1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:01,460 I love you with all my heart. 2 00:00:04,620 --> 00:00:05,620 Will you marry me? 3 00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:07,200 Faith? 4 00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:09,300 Faith? 5 00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:12,600 What are you going to do? 6 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,820 The only thing I can do. 7 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:23,460 And now, before these two are united in holy matrimony, if anyone here objects 8 00:00:23,460 --> 00:00:28,160 to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace. 9 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:29,840 I do. 10 00:00:30,860 --> 00:00:34,220 I object because I'm the one you want to be marrying. 11 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:38,240 I'm the real Ashley Storm. 12 00:00:40,220 --> 00:00:46,380 And that is my evil twin, Angela, who drugged me and buried me alive when I 13 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:49,220 threatened to reveal the location of the secret microfilm. 14 00:00:49,780 --> 00:00:54,560 But what she didn't know is that my training in the Israeli army taught me 15 00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:56,720 hold my breath for over a half an hour. 16 00:00:58,140 --> 00:01:00,880 while digging my way out with my own pants zipper. 17 00:01:02,060 --> 00:01:03,060 No. 18 00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:04,640 She's lying. 19 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:06,400 She's my evil twin. 20 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:08,680 I'm the one who was in the Israeli army. 21 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:10,240 Shalom. 22 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:15,520 Would you stop torturing yourself and turn that off? 23 00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:19,180 It's never tortured to see myself looking so beautiful. 24 00:01:20,300 --> 00:01:23,440 But this could be the only wedding I ever have. 25 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:27,580 Okay, look, I know you're hurting right now, but turning down Larry and the 26 00:01:27,580 --> 00:01:29,460 Gooch was the absolute right thing to do. 27 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:30,840 Are you sure? 28 00:01:31,140 --> 00:01:34,660 Yeah. But holding on to Larry's ring was the absolute wrong thing to do. 29 00:01:35,980 --> 00:01:36,980 Come on. 30 00:01:37,220 --> 00:01:40,720 It was his grandmother's. Not like she's going to be needing it again. 31 00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:43,060 Give me the ring. 32 00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:45,740 I believe I have a year to give it back. 33 00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:47,500 That's her wedding present. 34 00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:50,080 Fine. 35 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:52,180 Stinks of death anyway. 36 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,400 I can't believe she turned you down. I know. 37 00:02:08,979 --> 00:02:09,979 I'm so hot. 38 00:02:11,980 --> 00:02:13,440 I don't know what to say, Gooch. 39 00:02:15,140 --> 00:02:19,160 Faith is a cold -hearted witch who should be burned at the stake. 40 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:21,660 That's a little harsh. I said I didn't know what to say. 41 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:26,320 I was so close to having her out of my house. 42 00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:30,000 One minute earlier, she would have been on that plane to Japan with you. Damn 43 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:31,340 heightened security measures. 44 00:02:31,700 --> 00:02:33,560 Hey, I'm the one who got dumped. 45 00:02:35,050 --> 00:02:36,050 So what? 46 00:02:37,050 --> 00:02:40,910 You're just going to give up on her? You're going to walk back to the dugout 47 00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:41,910 after the first strike? 48 00:02:42,050 --> 00:02:43,330 No. No! 49 00:02:45,650 --> 00:02:49,490 You are going to step back up to the plate and you're going to swing for the 50 00:02:49,490 --> 00:02:50,490 fences. 51 00:02:50,870 --> 00:02:52,650 You've got to get that chick out of my attic. 52 00:02:53,970 --> 00:02:58,590 Look, I mean, I love Faith. I really do. But she made her choice. That's it. I 53 00:02:58,590 --> 00:02:59,590 understand. 54 00:03:03,030 --> 00:03:04,030 Hey. 55 00:03:04,300 --> 00:03:06,920 What if I upped the ante? I could dip in my 401K. 56 00:03:09,860 --> 00:03:10,920 I got a plane to catch. 57 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:12,480 Oh. 58 00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:13,960 I meant to give you this. 59 00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:17,740 I was going to send it to you when I got to Japan, but they don't make envelopes 60 00:03:17,740 --> 00:03:18,740 shaped like shirts. 61 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:22,460 Hiroshima Carps jersey? 62 00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:25,280 Where are the pants? 