1 00:01:34,347 --> 00:01:37,445 -Thanks, Danny. I had fun. -Yeah, me too. 2 00:01:37,602 --> 00:01:39,571 Hey, hey, hey. What's the hurry? 3 00:01:39,728 --> 00:01:40,939 I gotta get some sleep. 4 00:01:41,104 --> 00:01:44,569 -I have to be at work first thing. -Find yourself the right guy... 5 00:01:44,733 --> 00:01:48,412 ...pretty girl like you won't have to be punching a time clock at dawn. 6 00:01:48,571 --> 00:01:52,333 Find myself the right guy, I won't have to go on dates with you. 7 00:01:55,870 --> 00:01:57,757 Come on, Danny. 8 00:01:57,915 --> 00:01:59,553 Let go. 9 00:02:00,084 --> 00:02:02,801 -I mean it. -Okay. 10 00:02:02,962 --> 00:02:05,049 Okay, but give me one more kiss. 11 00:02:05,214 --> 00:02:08,229 -Come on, give me one more kiss. -Okay. 12 00:02:09,595 --> 00:02:11,351 I want a real one. 13 00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:17,156 Good night. 14 00:02:19,565 --> 00:02:21,534 Let me bum a cigarette for the ride home. 15 00:02:21,691 --> 00:02:23,696 There's a machine at the gas station. 16 00:02:23,860 --> 00:02:26,625 -Come on, baby. -Good night. 17 00:02:59,024 --> 00:03:01,660 For crying out loud. 18 00:03:04,698 --> 00:03:08,412 Can't you take drop dead for an answer? 19 00:03:09,411 --> 00:03:12,177 Look, I thought I told you-- 20 00:03:12,873 --> 00:03:16,172 Hello, Nora. it's me. 21 00:03:40,905 --> 00:03:41,997 Hello. 22 00:03:45,869 --> 00:03:48,289 Blue Moon Agency of Private Detection. 23 00:03:48,455 --> 00:03:52,086 We yearn to guide you in a virtuous direction. 24 00:03:52,251 --> 00:03:57,306 From the dawn of fair youth, till hoary convalescence. 25 00:03:57,466 --> 00:04:02,721 To fight the good fight is our goal and our essence. 26 00:04:04,931 --> 00:04:07,317 Can you please hold? 27 00:04:08,895 --> 00:04:12,443 All right, look. This is not my job. 28 00:04:12,608 --> 00:04:16,036 I am not trained in the kind of commercial doggerel Agnes dishes out. 29 00:04:16,195 --> 00:04:19,078 Albeit, well-crafted commercial doggerel. 30 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:23,120 And if anyone here thinks he or she can do better... 31 00:04:23,285 --> 00:04:25,421 ...they are heartily invited to try. 32 00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:31,004 Obnoxious, toady, spewing gobbledegook. 33 00:04:31,170 --> 00:04:33,507 Pretentious, a put on, take a mirror and look. 34 00:04:33,673 --> 00:04:36,258 You make me vomit, you fuzz-coated yutz. 35 00:04:36,426 --> 00:04:38,929 Whoever sired you was totally nuts. 36 00:04:39,094 --> 00:04:41,599 Nice talk, MacGi|icuddy. 37 00:04:41,765 --> 00:04:43,568 -Herbert. -Agnes, where have you been? 38 00:04:43,726 --> 00:04:45,862 In the necessary room. What are you doing? 39 00:04:46,020 --> 00:04:48,570 Someone had to answer. It was ringing off the hook. 40 00:04:48,731 --> 00:04:50,238 Thank you. We regret the delay. 41 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,736 We're eager to hear what you have to say. 42 00:04:53,111 --> 00:04:55,163 Hello. Hello? 43 00:04:55,322 --> 00:04:57,374 They hung up. What did you say to them? 44 00:04:57,531 --> 00:04:59,204 Well, I don't recall exactly. 45 00:04:59,368 --> 00:05:02,050 -Did you rhyme? -Of course, I rhymed. 46 00:05:02,204 --> 00:05:05,170 I metaphored. I similied. I metonymied. 47 00:05:05,333 --> 00:05:07,219 I even hyperboled. Ask them. 48 00:05:09,629 --> 00:05:13,010 Herbert Quentin Viola, don't you ever do that again. 49 00:05:13,174 --> 00:05:15,310 No one answers this phone except numero uno. 50 00:05:15,469 --> 00:05:17,107 Not Miss Hayes. Not Mr. Addison. 51 00:05:17,262 --> 00:05:19,518 No lips touch this receiver except for mine. 52 00:05:19,682 --> 00:05:21,652 -What happens when you're not here? -I'm never not here. 53 00:05:21,810 --> 00:05:24,444 What about that little journey to the necessary room? 54 00:05:24,605 --> 00:05:27,322 I time myself. I can make it there and back in six rings. 55 00:05:27,482 --> 00:05:30,163 Five on a day when I haven't had a lot of coffee. 56 00:05:33,614 --> 00:05:35,287 Good morning, Mr. Addison. 57 00:05:36,451 --> 00:05:38,954 -I mean, good afternoon. -Already? 58 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:40,793 Where does the time go? 59 00:05:41,290 --> 00:05:43,758 -Rough night? -Well, not really a rough night. 60 00:05:43,917 --> 00:05:45,721 It's a pretty rough morning though. 61 00:05:45,878 --> 00:05:48,464 Sun came up a little earlier than usual. 62 00:05:51,217 --> 00:05:55,359 You'd think for all the rent we pay here we could get a room that didn't spin. 63 00:05:55,681 --> 00:05:57,852 -What's on the agenda for today? -Well. 64 00:05:58,017 --> 00:06:00,353 Oh, there's no need to shout, Miss Di Pesto. 65 00:06:00,519 --> 00:06:02,240 Oh, sorry. 66 00:06:02,397 --> 00:06:04,282 -There was a meeting. -A meeting? 67 00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:05,532 Ten o'clock. 68 00:06:06,067 --> 00:06:10,577 -This meeting, was it important? -It was a client. 69 00:06:10,740 --> 00:06:13,456 -So I guess Miss Hayes knew about it. -Yes, sir. 70 00:06:13,617 --> 00:06:17,497 And being the shrewd devil that she is, she probably noticed my absence. 71 00:06:17,664 --> 00:06:18,791 Kind of. 72 00:06:18,956 --> 00:06:23,465 Okay, well, that's enough business. Let's go to lunch. Come on. I'm buying. 73 00:06:24,796 --> 00:06:26,683 Yes, Miss Hayes. 74 00:06:26,841 --> 00:06:28,763 Yes, Miss Hayes. 75 00:06:29,552 --> 00:06:30,643 That was Miss Hayes. 76 00:06:30,803 --> 00:06:33,140 She wants to see you in her office now. 77 00:06:34,598 --> 00:06:35,726 How do I look? 78 00:06:37,018 --> 00:06:38,111 -Lie. -Lie. 79 00:06:39,187 --> 00:06:40,778 Lie. 80 00:06:41,189 --> 00:06:43,243 I'm not gonna lie. I'm gonna go in there... 81 00:06:43,401 --> 00:06:45,787 ...look her in the peepers and tell her the truth. 82 00:06:45,946 --> 00:06:49,743 When I came to on the mother ship, the pinheads from the planet Spud... 83 00:06:49,908 --> 00:06:52,756 ...were inserting a glowing orb into my pancreas. 84 00:06:52,911 --> 00:06:56,174 I, of course, felt duty-bound to call the National Enquire... 85 00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:58,467 ...and then I came to the office. 86 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,427 Hi. 87 00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:09,179 -When did you get in? -Right to the juggler, huh? 88 00:07:09,346 --> 00:07:11,316 It was just a question. 89 00:07:11,474 --> 00:07:13,146 Okay. 90 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:17,362 I'm not gonna lie to you. There were no pinheads. 91 00:07:17,522 --> 00:07:20,952 -There-- There is no planet Spud. -No big deal. 92 00:07:21,110 --> 00:07:23,791 No big deal? Am I on the right show? 93 00:07:23,946 --> 00:07:27,245 Don't worry. I'm sure you had a reason why you missed the meeting. 94 00:07:27,408 --> 00:07:30,754 Since you wheedled it out of me. The last thing I remember clearly... 