1
00:01:33,970 --> 00:01:35,160
Hey, sexy.
2
00:01:35,410 --> 00:01:36,810
I love that dress.
3
00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:39,970
Of course you do, Lorenzo.
You made it.
4
00:01:40,310 --> 00:01:42,710
- Hi, sweetie.
- Hey, guys.
5
00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:46,490
- There you are.
- Lena.
6
00:01:47,090 --> 00:01:49,420
- You've done it again.
- Well, it's all for you, Bradlee.
7
00:01:49,620 --> 00:01:50,950
Gotta mingle.
8
00:01:51,190 --> 00:01:52,880
Oh, the girls are by the pool.
9
00:01:53,090 --> 00:01:57,790
Well, well, well, Lena. So where's
this sexy boy toy of yours hiding?
10
00:01:58,000 --> 00:01:59,800
I didn't know you were
a football fan, Patrick.
11
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:03,660
I've never watched a game. I'm just
a big fan of his old underwear ads.
12
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:07,730
Well, he's probably just getting out of
the shower. Let me go hurry his ass up.
13
00:02:07,940 --> 00:02:09,130
- Hi.
- Hey, babe.
14
00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:15,620
Start of the fourth quarter, and Owens
will throw. He's got Brown wide open!
15
00:02:15,810 --> 00:02:18,010
You have got to be kidding me.
16
00:02:18,220 --> 00:02:21,250
Honey, just let me finish the game,
I'll take you to the movies.
17
00:02:21,620 --> 00:02:23,310
Take me to the movies?
18
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,860
Hello! There's a huge party
going on downstairs.
19
00:02:27,060 --> 00:02:29,290
Remember the catering trucks
and the valet parkers?
20
00:02:29,490 --> 00:02:31,460
Oh, shit, I forgot.
21
00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:34,570
I'll tell you what
you should forget about.
22
00:02:36,230 --> 00:02:37,260
Football.
23
00:02:37,470 --> 00:02:39,760
Because it's forgotten all about you.
24
00:02:40,710 --> 00:02:43,580
Now, you're going to put this outfit on
that I bought you,
25
00:02:43,780 --> 00:02:46,550
drag your drunken ass downstairs
26
00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:50,920
and mingle with my clients
like a good boy.
27
00:02:51,450 --> 00:02:53,970
Who am I? Elton John?
I ain't wearing that shit.
28
00:02:54,190 --> 00:02:57,390
- Yes, you are.
- I'm not your trained monkey, honey.
29
00:02:57,590 --> 00:03:00,710
No. You're much more
expensive than that.
30
00:03:01,230 --> 00:03:02,530
But I tell you what.
31
00:03:02,730 --> 00:03:05,460
If you're not downstairs
in five minutes,
32
00:03:05,660 --> 00:03:07,650
I'm gonna throw you out of my bed,
33
00:03:07,900 --> 00:03:10,960
out of my house and out of my life.
34
00:03:11,170 --> 00:03:13,960
Then you're gonna have to
pay for your own bananas.
35
00:03:14,870 --> 00:03:18,430
I'm just so mad at you
because you're not wearing my gift.
36
00:03:20,050 --> 00:03:21,310
Gift?
37
00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:22,840
What gift?
38
00:03:23,050 --> 00:03:26,910
It's like a I-love-you gift.
I left it in the closet for you.
39
00:03:27,650 --> 00:03:28,840
Really?
40
00:03:29,150 --> 00:03:30,910
Paul, I'm so excited.
41
00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:32,750
I can't believe you did this.
42
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:35,790
- Where'd you put it?
- In the back, on the right.
43
00:03:36,900 --> 00:03:38,600
Paul? Paul, what are you doing?
44
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:40,930
I think we need some
alone time, honey,
45
00:03:41,130 --> 00:03:43,960
so I'm gonna go take a cruise
in your Bentley.
46
00:03:44,170 --> 00:03:47,430
Don't you dare take my car,
you drunken bastard!
47
00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:50,630
- I own you!
- I love you.
48
00:04:12,130 --> 00:04:14,820
Somebody please open
this damn door! Patrick?
49
00:04:15,030 --> 00:04:17,360
- Lena?
- Patrick.
50
00:04:18,340 --> 00:04:19,670
What happened to you?
51
00:04:19,870 --> 00:04:22,770
He locked me in the closet
and left me to die.
52
00:04:22,970 --> 00:04:25,270
Oh, my God, he is deranged!
53
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,820
He thinks he can mess with me.
54
00:04:28,010 --> 00:04:28,980
911.
55
00:04:32,820 --> 00:04:36,770
Oh, man.
Here come the party poopers.
56
00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:48,930
Well, well, well. I'll be damned.
If it isn't Paul Crewe.
57
00:04:49,130 --> 00:04:51,830
So, what did I do wrong?
Was I driving poorly?
58
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:54,500
Nope. Nope.
This car was reported stolen.
59
00:04:54,710 --> 00:04:58,150
No, no, no.
It's actually my girlfriend's car.
60
00:04:58,810 --> 00:04:59,830
Shit happens.
61
00:05:00,250 --> 00:05:03,310
Shit does happen. I mean,
look what happened to your ears.
62
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:08,510
I gotta ask you something.
Does he get XM Radio with those?
63
00:05:09,220 --> 00:05:11,910
Actually, they get
a couple of channels.
64
00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:15,520
It's Paul Crewe.
65
00:05:15,730 --> 00:05:17,030
Another question, though.
66
00:05:17,230 --> 00:05:19,160
Santa Claus. What's he like?
67
00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:23,360
Boy, I hate to arrest a public figure
like yourself,
68
00:05:23,570 --> 00:05:25,530
but, hell, I don't think
you got too many
69
00:05:25,740 --> 00:05:28,110
endorsement deals to worry about,
now, do you?
70
00:05:28,310 --> 00:05:31,040
Now, listen here, Mr. Frodo.
Don't get short with me.
71
00:05:34,050 --> 00:05:36,280
That was good. I mean, he's good.
72
00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:40,110
Man. I hope you got a lot of money
for that game you threw,
73
00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:42,580
because that was the most pathetic
thing I ever saw.
74
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:44,930
Now, step out of the vehicle,
Mr. Crewe.
75
00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:48,820
Don't you think I should pull the car
over more? I could get sideswiped.
76
00:05:49,030 --> 00:05:52,000
You're slurring your words a bit there,
Paul. You been drinking tonight?
77
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:56,610
Absolutely not. Now, could you do me a
favor? Hold this beer while I back it up.
78
00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:06,340
Hey, you can finish that one.
I got five more. Take care, guys.
79
00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:10,170
We got a 3-94 in progress.
80
00:06:29,030 --> 00:06:30,790
Okay, remain calm.
81
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:35,060
How you doing? What's up?
What's up? What's up?
82
00:06:38,710 --> 00:06:42,440
What you are watching is live footage
of a vehicle, apparently stolen,
83
00:06:42,650 --> 00:06:44,140
being pursued by police.
84
00:06:44,350 --> 00:06:47,250
We're receiving word now
that the driver of that vehicle
85
00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:50,350
is former Pittsburgh football star
Paul Crewe.
86
00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:52,120
Crewe, you might remember,
87
00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:55,850
was the only man ever to be indicted
on federal racketeering charges
88
00:06:56,060 --> 00:06:58,490
for shaving points
in a professional football game,
89
00:06:58,700 --> 00:07:00,330
although it was never fully proven.
90
00:07:03,130 --> 00:07:04,890
Yeah!
91
00:07:10,710 --> 00:07:12,940
- Hello.
- Do not get one more scratch
92
00:07:13,140 --> 00:07:15,670
on my car, or I will slit your throat.
93
00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:19,950
See, that's our problem, sweetie.
94
00:07:20,150 --> 00:07:22,740
You care about this car
more than you do us.
95
00:07:22,950 --> 00:07:25,650
And how'd you even know
there was a scratch on this baby?
96
00:07:25,860 --> 00:07:29,860
Because I am watching you on TV,
as is the whole country.
97
00:07:30,060 --> 00:07:31,820
Once again,
you are proving to everyone
98
00:07:32,030 --> 00:07:34,520
what a worthless piece of shit
you are.
99
00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:38,870
Well, I hope they like this.
100
00:07:59,790 --> 00:08:01,280
Hey, Lena!
101
00:08:01,490 --> 00:08:05,050
I think we should start
seeing other people!
102
00:08:07,830 --> 00:08:09,850
I think I'm in love.
103
00:08:12,070 --> 00:08:14,930
Good news, boys,
I didn't spill my beer.
104
00:08:15,770 --> 00:08:19,210
Without question, Crewe's five-year
federal probation for point-shaving
105
00:08:19,410 --> 00:08:21,380
has been severely violated tonight.
106
00:08:21,580 --> 00:08:25,030
The future of this once-great football
star looks very dark indeed.
107
00:08:47,940 --> 00:08:51,430
Long way from the big city,
huh, superstar?
108
00:08:53,780 --> 00:08:56,400
Staying with the times
around here, huh?
109
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:04,420
Ain't she beautiful?
110
00:09:22,870 --> 00:09:24,700
Home sweet home, boy.
111
00:09:24,910 --> 00:09:26,200
Get on your feet.
112
00:09:30,350 --> 00:09:32,440
You're one lucky son of a bitch,
Crewe.
113
00:09:32,650 --> 00:09:34,670
- Is that right?
- That's right.
114
00:09:34,890 --> 00:09:37,190
See, the warden loves his football.
115
00:09:37,390 --> 00:09:40,450
Fact, he was on the winning side
of your little thing.
116
00:09:40,660 --> 00:09:43,620
- Well, tell him congratulations.
- But I wasn't.
117
00:09:46,300 --> 00:09:47,600
Welcome to Allenville.
118
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,790
Thank you, sergeant.
I'll take it from here.
119
00:09:53,770 --> 00:09:56,170
- Afternoon, inmate Crewe.
- Yeah.
120
00:09:56,370 --> 00:09:58,400
Come on. Warden wants to see you.
121
00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:00,060
Let's do it.
122
00:10:00,550 --> 00:10:01,580
Move it.
123
00:10:24,870 --> 00:10:26,730
I used to play
a little college ball myself.
124
00:10:26,940 --> 00:10:28,900
Down at the University of Miami.
125
00:10:29,110 --> 00:10:31,510
I bet a lot of your old teammates
are locked up in here.
126
00:10:31,710 --> 00:10:35,140
No inmates from my playing days.
Couple of guards, though.
127
00:10:35,350 --> 00:10:38,150
See, we got us a fine
prison-guard league down here.
128
00:10:39,380 --> 00:10:42,080
It's like a company softball team.
129
00:10:42,890 --> 00:10:44,520
Now, the warden...
130
00:10:45,690 --> 00:10:47,480
...he's gonna ask you to help out.
131
00:10:47,690 --> 00:10:49,280
Okay. With what?
132
00:10:55,770 --> 00:10:57,300
That wasn't nice.
133
00:11:00,070 --> 00:11:02,040
When the warden asks you,
134
00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:03,500
what are you gonna say?
135
00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:06,310
Yes?
136
00:11:15,020 --> 00:11:17,850
You're gonna tell him "no. "
You got it?
137
00:11:18,190 --> 00:11:19,710
You're gonna tell the warden
138
00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:23,220
that you want nothing to do
with his football fantasies.
139
00:11:24,260 --> 00:11:26,230
Not in my back yard.
140
00:11:27,670 --> 00:11:31,670
Because the warden
don't run this prison. I do.
141
00:11:31,870 --> 00:11:32,990
You understand?
142
00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:34,900
Not entirely.
143
00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:43,550
Okay. I feel you, dog. I feel you.
144
00:11:45,780 --> 00:11:48,410
Paul "Wrecking" Crewe.
145
00:11:48,620 --> 00:11:50,590
I don't get to say this
to my new guests very often,
146
00:11:50,790 --> 00:11:53,280
but it's an honor to have you
here at this institution.
147
00:11:53,490 --> 00:11:55,790
It's an honor to be
locked up here, sir.
148
00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:59,730
Oh, well, this is Errol Dandridge.
149
00:12:01,330 --> 00:12:03,520
Colonel Sanders
been eating his own chicken.
150
00:12:04,470 --> 00:12:06,370
He's my political adviser.
151
00:12:06,570 --> 00:12:09,470
See, I've been approached
by several very influential people
152
00:12:09,670 --> 00:12:12,970
wondering if I'd be interested
in standing for governor.
153
00:12:13,180 --> 00:12:17,710
They see the way I run this prison,
think maybe I should run this state.
154
00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:20,550
Only with less sodomy, right?
155
00:12:25,820 --> 00:12:27,450
Hopefully none.
156
00:12:28,260 --> 00:12:29,220
Sorry.
157
00:12:31,300 --> 00:12:34,900
Now, there are two things we take very
seriously here in the state of Texas.
158
00:12:35,370 --> 00:12:38,210
Prison and football.
159
00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:40,310
We play a little of the latter here.
160
00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:44,850
The warden is too modest to admit
that his team is rather good.
161
00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:46,630
But not good enough.
162
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:50,220
Five years since
our last championship.
163
00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:51,940
Five years.
164
00:12:52,150 --> 00:12:55,210
Now, I've worked real hard,
pulled strings,
165
00:12:55,420 --> 00:12:57,780
called in quite a few favors
to get you here, Paul.
166
00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:00,880
Now, why would you go and do that?
167
00:13:01,090 --> 00:13:04,530
Because I am convinced that
you can get us back on track.
168
00:13:07,100 --> 00:13:11,260
I haven't played football in I don't
know how long. I don't really want to.
169
00:13:11,470 --> 00:13:14,830
You wouldn't be playing, Paul.
Just consulting.
170
00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:17,630
Anyone who was once the MVP
of the National Football League
171
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:20,430
must have a great deal
of expertise to offer.
172
00:13:20,950 --> 00:13:24,410
Captain, what would you say
to Mr. Crewe looking in,
173
00:13:24,620 --> 00:13:27,090
giving us the benefit
of his experience?
174
00:13:27,290 --> 00:13:31,560
I think that's a real good idea, warden.
We can use all the help we can get.
175
00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:34,590
Well, then, it's all settled.
176
00:13:35,060 --> 00:13:36,150
What you say, Paul?
177
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:40,460
I appreciate the offer,
but I'm gonna have to pass.
178
00:13:44,900 --> 00:13:47,390
Now, I can assure you
179
00:13:47,610 --> 00:13:51,710
that your time here will be a whole
lot easier if you just participate.
180
00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:57,300
I just wanna do my time
and go home. Nothing else.
181
00:14:00,750 --> 00:14:03,050
If you'll excuse us, Mr. Crewe.
182
00:14:03,550 --> 00:14:05,710
Captain Knauer, you can stay.
183
00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:11,590
Sit down!
184
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:18,150
I used to love
your underwear commercials.
185
00:14:19,140 --> 00:14:20,440
Thank you very much.
186
00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:24,830
My ex-husband wore the
same brand of tighty whities.
187
00:14:26,210 --> 00:14:30,010
He didn't fill them out
quite as well as you, though.
188
00:14:30,550 --> 00:14:34,000
Special effects. Hollywood.
Not all me.
189
00:14:34,220 --> 00:14:37,340
Oh, I doubt that very seriously.
190
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:40,530
Well, then get him enthusiastic,
damn it!
191
00:14:41,330 --> 00:14:42,630
Come on, get up.
192
00:14:42,830 --> 00:14:44,860
How'd it go in there?
We all set now?
193
00:14:45,060 --> 00:14:46,930
Oh, yeah, we're real tight.
194
00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:02,810
Only the finest for you, superstar.
195
00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:09,210
I was just playing.
196
00:15:15,260 --> 00:15:16,590
I ain't gonna forget you, Crewe.
197
00:15:16,790 --> 00:15:18,880
Hey, yo, you owe me money
on that game, punk!
198
00:15:19,100 --> 00:15:20,770
Better watch yourself, Mr. Football!
199
00:15:20,970 --> 00:15:22,170
Bitch!
200
00:15:28,770 --> 00:15:30,740
Yeah, you better run, woman.
201
00:15:33,780 --> 00:15:35,140
Yo, football.
202
00:15:35,950 --> 00:15:37,290
Take a seat.
203
00:15:37,850 --> 00:15:39,340
Thanks.
204
00:15:39,550 --> 00:15:42,380
You know, I have never seen
one inmate just walk in here
205
00:15:42,590 --> 00:15:45,690
and be unanimously hated
by the entire population.
206
00:15:45,890 --> 00:15:48,220
- I ain't never seen it.
- How'd I get so lucky?
207
00:15:48,430 --> 00:15:50,300
You could have robbed banks,
sold crack,
208
00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:53,030
stole your grandmama's pension,
and nobody would have cared.
209
00:15:53,230 --> 00:15:56,720
But shaving points off a football game?
Man, that's just un-American.
210
00:15:56,930 --> 00:15:59,130
- You play football?
- Me? No.
211
00:15:59,340 --> 00:16:02,370
I suck so bad, they used to pick me
after the white kids.
