1 00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:42,036 - Major? 2 00:02:44,234 --> 00:02:47,887 - Oh, I'm looking for Constable Macbeth? 3 00:02:47,887 --> 00:02:50,220 - This is Constable Macbeth. 4 00:02:52,634 --> 00:02:53,863 - Hello. 5 00:02:53,863 --> 00:02:56,530 You must be Constable Patterson? 6 00:02:57,937 --> 00:02:58,854 - Oh, gosh, 7 00:03:01,742 --> 00:03:04,435 I just wasn't quite sure to expect. 8 00:03:04,435 --> 00:03:06,136 - I do hope you're not too disappointed. 9 00:03:06,136 --> 00:03:07,136 No! 10 00:03:09,048 --> 00:03:10,698 Absolutely not. 11 00:03:10,698 --> 00:03:11,540 - Good. 12 00:03:11,540 --> 00:03:15,412 Fetch in Constable Patterson's bags, will you, John? 13 00:03:15,412 --> 00:03:17,853 Or should I call you Anne? 14 00:03:17,853 --> 00:03:19,183 - Oh, Anne would be super. 15 00:03:19,183 --> 00:03:20,748 - Well, Hamish would be super, too. 16 00:03:20,748 --> 00:03:23,004 Come inside and I'll show you the old billet 17 00:03:23,004 --> 00:03:23,837 - Right. 18 00:03:26,018 --> 00:03:27,482 - Old billet? 19 00:03:27,482 --> 00:03:29,982 You're going to blow this man. 20 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:32,878 - Hello? 21 00:03:33,997 --> 00:03:34,830 - Hello? 22 00:03:37,196 --> 00:03:38,391 Where's Major McClain? 23 00:03:38,391 --> 00:03:39,641 - Still asleep. 24 00:03:40,715 --> 00:03:42,045 Jet lag most likely. 25 00:03:42,045 --> 00:03:44,991 - That's a new name for it. 26 00:03:44,991 --> 00:03:49,158 Didn't know you could get jet lag coming from Tenner Reef. 27 00:03:51,304 --> 00:03:52,954 - A woman who speaks her mind. 28 00:03:52,954 --> 00:03:54,204 - That's right. 29 00:03:58,509 --> 00:04:00,108 - This is all very plain. 30 00:04:00,108 --> 00:04:03,441 - I've had no complaints from the Major. 31 00:04:05,243 --> 00:04:08,223 - Perhaps I should lend a hand with the shopping in future. 32 00:04:08,223 --> 00:04:09,586 - In future? 33 00:04:09,586 --> 00:04:11,792 You're stopping for a while then? 34 00:04:11,792 --> 00:04:14,822 - Oh forever, Perry and I are getting married. 35 00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:17,739 Just as soon as it can be arranged. 36 00:04:18,846 --> 00:04:20,580 - So what's she like? 37 00:04:20,580 --> 00:04:22,836 - Well she seems a nice wee lassie. 38 00:04:22,836 --> 00:04:24,788 A bit on the plain side for my taste. 39 00:04:24,788 --> 00:04:26,320 - She seems pleasant enough to me. 40 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:28,627 I directed her to the police house. 41 00:04:28,627 --> 00:04:31,371 - I can't wait to see the new model Hamish. 42 00:04:31,371 --> 00:04:33,778 - Hey how's that looking John? 43 00:04:33,778 --> 00:04:36,590 - I've got him looking like a tailors dummy Lochlan. 44 00:04:36,590 --> 00:04:38,391 I've even given him a pipe. 45 00:04:39,224 --> 00:04:40,664 To lend an ear of gravitas, you know? 46 00:04:40,664 --> 00:04:41,994 - A pipe? 47 00:04:41,994 --> 00:04:43,812 You're winding us up. 48 00:04:43,812 --> 00:04:44,889 Cross my heart. 49 00:04:44,889 --> 00:04:46,808 - Ah but what's in the pipe John? 50 00:04:46,808 --> 00:04:49,250 - Oh don't you worry about that Barney. 51 00:04:49,250 --> 00:04:52,061 When that WPC finishes her week's training 52 00:04:52,061 --> 00:04:54,519 and writes up her notes on the experience 53 00:04:54,519 --> 00:04:57,802 Constable Hamish MacBeth will shine from the pages. 54 00:04:57,802 --> 00:04:59,468 There'll be no references to a policeman 55 00:04:59,468 --> 00:05:00,664 who's gone native. 56 00:05:00,664 --> 00:05:03,020 - Or she'll be transferred out of here for his own good. 57 00:05:03,020 --> 00:05:04,519 - Exactly Lachy Jr. 58 00:05:04,519 --> 00:05:06,724 Ah Professor Stinson what can I dor for you? 59 00:05:06,724 --> 00:05:09,199 - My key I must leave to you Mr. Meldon. 60 00:05:09,199 --> 00:05:10,394 - I'll take it. 61 00:05:10,394 --> 00:05:11,394 - Thank you. 62 00:05:12,381 --> 00:05:15,024 So, a hiking I will go. 63 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:17,431 Have a good day professor. 64 00:05:17,431 --> 00:05:18,264 - Thank you. 65 00:05:18,264 --> 00:05:19,839 So you've a Professor 66 00:05:19,839 --> 00:05:20,748 staying at the hotel Barney? 67 00:05:20,748 --> 00:05:22,246 - Oh yes 68 00:05:22,246 --> 00:05:25,731 and hey listen do you know what he's professor of? 69 00:05:25,731 --> 00:05:28,789 Well it's certainly not English. 70 00:05:28,789 --> 00:05:31,657 - He is professor of erotic studies 71 00:05:31,657 --> 00:05:35,091 at the Institute of Human Behavior, Stockholm. 72 00:05:35,091 --> 00:05:36,758 - Erotic studies? 73 00:05:36,758 --> 00:05:39,008 Can you imagine? 74 00:05:40,545 --> 00:05:41,378 - Hmm. 75 00:05:44,098 --> 00:05:44,939 - Are we decent? 76 00:05:44,939 --> 00:05:46,253 - Yes. 77 00:05:46,253 --> 00:05:47,170 Do come in. 78 00:05:52,347 --> 00:05:53,180 - Ah, 79 00:05:54,131 --> 00:05:56,993 and um, who might he be I ask myself? 80 00:05:56,993 --> 00:05:58,576 - Oh this is daddy. 81 00:05:59,518 --> 00:06:03,424 He's a commander in the forces you can see Hamish. 82 00:06:03,424 --> 00:06:05,757 Oh, I admire him enormously. 83 00:06:06,909 --> 00:06:11,101 In a world full of cynicism and increasingly lax attitudes 84 00:06:11,101 --> 00:06:15,124 he strives to maintain the old values of discipline 85 00:06:15,124 --> 00:06:16,909 and respect. 86 00:06:16,909 --> 00:06:19,990 - He's one of a dwindling band then. 87 00:06:19,990 --> 00:06:23,996 - Oh but a band you so clearly belong to Hamish. 88 00:06:23,996 --> 00:06:25,495 - Tosh, tosh. 89 00:06:25,495 --> 00:06:26,471 - Tell me, 90 00:06:26,471 --> 00:06:29,215 where will you sleep while I'm here? 91 00:06:29,215 --> 00:06:32,330 - I thought I'd bunk down in the old cell. 92 00:06:32,330 --> 00:06:35,309 I like a good firm mattress underneath me. 93 00:06:35,309 --> 00:06:36,185 - Oh 94 00:06:36,185 --> 00:06:38,018 but this one feels so, 95 00:06:39,956 --> 00:06:40,789 soft. 96 00:06:43,983 --> 00:06:44,817 Oh uh, 97 00:06:44,817 --> 00:06:47,650 I do hope I'm not putting you out? 98 00:06:52,683 --> 00:06:55,259 - Good grief look at the time, I must be pushing on, 99 00:06:55,259 --> 00:06:58,176 I'll wait for you outside, shall I? 100 00:07:00,797 --> 00:07:01,630 Right? 101 00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:10,595 Come here, come here. 102 00:07:12,447 --> 00:07:13,979 - What's wrong? 