95 00:07:30,912 --> 00:07:35,255 ...is bobbing for lemon wedges with a guy who makes pot holders out of hair. 96 00:07:35,417 --> 00:07:38,431 Gosh, Dave, what happened then? Well, woke up on a houseboat... 97 00:07:38,587 --> 00:07:41,008 ...with a female wrestler on my way to Catalina. 98 00:07:41,174 --> 00:07:43,854 -Did you have fun? -One of the top 23 times in my life. 99 00:07:44,010 --> 00:07:47,604 Great. I have something for you. 100 00:07:51,101 --> 00:07:54,484 It's pink. it's got my name on it. 101 00:07:54,647 --> 00:07:56,901 -And it ain't to title to the beamer. -Open it. 102 00:07:57,066 --> 00:08:00,614 And give you the satisfaction of terminating my services. Never. 103 00:08:03,824 --> 00:08:06,410 -I quit. -David, I didn't fire you. 104 00:08:08,204 --> 00:08:10,376 -What was that? -A bonus cheque. 105 00:08:10,540 --> 00:08:11,928 A bonus cheque? 106 00:08:12,084 --> 00:08:15,133 -As in pay to the order of-- -Yes. 107 00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:17,134 We got the money on the Anselmo case... 108 00:08:17,297 --> 00:08:18,769 ...and that was your share. 109 00:08:19,592 --> 00:08:21,144 I come to work two hours late... 110 00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:25,264 ...looking like something that got found under a sofa, and you give me a bonus. 111 00:08:25,431 --> 00:08:26,689 What is reality? 112 00:08:26,850 --> 00:08:29,271 I've accepted the fact that you miss meetings. 113 00:08:30,187 --> 00:08:31,693 -You have? -I have. 114 00:08:32,106 --> 00:08:33,198 Oh, no, you haven't. 115 00:08:33,357 --> 00:08:36,988 Getting mad takes too much time and energy. I've got a business to run. 116 00:08:37,153 --> 00:08:38,575 Oh, we're gonna get the old: 117 00:08:38,737 --> 00:08:41,206 "I'm not gonna get mad at David anymore" speech. 118 00:08:41,365 --> 00:08:43,667 Happens once a season, lasts about one episode. 119 00:08:43,827 --> 00:08:46,757 The last time I heard this speech you were dancing around... 120 00:08:46,913 --> 00:08:49,418 ...doing a hoochie coochie with a spaceman. 121 00:08:49,584 --> 00:08:51,755 If I'm gonna bein business with you... 122 00:08:51,919 --> 00:08:54,684 ...I'm gonna have to learn to accept you for who you are. 123 00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:57,722 Once and for all, finally and forever, warts and all. 124 00:08:57,884 --> 00:08:59,605 Warts? I haven't touched a toad. 125 00:08:59,761 --> 00:09:02,610 Quirks, faults, flaws, fetishes, call it whatever you want. 126 00:09:02,765 --> 00:09:04,604 I'm not gonna let it get to me anymore. 127 00:09:04,767 --> 00:09:06,440 Maddie, don't bulldoze a bulldozer. 128 00:09:06,603 --> 00:09:09,071 Don't kid a Kidder. I know you. I know who you are. 129 00:09:09,230 --> 00:09:12,409 And I know what's going through that honey-blonde noggin of yours. 130 00:09:12,566 --> 00:09:15,581 -You think you know me. -Inside and out, orchestra to balcony. 131 00:09:15,738 --> 00:09:19,333 Like the back of my hand. And I'm on pretty good terms with my hand. 132 00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:22,505 You're wrong. There's lots of things you don't know about me. 133 00:09:22,662 --> 00:09:26,174 It really makes you uncomfortable that I know where all your buttons are. 134 00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:28,802 I'm not a car stereo, David. I'm not uncomfortable. 135 00:09:28,961 --> 00:09:32,390 -Then why is your nostril flaring? -I'm annoyed with this conversation. 136 00:09:32,548 --> 00:09:35,183 I know because I got your number. I got your handicap. 137 00:09:35,343 --> 00:09:37,894 You're as regular as clockwork, like Old Faithful... 138 00:09:38,054 --> 00:09:40,356 ...only younger and steamier. 139 00:09:40,516 --> 00:09:44,312 I'm not saying there aren't things about me that you know better than anyone. 140 00:09:44,478 --> 00:09:47,408 There's a lot of other things, parts of me you've never seen. 141 00:09:47,564 --> 00:09:50,068 Like that extra thigh you got stashed in the closet? 142 00:09:50,235 --> 00:09:54,459 David. Parts of me that no one else has ever seen, and I like it that way. 143 00:09:54,615 --> 00:09:57,830 You know what you know about me because I want you to know it. 144 00:09:57,994 --> 00:09:59,546 I see. So, what you're saying... 145 00:09:59,703 --> 00:10:03,002 ...is that after four years, 93 million miles to the sun and back... 146 00:10:03,165 --> 00:10:05,218 ...that this is a casual relationship. 147 00:10:05,376 --> 00:10:07,096 Of course not, David. 148 00:10:07,253 --> 00:10:11,431 You know that's not true. We're friends. Good friends. 149 00:10:11,593 --> 00:10:13,847 More than good friends. We're .... 150 00:10:16,514 --> 00:10:18,483 -Pals. -Pals? 151 00:10:18,641 --> 00:10:20,693 Pals. 152 00:10:20,851 --> 00:10:23,700 For a minute there I thought you were gonna say chums. 153 00:10:23,855 --> 00:10:26,075 Or worse yet, "buddies." 154 00:10:26,233 --> 00:10:27,704 What's so horrible about pals? 155 00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:30,992 Nothing, nothing, pals is all right. Pals is a-- Pals is a blast. 156 00:10:31,155 --> 00:10:35,118 Pals chat with each other. They go for strolls together. 157 00:10:35,285 --> 00:10:37,789 They take each other to lunch and pick up the cheque. 158 00:10:37,953 --> 00:10:41,798 I even heard of pals exchanging amusing stories with each other. 159 00:10:41,959 --> 00:10:44,379 You hear any good jokes lately? 160 00:10:45,255 --> 00:10:47,224 -Mrs. Cooper's here. -Show her in please. 161 00:10:47,381 --> 00:10:49,601 -Mrs. Cooper? -Remember the meeting? 162 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:51,480 The meeting you would've missed... 163 00:10:51,636 --> 00:10:54,223 ...but I noticed that toga-party look. I rescheduled. 164 00:10:54,389 --> 00:10:56,477 I see. But that's not because you know me. 165 00:10:56,642 --> 00:10:59,276 -No, but I know your habits. -My habits are not my own. 166 00:10:59,437 --> 00:11:00,481 I merely rent them... 167 00:11:00,647 --> 00:11:03,281 ...which is why I probably can't afford to break them. 168 00:11:05,110 --> 00:11:07,246 Mrs. Cooper, please come in. 169 00:11:07,404 --> 00:11:10,168 I'm Madelyn Hayes. This is my associate David Addison. 170 00:11:10,324 --> 00:11:11,796 -Hi. -Won't you sit down? 171 00:11:11,951 --> 00:11:13,339 Thanks. 172 00:11:13,911 --> 00:11:17,009 -Nice office. -Thank you. How may we help you? 173 00:11:17,165 --> 00:11:19,467 Well, I'm not sure. I'm married to my husband. 174 00:11:19,626 --> 00:11:21,512 We'll take the case. 175 00:11:22,212 --> 00:11:25,177 We will. You're a sucker for nut-ball stuff like this. 176 00:11:25,341 --> 00:11:26,384 Please, go on. 177 00:11:26,842 --> 00:11:29,939 Ten years ago, I met this guy in New Orleans at Mardi Gras. 178 00:11:30,096 --> 00:11:32,944 -You ever been to Mardi Gras? -No. I'm sure my partner has. 179 00:11:33,100 --> 00:11:34,440 She knows me only too well. 180 00:11:34,601 --> 00:11:36,856 It kind of has a strange effect on you. 181 00:11:37,021 --> 00:11:40,118 It makes you forget where you're from, how you got there. 