32:02,256 --> 00:32:04,508
[Robert] I was so, so scared, Nick.
405
00:32:05,384 --> 00:32:07,553
I can't tell you how happy I am
that you're back.
406
00:32:08,679 --> 00:32:10,597
We're gonna get through this.
407
00:32:11,515 --> 00:32:12,516
Okay?
408
00:32:13,392 --> 00:32:14,601
Okay?
409
00:32:19,898 --> 00:32:21,233
That's fine, Nick.
410
00:32:22,317 --> 00:32:23,318
In your own time.
411
00:32:24,194 --> 00:32:25,696
You should get some rest.
412
00:32:26,321 --> 00:32:28,781
- I'm fine here.
- He needs rest.
413
00:32:28,782 --> 00:32:30,200
He's gonna be okay.
414
00:32:31,034 --> 00:32:32,369
Go get some air.
415
00:32:34,288 --> 00:32:35,706
I'll be back in a bit, mate.
416
00:32:36,665 --> 00:32:37,875
All right, mate.
417
00:32:44,590 --> 00:32:47,759
- [driver speaking Mauritian Creole]
- [jackhammer drilling]
418
00:32:53,515 --> 00:32:54,515
[driver chuckles]
419
00:32:54,516 --> 00:32:57,144
- [speaks Mauritian Creole]
- [car horns honking]
420
00:33:06,486 --> 00:33:07,654
[sighs]
421
00:33:10,991 --> 00:33:11,992
[sighs]
422
00:33:27,049 --> 00:33:28,883
- I'll be outside if you need me.
- [nurse 2] Okay.
423
00:33:28,884 --> 00:33:30,427
[message tone dings]
424
00:34:03,168 --> 00:34:05,087
I'm sorry, can't you go any faster?
425
00:34:05,712 --> 00:34:09,381
- [driver 2] There are cameras everywhere.
- Yes. It's a hospital emergency.
426
00:34:09,382 --> 00:34:11,968
Sorry, I can't get any more points
on my license.
427
00:34:11,969 --> 00:34:13,511
I've got a family to feed.
428
00:34:13,512 --> 00:34:16,223
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
429
00:34:27,734 --> 00:34:29,069
[electronic voice] Doors closing.
430
00:34:31,655 --> 00:34:32,488
[sighs]
431
00:34:32,489 --> 00:34:34,574
[car horns honking]
432
00:34:42,875 --> 00:34:45,167
- How long's this gonna take?
- You're almost there.
433
00:34:45,168 --> 00:34:47,254
- [sighs]
- [jackhammer drilling]
434
00:34:49,089 --> 00:34:51,174
[driver 2] Hey! Where are you going?
Shut the door.
435
00:34:51,175 --> 00:34:53,260
[car horns honking]
436
00:34:57,723 --> 00:34:59,766
- [elevator dings]
- [electronic voice] Doors opening.
437
00:35:22,164 --> 00:35:23,206
And you're back.
438
00:35:23,207 --> 00:35:26,250
Is Mr. Ravenscroft still here?
439
00:35:26,251 --> 00:35:28,085
[nurse 2] He just stepped out, actually.
440
00:35:28,086 --> 00:35:30,004
Ah, thank you.
441
00:35:30,005 --> 00:35:32,299
[nurse 2 stammers] Sorry.
Visiting is 8:00 to 8:00.
442
00:35:39,348 --> 00:35:43,059
Uh, Robert asked me
to sit with Nicholas for a bit.
443
00:35:43,060 --> 00:35:45,020
Only-Only for a minute.
444
00:35:46,855 --> 00:35:50,733
All right, just one minute. But please
check with the ICU nurses first, okay?
445
00:35:50,734 --> 00:35:52,986
Yes. Of course. Thank you.
446
00:36:07,584 --> 00:36:09,586
[panting]
447
00:37:09,354 --> 00:37:10,856
[nurse 1] You shouldn't be here.
448
00:37:12,191 --> 00:37:13,608
You should be resting, my dear.
449
00:37:13,609 --> 00:37:17,737
[stammers] I-I couldn't sleep.
I-I was too worried about Nicholas.
450
00:37:17,738 --> 00:37:21,324
[stammers] I don't think
I could bear it if-if...
451
00:37:21,325 --> 00:37:22,784
Nicholas has woken up.
452
00:37:24,494 --> 00:37:26,162
That's very good news.
453
00:37:26,163 --> 00:37:27,372
It is.
454
00:37:28,707 --> 00:37:30,583
Stay only for a moment, okay?