103 00:07:13,979 --> 00:07:15,680 - She fancies me. 104 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:18,087 - God she's only been here five minutes, are you sure? 105 00:07:18,087 --> 00:07:19,956 - I was lucky to get out of there with my pants on 106 00:07:19,956 --> 00:07:22,279 plus her old man's a commander in the force. 107 00:07:22,279 --> 00:07:23,440 - Well hell hath no fury 108 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:25,898 like a commander's daughter scorned. 109 00:07:25,898 --> 00:07:27,548 God knows what she'll put in that report 110 00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:28,996 if you don't put a grin on her face. 111 00:07:28,996 --> 00:07:31,168 - That is the most immoral thing I've ever heard. 112 00:07:31,168 --> 00:07:33,070 Anyway it's not me she fancies, it's this plonker 113 00:07:33,070 --> 00:07:34,400 I'm supposed to be. 114 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:35,393 - Immoral? 115 00:07:35,393 --> 00:07:37,464 Since when did you let stuff like that get in the way 116 00:07:37,464 --> 00:07:38,297 of a, 117 00:07:38,297 --> 00:07:40,023 - Since I learned that's not the right way to be. 118 00:07:40,023 --> 00:07:42,093 Anyway, it's not as if she's God's gift, is it? 119 00:07:42,093 --> 00:07:45,010 Ready when you are Hamish. 120 00:07:56,353 --> 00:07:58,171 - After you. 121 00:08:12,497 --> 00:08:14,534 - Darling, you awake? 122 00:08:14,534 --> 00:08:15,701 Hmm? 123 00:08:21,487 --> 00:08:24,770 - I thought you might like something to eat. 124 00:08:24,770 --> 00:08:26,603 Keep your strength up. 125 00:08:28,844 --> 00:08:30,677 - Never felt stronger. 126 00:08:31,857 --> 00:08:35,275 And it is all thanks to you my love. 127 00:08:35,275 --> 00:08:39,618 - So you say, my darling, but there was that tiny wobble 128 00:08:39,618 --> 00:08:40,864 in Tenner Reef. 129 00:08:40,864 --> 00:08:42,733 - I'm absolutely fine. 130 00:08:42,733 --> 00:08:44,669 I feel like a young bull. 131 00:08:46,336 --> 00:08:47,750 - Never the less, 132 00:08:47,750 --> 00:08:51,319 I'd like you to see your own doctor. 133 00:08:51,319 --> 00:08:54,484 - If it makes you happy my love. 134 00:08:57,918 --> 00:09:00,494 How did you get on with Edie? 135 00:09:00,494 --> 00:09:04,383 - You know my darling I think we'll have to talk about Edie, 136 00:09:04,383 --> 00:09:09,113 only after you've eaten that and had your desert. 137 00:09:33,810 --> 00:09:35,847 - I was wondering Hamish, 138 00:09:35,847 --> 00:09:39,012 if we make any arrests while I'm here, 139 00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:41,453 where will you sleep then? 140 00:09:41,453 --> 00:09:42,985 - Well that's highly unlikely Anne, 141 00:09:42,985 --> 00:09:44,971 I run a tight ship here. 142 00:09:44,971 --> 00:09:48,471 No one ever steps out of line in Lochdubh. 143 00:09:50,493 --> 00:09:52,783 Ah. Some of the locals. 144 00:09:52,783 --> 00:09:55,089 Mr. and Mrs. Meldon, Lachie McCrae, 145 00:09:55,089 --> 00:09:58,319 this is Constable Patterson she's here for some training. 146 00:09:58,319 --> 00:09:59,887 - We've met I think. 147 00:09:59,887 --> 00:10:02,749 - And you couldn't have come to a better place. 148 00:10:02,749 --> 00:10:05,527 This man is a consummate policeman. 149 00:10:05,527 --> 00:10:07,345 It would be a sad day for this village 150 00:10:07,345 --> 00:10:09,096 if ever he were taken from us. 151 00:10:09,096 --> 00:10:12,126 - Oh I understand your sentiments entirely Mr. Meldon. 152 00:10:12,126 --> 00:10:14,315 - You don't mind if I just check Mr. Meldon. 153 00:10:14,315 --> 00:10:15,897 - You go right ahead Constable. 154 00:10:15,897 --> 00:10:17,897 - Faulty tires can kill. 155 00:10:25,241 --> 00:10:26,975 One point eight, spot on. 156 00:10:26,975 --> 00:10:29,837 - Thank god for that is all I can say, 157 00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:33,153 you don't want to fall foul of that man, no siree. 158 00:10:33,153 --> 00:10:35,291 - Must push on, Constable Patterson? 159 00:10:35,291 --> 00:10:36,124 - Oh. 160 00:10:41,251 --> 00:10:44,247 - She is an absolute honey. 161 00:10:44,247 --> 00:10:45,080 And she's looking 162 00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:47,766 for more than training I should say. 163 00:10:47,766 --> 00:10:49,954 - You know I've been thinking, 164 00:10:49,954 --> 00:10:53,439 Hamish is going to be at our mercy while she's here. 165 00:10:53,439 --> 00:10:55,055 - What do you mean? 166 00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:57,580 - Well, we're all members of the recently formed 167 00:10:57,580 --> 00:11:01,722 police community liaison committee, so I say 168 00:11:01,722 --> 00:11:03,222 we start to liase. 169 00:11:04,382 --> 00:11:05,543 - Who on earth is he? 170 00:11:05,543 --> 00:11:09,281 - That's Robertson Campbell, local grocer and 171 00:11:09,281 --> 00:11:11,198 volunteer lollipop man. 172 00:11:12,311 --> 00:11:14,180 - Why is he dressed like that? 173 00:11:14,180 --> 00:11:15,998 - Well it was my idea actually, 174 00:11:15,998 --> 00:11:18,287 I thought it would make him a trifle more conspicuous 175 00:11:18,287 --> 00:11:20,459 than the old white coat and hat. 176 00:11:20,459 --> 00:11:21,570 - Oh. 177 00:11:21,570 --> 00:11:25,153 No driver could fail to notice him in that. 178 00:11:26,604 --> 00:11:28,437 Wonderful idea Hamish. 179 00:11:34,247 --> 00:11:36,654 - Listen Rory, sorry about the uniform but 180 00:11:36,654 --> 00:11:38,641 very difficult to find a new inspired slant 181 00:11:38,641 --> 00:11:40,341 when you're on lollipop duty. 182 00:11:40,341 --> 00:11:43,742 - No need to apologize, Esme's crazy about it. 183 00:11:43,742 --> 00:11:45,863 She's got me wearing it at home. 184 00:11:49,095 --> 00:11:51,334 - Edie, the major back? 185 00:11:51,334 --> 00:11:54,196 - He's back and with a floozie in tow. 186 00:11:54,196 --> 00:11:57,412 Some bar fly that's latched on to him in Tenner Reef. 187 00:11:57,412 --> 00:11:58,245 - What? 188 00:11:58,245 --> 00:12:00,021 - I tell ya Hamish, when I'd gone to the house 189 00:12:00,021 --> 00:12:03,102 I found them doing some kind of Devil dance. 