182 00:11:40,274 --> 00:11:44,367 Mardi Gras just happens to you, like an operation or something. 183 00:11:44,529 --> 00:11:48,670 Anyway, the day after I met this guy, he asked me to marry him. 184 00:11:48,825 --> 00:11:51,756 And so help me, I couldn't think of a reason not to. 185 00:11:52,288 --> 00:11:55,385 Richard and I spent the next five days in a hotel room. 186 00:11:55,541 --> 00:11:58,341 It was about the happiest I've ever been. 187 00:11:58,712 --> 00:12:02,804 And then I wake up Ash Wednesday morning with a hangover, no husband. 188 00:12:02,966 --> 00:12:05,470 He was gone. Disappeared. 189 00:12:05,928 --> 00:12:08,645 I waited in the hotel room until my money ran out. 190 00:12:08,806 --> 00:12:12,567 And I tried my best to find him, but I never saw him again. 191 00:12:12,727 --> 00:12:17,698 I figured it was the Big Easy. So easy come, easy go, right? 192 00:12:17,857 --> 00:12:20,113 Only it wasn't easy. 193 00:12:20,277 --> 00:12:22,282 It was the one and only time in my life... 194 00:12:22,446 --> 00:12:25,959 ...that I've ever completely connected with another human being. 195 00:12:26,117 --> 00:12:28,455 So then I got on with my life. 196 00:12:28,620 --> 00:12:30,839 Dated, got serious a few times... 197 00:12:30,998 --> 00:12:33,502 ...but I couldn't stop thinking about this guy. 198 00:12:33,666 --> 00:12:37,381 And believe me, I am not the type to sit around waiting for anything... 199 00:12:37,546 --> 00:12:39,468 ...much less a man. 200 00:12:39,632 --> 00:12:43,346 But I realised I was never gonna be satisfied till I got him back. 201 00:12:43,512 --> 00:12:47,356 And then a few months ago, he shows up on my doorstep, out of nowhere. 202 00:12:47,516 --> 00:12:50,198 Did he mention where he'd been for the past decade? 203 00:12:50,352 --> 00:12:52,903 In jail, in Mexico. 204 00:12:53,064 --> 00:12:55,532 He left me because he knew the law was on to him. 205 00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:57,198 He figured he better lay low. 206 00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,745 But they grabbed him in Tijuana and that was that. 207 00:12:59,905 --> 00:13:01,459 He never tried to contact you? 208 00:13:01,616 --> 00:13:04,463 You ever try to mail a letter from a Mexican jail? 209 00:13:04,619 --> 00:13:06,920 Once, a long time ago but-- 210 00:13:07,079 --> 00:13:10,711 So then he moves in with me and every thing's been great for a while. 211 00:13:10,875 --> 00:13:13,758 And then one morning I roll over and look at him. 212 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:16,555 And I think, who the hell is this guy? 213 00:13:16,715 --> 00:13:19,101 I mean, he says he's my husband and maybe he is... 214 00:13:19,260 --> 00:13:21,941 ...but how would I know really. 215 00:13:22,263 --> 00:13:24,233 You never talked to him about all this? 216 00:13:24,391 --> 00:13:25,778 What am I gonna say? 217 00:13:25,933 --> 00:13:29,362 "Honey, the meatloaf's ready, and are you really the man I married?" 218 00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:32,321 Miss Hayes and I completely understand. 219 00:13:32,483 --> 00:13:33,575 We do, don't we? 220 00:13:33,734 --> 00:13:36,915 -We'll take the case. -Thank you. 221 00:13:37,822 --> 00:13:40,919 I made a copy of his driver's license, picture's pretty clear. 222 00:13:41,076 --> 00:13:44,290 And I wrote a list of the places he hangs out. 223 00:13:44,747 --> 00:13:48,709 Maybe it's all in my imagination, but I gotta know. 224 00:13:48,876 --> 00:13:50,514 Well, we'll do whatever we can. 225 00:13:51,170 --> 00:13:52,761 Thank you. 226 00:13:55,509 --> 00:13:58,856 And you thought our relationship was screwy. 227 00:14:02,433 --> 00:14:04,105 We've covered the Pitch and Putt... 228 00:14:04,268 --> 00:14:06,605 ...Cheese and Go and Sparky's Beef and Brew. 229 00:14:06,771 --> 00:14:09,157 -What's left? -Diamond Lee's and the pool hall. 230 00:14:09,316 --> 00:14:10,953 Boy, is this guy a breadwinner. 231 00:14:11,110 --> 00:14:14,408 He earned some right to some leisure time after 15 years in prison. 232 00:14:14,572 --> 00:14:16,742 You didn't believe Cooper's story, did you? 233 00:14:16,907 --> 00:14:19,588 -Yes, I did. I take it you didn't. -You take it right. 234 00:14:19,744 --> 00:14:23,208 -That rap she laid on us was flimsy. -What's wrong with her story? 235 00:14:23,373 --> 00:14:25,545 Come on, Maddie. You don't forget a person. 236 00:14:25,709 --> 00:14:28,593 I remember every pore on every body I've rubbed ribs with. 237 00:14:28,755 --> 00:14:31,720 Every mole, every birthmark, every hill. 238 00:14:31,882 --> 00:14:34,136 Dimple, pimple, tattoo. 239 00:14:34,301 --> 00:14:37,518 -Tattoo? -it's right up here. Same as you. 240 00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:40,101 I don't remember everything about every encounter. 241 00:14:40,266 --> 00:14:42,569 How many are we talking? Just a ballpark figure. 242 00:14:42,728 --> 00:14:45,232 -it's personal. -We're discussing a case. 243 00:14:45,398 --> 00:14:49,159 How many people I've been intimate with is none of your business. 244 00:14:49,319 --> 00:14:52,166 -It has nothing to do with this case. -Put them together... 245 00:14:52,322 --> 00:14:55,785 ...could you get up a game of football? Basketball? Bridge? Ping-Pong? 246 00:14:55,951 --> 00:14:59,048 -I don't wanna talk about this. -All right, then I'll tell you. 247 00:14:59,205 --> 00:15:00,629 Six. 248 00:15:00,831 --> 00:15:03,087 There was a football player in high school... 249 00:15:03,293 --> 00:15:05,298 ...under the bleachers after the big game. 250 00:15:05,462 --> 00:15:08,309 You were worried about your reputation. When you saw him... 251 00:15:08,465 --> 00:15:10,102 ...you threw caution to the wind. 252 00:15:10,467 --> 00:15:12,518 -I'm not listening. -There was Joe College. 253 00:15:12,677 --> 00:15:15,644 Golf team, madras pants, had his own room in the frat house. 254 00:15:15,806 --> 00:15:18,192 Had a sign on the door, said "slippery when wet." 255 00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:22,148 -I hope your enjoying yourself. -You moved to the city, had an affair. 256 00:15:22,314 --> 00:15:24,699 Probably some unavailable guy, probably married... 257 00:15:24,858 --> 00:15:27,492 ...which you broke off and took a vow of celibacy... 258 00:15:27,653 --> 00:15:30,371 ...which was good until you ran into the spaceman again. 259 00:15:30,531 --> 00:15:35,421 Does he count twice? Then you had a fling with a pal. 260 00:15:35,579 --> 00:15:37,666 And that leaves room for a one-night stand. 261 00:15:37,831 --> 00:15:39,802 -Are you finished? -Yeah. That's six. 262 00:15:40,376 --> 00:15:41,420 You're wrong. 263 00:15:41,586 --> 00:15:44,089 I don't know if you put out for the football player. 264 00:15:44,255 --> 00:15:47,220 If the football player showed up on my doorstep tomorrow... 