1
00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:03,118
[♪]
2
00:00:03,151 --> 00:00:05,318
So Whatley's
still Jewish, huh?
3
00:00:05,351 --> 00:00:07,285
Oh, sure. Without the parents,
it's a breeze.
4
00:00:07,318 --> 00:00:08,385
[GIGGLES]
5
00:00:08,418 --> 00:00:10,318
Hey. Happy Hanukkah.
6
00:00:10,351 --> 00:00:11,818
Hey, Tim.
Great party.
7
00:00:11,851 --> 00:00:13,251
Yeah.
Huh?
8
00:00:13,285 --> 00:00:14,285
Uh.
Ah...
9
00:00:14,318 --> 00:00:15,918
Hey, George, thanks again
10
00:00:15,951 --> 00:00:17,651
for getting me
those Yankee tickets.
11
00:00:17,685 --> 00:00:19,818
Oh, yeah, still in good
with the ground crew. Heh.
12
00:00:19,851 --> 00:00:22,051
That's good.
Look, I'd better circulate.
13
00:00:22,085 --> 00:00:24,118
Happy Hanukkah,
Tiffany.
14
00:00:24,151 --> 00:00:27,651
This place is like
Studio 54 with a menorah.
15
00:00:27,685 --> 00:00:30,000
I'm gonna get some more of
these kosher cocktail franks.
16
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:30,085
I'm gonna get some more of
these kosher cocktail franks.
17
00:00:31,651 --> 00:00:34,885
Ooh, I got Denim Vest
checking me out.
18
00:00:34,918 --> 00:00:36,085
[CHUCKLES]
19
00:00:36,118 --> 00:00:37,818
Fake phone number's
coming out tonight.
20
00:00:37,851 --> 00:00:39,118
Oh, you have
a standard fake?
21
00:00:39,151 --> 00:00:40,118
Mm-hm.
22
00:00:40,151 --> 00:00:41,118
It spells out,
23
00:00:41,151 --> 00:00:43,085
"No Elaine."
24
00:00:43,118 --> 00:00:45,251
Isn't that eight letters?
25
00:00:45,285 --> 00:00:46,651
The extra E is for:
26
00:00:46,685 --> 00:00:48,618
"Ecchh."
27
00:00:48,651 --> 00:00:50,418
That's neat.
28
00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:52,251
Hm, Jerry, no, please.
29
00:00:52,285 --> 00:00:53,285
Denim Vest.
30
00:00:53,318 --> 00:00:54,751
He's smoothing it.
31
00:00:54,785 --> 00:00:55,851
Jerry. God!
32
00:00:56,451 --> 00:00:58,485
Hi.
33
00:00:58,518 --> 00:01:00,000
Hi, I'm Jerry.
Hi.
34
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:00,451
Hi, I'm Jerry.
Hi.
35
00:01:00,485 --> 00:01:01,985
You might not know it
to look at me,
36
00:01:02,018 --> 00:01:04,418
but I can run really,
really fast.
37
00:01:06,318 --> 00:01:07,751
Nice vest.
Oh.
38
00:01:07,785 --> 00:01:08,985
I like the...
39
00:01:09,018 --> 00:01:10,951
big metal buttons.
40
00:01:10,985 --> 00:01:12,285
They're snaps.
41
00:01:12,318 --> 00:01:14,285
Listen,
maybe we should, uh...
42
00:01:14,318 --> 00:01:15,451
go out sometime.
43
00:01:15,485 --> 00:01:17,585
Why don't I give you
my phone number?
44
00:01:21,085 --> 00:01:22,118
[♪]
45
00:01:22,832 --> 00:01:23,958
GEORGE:
How'd it go with that girl?
46
00:01:23,991 --> 00:01:25,958
Great. I'm going out
with her tomorrow night.
47
00:01:25,991 --> 00:01:27,625
How'd it go
with the cocktail franks?
48
00:01:27,658 --> 00:01:29,258
Great!
I ate the entire platter.
49
00:01:29,291 --> 00:01:30,791
Had to call in sick today.
50
00:01:30,825 --> 00:01:32,291
Didn't you call
in sick yesterday?
51
00:01:32,325 --> 00:01:34,291
Hey, I work for Kruger
Industrial Smoothing.
52
00:01:34,325 --> 00:01:36,291
"We don't care,
and it shows."
53
00:01:36,325 --> 00:01:37,758
You're gonna open
your mail here?
54
00:01:37,791 --> 00:01:40,758
Hey, at least I'm bringing
something to this.
55
00:01:40,791 --> 00:01:43,225
"Have you seen me?"
Nope.
56
00:01:43,258 --> 00:01:45,125
Ooh.
Something from Whatley.
57
00:01:45,158 --> 00:01:47,391
See? You give, and you get.
58
00:01:47,425 --> 00:01:49,425
This is what I'm trying
to teach you.
59
00:01:49,458 --> 00:01:50,205
"This holiday season, a donation
has been made in your name
60
00:01:50,205 --> 00:01:52,891
"This holiday season, a donation
has been made in your name
61
00:01:52,925 --> 00:01:55,391
to the Children's Alliance"?
Oh, that's nice.
62
00:01:55,425 --> 00:01:57,825
I got him Yankee tickets, he got
me a piece of paper saying,
63
00:01:57,858 --> 00:01:59,558
"I've given your gift
to someone else."
64
00:01:59,591 --> 00:02:00,591
To a children's charity.
65
00:02:00,625 --> 00:02:02,058
Don't you see
how wrong that is?
66
00:02:02,091 --> 00:02:03,458
Where's your Christmas spirit?
67
00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:05,291
An eye for an eye!
68
00:02:05,325 --> 00:02:07,425
Do me a favor, don't give me
anything this year.
69
00:02:08,491 --> 00:02:09,458
Hey.
70
00:02:09,491 --> 00:02:10,458
Hey.
71
00:02:11,491 --> 00:02:13,258
Oh, nothing for me.
72
00:02:13,291 --> 00:02:14,891
I'm going
to Atomic Sub later.
73
00:02:14,925 --> 00:02:16,458
Atomic Sub?
Why are you eating there?
74
00:02:16,491 --> 00:02:19,325
I got a card, and they stamp it
every time I buy a sub.
75
00:02:19,358 --> 00:02:20,205
Twenty-four stamps,
76
00:02:20,205 --> 00:02:20,391
Twenty-four stamps,
77
00:02:20,425 --> 00:02:23,091
and I become
a submarine captain.
78
00:02:23,125 --> 00:02:25,091
What does that mean?
79
00:02:25,125 --> 00:02:26,358
Free sub.
80
00:02:27,991 --> 00:02:29,558
[GROANS]
81
00:02:29,591 --> 00:02:31,091
What?
Nothing.
