1 00:01:12,147 --> 00:01:13,488 Blue Moon Detective Agency. 2 00:01:13,649 --> 00:01:15,736 Sorry for not answering on the first ring... 3 00:01:15,900 --> 00:01:17,988 ...but we're cleaning, preparing for spring. 4 00:01:18,154 --> 00:01:20,157 Getting rid of the old to make room new... 5 00:01:20,322 --> 00:01:22,328 ...so we give every client his or her due. 6 00:01:22,490 --> 00:01:24,995 Sorry, operator, we cannot accept... 7 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:28,210 ...an out-of-state call that is collect. 8 00:01:42,512 --> 00:01:44,185 Oh, Herbert. 9 00:02:28,184 --> 00:02:31,067 You, guys. You, guys. 10 00:02:31,270 --> 00:02:33,275 I don't think this is a good idea. 11 00:02:52,541 --> 00:02:54,630 Stop it this instant. 12 00:02:55,921 --> 00:02:58,055 I tried to tell them. 13 00:02:58,214 --> 00:03:00,137 I wanna see Mr. Addison in my office. 14 00:03:00,300 --> 00:03:01,641 Mr. Addison isn't here. 15 00:03:01,842 --> 00:03:03,562 He had a bowling tournament. 16 00:03:04,138 --> 00:03:05,609 You did this on your own? 17 00:03:07,390 --> 00:03:09,228 Mr. Addison didn't incite you? 18 00:03:10,894 --> 00:03:12,283 He didn't put you up to this? 19 00:03:15,399 --> 00:03:17,985 I'm very disappointed in you. 20 00:03:18,152 --> 00:03:19,362 In you, Mr. O'Nea|. 21 00:03:19,528 --> 00:03:22,293 In you, Mr. Viola and you, MacGi|icuddy. 22 00:03:22,447 --> 00:03:24,203 -He started it. -Did not. 23 00:03:24,366 --> 00:03:26,454 -Did too. -I don't care who started it. 24 00:03:26,618 --> 00:03:29,336 I thought you were mature enough to leave unsupervised... 25 00:03:29,496 --> 00:03:31,049 ...but I guess I was wrong. 26 00:03:31,206 --> 00:03:33,756 As punishment I want you in your seats... 27 00:03:33,917 --> 00:03:36,054 ...with you heads down for a full 30-minutes. 28 00:03:36,836 --> 00:03:38,558 -You're kidding? -Did you hear me? 29 00:03:38,756 --> 00:03:41,140 In your seats, heads on your desks. 30 00:03:42,342 --> 00:03:44,597 Do you want Mr. Addison to hear about this? 31 00:03:51,727 --> 00:03:55,738 Agnes, would you give me a hand with these, please? 32 00:03:58,110 --> 00:03:59,948 MacGi|icuddy, I am telling. 33 00:04:00,152 --> 00:04:01,993 And no talking to our neighbours. 34 00:04:02,156 --> 00:04:04,492 This is quiet time. 35 00:04:09,704 --> 00:04:11,792 Boy, oh, boy. 36 00:04:12,665 --> 00:04:15,002 Did this place ever need a spring cleaning? 37 00:04:15,168 --> 00:04:16,378 I can imagine. 38 00:04:16,544 --> 00:04:19,593 Just the Anselmo case alone filled a whole dumpster. 39 00:04:19,757 --> 00:04:21,725 Agnes, do you have any idea... 40 00:04:21,883 --> 00:04:25,062 ...when Mr. Addison's gonna be back from his bowling tournament? 41 00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:26,477 He wasn't sure exactly. 42 00:04:26,639 --> 00:04:29,142 It depends on how long the awards luncheon lasts. 43 00:04:29,350 --> 00:04:31,568 I can't help feeling this ship is out of shape. 44 00:04:31,768 --> 00:04:35,481 Lately, everyone around here has either been cutting up or cutting out. 45 00:04:35,689 --> 00:04:37,742 Well, everyone's a little tired. 46 00:04:37,900 --> 00:04:40,201 We've been going gangbusters for five years now. 47 00:04:40,404 --> 00:04:42,988 -A lot of blood under the bridge. -The tired talking? 48 00:04:43,197 --> 00:04:44,787 I guess I am pretty tired. 49 00:04:44,950 --> 00:04:48,710 Though most of the time when I think about it, I really would miss this place. 50 00:04:48,870 --> 00:04:52,713 All those people who have sat in that chair telling me their stories. 51 00:04:52,873 --> 00:04:54,381 And I certainly would miss you. 52 00:04:54,584 --> 00:04:56,553 I'd miss you too, Ms. Hayes. 53 00:04:56,711 --> 00:04:59,214 And Viola and MacGi|icuddy and the rest of them... 54 00:04:59,380 --> 00:05:01,386 ...though I feel like wringing their necks. 55 00:05:01,591 --> 00:05:02,980 And Mr. Addison? 56 00:05:03,176 --> 00:05:06,059 l'd particularly would like to wring his neck. 57 00:05:06,220 --> 00:05:09,602 Though I can't imagine coming to work and not finding him hell-bent... 58 00:05:09,766 --> 00:05:11,438 ...on making my life miserable. 59 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,442 Come in. 60 00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:14,778 Excuse me, Ms. Hayes. 61 00:05:14,979 --> 00:05:17,698 I don't recall giving you permission to leave your desk. 62 00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:20,783 You didn't, but there is a client here to see you. 63 00:05:20,944 --> 00:05:22,616 Although I am being disciplined... 64 00:05:22,778 --> 00:05:26,741 ...I took the liberty to beg him not to leave, at least until he'd spoken to you. 65 00:05:26,908 --> 00:05:29,245 Agnes, would you see him in, please. 66 00:05:35,084 --> 00:05:36,341 Ms. Hayes. 67 00:05:36,543 --> 00:05:38,714 I will be eternally penitent... 68 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:42,053 ...for the role I played in that tomfoolery out there. 69 00:05:42,216 --> 00:05:44,517 But I want you to know that MacGi|icuddy... 70 00:05:44,676 --> 00:05:47,524 -...really was the one who started it. -Did not. 71 00:05:48,055 --> 00:05:49,563 Out. 72 00:05:58,274 --> 00:05:59,448 Hello. 73 00:05:59,649 --> 00:06:01,240 Hello, my name is Ash. Brock Ash. 74 00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:03,035 Hello, Mr. Ash. I'm Madelyn Hayes. 75 00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:06,002 -Mind if I sit down? -Oh, not at all. Please. 76 00:06:10,994 --> 00:06:12,169 -Are you all right? -No... 77 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:15,213 -...but there's nothing you can do. -How may I help you? 78 00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:17,885 -You can save me from oblivion. -Excuse me? 79 00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:19,557 A perfect crime was committed. 80 00:06:19,714 --> 00:06:23,094 One which the combined resources of the police, FBI, Interpol... 81 00:06:23,258 --> 00:06:26,520 ...and several insurance companies have as yet been unable to solve. 82 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,734 What makes you think we can succeed where so many others failed? 83 00:06:29,891 --> 00:06:31,065 Don't solve the crime... 84 00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:33,609 -...I want you to prove I did it. -Come again. 85 00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:36,196 I won't bore you with the details of my illness... 86 00:06:36,356 --> 00:06:38,359 ...but I've seen better days. 87 00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:40,446 I'm over the anger and past the denial... 88 00:06:40,610 --> 00:06:42,863 ...but the only thing standing between me... 89 00:06:43,029 --> 00:06:45,329 ...and acceptance of my fate are a few regrets. 90 00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:47,335 When I die my name dies with me. 91 00:06:47,492 --> 00:06:49,710 My wife preceded me. I have no issue. 92 00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:53,298 My only legacy will be a two-line obituary of interest to no one. 93 00:06:53,498 --> 00:06:55,966 And that scares the hell out of me. 94 00:06:56,292 --> 00:06:59,554 All I've accomplished is this deed, this crime. My one success. 95 00:06:59,712 --> 00:07:01,930 Such a success, in fact... 96 00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:03,513 ...no one knows I did it. 97 00:07:03,717 --> 00:07:06,135 You wanna be remembered for committing a crime? 