212
00:16:02,570 --> 00:16:06,300
Used to be mad too. It's like, "I can't
believe I picked a nigga that can't play. "
213
00:16:06,510 --> 00:16:09,500
- Caretaker.
- Paul Crewe.
214
00:16:09,710 --> 00:16:12,180
Whatever your pleasure,
I can facilitate.
215
00:16:12,380 --> 00:16:15,510
You need weed, you need meth...
Hey, you need Prozac, I'm your man.
216
00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:17,950
I know how you white boys
always deal with that depression.
217
00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:20,430
I mean, me personally, I don't
understand what you white boys
218
00:16:20,630 --> 00:16:22,660
all depressed about.
Hey, you're white. Smile.
219
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:27,130
And for a small fee,
I can even get you McDonald's.
220
00:16:27,330 --> 00:16:28,960
- Really?
- Yeah, that's right. Mickey D's.
221
00:16:29,170 --> 00:16:30,900
My man Cheeseburger Eddy
got the hookup.
222
00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:32,070
Cheeseburger Eddy?
223
00:16:32,270 --> 00:16:34,100
That's right.
We can get our McFlurry on.
224
00:16:34,310 --> 00:16:36,010
Enjoy it, fat man.
225
00:16:36,210 --> 00:16:38,340
What about the love
of a beautiful woman?
226
00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:41,030
Well, you're gonna have
to lower your standards
227
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:43,220
on the beautiful part
and on the woman part.
228
00:16:43,410 --> 00:16:45,280
Hey.
229
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:47,480
Let's just stick
with the cheeseburgers.
230
00:16:47,690 --> 00:16:50,890
Oh, they ugly now, but in eight months,
he gonna look like Beyoncй.
231
00:16:51,090 --> 00:16:52,050
No, thanks.
232
00:16:52,260 --> 00:16:54,200
Now, here's the most important part.
233
00:16:54,390 --> 00:16:56,760
You can't let these guys scare you.
You can't let them punk you.
234
00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:59,690
Because if you do that, you gonna
end up being somebody's bitch.
235
00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:02,690
Don't want that.
Thanks for the advice.
236
00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:11,230
Hey. Let me take that tray
out for you.
237
00:17:11,740 --> 00:17:13,000
I ain't done eating yet.
238
00:17:13,210 --> 00:17:15,010
Oh, you're not?
I'll give it back to you, then.
239
00:17:16,150 --> 00:17:17,710
You're dead!
240
00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:28,550
Hornet's Nest!
241
00:17:41,270 --> 00:17:42,530
Everybody stay down.
242
00:17:42,740 --> 00:17:44,100
Stay quiet!
243
00:17:48,780 --> 00:17:50,510
Come on, Crewe, get up.
244
00:17:51,050 --> 00:17:52,480
Get up, superstar.
245
00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:54,490
Yes, sir.
246
00:17:54,690 --> 00:17:57,820
You think you can do anything
you want around here, don't you?
247
00:17:58,020 --> 00:18:00,580
Well, you are no different
than any other piece of shit
248
00:18:00,790 --> 00:18:02,520
that calls this place home.
249
00:18:03,060 --> 00:18:06,650
Really? These guys think
you're a dumb redneck too?
250
00:18:08,030 --> 00:18:09,860
Girl, that's your new boo.
251
00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:19,170
You better cut that shit out.
It's getting old.
252
00:18:20,180 --> 00:18:21,710
That's gonna cost you.
253
00:18:22,050 --> 00:18:23,380
Looking forward to it.
254
00:19:17,270 --> 00:19:19,390
Wake up, Sleeping Beauty.
255
00:19:22,010 --> 00:19:23,240
Hey, superdick.
256
00:19:25,210 --> 00:19:28,330
Warden's wondering if your stay
in the hotbox has changed your mind.
257
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:30,510
How long have I been in here?
258
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:33,190
One week. Wanna go for two?
259
00:19:41,330 --> 00:19:42,960
How'd you find these guys anyways?
260
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:44,280
Recruitment, boy.
261
00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:47,840
When college stars don't get drafted,
they need a place to go.
262
00:19:48,030 --> 00:19:51,090
A job, money, security.
263
00:19:51,300 --> 00:19:54,000
Who drank all the damn Gatorade?!
264
00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:55,960
Damn it!
265
00:19:56,170 --> 00:19:57,760
And apparently steroids.
266
00:19:58,410 --> 00:20:01,710
Look, seems like you got all the talent
you'd want. So why do you need me?
267
00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:03,770
Well, now, you might
find this hard to believe,
268
00:20:03,980 --> 00:20:06,810
but there's folks here in the prison
league don't care for me very much.
269
00:20:07,020 --> 00:20:10,120
- You, warden?
- They thought it might be amusing
270
00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:12,950
to schedule the defending
league champs as our first game.
271
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:15,830
And me? Well, I thought
an old pro like yourself
272
00:20:16,030 --> 00:20:19,900
might have some training-camp tricks,
drills, insights to offer up.
273
00:20:20,100 --> 00:20:21,800
Give us the competitive edge.
274
00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:26,060
All right. Relatively simple.
You need a tune-up game.
275
00:20:26,270 --> 00:20:27,230
A tune-up game?
276
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:30,060
Yeah. In college, we'd start every
season against Appalachian State
277
00:20:30,270 --> 00:20:31,860
or some slack Division II team.
278
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:35,310
Kick the living shit out of them.
Get their confidence up.
279
00:20:36,850 --> 00:20:38,450
You know something, Paul?
280
00:20:38,650 --> 00:20:40,980
- You've just given me an inspiration.
- That's great. What?
281
00:20:41,190 --> 00:20:44,160
You're gonna assemble a team
to play the first game against us.
282
00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:47,700
And you, Mr. Crewe,
are gonna be the quarterback.
283
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:49,180
I don't think so.
284
00:20:49,390 --> 00:20:50,720
Let me tell you something.
285
00:20:50,930 --> 00:20:53,920
In my prison, to get along,
you gotta go along.
286
00:20:54,130 --> 00:20:56,290
I just wanna do my three years
and be done.
287
00:20:56,500 --> 00:20:59,260
Three years is before
you assaulted Captain Knauer.
288
00:21:00,070 --> 00:21:03,700
Now, you could be with us
for a very long time, Mr. Crewe.
289
00:21:05,810 --> 00:21:07,330
Fine, I'll do it.
290
00:21:08,410 --> 00:21:09,430
Good choice.
291
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:12,940
But one condition, though.
292
00:21:13,150 --> 00:21:15,880
Gotta promise me to keep
Captain Knauer off my back.
293
00:21:16,090 --> 00:21:17,060
It's a deal.
294
00:21:17,250 --> 00:21:19,850
Now, you got four weeks
to assemble a team and train them.
295
00:21:20,060 --> 00:21:23,260
What, are we gonna have a half-hour
a day to practice with a Nerf ball?
296
00:21:23,460 --> 00:21:27,050
Oh, I'll make sure my boys allow you
sufficient freedom, within these walls,
297
00:21:27,260 --> 00:21:29,060
to get your team in shape.
298
00:21:33,270 --> 00:21:36,530
What's this? "Football 'tree-outs. "'
299
00:21:36,740 --> 00:21:38,070
What the hell is a "tree-out"?
300
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,110
"Tryout," you half a meatball.
301
00:21:40,310 --> 00:21:43,300
- What's this football thing about, man?
- Crewe's getting a team together.
302
00:21:43,510 --> 00:21:46,040
- To play against who?
- The guards.
303
00:21:46,250 --> 00:21:49,910
Now, I don't know about y'all,
but I occasionally have the impulse
304
00:21:50,120 --> 00:21:52,920
to physically assault one of our
finer correctional officers.
305
00:21:53,120 --> 00:21:55,320
Yeah? Well, how the hell
we gonna get to do that?
306
00:21:55,530 --> 00:21:58,430
Just show up at the "tree-outs,"
you big, dumb bitch.
307
00:21:59,860 --> 00:22:01,260
Do the girls get to play?
308
00:22:01,470 --> 00:22:04,310
We're playing footballs,
not balls-balls.
309
00:22:04,500 --> 00:22:07,800
This is bullshit. Just another chance
for the guards to beat on us.
310
00:22:08,010 --> 00:22:11,040
Don't you idiots get it? We could get
a free shot at the guards.
311
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:13,670
This is our turn.
We could beat up on them.
312
00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:15,430
We could kill them.
313
00:22:16,380 --> 00:22:17,840
Kill them.
314
00:22:23,620 --> 00:22:26,750
You know MVP
sold his own teammates out.
315
00:22:27,390 --> 00:22:30,080
What do you think
he's gonna do to you fools?
316
00:22:31,500 --> 00:22:34,900
And that's the truth.
With some cheese on it.
317
00:22:35,670 --> 00:22:37,640
There ain't no meat loaf
between these buns.
318
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:40,170
Yo, man, that's my flier, man!
I worked hard on it!
319
00:22:40,370 --> 00:22:43,500
You see? He ran like a little bitch,
right? You saw that, right?
320
00:22:44,310 --> 00:22:46,330
Yo, team needs you.
Team needs you.
321
00:22:46,540 --> 00:22:49,410
You sh... You come to the tr...
Come to the tree-outs.
322
00:22:54,890 --> 00:22:57,360
Crappy field, shit-ass equipment...
323
00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:00,590
Hey, man, at least we got some
world-class players over there.
324
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:04,720
Forty-five.
325
00:23:05,500 --> 00:23:07,560
Forty-six.
326
00:23:08,500 --> 00:23:10,190
Forty-seven.
327
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:11,590
He might make the team.
328
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,170
Well, if we gotta cut him,
you're doing it.
329
00:23:14,370 --> 00:23:16,060
Forty-nine.
330
00:23:17,010 --> 00:23:18,540
Fifty.
331
00:23:18,740 --> 00:23:19,970
- All right, man.
- Good job, man.
332
00:23:20,180 --> 00:23:22,650
Well, well, well.
You a football player?
333
00:23:22,850 --> 00:23:25,850
Oh, no. I never played
no football, mister.
334
00:23:26,050 --> 00:23:29,210
So, what happened? You read the flier,
thought it looked like some fun?
335
00:23:29,420 --> 00:23:31,110
- Oh, I can't read.
- Oh, don't worry.
336
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:32,510
Reading's for rich people.
337
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:37,080
So you know, we're putting together
a football team. Love you to join.
338
00:23:37,700 --> 00:23:39,430
Will you teach me to football?
339
00:23:39,630 --> 00:23:41,860
Sure we'll teach you to football.
Won't we, Caretaker?
340
00:23:42,070 --> 00:23:44,270
Hey, I'll teach you anything.
Just don't eat me.
341
00:23:45,540 --> 00:23:47,410
Okay.
342
00:23:49,070 --> 00:23:51,230
Down, Shrek. Down!
343
00:23:51,980 --> 00:23:56,650
Okay, bring it in. Whoever's trying out
for the team, wake up.
344
00:23:56,850 --> 00:23:58,340
Can you give a brother
a little hustle?
345
00:23:58,750 --> 00:24:00,240
Very good.
346
00:24:00,450 --> 00:24:03,040
For those of you who don't know
who I am, I'm Paul Crewe.
347
00:24:03,250 --> 00:24:07,210
I'm gonna be your coach,
your captain, your quarterback.
348
00:24:07,420 --> 00:24:09,410
You haven't played in years.
Why can't I be quarterback?
349
00:24:09,630 --> 00:24:11,630
- You're right. Let's see what you got.
- All right.
350
00:24:11,830 --> 00:24:13,950
- Hit me, I'm open.
- Hike, hike! Hike!
351
00:24:14,330 --> 00:24:16,300
That's why.
Now, sit down and shut up.
352
00:24:16,500 --> 00:24:18,400
It slipped. I just ate popcorn.
353
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:21,830
Question: Any of you gentlemen
ever play football before?
354
00:24:22,740 --> 00:24:24,640
- You did? Where?
- Kansas State.
355
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:27,030
Are you shitting me?
For Coach Snyder?
356
00:24:27,510 --> 00:24:28,870
Kansas State Prison.
357
00:24:30,180 --> 00:24:33,200
Now, I hear they have
the softest mattresses out there.
358
00:24:33,420 --> 00:24:34,760
Yeah, they do.
359
00:24:34,950 --> 00:24:37,140
Not as soft as the ones
at West Texas Mental Institution.
360
00:24:37,350 --> 00:24:39,980
- Really?
- Let's finish this conversation later.
361
00:24:40,190 --> 00:24:43,280
For now, I wanna see
what you got out there.
362
00:24:43,490 --> 00:24:45,690
We'll grade them
on a scale of one to ten.
363
00:24:45,900 --> 00:24:48,060
Move it! Hustle, hustle, hustle!
364
00:24:48,270 --> 00:24:51,300
Give these guys sixes.
Give these guys fives.
365
00:24:51,500 --> 00:24:53,930
Good. Good.
Give them threes.
366
00:24:54,140 --> 00:24:55,470
Very nice!
367
00:24:56,770 --> 00:24:59,760
- Aren't we missing somebody?
- Where's the Kansas State guy?
368
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:05,780
You assholes better not cut me!
I'm still on this team!
369
00:25:07,020 --> 00:25:08,050
Negative two.
370
00:25:08,250 --> 00:25:10,270
All right, go with negative two.
371
00:25:10,490 --> 00:25:13,690
Hey! Somebody bring me
a Diet Coke!
372
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:15,950
- Let's do this!
- That's it!
373
00:25:16,360 --> 00:25:18,090
Five.
374
00:25:18,660 --> 00:25:20,560
Good. Seven.
375
00:25:21,330 --> 00:25:23,590
Stupid tire! You're a fricking tire!
376
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:27,030
You think you're better than me?!
I'll kick your ass!
377
00:25:28,470 --> 00:25:29,440
Three.
378
00:25:31,510 --> 00:25:32,530
And a half?
379
00:25:33,140 --> 00:25:35,110
Yeah. That's better.
380
00:25:35,310 --> 00:25:36,780
Okay. Good.
381
00:25:37,450 --> 00:25:40,110
Yeah. Hit that bag, man.
There you go, man.
382
00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:41,290
Four.
383
00:25:43,650 --> 00:25:45,450
- Five. I don't know.
- I go.
384
00:25:45,660 --> 00:25:47,320
Come on, Switowski!
385
00:25:48,930 --> 00:25:51,490
Daddy!
386
00:25:52,830 --> 00:25:54,160
Oh, man!
387
00:25:54,470 --> 00:25:56,370
- Look at that.
- He got it off the hinge.
388
00:25:56,570 --> 00:25:59,170
- I think that's a ten.
- Let's go with a ten.
389
00:25:59,370 --> 00:26:02,730
I'm sorry. I "brokeded" your toy.
390
00:26:02,940 --> 00:26:06,070
No, that's a good thing. You should
have a victory hug with Caretaker.
391
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:09,050
What? What you
talking about, man? Hey!
392
00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:12,490
Asshole!
393
00:26:14,420 --> 00:26:17,080
Okay, fellas, it's pretty simple.
You do a buttonhook.
394
00:26:17,290 --> 00:26:19,790
The rest of you guys block for me.
I'll take care of the rest.
395
00:26:19,990 --> 00:26:22,080
Okay? On "go. " On "go. "
396
00:26:22,290 --> 00:26:24,220
Ready? Break!
397
00:26:27,330 --> 00:26:28,520
We'll work on that.
398
00:26:29,270 --> 00:26:33,040
Okay, half speed on this one, guys.
Slow and easy.
399
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:34,210
Ready?!
400
00:26:34,910 --> 00:26:36,000
Go!
401
00:26:42,980 --> 00:26:44,270
Stop it!
402
00:26:50,490 --> 00:26:51,980
Stop the violence!
403
00:26:52,190 --> 00:26:54,680
Can't we all get along?
404
00:27:04,230 --> 00:27:06,130
- Hey, Paul.
- Unger.
405
00:27:06,340 --> 00:27:08,470
- Team's looking great.
- Oh, yeah.
406
00:27:08,670 --> 00:27:10,400
- So are you.
- Yep. Working on it.
407
00:27:10,610 --> 00:27:15,750
The blood of the guards is gonna flow
like the rivers of ancient Babylon.
408
00:27:15,950 --> 00:27:19,410
That's good news.
Unger, you're the man.
409
00:27:20,850 --> 00:27:24,410
Good job today. You're all starting
to look really sharp out there. Yeah.
410
00:27:24,620 --> 00:27:25,920
See you tomorrow.
411
00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:29,560
- We're gonna suck.
- Yeah. No doubt about it.
412
00:27:43,810 --> 00:27:45,780
You look like
you could use a little help.
413
00:27:45,980 --> 00:27:50,280
No offense, my man,
but you're a little seasoned.
414
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:51,470
Seasoned?
415
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:55,010
I'm not asking to play. I'll coach.
I'm Nate Scarborough.
416
00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:57,180
Nate Scarborough?
417
00:27:58,390 --> 00:28:00,290
The Heisman Trophy winner
from Oklahoma?