82
00:02:31,125 --> 00:02:32,791
It's a card from my dad.
83
00:02:32,825 --> 00:02:33,891
What is it?
84
00:02:33,925 --> 00:02:35,458
Elaine!
85
00:02:36,358 --> 00:02:39,758
"Dear son,
Happy Festivus."
86
00:02:39,791 --> 00:02:41,925
What is Festivus?
It's nothing.
87
00:02:41,958 --> 00:02:43,725
When George was growing up,
Jerry, no!
88
00:02:43,758 --> 00:02:45,058
his father hated
No!
89
00:02:45,091 --> 00:02:47,425
all the commercial and religious
aspects of Christmas,
90
00:02:47,458 --> 00:02:48,958
so he made up
his own holiday.
91
00:02:48,991 --> 00:02:50,205
Oh. And another piece
of the puzzle falls into place.
92
00:02:50,205 --> 00:02:52,625
Oh. And another piece
of the puzzle falls into place.
93
00:02:53,125 --> 00:02:54,091
All right.
94
00:02:54,125 --> 00:02:55,658
And instead of a tree,
95
00:02:55,691 --> 00:02:57,825
didn't your father put up
an aluminum pole?
96
00:02:57,858 --> 00:02:59,658
Jerry, stop it!
Weren't there feats
97
00:02:59,691 --> 00:03:01,758
of strength that always ended up
with you crying?
98
00:03:01,791 --> 00:03:03,625
I can't take it anymore.
I'm going to work!
99
00:03:03,658 --> 00:03:04,625
You happy now?
100
00:03:04,658 --> 00:03:06,425
[BOTH LAUGHING]
101
00:03:08,025 --> 00:03:09,325
KRAMER:
Hey, neighbor.
102
00:03:09,358 --> 00:03:11,725
Are you reading
my VCR manual?
103
00:03:11,758 --> 00:03:13,491
Well, we can't all
be reading the classics,
104
00:03:13,525 --> 00:03:15,458
Professor Highbrow.
105
00:03:15,491 --> 00:03:17,458
Oh, I can't believe it!
106
00:03:17,491 --> 00:03:19,891
I've lost
my Atomic Sub card.
107
00:03:19,925 --> 00:03:20,205
Oh, no.
108
00:03:20,205 --> 00:03:21,458
Oh, no.
109
00:03:21,491 --> 00:03:23,825
I bet I wrote that fake number
on the back of it
110
00:03:23,858 --> 00:03:26,391
when I gave it
to Denim Vest.
So?
111
00:03:26,425 --> 00:03:29,491
I've eaten 23 bad subs.
I just need one more.
112
00:03:29,525 --> 00:03:30,825
It's like a long,
bad movie,
113
00:03:30,858 --> 00:03:32,558
but you want to see
the end of it.
114
00:03:32,591 --> 00:03:34,125
No. You walk out.
All right.
115
00:03:34,158 --> 00:03:35,891
Then it's like
a boring book,
116
00:03:35,925 --> 00:03:37,058
but you gotta finish it.
117
00:03:37,091 --> 00:03:39,125
No. You wait for the movie.
118
00:03:40,191 --> 00:03:43,225
I want that free sub.
119
00:03:43,258 --> 00:03:45,291
You don't need the card.
120
00:03:45,325 --> 00:03:46,991
High-end hoagie outfit
like that,
121
00:03:47,025 --> 00:03:48,758
it's all computerized.
122
00:03:48,791 --> 00:03:50,205
Technology.
They're cloning sheep now.
123
00:03:50,205 --> 00:03:51,125
Technology.
They're cloning sheep now.
124
00:03:51,158 --> 00:03:53,225
KRAMER:
No, no, no.
They're not cloning sheep.
125
00:03:53,258 --> 00:03:54,891
It's the same sheep.
126
00:03:54,925 --> 00:03:56,758
I saw Harry Blackstone
do that trick
127
00:03:56,791 --> 00:03:58,591
with two goats
and a handkerchief
128
00:03:58,625 --> 00:04:00,991
on the old
Dean Martin Show.
129
00:04:02,325 --> 00:04:04,791
Oh, I gotta get ahold
of Denim Vest.
130
00:04:04,825 --> 00:04:06,491
So why don't you try
your blowoff number
131
00:04:06,525 --> 00:04:07,591
and see if he's called it?
132
00:04:07,625 --> 00:04:09,591
That's a good idea.
133
00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:10,991
[PHONE RINGS]
134
00:04:14,458 --> 00:04:16,225
Yeah, go.
135
00:04:16,258 --> 00:04:17,158
What?
136
00:04:18,458 --> 00:04:19,791
Really?
137
00:04:19,825 --> 00:04:20,205
Yeah, okay. Yeah. Bye.
138
00:04:20,205 --> 00:04:21,791
Yeah, okay. Yeah. Bye.
139
00:04:21,825 --> 00:04:24,325
Great news. Yeah.
The strike's been settled.
140
00:04:24,358 --> 00:04:26,458
I'm going back to work.
141
00:04:26,491 --> 00:04:27,458
What strike?
142
00:04:27,491 --> 00:04:28,458
Yeah, H and H Bagels.
143
00:04:28,491 --> 00:04:29,725
That's where I worked.
144
00:04:29,758 --> 00:04:30,725
You?
Worked?
145
00:04:30,758 --> 00:04:31,958
Bagels?
146
00:04:31,991 --> 00:04:34,291
Yeah, look, see? I still have
my business card.
147
00:04:34,325 --> 00:04:36,925
Yeah, we've been on strike
for 12 years, huh?
148
00:04:36,958 --> 00:04:39,591
Oh, I remember seeing
those guys picketing out there.
149
00:04:39,625 --> 00:04:41,558
But I haven't seen them
in a long time.
150
00:04:41,591 --> 00:04:43,725
Yeah, well, H and H wouldn't
let us use their bathroom
151
00:04:43,758 --> 00:04:45,391
while we were picketing.
152
00:04:45,425 --> 00:04:47,525
Kind of put a cramp
on our solidarity.
153
00:04:49,358 --> 00:04:50,205
What were your demands?
154
00:04:50,205 --> 00:04:51,558
What were your demands?
155
00:04:51,591 --> 00:04:54,791
Yeah, 5.35 an hour, and that's
what they're paying now.
156
00:04:54,825 --> 00:04:57,325
I believe that's
the new minimum wage.
157
00:04:57,358 --> 00:04:59,358
And now you know
who to thank for that.
158
00:05:00,291 --> 00:05:01,291
All right,
I gotta go.
159
00:05:01,325 --> 00:05:02,925
Why didn't you
ever mention this?
160
00:05:02,958 --> 00:05:04,091
[SIGHS]
161
00:05:04,125 --> 00:05:05,725
Well, Jerry,
I didn't want you to know
162
00:05:05,758 --> 00:05:06,725
I was out of work.