455
00:37:30,584 --> 00:37:31,751
He needs to rest.
456
00:37:31,752 --> 00:37:33,252
Of course.
457
00:37:33,253 --> 00:37:34,671
Yes. Thank you.
458
00:37:36,256 --> 00:37:37,716
You are a good woman.
459
00:37:44,097 --> 00:37:46,099
[panting]
460
00:38:12,209 --> 00:38:13,334
Mum?
461
00:38:13,335 --> 00:38:16,421
[breathing shakily]
462
00:38:26,306 --> 00:38:27,349
Mum.
463
00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:39,695
I wanna go.
464
00:38:45,617 --> 00:38:48,370
Mum. Please.
465
00:38:48,996 --> 00:38:50,997
[breathes heavily]
466
00:38:50,998 --> 00:38:52,541
I wanna go.
467
00:38:53,917 --> 00:38:56,920
[breathing shakily]
468
00:39:06,763 --> 00:39:08,932
[breathing shakily]
469
00:39:12,352 --> 00:39:15,439
[inhales shakily] I wanna go, please.
470
00:39:18,525 --> 00:39:20,777
[breathes shakily]
471
00:39:32,456 --> 00:39:33,665
[breathes shakily]
472
00:39:43,550 --> 00:39:45,761
[Brigstocke sobbing]
473
00:40:25,259 --> 00:40:26,468
[sighs]
474
00:40:36,270 --> 00:40:39,647
- [breathing heavily]
- [nurse 3] Uh, sir, are you okay?
475
00:40:39,648 --> 00:40:40,732
I'll take him.
476
00:40:43,861 --> 00:40:45,571
Mr. Brigstocke, are you okay?
477
00:40:47,114 --> 00:40:48,115
[sighs]
478
00:40:49,199 --> 00:40:51,285
- It's Robert.
- [stammers] I'm sorry.
479
00:40:52,119 --> 00:40:55,288
- [stammers] I'm so sorry.
- So-- S--
480
00:40:55,289 --> 00:40:56,957
Sorry about what?
481
00:40:59,126 --> 00:41:00,919
[sighs] I was wrong.
482
00:41:01,795 --> 00:41:06,215
- Wrong in what way?
- I was wrong about everything.
483
00:41:06,216 --> 00:41:07,885
[panting]
484
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:10,762
[grunts, panting]
485
00:41:13,140 --> 00:41:15,058
[panting]
486
00:41:20,105 --> 00:41:22,190
[panting]
487
00:41:22,191 --> 00:41:24,276
[nurse 2] Excuse me,
you can't run in here.
488
00:41:31,783 --> 00:41:32,992
[Catherine] No.
489
00:41:32,993 --> 00:41:35,996
[pants] What did you do to my son?
490
00:41:41,752 --> 00:41:42,753
I'm sorry.
491
00:41:43,670 --> 00:41:45,922
[whimpers, wails]
492
00:41:45,923 --> 00:41:47,798
Cath! Cath!
493
00:41:47,799 --> 00:41:50,176
Cath, I'm so sorry. Cath, I'm so sorry.
494
00:41:50,177 --> 00:41:53,346
- Oh, my son! My son!
- I'm so sorry. Cath, look at me.
495
00:41:53,347 --> 00:41:55,306
- My beautiful son.
- I should have listened to you, Cath.
496
00:41:55,307 --> 00:41:56,516
I'm so sorry.
497
00:41:56,517 --> 00:41:59,393
- Nicky! Nicky! Nicky!
- This is my fault. No, no. Nicky's fine.
498
00:41:59,394 --> 00:42:03,022
- [sobbing] Nicky!
- He's fine. I'm so sorry, Catherine.
499
00:42:03,023 --> 00:42:06,943
No, no. Nick-- Cath, listen.
Nick's fine. He woke up.
500
00:42:06,944 --> 00:42:08,945
He's safe. He's safe.
501
00:42:08,946 --> 00:42:10,739
He's safe, don't worry.
502
00:42:11,490 --> 00:42:13,617
What? He's-- He's awake?
503
00:42:14,159 --> 00:42:15,994
[sobs] He's awake.
504
00:42:16,787 --> 00:42:17,788
[groans]
505
00:42:19,164 --> 00:42:20,790
- Nicky.
- [nurse 1] Excuse me.
506
00:42:20,791 --> 00:42:23,126
- [sobbing]
- [nurse 1 speaks indistinctly]
507
00:42:35,013 --> 00:42:37,974
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
508
00:42:37,975 --> 00:42:41,103
It's okay. Please, it's okay.