418
00:28:01,430 --> 00:28:04,420
The inmate from cellblock D.
419
00:28:04,630 --> 00:28:08,080
But about a hundred years ago,
when I could run and gun,
420
00:28:08,570 --> 00:28:11,060
yeah, I was a Sooner then.
421
00:28:11,270 --> 00:28:12,890
I heard you were dead.
422
00:28:13,100 --> 00:28:17,200
No, I ain't dead.
I've been right here, rotting.
423
00:28:17,410 --> 00:28:21,080
Waiting for a chance to get back
at those sadistic guards.
424
00:28:21,310 --> 00:28:24,180
Waiting. For this.
425
00:28:24,380 --> 00:28:25,540
Well, coach, as you can see,
426
00:28:25,750 --> 00:28:28,510
we don't exactly have the cream
of the crop to work with here.
427
00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:30,950
Well, what are we gonna do?
How are we gonna find players?
428
00:28:31,150 --> 00:28:33,350
How'd they get you
to go to Florida State?
429
00:28:34,060 --> 00:28:35,120
They recruited me.
430
00:28:36,990 --> 00:28:38,720
I'll get the strippers.
431
00:28:41,700 --> 00:28:45,190
Well, now, Lindsay, this isn't
about credit or congratulations.
432
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:48,160
This is about giving men
who've made mistakes in their lives
433
00:28:48,370 --> 00:28:50,700
an opportunity
to rise above themselves.
434
00:28:50,910 --> 00:28:53,670
To move beyond
the bars of containment.
435
00:28:54,180 --> 00:28:55,170
Say what?
436
00:28:56,010 --> 00:28:58,270
What I would do to you.
437
00:29:10,290 --> 00:29:12,160
Yeah. Nice boot, skin man.
438
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:14,590
Hey, why does he get to be
the kicker? I was All-State, man.
439
00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:16,560
Let's see what you got.
440
00:29:16,770 --> 00:29:18,440
That's why, you dumb-ass.
441
00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:20,440
Just go do some laps.
442
00:29:20,870 --> 00:29:22,390
I heard you boys needed to see me.
443
00:29:22,610 --> 00:29:24,380
Yeah. I want you to meet Skitchy.
444
00:29:24,570 --> 00:29:27,170
Hey, dog.
Check that building over there.
445
00:29:27,410 --> 00:29:29,710
They keep all the records
in the basement.
446
00:29:29,910 --> 00:29:32,210
He's been here so long,
he knows where everything is.
447
00:29:32,420 --> 00:29:34,450
That ain't necessarily
a good thing, is it?
448
00:29:34,650 --> 00:29:38,450
I had a parole date in '86.
But I got in a tussle with a guard and...
449
00:29:38,660 --> 00:29:40,060
One punch and it went away.
450
00:29:40,260 --> 00:29:41,860
Twenty extra years for one punch?
451
00:29:42,060 --> 00:29:44,080
Well, unfortunately for him,
the guard he punched
452
00:29:44,290 --> 00:29:46,160
just happens to be the warden now.
453
00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:48,120
Oh, shit. Warden Hazen?
454
00:29:48,330 --> 00:29:49,460
"Oh, shit" is right.
455
00:29:51,670 --> 00:29:54,000
Fight in the yard. Send backup.
456
00:29:54,670 --> 00:29:56,030
Right on time.
457
00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:58,300
- Let's do it.
- Let's do it.
458
00:30:03,010 --> 00:30:05,670
Ain't you guys glad you got
a black man for a friend?
459
00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:07,470
- Hell, yeah.
- Come on.
460
00:30:14,860 --> 00:30:17,380
Hazen has a rating system
for every con.
461
00:30:17,590 --> 00:30:18,890
What's three stars?
462
00:30:19,100 --> 00:30:23,940
The more prone to violence that the
inmate is, the more stars he gets.
463
00:30:24,130 --> 00:30:25,530
Five stars is the max.
464
00:30:25,740 --> 00:30:29,270
I didn't know that. Let's see how many
stars my maniacal ass got.
465
00:30:32,540 --> 00:30:36,340
Half a star? That's gotta be a mistake.
Check it again. Check it again.
466
00:30:36,550 --> 00:30:38,520
You're about as maniacal
as a boxful of kittens.
467
00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:39,880
Come on, that's not funny, man.
468
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:42,610
I'm gonna have to stab somebody
or something. Get my rep up.
469
00:30:42,820 --> 00:30:46,080
Why don't we have a maniacal pillow
fight tonight. That could get it up some.
470
00:30:46,490 --> 00:30:48,820
Yeah. We can sell it to pay-per-view.
471
00:30:49,030 --> 00:30:52,000
Superstar Versus Half-a-Star.
472
00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:55,660
Why don't you shut up before I slit your
throat and watch the dust come out.
473
00:30:55,870 --> 00:30:57,600
Come on, guys,
we only got a couple minutes.
474
00:30:58,340 --> 00:30:59,310
How about this guy?
475
00:30:59,500 --> 00:31:02,300
Damn, this fool got the chair
three times, ain't died yet.
476
00:31:02,510 --> 00:31:04,340
Well, we may not have
the most talented team,
477
00:31:04,540 --> 00:31:06,970
but we will definitely
have the meanest.
478
00:31:42,210 --> 00:31:45,540
- What's he doing that for?
- Because he's a freak.
479
00:31:45,950 --> 00:31:48,970
Hey, Sasquatch!
Someone's here to see you!
480
00:31:49,190 --> 00:31:51,320
Not too smart on your part.
481
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:56,420
Hey.
482
00:31:57,260 --> 00:31:59,280
How's the headbanging coming?
483
00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:03,820
You're bleeding. Just so you know.
484
00:32:05,870 --> 00:32:08,730
People have told me that
you and I look a lot alike,
485
00:32:08,940 --> 00:32:11,170
so I wanted to see for myself.
486
00:32:13,310 --> 00:32:14,930
I'm gonna take a piss.
487
00:32:15,810 --> 00:32:18,570
You scared him away, dumbshit.
488
00:32:24,090 --> 00:32:27,220
You're kidding. Five-star Torres
likes The View?
489
00:32:27,420 --> 00:32:28,720
No, just Joy Behar.
490
00:32:28,930 --> 00:32:31,800
The good news is she can
breast-feed standing up. That's it.
491
00:32:33,900 --> 00:32:36,130
Where does she come up
with this shit?
492
00:32:37,630 --> 00:32:40,620
I'm a Star Jones man myself.
I love that big bitch.
493
00:32:41,140 --> 00:32:42,800
That was, like, the furthest thing.
494
00:32:43,010 --> 00:32:44,610
I got married so young, so, I mean,
495
00:32:44,810 --> 00:32:47,070
they weren't pressuring me,
the society was pressuring me...
496
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:48,770
Mr. Torres.
497
00:32:48,980 --> 00:32:51,470
Us convicts are starting up
a football team.
498
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:53,040
Not interested.
499
00:32:53,620 --> 00:32:54,890
We're playing the guards.
500
00:32:56,820 --> 00:32:58,110
Walk away.
501
00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:00,400
Good idea.
502
00:33:00,820 --> 00:33:02,250
0 for 2.
503
00:33:02,660 --> 00:33:04,620
You're putting the pressure
on her right now.
504
00:33:04,830 --> 00:33:06,220
Show's over, amigo.
505
00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:09,750
I still got 15 minutes of Joy Behar.
506
00:33:09,970 --> 00:33:14,470
Well, I'm cutting you short.
Back to your cell, asswipe.
507
00:33:14,870 --> 00:33:16,100
Hey, white boy.
508
00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:20,670
Cherryhead gonna play?
509
00:33:21,650 --> 00:33:22,880
Yes, he is.
510
00:33:29,090 --> 00:33:30,790
Crewe, don't forget,
I'm gonna be open.
511
00:33:31,390 --> 00:33:32,750
Green 40! Hut!
512
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:40,440
Damn!
513
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:44,730
Brucie. Brucie. You all right?
You breathing?
514
00:33:45,300 --> 00:33:48,230
I got a bird. His name is Ronnie.
515
00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:51,340
Well, tell Ronnie you got
knocked the fuck out.
516
00:33:54,280 --> 00:33:58,550
Wow, no bullshit. Real football?
Against the guards?
517
00:33:58,750 --> 00:33:59,910
Full contact.
518
00:34:00,220 --> 00:34:01,850
Captain Knauer is their quarterback?
519
00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:06,240
- Yep.
- So I get to tackle him?
520
00:34:06,460 --> 00:34:09,260
Yeah. You can either tackle him or hit
him over the head with that hammer.
521
00:34:10,690 --> 00:34:13,180
I wanna hurt him. Not kill him.
522
00:34:13,530 --> 00:34:15,590
Let's get out of here
before that thing bites somebody.
523
00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:18,990
All right. We'll see you
and your pet iguana at practice.
524
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:22,000
Down, set!
525
00:34:25,210 --> 00:34:26,570
Hut! Hut!
526
00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:31,600
Hey!
527
00:34:32,650 --> 00:34:34,240
- Hit me.
- Get rid of it.
528
00:34:35,250 --> 00:34:36,770
Get rid of it!
529
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:39,920
He didn't get rid of it.
530
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:43,290
Sacked your ass.
531
00:34:44,290 --> 00:34:46,760
Somebody's gotta get open, guys.
532
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:48,430
You got hammered by the hammer.
533
00:34:48,630 --> 00:34:51,660
I think I felt it on my leg.
We gotta get some speed, man.
534
00:34:51,870 --> 00:34:53,770
What'd you expect?
You got no brothers out there.
535
00:34:53,970 --> 00:34:55,730
What are you talking about?
We got Switowski.
536
00:34:56,710 --> 00:34:58,870
Switowski? That's one brother.
537
00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:00,980
That's a lonely nigga.
This ain't hockey.
538
00:35:01,650 --> 00:35:03,750
You want some speed,
you know where to go.
539
00:35:12,220 --> 00:35:14,880
Hey, yo, check out
this fake Slim Shady, man.
540
00:35:16,330 --> 00:35:18,560
I knew you couldn't resist my shit.
541
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:20,950
I got the shakes
that'll make you quake.
542
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:23,960
I got the fries that'll cross your eyes.
543
00:35:24,170 --> 00:35:26,170
I got the burgers that'Il...
544
00:35:28,610 --> 00:35:30,010
I just got burgers.
545
00:35:30,210 --> 00:35:31,270
I'm all right. Thank you.
546
00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:35,640
Just wanted to talk to you fellas about
possibly joining the football team.
547
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:38,000
The only game we'd play with you is
548
00:35:38,210 --> 00:35:43,150
Slap the Point-Shaving White Boy
Till He Cries Like a Baby-Back Bitch.
549
00:35:43,420 --> 00:35:47,440
Baby-back bitch, baby-back bitch
Baby-back bitch
550
00:35:47,660 --> 00:35:49,830
- That's a big-ass robot.
- Yeah.
551
00:35:54,660 --> 00:35:56,720
You gonna help me out here?
552
00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:00,100
Thank you, Half-a-Star.
553
00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:03,010
Just so you know,
we are playing the guards.
554
00:36:03,210 --> 00:36:05,980
That ain't a team.
That's just a bunch of dumb rednecks
555
00:36:06,180 --> 00:36:08,670
giving themselves excuses
to grab each other.
556
00:36:09,780 --> 00:36:11,970
This guy must be
quite the athlete, huh?
557
00:36:12,720 --> 00:36:16,160
You risk bringing your ass in the jungle
because you know I am.
558
00:36:16,350 --> 00:36:19,510
Yeah, so you'd beat me
in a game of one-on-one, right?
559
00:36:19,720 --> 00:36:22,810
- What?
- I think it's time for you to get stepping.
560
00:36:23,030 --> 00:36:25,160
How's this, though? One game.
561
00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:29,520
I beat you, you guys play for the team.
You beat me, I'll leave you alone.
562
00:36:30,570 --> 00:36:32,630
Take that. Take that, Deac.
563
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:34,970
This fool ain't nothing
but a thing, baby.
564
00:36:35,940 --> 00:36:38,560
- Ball, dog.
- Ball up!
565
00:36:38,780 --> 00:36:40,150
Can Crewe play ball?
566
00:36:40,340 --> 00:36:41,600
He's a natural athlete.
567
00:36:41,810 --> 00:36:45,070
So is Greg Louganis, but I bet you
he'd get his ass whupped out here.
568
00:36:45,580 --> 00:36:47,910
- Game's 11. Call your own fouls.
- Okay.
569
00:36:49,350 --> 00:36:51,510
- Come on, come on.
- Give it to him, Deac!
570
00:36:56,460 --> 00:36:57,550
Did I get you?
571
00:36:58,190 --> 00:36:59,490
No, that was clean.
572
00:36:59,700 --> 00:37:01,670
He'll be all right. Call his mama.
573
00:37:01,870 --> 00:37:04,340
- If I foul you, tell me, dog.
- Okay, baby.
574
00:37:08,370 --> 00:37:09,860
Take this f... Take this foul.
575
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:15,410
What happened there?
I think it's my ball, right?
576
00:37:15,650 --> 00:37:16,620
All right.
577
00:37:16,810 --> 00:37:18,570
Get up! Get up, Deac!
578
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:19,950
Come on, Paul!
579
00:37:20,150 --> 00:37:21,240
- Calm down.
- What?
580
00:37:21,450 --> 00:37:23,880
Now, don't stir up
the brothers, now. Come on.
581
00:37:28,590 --> 00:37:30,080
Come on, Deacon!
582
00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:35,600
Did I get you, dog?
583
00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:38,630
Hell, no, baby. That was clean.
Good D.
584
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:40,210
I thought he didn't wanna get hurt.
585
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:42,930
It ain't about getting hurt.
It's about pride.
586
00:37:43,140 --> 00:37:45,040
I bet you he's pretty proud right now.
587
00:38:20,540 --> 00:38:23,070
It ain't easy being cheesy!
588
00:38:30,250 --> 00:38:32,510
Did I get you? Did I get you?
589
00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:35,320
- No, I think I'm okay, baby.
- I didn't get you, did I?
590
00:38:42,230 --> 00:38:43,460
That's traveling, bitch.
591
00:38:54,510 --> 00:38:55,980
You keep coming, huh?
592
00:38:57,580 --> 00:39:00,640
Game point, baby.
How you want the game put up?
593
00:39:07,390 --> 00:39:08,450
Foul.
594
00:39:10,330 --> 00:39:12,430
That was a bullshit call!
595
00:39:15,630 --> 00:39:17,530
My court, my ball.
596
00:39:29,010 --> 00:39:31,070
All right, y'all. Let Deac speak!
597
00:39:33,580 --> 00:39:35,310
Nice spanking that ass, dog.
598
00:39:37,020 --> 00:39:39,380
- Now, get stepping.
- Hold up.
599
00:39:43,330 --> 00:39:44,700
Y'all got a running back?
600
00:39:45,260 --> 00:39:46,890
Not any good ones.
601
00:39:47,300 --> 00:39:48,700
No disrespect, Deac...
602
00:39:49,730 --> 00:39:52,390
...but any man that can take
that kind of beating out here,
603
00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:55,260
I can't wait to see what he can do
in a contact sport.
604
00:39:55,470 --> 00:39:56,440
Shit, I'm in.
605
00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:02,440
Man, give me that cheeseburger.
You acting like a real McAsshole.
606
00:40:02,650 --> 00:40:06,110
Cheeseburger, he wants to run
with the white boys, we will let him.
607
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:07,790
Let's do this.
608
00:40:08,720 --> 00:40:09,680
Earl Megget.
609
00:40:09,890 --> 00:40:14,160
Well, we didn't get the whole chocolate
bar, but we got a Hershey's Kiss.
610
00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:15,420
I'll take it.
611
00:40:17,990 --> 00:40:20,080
Let's get this over with, rookie,
I'm starving.
612
00:40:20,300 --> 00:40:22,970
Fresh meat, boys! Fresh meat!
613
00:40:23,170 --> 00:40:24,770
Down, set!
614
00:40:25,370 --> 00:40:26,960
Battle, you're a psycho!
615
00:40:27,170 --> 00:40:29,140
Tony, you're a fat shit! Hut!
616
00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:39,140
Holy shit!
617
00:40:43,720 --> 00:40:45,410
Get him!
618
00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:56,360
Ran right out of your shoes, huh?
Hey, manager, don't you think
619
00:40:56,570 --> 00:40:58,910
we can get our new star running back
a decent pair of cleats?
620
00:40:59,100 --> 00:41:02,230
Yeah. I think I got a cousin
that drives a truck for Reebok.
621
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:04,840
It's cool, man.
I never had shoes growing up no way.
622
00:41:05,040 --> 00:41:06,730
- I'll be all right for now.
- Oh, okay.
623
00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:09,430
Get your country ass
back in the huddle.
624
00:41:09,650 --> 00:41:11,250
That boy got some slave feet,
you see that?
625
00:41:13,650 --> 00:41:15,740
Defense! Huddle up over there!