163
00:05:06,758 --> 00:05:08,091
It's embarrassing.
164
00:05:08,125 --> 00:05:10,125
[♪]
165
00:05:11,658 --> 00:05:12,991
KRAMER:
All right, everybody!
166
00:05:13,025 --> 00:05:14,291
I'm back!
167
00:05:16,625 --> 00:05:17,658
Who are you?
168
00:05:17,691 --> 00:05:20,158
Cosmo Kramer. Strike's over.
169
00:05:20,191 --> 00:05:20,205
Oh, yeah. Kramer.
170
00:05:20,205 --> 00:05:21,958
Oh, yeah. Kramer.
171
00:05:21,991 --> 00:05:24,458
Uh, what? Didn't any
of the other guys come back?
172
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:28,291
No. I'm sure they all got
other jobs, like, 10 years ago.
173
00:05:28,325 --> 00:05:30,658
Oh, man.
174
00:05:30,691 --> 00:05:33,658
Well, it kind of makes you
wonder what it was all for.
175
00:05:33,691 --> 00:05:35,725
I could use someone
for the holidays.
176
00:05:35,758 --> 00:05:38,091
All right. Toss me an apron!
Let's bagel!
177
00:05:42,325 --> 00:05:43,491
What are those?
178
00:05:43,525 --> 00:05:44,758
Those are raisin bagels.
179
00:05:45,991 --> 00:05:48,291
I never thought
I'd live to see that.
180
00:05:48,325 --> 00:05:49,391
[♪]
181
00:05:49,425 --> 00:05:50,205
ELAINE:
So, anyway, I've been giving out
182
00:05:50,205 --> 00:05:51,125
ELAINE:
So, anyway, I've been giving out
183
00:05:51,158 --> 00:05:53,558
your phone number
as my standard fake.
184
00:05:53,591 --> 00:05:56,391
So you're Elaine Benes.
185
00:05:56,425 --> 00:05:59,291
We've been getting calls
for you for five years.
186
00:05:59,325 --> 00:06:01,391
So, listen,
when this guy calls,
187
00:06:01,425 --> 00:06:03,391
if you could just give him
my real number.
188
00:06:03,425 --> 00:06:04,891
Hey, Charlie,
guess who's here.
189
00:06:04,925 --> 00:06:06,425
Elaine Benes.
190
00:06:06,458 --> 00:06:09,491
Elaine Benes!
191
00:06:09,525 --> 00:06:11,425
ALL:
Elaine Benes?
192
00:06:13,325 --> 00:06:15,491
MAN 1:
You make a lot
of man friends.
193
00:06:15,525 --> 00:06:16,825
You know who's a man?
194
00:06:16,858 --> 00:06:18,891
Charlie here.
He's a man.
195
00:06:18,925 --> 00:06:20,205
You know who else? Me.
196
00:06:20,205 --> 00:06:20,658
You know who else? Me.
197
00:06:20,691 --> 00:06:22,391
I'm a man.
198
00:06:22,425 --> 00:06:23,925
I'm a man.
199
00:06:23,958 --> 00:06:26,658
Oh, my.
200
00:06:26,691 --> 00:06:29,425
I'll have this Vest guy
call your real number.
201
00:06:29,458 --> 00:06:32,658
You just,
uh, give it to me,
202
00:06:32,691 --> 00:06:34,458
and that way,
I'll have it.
203
00:06:35,691 --> 00:06:38,591
My number? Uh...
204
00:06:39,925 --> 00:06:41,958
Okay, uh...
205
00:06:43,458 --> 00:06:45,591
There you go.
206
00:06:45,625 --> 00:06:47,125
And, uh--
207
00:06:47,158 --> 00:06:48,558
Tell you what, put a sawbuck
208
00:06:48,591 --> 00:06:50,205
on Captain Nemo
in the third at Belmont.
209
00:06:50,205 --> 00:06:50,858
on Captain Nemo
in the third at Belmont.
210
00:06:53,491 --> 00:06:54,891
TIM:
Hey, Jerry.
211
00:06:54,925 --> 00:06:56,458
Hey, Tim.
What's up?
212
00:06:56,491 --> 00:06:58,958
Actually, I'm having dinner
with a girl I met at your party.
213
00:06:58,991 --> 00:07:00,658
Mazel tov.
214
00:07:00,691 --> 00:07:01,791
Jerry.
215
00:07:01,825 --> 00:07:02,758
Hi.
216
00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:05,891
Gwen?
217
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,625
Yeah.
218
00:07:07,658 --> 00:07:08,658
Really?
219
00:07:08,691 --> 00:07:09,825
Yeah.
220
00:07:11,491 --> 00:07:13,025
Come on.
Our table's ready.
221
00:07:14,958 --> 00:07:15,991
Tsk.
222
00:07:16,025 --> 00:07:17,458
[♪]
223
00:07:17,491 --> 00:07:19,158
GEORGE:
So attractive one day,
224
00:07:19,191 --> 00:07:20,205
not attractive the next?
225
00:07:20,205 --> 00:07:20,558
not attractive the next?
226
00:07:20,591 --> 00:07:21,758
Have you come
across this?
227
00:07:21,791 --> 00:07:23,825
Yes, I am familiar
with this syndrome.
228
00:07:23,858 --> 00:07:25,458
She's a two-face.
229
00:07:25,491 --> 00:07:27,758
Like the Batman villain?
230
00:07:27,791 --> 00:07:29,358
If that helps you.
231
00:07:30,625 --> 00:07:31,658
So if I ask her out again,
232
00:07:31,691 --> 00:07:32,958
I don't know
who's showing up:
233
00:07:32,991 --> 00:07:34,325
the good, the bad,
or the ugly.
234
00:07:34,358 --> 00:07:35,325
Clint Eastwood!
235
00:07:35,358 --> 00:07:36,625
Yeah.
236
00:07:36,658 --> 00:07:38,058
Hey, check this out.
237
00:07:38,091 --> 00:07:40,591
I got to give Christmas presents
to everyone down at Kruger,
238
00:07:40,625 --> 00:07:41,958
so I'm pulling a Whatley.
239
00:07:41,991 --> 00:07:43,758
"A donation has
been made in your name
240
00:07:43,791 --> 00:07:44,958
to the Human Fund."
241
00:07:44,991 --> 00:07:45,958
What is that?
242
00:07:45,991 --> 00:07:47,425
Made it up.
243
00:07:48,491 --> 00:07:50,205
"The Human Fund.
244
00:07:50,205 --> 00:07:50,225
"The Human Fund.
245
00:07:50,258 --> 00:07:52,258
Money for people."
246
00:07:52,291 --> 00:07:53,558
What do you think?