265 00:15:47,383 --> 00:15:50,398 -...I'm not sure I'd recognise him. -A cherry bomb like you... 266 00:15:50,554 --> 00:15:52,607 ...I'd keep my helmet on too. 267 00:15:54,517 --> 00:15:56,403 Jeez. 268 00:16:06,488 --> 00:16:07,532 "Cue ball." 269 00:16:07,698 --> 00:16:10,796 Owner blew a few million brain cells coming up with that one. 270 00:16:10,953 --> 00:16:13,835 -Listen. You should hang on me. -What? 271 00:16:13,996 --> 00:16:17,591 -Drape yourself across me. -What on earth would I do that for? 272 00:16:17,751 --> 00:16:20,052 A girl like you is gonna walk in and get ogled. 273 00:16:20,212 --> 00:16:22,762 -I've been ogled by the best of them. -Yeah. 274 00:16:22,923 --> 00:16:27,184 You walk in there and you're gonna get ogled, hogled, moogled and boogled. 275 00:16:27,345 --> 00:16:30,809 What makes you think I can't take care of myself in there? Let me guess. 276 00:16:30,974 --> 00:16:33,857 Something to do with inside and out, orchestras, balconies. 277 00:16:34,018 --> 00:16:35,573 Front of your hand. 278 00:16:36,397 --> 00:16:38,651 You couldn't be more wrong. 279 00:16:53,749 --> 00:16:57,047 -Oh, my God. -You're doing all right. 280 00:16:57,211 --> 00:16:59,680 You should try and gets those hips as skosh closer. 281 00:16:59,839 --> 00:17:01,181 Don't you dare enjoy this. 282 00:17:01,342 --> 00:17:04,439 What are you talking about? I never worked so hard in my life. 283 00:17:05,596 --> 00:17:07,981 -Don't any of these people have jobs? -Sure. 284 00:17:08,140 --> 00:17:10,027 Rent themselves out as heavy machinery. 285 00:17:10,184 --> 00:17:12,070 Nine ball. 286 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:18,454 You know, Maddie, something not too many people know about me. 287 00:17:18,611 --> 00:17:21,030 I happen to be the E in mean of pool hustling. 288 00:17:21,197 --> 00:17:23,167 -Give me a break. -I'll give you a break. 289 00:17:23,325 --> 00:17:26,871 I'll give you a break so tough it'll make a grown man cry. 290 00:17:27,036 --> 00:17:30,251 You wanna unhook yourself and go get a cue stick over there? 291 00:17:37,465 --> 00:17:40,479 Take it easy, Little John. These guys are pussycats. Come on. 292 00:17:40,635 --> 00:17:42,771 Yeah and I'm the Catnip. 293 00:17:44,223 --> 00:17:47,770 -The trick is not to hold it too tight. -I have played pool before. 294 00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:50,403 What, billiards with your mom on a cruise ship? 295 00:17:50,814 --> 00:17:54,361 Let me show you how to play this game. Now. 296 00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:58,789 You wanna let it slide in and out. 297 00:18:00,407 --> 00:18:01,998 .|n.. -And out, David. 298 00:18:02,159 --> 00:18:04,461 I am perfectly capable of doing this myself. 299 00:18:04,620 --> 00:18:08,464 Yes, I'm sure with a little practise you can become an excellent stick handler. 300 00:18:08,625 --> 00:18:11,971 It's harder than it looks. I wouldn't want you to embarrass yourself. 301 00:18:15,884 --> 00:18:19,230 -Oh, no. -Good going. 302 00:18:26,854 --> 00:18:29,950 Excuse me, fellas. I think you have an extra ball here. 303 00:18:30,107 --> 00:18:32,741 I'm sorry, our mistake. 304 00:18:33,986 --> 00:18:35,826 Nice belt. 305 00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:43,295 Never hurts to carry a spare, I guess. 306 00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,380 Thanks. 307 00:18:58,263 --> 00:19:00,565 Next time, let's try keep the ball on the table. 308 00:19:00,725 --> 00:19:01,769 David. it's him. 309 00:19:01,935 --> 00:19:04,983 -Richard Cooper. -You're right, it's our boy. 310 00:19:05,147 --> 00:19:08,325 Buy him a drink, then take the fingerprints off the glass. 311 00:19:08,483 --> 00:19:11,449 Send a total stranger a cocktail for no good reason... 312 00:19:11,611 --> 00:19:13,783 ...he knows you want something. Got any money? 313 00:19:13,947 --> 00:19:16,202 Petty-cash envelope from the office. -How much? 314 00:19:16,367 --> 00:19:19,880 Five hundred dollars. But I need it to run the office next month. 315 00:19:20,038 --> 00:19:22,625 Look, I'm not using it to play "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida"... 316 00:19:22,791 --> 00:19:24,677 ...1500 times on the jukebox. 317 00:19:24,835 --> 00:19:27,386 Although it wouldn't be the first time. Come on. 318 00:19:27,546 --> 00:19:29,598 Let's put our money to work for us. 319 00:19:34,304 --> 00:19:37,069 Interested in a game, a little nine ball? 320 00:19:37,683 --> 00:19:39,735 -Nope. -Straight pool, then. 321 00:19:39,894 --> 00:19:42,195 You break. Winner takes the C-note. 322 00:19:42,355 --> 00:19:43,826 Nope. 323 00:19:43,981 --> 00:19:46,282 Winner takes a deuce. 324 00:19:46,441 --> 00:19:47,735 No. 325 00:19:47,901 --> 00:19:49,908 You sure you can beat this guy? 326 00:19:50,071 --> 00:19:52,658 Do balls ball? Is Minnesota fat? 327 00:19:57,538 --> 00:19:59,258 Are we on? 328 00:20:00,583 --> 00:20:02,885 Yeah. We're on. 329 00:20:49,180 --> 00:20:50,685 That was a warm-up game, right? 330 00:20:51,390 --> 00:20:53,894 I don't take money from dopes. 331 00:20:56,019 --> 00:21:00,826 -Scuzzy. But he's got a big heart. -Not a bad judge of character either. 332 00:21:00,984 --> 00:21:04,615 Should be able to get a pretty good set of prints off this cue. 333 00:21:08,618 --> 00:21:09,875 In your dreams. 334 00:21:10,036 --> 00:21:13,832 Just walk ahead of me. Act as if nothing is happening. 335 00:21:18,253 --> 00:21:20,009 Hey. 336 00:21:23,426 --> 00:21:24,636 Your friend's forgetful. 337 00:21:27,388 --> 00:21:29,310 Left his lighter. 338 00:21:30,224 --> 00:21:31,981 Thanks. I'll give it to him. 339 00:21:35,398 --> 00:21:37,533 How did that get in there? 340 00:21:44,491 --> 00:21:47,705 -Think he'll miss it? -Only if he needs alight. 341 00:22:11,395 --> 00:22:12,440 Here's today's mail. 342 00:22:12,606 --> 00:22:16,319 And would you like me to send out the second notices on last month's billing? 343 00:22:17,527 --> 00:22:21,668 -Miss Hayes, are you all right? -Oh, yes. I'm sorry. 344 00:22:21,824 --> 00:22:24,542 I guess I'm still thinking about that poor man. 345 00:22:24,702 --> 00:22:26,210 Yeah. Bummer. 346 00:22:26,371 --> 00:22:30,133 Getting blown to smithereens has gotta be a pretty awful way to go. 347 00:22:30,710 --> 00:22:33,592 I wonder what the last thing was that went through his mind. 348 00:22:33,754 --> 00:22:35,557 The dashboard? 349 00:22:36,633 --> 00:22:39,765 I think I'll go ahead and send out those second notices. 350 00:22:39,928 --> 00:22:42,894 Agnes. How are you and Burt doing? 351 00:22:44,725 --> 00:22:46,528 We're fine. 352 00:22:46,685 --> 00:22:49,866 -As always. -Really settling in together. 353 00:22:50,022 --> 00:22:52,573 Yeah. He's my pussycat. 354 00:22:52,734 --> 00:22:54,738 That's nice. 355 00:22:55,862 --> 00:22:58,544 I guess this is really your first serious relationship. 356 00:22:58,990 --> 00:23:01,957 -Oh, no. I've had bunches. -Bunches? 357 00:23:02,120 --> 00:23:04,339 You must have dated a lot of guys in college. 358 00:23:04,497 --> 00:23:06,716 Seven of the busiest years of my life. 359 00:23:06,875 --> 00:23:10,007 Agnes, would you mind if I asked you a very personal question? 