190 00:12:03,102 --> 00:12:05,173 Didn't know where to look. 191 00:12:05,173 --> 00:12:07,428 - It'll be a holiday romance, they never last. 192 00:12:07,428 --> 00:12:08,876 - No, 193 00:12:08,876 --> 00:12:11,940 they're getting married Rory. 194 00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:13,893 What's gonna happen to me? 195 00:12:20,139 --> 00:12:21,639 - Thank you Agnes. 196 00:12:22,917 --> 00:12:27,731 - Who would have thought it eh, the Major of all people. 197 00:12:27,731 --> 00:12:29,667 - Maybe he's lonely Barney. 198 00:12:29,667 --> 00:12:30,829 - Aye, 199 00:12:30,829 --> 00:12:32,496 rattling about in that big house. 200 00:12:32,496 --> 00:12:34,684 Can't be a lot of laughs. 201 00:12:34,684 --> 00:12:37,327 But at least it's bound to be true love. 202 00:12:37,327 --> 00:12:38,489 - What do you mean? 203 00:12:38,489 --> 00:12:39,650 - This dame. 204 00:12:39,650 --> 00:12:42,933 She can't be a gold digger, the Major's penniless. 205 00:12:42,933 --> 00:12:45,016 - But does she know that? 206 00:12:46,081 --> 00:12:48,236 - Och but I mean, you can't now for sure 207 00:12:48,236 --> 00:12:50,021 that she'll give you the heave. 208 00:12:50,021 --> 00:12:53,253 - I don't like that woman Lachlan. 209 00:12:53,253 --> 00:12:54,670 And she knows it. 210 00:12:56,990 --> 00:13:00,021 She'll give me the heave right enough. 211 00:13:00,021 --> 00:13:03,337 And God knows that the Major doesn't pay much. 212 00:13:03,337 --> 00:13:04,754 I need the money. 213 00:13:07,681 --> 00:13:09,431 What'll I do Lachlan? 214 00:13:11,906 --> 00:13:12,739 - Well, 215 00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:16,994 you could always get yourself a man. 216 00:13:18,489 --> 00:13:21,889 Somebody to share life's burdens with you, you know. 217 00:13:21,889 --> 00:13:25,639 - I've been on the shelf a long time Lachlan. 218 00:13:27,108 --> 00:13:29,398 - Ah but you never know Edie, 219 00:13:29,398 --> 00:13:32,065 where there's life there's hope. 220 00:13:33,387 --> 00:13:35,470 That's what I always say. 221 00:13:41,653 --> 00:13:45,054 - Hamish I would like you to meet my bride to be, 222 00:13:45,054 --> 00:13:46,471 Serena St. Clair. 223 00:13:47,344 --> 00:13:48,623 - How do you do? 224 00:13:48,623 --> 00:13:51,317 - I do very well thank you. 225 00:13:51,317 --> 00:13:55,150 Seriously, I'm really glad to meet you Hamish. 226 00:13:57,091 --> 00:13:59,414 Perry speaks very highly of you. 227 00:13:59,414 --> 00:14:02,914 - Well I hold Perry in high regard myself. 228 00:14:04,397 --> 00:14:06,519 - Darling, why don't you and Hamish have a chat 229 00:14:06,519 --> 00:14:09,436 while I go and make us some coffee? 230 00:14:20,761 --> 00:14:21,594 - She? 231 00:14:26,504 --> 00:14:28,587 Well isn't she something? 232 00:14:30,289 --> 00:14:31,122 - She's 233 00:14:32,377 --> 00:14:34,397 something all right. 234 00:14:34,397 --> 00:14:38,926 - We met at a ball in my hotel, a night I'll never forget. 235 00:14:38,926 --> 00:14:42,009 The band were playing Ravel's Bolero, 236 00:14:44,195 --> 00:14:47,778 I looked across the room and there she was. 237 00:14:50,845 --> 00:14:54,650 Sort of become our tune that, Bolero. 238 00:14:54,650 --> 00:14:56,114 - So you met her on holiday? 239 00:14:56,114 --> 00:14:59,969 - Yes, she has a villa on the island. 240 00:14:59,969 --> 00:15:01,047 - Her own? 241 00:15:01,047 --> 00:15:05,214 - Oh yes, oh yes, she's a woman of some means Hamish. 242 00:15:07,394 --> 00:15:08,227 - Major, 243 00:15:15,660 --> 00:15:19,599 does Serena know about your financial situation? 244 00:15:19,599 --> 00:15:22,516 I mean, you know, from the outside, 245 00:15:23,942 --> 00:15:26,097 the land, the house, 246 00:15:26,097 --> 00:15:28,909 a stranger could get the wrong impression. 247 00:15:28,909 --> 00:15:32,742 - Hamish when you're with a woman like Serena, 248 00:15:33,639 --> 00:15:37,747 you tend to forget your life of genteel penury. 249 00:15:37,747 --> 00:15:38,580 And why? 250 00:15:39,531 --> 00:15:43,698 Because it doesn't matter, we are purely and simply in love. 251 00:15:46,215 --> 00:15:47,132 - Yeah but, 252 00:15:48,538 --> 00:15:49,371 - What? 253 00:15:53,488 --> 00:15:56,250 - But nothing as long as you're happy. 254 00:15:56,250 --> 00:15:57,292 - Happy? 255 00:15:57,292 --> 00:15:59,582 Hamish I am ecstatic. 256 00:15:59,582 --> 00:16:02,444 I am reinvigorated, reinvented, reborn. 257 00:16:04,801 --> 00:16:06,787 Did I say about my legs? 258 00:16:06,787 --> 00:16:07,620 - Your legs? 259 00:16:07,620 --> 00:16:08,757 - Yes now, 260 00:16:08,757 --> 00:16:12,507 I have beautiful legs, I'm in my middle years 261 00:16:14,481 --> 00:16:16,972 and I have the legs of an 18 year old boy, 262 00:16:16,972 --> 00:16:17,889 she saw it. 263 00:16:19,784 --> 00:16:20,617 Now, 264 00:16:22,444 --> 00:16:23,861 isn't it amazing? 265 00:16:24,935 --> 00:16:27,747 - Major, I just don't know how to respond to that really. 266 00:16:27,747 --> 00:16:28,959 - Darling, 267 00:16:28,959 --> 00:16:29,792 coffee. 268 00:16:29,792 --> 00:16:31,542 - Yes coming darling. 269 00:16:32,393 --> 00:16:33,226 Come on. 270 00:16:34,228 --> 00:16:38,228 We both have something we would like to ask you. 271 00:16:40,693 --> 00:16:41,526 Good evening. 272 00:16:41,526 --> 00:16:42,848 - Hi there. 273 00:16:42,848 --> 00:16:44,514 Evening all. 274 00:16:44,514 --> 00:16:47,039 - Barney, get Hamish a pint. 275 00:16:47,039 --> 00:16:48,925 So, have you been over there? 276 00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:50,255 - Just back. 277 00:16:50,255 --> 00:16:51,703 - What's she like? 278 00:16:54,131 --> 00:16:55,423 - Good for the Major. 279 00:16:55,423 --> 00:16:56,955 - So when's the big day Hamish? 280 00:16:56,955 --> 00:16:59,194 - Well just as soon as they're registrar can fit them in 281 00:16:59,194 --> 00:17:01,837 and I am to be best man. 282 00:17:01,837 --> 00:17:04,043 - So it's gonna be a big do is it? 283 00:17:04,043 --> 00:17:06,366 - No just a ceremony and then Serena and the Major 284 00:17:06,366 --> 00:17:08,740 are gonna pop home for a quiet celebration. 285 00:17:11,096 --> 00:17:11,929 Uh, Agnes, 286 00:17:14,463 --> 00:17:16,796 can I have a word, this way? 287 00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:29,665 Right, well it's um, 288 00:17:29,665 --> 00:17:33,521 I was wondering if you could maybe help me out 289 00:17:33,521 --> 00:17:35,591 of a wee problem, you being women I mean. 290 00:17:35,591 --> 00:17:36,635 - Of course Hamish. 