247
00:07:53,591 --> 00:07:56,225
It has a certain
understated stupidity.
248
00:07:56,258 --> 00:07:58,091
The Outlaw Josey Wales!
249
00:07:59,091 --> 00:08:00,425
Yeah.
250
00:08:00,458 --> 00:08:02,491
Ah.
251
00:08:02,525 --> 00:08:03,625
Bagels on the house.
252
00:08:03,658 --> 00:08:04,725
Hey!
Ha-ha!
253
00:08:04,758 --> 00:08:05,891
How was your first day?
254
00:08:05,925 --> 00:08:07,625
Oh, fantastic.
It felt so good
255
00:08:07,658 --> 00:08:09,791
to get my hands back
in that dough.
256
00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:12,591
Your hands were
in the dough?
257
00:08:12,625 --> 00:08:14,125
No. I didn't
make these bagels.
258
00:08:16,091 --> 00:08:17,558
No, they're day-olds.
259
00:08:17,591 --> 00:08:19,791
The homeless
won't even touch 'em.
260
00:08:19,825 --> 00:08:20,205
Oh, we try to fool 'em by
putting a few fresh ones on top,
261
00:08:20,205 --> 00:08:22,091
Oh, we try to fool 'em by
putting a few fresh ones on top,
262
00:08:22,125 --> 00:08:23,091
but they dig. They--
263
00:08:23,125 --> 00:08:25,091
They test.
264
00:08:26,258 --> 00:08:27,558
All right, uh--
265
00:08:27,591 --> 00:08:29,058
Ah, I'm outta here.
266
00:08:29,091 --> 00:08:30,491
Happy Festivus.
267
00:08:30,525 --> 00:08:31,491
What's Festivus?
268
00:08:31,525 --> 00:08:33,158
When George was growing up
No!
269
00:08:33,191 --> 00:08:34,158
his father--
Stop it!
270
00:08:34,191 --> 00:08:35,258
It's nothing!
271
00:08:35,291 --> 00:08:37,091
It's a stupid holiday
my father invented.
272
00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:39,058
I-it doesn't exist!
273
00:08:39,091 --> 00:08:40,225
Happy Festivus,
Georgie.
274
00:08:40,258 --> 00:08:41,525
God!
275
00:08:42,825 --> 00:08:44,725
Frank invented a holiday?
276
00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:46,825
He's so prolific.
277
00:08:46,858 --> 00:08:49,725
Kramer, listen, I got
a little phone relay going,
278
00:08:49,758 --> 00:08:50,205
so if a guy calls H and H
279
00:08:50,205 --> 00:08:51,658
so if a guy calls H and H
280
00:08:51,691 --> 00:08:53,625
and he's looking for me,
you take a message.
281
00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:55,791
You're still trying
to get that free sub?
282
00:08:55,825 --> 00:08:58,258
Hey, I have spent
a lot of time,
283
00:08:58,291 --> 00:09:00,891
and I have eaten a lot of crap
284
00:09:00,925 --> 00:09:02,758
to get to where I am today,
285
00:09:02,791 --> 00:09:05,558
and I am not
throwing it all away now.
286
00:09:05,591 --> 00:09:07,891
Is there a captain's hat
involved in this?
287
00:09:07,925 --> 00:09:09,891
Maybe.
288
00:09:09,925 --> 00:09:11,391
[♪]
289
00:09:11,425 --> 00:09:13,591
FRANK:
Kramer, I got your message.
290
00:09:13,625 --> 00:09:16,058
I haven't celebrated
Festivus in years.
291
00:09:16,091 --> 00:09:17,158
What is your interest?
292
00:09:17,191 --> 00:09:18,958
Well, just tell me
everything, huh?
293
00:09:20,125 --> 00:09:20,205
Many Christmases ago,
294
00:09:20,205 --> 00:09:21,258
Many Christmases ago,
295
00:09:21,291 --> 00:09:23,825
I went to buy a doll
for my son.
296
00:09:23,858 --> 00:09:26,425
I reach for
the last one they had,
297
00:09:26,458 --> 00:09:29,058
but so did another man.
298
00:09:29,091 --> 00:09:30,991
As I rained blows
upon him,
299
00:09:31,025 --> 00:09:33,425
I realized there had
to be another way.
300
00:09:33,458 --> 00:09:34,725
What happened to the doll?
301
00:09:34,758 --> 00:09:35,925
It was destroyed.
302
00:09:35,958 --> 00:09:37,725
But out of that,
303
00:09:37,758 --> 00:09:39,991
a new holiday was born,
304
00:09:40,025 --> 00:09:43,158
a Festivus
for the rest of us!
305
00:09:43,191 --> 00:09:45,125
That must have been
some kind of doll.
306
00:09:45,958 --> 00:09:47,325
She was.
307
00:09:49,158 --> 00:09:50,205
[♪]
308
00:09:50,205 --> 00:09:50,491
[♪]
309
00:09:50,525 --> 00:09:52,958
GEORGE:
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas!
310
00:09:52,991 --> 00:09:54,091
Oh, Sandy.
311
00:09:54,125 --> 00:09:57,158
Here is a little
something for you.
312
00:09:57,191 --> 00:09:58,391
[CHUCKLES]
313
00:09:58,425 --> 00:09:59,958
Oh.
314
00:09:59,991 --> 00:10:00,958
Thanks.
315
00:10:00,991 --> 00:10:03,391
Phil, I loved those cigars.
316
00:10:03,425 --> 00:10:05,491
Incoming.
PHIL: Ow.
317
00:10:05,525 --> 00:10:08,125
Aw, Mr. Kruger, sir,
Merry Christmas.
318
00:10:08,158 --> 00:10:10,325
Not if you could
see our books.
319
00:10:10,358 --> 00:10:11,391
What is this?
320
00:10:11,425 --> 00:10:12,658
The Human Fund.
321
00:10:13,625 --> 00:10:15,758
Whatever.
Exactly.
322
00:10:15,791 --> 00:10:17,258
Erica!
323
00:10:17,291 --> 00:10:20,205
And at the Festivus dinner,
you gather your family around
324
00:10:20,205 --> 00:10:20,625
And at the Festivus dinner,
you gather your family around
325
00:10:20,658 --> 00:10:23,758
and tell them all the ways
they have disappointed you
326
00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:25,091
over the past year.
327
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:26,091
And is there a tree?
328
00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:27,925
No. Instead, there's a pole.
329
00:10:27,958 --> 00:10:29,891
Requires no decoration.
330
00:10:29,925 --> 00:10:32,658
I find tinsel distracting.
331
00:10:32,691 --> 00:10:34,225
Frank, this new holiday
of yours
332
00:10:34,258 --> 00:10:36,758
is scratching me
right where I itch.