360 00:23:10,170 --> 00:23:11,925 -Is this a sit-down talk? -No. No. 361 00:23:12,089 --> 00:23:14,426 You don't have to answer if you don't want to. 362 00:23:14,592 --> 00:23:18,733 I was just wondering if those guys you dated in college did you-- 363 00:23:18,889 --> 00:23:21,902 I mean, were you intimate with them? 364 00:23:22,058 --> 00:23:25,071 -This is a sit-down talk. -No, no, no. I'm just being nosey. 365 00:23:25,228 --> 00:23:26,949 That's okay. 366 00:23:27,106 --> 00:23:30,569 -My life's an open book. -No. I'm sure it's none of my business. 367 00:23:30,735 --> 00:23:32,990 -Did you like them a lot? -Almost every one. 368 00:23:33,154 --> 00:23:34,791 And you were intimate with them. 369 00:23:34,948 --> 00:23:37,628 -Almost every one of them. -What happened afterwards? 370 00:23:37,784 --> 00:23:39,291 Oh, usually we'd take a bath. 371 00:23:39,453 --> 00:23:41,292 No, no, no, I mean, afterwards. 372 00:23:41,454 --> 00:23:44,968 After you stopped being intimate. Were you still friends? 373 00:23:45,126 --> 00:23:48,056 Sure. I mean, who wants the football team mad at them. 374 00:23:48,212 --> 00:23:50,218 -Football team? -Never could figure out... 375 00:23:50,381 --> 00:23:52,683 -...which position I liked. -How did you do it? 376 00:23:52,843 --> 00:23:55,393 -I took a lot of naps in the afternoon. -No, no. 377 00:23:55,554 --> 00:23:57,441 How did you stay friends with everyone? 378 00:23:57,724 --> 00:24:00,488 I don't know. It just sort of happened that way, I guess. 379 00:24:00,643 --> 00:24:03,407 -You didn't find that difficult. -No. 380 00:24:03,563 --> 00:24:06,910 And you never sat down with someone to redefine your relationship. 381 00:24:07,067 --> 00:24:09,536 Figure out where you stood, give yourself a name. 382 00:24:09,696 --> 00:24:13,124 -Like? -Like just friends... 383 00:24:13,283 --> 00:24:16,082 ...former lovers, pals. 384 00:24:18,204 --> 00:24:19,498 Sounds so over with. 385 00:24:19,872 --> 00:24:22,423 Yeah. I guess it does. 386 00:24:22,834 --> 00:24:25,765 I got weird news and I got really weird news. 387 00:24:25,922 --> 00:24:28,970 Well, busy, busy, busy. 388 00:24:31,553 --> 00:24:34,317 David, I don't think I can take any more weird news. 389 00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:37,569 -I just found out Agnes has a past. -Let her in football. 390 00:24:37,725 --> 00:24:39,447 I hear they retired her jersey. 391 00:24:39,603 --> 00:24:42,819 So, what do you want? Weird or really weird? 392 00:24:42,982 --> 00:24:44,490 -Weird. -Good choice. 393 00:24:44,651 --> 00:24:47,450 My friend down at Homicide said the fingerprints match up. 394 00:24:47,612 --> 00:24:49,748 -It was Richard Cooper. -So it was Cooper. 395 00:24:49,906 --> 00:24:51,247 Yes and no. 396 00:24:51,408 --> 00:24:53,129 Well, it was Richard Cooper. 397 00:24:53,285 --> 00:24:57,841 But it was also John Kravitz, Peter Wentwhistle, Sam Strankweather... 398 00:24:57,998 --> 00:25:01,713 ...Keith Blackpool, and my personal favourite, Maximillian Petrovsky. 399 00:25:01,878 --> 00:25:05,058 -You mean he had five aliases? -Aliasi? 400 00:25:05,215 --> 00:25:07,303 Five different names, five different states. 401 00:25:07,467 --> 00:25:11,264 He was wanted for grand-theft auto, burglary, breaking and entering... 402 00:25:11,430 --> 00:25:16,153 ...mans|aughter, murder one, two, three and a partridge in a pear tree. 403 00:25:16,311 --> 00:25:17,403 -That man? -That man. 404 00:25:17,563 --> 00:25:19,284 How could he be? He looked normal. 405 00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:22,573 Your average axe murderer's probably gonna hit the showers .... 406 00:25:22,735 --> 00:25:25,831 -...after a hard day on the rampage. -Did his wife know? 407 00:25:25,988 --> 00:25:27,626 There was a lot she didn't know. 408 00:25:27,782 --> 00:25:31,246 She didn't know he escaped from prison, wanted in five different states. 409 00:25:31,410 --> 00:25:35,006 I'm pretty sure she didn't know her name was Mrs. Maximillian Petrovsky. 410 00:25:35,166 --> 00:25:36,258 Poor thing. 411 00:25:36,417 --> 00:25:39,265 Do the police have any idea who did it or why? 412 00:25:39,420 --> 00:25:41,591 Nothing solid. But with a record like that... 413 00:25:41,756 --> 00:25:43,642 ...the guy's bound to have made enemies. 414 00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:47,680 And now, moving right along to really weird news. Voila. 415 00:25:47,846 --> 00:25:49,519 -What's that? -What's it look like? 416 00:25:52,977 --> 00:25:55,029 A cheque made out to us for 15-- 417 00:25:55,188 --> 00:25:56,991 -Is that three zeroes? -It is. 418 00:25:57,149 --> 00:25:59,035 Who would write a cheque for so much? 419 00:25:59,192 --> 00:26:01,743 A very grateful law-enforcement official. 420 00:26:01,904 --> 00:26:02,947 -He would? -He did. 421 00:26:03,112 --> 00:26:04,454 -He did. -That is the bounty. 422 00:26:04,615 --> 00:26:07,380 And I don't mean the boat because our ship just came in. 423 00:26:07,535 --> 00:26:09,208 Cooper had a price on his head. 424 00:26:09,371 --> 00:26:11,375 What shall we do, get them tanning salons? 425 00:26:11,539 --> 00:26:13,212 -No. -Right. We should go to Ixtapa. 426 00:26:13,375 --> 00:26:15,676 Spend two months drizzling butter on each other. 427 00:26:15,835 --> 00:26:17,343 -This is not ours. -Sure it is. 428 00:26:17,504 --> 00:26:20,601 -I don't care, we're not gonna keep it. -But why? We found him. 429 00:26:20,758 --> 00:26:23,973 Said, "Dead or alive." Didn't say anything about being charbroiled. 430 00:26:24,137 --> 00:26:27,685 -You never cease to amaze me. -I am pretty doggone special, huh? 431 00:26:27,850 --> 00:26:30,946 -You're thinking I'm callous. -That's exactly what I'm thinking. 432 00:26:31,103 --> 00:26:34,449 Since you know so much, I won't tell you why we're not gonna keep it. 433 00:26:34,607 --> 00:26:37,157 Come on, Maddie. I feel sorry for what happened. 434 00:26:37,317 --> 00:26:40,581 But we don't make the rules. We don't put the bounty on his head. 435 00:26:40,739 --> 00:26:44,203 We found him. We identified him. We earned that money fair and square. 436 00:26:44,368 --> 00:26:47,251 -We got a right to keep it. -We're giving it to Nora Cooper. 437 00:26:47,413 --> 00:26:49,916 Nora Cooper? What can Nora do with 15 grand--? 438 00:26:50,082 --> 00:26:53,713 It's a decent and honourable thing to do. The subject is closed. 439 00:26:53,878 --> 00:26:56,761 -How could the subject be closed? -it's a free country. 440 00:26:56,923 --> 00:26:59,143 -Say whatever you want. -That's very democrat. 441 00:26:59,301 --> 00:27:01,603 I should have known you're gonna pull something. 442 00:27:01,762 --> 00:27:04,942 Why don't we open the window up and throw the money to the people. 443 00:27:05,099 --> 00:27:08,777 The next time the bills started piling up and you go to your chequebook... 