98 00:07:06,344 --> 00:07:09,310 Herostratus has been remembered for thousands of years... 99 00:07:09,473 --> 00:07:12,900 ...as the one responsible for the destruction of the Temple of Artemis. 100 00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:15,989 One of the great wonders of the ancient world... 101 00:07:16,145 --> 00:07:18,067 ...he burned it to the ground. 102 00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:21,530 Yet history never recorded the name of the man who built it. 103 00:07:21,693 --> 00:07:23,993 People are remembered for all sorts of things. 104 00:07:24,195 --> 00:07:25,952 My wish is to be remembered at all. 105 00:07:26,157 --> 00:07:29,288 What do you need a detective for? Why don't you turn yourself in? 106 00:07:29,492 --> 00:07:32,173 I have several times. So have dozens of others. 107 00:07:32,371 --> 00:07:35,753 The crime I committed nearly 25 years ago created quite a stir. 108 00:07:35,958 --> 00:07:38,093 And the artefacts I took were priceless. 109 00:07:38,293 --> 00:07:40,548 So every nut's been trying to get into the act? 110 00:07:40,754 --> 00:07:43,091 Exactly. Anyone can claim they did it. 111 00:07:43,257 --> 00:07:44,727 The facts are well documented. 112 00:07:44,882 --> 00:07:48,063 But there is one person who can actually link me to the theft. 113 00:07:48,263 --> 00:07:49,685 -I want you to find him. -Who? 114 00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:52,144 The security guard on duty that night. 115 00:07:52,308 --> 00:07:54,479 There's a detail he left out of his statement. 116 00:07:54,643 --> 00:07:57,407 A detail that only he and I know about. 117 00:07:58,438 --> 00:08:02,615 Now, this is a snapshot of me the day before the robbery. 118 00:08:03,152 --> 00:08:04,873 -Who's the woman? -My wife, Karen. 119 00:08:05,070 --> 00:08:07,373 -She was beautiful. -Yes, she was. 120 00:08:07,532 --> 00:08:10,380 That night when I made my way to the exhibit... 121 00:08:10,534 --> 00:08:13,464 ...Karen had arranged to distract the guard in the stairwell. 122 00:08:13,662 --> 00:08:16,000 This fellow had an eye for a well-turned ankle. 123 00:08:16,208 --> 00:08:19,838 With the prospect of enormous wealth, Karen was willing to turn a lot more. 124 00:08:20,045 --> 00:08:21,682 -Your wife? -The irony was... 125 00:08:21,838 --> 00:08:24,768 ...all the money went to pay her hospital bills years later. 126 00:08:24,924 --> 00:08:27,688 I don't know where this guard is or if he's still alive... 127 00:08:27,845 --> 00:08:30,263 ...but if he is and you can locate him... 128 00:08:30,430 --> 00:08:33,395 ...then I can come forward. I can leave my mark. 129 00:08:33,934 --> 00:08:35,772 Then I can die. 130 00:08:37,145 --> 00:08:39,316 Will you take my case, Ms. Hayes? 131 00:08:47,657 --> 00:08:49,163 I do wish you'd reconsider. 132 00:08:49,324 --> 00:08:50,996 I'm sorry, Mr. Ash. 133 00:08:51,159 --> 00:08:53,295 Perhaps if I doubled your fee. 134 00:08:53,454 --> 00:08:55,175 Money really isn't the issue here. 135 00:08:55,331 --> 00:08:57,134 This case just isn't my cup of tea. 136 00:08:57,333 --> 00:09:00,298 Well, if you change your mind, here's my card. 137 00:09:00,503 --> 00:09:02,922 Mr. Viola would you see Mr. Ash to his car, please? 138 00:09:03,088 --> 00:09:05,142 -Really, that's not necessary. -I insist. 139 00:09:05,342 --> 00:09:07,892 -You're very considerate. -Good luck. 140 00:09:08,552 --> 00:09:10,143 Thank you. 141 00:09:35,998 --> 00:09:39,094 Strike. Yes. 142 00:09:40,626 --> 00:09:43,475 -Good morning, Maddie. -Good afternoon, David. 143 00:09:43,631 --> 00:09:46,180 -You got the message, right? -I got the message. 144 00:09:46,383 --> 00:09:47,973 -I didn't inconvenience you. -No. 145 00:09:48,178 --> 00:09:50,395 -You're not mad? -Do whatever you have to do... 146 00:09:50,555 --> 00:09:53,520 -...to make yourself happy. -That a girl. Finally catching on. 147 00:09:53,683 --> 00:09:56,316 So who was the deadbeat I saw Viola walking out? 148 00:09:56,518 --> 00:09:58,737 -A case that won't be. -Looking for a freebie? 149 00:09:58,938 --> 00:10:00,659 -I didn't like the story. -Which was? 150 00:10:00,815 --> 00:10:03,235 If you'd come to work instead of hanging out... 151 00:10:03,401 --> 00:10:04,742 ...you'd hear for yourself. 152 00:10:04,945 --> 00:10:05,989 -What's his name? -Who? 153 00:10:06,154 --> 00:10:07,742 -The client. -He's not a client. 154 00:10:07,946 --> 00:10:11,542 He wants to give us his hard-earned money and you turn him away? 155 00:10:11,743 --> 00:10:13,332 We shouldn't work with criminals. 156 00:10:13,535 --> 00:10:15,459 -He was a criminal? -He is a criminal. 157 00:10:15,664 --> 00:10:17,549 -What's he wanted for? -He's not wanted. 158 00:10:17,749 --> 00:10:19,588 -Then what's he not wanted for? -David. 159 00:10:19,792 --> 00:10:22,129 You can't leave without telling me. 160 00:10:22,296 --> 00:10:24,595 I've got work to do. I don't have time for this. 161 00:10:24,796 --> 00:10:28,013 -I have a right to know. -Then will you get out? 162 00:10:28,219 --> 00:10:32,359 I'll do better than that. I'll get out of the building. I'll go to lunch, again. 163 00:10:33,224 --> 00:10:34,694 His name is Ash. 164 00:10:34,850 --> 00:10:37,864 He committed a crime and he wants someone to prove he did it. 165 00:10:38,020 --> 00:10:40,701 And you let him walk out of here? Maddie, how could you. 166 00:10:40,855 --> 00:10:42,694 David, we're not glorifying criminals. 167 00:10:42,857 --> 00:10:44,365 How about glorifying ourselves? 168 00:10:44,527 --> 00:10:47,540 Unsolved Mysteries, uncracked crimes, TV's 10 top most wanted. 169 00:10:47,695 --> 00:10:50,201 There's a tidal wave of trash sweeping this country. 170 00:10:50,367 --> 00:10:53,330 Maybe we could get somebody to hit Morton Downey with a chair. 171 00:10:55,245 --> 00:10:58,839 Boy, Maddie, I thought I knew you, but denying a dying man his last wish. 172 00:10:58,998 --> 00:11:01,847 How can you champion his cause when you weren't here? 173 00:11:02,044 --> 00:11:03,800 A testimonial to your skills. 174 00:11:04,004 --> 00:11:05,926 He's a criminal. We're not going to help. 175 00:11:06,131 --> 00:11:10,391 Stop the presses. Criminal comes to Blue Moon wants them to take the case. 176 00:11:10,595 --> 00:11:13,525 The only difference between this guy and every other clown... 177 00:11:13,682 --> 00:11:17,359 ...is that we don't gotta go through six talks in a car, two pair of shoes... 178 00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:20,982 ...couple of sets of stunt doubles going through some elaborate chase... 179 00:11:21,188 --> 00:11:24,404 ...just to find out that he's the criminal. I find that refreshing. 180 00:11:24,567 --> 00:11:26,406 Maybe I've been misled a few of times. 181 00:11:26,568 --> 00:11:28,373 My intent was always to help people. 182 00:11:28,572 --> 00:11:31,787 -The man wants to confess. -Not for remorse. He's after stardom. 183 00:11:31,949 --> 00:11:34,631 Somebody's gotta take the blame, which rhymes with fame. 184 00:11:34,786 --> 00:11:36,922 Might as well be him and might as well be us. 185 00:11:37,122 --> 00:11:39,803 David, I know the concept of morality is foreign to you. 186 00:11:39,959 --> 00:11:41,002 But I'm sorry. 187 00:11:41,168 --> 00:11:43,089 Hello, yeah. Give me the lobby, please. 188 00:11:44,046 --> 00:11:46,549 Security, this is David Addison up in Blue Moon. 189 00:11:46,757 --> 00:11:49,308 Adult male, 5'10", not long for this world, 190 00:11:49,468 --> 00:11:51,770 with a short guy with a little moth-eaten beard. 