333
00:10:36,791 --> 00:10:38,091
Let's do it, then.
All right.
334
00:10:38,125 --> 00:10:39,725
Festivus is back!
335
00:10:39,758 --> 00:10:41,458
I'll get the pole
out of the crawl space.
336
00:10:41,491 --> 00:10:42,658
All right.
337
00:10:42,691 --> 00:10:44,458
Hello, Frank.
Hello, woman.
338
00:10:45,525 --> 00:10:47,991
Kramer, Kramer,
any word from the Vest?
339
00:10:48,025 --> 00:10:49,325
Uh, no, no.
Oh.
340
00:10:49,358 --> 00:10:50,205
Uh, listen, Harry,
I need the 23rd off.
341
00:10:50,205 --> 00:10:51,758
Uh, listen, Harry,
I need the 23rd off.
342
00:10:51,791 --> 00:10:54,258
Hey, I hired you to work
during the holidays.
343
00:10:54,291 --> 00:10:55,658
This is the holidays.
344
00:10:55,691 --> 00:10:56,925
But it's Festivus.
345
00:10:56,958 --> 00:10:59,058
What?
You know you're infringing
346
00:10:59,091 --> 00:11:00,925
on my right to celebrate
new holidays.
347
00:11:00,958 --> 00:11:02,058
That's not a right.
348
00:11:02,091 --> 00:11:03,425
Well, it's going to be
349
00:11:03,458 --> 00:11:04,825
'cause I'm going back
on strike.
350
00:11:04,858 --> 00:11:06,225
Come on, Elaine.
351
00:11:06,258 --> 00:11:07,725
Yeah, it's a walkout!
352
00:11:07,758 --> 00:11:09,558
No, I gotta stay here
and wait for the call.
353
00:11:09,591 --> 00:11:10,891
You're siding with management?
354
00:11:10,925 --> 00:11:11,925
No, I'm just--
355
00:11:11,958 --> 00:11:13,958
Scab! Scab!
356
00:11:13,991 --> 00:11:15,491
Scab!
357
00:11:16,525 --> 00:11:17,558
Hey.
358
00:11:17,591 --> 00:11:19,325
Boy, am I glad
to see you.
359
00:11:19,358 --> 00:11:20,205
You were expecting
someone else?
360
00:11:20,205 --> 00:11:21,058
You were expecting
someone else?
361
00:11:21,091 --> 00:11:22,125
You never know.
362
00:11:22,158 --> 00:11:23,125
You know, you might want
363
00:11:23,158 --> 00:11:24,558
to take the tunnel.
364
00:11:24,591 --> 00:11:27,291
So, uh, what do you feel
like eating, Chinese or Italian?
365
00:11:28,325 --> 00:11:29,425
[GASPS]
366
00:11:30,825 --> 00:11:32,491
I could go either way.
367
00:11:33,525 --> 00:11:35,258
You're telling me.
368
00:11:39,491 --> 00:11:41,425
[♪]
369
00:11:42,326 --> 00:11:44,826
So she was switching
back and forth?
370
00:11:44,859 --> 00:11:46,026
The whole time.
371
00:11:46,059 --> 00:11:47,759
She was like
a 3-D baseball card
372
00:11:47,793 --> 00:11:49,859
that changes,
depending on the angle.
373
00:11:49,893 --> 00:11:52,193
So one minute she's pretty
and at the plate,
374
00:11:52,226 --> 00:11:54,726
and the next, she's ugly
and advancing the runners.
375
00:11:55,893 --> 00:11:57,026
So, what happened next?
376
00:11:57,059 --> 00:11:58,826
Well, we stopped by here,
and--
377
00:11:58,859 --> 00:12:01,093
Actually, the only place
she always looked good
378
00:12:01,126 --> 00:12:03,193
was in that back booth
over there.
379
00:12:03,226 --> 00:12:04,493
Well, so?
Just bring her here.
380
00:12:04,526 --> 00:12:06,126
This is all
you really need.
381
00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:08,193
I can't just keep bringing her
to the coffee shop.
382
00:12:08,226 --> 00:12:08,865
I mean, what if things,
you know, progress?
383
00:12:08,865 --> 00:12:10,359
I mean, what if things,
you know, progress?
384
00:12:10,393 --> 00:12:12,059
Lights out.
385
00:12:13,126 --> 00:12:14,993
All right,
I'll give it a shot.
386
00:12:15,026 --> 00:12:17,393
I do really like
this coffee shop.
387
00:12:18,393 --> 00:12:19,659
Nice cuff links,
by the way.
388
00:12:20,393 --> 00:12:21,526
Office Christmas gift.
389
00:12:21,559 --> 00:12:23,659
I tell you, this Human Fund
is a gold mine.
390
00:12:23,693 --> 00:12:25,759
That's not a French cuff shirt,
you know?
391
00:12:25,793 --> 00:12:26,826
I know. I cut the button off
392
00:12:26,859 --> 00:12:28,459
and poked a hole
with a letter opener.
393
00:12:28,493 --> 00:12:30,159
Oh, that's classy.
394
00:12:30,193 --> 00:12:31,559
[POLE SCRAPING FLOOR]
395
00:12:33,226 --> 00:12:35,493
Well, happy Festivus.
396
00:12:35,526 --> 00:12:37,859
What is that?
Is that the pole?
397
00:12:37,893 --> 00:12:38,865
George, Festivus is
your heritage.
398
00:12:38,865 --> 00:12:41,159
George, Festivus is
your heritage.
399
00:12:41,193 --> 00:12:42,993
It is part
of who you are.
400
00:12:43,026 --> 00:12:45,159
That's why I hate it.
401
00:12:45,193 --> 00:12:47,259
It's a big dinner Tuesday night
at Frank's house.
402
00:12:47,293 --> 00:12:48,226
Everyone's invited.
403
00:12:50,193 --> 00:12:51,959
George,
404
00:12:51,993 --> 00:12:55,193
you're forgetting how much
Festivus has meant to us all.
405
00:12:55,226 --> 00:12:57,993
I brought one
of the cassette tapes.
406
00:12:58,026 --> 00:12:59,659
FRANK [ON TAPE]:
Read that poem.
407
00:12:59,693 --> 00:13:01,493
GEORGE:
I can't read it.
I need my glasses.
408
00:13:01,526 --> 00:13:02,859
You don't need glasses!
409
00:13:02,893 --> 00:13:04,493
You're just weak!
You're weak!
410
00:13:04,526 --> 00:13:07,293
ESTELLE:
Leave him alone!
411
00:13:07,326 --> 00:13:08,865
All right, George.
412
00:13:08,865 --> 00:13:09,126
All right, George.
413
00:13:09,159 --> 00:13:13,193
It's time for the Festivus
feats of strength.