444 00:27:08,937 --> 00:27:12,318 ...and all you see is red, don't come looking for old unreliable Dave. 445 00:27:12,482 --> 00:27:15,283 -I don't even know why-- -David, I've already told you. 446 00:27:15,444 --> 00:27:18,578 I accept the fact that you're callous, course, tardy, unreliable. 447 00:27:18,740 --> 00:27:21,670 Just accept the fact that we're not gonna accept this cheque. 448 00:27:21,826 --> 00:27:22,870 -Okay. -Fine. Thanks. 449 00:27:23,036 --> 00:27:25,670 How about a fifty-fifty split. There's plenty of money. 450 00:27:25,831 --> 00:27:29,378 David, 10 years is a long time to wait for something and not get it. Okay. 451 00:27:29,542 --> 00:27:33,256 Maybe I'm being more sentimental than practical. Maybe I'm just being stupid. 452 00:27:33,423 --> 00:27:35,844 Do you know what that woman got for being there... 453 00:27:36,009 --> 00:27:38,180 ...for all those years for that man? Nothing. 454 00:27:38,970 --> 00:27:40,643 Why do you want me to have this? 455 00:27:40,807 --> 00:27:42,692 I feel it's the least we could do. 456 00:27:43,601 --> 00:27:45,072 But it's so much money. 457 00:27:45,602 --> 00:27:48,901 I've endorsed the cheque over to you. All you have to do is cash it. 458 00:27:50,733 --> 00:27:52,704 Well, that's very generous of you. 459 00:27:55,531 --> 00:27:58,164 I don't know what else to say. 460 00:27:58,659 --> 00:28:01,838 It's so hard for me to think about money now. 461 00:28:01,996 --> 00:28:04,167 Especially this money. 462 00:28:04,499 --> 00:28:06,968 I know how you must feel, Mrs. Cooper. 463 00:28:07,127 --> 00:28:10,224 I'm really sorry everything worked out this way. 464 00:28:12,049 --> 00:28:15,347 He was so nervous, so scared. 465 00:28:15,510 --> 00:28:18,229 He's always looking over his shoulder. 466 00:28:18,390 --> 00:28:21,070 Not at all the man I remember. 467 00:28:22,602 --> 00:28:27,325 What little I could remember. I guess that's what made me wonder. 468 00:28:28,442 --> 00:28:30,329 Well... 469 00:28:30,486 --> 00:28:35,043 ...whatever he was looking for found him first. 470 00:28:36,743 --> 00:28:40,836 I just wish he could have told me, confided in me. 471 00:28:41,373 --> 00:28:44,340 But we had so little time together. 472 00:28:44,711 --> 00:28:46,798 So many years apart. 473 00:28:46,963 --> 00:28:48,885 We were strangers. 474 00:28:49,882 --> 00:28:53,514 Mrs. Cooper, if there's anything I can do. 475 00:28:53,679 --> 00:28:56,562 Well, you did what I hired you to do. 476 00:29:22,044 --> 00:29:25,675 -So how did it go? -Fine. She was very grateful. 477 00:29:33,724 --> 00:29:35,065 Yeah. 478 00:29:35,267 --> 00:29:38,613 Now, she's buying rounds down at Sparky's Beef and Brew. 479 00:29:38,979 --> 00:29:41,780 -David, please, I'm hushed. -Yeah. 480 00:29:41,941 --> 00:29:43,828 But it's a good kind of hushed? 481 00:29:43,985 --> 00:29:45,159 You went out there... 482 00:29:45,319 --> 00:29:49,662 ...rolled up your sleeves, dug up some dirt, ruined a woman's life... 483 00:29:49,824 --> 00:29:51,665 ...and gave away all our money. 484 00:29:51,828 --> 00:29:54,413 I can think of a more rewarding job than that. 485 00:29:54,581 --> 00:29:57,085 Unless, of course, you work for the government. 486 00:29:57,792 --> 00:30:00,758 -Heading home? -To peace and quiet. 487 00:30:05,426 --> 00:30:10,859 So, what's it gonna be tonight, diet delight out of a plastic bag? 488 00:30:11,015 --> 00:30:15,856 A little chardonnay. A candlelit bubble bath for one. 489 00:30:16,104 --> 00:30:20,446 A little late news, and then off to dreamland all by yourself. 490 00:30:20,859 --> 00:30:24,787 I know what you've been doing, David. Mapping me out like you've been doing. 491 00:30:24,948 --> 00:30:27,083 Who I've slept with. When, where, how, why. 492 00:30:27,242 --> 00:30:29,578 -Only to prove a point. -And you've proved it. 493 00:30:30,871 --> 00:30:33,635 You do know me better than anybody in the world. 494 00:30:33,791 --> 00:30:37,468 Better than I wanna admit. Is that what you wanted to hear? 495 00:30:37,627 --> 00:30:39,135 Thank you. 496 00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:43,227 What I resent is: You say you know me... 497 00:30:43,385 --> 00:30:47,147 ...but you make it sound like I'm a territory you've settled. 498 00:30:47,306 --> 00:30:50,271 Or a piece of music you've mastered. 499 00:30:50,559 --> 00:30:53,656 That's all right, David. I understand. 500 00:30:53,812 --> 00:30:55,984 Because I know you too. 501 00:30:56,399 --> 00:30:58,986 You're just as confused about us as I am. 502 00:30:59,153 --> 00:31:02,249 As far as I'm concerned there isn't anything confusing about us. 503 00:31:02,697 --> 00:31:04,454 "Us" banters. 504 00:31:04,617 --> 00:31:06,669 And "us" solve cases. 505 00:31:06,827 --> 00:31:09,046 And "us" used to do it... 506 00:31:09,205 --> 00:31:11,923 ...a lot more than "us" is doing it now. 507 00:31:12,083 --> 00:31:14,883 Okay, be glib. Glib is what you do best. 508 00:31:15,045 --> 00:31:17,726 But the truth, not your version or my version... 509 00:31:17,882 --> 00:31:21,430 ...but the plain and simple truth is we're trying to climb this ladder... 510 00:31:21,594 --> 00:31:23,848 ...from the middle. We're not at the beginning. 511 00:31:24,013 --> 00:31:27,277 We've got a ways to go and we don't know where we're gonna end up. 512 00:31:27,434 --> 00:31:31,575 But we're on this ladder and I don't see a way off. 513 00:31:35,151 --> 00:31:36,705 So, what shall we do? 514 00:31:37,529 --> 00:31:39,451 Don' t look down. 515 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:52,761 So you don't really wanna eat dinner out of a plastic bag tonight, do you? 516 00:31:52,921 --> 00:31:54,641 I'm not married to the idea. 517 00:31:56,968 --> 00:32:00,230 -What are you in the mood for? -What are you in the mood for? 518 00:32:01,514 --> 00:32:04,064 A nice little bistro... 519 00:32:04,225 --> 00:32:05,981 ...couple of steaks. 520 00:32:06,144 --> 00:32:09,324 Fortunately, I already made reservations. 521 00:32:11,191 --> 00:32:12,366 Don't answer. 522 00:32:17,073 --> 00:32:19,576 Hello. Yes, this is she. 523 00:32:19,741 --> 00:32:21,296 When? 524 00:32:21,953 --> 00:32:23,507 Thank you. 525 00:32:24,748 --> 00:32:28,509 Downers and Scotch is one way to get over Mardi Gras. That was the police. 526 00:32:28,669 --> 00:32:30,509 Nora Cooper is dead. 527 00:32:33,466 --> 00:32:35,139 Is that the sun coming up? 528 00:32:35,301 --> 00:32:38,564 Either that or the moon's got one hell of an infection. 529 00:32:38,930 --> 00:32:40,057 Can you believe it? 530 00:32:40,223 --> 00:32:43,356 Nobody shouts suicide, it keeps the police stationed all night. 531 00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:47,197 I would have been asleep hours ago if you remembered to pay your tickets. 532 00:32:47,357 --> 00:32:50,322 Well, I figured the authorities prefer to get one big cheque. 533 00:32:50,485 --> 00:32:54,079 Anyway, the bail bonder says he'll drop the felony no parking. 534 00:32:54,238 --> 00:32:56,826 -So how about that dinner? -At 6 in the morning? 