291 00:17:36,635 --> 00:17:39,766 - Good, right, you know that WPC Patterson, 292 00:17:39,766 --> 00:17:42,266 She wants your body. 293 00:17:43,891 --> 00:17:45,389 - How do you know that? 294 00:17:45,389 --> 00:17:47,662 - I saw her looking Hamish. 295 00:17:47,662 --> 00:17:50,490 - Me too and that is as bad a case of the hots 296 00:17:50,490 --> 00:17:52,729 as I have ever seen. 297 00:17:52,729 --> 00:17:54,632 - So what do you think I should do? 298 00:17:54,632 --> 00:17:57,544 - You mean you don't know? 299 00:17:57,544 --> 00:17:58,621 - No, 300 00:17:58,621 --> 00:17:59,454 - Well, 301 00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:05,642 you could speak to Professor Svenson over there. 302 00:18:05,642 --> 00:18:08,133 - Good idea, he might have some educational books 303 00:18:08,133 --> 00:18:11,315 with illustrations and things. 304 00:18:11,315 --> 00:18:13,352 - Show you how to go about it Hamish. 305 00:18:13,352 --> 00:18:14,918 - What bits go where, things like. 306 00:18:14,918 --> 00:18:16,668 - Alright I see, okay, so I come for a bit of help 307 00:18:16,668 --> 00:18:18,975 and this is what I get, ridiculed, 308 00:18:18,975 --> 00:18:20,793 I'm trying to show a bit of restraint here. 309 00:18:20,793 --> 00:18:21,921 You know what I mean? 310 00:18:21,921 --> 00:18:23,705 Trying not to take advantage of that young woman 311 00:18:23,705 --> 00:18:25,237 and a sister ladies. 312 00:18:25,237 --> 00:18:27,106 - We know you are Hamish, 313 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,924 it's an admirable thing you're doing. 314 00:18:28,924 --> 00:18:31,668 - So, we've had a word with Joey 315 00:18:31,668 --> 00:18:34,751 and we've suggested something to him. 316 00:18:36,012 --> 00:18:38,587 - Some people here are optimistic about the future 317 00:18:38,587 --> 00:18:41,921 but many more are apprehensive and even fearful, 318 00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:45,018 raising yet again the whole question of land ownership 319 00:18:45,018 --> 00:18:46,357 in the highlands. 320 00:18:46,357 --> 00:18:50,024 Isabelle Sutherland for the Highlands Today. 321 00:18:53,495 --> 00:18:56,441 Owners of the Glendarren Estate in a dozen years 322 00:18:56,441 --> 00:18:58,057 and despite repeated inquiries, 323 00:18:58,057 --> 00:18:59,892 - Something of interest Mr. McIver? 324 00:18:59,892 --> 00:19:04,151 - Oh yes, the presenter, she's a local girl. 325 00:19:04,151 --> 00:19:04,984 - Oh? 326 00:19:05,986 --> 00:19:09,926 - She left to go into newspapers and then came up north 327 00:19:09,926 --> 00:19:11,188 to do that? 328 00:19:11,188 --> 00:19:12,299 - What to Lochdubh? 329 00:19:12,299 --> 00:19:13,966 - No, no, Inverness. 330 00:19:16,693 --> 00:19:19,690 That's Hamish's tape actually. 331 00:19:19,690 --> 00:19:21,340 They were 332 00:19:21,340 --> 00:19:22,673 close, you know. 333 00:19:24,084 --> 00:19:27,535 I think he's still carrying a torch for her. 334 00:19:29,606 --> 00:19:31,845 - I wouldn't be to sure about that. 335 00:19:31,845 --> 00:19:32,678 - Eh? 336 00:19:33,595 --> 00:19:37,888 - Well Hamish is steeped in the ethos of the force. 337 00:19:37,888 --> 00:19:39,388 A copper's copper. 338 00:19:40,952 --> 00:19:42,787 The force feeds him, clothes him, 339 00:19:42,787 --> 00:19:45,195 even puts a roof over his head. 340 00:19:45,195 --> 00:19:48,107 And people like Hamish well they tend to look to it 341 00:19:48,107 --> 00:19:51,828 to provide them with a partner also. 342 00:19:51,828 --> 00:19:55,666 Which is probably why that relationship failed. 343 00:19:55,666 --> 00:19:57,063 - Oh. 344 00:20:01,087 --> 00:20:03,999 Oh well back to the drawing board then. 345 00:20:48,679 --> 00:20:50,581 Oh please God, 346 00:20:50,581 --> 00:20:52,989 give me the strength to be a good man. 347 00:20:52,989 --> 00:20:53,822 Oh please. 348 00:20:57,349 --> 00:20:59,049 - I would like to bring this meeting 349 00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:01,659 of the Police Community Liaison Committee 350 00:21:01,659 --> 00:21:05,733 to order by formally welcoming WPC Patterson 351 00:21:05,733 --> 00:21:07,012 to Lochdubh. 352 00:21:09,841 --> 00:21:11,591 - Thank you very much. 353 00:21:11,591 --> 00:21:12,424 Thank you. 354 00:21:13,881 --> 00:21:15,783 - The agenda Hamish. 355 00:21:15,783 --> 00:21:17,113 - The what what? 356 00:21:17,113 --> 00:21:19,016 - The agenda man. 357 00:21:19,016 --> 00:21:20,766 - Ah, the old agenda. 358 00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:23,578 - And you'll see that there is only 359 00:21:23,578 --> 00:21:26,069 the one item there Hamish. 360 00:21:26,069 --> 00:21:27,069 - Transport. 361 00:21:28,308 --> 00:21:30,177 - What about transport? 362 00:21:30,177 --> 00:21:33,073 - Well, whist we recognize the need for a Land Rover 363 00:21:33,073 --> 00:21:35,009 given the local terrain Hamish, 364 00:21:35,009 --> 00:21:37,012 - It never the less has the adverse effect 365 00:21:37,012 --> 00:21:41,406 of rendering you on occasion, remote from the community, 366 00:21:41,406 --> 00:21:43,561 you just sort of whizz by, if you see what I mean. 367 00:21:43,561 --> 00:21:45,228 - Mmhmm, do carry on. 368 00:21:45,228 --> 00:21:46,086 - So we thought, 369 00:21:46,086 --> 00:21:49,958 that is the Police Community Liaison Committee thought, 370 00:21:49,958 --> 00:21:53,527 that were you to vary your mode of transport, 371 00:21:53,527 --> 00:21:56,591 that might alleviate the problem. 372 00:21:56,591 --> 00:21:59,591 - What exactly did you have in mind? 373 00:22:02,466 --> 00:22:04,799 - Hamish isn't it wonderful? 374 00:22:06,238 --> 00:22:07,155 - Splendid. 375 00:22:10,261 --> 00:22:12,702 Every single last one of you's a dead man. 376 00:22:12,702 --> 00:22:15,345 - Oh, we must try it straight away. 377 00:22:15,345 --> 00:22:16,456 Just to get the hang of it. 378 00:22:16,456 --> 00:22:18,207 - Oh that's a good idea. 379 00:22:18,207 --> 00:22:21,524 - You will of course be riding Lochdubh fashion Hamish. 380 00:22:21,524 --> 00:22:22,466 - Lochdubh? 381 00:22:22,466 --> 00:22:24,217 - Ladies at the front Hamish. 382 00:22:24,217 --> 00:22:26,288 - They do say that Lochdubh's population explosion 383 00:22:26,288 --> 00:22:28,813 in the 30's was not unconnected to the popularity 384 00:22:28,813 --> 00:22:30,980 of the tandem at the time. 385 00:22:32,096 --> 00:22:34,082 - What can he mean? 386 00:22:45,092 --> 00:22:47,842 Oh Hamish, what scenery! 