414
00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:14,593
No! No! Turn it off!
415
00:13:14,626 --> 00:13:16,526
No feats of strength!
416
00:13:16,559 --> 00:13:18,493
I hate Festivus!
Come on.
417
00:13:19,826 --> 00:13:21,293
We had some good times.
418
00:13:21,793 --> 00:13:22,826
Hey.
419
00:13:22,859 --> 00:13:26,526
Hi...there.
This is, uh, Kramer and Frank.
420
00:13:26,559 --> 00:13:27,593
Hi.
421
00:13:27,626 --> 00:13:30,093
[STAMMERING]
Hello.
422
00:13:30,126 --> 00:13:31,693
So you ready to go?
423
00:13:31,726 --> 00:13:33,359
Uh, why don't
we stay here?
424
00:13:33,393 --> 00:13:35,526
The, uh, back booth
just opened up.
425
00:13:42,459 --> 00:13:44,626
Now, this is
a good-looking both.
426
00:13:45,293 --> 00:13:47,126
[♪]
427
00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:48,193
Protect Festivus.
428
00:13:48,226 --> 00:13:50,426
Hey. No bagels.
No bagels. No bagels.
429
00:13:50,459 --> 00:13:52,259
Hey! No bagels.
No bagels. No bagels...
430
00:13:52,293 --> 00:13:54,259
MAN:
Lady, if you want a sandwich,
431
00:13:54,293 --> 00:13:55,793
I'll make you a sandwich.
432
00:13:55,826 --> 00:13:58,293
I want the one
that I earned.
433
00:13:58,326 --> 00:13:59,859
[RINGS]
434
00:13:59,893 --> 00:14:01,526
I'll get it.
I'll get it.
435
00:14:01,559 --> 00:14:03,126
H and H and Elaine.
436
00:14:03,159 --> 00:14:04,693
Elaine, you should get
out of there.
437
00:14:04,726 --> 00:14:07,459
I sabotaged the bagel machine
last night. It's going down.
438
00:14:07,493 --> 00:14:08,593
What did you do?
439
00:14:08,626 --> 00:14:08,865
You've been warned.
440
00:14:08,865 --> 00:14:10,126
You've been warned.
441
00:14:10,959 --> 00:14:12,659
Oh, hi.
442
00:14:14,059 --> 00:14:15,926
Hey, the steam valve
broke.
443
00:14:15,959 --> 00:14:17,426
Can we still make bagels?
444
00:14:17,459 --> 00:14:20,126
Sure. It's just
a little steamy.
445
00:14:21,159 --> 00:14:23,626
How do you like
your bagels now?
446
00:14:31,226 --> 00:14:33,493
George, I got
something for you.
447
00:14:33,526 --> 00:14:35,626
I'm supposed to, uh,
find a charity
448
00:14:35,659 --> 00:14:37,493
and throw some
of the company's money at it.
449
00:14:37,526 --> 00:14:38,693
They all seem
the same to me,
450
00:14:38,726 --> 00:14:38,865
so, what's the difference, hm?
451
00:14:38,865 --> 00:14:40,226
so, what's the difference, hm?
452
00:14:41,726 --> 00:14:43,359
Twenty thousand dollars?
453
00:14:43,393 --> 00:14:45,359
Made out to the Human Fund.
454
00:14:46,159 --> 00:14:47,293
Gee.
455
00:14:48,159 --> 00:14:49,293
Oh, damn.
456
00:14:49,326 --> 00:14:51,293
I've locked myself
out of my office again.
457
00:14:52,793 --> 00:14:56,526
All right.
I'm going home.
458
00:14:56,559 --> 00:14:58,359
[♪]
459
00:15:00,059 --> 00:15:01,259
GWEN:
Jerry,
460
00:15:01,293 --> 00:15:04,459
how many times do we have
to come to this...place?
461
00:15:04,493 --> 00:15:06,093
Why? It's our place.
462
00:15:06,126 --> 00:15:08,526
I just round a rubber band
in my soup.
463
00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:08,865
Oh, I know
who's cookin' today.
464
00:15:08,865 --> 00:15:10,726
Oh, I know
who's cookin' today.
465
00:15:11,626 --> 00:15:13,293
Hey, hey!
Surprise, surprise.
466
00:15:13,326 --> 00:15:14,859
Hey, Georgie.
467
00:15:14,893 --> 00:15:17,926
I think I'm just gonna go.
468
00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:19,159
I'll be here.
469
00:15:19,193 --> 00:15:21,693
GEORGE: Hey, soup.
She didn't touch it.
470
00:15:22,393 --> 00:15:23,826
Oh.
471
00:15:23,859 --> 00:15:24,859
[CHUCKLES]
472
00:15:24,893 --> 00:15:26,226
Paco.
473
00:15:27,793 --> 00:15:29,493
Whoo.
474
00:15:29,526 --> 00:15:32,193
Hey, look, take a look at this.
475
00:15:35,193 --> 00:15:37,159
Twenty thousand dollars
from Kruger?
476
00:15:37,193 --> 00:15:38,493
You're not keeping this?
477
00:15:38,526 --> 00:15:38,865
I don't know.
478
00:15:38,865 --> 00:15:40,193
I don't know.
479
00:15:40,226 --> 00:15:41,326
Excuse me?
480
00:15:41,359 --> 00:15:42,793
I've been doing
a lot of thinking,
481
00:15:42,826 --> 00:15:45,326
and this might be my chance
to start giving something back.
482
00:15:45,359 --> 00:15:48,459
You want to give something back,
start with the $20,000.
483
00:15:48,493 --> 00:15:49,593
I'm serious.
484
00:15:49,626 --> 00:15:51,493
You're gonna start
your own charity?
485
00:15:51,526 --> 00:15:53,093
I think I could be
a philanthropist,
486
00:15:53,126 --> 00:15:54,826
a kick-ass philanthropist.
487
00:15:54,859 --> 00:15:57,926
I would have all this money,
and people would love me.
488
00:15:57,959 --> 00:16:00,193
Then they would come
to me and beg,
489
00:16:00,226 --> 00:16:02,293
and if I felt like it,
I would help them out,
490
00:16:02,326 --> 00:16:04,359
and then they would
owe me big time!
491
00:16:05,659 --> 00:16:08,865
The first thing
I'm gonna need is a driver.
492
00:16:08,865 --> 00:16:08,926
The first thing
I'm gonna need is a driver.
493
00:16:08,959 --> 00:16:11,493
No bagels, no bagels,
no bagels, no bagels. Yow!
494
00:16:11,526 --> 00:16:13,959
Kramer, the Vest just called.
495
00:16:13,993 --> 00:16:17,026
Yamahama,
it's fright night.