535 00:32:56,992 --> 00:33:00,671 We shouldn't have to wait for a table. I know a place. Cackles on a raft... 536 00:33:00,830 --> 00:33:03,511 ...cups of Joe. You'll be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. 537 00:33:03,666 --> 00:33:05,636 -I just wanna go to bed. -All right. 538 00:33:05,794 --> 00:33:08,179 But the way to my heart's through my stomach. 539 00:33:08,338 --> 00:33:10,841 I thought you said this place was around the corner. 540 00:33:11,008 --> 00:33:13,477 -I didn't say which corner. -I don't see any. 541 00:33:13,636 --> 00:33:16,401 -Well, I'm taking the scenic route. -What are you up to? 542 00:33:16,556 --> 00:33:19,142 -Nothing. -I smell one of your secret agendas. 543 00:33:19,309 --> 00:33:22,607 I just haven't had my morning shower yet, that's all. 544 00:33:24,857 --> 00:33:27,869 -The truth is I started thinking. -I hate it when you do that. 545 00:33:28,026 --> 00:33:30,875 What I'm thinking about is: I'm thinking about that cheque. 546 00:33:31,030 --> 00:33:32,751 The one with 15 and lots of zeroes. 547 00:33:32,907 --> 00:33:34,794 -Nora's cheque? -I can't see how Nora... 548 00:33:34,952 --> 00:33:37,288 ...has much use for it anymore. 549 00:33:37,454 --> 00:33:39,590 -I know what you're thinking. -You don't. 550 00:33:39,749 --> 00:33:43,047 -You're thinking, "That selfish swine." -That's the 9:00 version. 551 00:33:43,210 --> 00:33:45,429 I admit, at first blush it does seem selfish. 552 00:33:45,588 --> 00:33:48,139 And cruel and horrible and ulterior and wrong. 553 00:33:48,300 --> 00:33:51,065 Don't you think you're being a tad judgemental here? 554 00:33:51,220 --> 00:33:53,557 You haven't done me the courtesy of hearing me. 555 00:33:53,722 --> 00:33:55,443 I'm all ears. 556 00:33:55,933 --> 00:33:59,860 Fortunately, not all ears. Look, we just go back to her house. 557 00:34:00,021 --> 00:34:02,156 -We get the cheque. Listen to me. -I won't. 558 00:34:02,314 --> 00:34:05,364 -it's the sensible thing to do. -Stealing a dead woman's money? 559 00:34:05,527 --> 00:34:07,615 Stealing and retrieving are very different. 560 00:34:07,780 --> 00:34:10,117 Why don't we just go after her fillings too. 561 00:34:10,283 --> 00:34:13,001 The price of gold's about to take a nosedive-- Maddie. 562 00:34:13,161 --> 00:34:15,296 Stop the car now. 563 00:34:18,417 --> 00:34:19,460 Now turn around. 564 00:34:19,625 --> 00:34:21,632 -Stop the car or turn around? -David. 565 00:34:21,795 --> 00:34:24,513 Look we gave her the money. It was a decent thing to do. 566 00:34:24,674 --> 00:34:27,438 In retrospect, I'm glad we did it. But now she's gone. 567 00:34:27,593 --> 00:34:30,275 And I believe she'd want us to have the dough. I do. 568 00:34:30,430 --> 00:34:32,850 What about her family? Everybody has a family. 569 00:34:33,016 --> 00:34:35,318 The family that's gonna come out of the drain... 570 00:34:35,477 --> 00:34:38,942 ...when they get wind of this. Do you really think Nora would want that? 571 00:34:39,106 --> 00:34:41,871 Greedy, grasping relatives bickering over her money? 572 00:34:42,027 --> 00:34:45,159 Right. She'd rather have greedy, grasping strangers have it. 573 00:34:45,322 --> 00:34:48,751 Look. We-- You gave it to her because you thought she needed it. 574 00:34:48,910 --> 00:34:51,839 Even though legally it belonged to us, am I correct? 575 00:34:51,996 --> 00:34:54,795 -You are heel. -Say her relatives do find this cheque. 576 00:34:54,957 --> 00:34:57,592 Don't you think they might wonder where this came from? 577 00:34:57,752 --> 00:35:01,514 And don't you think they might discover that it's a bounty cheque... 578 00:35:01,674 --> 00:35:03,062 ...for Nora's late husband. 579 00:35:03,217 --> 00:35:06,598 Don't you think that might be an unfortunate way to be remembered? 580 00:35:06,762 --> 00:35:09,064 Aunt Nora, the one who married the axe murderer. 581 00:35:09,224 --> 00:35:11,062 Doesn't make for a great epitaph. 582 00:35:11,225 --> 00:35:12,780 I'll bet Nora would thank us... 583 00:35:12,935 --> 00:35:15,321 ...for keeping this chapter of her life a secret. 584 00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:16,739 I rest my case. 585 00:35:20,862 --> 00:35:23,994 I must be losing my mind, you're starting to make sense. 586 00:35:29,204 --> 00:35:32,004 -I hate this. What if we get caught? -We're not. 587 00:35:32,166 --> 00:35:34,053 What if we do? 588 00:35:36,046 --> 00:35:38,845 Great. Now we're breaking and entering. 589 00:35:39,508 --> 00:35:42,141 -We're licensed detectives. -We're nothing of the sort. 590 00:35:42,302 --> 00:35:44,058 We're thieves and We're thieving. 591 00:35:44,221 --> 00:35:46,855 We're taking something back that used to belong to us. 592 00:35:47,016 --> 00:35:49,520 -Worse that makes us is Indian givers. -I hate this. 593 00:35:49,685 --> 00:35:52,189 As soon as we find the cheque we'll get out of here. 594 00:35:52,981 --> 00:35:56,494 All right, now, if I were 15 grand where would I hide? 595 00:35:57,444 --> 00:36:00,079 Underwear drawer. 596 00:36:00,447 --> 00:36:01,788 I hate this. 597 00:36:03,867 --> 00:36:05,707 Check the stand. I'll get the dresser. 598 00:36:05,870 --> 00:36:09,584 -Maybe she already cashed it. -No way, the banks were closed. 599 00:36:11,668 --> 00:36:14,255 Get a load of this home-entertainment unit right here. 600 00:36:14,422 --> 00:36:15,844 Now this is you. 601 00:36:16,006 --> 00:36:19,020 I'll close my eyes if you wanna take it for a little test ride. 602 00:36:19,176 --> 00:36:21,146 How can you paw through people's things? 603 00:36:21,304 --> 00:36:23,060 Doesn't it make you feel dirty? 604 00:36:23,223 --> 00:36:26,735 Only if there is no emotional commitment. Check the closet. 605 00:36:27,061 --> 00:36:29,481 There's a pretty nice lingerie collection. 606 00:36:29,647 --> 00:36:32,696 Why don't women wear all the good things on the outside? 607 00:36:32,858 --> 00:36:35,114 -I got it, Maddie. -Not for long. 608 00:36:35,278 --> 00:36:36,950 Have you got a frog in your throat? 609 00:36:37,113 --> 00:36:39,498 -I really hate this. -Hand it over. 610 00:36:39,658 --> 00:36:42,755 Unless you want your girlfriend to become part of the wallpaper. 611 00:36:42,912 --> 00:36:45,675 -I'm not his girlfriend. -Yeah, we're pals. 612 00:36:45,831 --> 00:36:48,382 -Give me the cheque. -This cheque? 613 00:36:48,543 --> 00:36:50,927 I was checking to see if it was the right cheque. 614 00:36:51,087 --> 00:36:53,887 Now, you two, take a seat on the bed. 615 00:36:54,049 --> 00:36:56,553 Great. My feet are killing me. 616 00:36:56,718 --> 00:36:59,353 Wait a minute, don't I know you from someplace? 617 00:36:59,513 --> 00:37:01,815 -One of the six? -He was at the pool hall. 618 00:37:01,974 --> 00:37:04,146 -He wasn't. -The one who gave you the lighter. 619 00:37:04,310 --> 00:37:07,110 That was a different guy. This guy's shorter and chubbier. 620 00:37:07,272 --> 00:37:09,858 -I'm sure it was him. -Have I ever met you before? 621 00:37:10,025 --> 00:37:12,030 -Shut up. -You killed Richard Cooper. 622 00:37:12,194 --> 00:37:14,496 No, we wouldn't be having this conversation. 