626
00:41:15,950 --> 00:41:17,750
Paul. Paul.
627
00:41:17,950 --> 00:41:20,010
Hey, ladies. How's it hanging?
628
00:41:20,220 --> 00:41:22,250
- Tell him.
- I'm gonna say something to him.
629
00:41:22,460 --> 00:41:25,420
I just wanted to let you know
I am your biggest fan.
630
00:41:25,630 --> 00:41:29,650
And I will be cheering my jailhouse
boobies off for you at game day.
631
00:41:29,870 --> 00:41:31,340
I appreciate that. Thank you.
632
00:41:31,530 --> 00:41:33,000
Paul.
633
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:35,600
I appreciate you.
634
00:41:36,170 --> 00:41:38,160
Okay, thanks. I'm glad to know that.
635
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:41,550
Okay, are you done now?
636
00:41:41,740 --> 00:41:44,400
What's wrong with you? Jealous
because I don't cheer for you anymore?
637
00:41:44,610 --> 00:41:46,810
I don't know what
you're talking about, freak show.
638
00:41:47,020 --> 00:41:48,650
Whatever, back freckles.
639
00:41:49,190 --> 00:41:51,520
Oh, yeah, back freckles.
She's making up shit now.
640
00:41:51,720 --> 00:41:53,150
I'm gonna get some water.
641
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:57,030
That feature interview
worked better than I thought.
642
00:41:57,230 --> 00:41:59,390
I just got off the phone with ESPN2.
643
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:02,370
They want to televise
the football game.
644
00:42:02,570 --> 00:42:06,060
Guards, cons, Paul Crewe,
it's compelling stuff.
645
00:42:06,270 --> 00:42:08,390
Lots of human interest.
646
00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:10,360
Don't do that in here.
647
00:42:11,570 --> 00:42:12,970
Television.
648
00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:16,270
Dandridge, do you think
that might help my visibility
649
00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:18,500
with the registered voters
of this fine state?
650
00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:20,240
Oh, yes.
651
00:42:36,870 --> 00:42:38,670
The freak is back!
652
00:42:51,810 --> 00:42:53,400
Hey, hey. It's me again.
653
00:42:55,820 --> 00:42:58,810
You know, if I take this half down,
we could play together.
654
00:43:01,060 --> 00:43:03,160
I'm just gonna take this half down.
655
00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:09,190
Don't worry. Don't worry.
I got another ball.
656
00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:11,690
It's okay.
657
00:43:12,340 --> 00:43:13,740
You wanna serve?
658
00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:16,360
I'll serve.
659
00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:25,140
Really good news.
We started a football team.
660
00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:26,990
You like football?
661
00:43:27,180 --> 00:43:28,610
It's kind of like Ping-Pong.
662
00:43:28,820 --> 00:43:32,150
Only the ball's a little bigger
and egg-shaped, like my head.
663
00:43:33,490 --> 00:43:36,350
Just a joke. Stay calm.
664
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:39,290
Give you a good chance
to throw people on the ground,
665
00:43:39,500 --> 00:43:43,800
hurt them like you used to when you
were a kid, 10 feet 6 inches ago.
666
00:43:46,170 --> 00:43:48,160
We'd be playing the guards.
667
00:43:51,610 --> 00:43:53,580
I think Papajohn's their safety.
668
00:44:11,890 --> 00:44:14,760
Turley, nobody gets to me.
We'll play more Ping-Pong later, okay?
669
00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:19,870
Hut!
670
00:44:24,410 --> 00:44:25,510
Effective.
671
00:44:26,310 --> 00:44:29,870
- All right.
- He brokeded my nose.
672
00:44:32,950 --> 00:44:34,740
I don't wanna play no more.
673
00:44:34,950 --> 00:44:37,180
Hey, hey, hey. Switowski,
what are you talking about?
674
00:44:37,390 --> 00:44:39,020
This is football. Shit happens.
675
00:44:39,220 --> 00:44:41,880
Paul, he brokeded my nose.
676
00:44:42,090 --> 00:44:43,520
Okay. Stop crying.
677
00:44:44,060 --> 00:44:46,690
All right. We can fix this.
Here we go.
678
00:44:48,100 --> 00:44:50,470
Okay. Good, good.
679
00:44:51,270 --> 00:44:52,260
How's it look?
680
00:44:52,470 --> 00:44:55,800
How's it look? It looks... It looks like...
It looks better than before.
681
00:44:56,770 --> 00:44:58,900
- Really?
- Yeah, it's straighter.
682
00:44:59,110 --> 00:45:02,230
More distinguished.
Kind of like a young Michael Jackson.
683
00:45:02,450 --> 00:45:04,650
I love little Michael.
684
00:45:04,850 --> 00:45:06,520
That's great. That's great.
685
00:45:07,850 --> 00:45:09,510
I think he did it on purpose.
686
00:45:09,720 --> 00:45:11,650
No, he didn't.
687
00:45:13,790 --> 00:45:15,340
Okay, maybe he did.
688
00:45:15,560 --> 00:45:18,460
You gotta apologize to him.
Come on, Turley.
689
00:45:20,100 --> 00:45:21,730
Say you're sorry.
690
00:45:23,670 --> 00:45:25,200
Come on. Say it.
691
00:45:29,010 --> 00:45:32,380
He said he's sorry.
I got him to say he's sorry.
692
00:45:32,580 --> 00:45:34,170
Yeah, yeah. We're all impressed.
693
00:45:36,950 --> 00:45:39,290
Looking good, gentlemen.
Way to work hard.
694
00:45:39,480 --> 00:45:41,640
Good practice, Paul!
Me and the girls wanna show you
695
00:45:41,850 --> 00:45:43,100
- what we've been practicing.
- Okay, hit me.
696
00:45:43,130 --> 00:45:44,340
- What we've been practicing.
- Okay, hit me.
697
00:45:44,990 --> 00:45:47,720
Come on, let's go. One, two, three.
698
00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:50,820
Give me a...
699
00:45:51,030 --> 00:45:54,330
D, D, give me a I
I, I, give me a C
700
00:45:54,530 --> 00:45:55,520
C, give me a...
701
00:45:55,730 --> 00:45:58,990
All right, all right! I got it.
Just save it for the game.
702
00:45:59,200 --> 00:46:01,060
Don't act like you ain't
want to see more, Brucie!
703
00:46:01,270 --> 00:46:03,430
- Yeah, you wish, pal.
- No, you wish I'd kiss you again,
704
00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:06,570
because your breath
smell like eight cans of shark shit.
705
00:46:06,780 --> 00:46:08,310
I wouldn't touch her
with a 10-foot pole.
706
00:46:08,510 --> 00:46:10,070
- What's he talking about?
- He's a freak.
707
00:46:23,590 --> 00:46:25,990
Run, Forrest, run!
708
00:46:30,570 --> 00:46:33,060
That's how a white man plays guitar.
709
00:46:36,570 --> 00:46:38,660
Captain, he said he had some info.
710
00:46:38,870 --> 00:46:42,330
You guys have "Halo 2."
I didn't even think that was out yet.
711
00:46:43,050 --> 00:46:44,850
Focus. Turn the music off!
712
00:46:45,050 --> 00:46:47,220
Yeah, captain.
You know them convicts?
713
00:46:47,420 --> 00:46:49,250
They're starting to get
some serious players.
714
00:46:49,450 --> 00:46:52,580
But their biggest threat?
A running back. Megget.
715
00:46:52,790 --> 00:46:55,190
- He's good?
- He's fast.
716
00:46:55,390 --> 00:46:57,720
He's really, really fast.
717
00:46:57,930 --> 00:47:01,960
I mean, he's so fast,
he makes fast people look not fast.
718
00:47:02,160 --> 00:47:03,530
I got it, he's fast.
719
00:47:03,730 --> 00:47:06,600
Now, why don't you show us your speed
and get your pyro ass out of here.
720
00:47:07,470 --> 00:47:10,300
Yes, sir. Here I go. I'm sorry.
721
00:47:22,550 --> 00:47:25,750
Any books
you'd recommend, inmate?
722
00:47:27,590 --> 00:47:28,550
No, sir.
723
00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:32,280
Not much of a reader.
724
00:47:32,660 --> 00:47:36,860
Oh, come on, now, maggot.
I've seen you in here reading before.
725
00:47:37,070 --> 00:47:39,340
You requested this detail.
Isn't that right?
726
00:47:43,070 --> 00:47:46,300
No. It's the quiet time I like, sir.
727
00:47:47,240 --> 00:47:48,540
Maybe you'd like to read this.
728
00:47:50,710 --> 00:47:52,870
What the hell kind of bullshit
book is that?
729
00:47:53,080 --> 00:47:55,410
It's historical. Sir.
730
00:47:55,620 --> 00:47:58,180
Now, why would he want to read
a book about a four-eyed nigger?
731
00:48:02,930 --> 00:48:06,830
Does the N word
offend you, nigger?
732
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:09,230
No, sir.
733
00:48:16,440 --> 00:48:18,400
Sorry about that.
734
00:48:18,870 --> 00:48:21,640
You mind fetching
these books for me, boy?
735
00:48:24,550 --> 00:48:25,990
No, sir.
736
00:48:26,180 --> 00:48:28,080
Just pick them up.
Put them on the table.
737
00:48:31,720 --> 00:48:32,910
There you go.
738
00:48:38,560 --> 00:48:40,420
You forgot one.
739
00:48:47,340 --> 00:48:48,810
Bet you'd like to hit us, huh?
740
00:48:50,170 --> 00:48:52,230
Hit you, sir? No.
741
00:48:55,240 --> 00:48:56,470
Y'all my friends.
742
00:49:01,220 --> 00:49:02,710
Pick these up.
743
00:49:23,840 --> 00:49:25,000
Go!
744
00:49:25,910 --> 00:49:27,630
Hit me! I'm open! I'm open!
745
00:49:32,180 --> 00:49:34,580
Come on! We got one week
before we play that game.
746
00:49:34,780 --> 00:49:36,180
We can't complete a pass yet.
747
00:49:36,390 --> 00:49:39,850
- Megget can't run the ball every play.
- I know, coach.
748
00:49:40,460 --> 00:49:42,430
What the hell is he smiling at?
749
00:49:58,310 --> 00:50:00,040
This better be on the up and up.
750
00:50:01,140 --> 00:50:02,200
I guarantee it.
751
00:50:02,710 --> 00:50:04,110
Let's do this shit.
752
00:50:04,310 --> 00:50:05,870
There goes the neighborhood.
753
00:50:11,820 --> 00:50:13,550
Now I'll never get to play.
754
00:50:39,180 --> 00:50:42,740
Did you see that? Did you see that?
The Deac is here!
755
00:50:42,950 --> 00:50:44,080
Nice.
756
00:50:44,520 --> 00:50:46,110
Okay, we seal off here, seal off here.
757
00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:47,790
- Cheeseburger.
- Yeah.
758
00:50:47,990 --> 00:50:49,650
You're just gonna chip this guy...
759
00:51:07,380 --> 00:51:08,350
That stings.
760
00:51:08,540 --> 00:51:11,310
It's nothing a Quarter Pounder
can't fix.
761
00:51:14,020 --> 00:51:15,150
With cheese on it?
762
00:51:15,350 --> 00:51:16,870
Hut!
763
00:51:41,540 --> 00:51:43,800
Man, that boy would catch a cold
in the desert. Here you go.
764
00:51:44,010 --> 00:51:46,600
- Everything's looking up.
- Yeah.
765
00:51:46,820 --> 00:51:49,120
Still got one more
pain in the ass to deal with.
766
00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:01,520
All right, what do you say?
How about a little best ball?
767
00:52:01,730 --> 00:52:04,790
No, I hate that bullshit.
Everyone play their own damn ball.
768
00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:06,830
Holy shit, is that Paul Crewe?
769
00:52:07,040 --> 00:52:10,770
How do you like that, boys?
The MVP coming to kiss my ass.
770
00:52:11,570 --> 00:52:13,730
So, what's on your mind, Paul?
771
00:52:13,940 --> 00:52:15,670
Got a problem with inmate Unger.
772
00:52:16,750 --> 00:52:19,810
- Is he on your little squad?
- I believe he's on your little squad.
773
00:52:20,550 --> 00:52:23,340
Mr. Crewe, would you mind
if we had a picture? Please?
774
00:52:24,190 --> 00:52:25,490
That's up to the warden.
775
00:52:26,120 --> 00:52:28,480
- Damn it. All right.
- Rewound it. Did everything.
776
00:52:28,690 --> 00:52:31,120
- The flash is ready.
- You don't need a flash. It's daylight.
777
00:52:31,330 --> 00:52:33,500
Oh, my bad.
I just want a good picture.
778
00:52:34,030 --> 00:52:37,330
You know, I think you had sex
with my wife before I married her.
779
00:52:38,400 --> 00:52:40,090
- Sorry about that.
- Oh, hell, no.
780
00:52:40,300 --> 00:52:43,500
If she's hot enough to have
a one-nighter with a pro football player,
781
00:52:43,710 --> 00:52:45,510
I must be doing all right.
782
00:52:46,040 --> 00:52:47,510
Okay, here we go.
783
00:52:48,210 --> 00:52:50,400
- Sergeant Engleheart?
- Yes, warden.
784
00:52:50,610 --> 00:52:52,440
Would you step out
of the picture, please?
785
00:52:53,080 --> 00:52:54,170
Yes, sir.
786
00:52:56,720 --> 00:52:59,180
- His wife has got the hottest ass.
- Great.
787
00:52:59,390 --> 00:53:00,680
Just cut to the chase, shall we?
788
00:53:01,320 --> 00:53:04,050
You don't actually think you have
a chance of winning, now, do you?
789
00:53:04,260 --> 00:53:05,920
We're gonna get
our asses handed to us.
790
00:53:06,130 --> 00:53:10,530
I know it. You know it.
I just don't want my players to know it.
791
00:53:10,730 --> 00:53:12,200
Your players?
792
00:53:13,900 --> 00:53:16,530
Just when I thought
I had you all figured out.
793
00:53:16,740 --> 00:53:18,730
- What does that mean?
- In the time you've been here,
794
00:53:18,940 --> 00:53:21,030
you haven't made or received
one telephone call.
795
00:53:21,240 --> 00:53:23,710
You haven't opened so much
as a single shred of mail.
796
00:53:23,910 --> 00:53:26,240
What do you give a damn
about those slimeballs?
797
00:53:26,450 --> 00:53:28,540
You never cared about anybody
in your entire life.
798
00:53:29,080 --> 00:53:31,280
Well, maybe I finally found
that sense of family
799
00:53:31,490 --> 00:53:33,890
I been yearning for since I'm a baby.
800
00:53:34,090 --> 00:53:35,180
And gosh almighty,
801
00:53:35,390 --> 00:53:37,050
my new family and I
would sure appreciate it
802
00:53:37,260 --> 00:53:39,690
if you got Unger off the field.
You hear?
803
00:53:41,300 --> 00:53:42,600
Sergeant Engleheart.
804
00:53:43,100 --> 00:53:44,290
Thank you.
805
00:53:44,870 --> 00:53:46,400
Oh, and as for your request...
806
00:53:48,500 --> 00:53:50,940
...you'll have my answer
soon enough.
807
00:54:03,850 --> 00:54:05,650
Did it rain last night?
808
00:54:05,850 --> 00:54:07,080
Not a drop.
809
00:54:11,960 --> 00:54:13,750
Son of a bitch.
810
00:54:14,130 --> 00:54:15,860
All right, boys.
811
00:54:19,100 --> 00:54:22,190
The warden is trying
to break our spirit.
812
00:54:22,970 --> 00:54:24,940
He thinks we're gonna
skip practice today,
813
00:54:25,140 --> 00:54:27,770
wait for the field to dry,
make it up tomorrow.
814
00:54:27,980 --> 00:54:29,210
You know what? Who gives a shit?
815
00:54:29,410 --> 00:54:32,240
Three days till game time.
We can handle it.
816
00:54:32,450 --> 00:54:34,280
But let me say this:
817
00:54:35,220 --> 00:54:38,790
That old man flooding this field
tells me something.
818
00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:42,350
The guy is scared.
819
00:54:42,560 --> 00:54:47,050
Scared of you sick,
degenerate convicts.
820
00:54:47,260 --> 00:54:48,990
And you know what?
821
00:54:50,470 --> 00:54:51,870
He should be.
822
00:54:52,200 --> 00:54:54,130
Because I got news for you guys.
823
00:54:54,540 --> 00:54:55,740
We're gonna win this thing.
824
00:54:57,240 --> 00:54:58,790
Did he say "win"?
825
00:54:59,340 --> 00:55:01,310
What's it gonna be, boys?
826
00:55:02,540 --> 00:55:05,740
Do we go back to our cells,
call it a day?
827
00:55:06,110 --> 00:55:11,010
Or do we get ourselves ready
for the greatest ass-kicking fiesta
828
00:55:11,220 --> 00:55:13,340
in the history of football?
829
00:55:14,190 --> 00:55:15,980
I'll leave it up to you guys.