191 00:11:51,929 --> 00:11:53,602 Don't let them out. Be right down. 192 00:11:54,472 --> 00:11:55,814 We're not taking this case. 193 00:11:56,017 --> 00:11:59,444 Oh, yeah, like we're not gonna really take the case. 194 00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:03,441 Ms. Van Breegle, yes, I understand your position... 195 00:12:03,607 --> 00:12:05,362 ...but try to understand mine. 196 00:12:05,526 --> 00:12:08,825 There's a larger issue than the confidentiality of your records. 197 00:12:09,195 --> 00:12:10,750 I need to find Duncan Kennedy. 198 00:12:10,948 --> 00:12:15,207 If I don't find a liver donor for my patient soon-- What do you mean? 199 00:12:15,411 --> 00:12:17,498 That's why the good Lord gave us two. 200 00:12:17,705 --> 00:12:21,964 What? Well, you can stick Gray's Anatomy up your-- 201 00:12:24,963 --> 00:12:27,014 -What did you find out? -The big goose egg. 202 00:12:27,172 --> 00:12:29,061 -And I believe you meant kidneys. -What? 203 00:12:29,218 --> 00:12:31,102 Never mind. How about you, any luck? 204 00:12:31,302 --> 00:12:32,643 That was the museum curator. 205 00:12:32,804 --> 00:12:35,190 Sorry but I can't release any information on my-- 206 00:12:35,390 --> 00:12:37,312 -Damn. -Yeah, you said a mouthful. 207 00:12:37,476 --> 00:12:39,562 I got a guy from Reuters coming over here... 208 00:12:39,728 --> 00:12:43,820 ...talking about a big cash bonus for an exclusive on the Brock Ash case. 209 00:12:44,316 --> 00:12:47,614 Mr. Viola, I believe this calls for a covert operation. 210 00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:50,160 I was hoping you'd say that, sir. 211 00:12:50,364 --> 00:12:51,953 David... 212 00:12:52,449 --> 00:12:55,129 ...for the last time we're not cashing in on this crime. 213 00:12:55,328 --> 00:12:57,498 -Okay, case closed. -What? 214 00:12:57,705 --> 00:12:58,831 Romans have a saying: 215 00:12:58,997 --> 00:13:01,086 If enough people tell you your fly's open... 216 00:13:01,250 --> 00:13:02,970 ...then maybe you should look down. 217 00:13:03,585 --> 00:13:06,351 I wanna thank you and Viola for bringing me to my senses. 218 00:13:06,548 --> 00:13:08,349 -You do? -You do? 219 00:13:08,508 --> 00:13:10,060 I do. 220 00:13:11,552 --> 00:13:14,980 I guess maybe I was allowing the ethical considerations of this case... 221 00:13:15,140 --> 00:13:18,485 ...to be obscured by my entrepreneurial zeal. 222 00:13:18,852 --> 00:13:20,572 Believe I owe this agency an apology. 223 00:13:20,769 --> 00:13:23,274 We're all guilty of occasional lapses in judgement. 224 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:25,652 We are, however, duty bound as citizens... 225 00:13:25,817 --> 00:13:29,079 ...to follow up on whatever leads are presented to us by Mr. Ash... 226 00:13:29,236 --> 00:13:32,915 ...who is, after all, a common criminal, but that's where our job ends. 227 00:13:33,115 --> 00:13:34,670 -What's the catch? -No catch. 228 00:13:34,826 --> 00:13:38,705 We just gather whatever information we can and turn it over to the authorities. 229 00:13:38,913 --> 00:13:42,128 Without turning it into a self-aggrandizing media sideshow? 230 00:13:42,334 --> 00:13:44,552 I promise you, I will not let a bearded lady... 231 00:13:44,710 --> 00:13:47,890 ...or a two-headed turtle boy anywhere near this place. 232 00:13:48,589 --> 00:13:51,224 -Okay? -Okay. 233 00:13:51,426 --> 00:13:53,646 Mr. Viola, run Ms. Hayes to the museum. 234 00:13:53,845 --> 00:13:56,729 Speak to curator about the documents she's holding from us. 235 00:13:56,932 --> 00:13:59,316 I, myself, am on the way to the dentist. 236 00:14:00,019 --> 00:14:01,941 I feel a touch of gingivitis coming on... 237 00:14:02,104 --> 00:14:04,868 ...and I'd hate to ruin this smile. 238 00:14:06,858 --> 00:14:09,409 There's something fishy in the house of Denmark. 239 00:14:13,616 --> 00:14:16,119 May I be of some assistance to you, Monsignor? 240 00:14:20,957 --> 00:14:25,299 Monsignor Viola brings his regards from Rome. 241 00:14:27,380 --> 00:14:29,303 Oh, I'm so sorry. 242 00:14:29,508 --> 00:14:31,761 What lovely long nails you have. 243 00:14:37,931 --> 00:14:41,064 Monsignor would like to know if he can impose your hospitality... 244 00:14:41,227 --> 00:14:43,114 ...for a tour of your fine museum. 245 00:14:48,277 --> 00:14:50,613 Monsignor, this might be a good opportunity... 246 00:14:50,778 --> 00:14:53,247 ...for you to practise your English. 247 00:14:54,740 --> 00:14:56,628 Okay. 248 00:14:57,161 --> 00:15:00,708 Marcel Duchamp understood that taking an ordinary object... 249 00:15:00,873 --> 00:15:04,550 ...and putting it into a different cultural context became art. 250 00:15:06,378 --> 00:15:10,471 And over here we have a new installation of works of the 1960s. 251 00:15:11,592 --> 00:15:12,683 Decadent. 252 00:15:12,842 --> 00:15:14,564 -Mrs. Van Driggle. -Breegle. 253 00:15:14,721 --> 00:15:17,650 Oh, yes. I'm sorry. Would you mind if I used your phone? 254 00:15:17,807 --> 00:15:20,441 I have to check about the Monsignor's trip home. 255 00:15:20,642 --> 00:15:22,563 Yes, of course. Let me show you where-- 256 00:15:22,771 --> 00:15:24,775 That's all right. I'll find it. Thank you. 257 00:15:24,938 --> 00:15:26,860 I don't wanna interrupt the tour. 258 00:15:29,820 --> 00:15:33,116 You have a beautiful museum. 259 00:15:33,322 --> 00:15:36,040 Well, it's an honour to have you here. 260 00:15:36,242 --> 00:15:37,334 Yes. 261 00:15:37,869 --> 00:15:38,995 How I envy you. 262 00:15:39,162 --> 00:15:43,338 Working every day among some of the greatest art the world has ever known. 263 00:15:44,250 --> 00:15:46,755 Art is my life. 264 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:50,848 Raphael. Botticelli. Giotto. 265 00:15:51,049 --> 00:15:53,979 Oh, we have a Giotto inside. 266 00:15:56,013 --> 00:15:59,146 You've seen one Giotto, you've seen them all. 267 00:16:18,660 --> 00:16:21,626 I have some photographs in my office. 268 00:16:21,789 --> 00:16:25,171 They're of Renaissance statuary you might be interested in. 269 00:16:25,335 --> 00:16:27,256 Your ceiling. 270 00:16:27,879 --> 00:16:29,930 She's so empty. 271 00:16:30,088 --> 00:16:33,221 Do you know La Cappella Sistina? 272 00:16:33,384 --> 00:16:36,350 One of the most moving experiences of my life... 273 00:16:36,512 --> 00:16:39,893 ...was the first time I saw the Sistine Chapel. 274 00:16:40,558 --> 00:16:46,110 Sometimes when I want to be alone with the divine... 275 00:16:46,272 --> 00:16:51,954 ...I go there after all the turistas have gone home. 276 00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:53,786 I lie on to my back... 277 00:16:53,948 --> 00:16:56,795 ...just like Michelangelo. 278 00:16:56,950 --> 00:17:00,332 -On the floor? -Si, on the floor. 279 00:17:03,540 --> 00:17:06,388 I lie there for much time... 280 00:17:06,585 --> 00:17:09,053 ...watching the creation of a man. 281 00:17:09,255 --> 00:17:11,057 A great... 282 00:17:16,096 --> 00:17:18,895 ...tranquillity fills me. 283 00:17:19,056 --> 00:17:21,940 Almost as if it was I... 284 00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:26,615 ...Monsignor Viola, who's hand... 285 00:17:26,772 --> 00:17:28,907 ...is touching the Almighty's. 286 00:17:42,414 --> 00:17:46,885 Back in the monastery, my brothers and me would lie in the snow... 287 00:17:47,042 --> 00:17:49,891 ...and make the angels, like this. 288 00:17:53,426 --> 00:17:54,849 Come on, Monsignor. 