387 00:22:49,318 --> 00:22:50,151 - Yeah. 388 00:22:52,180 --> 00:22:55,263 - Would you like to stop for a while? 389 00:22:56,877 --> 00:22:57,710 - No. 390 00:23:08,779 --> 00:23:10,143 - Hmm, 391 00:23:10,143 --> 00:23:11,810 it seems okay there. 392 00:23:13,543 --> 00:23:16,338 And you definitely have no history of blackouts Major? 393 00:23:16,338 --> 00:23:17,255 - No, none. 394 00:23:18,459 --> 00:23:21,641 One minute I was sitting on the hotel balcony 395 00:23:21,641 --> 00:23:25,749 and the next I was lying on the bathroom floor. 396 00:23:25,749 --> 00:23:27,567 - What did he doctor in Tenner Reef say? 397 00:23:27,567 --> 00:23:29,924 - Nothing, Serena called and called the man 398 00:23:29,924 --> 00:23:32,045 just never came out. 399 00:23:32,045 --> 00:23:35,479 When I seemed to make a full recovery, I just put it out 400 00:23:35,479 --> 00:23:37,062 of my mind. 401 00:23:37,062 --> 00:23:38,399 - No nausea, nothing like that. 402 00:23:38,399 --> 00:23:39,931 - No. 403 00:23:39,931 --> 00:23:40,891 - Nothing like it since? 404 00:23:40,891 --> 00:23:42,423 - Nothing. 405 00:23:42,423 --> 00:23:43,256 - Hmm. 406 00:23:46,278 --> 00:23:48,315 I think we should take a blood sample, 407 00:23:48,315 --> 00:23:49,815 have it looked at. 408 00:23:52,574 --> 00:23:55,991 - Artichoke hearts, quail's eggs, caviar, 409 00:23:57,877 --> 00:23:59,628 Verve Cliquot and Bollet. 410 00:23:59,628 --> 00:24:01,985 - Oh yes, Verve is Perry's favorite bubbly 411 00:24:01,985 --> 00:24:04,527 but I'm afraid I react terribly badly to it. 412 00:24:04,527 --> 00:24:05,554 - Oh. 413 00:24:05,554 --> 00:24:09,721 - Hmm, dreadful rash on every centimeter of my body. 414 00:24:11,059 --> 00:24:13,096 - So you'll be the Bollet person? 415 00:24:13,096 --> 00:24:14,224 - That's right. 416 00:24:14,224 --> 00:24:17,203 Slips down a perfect treat and no ill effects. 417 00:24:17,203 --> 00:24:21,715 - Well then it's Verve and Bollet, half bottles? 418 00:24:21,715 --> 00:24:23,668 - Of course, I practice moderation 419 00:24:23,668 --> 00:24:26,001 in most things Mr. Campbell. 420 00:24:27,237 --> 00:24:31,210 Would tomorrow be too soon to pick this up? 421 00:24:31,210 --> 00:24:32,826 - Tomorrow would be fine. 422 00:24:32,826 --> 00:24:33,826 - Thank you. 423 00:24:36,968 --> 00:24:38,348 - Edie. 424 00:24:38,348 --> 00:24:39,181 - Rory. 425 00:24:46,328 --> 00:24:47,523 - Rory, 426 00:24:47,523 --> 00:24:49,594 the Major can never afford all this. 427 00:24:49,594 --> 00:24:52,994 - Maybe not but she can and when they're married 428 00:24:52,994 --> 00:24:56,530 what's hers is his right, and vice versa. 429 00:24:56,530 --> 00:24:57,860 If I'm not mistaken, 430 00:24:57,860 --> 00:25:01,547 that was a Hermes scarf she was wearing. 431 00:25:01,547 --> 00:25:04,214 She's not short of a bob or two. 432 00:25:07,456 --> 00:25:10,604 - Good God will she never go to sleep? 433 00:25:10,604 --> 00:25:13,230 - She got things on her mind Hamish. 434 00:25:13,230 --> 00:25:15,048 - Maybe she's gone to sleep with the light on. 435 00:25:15,048 --> 00:25:16,833 - Oh well I'm not going in to put it out. 436 00:25:16,833 --> 00:25:18,297 - Afraid of what you might accidentally see? 437 00:25:18,297 --> 00:25:20,200 - Hey there's nothing accidental about it Lachlan, 438 00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:23,348 she knows exactly what she's doing. 439 00:25:23,348 --> 00:25:24,964 - Hamish look. 440 00:25:24,964 --> 00:25:26,214 - Oh thank God. 441 00:25:27,085 --> 00:25:28,918 - Give her 37 minutes. 442 00:25:29,998 --> 00:25:31,782 - 37 Minutes? 443 00:25:31,782 --> 00:25:34,223 - Aye, that's as long as Agnes has ever lasted. 444 00:25:34,223 --> 00:25:36,260 And when she's in the mood she got as much determination 445 00:25:36,260 --> 00:25:38,427 as any young police woman. 446 00:25:39,483 --> 00:25:43,204 - Better make it 40 she's a younger woman. 447 00:25:43,204 --> 00:25:44,454 - Right ya are. 448 00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:13,507 - Ugh, make it stop. 449 00:26:15,190 --> 00:26:16,023 Please. 450 00:26:17,715 --> 00:26:18,798 Make it stop. 451 00:26:20,779 --> 00:26:23,220 - You must have been last getting in last night Hamish. 452 00:26:23,220 --> 00:26:24,634 No trouble I hope. 453 00:26:24,634 --> 00:26:27,614 - No, no, I was um, I was just um. 454 00:26:27,614 --> 00:26:28,978 - At the Majors. 455 00:26:28,978 --> 00:26:30,594 - At the Majors. 456 00:26:30,594 --> 00:26:32,176 - Practicing to be best man. 457 00:26:32,176 --> 00:26:34,382 - Practicing to be best man. 458 00:26:34,382 --> 00:26:35,459 - You know, 459 00:26:35,459 --> 00:26:37,732 it says a great deal about you Hamish 460 00:26:37,732 --> 00:26:39,432 that such an important figure in the community 461 00:26:39,432 --> 00:26:42,265 should ask you to be his best man. 462 00:26:43,708 --> 00:26:45,458 It just says so much. 463 00:26:53,557 --> 00:26:54,474 - Ah Edith. 464 00:26:55,594 --> 00:26:56,427 - Yes. 465 00:27:00,324 --> 00:27:01,157 - Edie, 466 00:27:03,927 --> 00:27:07,446 - She sent you to do the dirty work, hasn't she? 467 00:27:07,446 --> 00:27:10,363 - She is going to be my wife Edith. 468 00:27:11,536 --> 00:27:15,358 - I'll stay til you're married, is that alright Major? 469 00:27:15,358 --> 00:27:18,525 - Yes, oh yes yes, that would be fine. 470 00:27:21,796 --> 00:27:22,629 I, 471 00:27:24,045 --> 00:27:25,628 I am so very sorry. 472 00:27:31,501 --> 00:27:33,977 - Have you enough sugar in your tea constable? 473 00:27:33,977 --> 00:27:35,762 - Splendid Mrs. Meldon, splendid. 474 00:27:35,762 --> 00:27:37,595 - And mine, thank you. 475 00:27:39,162 --> 00:27:41,115 - Professor, that you off? 476 00:27:41,115 --> 00:27:44,297 - Yes, to home I must be going I'm scared. 477 00:27:44,297 --> 00:27:46,755 - No, no, I'm afraid. 478 00:27:46,755 --> 00:27:47,588 - You too? 479 00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:51,704 - Well bon voyage. 480 00:27:51,704 --> 00:27:53,270 - Oh thank you. 481 00:27:53,270 --> 00:27:55,055 - Oh let me give you a hand. 482 00:27:55,055 --> 00:27:56,055 - Thank you. 483 00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:05,257 Thank you young gentleman. 484 00:28:08,657 --> 00:28:09,490 - Hey. 485 00:28:11,603 --> 00:28:12,936 - Hey, hey, hey! 486 00:28:14,549 --> 00:28:15,382 - Professor? 