830
00:55:36,080 --> 00:55:39,410
Hey. You're part
of the goddamn team.
831
00:55:39,620 --> 00:55:42,250
Get your point-shaving ass in there.
832
00:55:42,890 --> 00:55:44,150
You got it.
833
00:56:30,330 --> 00:56:33,420
I guess that asshole Hazen
wants to play dirty.
834
00:56:33,640 --> 00:56:36,580
- We all convicts, right?
- Right.
835
00:56:36,770 --> 00:56:38,760
Maybe it's time
we started acting like it.
836
00:56:40,580 --> 00:56:41,980
Right here. Right here.
837
00:56:44,010 --> 00:56:45,170
Take it, Deac.
838
00:56:45,380 --> 00:56:48,350
Let's see which guards
have some broken bones.
839
00:57:07,770 --> 00:57:08,730
Yeah!
840
00:57:46,640 --> 00:57:48,000
Shoes, nigga!
841
00:57:58,590 --> 00:58:02,790
Check this out. These be brass
knuckles. They damn near old as me.
842
00:58:02,990 --> 00:58:04,480
Hut!
843
00:58:04,690 --> 00:58:07,660
That's perfect, Cheeseburger!
Never been better.
844
00:58:18,510 --> 00:58:19,540
Good ball. Good ball.
845
00:58:23,450 --> 00:58:24,850
Okay.
846
00:58:27,650 --> 00:58:29,480
- Who we gonna crush?
- The guards!
847
00:58:29,690 --> 00:58:31,560
- Who we gonna kill?
- The guards!
848
00:58:31,750 --> 00:58:33,720
- Who we gonna kiss?
- The guards!
849
00:58:33,920 --> 00:58:34,890
Gotcha.
850
00:58:45,070 --> 00:58:46,560
Lights out!
851
00:58:48,200 --> 00:58:50,000
Good night, ladies.
852
00:58:55,280 --> 00:58:57,950
- Yo, Crewe!
- Yes, Mr. Caretaker.
853
00:58:58,150 --> 00:59:01,490
Check your toilet. There should be
a little surprise in there for you.
854
00:59:01,820 --> 00:59:03,550
You took a shit in my toilet?
855
00:59:03,750 --> 00:59:06,410
No, that's the surprise
I left in Brucie's toilet.
856
00:59:06,620 --> 00:59:08,920
- You got something else.
- All right.
857
00:59:09,760 --> 00:59:11,310
Well, would you look at this.
858
00:59:11,530 --> 00:59:15,400
A bottle of Ketel One
and two glasses?
859
00:59:15,600 --> 00:59:17,040
Now, what would I need two for?
860
00:59:17,230 --> 00:59:19,200
Just shut up
and pour me a drink, bitch.
861
00:59:19,430 --> 00:59:23,890
- Man, who taught you to be so cool?
- My mama.
862
00:59:24,340 --> 00:59:28,470
Now, when I get out of here, I don't
want you to get all Hollywood on us.
863
00:59:28,680 --> 00:59:30,050
I want you to meet her.
864
00:59:30,250 --> 00:59:33,350
Here, look at my girl.
She's your biggest fan.
865
00:59:35,350 --> 00:59:36,970
Your mom's beautiful.
866
00:59:38,050 --> 00:59:40,140
And you, you are ugly.
867
00:59:40,360 --> 00:59:42,490
Thank you. Got it.
868
00:59:43,460 --> 00:59:45,360
Here's to...
869
00:59:46,390 --> 00:59:49,290
...the first friend I've had
in I don't know how long.
870
00:59:49,500 --> 00:59:51,590
Hey, I thought
I was your friend, Paul.
871
00:59:51,800 --> 00:59:55,890
You are, Switowski. Just finish your
coloring book and go back to sleep.
872
00:59:56,100 --> 00:59:57,070
Okay.
873
00:59:57,470 --> 01:00:00,100
And here's to having one of these
with you on the outside,
874
01:00:00,310 --> 01:00:02,640
sometime in the next
three to five years.
875
01:00:04,750 --> 01:00:06,480
- Yo, Crewe.
- Yes, sir.
876
01:00:06,680 --> 01:00:09,110
You being a ex-football player
and all,
877
01:00:09,320 --> 01:00:11,350
I'm sure you got a lot
of hot ass on the outside.
878
01:00:11,550 --> 01:00:14,680
Well, let's not forget I wasn't
the most popular guy out there.
879
01:00:14,890 --> 01:00:15,850
Don't give me that shit.
880
01:00:16,060 --> 01:00:18,120
O.J. Chopped his wife's head off
and still got some ass.
881
01:00:19,060 --> 01:00:20,320
Yeah.
882
01:00:20,630 --> 01:00:23,600
My mama taught me not to kiss
and tell. Now, go to sleep.
883
01:00:23,800 --> 01:00:25,820
All right. I got one more question
to ask you.
884
01:00:26,270 --> 01:00:28,060
Okay. What is it?
885
01:00:30,740 --> 01:00:32,400
Why'd you shave those points?
886
01:00:35,310 --> 01:00:38,440
Didn't you read the papers?
I'm innocent.
887
01:00:38,650 --> 01:00:40,920
Yeah. Ain't we all?
888
01:00:43,520 --> 01:00:45,010
Yo, Crewe, what would you say
889
01:00:45,220 --> 01:00:48,310
if I could get you film
from the guards' games last year?
890
01:00:48,520 --> 01:00:50,820
I would say that's incredible,
but how?
891
01:00:51,630 --> 01:00:53,070
Thanks, gentlemen.
892
01:00:53,260 --> 01:00:56,850
The warden will be done with him
in 15 minutes.
893
01:00:57,770 --> 01:01:00,670
- We can handle him.
- Yes, ma'am.
894
01:01:00,870 --> 01:01:02,660
Then you're gonna, ma'am.
895
01:01:07,210 --> 01:01:08,540
Nice job.
896
01:01:11,250 --> 01:01:14,880
I can't tell you how much this means
to me. Thank you, Lynette.
897
01:01:15,080 --> 01:01:17,450
Now Nate can study
all the guards' formations.
898
01:01:17,650 --> 01:01:20,450
Not so fast, sugar bear.
899
01:01:20,660 --> 01:01:22,690
You gotta earn them.
900
01:01:32,670 --> 01:01:34,270
We only got 15 minutes,
901
01:01:34,470 --> 01:01:38,370
but, sunshine, we're gonna
make them all count.
902
01:01:51,250 --> 01:01:52,980
One more, please?
903
01:02:01,630 --> 01:02:02,860
Let's go.
904
01:02:10,470 --> 01:02:12,530
- Quiet down. Guys.
- Let's go.
905
01:02:12,740 --> 01:02:15,570
Before we watch the guards'
game film from last season,
906
01:02:15,780 --> 01:02:20,240
we have a special presentation
from our very own Mr. Paul Crewe.
907
01:02:22,080 --> 01:02:23,880
What are you talking about?
908
01:02:25,290 --> 01:02:26,780
What's going on?
909
01:02:31,030 --> 01:02:33,400
Now I gotta relive this shit?
910
01:02:49,480 --> 01:02:51,180
Yeah!
911
01:02:54,050 --> 01:02:57,140
You can say this,
my man's a team player!
912
01:02:58,990 --> 01:03:03,120
You know what they say. Once
you go gray, there ain't no other way!
913
01:03:03,490 --> 01:03:06,420
Hey, hey, hey. Brucie! Brucie!
I'm glad you think that's funny,
914
01:03:06,630 --> 01:03:08,680
because I got something pretty funny
to show you guys.
915
01:03:08,900 --> 01:03:11,270
Tony, hit it. You're gonna like this.
916
01:03:18,740 --> 01:03:22,200
- What the hell is this?
- What? It's good. It keeps going.
917
01:03:22,410 --> 01:03:24,530
- Hi.
- Here I am.
918
01:03:24,750 --> 01:03:26,450
Turn this shit off. Turn it off.
919
01:03:27,120 --> 01:03:28,420
No!
920
01:03:33,990 --> 01:03:36,450
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very funny.
Trick photography.
921
01:03:46,000 --> 01:03:47,300
Nothing happened.
Nothing happened.
922
01:03:47,500 --> 01:03:49,360
I was showing a little wrestling move.
That's all.
923
01:03:49,740 --> 01:03:51,170
Knock it off!
924
01:03:51,370 --> 01:03:52,770
Knock it off!
925
01:03:53,310 --> 01:03:55,540
It's time we took a look
at what we came here to see
926
01:03:55,740 --> 01:03:57,680
before the guards come back.
927
01:03:59,110 --> 01:04:02,510
The first film is the guards' offense
against Texas Southern.
928
01:04:02,720 --> 01:04:05,960
Now, as you can see,
they're running a standard wishbone.
929
01:04:12,960 --> 01:04:15,650
So you're telling me that these animals
are watching our game films.
930
01:04:15,860 --> 01:04:17,690
- Is that right?
- Yes, sir, boss.
931
01:04:17,900 --> 01:04:19,360
They got all last season.
932
01:04:20,300 --> 01:04:22,820
Seems to me that we ought to
do something about this.
933
01:04:23,040 --> 01:04:24,700
What do you want me to do?
934
01:04:24,910 --> 01:04:27,070
You're the criminal. Be creative.
935
01:04:27,510 --> 01:04:30,500
But on game day, if I so much as...
936
01:04:33,450 --> 01:04:34,410
What are you doing?
937
01:04:36,080 --> 01:04:39,350
I don't know.
I've had hot flashes all shift,
938
01:04:39,550 --> 01:04:41,850
and now my nipples are killing me.
939
01:04:42,060 --> 01:04:43,690
Why are we talking about
your nipples?
940
01:04:44,160 --> 01:04:46,650
We're not. Just go do
what you're doing there.
941
01:04:46,860 --> 01:04:48,220
Guys.
942
01:04:49,500 --> 01:04:52,440
I want Crewe finished.
943
01:04:52,630 --> 01:04:56,760
Yes, sir. You give me the inspiration,
sir. I got something for him.
944
01:04:57,970 --> 01:04:59,200
Hut!
945
01:05:05,150 --> 01:05:06,590
Everybody!
946
01:05:08,180 --> 01:05:09,410
Huddle up!
947
01:05:13,350 --> 01:05:18,080
Every day we've been taking shit,
for a long time.
948
01:05:18,730 --> 01:05:23,530
Tomorrow, payback.
Now, think about that for a second.
949
01:06:08,510 --> 01:06:10,630
- What time is it?
- Game time!
950
01:06:10,850 --> 01:06:12,480
- What time is it?
- Game time!
951
01:06:12,680 --> 01:06:16,140
- What time is it?
- Game time!
952
01:06:19,450 --> 01:06:23,580
Tomorrow, 12:00, the bus leaves.
Don't be late!
953
01:06:24,730 --> 01:06:26,790
Where the hell is Caretaker?
954
01:06:28,500 --> 01:06:29,730
I don't know.
955
01:06:57,830 --> 01:07:00,390
A gift for you, Mr. Crewe.
956
01:07:02,400 --> 01:07:04,930
How does he listen
to that cracker shit?
957
01:09:33,650 --> 01:09:35,810
We're here deep in the heart
of toothless country,
958
01:09:36,010 --> 01:09:38,610
coming to you from a simple
Texas high school stadium
959
01:09:38,820 --> 01:09:41,050
that's been retrofitted
for the big event.
960
01:09:41,250 --> 01:09:43,620
Now, when my man Travis
tried to drag me out here, I said,
961
01:09:43,820 --> 01:09:46,150
"What are you, brain-dead from
talking to too many Raider fans?
962
01:09:46,360 --> 01:09:47,380
It's not going to work. "
963
01:09:47,590 --> 01:09:50,620
But the fact of the matter is,
this could shape up as an epic day.
964
01:09:50,830 --> 01:09:54,020
Hot-dog vendors, high-powered rifles,
I love the combination.
965
01:09:53,980 --> 01:09:56,480
And apparently so do the fans.
966
01:10:00,050 --> 01:10:01,600
Hey, shitheads! Listen up!
967
01:10:01,820 --> 01:10:03,650
Everybody on their feet
for the warden.
968
01:10:08,090 --> 01:10:10,490
Anthony, wow. You can sit down.
969
01:10:11,530 --> 01:10:13,060
Thank God.
970
01:10:14,830 --> 01:10:17,520
Gentlemen, Texas marshals
have been kind enough
971
01:10:17,730 --> 01:10:21,220
to supply us with a dozen
of their finest sharpshooters.
972
01:10:21,870 --> 01:10:25,170
So for those of you thinking
of mingling with the civilians
973
01:10:25,380 --> 01:10:27,010
or trying to make a break for it,
974
01:10:27,580 --> 01:10:28,980
you will be shot.
975
01:10:30,680 --> 01:10:31,800
In the head.
976
01:10:35,520 --> 01:10:38,680
Now, let's all go out there
and have some fun!
977
01:10:41,620 --> 01:10:44,780
Crewe! I'll see you on the field!
978
01:10:47,300 --> 01:10:48,960
I think he's in love with you.
979
01:10:50,030 --> 01:10:52,020
All right, listen up.
980
01:10:52,240 --> 01:10:56,140
I know it's hard to get psyched for
the game without Caretaker being here.
981
01:10:56,940 --> 01:10:59,530
But somehow that sick,
skinny bastard
982
01:10:59,740 --> 01:11:03,730
found a way to get us all fired up
from beyond the grave.
983
01:11:04,880 --> 01:11:07,350
Caretaker's last gift to us.
984
01:11:07,550 --> 01:11:10,240
Battle, I presume this is yours.
985
01:11:12,020 --> 01:11:14,180
I still don't think that's big enough.
986
01:11:16,360 --> 01:11:19,020
- That's it?
- No, that ain't it.
987
01:11:19,360 --> 01:11:21,830
Caretaker said he'd find us
some gear to wear.
988
01:11:26,070 --> 01:11:28,590
I think he found us a name too.
989
01:11:32,810 --> 01:11:36,110
Mean Machine! Mean Machine!
Mean Machine! Mean Machine!
990
01:11:48,990 --> 01:11:53,430
Good afternoon and welcome to a
very special edition of ESPN football.
991
01:11:53,630 --> 01:11:56,990
As today, the semipro
Allenville Federal Prison guards
992
01:11:57,200 --> 01:11:59,830
will be taking on the very prisoners
they guard.
993
01:12:00,040 --> 01:12:03,480
And with this special game, folks,
comes a special broadcast,
994
01:12:03,670 --> 01:12:06,940
as I'm joined in the booth
by Baby Face Bob.
995
01:12:07,140 --> 01:12:08,870
Say hi to the folks, Bob-O.
996
01:12:10,580 --> 01:12:12,270
Chris, we went to a commercial.
997
01:12:12,480 --> 01:12:15,680
This job, Bob,
it's a lot of give and take.
998
01:12:15,890 --> 01:12:18,690
So when I bring you in,
don't be afraid to talk to the folks.
999
01:12:21,020 --> 01:12:22,990
Unless you don't want to.
1000
01:12:26,400 --> 01:12:27,930
And here come the cons,
1001
01:12:28,130 --> 01:12:32,090
led by former NFL MVP quarterback
Paul Crewe.
1002
01:12:37,340 --> 01:12:39,930
Holy shit. Hey, hey, hey.
1003
01:12:40,140 --> 01:12:41,770
Well, hello. How are you?
1004
01:12:41,980 --> 01:12:43,440
Back away from the girls!
1005
01:12:43,650 --> 01:12:45,780
- Hey, now.
- Call me!
1006
01:12:47,650 --> 01:12:49,440
What the hell
are you dressed up for?
1007
01:12:49,650 --> 01:12:53,210
Hey, I didn't spend 14 years
in the joint just to watch this game.
1008
01:12:53,420 --> 01:12:55,220
And there in the
high-security bleachers
1009
01:12:55,420 --> 01:12:58,790
are the good-behavior cons,
along with their...
1010
01:12:59,000 --> 01:13:00,090
... cheerleaders?
1011
01:13:01,300 --> 01:13:03,330
We're the mean machine
Don't mean to dis you
1012
01:13:03,530 --> 01:13:06,120
We're gonna kick your ass
And then we'll kiss you
1013
01:13:06,540 --> 01:13:09,140
Hey! Ho!
What?
1014
01:13:11,970 --> 01:13:14,240
I didn't do it!
1015
01:13:25,290 --> 01:13:26,340
Come on, Batt!
1016
01:13:41,700 --> 01:13:43,690
- What's that?
- Did you see that?
1017
01:13:47,580 --> 01:13:48,640
Damn it!
1018
01:13:50,010 --> 01:13:53,840
Papajohn's at the 20, the 10.
And he will score.
1019
01:13:57,620 --> 01:13:59,710
Sweet dreams, bitch.
1020
01:14:00,390 --> 01:14:02,010
That's a 90-yard return.
1021
01:14:02,230 --> 01:14:05,930
And I gotta tell you, the cons seem
more interested in hitting the guards
1022
01:14:06,130 --> 01:14:07,850
than tackling the ball carrier.