289 00:17:55,052 --> 00:17:57,686 They want you back in Rome right away. 290 00:17:57,845 --> 00:18:00,860 -Thank you so much, Ms.-- -Van Breegle. Dr. Van Breegle. 291 00:18:01,057 --> 00:18:03,643 Van Drigg|e-- Breegle. Breegle. 292 00:18:04,936 --> 00:18:07,191 My pleasure. 293 00:18:12,319 --> 00:18:14,205 Maybe I've been underestimating Herbert. 294 00:18:14,404 --> 00:18:17,039 I put my foot down when he told me to dress like a nun. 295 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:18,705 I like the way that boy thinks. 296 00:18:19,910 --> 00:18:22,840 Look, the important thing is you got Duncan Kennedy's file. 297 00:18:23,039 --> 00:18:25,756 -We have yet to find Kennedy. -What's next on the list? 298 00:18:25,958 --> 00:18:29,221 Silver Lining Rest Farm. I hope this isn't a forwarding address. 299 00:18:29,378 --> 00:18:32,474 It doesn't sound like a forwarding address. 300 00:18:32,673 --> 00:18:35,473 I can't wait until we can wash our hands of this case. 301 00:18:35,634 --> 00:18:38,768 Who would use his wife to seduce a man to pull off a robbery? 302 00:18:38,972 --> 00:18:41,771 The kind of man who'd marry a woman like that. 303 00:18:41,932 --> 00:18:44,235 It's the aforementioned robbery you mentioned... 304 00:18:44,395 --> 00:18:48,238 -...that's is a tad chichier than your-- -Doesn't make it any less scuzzy. 305 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:50,278 Puts Ash on a list with some heady folk. 306 00:18:50,483 --> 00:18:54,575 Before this he was a regular Joe, now he's the D.B. Cooper of the art crowd. 307 00:18:54,738 --> 00:18:57,039 -So? -So he's set apart from the rest. 308 00:18:57,198 --> 00:19:00,664 He'll have his niche in the pantheon of criminals. He'll be remembered-- 309 00:19:00,828 --> 00:19:03,163 -As a crook. -|mmorta|ity's tough to pass up. 310 00:19:03,372 --> 00:19:06,670 Immortality and infamy are two completely different kettle of fish. 311 00:19:06,875 --> 00:19:09,094 Tell that to Billy the Kid or Bonnie and Clyde. 312 00:19:09,294 --> 00:19:11,097 -Scuzzball. -Then what's the point? 313 00:19:11,254 --> 00:19:13,176 -That's not the point. -What's the point? 314 00:19:13,382 --> 00:19:17,179 I happen to think it's a big waste of time to live your life for posterity. 315 00:19:17,345 --> 00:19:19,183 Cheap talk from a girl who's been on... 316 00:19:19,345 --> 00:19:21,352 ...more magazine covers than the ayatollah. 317 00:19:21,558 --> 00:19:24,238 I don't wanna get the writers in trouble. Anyway... 318 00:19:24,435 --> 00:19:26,570 ...occasionally someone recognizes me, so? 319 00:19:26,771 --> 00:19:29,357 It's a big deal. You've been recorded, documented... 320 00:19:29,523 --> 00:19:31,825 ...as someone who's made a contribution. 321 00:19:32,026 --> 00:19:35,372 -I never knew this was important to you. -it's not important to me. 322 00:19:35,572 --> 00:19:38,668 -Making your mark, being immortalized. -Is not important to me. 323 00:19:38,866 --> 00:19:40,753 You've taken this close to your bosom. 324 00:19:40,952 --> 00:19:43,586 First of all, this case is nowhere even near my bosom. 325 00:19:43,747 --> 00:19:47,424 Second of all, I don't have a bosom and most men I know don't have bosoms. 326 00:19:47,626 --> 00:19:49,298 And third, viva la difference. 327 00:19:49,502 --> 00:19:52,053 I'm just trying to explain where Ash is coming from. 328 00:19:52,255 --> 00:19:55,720 You can't tell the difference between surface and substance. 329 00:19:55,884 --> 00:19:58,102 Between celebrity and real accomplishment. 330 00:19:58,302 --> 00:19:59,810 By jingo, you're right. 331 00:19:59,972 --> 00:20:03,151 The scales have fallen from my eyes and I owe it all to you. 332 00:20:03,307 --> 00:20:05,111 The clothes, cars, flashy women. 333 00:20:05,268 --> 00:20:07,239 All trappings of material accomplishment. 334 00:20:07,396 --> 00:20:10,741 I have yet to see you lift a finger to lay a foundation past tomorrow. 335 00:20:10,900 --> 00:20:13,070 You wanna know how many foundations I've laid. 336 00:20:13,277 --> 00:20:16,742 I've seen your m.o. a million times, in the field, in a relationship. 337 00:20:16,948 --> 00:20:19,581 Never once have I seen you invest anything of yourself. 338 00:20:19,742 --> 00:20:22,163 -Oh, and you have. -Why would I invest something... 339 00:20:22,328 --> 00:20:25,127 ...in a relationship that you're not willing to invest in. 340 00:20:25,329 --> 00:20:28,593 You'd probably think you were the one who didn't wait to not invest. 341 00:20:28,794 --> 00:20:31,842 That's why it didn't work, Maddie. We talked it to death. 342 00:20:36,050 --> 00:20:37,392 Yeah, I guess we did. 343 00:20:37,594 --> 00:20:38,685 We still do. 344 00:20:39,220 --> 00:20:41,853 It doesn't matter if the topic is the Van Allen belt... 345 00:20:42,014 --> 00:20:44,566 ...or people who pick their noses on the freeway... 346 00:20:44,726 --> 00:20:47,442 ...or Egyptian funeral masks that Brock Ash stole. 347 00:20:47,603 --> 00:20:50,154 It always turns out to be a postmortem on us. 348 00:20:50,314 --> 00:20:52,866 -That's right. -So let's not do it anymore. 349 00:20:53,067 --> 00:20:56,746 -Let's not. -Okay, David, this isn't about us. 350 00:20:57,196 --> 00:21:01,420 If you wanna be famous, write a book, become a sculptor or a congressman. 351 00:21:01,618 --> 00:21:04,797 Do anything instead of teaching air guitar to the employees. 352 00:21:04,996 --> 00:21:06,752 I don't wanna be famous. 353 00:21:06,914 --> 00:21:10,380 I could careless whether or not I get the recognition I richly deserve. 354 00:21:10,544 --> 00:21:13,511 And I don't want any credit for bringing Brock Ash to justice. 355 00:21:13,714 --> 00:21:15,303 -You're sure? -Yes, I'm sure. 356 00:21:18,218 --> 00:21:20,981 Just give it a shot, pop. Try and remember. 357 00:21:21,846 --> 00:21:24,647 -Those eyes .... -That's right. Those eyes. 358 00:21:24,808 --> 00:21:27,145 You remember those eyes? They come in pairs? 359 00:21:27,352 --> 00:21:30,983 There's also a nose and a mouth, put them together and it makes a face. 360 00:21:31,190 --> 00:21:32,448 Do you remember this face? 361 00:21:33,985 --> 00:21:36,236 My mother had eyes like that. 362 00:21:36,237 --> 00:21:37,114 My mother had eyes like that. 363 00:21:38,156 --> 00:21:39,876 My mother's name was Mildred. 364 00:21:40,032 --> 00:21:42,252 Her father, my grandfather... 365 00:21:42,410 --> 00:21:46,291 ...called her Millie. Millie. 366 00:21:46,457 --> 00:21:49,386 He raised Persian horses on the farm... 367 00:21:49,542 --> 00:21:50,882 ...back in Elgin, Illinois. 368 00:21:51,085 --> 00:21:54,384 -He's not going to remember, David. -I remember everything. 369 00:21:54,548 --> 00:21:56,019 Sharp as a tack. 370 00:21:57,009 --> 00:21:58,396 Dunc. 371 00:21:58,551 --> 00:22:00,556 May I call you Dunc? 372 00:22:01,638 --> 00:22:03,809 Dunc, you used to work in the museum. 373 00:22:04,015 --> 00:22:05,309 Thirty-five years. 374 00:22:05,517 --> 00:22:07,439 Do you ever remember seeing this girl? 375 00:22:07,977 --> 00:22:11,571 You know, the native girls in the Pacific had hair like that. 376 00:22:11,772 --> 00:22:13,577 Black as alabaster. 377 00:22:13,734 --> 00:22:16,700 Once I was on shore leave... 378 00:22:17,236 --> 00:22:21,662 ...and the chief petty officer and I, we-- We made screwdrivers. 379 00:22:21,867 --> 00:22:24,632 Orange juice and torpedo fluid. 380 00:22:25,288 --> 00:22:27,625 That will put hair on your chest, I'll tell you. 381 00:22:27,790 --> 00:22:31,088 -Anyway, we met these native girls. -POP, POP, POP- 382 00:22:31,251 --> 00:22:32,294 Hang on one second. 