496
00:16:18,159 --> 00:16:19,759
Oh, yeah,
I got a little steam bath,
497
00:16:19,793 --> 00:16:21,593
but, listen, in 10 minutes,
498
00:16:21,626 --> 00:16:24,459
I'm gonna have my hands
on that Atomic Sub card.
499
00:16:24,493 --> 00:16:25,459
And?
500
00:16:26,559 --> 00:16:28,159
Free sub.
501
00:16:29,559 --> 00:16:31,059
I'll see you.
Yeah.
502
00:16:32,526 --> 00:16:33,493
Oh.
503
00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:34,926
Kramer, hi.
504
00:16:34,959 --> 00:16:36,026
Oh, hello.
505
00:16:36,059 --> 00:16:38,193
It's Gwen. We met
at the coffee shop.
506
00:16:38,226 --> 00:16:38,865
Uh-huh.
507
00:16:38,865 --> 00:16:39,593
Uh-huh.
508
00:16:39,626 --> 00:16:41,593
I'm dating your friend Jerry.
509
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,826
I don't know
who you really are,
510
00:16:43,859 --> 00:16:45,626
but I've seen
Jerry's girlfriend,
511
00:16:45,659 --> 00:16:47,159
and she's not you.
512
00:16:47,193 --> 00:16:49,193
You're much better-looking
513
00:16:49,226 --> 00:16:50,993
and like a foot taller.
514
00:16:51,026 --> 00:16:55,026
That's why we're always
hiding in that coffee shop.
515
00:16:55,059 --> 00:16:56,759
He's afraid of getting caught.
516
00:16:56,793 --> 00:16:58,493
Oh, he's a tomcat.
517
00:16:59,126 --> 00:17:00,426
Steve.
518
00:17:00,459 --> 00:17:01,793
Hmm?
519
00:17:01,826 --> 00:17:02,926
It's Elaine.
520
00:17:02,959 --> 00:17:04,293
From Tim Whatley's party?
521
00:17:04,326 --> 00:17:06,959
Yeah.
You look--
522
00:17:06,993 --> 00:17:08,293
Different.
523
00:17:08,326 --> 00:17:08,865
Huh. I see you're still sticking
with the denim.
524
00:17:08,865 --> 00:17:11,293
Huh. I see you're still sticking
with the denim.
525
00:17:11,326 --> 00:17:13,159
So do you have that card
that I gave you?
526
00:17:13,193 --> 00:17:14,926
Well, I had it
back at my place,
527
00:17:14,959 --> 00:17:17,759
but I can't go there now.
528
00:17:17,793 --> 00:17:19,359
I'll give it to you later
or something.
529
00:17:19,393 --> 00:17:21,526
No, no, no, no.
You give me your number.
530
00:17:21,559 --> 00:17:23,193
Okay.
531
00:17:23,226 --> 00:17:24,193
Sure.
532
00:17:25,659 --> 00:17:26,859
Do you have the mumps?
533
00:17:26,893 --> 00:17:29,193
No.
Typhoid?
534
00:17:29,226 --> 00:17:30,759
No.
535
00:17:30,793 --> 00:17:32,826
Yamahama!
536
00:17:37,493 --> 00:17:38,865
A fake number.
537
00:17:38,865 --> 00:17:39,859
A fake number.
538
00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:41,026
Blimey!
539
00:17:41,059 --> 00:17:43,693
[♪]
540
00:17:43,726 --> 00:17:45,693
KRUGER:
George, we've got a problem.
541
00:17:45,726 --> 00:17:48,659
There's a memo here
from Accounting
542
00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:52,059
telling me there's no such thing
as the Human Fund.
543
00:17:54,659 --> 00:17:56,126
Well, there could be.
544
00:17:56,893 --> 00:17:59,326
But there isn't.
545
00:18:00,126 --> 00:18:01,993
Well, I-I could, uh--
546
00:18:02,026 --> 00:18:04,593
I could give
the money back. Here.
547
00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:06,459
George, I don't get it.
548
00:18:06,493 --> 00:18:07,993
If there's no Human Fund,
549
00:18:08,026 --> 00:18:08,865
those donation cards
were fake.
550
00:18:08,865 --> 00:18:10,826
those donation cards
were fake.
551
00:18:12,059 --> 00:18:13,493
You better have
a damn good reason
552
00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:16,326
why you gave me
a fake Christmas gift.
553
00:18:16,359 --> 00:18:17,493
Well, sir, I--
554
00:18:17,526 --> 00:18:22,326
I gave out the fake card
because, um--
555
00:18:22,359 --> 00:18:26,459
I don't really celebrate
Christmas. I, uh--
556
00:18:26,493 --> 00:18:29,626
I celebrate Festivus.
557
00:18:29,659 --> 00:18:31,826
Feminist?
Festivus, sir.
558
00:18:31,859 --> 00:18:35,093
And, uh, I was afraid
that I would be persecuted
559
00:18:35,126 --> 00:18:36,926
for my beliefs.
560
00:18:36,959 --> 00:18:38,865
They drove my family
out of Bayside, sir!
561
00:18:38,865 --> 00:18:39,693
They drove my family
out of Bayside, sir!
562
00:18:39,726 --> 00:18:41,526
Are you making
all this up too?
563
00:18:41,559 --> 00:18:42,526
Oh, no, sir.
564
00:18:42,559 --> 00:18:44,293
Festivus is all too real
565
00:18:44,326 --> 00:18:48,493
and...I could prove it,
if I have to.
566
00:18:48,526 --> 00:18:50,959
Yeah, you probably should.
567
00:18:50,993 --> 00:18:53,293
[♪]
568
00:18:53,326 --> 00:18:54,593
GEORGE:
Happy Festivus!
569
00:18:54,626 --> 00:18:56,293
FRANK:
George, this is a surprise.
570
00:18:56,326 --> 00:18:57,359
Who's the suit?
571
00:18:57,393 --> 00:19:00,293
Oh, Dad, this is my boss,
Mr. Kruger.
572
00:19:01,193 --> 00:19:02,793
Have you seen
the pole, Kruger?
573
00:19:02,826 --> 00:19:04,293
No, he doesn't need
to see the pole.
574
00:19:04,326 --> 00:19:06,159
He's gonna see it.
575
00:19:08,459 --> 00:19:08,865
Happy Festivus.
576
00:19:08,865 --> 00:19:09,826
Happy Festivus.
577
00:19:10,993 --> 00:19:12,159
Yamahama.
578
00:19:12,193 --> 00:19:13,459
I didn't have time
to go home.
579
00:19:13,493 --> 00:19:14,793
What are you doing here?
580
00:19:14,826 --> 00:19:16,293
Embracing my roots.
581
00:19:16,326 --> 00:19:17,759
They nailed you
on the 20 G's?