623 00:37:14,656 --> 00:37:17,373 It was your fingerprints, you are Richard Cooper. 624 00:37:17,534 --> 00:37:19,954 -And Maximillian Petrovsky. -Very good. 625 00:37:20,119 --> 00:37:22,208 -Now start praying. -Wait a minute, hold it. 626 00:37:22,372 --> 00:37:25,470 You can't bump us off and leave all these people in suspense. 627 00:37:25,626 --> 00:37:29,683 -Why not? -We got seven plot points to cover. 628 00:37:29,838 --> 00:37:32,058 I'm all those people. I'm also Nora's husband. 629 00:37:32,217 --> 00:37:33,973 -Or was her husband. -You killed her. 630 00:37:34,136 --> 00:37:36,604 -It was part of the plan. -And the guy in the car. 631 00:37:36,763 --> 00:37:38,567 You frame someone with your identity. 632 00:37:38,724 --> 00:37:41,192 When he got torched, the cops stop looking for you. 633 00:37:41,352 --> 00:37:43,191 -Lays out nice. -Who was the stand in? 634 00:37:43,354 --> 00:37:44,446 -Charlie. -Charlie. 635 00:37:44,604 --> 00:37:48,449 We were cellmates for 10 years. He fell in love with the picture of Nora. 636 00:37:48,610 --> 00:37:51,540 After he got out, he looked her up, passed himself off as me. 637 00:37:51,697 --> 00:37:53,250 -You knew. -Sure. It was my idea. 638 00:37:53,407 --> 00:37:56,255 And, what the hell. I was a lifer, I hardly knew her. 639 00:37:56,411 --> 00:37:58,166 How did you get Nora to go along? 640 00:37:58,329 --> 00:38:01,259 After I broke out, I found where her and Charlie were living. 641 00:38:01,416 --> 00:38:03,884 Minute she laid eyes on me, it was Mardi Gras again. 642 00:38:04,043 --> 00:38:07,509 -And she helped you frag the guy. -So you could live happily ever after. 643 00:38:07,673 --> 00:38:08,884 Only she didn't. 644 00:38:09,050 --> 00:38:11,814 -Her problem, not mine. -Then you picked up the bounty. 645 00:38:11,970 --> 00:38:13,144 Yeah, nice little bonus. 646 00:38:13,305 --> 00:38:16,317 Never would have occurred if you hadn't given Nora that cheque. 647 00:38:16,975 --> 00:38:18,944 So shoot me. Just kidding. 648 00:38:19,101 --> 00:38:21,024 -Let me give you advice. -What's that? 649 00:38:21,188 --> 00:38:23,443 Use a pillow. it'll muffle the sound. 650 00:38:23,608 --> 00:38:25,779 I don't need advice on how to kill someone. 651 00:38:25,944 --> 00:38:28,577 You're a very tough guy but it's a quiet neighbourhood. 652 00:38:28,738 --> 00:38:30,459 The neighbours have ears. 653 00:38:30,616 --> 00:38:32,418 Well, it is your murder. 654 00:38:32,575 --> 00:38:34,912 Charlie. What are you doing alive? 655 00:38:44,672 --> 00:38:46,559 -David. -Come on. Stop the guy. 656 00:38:46,717 --> 00:38:48,556 He's getting away. 657 00:39:00,190 --> 00:39:01,235 Hey. 658 00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:02,692 Hey. 659 00:39:05,780 --> 00:39:07,452 We just happened to find one. 660 00:39:07,615 --> 00:39:10,996 Got a bell, too. Get out of the way, you bonehead. Look out! 661 00:39:19,670 --> 00:39:21,261 -Pump. -I'm pumping. 662 00:39:21,422 --> 00:39:23,509 -Pump harder. -I'm pumping as hard as I can. 663 00:39:23,674 --> 00:39:26,059 I know that you can pump harder when you want. 664 00:39:26,219 --> 00:39:30,276 Well, that's easy for you to say, all you gotta do is go along for the ride. 665 00:39:45,115 --> 00:39:47,619 Hey, don't you think we'd better slam on the breaks. 666 00:39:55,585 --> 00:39:58,515 Maybe there is a big kahuna after all. 667 00:39:58,671 --> 00:40:00,095 Stop that. 668 00:40:11,645 --> 00:40:13,532 Get up, David. 669 00:40:13,689 --> 00:40:15,694 -Get up. -I thought I was up. 670 00:40:15,857 --> 00:40:18,788 We have to catch him he's getting away. 671 00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:21,407 Go ahead. I'll meet you later for cocktails. 672 00:40:21,573 --> 00:40:22,961 Don't be such a baby, David. 673 00:40:23,116 --> 00:40:26,047 Oh, Maddie, can't we just let one bad guy get away. 674 00:40:26,203 --> 00:40:27,543 -Get up. -Besides... 675 00:40:27,704 --> 00:40:29,544 ...I thought I made a pretty good baby. 676 00:40:29,707 --> 00:40:30,881 David. 677 00:40:33,252 --> 00:40:34,806 Excuse me, ma'am. 678 00:40:34,963 --> 00:40:36,967 -Is this individual bothering you? -No. 679 00:40:37,131 --> 00:40:39,636 That individual stole my little brother's bike. 680 00:40:39,842 --> 00:40:41,136 Hop on. 681 00:40:41,303 --> 00:40:43,106 Wait a minute, what about me? 682 00:40:43,973 --> 00:40:46,523 -Pump. -Pump? 683 00:40:49,186 --> 00:40:50,824 Pump. 684 00:41:22,057 --> 00:41:23,397 Nice bike. 685 00:41:24,267 --> 00:41:29,785 -Thanks, your old lady ain't bad either. -What do you mean "old lady?" 686 00:41:50,714 --> 00:41:52,518 -Is this the guy? -That's the one. 687 00:41:52,675 --> 00:41:55,771 That piece of mould, the pathetic excuse for Homo sapiens. 688 00:41:55,928 --> 00:41:58,264 The liar, the fraud, the murderer. 689 00:41:58,555 --> 00:42:02,186 -I thought he stole your brother's bike. -Oh, he did that too. 690 00:42:12,572 --> 00:42:14,791 Not so brave now are you, blondie? 691 00:42:15,783 --> 00:42:18,204 Just try it, Coop-- Or is it Maximillian? 692 00:42:34,596 --> 00:42:36,398 David. 693 00:42:42,480 --> 00:42:45,161 -Are you okay? -Fine and dandy. 694 00:42:45,316 --> 00:42:47,654 You always did make a good impression. 695 00:42:54,952 --> 00:42:58,500 Simple principle of impact and angles. 696 00:42:58,749 --> 00:43:00,505 Thank you. 697 00:43:01,168 --> 00:43:04,514 The right impact at the right angle, that's what the game's all about. 698 00:43:04,672 --> 00:43:07,056 Actually, it's what most games are all about. 699 00:43:07,215 --> 00:43:08,806 Physics. 700 00:43:08,967 --> 00:43:10,521 Politics. 701 00:43:10,678 --> 00:43:11,770 Seduction. 702 00:43:11,929 --> 00:43:13,400 Impact and angles. 703 00:43:13,556 --> 00:43:15,644 Now, don't be embarrassed if you mess up. 704 00:43:15,809 --> 00:43:17,649 You're inexperienced... 705 00:43:17,811 --> 00:43:20,908 ...and, frankly, you're just not built to excel at this game. 706 00:43:21,065 --> 00:43:23,864 -it's an aerodynamic thing. -An aerodynamic thing? 707 00:43:24,026 --> 00:43:26,447 With practise, you might get the hang of it. 708 00:43:26,613 --> 00:43:28,949 -You think so? -Maybe. 709 00:43:29,115 --> 00:43:32,248 David, I really appreciate you taking the time to teach me. 710 00:43:32,411 --> 00:43:33,454 It's my pleasure. 711 00:43:33,621 --> 00:43:35,625 I guess that's why we're a great team. 712 00:43:35,789 --> 00:43:39,172 We know each other's strengths, we know each other's weaknesses. 713 00:43:39,336 --> 00:43:41,554 We fill in each other's blanks. 714 00:43:42,505 --> 00:43:45,305 Yes. We do, don't we? 715 00:43:46,676 --> 00:43:52,028 Course that couldn't happen unless you really know someone. 716 00:43:52,434 --> 00:43:54,984 Orchestra to balcony. 717 00:44:01,401 --> 00:44:03,870 -Like this? -Looking good. 718 00:44:05,364 --> 00:44:08,580 David, you know that guy in the fraternity house? 719 00:44:08,743 --> 00:44:12,967 -Slippery when wet. -We never really were intimate. 720 00:44:22,550 --> 00:44:25,730 But he sure taught me how to handle a stick.