383 00:22:32,460 --> 00:22:35,178 Take this pen and sign your name here on the dotted line. 384 00:22:35,339 --> 00:22:37,842 -David, you can't do that. -Boy, are you a stickler. 385 00:22:38,426 --> 00:22:41,392 Pop, the museum, this girl. 386 00:22:41,596 --> 00:22:43,730 Girl? This girl? 387 00:22:43,931 --> 00:22:47,728 -David, it's hopeless. -Hey, you are a pretty thing. 388 00:22:47,893 --> 00:22:49,281 And tall. 389 00:22:49,437 --> 00:22:51,857 Always liked my gals tall. 390 00:22:53,149 --> 00:22:56,031 Mr. Kennedy, thanks so much. Sorry we bothered you. 391 00:22:56,193 --> 00:22:57,701 Oh, don't run off. 392 00:22:57,863 --> 00:23:00,163 I don't get a lot of visitors. 393 00:23:00,322 --> 00:23:02,245 Here, take a load off. 394 00:23:02,409 --> 00:23:06,170 Wheel of Fortune will be on any minute. 395 00:23:11,585 --> 00:23:13,636 Sit down, damn it. 396 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:15,261 Yeah, okay. 397 00:23:20,261 --> 00:23:23,892 Vanna's got a nice smile, but the rest of her-- 398 00:23:25,224 --> 00:23:26,861 Skin and bones. 399 00:23:27,017 --> 00:23:30,980 No sirree, give me a gal with a little meat on her. 400 00:23:32,732 --> 00:23:34,321 Pearls of wisdom, Dunc. 401 00:23:34,524 --> 00:23:35,948 Pearls of wisdom. 402 00:23:36,151 --> 00:23:38,204 Mr. Kennedy, we really have to be going. 403 00:23:38,403 --> 00:23:40,825 I know this woman. 404 00:23:40,990 --> 00:23:43,576 She had the most beautiful green eyes. 405 00:23:43,784 --> 00:23:45,255 Face like an angel. 406 00:23:45,452 --> 00:23:48,917 Came out of nowhere, stayed a while. 407 00:23:49,124 --> 00:23:51,045 Never saw her again. 408 00:23:51,835 --> 00:23:54,219 But I've never forgotten her. 409 00:23:56,797 --> 00:23:58,352 Get me The Sun. Get me The Times. 410 00:23:58,508 --> 00:24:00,678 Get me the Sun-Times. Get me the Sunday Times. 411 00:24:00,842 --> 00:24:03,726 I want Dan Rather, Barbara Walters. I want Walter Cronkite. 412 00:24:03,890 --> 00:24:08,278 Call the encylopaedia people. Tell them to make room. Volume A, Addison. 413 00:24:25,326 --> 00:24:27,214 Good afternoon. 414 00:24:27,914 --> 00:24:29,752 If this checks out, we got a headline. 415 00:24:29,914 --> 00:24:33,095 -When does this stuff ever check out? -Just stick around, folks. 416 00:24:33,252 --> 00:24:34,972 You might be surprised. 417 00:24:35,128 --> 00:24:37,015 Ellen Dunbar. Newsweek. 418 00:24:37,174 --> 00:24:40,470 -I'm a big fan. -Nice to meet you, Ellen. 419 00:24:50,602 --> 00:24:54,068 You certainly did an excellent job at turning out the fourth estate. 420 00:24:54,274 --> 00:24:56,159 Got a stringer from ABC News. 421 00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:57,652 All the local newspapers. 422 00:24:57,860 --> 00:25:00,541 Spy magazine. MAD magazine. 423 00:25:00,697 --> 00:25:03,201 The roof has been secured for Connie Chung's chopper. 424 00:25:03,408 --> 00:25:04,750 Very good. Thank you, girls. 425 00:25:04,910 --> 00:25:08,255 I take it Ms. Hayes will not be here to bask in the limelight with us. 426 00:25:08,412 --> 00:25:09,754 Ms. Hayes will be just fine. 427 00:25:09,914 --> 00:25:12,002 She needs a little counselling and bed rest. 428 00:25:12,208 --> 00:25:13,928 She did seem a trifle agitated. 429 00:25:14,128 --> 00:25:16,713 Well, Ms. Hayes is a very private person. 430 00:25:16,879 --> 00:25:20,677 The thought of all those shutterbugs made her adrenal glands spasm. 431 00:25:21,260 --> 00:25:23,679 Well, sir, there is one other small problem. 432 00:25:23,846 --> 00:25:27,439 It's T-minus-3 minutes until Showtime and Brock Ash has still not shown. 433 00:25:27,641 --> 00:25:29,147 You call yourself a showman? 434 00:25:29,351 --> 00:25:31,486 The man probably wants to make an entrance. 435 00:25:31,686 --> 00:25:33,942 However, I will take a look down the hallway... 436 00:25:34,105 --> 00:25:37,285 ...and see if maybe he got lost. 437 00:25:43,950 --> 00:25:46,832 How's my hair? How are my teeth? How's the dimple look? 438 00:25:50,164 --> 00:25:52,418 -What time is it? -With all due respect, sir... 439 00:25:52,583 --> 00:25:55,431 ...it's about 30 seconds later than the last time you asked. 440 00:25:55,587 --> 00:25:58,172 Maybe he had car trouble. 441 00:25:58,590 --> 00:26:00,974 Maybe he was sicker then he thought. 442 00:26:01,133 --> 00:26:04,184 -You're not suggesting-- -You don't suppose-- 443 00:26:04,554 --> 00:26:07,936 No. We'll give him a few more minutes. 444 00:26:16,276 --> 00:26:18,361 You gotta go in there and stir the pot up... 445 00:26:18,526 --> 00:26:20,449 ...while I put out an APB for this moron. 446 00:26:20,612 --> 00:26:23,626 You want me to go in there and talk to those reporters? 447 00:26:23,823 --> 00:26:26,375 Do barnyard noises, leader impressions, I don't care. 448 00:26:26,534 --> 00:26:27,710 Just keep them occupied. 449 00:26:27,912 --> 00:26:30,249 -Sorry, sir. I can't do that. -You gotta do that. 450 00:26:30,414 --> 00:26:34,127 No, I'd love to do that, sir, but all those faces looking at me. 451 00:26:34,293 --> 00:26:37,923 All those minds weighing, judging, evaluating. 452 00:26:38,130 --> 00:26:39,767 Shredding me. I-- 453 00:26:39,924 --> 00:26:41,431 I'm just no good with people. 454 00:26:41,634 --> 00:26:44,517 -You can't cave in on me now. -I'm feeling a little woozy. 455 00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:46,808 G. Gordon Liddy had a thing about rodents... 456 00:26:46,972 --> 00:26:49,903 ...and then one mouthful of rat tartare and he was a new man. 457 00:26:50,058 --> 00:26:52,361 Those people in there, that's the cure for you. 458 00:26:52,562 --> 00:26:55,943 Now go in there, look them in the eye and start yakking. 459 00:27:08,828 --> 00:27:10,631 Excuse me. 460 00:27:18,129 --> 00:27:20,051 First of all... 461 00:27:21,384 --> 00:27:25,725 ...on behalf of the of the entire moon here at Blue Staff. 462 00:27:26,262 --> 00:27:27,900 I mean .... 463 00:27:29,099 --> 00:27:31,816 Well, I would just like to-- 464 00:27:32,978 --> 00:27:35,066 To-- To express to all of you... 465 00:27:35,230 --> 00:27:38,031 ...how much your-- Your presence here means to us today. 466 00:27:38,984 --> 00:27:40,408 Somebody get the hook. 467 00:27:40,943 --> 00:27:43,080 That's right. A-S-H. 468 00:27:43,738 --> 00:27:45,827 No patient listed under that name. 469 00:27:45,991 --> 00:27:48,246 Okay, thank you very much. 470 00:27:50,913 --> 00:27:53,546 Operator, give me a listing for the highway patrol. 471 00:27:53,708 --> 00:27:57,089 And while you're at it give me a listing for the county morgue. 472 00:27:58,171 --> 00:28:03,972 Man, after all, has always strived for perfection. 473 00:28:04,510 --> 00:28:07,191 The perfect Iiftoff, the perfect martini... 474 00:28:07,388 --> 00:28:09,725 ...the perfect pair of breasts. 475 00:28:11,726 --> 00:28:15,357 Just as one mammal's regurgitation is another mammal's ambergris. 476 00:28:15,563 --> 00:28:20,913 And so, with the sweet perfume of history as our stalwart ally... 477 00:28:21,110 --> 00:28:25,203 ...we come to understand that the perfect crime... 478 00:28:25,364 --> 00:28:27,454 ...is exactly that. 479 00:28:27,660 --> 00:28:29,001 I'm telling you, I looked-- 480 00:28:29,161 --> 00:28:30,750 Never mind. He just walked in. 481 00:28:30,912 --> 00:28:33,878 Brock. All right, listen, pull yourself together. 482 00:28:34,042 --> 00:28:36,590 We've got to go out here and throw the press a bone. 483 00:28:36,752 --> 00:28:38,839 I'd like you to cancel this news conference. 