1023
01:14:08,060 --> 01:14:12,960
Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad.
Thanks for picking me up from school.
1024
01:14:14,140 --> 01:14:16,610
And here comes the big story
of the day.
1025
01:14:16,810 --> 01:14:19,180
Paul Crewe,
serving a three-year sentence,
1026
01:14:19,380 --> 01:14:22,750
hasn't played since he was banned
from the NFL six years ago.
1027
01:14:23,110 --> 01:14:26,080
Center, shift it! Shift it!
1028
01:14:29,850 --> 01:14:31,080
Hey, Sasquatch!
1029
01:14:35,020 --> 01:14:36,110
Twenty, hut!
1030
01:14:36,330 --> 01:14:39,530
Crewe drops back to pass.
Turley's leaving him unprotected.
1031
01:14:40,700 --> 01:14:42,430
Fumble!
1032
01:14:45,400 --> 01:14:46,520
Holy shit!
1033
01:14:48,600 --> 01:14:49,970
Goddamn it.
1034
01:14:50,170 --> 01:14:52,690
That's gonna be a personal foul
on the big guy.
1035
01:14:52,910 --> 01:14:55,700
And this is certainly an inauspicious
start for the cons.
1036
01:14:55,910 --> 01:14:59,210
Come here! All right! You got him.
Now, protect me!
1037
01:14:59,680 --> 01:15:01,940
Let's go! Hold them!
1038
01:15:02,650 --> 01:15:07,020
And here comes Knauer and that
big offensive unit for the guards.
1039
01:15:11,860 --> 01:15:13,020
Eighty-six.
1040
01:15:13,330 --> 01:15:14,820
Back to your cell.
1041
01:15:16,330 --> 01:15:17,660
Hut! Hut!
1042
01:15:22,510 --> 01:15:26,380
Knauer has Potter wide open.
Touchdown, guards.
1043
01:15:27,810 --> 01:15:30,000
- Son of a bitch!
- And in the first 90 seconds,
1044
01:15:30,210 --> 01:15:32,400
the guards are up
by two touchdowns.
1045
01:15:32,620 --> 01:15:35,890
This one looks like
it could be over early.
1046
01:15:36,290 --> 01:15:37,590
Sorry.
1047
01:15:37,790 --> 01:15:40,700
What are we celebrating for?!
It's 14-nothing!
1048
01:15:40,890 --> 01:15:44,350
You guys wanna beat these assholes,
do it on the scoreboard!
1049
01:15:45,060 --> 01:15:48,720
Are you okay? Oh, God,
you're not hurt, are you?
1050
01:15:48,930 --> 01:15:50,620
Jesus, you sound like my mother.
1051
01:15:50,830 --> 01:15:55,430
Listen, if you wanna cry,
you go ahead and cry. I'll cry with you.
1052
01:15:55,640 --> 01:15:58,570
Get off me! Get back out there
and kick some ass!
1053
01:15:58,770 --> 01:16:01,870
Why are you yelling at me?
All I did was care!
1054
01:16:03,550 --> 01:16:07,250
Look! A broken leg will heal.
1055
01:16:07,450 --> 01:16:10,350
A loss to the Mean Machine
lasts forever.
1056
01:16:13,060 --> 01:16:14,030
Sorry, guys.
1057
01:16:14,590 --> 01:16:15,950
Yeah, yeah. Me too.
1058
01:16:17,690 --> 01:16:20,120
All right. Now, let's get started!
1059
01:16:22,500 --> 01:16:25,330
Now, get the hell out there! Let's go!
1060
01:16:38,710 --> 01:16:39,700
Way to go! Way to go!
1061
01:16:39,920 --> 01:16:42,650
There's the first sign of life
from the cons.
1062
01:16:42,850 --> 01:16:46,790
Let's see if Paul "Motley" Crewe
can make something happen.
1063
01:16:46,990 --> 01:16:47,950
Hut!
1064
01:16:48,160 --> 01:16:52,030
On first down, Crewe will throw.
He's got Deacon wide open.
1065
01:16:53,760 --> 01:16:56,060
That's gotta be pass interference.
1066
01:16:56,270 --> 01:16:58,100
But the ref is waving it off.
1067
01:16:58,300 --> 01:17:00,360
- What?!
- Oh, come on!
1068
01:17:00,570 --> 01:17:03,030
Come on, now. I'm in this hellhole
for less than that.
1069
01:17:03,240 --> 01:17:05,930
- Be a man and make a call.
- You're right.
1070
01:17:06,140 --> 01:17:08,700
Unsportsmanlike conduct!
Eighty-eight black!
1071
01:17:08,910 --> 01:17:10,140
What?!
1072
01:17:11,110 --> 01:17:12,240
Come on!
1073
01:17:14,220 --> 01:17:15,850
This is baby-back bullshit!
1074
01:17:16,050 --> 01:17:17,850
- Bullshit, D.
- Calm down. Let it go.
1075
01:17:18,190 --> 01:17:21,100
Let's call that one
a questionable call.
1076
01:17:21,490 --> 01:17:23,010
Blue 42, hut!
1077
01:17:24,890 --> 01:17:28,550
The give is to Megget. He spins
to the outside. Megget has room.
1078
01:17:30,730 --> 01:17:33,260
He's at the 35. The 40.
1079
01:17:34,200 --> 01:17:36,260
He's brought down hard,
by his facemask.
1080
01:17:36,670 --> 01:17:39,800
What? Oh, come on, man!
That was a facemask!
1081
01:17:40,010 --> 01:17:42,130
- You're not gonna call that?
- I saw a clean tackle, sir.
1082
01:17:42,340 --> 01:17:44,280
What you looking at?
Are you serious?
1083
01:17:44,480 --> 01:17:46,640
Tell it to the parole board, criminal.
1084
01:17:47,220 --> 01:17:48,920
I mean, this is absurd.
1085
01:17:49,120 --> 01:17:51,520
We can't win with the refs
on the payroll!
1086
01:17:51,720 --> 01:17:54,740
Listen up. I got an idea
to end all this bullshit.
1087
01:17:54,960 --> 01:17:57,300
Come on, let's all stay up! Come on!
1088
01:17:59,160 --> 01:18:00,590
Down, set!
1089
01:18:00,900 --> 01:18:02,060
Red 58.
1090
01:18:02,260 --> 01:18:03,590
Cover your man!
1091
01:18:04,030 --> 01:18:05,930
Red 58. Hut!
1092
01:18:17,410 --> 01:18:19,900
That one hurt my marble sack.
1093
01:18:22,380 --> 01:18:23,350
All right!
1094
01:18:23,550 --> 01:18:25,350
- You all right?
- Yeah.
1095
01:18:25,550 --> 01:18:27,020
- What down is it?
- Fifth.
1096
01:18:27,220 --> 01:18:29,420
- No, no. It would be fourth down.
- Okay.
1097
01:18:33,500 --> 01:18:36,700
What do you think?
Should I go for the left nut this time?
1098
01:18:37,200 --> 01:18:39,290
Underneath! Let's go!
1099
01:18:39,500 --> 01:18:41,400
Ref, you gotta get in the game!
Right over here!
1100
01:18:41,600 --> 01:18:45,830
Well, I don't quite get this, but on fourth
and 22, the cons are gonna go for it.
1101
01:18:46,040 --> 01:18:47,560
Down, set!
1102
01:18:47,780 --> 01:18:49,250
Red 58.
1103
01:18:49,450 --> 01:18:50,980
Red 58. Hut!
1104
01:19:00,260 --> 01:19:02,790
You gotta always protect
the McNuggets.
1105
01:19:06,260 --> 01:19:09,020
How about from now on, you call
a fair game? How's that sound?
1106
01:19:09,400 --> 01:19:10,380
Sounds good.
1107
01:19:10,600 --> 01:19:12,530
Okay. Wet Willie.
1108
01:19:13,940 --> 01:19:15,310
Yeah, you like that.
1109
01:19:19,510 --> 01:19:21,300
And so the guards will take over
1110
01:19:21,510 --> 01:19:24,970
after one of the strangest
offensive series I've ever seen.
1111
01:19:25,310 --> 01:19:28,370
Okay, boys. We know who doesn't
have any balls out there now.
1112
01:19:28,580 --> 01:19:31,070
Have we got any?
Have we got some balls?
1113
01:19:31,290 --> 01:19:34,820
- Yeah!
- All right! Let's go kick some ass!
1114
01:19:35,260 --> 01:19:37,890
Come on, Swit, stand them up, baby.
1115
01:19:38,090 --> 01:19:41,860
White 50. White 50. Hut, hut, hut!
1116
01:19:42,060 --> 01:19:44,500
Knauer, play action.
Here comes the blitz.
1117
01:19:47,370 --> 01:19:51,100
Switowski is so big, it's like being
tackled by a Coke machine with legs.
1118
01:19:51,640 --> 01:19:53,230
This is fun!
1119
01:19:55,140 --> 01:19:56,770
Nice to see you smiling, Bob.
1120
01:19:57,550 --> 01:19:58,990
Thanks, Chris.
1121
01:20:00,480 --> 01:20:01,970
Green 90! Hut!
1122
01:20:02,320 --> 01:20:04,610
Third and 5,
and the give is to Megget.
1123
01:20:04,820 --> 01:20:07,340
He's to the 40,
where he'll come up short.
1124
01:20:07,590 --> 01:20:10,180
But look at Turley push the pile.
1125
01:20:10,390 --> 01:20:11,690
And now Crewe.
1126
01:20:12,630 --> 01:20:14,350
And that's a first down!
1127
01:20:15,900 --> 01:20:19,190
And look out. Boy, somebody better
take control of this game soon,
1128
01:20:19,400 --> 01:20:21,560
or they're gonna need body bags
on the sidelines.
1129
01:20:21,770 --> 01:20:22,790
Let's go, guys.
1130
01:20:23,010 --> 01:20:24,140
Start of the second quarter.
1131
01:20:24,340 --> 01:20:27,360
Cons still down by two touchdowns,
but they finally have some momentum.
1132
01:20:27,580 --> 01:20:28,950
Hut!
1133
01:20:31,380 --> 01:20:33,570
Crewe with a shovel pass to Megget.
1134
01:20:34,380 --> 01:20:36,610
And Megget scrambles
for a first down.
1135
01:20:37,420 --> 01:20:38,780
Oh, you fooled me.
1136
01:20:38,990 --> 01:20:40,890
- I got you there, didn't I?
- You did.
1137
01:20:41,090 --> 01:20:43,610
You know, Engleheart, you are
the best-looking guy on your team.
1138
01:20:43,830 --> 01:20:48,360
You know, Paul, in the midst of all this,
for you to say something like that is...
1139
01:20:49,270 --> 01:20:50,640
Come on, let's go. Let's go, D.
1140
01:20:50,830 --> 01:20:52,960
First and 10 at the guards' 35.
1141
01:20:53,170 --> 01:20:56,070
Crewe dumps it over the middle
to Deacon Moss.
1142
01:20:56,340 --> 01:21:01,470
And he's hammered at the 17 for a
13-yard pickup, and that's a first down.
1143
01:21:02,080 --> 01:21:03,810
- Hut!
- Crewe, trying to get his team
1144
01:21:04,010 --> 01:21:05,480
on the scoreboard.
1145
01:21:06,180 --> 01:21:07,740
He will throw.
1146
01:21:09,890 --> 01:21:12,790
And it's caught by Deacon Moss
for a touchdown!
1147
01:21:14,120 --> 01:21:15,090
All right!
1148
01:21:15,290 --> 01:21:19,280
And so there'll be no shutout today,
as the cons are on the board.
1149
01:21:19,860 --> 01:21:23,120
Quit booing, people.
Both teams are trying very hard!
1150
01:21:23,570 --> 01:21:26,840
What the hell's wrong with you?
Stop acting like a damn cheerleader!
1151
01:21:27,040 --> 01:21:29,170
- Sportsmanship, try it.
- Shut up.
1152
01:21:32,740 --> 01:21:34,170
Damn.
1153
01:21:34,380 --> 01:21:37,550
2:11 left in the first half.
And Dunham is back in at fullback.
1154
01:21:37,750 --> 01:21:40,620
And he is a load, at 6'2", 260.
1155
01:21:43,090 --> 01:21:45,120
Dunham, breaking tackles.
1156
01:21:45,320 --> 01:21:47,050
He refuses to go down.
1157
01:21:47,720 --> 01:21:51,520
But he finally does
after a 15-yard gain.
1158
01:21:53,060 --> 01:21:55,220
That's how a white man
runs a football.
1159
01:21:55,430 --> 01:21:58,230
If I was on D, I'd crack you square
in that egg-ass head of yours.
1160
01:21:58,430 --> 01:22:01,230
Yeah, but you ain't on D.
Are you, bitch?
1161
01:22:02,740 --> 01:22:05,030
Switowski! Come here.
1162
01:22:05,540 --> 01:22:07,670
Do you know what
he said to me in the library?
1163
01:22:11,450 --> 01:22:14,180
Yes. Him. Out.
1164
01:22:17,650 --> 01:22:20,620
D, D, defense
D, D, defense
1165
01:22:20,820 --> 01:22:23,020
The cons don't seem to have
an answer for Dunham,
1166
01:22:23,230 --> 01:22:26,790
who's averaging close to 12 yards
a carry this half.
1167
01:22:28,430 --> 01:22:29,550
Green 67.
1168
01:22:29,770 --> 01:22:31,640
Green 67. Hut!
1169
01:22:35,540 --> 01:22:38,780
Oh, what a hit on Dunham
by Switowski.
1170
01:22:41,380 --> 01:22:43,750
I think I made him shit himself.
1171
01:22:44,010 --> 01:22:46,070
- Shit!
- I think he just shit himself.
1172
01:22:46,480 --> 01:22:48,670
I think he just shit himself.
1173
01:22:48,880 --> 01:22:52,410
Good Lord.
This guy shit himself bigtime.
1174
01:22:52,620 --> 01:22:55,950
See? I told you
I made him shit himself!
1175
01:22:56,730 --> 01:22:59,600
Yo! I'll make sure I send
them books to the hospital, pimp.
1176
01:22:59,800 --> 01:23:01,460
And some diapers.
1177
01:23:03,100 --> 01:23:05,830
Nineteen seconds.
We got a lot of ground to cover.
1178
01:23:06,030 --> 01:23:08,360
So you bastards remember
that play we practiced in the mud?
1179
01:23:08,570 --> 01:23:11,400
What are you talking about?
That was some schoolyard bullshit.
1180
01:23:11,610 --> 01:23:14,610
Yeah. Let's try some
schoolyard bullshit.
1181
01:23:16,510 --> 01:23:17,910
Come on, D, let's go.
1182
01:23:18,110 --> 01:23:21,010
Down, set! Green 88.
1183
01:23:21,350 --> 01:23:22,680
Green 88. Hut!
1184
01:23:22,890 --> 01:23:27,630
The clock starts to run. Crewe hands
the ball to Megget. It's a reverse.
1185
01:23:27,920 --> 01:23:29,980
Cheeseburger Eddy's got it.
1186
01:23:30,190 --> 01:23:31,880
Go, baby, go!
1187
01:23:32,490 --> 01:23:34,480
He laterals to Deacon.
1188
01:23:35,700 --> 01:23:37,070
Tackle him!
1189
01:23:38,330 --> 01:23:39,520
To Turley.
1190
01:23:39,740 --> 01:23:42,400
The clock is running. To Brucie.
1191
01:23:42,600 --> 01:23:44,630
Shades of Cal-Stanford.
1192
01:23:44,840 --> 01:23:46,330
Back to Crewe.
1193
01:23:47,080 --> 01:23:48,810
He tosses to Megget.
1194
01:23:49,010 --> 01:23:50,030
Tackle him!
1195
01:23:53,920 --> 01:23:56,760
And look at that little Megget run.
1196
01:23:56,950 --> 01:23:58,680
Three seconds left.
1197
01:23:59,960 --> 01:24:00,990
Yeah! Go!
1198
01:24:02,090 --> 01:24:07,250
He could go all the way. Touchdown!
1199
01:24:12,840 --> 01:24:13,970
Did you see that?!
1200
01:24:14,170 --> 01:24:15,530
Do that sound again.
1201
01:24:17,540 --> 01:24:18,830
I like that.
1202
01:24:21,910 --> 01:24:24,210
And so, on a miraculous play,
1203
01:24:24,410 --> 01:24:28,350
the cons end the first half
with the score: 14-all.
1204
01:24:33,390 --> 01:24:35,110
Bring it in.
1205
01:24:35,860 --> 01:24:39,190
Do you have any idea
who's beating you out there?
1206
01:24:39,390 --> 01:24:41,550
This was supposed to be a blowout,
1207
01:24:41,760 --> 01:24:45,220
and they're showing you up
in front of the whole nation.
1208
01:24:46,300 --> 01:24:47,930
The whole nation!
1209
01:24:48,340 --> 01:24:50,540
I like it when he's angry.
1210
01:24:52,810 --> 01:24:55,470
- I told you!