487 00:28:15,382 --> 00:28:16,873 - That is Lottie Larue. 488 00:28:16,873 --> 00:28:17,706 - No I don't think so. 489 00:28:17,706 --> 00:28:21,603 - Yeah, I'm telling you, that is Lottie Larue. 490 00:28:21,603 --> 00:28:25,318 She was star woman in Swedish film, 491 00:28:25,318 --> 00:28:26,620 Kiss of the Mantis. 492 00:28:26,620 --> 00:28:30,620 1977, I've seen that film a thousand times, yes. 493 00:28:33,472 --> 00:28:37,305 I'm telling you for sure that is Lottie Larue. 494 00:28:38,202 --> 00:28:41,202 And she has a butterfly on her bump. 495 00:28:42,091 --> 00:28:43,118 - Lottie Larue? 496 00:28:43,118 --> 00:28:44,451 - Yeah, oh yeah, 497 00:28:46,435 --> 00:28:51,334 one film and then gone, phew, no more Lottie Larue. 498 00:28:51,334 --> 00:28:53,404 - What kind of film? 499 00:28:53,404 --> 00:28:56,081 no, not pornographic. 500 00:28:56,081 --> 00:28:58,691 No, no, but very erotic. 501 00:28:58,691 --> 00:29:00,774 Ha, ha, ha, Lottie Larue. 502 00:29:12,697 --> 00:29:15,896 - Now Mr. McCrae, just the man. 503 00:29:15,896 --> 00:29:17,680 - Hamish if it's about the tandem. 504 00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:18,513 - No, no, 505 00:29:19,414 --> 00:29:20,660 it's about a film Lache, 506 00:29:20,660 --> 00:29:22,983 I thought with you being a film buff you might be able to 507 00:29:22,983 --> 00:29:24,549 tell me how to get a hold of a film. 508 00:29:24,549 --> 00:29:26,014 - Well, with a bit of luck you could sit down 509 00:29:26,014 --> 00:29:27,344 in front of my computer, 510 00:29:27,344 --> 00:29:30,037 I have the wear with all to punch up dialogue, 511 00:29:30,037 --> 00:29:32,983 story lines, scenes, the whole film maybe. 512 00:29:32,983 --> 00:29:33,816 - Amazing. 513 00:29:45,071 --> 00:29:46,451 That's fantastic. 514 00:29:46,451 --> 00:29:47,950 Do you mind if I just have a wee go? 515 00:29:47,950 --> 00:29:51,923 - Aye help yourself, but why the sudden interest? 516 00:29:51,923 --> 00:29:53,791 - Ah just checking on something Loche, 517 00:29:53,791 --> 00:29:55,980 something official. 518 00:29:55,980 --> 00:29:58,101 - Oh well I'll leave you in peace then. 519 00:29:58,101 --> 00:29:58,934 - Okay. 520 00:30:17,057 --> 00:30:18,557 - Ah Major, Major, 521 00:30:46,939 --> 00:30:49,439 - I saw the butterfly, Hamish. 522 00:30:52,579 --> 00:30:54,246 I saw the butterfly. 523 00:31:00,239 --> 00:31:02,074 - What did I tell ya, now I have to get you home 524 00:31:02,074 --> 00:31:04,633 and into bed because you've got a very, very early start 525 00:31:04,633 --> 00:31:05,794 in the morning. 526 00:31:05,794 --> 00:31:08,959 - But isn't this a bit of a leap to make. 527 00:31:08,959 --> 00:31:11,821 - Call it a copper's instinct. 528 00:31:11,821 --> 00:31:12,654 - Oh. 529 00:31:23,353 --> 00:31:25,592 - Where's Constable Patterson? 530 00:31:25,592 --> 00:31:26,501 - Gone. 531 00:31:26,501 --> 00:31:28,117 - Gone? 532 00:31:28,117 --> 00:31:28,950 Where? 533 00:31:28,950 --> 00:31:30,693 - I'm not telling you, any of you, 534 00:31:30,693 --> 00:31:32,444 let's just say her duties elsewhere will take up 535 00:31:32,444 --> 00:31:34,777 a fair bit of her time here. 536 00:31:35,743 --> 00:31:37,444 - Why won't you tell us? 537 00:31:37,444 --> 00:31:39,195 - What so some smart Alec can contact her 538 00:31:39,195 --> 00:31:42,562 and bring her back, no thank you. 539 00:31:42,562 --> 00:31:43,420 - Hello, 540 00:31:43,420 --> 00:31:46,871 Hamish, Hamish, wonderful news, the registrar called 541 00:31:46,871 --> 00:31:50,019 to say she just had a last minute cancellation. 542 00:31:50,019 --> 00:31:52,023 Serena and I can get married tomorrow. 543 00:31:52,023 --> 00:31:54,043 - Oh that's good news Major. 544 00:31:54,043 --> 00:31:54,876 - Thank you. 545 00:31:54,876 --> 00:31:57,444 - I've seen your intended and you're a very lucky man. 546 00:31:57,444 --> 00:31:59,060 - Well you know what this means Major, 547 00:31:59,060 --> 00:31:59,893 - What? 548 00:32:01,130 --> 00:32:02,545 - It's your stag night. 549 00:32:02,545 --> 00:32:04,497 - Damn me, so it is. 550 00:32:27,258 --> 00:32:32,107 wonderful things to do 551 00:32:52,780 --> 00:32:54,780 - Friends, dear friends, 552 00:32:55,692 --> 00:32:59,859 a song encapsulating the wonderful evening in Tenner Reef 553 00:33:01,921 --> 00:33:05,671 when my bride to be, Serena and I, first met. 554 00:33:12,022 --> 00:33:16,467 night, exchanging glances 555 00:33:16,467 --> 00:33:20,743 what were the chances 556 00:33:20,743 --> 00:33:24,910 before the night was through 557 00:33:29,951 --> 00:33:30,784 - Edie? 558 00:33:31,938 --> 00:33:34,295 What's the story lass? 559 00:33:34,295 --> 00:33:35,878 - I'm being let go. 560 00:33:37,073 --> 00:33:39,490 Och, I don't blame the Major. 561 00:33:40,423 --> 00:33:44,110 I doubt he'll have a mind of his own from here on in. 562 00:33:44,110 --> 00:33:45,943 No, this is her doing. 563 00:33:48,419 --> 00:33:52,169 - Il desperandum my lady, il desperandum, eh? 564 00:34:15,423 --> 00:34:19,590 - Repeat after me, I solemnly and sincerely declare 565 00:34:22,072 --> 00:34:24,905 that I Serena St. Clair accept you 566 00:34:26,584 --> 00:34:30,584 Roderick Peregrine McClain, as my lawful husband 567 00:34:31,567 --> 00:34:34,150 to the exclusion of all others. 568 00:34:35,220 --> 00:34:39,387 - I solemnly and sincerely declare that I Serena St. Clair 569 00:34:40,624 --> 00:34:44,791 accept you Roderick Peregrine McClain, as my lawful husband 570 00:34:46,180 --> 00:34:48,638 to the exclusion of all others. 571 00:34:48,638 --> 00:34:51,752 Let me be the first to congratulate you Major 572 00:34:51,752 --> 00:34:53,570 and Mrs. McClain. 573 00:34:53,570 --> 00:34:55,018 - Thank you. 574 00:34:55,018 --> 00:34:57,813 - And thank you my darling for making me 575 00:34:57,813 --> 00:34:59,480 so very, very happy. 576 00:35:03,318 --> 00:35:04,850 Great, great day Hamish, 577 00:35:04,850 --> 00:35:07,678 I'm so glad you're here to share it. 578 00:35:07,678 --> 00:35:09,378 - Pleasures mine Major. 579 00:35:09,378 --> 00:35:10,628 Pleasures mine. 580 00:35:12,981 --> 00:35:14,311 Mrs. McClain. 581 00:35:14,311 --> 00:35:15,144 - Hamish. 582 00:35:15,144 --> 00:35:16,836 - Ah-hah, ah-hah, well I think I'll be taking 583 00:35:16,836 --> 00:35:18,284 my wife home now Hamish. 584 00:35:18,284 --> 00:35:19,648 - Where will you go? 585 00:35:19,648 --> 00:35:20,658 - Hair of the dog I think. 