484 00:28:39,004 --> 00:28:40,427 What are you talking about? 485 00:28:40,589 --> 00:28:43,092 I have nothing to say to the press. I'm not feeling-- 486 00:28:43,258 --> 00:28:46,438 You're not feeling good. Here, come over here. Sit down. 487 00:28:46,595 --> 00:28:49,610 I know what you're going through. You're nervous. You're upset. 488 00:28:49,807 --> 00:28:51,563 I'm not going to die. 489 00:28:51,725 --> 00:28:54,193 Well, Brock, we all have to go sooner or later. 490 00:28:54,352 --> 00:28:56,275 Whether you go sooner or a little later-- 491 00:28:56,481 --> 00:28:59,031 My departure's scheduled for later rather than sooner. 492 00:28:59,192 --> 00:29:03,202 My condition is a virus that mimics all the symptoms of a terminal disease. 493 00:29:05,030 --> 00:29:08,495 And now, here he is, the man of the hour. 494 00:29:08,701 --> 00:29:11,668 -You're gonna pull through? -I got the results this morning. 495 00:29:11,872 --> 00:29:13,627 Sleuth extraordinaire. 496 00:29:13,831 --> 00:29:15,124 What about your confession? 497 00:29:15,290 --> 00:29:17,178 We have signed affidavit here from the-- 498 00:29:17,336 --> 00:29:20,431 From the guard who said he positively identifies your wife. 499 00:29:20,588 --> 00:29:21,928 It corroborates your story. 500 00:29:22,090 --> 00:29:24,676 There's no way we can't slam this through, slam dunk. 501 00:29:24,885 --> 00:29:27,221 Detective beyond compare. 502 00:29:27,428 --> 00:29:30,146 Mr. Addison I can look forward to a speedy recovery... 503 00:29:30,307 --> 00:29:32,277 ...and along and prosperous life. 504 00:29:32,434 --> 00:29:34,654 It wouldn't make sense to spend it behind bars. 505 00:29:34,854 --> 00:29:38,995 The man who ratiocinated his way up the ranks. 506 00:29:39,192 --> 00:29:40,235 Look, look, I'm-- 507 00:29:40,402 --> 00:29:44,077 Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy to hear about your good news. 508 00:29:44,237 --> 00:29:46,492 But this puts me in an awkward position here. 509 00:29:46,698 --> 00:29:52,002 Who deduced and reasoned what no other could. 510 00:29:52,204 --> 00:29:54,210 -it's not my problem. -What do you mean? 511 00:29:54,374 --> 00:29:57,671 You're the one that wanted a story. A legacy, you wanted a legacy. 512 00:29:57,877 --> 00:29:59,430 Legacies are for the deceased... 513 00:29:59,587 --> 00:30:02,305 ...and the actuarials for a man my age would suggest... 514 00:30:02,466 --> 00:30:05,265 ...I won't be joining their numbers for quite some time. 515 00:30:07,178 --> 00:30:08,685 The keenest eye. 516 00:30:08,888 --> 00:30:11,224 Mr. Ash even if I could forget about this... 517 00:30:11,390 --> 00:30:14,356 ...I have a responsibility to report this to the authorities. 518 00:30:14,561 --> 00:30:16,115 The sharpest mind. 519 00:30:16,312 --> 00:30:20,026 We can't just ask the cat to jump back in the bag once it's out, can we? 520 00:30:20,233 --> 00:30:22,701 Let's give a big Blue Moon welcome... 521 00:30:24,404 --> 00:30:27,583 ...to Mr. David Addison. 522 00:30:28,116 --> 00:30:30,501 Ash. Ash-- 523 00:30:52,975 --> 00:30:54,565 Excuse me. 524 00:30:54,978 --> 00:30:57,148 Stay right where you are. 525 00:30:57,480 --> 00:30:59,401 Be back in a minute. 526 00:30:59,606 --> 00:31:01,494 Mr. Addison. 527 00:31:01,651 --> 00:31:04,664 You check the lobby? And the garage? 528 00:31:04,820 --> 00:31:06,956 And still no sign of him. 529 00:31:07,948 --> 00:31:10,250 All right. Thank you very much. 530 00:31:12,078 --> 00:31:14,380 Guess we can kiss our Ash goodbye. 531 00:31:15,623 --> 00:31:16,715 I'm sorry, sir. 532 00:31:31,889 --> 00:31:34,988 -Good morning, Ms. Di Pesto. -Good morning, Ms. Hayes. 533 00:31:35,602 --> 00:31:38,401 Good to see everything getting back to normal around here. 534 00:31:38,562 --> 00:31:40,485 I wouldn't say things are back to normal. 535 00:31:40,691 --> 00:31:43,194 Still hot under the collar about his media non-event? 536 00:31:43,402 --> 00:31:46,997 Bitter, angry, dejected, depressed. 537 00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:51,290 I overheard him call USA Today and tell them they didn't have... 538 00:31:51,452 --> 00:31:54,797 -...David Addison to kick around. -Oh, brother. 539 00:32:01,420 --> 00:32:03,306 -David? -Yo. 540 00:32:04,256 --> 00:32:06,808 Sorry, I was a little tense yesterday. 541 00:32:07,009 --> 00:32:08,848 Yeah, you were a little tense. 542 00:32:09,011 --> 00:32:11,691 I'm also sorry about what happened with Brock Ash. 543 00:32:11,889 --> 00:32:14,475 -it's no big deal. -Right. 544 00:32:15,185 --> 00:32:19,028 I know you don't wanna hear this, but things worked out for the best. 545 00:32:19,189 --> 00:32:21,526 I'm glad that you're glad a guilty man got away. 546 00:32:21,733 --> 00:32:22,775 I didn't say that. 547 00:32:22,943 --> 00:32:27,202 I'm saying I'm relieved that as far as we're concerned the case is closed. 548 00:32:27,780 --> 00:32:29,121 The case is closed? 549 00:32:31,368 --> 00:32:34,167 It will be as soon as I catch this guy and nail him. 550 00:32:34,330 --> 00:32:35,966 Oh, I see. 551 00:32:36,122 --> 00:32:39,504 He schtised you and now you're gonna schtise him. 552 00:32:39,668 --> 00:32:42,931 -Payback. Law of the jungle. -Revenge. This is not the jungle. 553 00:32:43,130 --> 00:32:44,850 Then let me give you more motivation: 554 00:32:45,007 --> 00:32:46,348 Cash, and lots of it. 555 00:32:46,550 --> 00:32:48,851 Museum's insurance carrier's out a couple mil... 556 00:32:49,011 --> 00:32:50,684 ...on the stolen Egyptian masks. 557 00:32:50,888 --> 00:32:54,020 They're anxious to express their gratitude for putting Ash in jail. 558 00:32:54,224 --> 00:32:57,404 I think I'd feel better if your motives were purely mercenary. 559 00:32:57,604 --> 00:32:58,646 Stand up. 560 00:33:00,272 --> 00:33:02,823 Ash snatched the brass ring right out of your hand. 561 00:33:04,109 --> 00:33:06,246 The affidavit's gone. 562 00:33:07,322 --> 00:33:09,791 -You're an opportunist. -Kennedy's room, please. 563 00:33:09,992 --> 00:33:12,327 Brock Ash provided you with a golden opportunity. 564 00:33:12,493 --> 00:33:14,415 Only this isn't achievement. 565 00:33:14,578 --> 00:33:17,461 This is riding someone e|se's coat tails, cashing in. 566 00:33:17,622 --> 00:33:19,676 Yeah, thank you very much. 567 00:33:24,588 --> 00:33:26,393 Duncan Kennedy just cashed out. 568 00:33:32,181 --> 00:33:35,525 The nose looks right, but there's something about the jaw that's off. 569 00:33:35,683 --> 00:33:37,275 It needs to be more chiselled. 570 00:33:37,436 --> 00:33:39,606 I'll never forget those pouty, bee-stung lips. 571 00:33:39,812 --> 00:33:42,398 The kiss of blush beneath those cheekbones. 572 00:33:42,565 --> 00:33:44,618 We're gonna get this out on the wire today. 573 00:33:44,776 --> 00:33:47,113 Thanks to you two, Ash won't get too far. 574 00:33:47,321 --> 00:33:49,955 The department wants to thank you for your cooperation. 575 00:33:50,115 --> 00:33:52,536 We can't let him go around strangling people. 576 00:33:52,744 --> 00:33:54,464 Most Pls wouldn't see it that way. 577 00:33:54,662 --> 00:33:56,999 They'd wanna make the collar and grab the glory. 578 00:33:57,164 --> 00:34:00,795 You can rest assured, you're looking at dyed-in-the-wool do-gooders. 579 00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:02,514 You let your Jim Rockford's... 580 00:34:02,670 --> 00:34:05,256 ...and your Joe Mannix's go for the glory. Not us. 581 00:34:05,423 --> 00:34:07,677 Mr. Addison, may I speak with you for a moment? 