- Way to go, baby, way to go.
1211
01:25:01,850 --> 01:25:04,710
What in the hell do you think
you're doing out there?
1212
01:25:04,920 --> 01:25:06,540
Playing football, sir.
1213
01:25:08,260 --> 01:25:10,100
I didn't say nothing about winning.
1214
01:25:10,430 --> 01:25:12,660
We're not winning. Not yet.
1215
01:25:15,760 --> 01:25:18,230
You got yourself in quite
a predicament, Mr. Crewe.
1216
01:25:18,430 --> 01:25:20,900
- Is that right?
- See, it's just come to my attention
1217
01:25:21,100 --> 01:25:23,160
that inmate Unger
has been taken into custody
1218
01:25:23,370 --> 01:25:24,840
for the murder of Caretaker.
1219
01:25:25,040 --> 01:25:27,400
- Good.
- Oh, yeah, it's good.
1220
01:25:27,880 --> 01:25:31,250
Only thing is, he claims
to have an accomplice.
1221
01:25:31,680 --> 01:25:33,440
Claims you knew all about it.
1222
01:25:33,650 --> 01:25:36,840
Hell, he even says
you sent Caretaker to your cell.
1223
01:25:37,990 --> 01:25:39,220
Bullshit.
1224
01:25:39,420 --> 01:25:42,620
Captain Knauer says
he saw you planning it with Unger.
1225
01:25:44,030 --> 01:25:45,730
There's no way
that could hold up in court.
1226
01:25:45,930 --> 01:25:46,910
Court?
1227
01:25:48,800 --> 01:25:53,170
Hell, boy, in Allenville,
I'm the judge, I'm the jury,
1228
01:25:53,370 --> 01:25:57,530
and in your particular case,
I'm the executioner.
1229
01:25:58,410 --> 01:25:59,440
What do you want?
1230
01:25:59,980 --> 01:26:01,610
I want you to lose.
1231
01:26:01,810 --> 01:26:02,970
I can't do that.
1232
01:26:03,180 --> 01:26:06,170
Of course you can. After all,
you've had plenty of practice.
1233
01:26:06,380 --> 01:26:09,810
But the men. It's more important
to them than it is to you.
1234
01:26:11,050 --> 01:26:13,110
Okay. Suit yourself.
1235
01:26:13,490 --> 01:26:16,920
Spend the next 25 years
of your useless life in prison.
1236
01:26:19,160 --> 01:26:20,890
All right, I'll do it.
1237
01:26:24,900 --> 01:26:28,730
But I don't want my guys hurt.
You get ahead, you coast. We clear?
1238
01:26:28,940 --> 01:26:31,640
Fine. Right after I get
a two-touchdown lead.
1239
01:26:33,210 --> 01:26:35,970
I tell you what bothers me
the most, warden.
1240
01:26:38,150 --> 01:26:40,920
That you're not gonna be
out there on that field with us,
1241
01:26:41,120 --> 01:26:42,950
getting what you got coming to you.
1242
01:26:46,050 --> 01:26:48,880
The only thing coming to me
is victory.
1243
01:26:51,060 --> 01:26:52,490
Mean Machine.
1244
01:26:54,100 --> 01:26:55,330
It's cute.
1245
01:26:58,500 --> 01:27:00,230
- Let's go, boy!
- We can do it, baby!
1246
01:27:00,440 --> 01:27:01,930
Captain.
1247
01:27:02,870 --> 01:27:04,270
May I have a word?
1248
01:27:04,470 --> 01:27:06,960
Don't worry, warden,
we'll take care of business.
1249
01:27:07,180 --> 01:27:08,310
I already have.
1250
01:27:08,740 --> 01:27:11,370
What? We can win this on our own.
1251
01:27:11,580 --> 01:27:15,640
Captain, a man in my position
doesn't leave things to chance.
1252
01:27:16,390 --> 01:27:19,520
Now, after you get a comfortable
three-touchdown lead,
1253
01:27:19,720 --> 01:27:22,550
I want you to inflict as much pain
as humanly possible.
1254
01:27:22,760 --> 01:27:24,950
Do not let up, you hear?
1255
01:27:25,330 --> 01:27:28,240
I want those cons to understand
who owns them.
1256
01:27:29,100 --> 01:27:30,400
Do I make myself clear?
1257
01:27:30,600 --> 01:27:31,890
Oh, yes, sir.
1258
01:27:32,700 --> 01:27:33,670
Good.
1259
01:27:34,570 --> 01:27:38,060
There's the kickoff, and we're
under way in the second half.
1260
01:27:43,810 --> 01:27:46,900
Megget is finally brought down
at the guards' 33,
1261
01:27:47,120 --> 01:27:48,710
where Paul Crewe will take over.
1262
01:27:48,920 --> 01:27:50,720
And what a first half he's had.
1263
01:27:50,920 --> 01:27:52,180
Here we go! Here we go!
1264
01:27:55,360 --> 01:27:56,660
Down, set!
1265
01:27:57,430 --> 01:27:59,560
Y 45. Hut!
1266
01:28:00,460 --> 01:28:02,930
On first and 10, Crewe will pass.
1267
01:28:03,130 --> 01:28:04,820
- He's got Deacon wide open.
- Come on.
1268
01:28:05,030 --> 01:28:06,190
Oh, incomplete.
1269
01:28:06,400 --> 01:28:07,490
It's okay. Get your head up.
1270
01:28:08,070 --> 01:28:09,030
It's all right, man.
1271
01:28:11,040 --> 01:28:12,260
Come on, Paulie.
1272
01:28:12,470 --> 01:28:15,740
Second and 10 from the 33. Crewe's
looking for Deacon once again.
1273
01:28:15,940 --> 01:28:18,100
- He's open!
- He's open!
1274
01:28:18,780 --> 01:28:22,680
But overthrows it.
And it's picked off by Papajohn.
1275
01:28:22,880 --> 01:28:24,410
Look out! He might go.
1276
01:28:26,020 --> 01:28:27,680
Say goodbye.
1277
01:28:28,460 --> 01:28:29,450
Touchdown!
1278
01:28:31,530 --> 01:28:35,090
The first mistake
Crewe's made all day.
1279
01:28:38,130 --> 01:28:41,860
Short memory, baby.
We'll get it back. We'll get it back.
1280
01:28:42,070 --> 01:28:43,690
Defense, let's do this!
1281
01:28:44,910 --> 01:28:46,510
8:38 left in the third quarter,
1282
01:28:46,710 --> 01:28:48,700
and Crewe has struggled
thus far in the second half.
1283
01:28:48,910 --> 01:28:50,340
Hut!
1284
01:28:50,550 --> 01:28:53,990
The pitch to Megget.
Oh, my! That ball is live!
1285
01:28:55,020 --> 01:28:56,620
It's picked up by Lambert.
1286
01:28:56,820 --> 01:29:00,080
He's at the 15, the 10,
and he will score!
1287
01:29:01,790 --> 01:29:03,550
Yeah! Touchdown! Yeah!
1288
01:29:03,760 --> 01:29:07,950
Crewe took a shot on that play
and he's getting up slowly.
1289
01:29:08,160 --> 01:29:11,600
Meanwhile, in the end zone, the guards
have something to celebrate,
1290
01:29:11,800 --> 01:29:14,290
as they find themselves up
by two touchdowns.
1291
01:29:14,500 --> 01:29:18,060
This is simply a different Paul Crewe
we're seeing here in the second half.
1292
01:29:18,270 --> 01:29:20,760
There's the old Paul Crewe
we love to write about.
1293
01:29:20,980 --> 01:29:22,710
What the hell are you
doing out there?
1294
01:29:22,910 --> 01:29:24,400
I'm done.
1295
01:29:25,710 --> 01:29:27,180
I'm out. That's it.
1296
01:29:29,580 --> 01:29:31,340
- Where you hurting?
- My knee.
1297
01:29:31,550 --> 01:29:33,580
- Seems okay to me.
- Well, it ain't.
1298
01:29:36,260 --> 01:29:40,090
If Crewe can't go, I don't know how
deep these guys are at quarterback.
1299
01:29:42,160 --> 01:29:45,600
The guards will try to keep it away
from Megget, so they'll pooch kick.
1300
01:29:45,800 --> 01:29:47,060
Fair catch. Fair catch.
1301
01:29:47,270 --> 01:29:49,860
As Big Tony calls for the fair catch.
1302
01:29:50,340 --> 01:29:54,000
Watch out. That was as late a hit
as I've ever seen.
1303
01:29:55,780 --> 01:29:59,580
And even some of the home crowd
not liking that one.
1304
01:29:59,780 --> 01:30:00,840
Hang in there, partner.
1305
01:30:01,050 --> 01:30:05,040
Can of corn. Can of corn,
and I'll be fine. Can of corn.
1306
01:30:08,160 --> 01:30:10,360
Yeah, I'd have a hard time
looking at me too.
1307
01:30:10,930 --> 01:30:12,060
Brucie.
1308
01:30:12,260 --> 01:30:13,350
Yeah, coach.
1309
01:30:13,560 --> 01:30:17,020
You're the only one that knows
this offense, son. Now, do it.
1310
01:30:17,230 --> 01:30:19,600
Coming into the game,
replacing the injured Paul Crewe,
1311
01:30:19,800 --> 01:30:21,130
is number 1, Brucie.
1312
01:30:21,340 --> 01:30:23,170
All right, all right.
Crewe's playing like shit.
1313
01:30:23,370 --> 01:30:25,460
That's his problem.
I'm gonna bring us back.
1314
01:30:25,670 --> 01:30:28,040
Right, 32 Flex Dive Motion
on one. Ready!
1315
01:30:28,240 --> 01:30:29,210
Break!
1316
01:30:29,410 --> 01:30:32,000
Yeah. It's Brucie's
time to shine, baby.
1317
01:30:32,580 --> 01:30:35,070
Okay. Down, set. Hut!
1318
01:30:35,280 --> 01:30:39,180
There's the snap and the ball is
fumbled. And the guards recover.
1319
01:30:39,390 --> 01:30:41,090
I knew I shouldn't
have had that popcorn.
1320
01:30:42,260 --> 01:30:46,030
The guards are in command here
as we move late into the third quarter.
1321
01:30:46,230 --> 01:30:47,590
Ninety-eight. Hut! Hut!
1322
01:30:48,600 --> 01:30:51,630
The give is to Potter.
Back to Knauer.
1323
01:30:51,830 --> 01:30:54,090
He's got a man open
deep downfield.
1324
01:30:54,300 --> 01:30:56,230
He'll throw the flea-flicker!
1325
01:30:56,440 --> 01:30:59,100
And he's got it. Touchdown, guards.
1326
01:30:59,310 --> 01:31:02,370
And this game is starting
to look like a blowout.
1327
01:31:04,450 --> 01:31:08,550
Hey, man, after all Caretaker did,
this is how you show him love?
1328
01:31:08,750 --> 01:31:10,110
Don't worry about it.
1329
01:31:10,320 --> 01:31:12,580
You haven't changed one damn bit.
1330
01:31:17,060 --> 01:31:18,780
All right. Down, set!
1331
01:31:18,990 --> 01:31:20,220
Back in at quarterback is Brucie,
1332
01:31:20,430 --> 01:31:23,260
who will try to find a handle
on the ball this time.
1333
01:31:24,430 --> 01:31:25,690
Throw it, Brucie!
1334
01:31:26,230 --> 01:31:27,700
Oh, shit!
1335
01:31:28,040 --> 01:31:29,440
And look out.
1336
01:31:33,480 --> 01:31:35,540
What a shot he took!
1337
01:31:35,840 --> 01:31:37,210
How much more blood do you want?
1338
01:31:40,380 --> 01:31:44,080
I think the cons are just about
out of options at quarterback.
1339
01:32:03,470 --> 01:32:05,600
Hey, Skitchy,
let me ask you something.
1340
01:32:06,510 --> 01:32:09,410
When you popped the warden,
was it worth it?
1341
01:32:09,610 --> 01:32:11,740
Was it worth spending
the rest of your life in here?
1342
01:32:12,450 --> 01:32:16,290
Was it worth it? It was worth
every goddamn second.
1343
01:32:24,260 --> 01:32:26,050
What the hell is he doing?
1344
01:32:28,960 --> 01:32:32,590
Paul Crewe must be feeling better,
because here he comes.
1345
01:32:32,800 --> 01:32:35,160
All right, I missed you guys,
so I'm back.
1346
01:32:35,370 --> 01:32:37,630
We got a lot of work to do.
Let's get it going.
1347
01:32:37,840 --> 01:32:40,430
Deuce right, 89. Fly on two. Ready?
1348
01:32:42,780 --> 01:32:43,840
Break.
1349
01:32:45,410 --> 01:32:48,440
As we start the fourth quarter,
cons down by three touchdowns.
1350
01:32:48,650 --> 01:32:49,940
Wide left! Tight left!
1351
01:32:51,690 --> 01:32:53,720
Black 90. Hut! Hut!
1352
01:32:53,920 --> 01:32:56,480
Here comes the blitz,
and no one's blocking!
1353
01:32:56,690 --> 01:32:59,680
And Crewe will be sacked
for a big loss.
1354
01:33:00,360 --> 01:33:04,390
That looked like a message to Crewe
from his offensive line.
1355
01:33:06,070 --> 01:33:07,800
Did you see that, man?
They're quitting on him.
1356
01:33:08,000 --> 01:33:09,990
Okay, baby. Jailbreak Blitz. Ready?
1357
01:33:10,340 --> 01:33:12,460
We got that out of the way.
I deserved it.
1358
01:33:12,670 --> 01:33:15,040
- Now we gotta play some football.
- Switch it! Switch it!
1359
01:33:15,240 --> 01:33:17,330
Cons need to do something
to get back in this game.
1360
01:33:17,550 --> 01:33:19,380
And that's not it!
1361
01:33:20,180 --> 01:33:22,170
And Crewe is leveled!
1362
01:33:22,380 --> 01:33:24,680
I don't think he's gonna get up
from that one.
1363
01:33:24,890 --> 01:33:26,360
Nice hit!
1364
01:33:28,260 --> 01:33:30,860
But he is. And I don't know how,
after that last hit.
1365
01:33:31,060 --> 01:33:32,180
All right, punt team!
1366
01:33:32,390 --> 01:33:34,760
Keep them off the field!
We're going for it.
1367
01:33:34,960 --> 01:33:36,830
Dumbshits are going for it!
Let's go! Let's go!
1368
01:33:37,200 --> 01:33:40,130
Come on back, if he wants to get
his ass kicked. Come on back.
1369
01:33:40,340 --> 01:33:41,600
This is unbelievable.
1370
01:33:41,800 --> 01:33:45,960
Fine. You guys don't wanna help me,
I'll do it on my own. On two.
1371
01:33:46,980 --> 01:33:48,210
Let's go, to the line.
1372
01:33:48,410 --> 01:33:49,740
On fourth and 20,
1373
01:33:49,940 --> 01:33:52,740
the cons are gonna go for it.
This could be the ball game right here.
1374
01:33:52,950 --> 01:33:55,010
Red 98. Hut! Hut!
1375
01:33:56,620 --> 01:34:00,310
Crewe dodges the blitz,
but he loses his helmet.
1376
01:34:03,790 --> 01:34:05,310
And he's not going down.
1377
01:34:10,930 --> 01:34:13,190
He's got the first down.
1378
01:34:13,400 --> 01:34:14,630
Time-out!
1379
01:34:15,340 --> 01:34:17,000
- Man, oh, man.
- Not bad.
1380
01:34:24,580 --> 01:34:25,800
Huddle up.
1381
01:34:26,920 --> 01:34:27,910
Look.
1382
01:34:29,020 --> 01:34:32,480
I'm sure you already know this,
but I never said it out loud.
1383
01:34:33,960 --> 01:34:35,730
I did throw that game.
1384
01:34:37,160 --> 01:34:38,450
I did it.
1385
01:34:39,290 --> 01:34:42,120
I was in a bad way
with some worse people.
1386
01:34:42,960 --> 01:34:44,290
After I did it,
1387
01:34:44,500 --> 01:34:48,520
I felt so shitty I wish I would have
just let them kill me instead.
1388
01:34:49,200 --> 01:34:53,570
Now the warden wants to pin
Caretaker's murder on me
1389
01:34:53,780 --> 01:34:55,720
if I don't throw this game.
1390
01:34:57,550 --> 01:35:00,020
So it looks like I'm gonna get
to know you guys a lot better,
1391
01:35:00,220 --> 01:35:02,850
because I ain't doing that
twice in a lifetime.
1392
01:35:03,050 --> 01:35:06,250
We got a little time left.
We can still do this.
1393
01:35:06,450 --> 01:35:09,550
I'm begging you.
Put your hands in here.
1394
01:35:19,300 --> 01:35:22,360
Okay. Thank you. Now, who are we?
1395
01:35:22,570 --> 01:35:23,590
Mean Machine!
1396
01:35:23,810 --> 01:35:26,180
Come on, Mean Machine, let's go!