582
00:19:17,793 --> 00:19:18,859
Busted cold.
583
00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:21,693
It's made from aluminum.
584
00:19:21,726 --> 00:19:24,259
Very high
strength-to-weight ratio.
585
00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:26,859
I find your belief system
fascinating.
586
00:19:27,559 --> 00:19:28,759
[LAUGHING]
587
00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:31,159
Hey! Happy Festivus, everyone!
588
00:19:31,193 --> 00:19:32,593
[GIGGLES]
589
00:19:32,626 --> 00:19:34,693
Hello again, Miss Benes.
590
00:19:34,726 --> 00:19:36,459
What are you doing here?
591
00:19:36,493 --> 00:19:38,793
Damnedest thing, uh,
me and Charlie were calling
592
00:19:38,826 --> 00:19:38,865
to ask you out, and, uh,
we got this bagel place.
593
00:19:38,865 --> 00:19:42,093
to ask you out, and, uh,
we got this bagel place.
594
00:19:42,126 --> 00:19:44,459
I told them
I was just about to see you.
595
00:19:44,493 --> 00:19:47,126
It's a Festivus miracle!
596
00:19:47,159 --> 00:19:49,026
Dinner's ready.
597
00:19:49,059 --> 00:19:50,459
Let's begin.
598
00:19:51,326 --> 00:19:52,926
KRUGER:
Oh.
599
00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:54,659
Dr. Van Nostrand.
600
00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:57,826
Huh?
Oh, uh, that's right.
601
00:19:59,293 --> 00:20:01,159
FRANK:
Welcome, newcomers.
602
00:20:02,659 --> 00:20:05,326
The tradition
of Festivus begins
603
00:20:05,359 --> 00:20:07,593
with the airing
of grievances.
604
00:20:07,626 --> 00:20:08,865
I got a lot of problems
with you people!
605
00:20:08,865 --> 00:20:09,826
I got a lot of problems
with you people!
606
00:20:09,859 --> 00:20:11,359
And now,
607
00:20:11,393 --> 00:20:12,693
you're gonna hear about it.
608
00:20:12,726 --> 00:20:14,659
You, Kruger,
609
00:20:14,693 --> 00:20:17,526
my son tells me
your company stinks!
610
00:20:17,559 --> 00:20:18,559
Oh, God.
611
00:20:20,226 --> 00:20:22,193
Quiet. You'll get yours
in a minute.
612
00:20:22,226 --> 00:20:24,826
Kruger,
613
00:20:24,859 --> 00:20:26,626
you couldn't smooth
a silk sheet
614
00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:28,893
if you had a hot date
with a babe--
615
00:20:31,393 --> 00:20:32,993
I lost my train of thought.
616
00:20:33,659 --> 00:20:34,559
[DOOR OPENS]
617
00:20:37,059 --> 00:20:38,026
Jerry.
618
00:20:38,059 --> 00:20:38,865
Gwen, how did you know
I was here?
619
00:20:38,865 --> 00:20:40,859
Gwen, how did you know
I was here?
620
00:20:40,893 --> 00:20:42,193
Kramer told me.
621
00:20:42,226 --> 00:20:44,526
Another Festivus miracle!
622
00:20:47,193 --> 00:20:49,726
I guess this is the ugly girl
I've been hearing about.
623
00:20:51,026 --> 00:20:53,259
Hey, I was in
a shvitz for six hours.
624
00:20:53,293 --> 00:20:54,693
Give me a break.
625
00:20:54,726 --> 00:20:55,959
[GWEN GRUNTS]
626
00:20:55,993 --> 00:20:58,926
Gwen! Gwen, wait!
627
00:20:58,959 --> 00:21:00,626
[JERRY YELPS]
628
00:21:00,659 --> 00:21:02,693
Bad lighting on the porch.
629
00:21:02,726 --> 00:21:05,093
Hey, how did my horse do?
630
00:21:05,126 --> 00:21:06,926
He had to be shot.
631
00:21:06,959 --> 00:21:08,859
[MOUTHS]
Yeah.
632
00:21:08,893 --> 00:21:11,159
And now as Festivus
rolls on,
633
00:21:11,193 --> 00:21:12,959
we come to the feats
of strength.
634
00:21:12,993 --> 00:21:14,659
Not the feats
of strength.
635
00:21:14,693 --> 00:21:17,459
This year,
the honor goes to Mr. Kramer.
636
00:21:18,159 --> 00:21:19,293
Uh-oh.
637
00:21:19,326 --> 00:21:21,326
Oh, gee, Frank,
I'm sorry. I gotta go.
638
00:21:21,359 --> 00:21:23,493
I have to work
a double shift at H and H.
639
00:21:23,526 --> 00:21:24,959
I thought
you were on strike.
640
00:21:24,993 --> 00:21:26,126
Yeah, well, I caved.
641
00:21:26,159 --> 00:21:28,159
I mean, I really had
to use their bathroom.
642
00:21:28,193 --> 00:21:30,326
Frank, no offense,
but this holiday's a little--
643
00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:31,426
[TOOTING]
644
00:21:31,459 --> 00:21:32,593
--out there.
645
00:21:32,626 --> 00:21:33,793
Kramer, you-- You can't go!
646
00:21:33,826 --> 00:21:35,859
Who's gonna do
the feats of strength?
647
00:21:35,893 --> 00:21:37,326
How 'bout George?
648
00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:38,326
[DOOR OPENS]
649
00:21:39,059 --> 00:21:40,393
Good thinking, Kruger.
650
00:21:41,993 --> 00:21:44,293
Until you pin me,
George,
651
00:21:44,326 --> 00:21:45,793
Festivus is not over.
652
00:21:45,826 --> 00:21:49,026
Oh, please.
Somebody stop this.
653
00:21:49,059 --> 00:21:50,526
Let's rumble!
654
00:21:51,893 --> 00:21:53,793
ESTELLE:
I think you can take him,
Georgie.
655
00:21:53,826 --> 00:21:55,293
GEORGE:
Hey, come on! Be sensible.
656
00:21:55,326 --> 00:21:57,159
FRANK:
Stop crying,
and fight your father!
657
00:21:57,193 --> 00:21:58,759
GEORGE:
Ow, ow! I give, I give!
658
00:21:58,793 --> 00:22:00,126
This is the best
Festivus ever!
659
00:22:00,159 --> 00:22:02,026
Uncle! Uncle!
660
00:22:04,059 --> 00:22:05,993
[♪]
661
00:22:30,526 --> 00:22:33,155
All right, that's enough.
You're fired.
662
00:22:33,155 --> 00:22:33,493
All right, that's enough.
You're fired.
663
00:22:33,526 --> 00:22:36,259
Thank you.
664
00:22:36,293 --> 00:22:37,793
[♪]