582 00:34:08,218 --> 00:34:10,019 Yeah. Excuse me. 583 00:34:13,306 --> 00:34:15,311 Squeezed a frail I used to run with. 584 00:34:15,474 --> 00:34:17,977 It took some juice, but I ran a make on those wheels. 585 00:34:18,143 --> 00:34:21,443 -And I have got the dirt on this stiff. -What? 586 00:34:21,606 --> 00:34:23,491 The car I followed Ash down to that day. 587 00:34:23,649 --> 00:34:27,162 Iran a description of it by a friend of mine who works at the Auto Club. 588 00:34:27,321 --> 00:34:29,241 Look, a rental leased to Ash. 589 00:34:29,404 --> 00:34:32,253 That's the address. A downtown hotel. 590 00:34:32,410 --> 00:34:35,920 Burty-boy, if this pans out I'll dedicate my memoirs to you. Thanks. 591 00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:39,715 Maddie, gotta go. The Anselmo case has reached a flash point. 592 00:34:39,874 --> 00:34:43,553 Officers, if there's anything we can do, don't hesitate to hesitate. Come on. 593 00:34:53,139 --> 00:34:56,353 This doesn't look like the kind of hotel Mr. Anselmo would stay at. 594 00:34:56,516 --> 00:34:58,486 That depends on which Anselmo. 595 00:34:58,644 --> 00:35:01,657 The west coast Anselmos lost their money in the October crash. 596 00:35:01,814 --> 00:35:05,111 The east coast Anselmos, on the other hand, stayed rather fluid. 597 00:35:05,275 --> 00:35:07,743 I have the distinct feeling I'm being shanghaied... 598 00:35:07,902 --> 00:35:09,909 ...with another one of your secret agendas. 599 00:35:10,072 --> 00:35:11,912 Nonsense. Room service. 600 00:35:12,074 --> 00:35:14,458 I thought he was expecting us. 601 00:35:15,829 --> 00:35:20,669 Mr. Anselmo, Maddie Hayes and David Addison. 602 00:35:21,917 --> 00:35:23,804 Oh, now, look, you went and spooked him. 603 00:35:31,845 --> 00:35:34,016 -That was Brock Ash. -What's he doing here? 604 00:35:34,180 --> 00:35:36,683 You knew where he was and you didn't tell the police? 605 00:35:36,850 --> 00:35:39,697 I knew nothing of the kind. Bad enough he murdered a man... 606 00:35:39,853 --> 00:35:42,273 ...let alone stick his nose in the Anselmo case. 607 00:35:46,068 --> 00:35:48,997 There goes your chance to be part of history. 608 00:35:49,196 --> 00:35:51,166 There goes my chance to become a pizza. 609 00:35:51,323 --> 00:35:53,874 Are you sure it says we gotta do this in the script? 610 00:35:54,076 --> 00:35:56,875 -Out of my way. -Wait a second. This is man's work. 611 00:36:00,834 --> 00:36:03,798 -Watch it. Watch it. -I'm just trying to help. 612 00:36:06,964 --> 00:36:08,600 David. 613 00:36:13,429 --> 00:36:15,268 Thank you. 614 00:36:17,517 --> 00:36:19,023 All right, look, Spiderman... 615 00:36:19,184 --> 00:36:20,940 ...why don't you and me go inside. 616 00:36:21,144 --> 00:36:24,277 Come on, slip inside, order up a mess of flies from room service. 617 00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:28,153 Sorry, but I intend to spend the rest of my life on a beach somewhere. 618 00:36:28,362 --> 00:36:30,282 Come on, you're all washed up, Ash. 619 00:36:30,445 --> 00:36:33,127 These ledges go around and around. There's no way down. 620 00:36:33,324 --> 00:36:35,957 Then it becomes a test of endurance, Mr. Addison. 621 00:36:36,118 --> 00:36:39,667 If I were a betting man, I'd put my money on the cat burglar. 622 00:36:45,379 --> 00:36:47,098 Hold on, Dave's coming. 623 00:36:47,296 --> 00:36:48,470 David, be careful. 624 00:36:48,672 --> 00:36:52,019 Now, Maddie, you're starting to repeat yourself in your old age. 625 00:36:58,099 --> 00:37:00,983 Mr. Addison, the mask I stole was cursed. 626 00:37:01,979 --> 00:37:04,992 -I'd hate to see you fall victim. -Cursed-shmursed, hang on. 627 00:37:07,026 --> 00:37:08,746 -I can't. -Come on, hang on. 628 00:37:08,901 --> 00:37:12,165 You're trying to get out of that dinner you're gonna owe me. 629 00:37:12,365 --> 00:37:13,918 I get to choose the restaurant. 630 00:37:14,449 --> 00:37:15,956 David. 631 00:37:28,924 --> 00:37:32,683 Ash's obituary will make the paper. That would have made him happy. 632 00:37:32,885 --> 00:37:36,267 -Yeah, he made a splash. -There's nothing you could have done. 633 00:37:36,471 --> 00:37:39,651 Double nothing would have been a whole lot better than what I did. 634 00:37:40,227 --> 00:37:42,065 Maddie, I'm gonna go on record here. 635 00:37:42,228 --> 00:37:46,073 You were right, I was wrong. We shouldn't have taken this case. 636 00:37:46,274 --> 00:37:49,869 Just because I didn't want you to take this case doesn't mean you're wrong. 637 00:37:50,028 --> 00:37:52,496 You were passionate. You wanted to see it through. 638 00:37:52,698 --> 00:37:55,877 If I'd let well enough alone he wouldn't be one with the sidewalk. 639 00:37:56,034 --> 00:37:57,588 -It was an accident. -It was not. 640 00:37:57,745 --> 00:38:00,425 He was on that ledge because I chased him out there. 641 00:38:00,623 --> 00:38:03,173 You chased him out there because he was running away. 642 00:38:03,333 --> 00:38:07,390 He wouldn't have run if he wasn't guilty. He killed a man. 643 00:38:07,588 --> 00:38:11,301 Hold it before this turns into some bloodless, long-winded, abstract... 644 00:38:11,466 --> 00:38:14,599 ...lecturing debate about capital punishment or prison reform... 645 00:38:14,762 --> 00:38:17,147 ...or how Brock Ash was probably a middle child... 646 00:38:17,306 --> 00:38:19,607 ...because middle children have it the roughest. 647 00:38:19,767 --> 00:38:23,149 Let me nip this bud. A man died. I could have stopped it and I didn't. 648 00:38:23,354 --> 00:38:25,691 -You did everything-- -I've gotta live with that. 649 00:38:25,856 --> 00:38:28,905 For crying out loud, you risked your life to save that guy. 650 00:38:29,068 --> 00:38:31,405 But it takes two to hold on and he couldn't. 651 00:38:32,864 --> 00:38:36,162 I wonder what the last thing that went through his mind was. 652 00:38:36,367 --> 00:38:38,918 Well, I can guarantee you it wasn't the perfect crime. 653 00:38:39,078 --> 00:38:41,463 I was with my grandfather when he died. 654 00:38:41,623 --> 00:38:44,421 He was a big wheel on the Chicago commodities exchange. 655 00:38:44,584 --> 00:38:47,514 All he can talk about was a snow fort he built when he was 9. 656 00:38:48,129 --> 00:38:51,927 He packed the snow in shoe boxes and used slush as mortar. 657 00:38:52,508 --> 00:38:54,264 The walls were eight-feet tall. 658 00:38:54,428 --> 00:38:57,146 And then the January thaw came along and it was gone. 659 00:38:57,348 --> 00:38:59,898 -He couldn't hold on. -Well, David, he was 97. 660 00:39:00,100 --> 00:39:01,191 No. I mean, Brock Ash. 661 00:39:01,352 --> 00:39:04,365 He had both hands around the belt. His feet were on the wall... 662 00:39:04,522 --> 00:39:06,907 -...but he couldn't keep a grip. -He'd been sick. 663 00:39:07,108 --> 00:39:10,120 Yeah, if he couldn't hold on tight enough to save his life... 664 00:39:10,276 --> 00:39:12,283 ...he couldn't have squeezed hard enough... 665 00:39:12,446 --> 00:39:15,661 -...to crush Duncan Kennedy's larynx. -If he didn't do it, who did? 666 00:39:15,865 --> 00:39:18,203 We should go back to the scene of the perfect crime. 667 00:39:25,251 --> 00:39:26,461 Ms. Hayes. 668 00:39:26,628 --> 00:39:29,760 I hope Monsignor Viola got back to Rome safely. 669 00:39:29,922 --> 00:39:32,555 -Mr. Viola is not a Monsignor. -Yeah, he got defrocked. 670 00:39:32,716 --> 00:39:35,137 Something about whipped cream and a feather duster. 