1397
01:35:29,510 --> 01:35:30,770
That's great news.
1398
01:35:30,980 --> 01:35:33,740
All right. We got ourselves a game.
1399
01:35:33,950 --> 01:35:35,540
Brown 65. Hut!
1400
01:35:35,750 --> 01:35:39,810
First and 10 from the 30.
Crewe finds Deacon open in the flat.
1401
01:35:41,920 --> 01:35:42,890
Hut!
1402
01:35:44,590 --> 01:35:47,460
The give is to Megget. And he fights
his way for a 9-yard gain.
1403
01:35:47,660 --> 01:35:49,350
One yard, baby. One more yard.
1404
01:35:50,770 --> 01:35:51,800
Hut! Hut!
1405
01:35:52,000 --> 01:35:53,990
Crewe tries a sneak. Or is it?
1406
01:35:54,200 --> 01:35:55,670
He flips it back to Megget.
1407
01:35:56,170 --> 01:35:59,190
Megget's got the first down
and more.
1408
01:36:06,580 --> 01:36:10,540
And Megget is down to the 4-yard
line, where it'll be first and goal.
1409
01:36:10,750 --> 01:36:11,840
Hut!
1410
01:36:12,890 --> 01:36:16,520
Crewe hands it to Turley.
And look at the big man go.
1411
01:36:16,720 --> 01:36:17,950
Tackle him!
1412
01:36:23,700 --> 01:36:24,750
Touchdown!
1413
01:36:25,870 --> 01:36:30,110
That was some rumbling, bumbling
stumbling right there.
1414
01:36:30,310 --> 01:36:32,080
And listen to the crowd
1415
01:36:32,270 --> 01:36:35,930
as this underdog con team
is starting to win them over.
1416
01:36:44,020 --> 01:36:47,610
Third down and 6. Guards have
the ball on their own 29-yard line.
1417
01:36:47,820 --> 01:36:50,290
Knauer needs a first down
to put this game away.
1418
01:36:50,490 --> 01:36:51,960
White 50!
1419
01:36:52,560 --> 01:36:53,620
White 50!
1420
01:36:53,830 --> 01:36:55,990
And look at Battle take off.
1421
01:36:57,400 --> 01:36:58,860
He knocks the ball loose!
1422
01:37:00,130 --> 01:37:04,690
There's a dogpile in the backfield.
The refs are trying to sort it out.
1423
01:37:07,410 --> 01:37:09,030
My arm!
1424
01:37:09,910 --> 01:37:12,000
The cons recover!
1425
01:37:12,650 --> 01:37:15,490
We got the ball! We got the ball!
We got it! We got it!
1426
01:37:16,280 --> 01:37:20,720
With just over two minutes left to be
played, this has turned into a game.
1427
01:37:21,090 --> 01:37:24,820
Crewe will start in great field position
at the guards' 25.
1428
01:37:25,030 --> 01:37:28,630
And look at this formation.
The guards, they're confused.
1429
01:37:28,830 --> 01:37:29,890
Shift over! Move!
1430
01:37:30,100 --> 01:37:32,360
They're trying to call time-out,
but there's the snap.
1431
01:37:36,240 --> 01:37:39,770
Moss is behind a wall of cons. I
wouldn't wanna be in front of that thing.
1432
01:37:43,010 --> 01:37:44,410
And they'll score!
1433
01:37:49,580 --> 01:37:52,180
- Hey! Is that legal?
- Yeah, it is.
1434
01:37:52,390 --> 01:37:54,230
- Is that a touchdown?
- Yes, it is.
1435
01:37:54,420 --> 01:37:57,290
What is going on here? Shit!
1436
01:37:57,790 --> 01:38:00,990
And with the extra point,
the cons are down by just seven.
1437
01:38:08,470 --> 01:38:10,760
- Brucie!
- Yeah. Yeah, coach.
1438
01:38:11,310 --> 01:38:13,340
I want you to go out there
and kick off.
1439
01:38:13,540 --> 01:38:15,440
- I can do it.
- Kick off!
1440
01:38:15,880 --> 01:38:17,680
Brucie can't kick worth a shit.
1441
01:38:17,880 --> 01:38:20,670
I know. Recover the ball.
1442
01:38:21,080 --> 01:38:23,950
Jesus Christ, my savior.
If you help me out with this one,
1443
01:38:24,150 --> 01:38:27,640
I promise to stop cheating on my wife
with black guys. Amen.
1444
01:38:27,860 --> 01:38:30,020
Back in the game is Brucie,
and he'll do the honors.
1445
01:38:30,220 --> 01:38:31,810
And it's a horrible kick.
1446
01:38:32,030 --> 01:38:33,520
But the ball is tipped!
1447
01:38:34,430 --> 01:38:36,950
And the cons have come up with it!
1448
01:38:38,200 --> 01:38:40,660
- We got it! One time-out.
- Got it. Got it.
1449
01:38:40,870 --> 01:38:44,300
That's it, Brucie. Hey, hey!
My bad. My bad. My bad. Come on.
1450
01:38:45,710 --> 01:38:47,200
Give me that.
1451
01:38:48,180 --> 01:38:49,240
Damn...
1452
01:38:50,750 --> 01:38:53,020
Well, that felt unnecessary.
1453
01:38:53,210 --> 01:38:55,980
Cons have enough time
for one final drive.
1454
01:38:57,090 --> 01:38:59,390
Crewe drops back to pass.
He's under pressure.
1455
01:38:59,620 --> 01:39:02,210
- Watch the pass!
- He's looking for Deacon.
1456
01:39:02,420 --> 01:39:04,150
He gets the ball up, but he's leveled.
1457
01:39:05,160 --> 01:39:07,950
And Deacon's got it for a first down,
but he stayed inbounds.
1458
01:39:08,160 --> 01:39:10,090
Tick, tick, tick.
The clock keeps running.
1459
01:39:10,300 --> 01:39:13,290
Clock's running. Clock's still running!
Clock's still running!
1460
01:39:13,500 --> 01:39:14,490
On the ball!
1461
01:39:14,700 --> 01:39:16,690
Goddamn it! Do something!
1462
01:39:16,900 --> 01:39:17,930
Hut!
1463
01:39:18,770 --> 01:39:21,970
Crewe. He's looking to throw.
Under pressure again.
1464
01:39:22,180 --> 01:39:24,650
Go! Get rid of it! Go! Go!
1465
01:39:24,850 --> 01:39:27,050
He pitches it to Megget.
He's got some room.
1466
01:39:27,250 --> 01:39:29,870
Here we go. Here we go.
Go, Megg! Go, Megget!
1467
01:39:30,390 --> 01:39:32,920
- Go, Megget!
- Get him!
1468
01:39:33,120 --> 01:39:35,520
He could go all the way!
1469
01:39:35,720 --> 01:39:36,950
But he won't!
1470
01:39:37,160 --> 01:39:38,250
Goddamn it!
1471
01:39:38,460 --> 01:39:40,890
And Megget is hit hard
at the 4, and he's hurt.
1472
01:39:41,100 --> 01:39:42,470
My knee, man!
1473
01:39:44,800 --> 01:39:47,630
You busted your knee for us,
we'll bust our ass for you.
1474
01:39:47,840 --> 01:39:49,640
Hey, coach, I need a back!
1475
01:39:49,840 --> 01:39:51,140
Just win this shit.
1476
01:39:53,170 --> 01:39:54,500
I'm going in.
1477
01:39:54,710 --> 01:39:56,300
Coach, you serious?
1478
01:39:56,510 --> 01:39:58,070
Yeah, I'm serious.
1479
01:39:58,350 --> 01:40:00,840
And look who's
coming into the game.
1480
01:40:01,450 --> 01:40:03,140
You can do it!
1481
01:40:03,350 --> 01:40:06,550
Get that old ass of yours
in the end zone!
1482
01:40:06,750 --> 01:40:09,240
We gotta win this thing! Come on!
1483
01:40:11,030 --> 01:40:13,800
No, no, no. Hey, old man.
1484
01:40:14,000 --> 01:40:15,990
Absolutely not.
You're gonna get killed out here.
1485
01:40:16,200 --> 01:40:19,170
They've been trying that for years.
Don't worry, I got the perfect play.
1486
01:40:19,370 --> 01:40:21,600
- I ain't handing you the ball.
- You don't have to.
1487
01:40:21,800 --> 01:40:25,240
Nate Scarborough, the former
Heisman Trophy winner from 1955,
1488
01:40:25,440 --> 01:40:26,630
is gonna play tailback,
1489
01:40:26,840 --> 01:40:29,400
but he's gotta be in there more
for moral support than anything.
1490
01:40:29,610 --> 01:40:32,410
Mean Machine. Mean Machine.
1491
01:40:32,610 --> 01:40:35,370
Mean Machine. Mean Machine.
1492
01:40:35,580 --> 01:40:39,910
Mean Machine, Mean Machine
Mean Machine
1493
01:40:40,120 --> 01:40:41,480
Mean Machine!
1494
01:40:41,690 --> 01:40:42,780
Mean Machine!
1495
01:40:43,830 --> 01:40:46,490
Six seconds left on the clock.
Cons down by seven.
1496
01:40:46,690 --> 01:40:48,680
They must score on this play.
1497
01:40:51,170 --> 01:40:52,430
Don't let them through!
1498
01:40:54,440 --> 01:40:55,810
Down, set!
1499
01:40:56,340 --> 01:40:58,970
- Black 99!
- Come on, D!
1500
01:40:59,170 --> 01:41:00,650
Black 99! Hut! Hut!
1501
01:41:00,690 --> 01:41:02,140
Black 99! Hut! Hut!
1502
01:41:02,740 --> 01:41:04,540
The give is to the big man, Turley.
1503
01:41:05,080 --> 01:41:08,530
He's stopped by Lambert
at the line for no gain.
1504
01:41:09,180 --> 01:41:10,770
No! Wait!
1505
01:41:11,750 --> 01:41:14,550
The ball's picked up
by Scarborough.
1506
01:41:17,390 --> 01:41:19,050
Come on!
1507
01:41:24,500 --> 01:41:26,230
Touchdown!
1508
01:41:34,810 --> 01:41:36,640
What an amazing comeback, folks!
1509
01:41:36,840 --> 01:41:39,470
Taking a play from
the old Nebraska playbook.
1510
01:41:39,680 --> 01:41:40,670
The Fumblerooskie.
1511
01:41:40,880 --> 01:41:42,470
Easy. Easy.
1512
01:41:42,680 --> 01:41:44,150
You still alive, old man?
1513
01:41:45,690 --> 01:41:47,220
Never felt better in my life.
1514
01:41:47,420 --> 01:41:49,550
You're a sick bastard. Come here.
1515
01:41:50,290 --> 01:41:51,810
All right.
1516
01:41:52,030 --> 01:41:56,270
And now the cons are a mere
extra point away from overtime.
1517
01:41:56,460 --> 01:41:57,890
Mean Machine!
1518
01:42:01,400 --> 01:42:04,770
Team vote: We go for the win?
We go for the tie?
1519
01:42:04,970 --> 01:42:08,340
Hell, guys, we're convicts.
We always go for it all.
1520
01:42:08,880 --> 01:42:12,680
Unfortunately, that's why
we're all in the joint.
1521
01:42:13,110 --> 01:42:14,340
What would Caretaker do?
1522
01:42:16,150 --> 01:42:17,440
Give me that blackboard.
1523
01:42:17,790 --> 01:42:18,850
Yeah, come on!
1524
01:42:19,590 --> 01:42:20,560
Come on.
1525
01:42:23,090 --> 01:42:24,250
Are you serious?
1526
01:42:24,460 --> 01:42:26,120
I don't know. That play is wack.
1527
01:42:26,330 --> 01:42:27,390
It's gonna work.
1528
01:42:28,660 --> 01:42:30,860
It's gonna work. Let's go. On the ball.
1529
01:42:31,070 --> 01:42:32,060
Come on! Let's go!
1530
01:42:32,270 --> 01:42:34,260
Let's go, y'all! Let's go!
1531
01:42:34,470 --> 01:42:36,090
I think it's gonna work.
1532
01:42:37,200 --> 01:42:38,930
Get them out there.
1533
01:42:41,510 --> 01:42:44,570
And wait a minute.
Crewe is coming back into the game.
1534
01:42:44,780 --> 01:42:46,570
The cons are gonna go for the win.
1535
01:42:46,780 --> 01:42:47,840
They're going for it.
1536
01:42:49,120 --> 01:42:52,220
Crewe, trying to settle his team
into formation.
1537
01:42:52,420 --> 01:42:54,320
But there seems to be
a lot of confusion.
1538
01:42:54,520 --> 01:42:56,210
Come on! Run the play!
1539
01:42:56,420 --> 01:42:58,750
Turley! Turley. Over here.
1540
01:42:58,960 --> 01:43:01,550
Move your giant ass right here!
Right here.
1541
01:43:01,760 --> 01:43:03,560
Come on, baby. Come on.
1542
01:43:04,970 --> 01:43:08,200
The play clock is still running.
Crewe better call a time-out.
1543
01:43:08,400 --> 01:43:09,370
Come on, Crewe!
1544
01:43:11,370 --> 01:43:13,200
They don't know what we're doing!
1545
01:43:13,410 --> 01:43:14,970
Run the play we set up.
1546
01:43:15,180 --> 01:43:17,450
I think you're still dizzy from that hit!
1547
01:43:18,450 --> 01:43:20,420
The snap is to Deacon.
1548
01:43:20,620 --> 01:43:21,950
It's a trick.
1549
01:43:22,150 --> 01:43:24,170
He throws it to Crewe.
1550
01:43:47,710 --> 01:43:49,900
They did it! Unbelievable!
1551
01:43:50,110 --> 01:43:51,580
The cons win!
1552
01:44:05,160 --> 01:44:06,490
We win!
1553
01:44:06,690 --> 01:44:09,590
Group hug in the shower tonight!
1554
01:44:11,630 --> 01:44:13,860
Or not. Or not.
1555
01:44:15,970 --> 01:44:17,260
Well, there you have it.
1556
01:44:17,470 --> 01:44:19,660
A bunch of ruthless criminals
have beaten
1557
01:44:19,870 --> 01:44:22,430
the men that uphold
our justice system.
1558
01:44:22,640 --> 01:44:24,610
Criminals are people too, Chris.
1559
01:44:24,810 --> 01:44:26,140
Now, give me your wallet.
1560
01:44:26,750 --> 01:44:27,740
What?
1561
01:44:28,220 --> 01:44:29,880
Just kidding.
1562
01:44:33,990 --> 01:44:37,750
You got a lot of balls, Crewe.
You played a hell of a game.
1563
01:44:37,960 --> 01:44:41,790
And don't worry, I know you had
nothing to do with Caretaker's murder.
1564
01:44:42,000 --> 01:44:43,100
And I'll back that up.
1565
01:44:44,900 --> 01:44:46,300
Thank you, baby.
1566
01:44:47,970 --> 01:44:50,490
Mean Machine! Mean Machine!
1567
01:44:53,570 --> 01:44:58,100
You humiliated me. I can't believe
you couldn't even win a fixed game.
1568
01:45:00,680 --> 01:45:03,150
Now, where the hell
does he think he's going?
1569
01:45:06,650 --> 01:45:07,850
He's escaping.
1570
01:45:08,260 --> 01:45:09,390
He's escaping.
1571
01:45:09,590 --> 01:45:11,680
Officer, shoot that man!
1572
01:45:11,890 --> 01:45:13,690
But, sir, there's people.
1573
01:45:15,430 --> 01:45:16,480
Shoot him.
1574
01:45:17,470 --> 01:45:18,500
Crewe!
1575
01:45:19,200 --> 01:45:21,790
Captain, I order you
to shoot that prisoner.
1576
01:45:25,070 --> 01:45:27,090
Shoot him! Fire!
1577
01:45:27,310 --> 01:45:28,640
Crewe!
1578
01:45:28,840 --> 01:45:31,780
Damn it, I'm giving you an order,
captain!
1579
01:45:31,980 --> 01:45:32,940
Crewe!
1580
01:45:33,150 --> 01:45:34,950
Pull the trigger!
1581
01:45:54,300 --> 01:45:56,560
It's the game ball.
1582
01:46:03,510 --> 01:46:04,600
Hey.
1583
01:46:08,520 --> 01:46:11,460
Why don't you stick this
in your trophy case.
1584
01:46:13,520 --> 01:46:15,750
- You have a nice time, old man?
- Yeah.
1585
01:46:15,960 --> 01:46:18,830
Yeah? Okay.
So, what do we do now?
1586
01:46:19,030 --> 01:46:21,660
Well, the first thing is, we tell the
team where they're hiding Unger.
1587
01:46:21,860 --> 01:46:25,300
Oh, I can't wait to see
what Switowski does to him.
1588
01:46:32,170 --> 01:46:33,660
Great game, sir.
1589
01:46:36,540 --> 01:46:38,030
That's a week in the hotbox!
1590
01:46:38,250 --> 01:46:40,120
Who gives a shit?