509
00:43:00,372 --> 00:43:02,707
Wait, why didn't you tell me before?
510
00:43:02,708 --> 00:43:05,669
Why didn't you say anything--
anything before?
511
00:43:06,753 --> 00:43:10,256
I had never met your wife before.
512
00:43:10,257 --> 00:43:13,801
I didn't know the truth until today.
513
00:43:13,802 --> 00:43:16,471
But surely you knew what your son was.
514
00:43:17,931 --> 00:43:22,102
No one wants to believe their son
is capable of doing such a thing.
515
00:43:22,895 --> 00:43:25,521
But you sent that book to my family.
516
00:43:25,522 --> 00:43:29,233
You gave me those photographs,
and I felt sorry for you.
517
00:43:29,234 --> 00:43:33,238
- I felt grateful to your fucking son.
- [electronic voice] Doors opening.
518
00:43:34,281 --> 00:43:35,699
How could you not know?
519
00:43:37,159 --> 00:43:39,328
Why didn't you question it?
520
00:43:55,344 --> 00:44:00,181
No, Mr. Ravenscroft, why didn't you?
521
00:44:00,182 --> 00:44:02,017
- [beeps]
- [electronic voice] Doors closing.
522
00:45:21,763 --> 00:45:24,557
[narrator] You always knew
that Nancy dressed Jonathan up
523
00:45:24,558 --> 00:45:26,226
into someone he was not,
524
00:45:27,436 --> 00:45:28,937
and you colluded with her,
525
00:45:30,022 --> 00:45:34,318
ignoring all the clues that should have
made you uneasy about him.
526
00:45:37,196 --> 00:45:40,490
You have been as guilty of delusion
as she was.
527
00:45:42,826 --> 00:45:46,121
Your only defense
is that you did it out of love,
528
00:45:47,331 --> 00:45:49,499
but that is not much of a defense.
529
00:45:51,585 --> 00:45:52,836
You were weak.
530
00:46:43,095 --> 00:46:46,890
You have left nothing
but a trail of pain behind you.
531
00:46:51,895 --> 00:46:54,147
You know you'll never find forgiveness.
532
00:46:55,524 --> 00:46:58,527
Nothing can atone for a wasted life.
533
00:47:00,737 --> 00:47:02,489
Nothing can purify you.
534
00:47:04,032 --> 00:47:05,868
Nothing can absolve you.
535
00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:10,080
Ahead of you, there's nothing.
536
00:47:11,248 --> 00:47:12,833
Only the void awaits.
537
00:47:31,852 --> 00:47:33,061
I'm so sorry.
538
00:47:36,106 --> 00:47:39,651
I can't even begin to imagine the horror
that you went through back then.
539
00:47:40,944 --> 00:47:41,904
And now.
540
00:47:42,863 --> 00:47:45,699
I was so s-- so stupid.
541
00:47:46,575 --> 00:47:48,952
I'll never-- I'll never
forgive myself, Cath.
542
00:47:52,456 --> 00:47:53,957
I didn't know.
543
00:47:55,083 --> 00:47:56,084
Mmm.
544
00:47:56,668 --> 00:47:57,669
Why didn't--
545
00:47:58,921 --> 00:48:00,547
Why did you never tell me?
546
00:48:04,051 --> 00:48:05,344
[stammers] I--
547
00:48:08,430 --> 00:48:09,640
I suppose...
548
00:48:12,142 --> 00:48:14,561
I didn't want it to enter our lives.
549
00:48:16,271 --> 00:48:21,817
No, I wanted to protect you and Nick...
[chuckles] ...from it, you know.
550
00:48:21,818 --> 00:48:25,738
And from how angry,
you know, I-I-I felt and I...
551
00:48:25,739 --> 00:48:28,909
[inhales sharply] I suppose I...
552
00:48:29,910 --> 00:48:33,412
I didn't want you to see me differently,
you know?
553
00:48:33,413 --> 00:48:37,500
I didn't want you to have to
think about it, you know,
554
00:48:37,501 --> 00:48:39,210
every time that you looked at me.
555
00:48:39,211 --> 00:48:41,671
'Cause I didn't just--
I didn't want to look at myself, you know?
556
00:48:41,672 --> 00:48:45,634
I was just so... [inhales sharply, groans]
just so humiliated.
557
00:48:46,885 --> 00:48:49,887
When-- When the book, um...
558
00:48:49,888 --> 00:48:51,097
Mmm?