671 00:39:35,344 --> 00:39:37,564 -I'm sorry. -Yeah, he landed on his feet. 672 00:39:37,722 --> 00:39:40,356 -Got a gig as pit boss in Vegas. -Ms. Van Drigg|e-- 673 00:39:40,558 --> 00:39:42,693 -Breegle. -We're private detectives. 674 00:39:42,852 --> 00:39:46,316 -This is my associate, David Addison. -Is anything wrong? 675 00:39:46,522 --> 00:39:49,203 We'd like to ask you few questions about Duncan Kennedy. 676 00:39:49,358 --> 00:39:52,290 Oh, Duncan. What a terrific old gentlemen. 677 00:39:52,488 --> 00:39:54,705 -He was strangled last night. -Oh, no. 678 00:39:56,408 --> 00:39:58,626 That's awful. Who would have done such a thing? 679 00:39:58,827 --> 00:40:02,091 We have reason to believe that he knew something about a burglary... 680 00:40:02,248 --> 00:40:03,671 ...that occurred years ago. 681 00:40:03,875 --> 00:40:06,508 The man who committed the actual crime died last night. 682 00:40:06,668 --> 00:40:09,137 Now, he said that he stole a famous Egyptian mask. 683 00:40:09,339 --> 00:40:13,135 From Amenhotep's temple at Luxor. It was priceless. 684 00:40:13,342 --> 00:40:17,103 But the insurance company is offering rewards for a laundry list of items. 685 00:40:17,304 --> 00:40:19,475 Obviously the thief is lying. 686 00:40:19,681 --> 00:40:20,856 Oh, he was lying, yes. 687 00:40:21,017 --> 00:40:24,693 He actually confessed to a crime much larger than the one that he committed. 688 00:40:24,854 --> 00:40:27,617 We think someone was piggybacking on the criminal's crime. 689 00:40:27,814 --> 00:40:30,070 Poor Duncan. 690 00:40:31,111 --> 00:40:33,114 What happened to your nails? 691 00:40:33,696 --> 00:40:36,710 I broke one last night... 692 00:40:36,909 --> 00:40:39,494 ...so I decided to cut them all off. 693 00:40:40,746 --> 00:40:44,672 I don't know many women who would cut off nine nails for the sake of one. 694 00:40:45,416 --> 00:40:46,839 I'm a stickler for symmetry. 695 00:40:47,042 --> 00:40:49,972 Don't you hate those bits of evidence under your fingernails? 696 00:40:50,130 --> 00:40:51,933 It just ruins a girl's manicure. 697 00:40:52,132 --> 00:40:55,560 Duncan called you, didn't he? To warn you that we'd been to see him. 698 00:40:55,761 --> 00:40:58,691 What fertile imaginations you both have. 699 00:41:05,061 --> 00:41:06,734 Let's go. 700 00:41:46,103 --> 00:41:48,441 Hey, my lips. 701 00:41:48,649 --> 00:41:50,118 Stop those lips. 702 00:41:56,072 --> 00:41:58,078 Come on, Maddie, get in. 703 00:41:59,619 --> 00:42:01,171 Let's go. 704 00:42:01,702 --> 00:42:03,839 We can't drive this. it's a work of art. 705 00:42:03,996 --> 00:42:07,426 Art-shmart, Van Breeg|e's giving us the wiggle. Hang on. 706 00:42:18,387 --> 00:42:19,513 No! 707 00:42:24,060 --> 00:42:25,863 A full twist with a double pike. 708 00:42:26,020 --> 00:42:27,573 I give it a 9.5. 709 00:42:30,732 --> 00:42:32,205 on, God! 710 00:42:38,741 --> 00:42:40,747 Hey, who turned out the lights? 711 00:42:40,952 --> 00:42:42,293 Turn, David, turn, turn. 712 00:42:48,543 --> 00:42:50,595 David. 713 00:43:02,014 --> 00:43:04,944 -David, look. Turn, turn! -This is tricky, Maddie. 714 00:43:05,101 --> 00:43:06,941 Rebel Without a Cause, James Dean. 715 00:43:07,104 --> 00:43:09,690 -He died in the end. -Oh, yeah. 716 00:43:30,169 --> 00:43:33,384 -Hit the brakes, David. -Brakes? What brakes? 717 00:43:44,850 --> 00:43:46,486 Talk about life imitating art. 718 00:43:46,686 --> 00:43:49,154 Now, I could make a double entendre here... 719 00:43:49,313 --> 00:43:51,697 ...but I'm doing my part to clean up the airwaves. 720 00:43:51,857 --> 00:43:54,492 Just say no to innuendo. 721 00:43:54,652 --> 00:43:55,945 Hang on, Maddie. 722 00:44:01,076 --> 00:44:02,961 Shark. 723 00:44:04,286 --> 00:44:05,794 Made you look. Hang on, Maddie. 724 00:44:05,956 --> 00:44:08,126 David, get me out off this thing. 725 00:44:08,290 --> 00:44:09,881 This is a good shade for you. 726 00:44:10,085 --> 00:44:11,557 Slide down. 727 00:44:12,671 --> 00:44:14,806 Slide down here. 728 00:44:18,385 --> 00:44:20,970 David, look what you've done. 729 00:44:23,891 --> 00:44:28,234 Hey, pal, I'm sorry. If you got a hammer or something, I'll help you fix it. 730 00:44:28,438 --> 00:44:29,943 Fix it? 731 00:44:30,105 --> 00:44:31,611 I wanna worship it. 732 00:44:33,610 --> 00:44:34,902 I now realise it. 733 00:44:35,069 --> 00:44:37,786 All I did was assemble the raw materials for your vision. 734 00:44:38,322 --> 00:44:42,877 But you-- You gave it wings, dimension, scope. 735 00:44:43,035 --> 00:44:44,543 -Pith. -Pith? 736 00:44:44,746 --> 00:44:46,133 Yes. 737 00:44:46,330 --> 00:44:48,549 The last 10,000 years of artistic expression... 738 00:44:48,708 --> 00:44:51,673 ...have simply been a prelude to this moment. 739 00:44:52,544 --> 00:44:55,130 I want to know everything about your work. 740 00:44:55,339 --> 00:44:58,472 Well, I showed early promise in Miss Manner's class. 741 00:44:58,635 --> 00:44:59,928 It was in the second grade. 742 00:45:00,095 --> 00:45:02,265 I worked mostly with crayons and Lincoln Logs. 743 00:45:02,431 --> 00:45:04,517 I began doing things with Mr. Potato Head... 744 00:45:04,682 --> 00:45:06,403 ...that no one had ever done before. 745 00:45:06,560 --> 00:45:09,063 In my college years, I moved on to performance art... 746 00:45:09,228 --> 00:45:12,528 ...drinking vast quantities of beer and throwing up on the carpet. 747 00:45:17,529 --> 00:45:20,114 -Ms. Hayes, did you hear the news? -What? 748 00:45:20,324 --> 00:45:23,836 All this time, Mr. Addison's been a genius and we didn't know about it. 749 00:45:23,994 --> 00:45:26,498 I always sensed a hidden reservoir of talent. 750 00:45:26,663 --> 00:45:28,883 Look, he even autographed to me. 751 00:45:29,083 --> 00:45:31,634 Oh, brother. 752 00:45:39,720 --> 00:45:42,137 Congratulations. 753 00:45:42,304 --> 00:45:45,270 You've finally earned your place in history. 754 00:45:49,396 --> 00:45:51,650 Two hundred dollars a day per diem. 755 00:45:59,406 --> 00:46:00,877 -And a limousine. -A limo? 756 00:46:01,074 --> 00:46:02,628 Stretch. 757 00:46:14,087 --> 00:46:16,672 It's all set. You've been commissioned to install... 758 00:46:16,839 --> 00:46:20,303 ...a 12-foot pile of underwear in the Place de Ia Concorde. 759 00:46:20,509 --> 00:46:22,100 -Leave for where? -Paris. 760 00:46:22,303 --> 00:46:25,152 -Texas? -They want my oeuvre in the Louvre. 761 00:46:25,349 --> 00:46:27,568 Oh, David, you were in a wreck... 762 00:46:27,726 --> 00:46:30,111 ...you're lucky they didn't revoke your license... 763 00:46:30,270 --> 00:46:34,150 ...and now a bunch of art sheep are saying you're a master? 764 00:46:35,026 --> 00:46:37,909 -That's hysterical. -Hey, I don't make the rules. 765 00:46:38,112 --> 00:46:41,992 Put your artistic endeavours on hold because we have a ton of work to do. 766 00:46:42,158 --> 00:46:44,661 It's tax time. We have to close the corporation. 767 00:46:44,870 --> 00:46:47,289 -Can't we can do en route? -En route? 768 00:46:47,913 --> 00:46:51,711 -You're coming with me, aren't you?. -I did negotiate for two tickets. 769 00:46:51,919 --> 00:46:53,637 To Paris? 770 00:46:53,836 --> 00:46:56,600 -Sure. I've gotta go pack. -No, no, no. 771 00:46:57,798 --> 00:46:58,843 Go exactly as you are. 772 00:46:59,007 --> 00:47:02,687 I'll need to bone up on your anatomy for an ambitious nude by yours truly... 773 00:47:02,846 --> 00:47:04,353 ...Vincent van Addison. 774 00:47:04,555 --> 00:47:07,486 And I know just what you should cut off and send in the mail. 775 00:47:09,227 --> 00:47:10,615 What?