586 00:35:20,658 --> 00:35:21,491 - Ah. 587 00:35:21,491 --> 00:35:24,092 - Excuse me Major, if you could just bear with me 588 00:35:24,092 --> 00:35:28,259 a while longer, there are some forms to be filled in. 589 00:35:53,755 --> 00:35:55,287 - Where have you been? 590 00:35:55,287 --> 00:35:56,651 We're all waiting for the news. 591 00:35:56,651 --> 00:35:57,484 - What news? 592 00:35:57,484 --> 00:35:59,193 They're married, probably on their way home by now. 593 00:35:59,193 --> 00:36:00,893 - What news, what news? 594 00:36:00,893 --> 00:36:03,226 What was she wearing Hamish? 595 00:36:04,917 --> 00:36:06,870 - A frock, what do you think. 596 00:36:06,870 --> 00:36:09,984 - Well what kind of frock for goodness sake? 597 00:36:09,984 --> 00:36:14,462 - Was it white, cream, long, black, short, what? 598 00:36:14,462 --> 00:36:16,364 - You know I never noticed. 599 00:36:16,364 --> 00:36:19,109 Typical bloody man. 600 00:36:19,109 --> 00:36:22,609 - I was overcome by the emotion of it all. 601 00:36:34,698 --> 00:36:38,233 - I can't stand it any longer, Macbeth, 602 00:36:38,233 --> 00:36:39,799 you'll have to tell us what you've done 603 00:36:39,799 --> 00:36:41,432 with that wee lassie. 604 00:36:41,432 --> 00:36:42,778 - Nope. 605 00:36:42,778 --> 00:36:46,945 - Damn you man, we'll all promise not to interfere. 606 00:36:48,519 --> 00:36:49,647 - Would you promise? 607 00:36:49,647 --> 00:36:51,647 Aye, we promise. 608 00:36:58,452 --> 00:36:59,285 - Okay, 609 00:37:01,145 --> 00:37:03,048 right you know that language college in Inverness. 610 00:37:03,048 --> 00:37:03,881 I know it. 611 00:37:03,881 --> 00:37:06,297 - Well she's there working night and day and far too late 612 00:37:06,297 --> 00:37:08,906 at night to come driving all the way back so I got her digs, 613 00:37:08,906 --> 00:37:10,354 I might at. 614 00:37:10,354 --> 00:37:12,021 - What's she working on Hamish? 615 00:37:12,021 --> 00:37:14,596 - Well she's looking at photographs in foreign newspapers, 616 00:37:14,596 --> 00:37:16,330 looking for a needle in a hay stack. 617 00:37:16,330 --> 00:37:19,445 Worse, a needle that isn't even in the hay stack. 618 00:37:19,445 --> 00:37:22,778 - Hamish could you be a bit less opaque? 619 00:37:30,808 --> 00:37:33,639 - I discovered that the Major's wife had made a film, right? 620 00:37:33,639 --> 00:37:38,031 A low budget Swedish thing about a woman who travels 621 00:37:38,031 --> 00:37:40,556 Europe and then marries moderately wealthy men 622 00:37:40,556 --> 00:37:42,458 and then starts bumping them off. 623 00:37:45,202 --> 00:37:47,702 So I asked Constable Patterson 624 00:37:48,653 --> 00:37:50,606 how does a woman like the lovely Serena afford 625 00:37:50,606 --> 00:37:52,643 her kind of lifestyle when as far as we know 626 00:37:52,643 --> 00:37:55,017 she hasn't worked for 20 years, 627 00:37:55,017 --> 00:37:57,509 what if, I wondered out loud, 628 00:37:57,509 --> 00:38:00,993 Serena had started to act out her part in real life? 629 00:38:00,993 --> 00:38:03,317 - What marry men and bump them off for their money? 630 00:38:03,317 --> 00:38:04,781 Right, 631 00:38:04,781 --> 00:38:07,256 - So she's scanning the papers for evidence 632 00:38:07,256 --> 00:38:09,243 of Serena's past crimes? 633 00:38:09,243 --> 00:38:11,448 Right again. 634 00:38:11,448 --> 00:38:15,236 - She must be easily swayed if she bought that Hamish. 635 00:38:15,236 --> 00:38:16,397 - Well I mean she had her doubts 636 00:38:16,397 --> 00:38:19,663 but I gave her the good copper's instinct line, you know? 637 00:38:29,257 --> 00:38:32,239 - Mmmm, oh you take these through to the lounge 638 00:38:32,239 --> 00:38:33,939 and I'll bring in the caviar. 639 00:38:33,939 --> 00:38:37,356 - Alright but don't keep me waiting long, 640 00:38:38,502 --> 00:38:39,585 Mrs. McClain. 641 00:38:43,619 --> 00:38:46,481 - So how did this woman get rid of her men Hamish? 642 00:38:46,481 --> 00:38:49,629 - Ah, electrocution, car crash, 643 00:38:49,629 --> 00:38:51,835 domestic accident, oh see the last one, the last one 644 00:38:51,835 --> 00:38:53,990 was particularly nasty. 645 00:38:53,990 --> 00:38:56,010 She poisons the guys right, 646 00:38:56,010 --> 00:38:59,677 poisons the guy on their wedding day, nasty. 647 00:39:00,909 --> 00:39:03,283 - I don't buy it, I mean the poison would show up 648 00:39:03,283 --> 00:39:05,471 in the postmortem wouldn't it doc? 649 00:39:05,471 --> 00:39:06,304 - Fairly probably. 650 00:39:06,304 --> 00:39:08,417 - No, no, no, she poisons the guy then dumps his body 651 00:39:08,417 --> 00:39:10,875 at the bottom of a lake for a year. 652 00:39:10,875 --> 00:39:13,097 - Hmm, it might work. 653 00:39:13,097 --> 00:39:15,429 There wouldn't be a lot left to do a PM on. 654 00:39:15,429 --> 00:39:17,862 - Ah but surely people would be suspicious 655 00:39:17,862 --> 00:39:19,596 a man disappearing on his wedding day. 656 00:39:19,596 --> 00:39:22,626 - Well prior to the wedding she slips the guy a mickey 657 00:39:22,626 --> 00:39:25,370 he collapses, the doctor comes and establishes the fact 658 00:39:25,370 --> 00:39:28,282 that the guy is prone to black outs, clever. 659 00:39:28,282 --> 00:39:32,032 - The um Major had a blackout in Tenner Reef. 660 00:39:34,612 --> 00:39:37,279 He asked me to see him about it. 661 00:39:39,966 --> 00:39:42,946 - Come on I just made the whole thing up to get rid of Anne. 662 00:39:42,946 --> 00:39:46,026 - Well who's out of beer here. 663 00:39:46,026 --> 00:39:46,943 - Me daddy. 664 00:40:11,531 --> 00:40:15,364 - Darling, darling could you come in a minute? 665 00:40:19,831 --> 00:40:23,164 Ah darling, Edith's come to collect some things 666 00:40:23,164 --> 00:40:26,767 and I thought you might like to say what we had agreed. 667 00:40:26,767 --> 00:40:30,336 - Of course, I hope there are no hard feelings 668 00:40:30,336 --> 00:40:32,919 and that we can remain friends. 669 00:40:35,033 --> 00:40:36,363 - Goodbye Major. 670 00:40:36,363 --> 00:40:40,530 I'll just get my things from the kitchen and be on my way. 671 00:40:45,066 --> 00:40:46,566 - Well, I did try. 672 00:40:48,029 --> 00:40:52,196 - Oh, of course you did darling, of course you did. 673 00:40:56,699 --> 00:40:59,292 - But what if the doctor carried out tests 674 00:40:59,292 --> 00:41:01,682 after the first black out. 675 00:41:01,682 --> 00:41:03,315 - The drug would show up wouldn't it? 676 00:41:03,315 --> 00:41:04,511 - Depends how long it was before 677 00:41:04,511 --> 00:41:06,548 the man went to see his doctor. 