559
00:48:51,098 --> 00:48:53,642
...and those photographs came into our life,
560
00:48:55,227 --> 00:48:57,980
why didn't you-- Why wouldn't you
just tell me then, Cath?
561
00:49:03,235 --> 00:49:05,153
I did try, Robert.
562
00:49:07,906 --> 00:49:11,075
You know? But I--
I suppose that when you--
563
00:49:11,076 --> 00:49:14,829
you've never spoken about
something like that, well, I--
564
00:49:14,830 --> 00:49:16,372
[groans] I didn't know where to start.
565
00:49:16,373 --> 00:49:20,586
I needed help to, you know,
to pick the pieces apart.
566
00:49:21,170 --> 00:49:25,174
[stammers, sighs] Make sense of it.
I couldn't do it on my own.
567
00:49:25,966 --> 00:49:30,803
And you were just...
just so angry and betrayed
568
00:49:30,804 --> 00:49:32,597
and, you know, disgusted.
569
00:49:32,598 --> 00:49:35,559
You know, all those things
I feared you would be, and...
570
00:49:37,895 --> 00:49:41,189
You didn't hear me out.
You-- You know, I couldn't think.
571
00:49:41,190 --> 00:49:42,482
I just--
572
00:49:43,734 --> 00:49:48,113
Talking to you just made me
feel guilty all over again.
573
00:49:49,114 --> 00:49:50,032
So...
574
00:49:50,657 --> 00:49:52,909
- I'm so sorry.
- Yeah.
575
00:49:52,910 --> 00:49:55,912
Please understand that I was--
I was deceived, Cath.
576
00:49:55,913 --> 00:49:57,872
No, I-I do understand that.
577
00:49:57,873 --> 00:50:01,710
I understand that the photos
were-- were confusing.
578
00:50:03,670 --> 00:50:04,963
[softly] Please.
579
00:50:07,341 --> 00:50:08,926
Cath, please forgive me.
580
00:50:12,429 --> 00:50:14,097
I know I should forgive you.
581
00:50:15,849 --> 00:50:17,518
But the truth is I can't.
582
00:50:19,811 --> 00:50:25,733
'Cause you-- You're managing the idea
of me having been violated by someone
583
00:50:25,734 --> 00:50:30,405
far more easily than-- than the idea
of that someone bringing me pleasure.
584
00:50:32,241 --> 00:50:35,826
You know, it's almost like you--
you're relieved that I was raped.
585
00:50:35,827 --> 00:50:36,828
[sighs]
586
00:50:37,621 --> 00:50:41,208
And I just... Sorry, I...
587
00:50:43,794 --> 00:50:45,462
I don't know how to forgive that.
588
00:50:56,014 --> 00:50:57,432
[sighs]
589
00:51:14,324 --> 00:51:17,953
[narrator] Catherine and Robert
finalized the agreement of their divorce.
590
00:51:26,545 --> 00:51:29,631
Catherine knows
that her future is uncertain,
591
00:51:30,883 --> 00:51:32,509
but she doesn't mind it.
592
00:51:34,678 --> 00:51:37,598
She's not in a hurry
to decide anything now.
593
00:51:39,641 --> 00:51:43,437
It's Nicholas and the present
she wants to concentrate on.
594
00:51:44,313 --> 00:51:46,607
[Catherine speaking indistinctly]
595
00:51:50,277 --> 00:51:55,615
Catherine is overcome with gratitude
for the chance her son is giving her
596
00:51:55,616 --> 00:51:57,951
to fully embrace his love.
597
00:51:58,452 --> 00:51:59,745
I don't remember.
598
00:52:02,331 --> 00:52:03,457
I know.
599
00:52:07,127 --> 00:52:08,920
I'm so sorry, Nick.
600
00:52:08,921 --> 00:52:12,591
- I don't remember anything.
- [sighs] I'm so sorry.
601
00:52:15,093 --> 00:52:18,179
- [clicks tongue]
- [sniffles] I'm sorry.
602
00:52:18,180 --> 00:52:19,472
Oh, no.
603
00:52:19,473 --> 00:52:20,807
I'm sorry.
604
00:52:22,351 --> 00:52:24,436
[sighs]
605
00:52:25,229 --> 00:52:26,939
- [sniffles]
- I love you.
606
00:52:28,607 --> 00:52:29,733
Yep.
607
00:52:30,776 --> 00:52:32,486
I know. I love you too.
608
00:52:42,621 --> 00:52:45,541
[breathing deeply]