678 00:41:06,548 --> 00:41:08,282 - Well in the film the woman only pretends 679 00:41:08,282 --> 00:41:11,649 to phone the doc, I mean the guy recovers, feels okay 680 00:41:11,649 --> 00:41:13,719 wants to forget all about it. 681 00:41:13,719 --> 00:41:16,295 - Uh Hamish, according to the Major Serena tried 682 00:41:16,295 --> 00:41:18,602 to telephone the doctor in Tenner Reef 683 00:41:18,602 --> 00:41:20,386 but the man never showed up. 684 00:41:20,386 --> 00:41:21,219 - What? 685 00:41:24,460 --> 00:41:27,793 This is ridiculous you got me as paranoid as yourself. 686 00:41:27,793 --> 00:41:29,126 Hamish. 687 00:41:30,117 --> 00:41:30,950 - Anne. 688 00:41:34,612 --> 00:41:37,103 - Hamish I think you were right. 689 00:41:37,103 --> 00:41:38,753 - Yeah? 690 00:41:38,753 --> 00:41:40,836 Look, it is her isn't it? 691 00:41:42,490 --> 00:41:44,477 - Well I don't know, it could be. 692 00:41:44,477 --> 00:41:46,935 - I got it from Le Monde in 1989 693 00:41:46,935 --> 00:41:48,854 with a different name but the woman's husband 694 00:41:48,854 --> 00:41:51,354 was electrocuted accidentally. 695 00:42:08,820 --> 00:42:11,766 - Come on, I am dying of thirst. 696 00:42:19,022 --> 00:42:21,772 - We're going to be wrong surely. 697 00:42:22,675 --> 00:42:24,175 - We'll soon know. 698 00:42:26,295 --> 00:42:27,692 - Cheers 699 00:42:27,692 --> 00:42:28,618 my love. 700 00:42:28,618 --> 00:42:30,285 - Cheers my darling. 701 00:42:32,810 --> 00:42:34,140 - Mmm. 702 00:42:34,140 --> 00:42:35,975 Oh wedding cake. 703 00:42:35,975 --> 00:42:37,560 - Well get it later. 704 00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:38,893 - I want it now. 705 00:43:10,217 --> 00:43:12,634 - Any minute now Mr. McClain, 706 00:43:15,570 --> 00:43:16,820 any minute now. 707 00:43:25,082 --> 00:43:27,473 - Serena, we have visitors. 708 00:43:27,473 --> 00:43:29,998 - Stop, don't drink that. 709 00:43:29,998 --> 00:43:31,081 Major, Major. 710 00:43:33,062 --> 00:43:34,341 - What, what's going on? 711 00:43:34,341 --> 00:43:35,503 - We think it's poison Major. 712 00:43:35,503 --> 00:43:36,833 - Where's your wife? 713 00:43:36,833 --> 00:43:38,803 - She's in the kitchen. 714 00:43:43,651 --> 00:43:44,484 Hamish! 715 00:44:20,107 --> 00:44:21,740 - She's dead Hamish. 716 00:44:21,740 --> 00:44:22,573 - What? 717 00:44:24,467 --> 00:44:25,729 Serena. 718 00:44:25,729 --> 00:44:27,800 - Steady Major now, steady. 719 00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:31,302 - Wait somebody tell me what is going on here? 720 00:44:31,302 --> 00:44:34,383 - We think she was trying to poison you Major. 721 00:44:34,383 --> 00:44:35,965 And that she's murdered others. 722 00:44:35,965 --> 00:44:38,373 - Let me through, let me through here. 723 00:44:38,373 --> 00:44:39,206 Let me. 724 00:44:41,470 --> 00:44:42,303 Oh my god. 725 00:44:44,719 --> 00:44:46,706 What have I done? 726 00:44:46,706 --> 00:44:49,029 - What have you done? 727 00:44:49,029 --> 00:44:52,042 - I only wanted to give her a rash. 728 00:44:52,042 --> 00:44:54,164 Just a rash for her allergy? 729 00:44:54,164 --> 00:44:58,103 - Wait a minute just take it easy, tell us what happened. 730 00:44:58,103 --> 00:45:01,521 - It was to be my parting shot Hamish. 731 00:45:01,521 --> 00:45:05,342 I'd steam some labels off empty champagne bottles 732 00:45:05,342 --> 00:45:08,238 I didn't think I'd get a chance but when I came in here 733 00:45:08,238 --> 00:45:11,352 and saw the bottles in the ice bucket 734 00:45:11,352 --> 00:45:13,935 I stuck the old labels on them. 735 00:45:14,871 --> 00:45:18,254 I stuck the Verve label on the Bollet 736 00:45:18,254 --> 00:45:20,914 and the Bollet label on the Verve. 737 00:45:20,914 --> 00:45:24,483 - So the Major drank the Bollet thinking it was the Verve? 738 00:45:24,483 --> 00:45:28,170 - And she drank the Verve thinking it was the Bollet. 739 00:45:28,170 --> 00:45:30,920 - She drank her own poison Major. 740 00:45:31,992 --> 00:45:34,517 You're a very lucky man. 741 00:45:34,517 --> 00:45:36,352 - What kind of person? 742 00:45:36,352 --> 00:45:40,258 - Oh Major, now just you come with me, 743 00:45:40,258 --> 00:45:43,591 come away Major, this way, come on over. 744 00:45:48,860 --> 00:45:50,729 - Stay with her Doctor. 745 00:45:50,729 --> 00:45:51,896 - Sure Hamish. 746 00:46:01,082 --> 00:46:02,648 - Poor man. 747 00:46:02,648 --> 00:46:04,315 - He'll get over it. 748 00:46:05,847 --> 00:46:08,826 - Course there is an upside to all of this. 749 00:46:08,826 --> 00:46:09,993 - What's that? 750 00:46:11,032 --> 00:46:13,776 - Well, she was the Major's legal wife, 751 00:46:13,776 --> 00:46:16,359 so everything she's got is his. 752 00:46:17,345 --> 00:46:20,762 - You mean like yon villa in Tenner Reef? 753 00:46:32,934 --> 00:46:36,941 We'd better start looking out the sunblock then. 754 00:46:36,941 --> 00:46:38,191 Mmhmm. 755 00:46:58,691 --> 00:47:00,941 - Just came to say goodbye. 756 00:47:02,176 --> 00:47:03,009 - Okay. 757 00:47:03,961 --> 00:47:08,203 Can I ask you something? 758 00:47:08,203 --> 00:47:09,196 Mmhmm. 759 00:47:09,196 --> 00:47:13,113 - Why did you let me take full credit for this? 760 00:47:14,449 --> 00:47:15,282 - Well, 761 00:47:18,270 --> 00:47:19,187 I told you, 762 00:47:21,166 --> 00:47:25,038 you give me a glowing report and I'll make you 763 00:47:25,038 --> 00:47:26,738 the most famous rookie of all time. 764 00:47:28,557 --> 00:47:29,600 - Yes, 765 00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:31,419 oh but please it's 766 00:47:31,419 --> 00:47:32,586 it's not that. 767 00:47:33,910 --> 00:47:34,743 Is it? 768 00:47:40,947 --> 00:47:41,780 - No. 769 00:47:46,907 --> 00:47:50,055 You see I want to be here Anne. 770 00:47:50,055 --> 00:47:53,697 And to do that I have to keep a low profile. 771 00:47:53,697 --> 00:47:55,240 - Oh, 772 00:47:55,240 --> 00:47:56,073 I see. 773 00:47:57,277 --> 00:47:59,527 Well thanks for telling me. 774 00:48:05,290 --> 00:48:06,123 You know, 775 00:48:07,933 --> 00:48:11,014 I think I like the real you even better than the person 776 00:48:11,014 --> 00:48:12,681 you pretended to be. 777 00:48:15,913 --> 00:48:16,746 Goodbye. 778 00:48:20,257 --> 00:48:21,090 - Yeah.