63 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,420 Oh. Hey, and you signed it. 64 00:03:33,610 --> 00:03:36,730 Gooch, I mean, I just, I wish I had something to give you. 65 00:03:38,290 --> 00:03:39,490 Hey, you like these shoes? 66 00:03:41,730 --> 00:03:43,330 Just pay for the drinks. 67 00:03:44,350 --> 00:03:45,350 See ya. 68 00:03:46,430 --> 00:03:47,430 See ya. 69 00:03:54,350 --> 00:03:58,550 Oh, damn. 70 00:04:00,610 --> 00:04:01,870 My wallet's in my car. 71 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:03,640 You like these shoes? 72 00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:09,160 And these are the china patterns that I would have picked. 73 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:14,660 A hundred bucks for a play? And it doesn't even have a cartoon character on 74 00:04:14,980 --> 00:04:15,980 What a rip. 75 00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:20,240 The whole wedding gift thing is so wasteful. 76 00:04:20,540 --> 00:04:23,560 Instead of gifts, why wouldn't you ask people to make a donation to charity? 77 00:04:24,260 --> 00:04:26,440 Yeah, I'm really not a poor people person. 78 00:04:28,700 --> 00:04:31,040 Hey, nobody knows you didn't get engaged. 79 00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:33,720 So why not just register and take the loot anyway? 80 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:39,160 Sweetie, you are going to make someone a great ex -wife someday. 81 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:42,440 Don't worry. 82 00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:45,140 That doesn't mean you have to give up your dream of being a stripper. 83 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:50,640 Well, I gave Larry your ring back. 84 00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:53,040 Did he say anything about me? 85 00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:55,580 Nothing I can say in front of the kids. 86 00:04:57,060 --> 00:04:58,320 At least I'm in his thoughts. 87 00:05:00,170 --> 00:05:02,070 He wanted you to have some clothes he left at his place. 88 00:05:04,770 --> 00:05:06,230 Oh, good, my favorite skirt. 89 00:05:11,750 --> 00:05:15,290 What? Nothing. I'm just so proud of you. 90 00:05:15,510 --> 00:05:17,790 You made a mature, rational decision. 91 00:05:18,350 --> 00:05:20,770 Well, right back at you. I'm proud of me, too. 92 00:05:22,270 --> 00:05:23,270 In fact... 93 00:05:23,500 --> 00:05:26,680 I'm thinking about writing an inspirational book for other women who 94 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:30,460 themselves proposed to by two semi -celebrities at the airport gate at the 95 00:05:30,460 --> 00:05:31,460 time. 96 00:05:31,900 --> 00:05:33,960 Yeah, who can't relate to that? 97 00:05:35,820 --> 00:05:39,440 Just out of curiosity, if you had to pick, which one would have been your 98 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:40,440 out of this ghetto? 99 00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:41,680 The Gooch. 100 00:05:42,140 --> 00:05:43,140 How come? 101 00:05:43,340 --> 00:05:48,520 Because everyone knows that Latin men make the best... tacos. 102 00:05:55,370 --> 00:05:58,430 The Gooch and me, we just had a spark. 103 00:05:59,210 --> 00:06:02,850 Well, it's a good thing you didn't wind up with him then. Because spark are what 104 00:06:02,850 --> 00:06:03,850 start fire. 105 00:06:04,070 --> 00:06:07,410 You avoided a huge disaster by not going to Japan with Gooch. 106 00:06:07,710 --> 00:06:09,870 I don't know if I would go in a huge disaster. 107 00:06:10,550 --> 00:06:13,350 Please, you alone in a foreign country with a guy you barely know? 108 00:06:13,730 --> 00:06:15,130 I would have given a week tops. 109 00:06:15,650 --> 00:06:16,650 A week? 110 00:06:17,330 --> 00:06:19,710 Sweetheart, come on. You can't handle marriage right now. 111 00:06:20,290 --> 00:06:23,610 And bless you for knowing yourself so well. Okay, first of all, I didn't 112 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:26,940 And what do you mean I can't handle marriage? 113 00:06:27,180 --> 00:06:28,260 Oh, I meant it as a compliment. 114 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:31,840 For once in your life, you're grown up enough to know you're not grown up 115 00:06:31,840 --> 00:06:32,840 to be married. 116 00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:35,820 Somebody's little sister is starting to act like an adult. 117 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:40,180 Somebody's big sister is starting to sound like somebody's dead mother. 118 00:06:41,420 --> 00:06:45,160 You know what I mean. You're not the same silly little Faith Fairfield who 119 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:48,680 almost ran off to Japan with her soulmate because her psychic told her 120 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:50,520 You're different. 121 00:07:04,650 --> 00:07:11,270 Reminds me a little bit of, dare I say, somebody's older sister. 122 00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:16,290 And dare I say one more thing? 123 00:07:18,030 --> 00:07:19,090 What? Stop now. 124 00:07:20,810 --> 00:07:22,370 Just three little words. 125 00:07:23,990 --> 00:07:26,990 Good for you. 126 00:07:29,110 --> 00:07:30,110 Children. 127 00:07:32,110 --> 00:07:33,990 Come duct tape and a shovel. 128 00:07:40,910 --> 00:07:42,690 Turn that frown upside down. 129 00:07:43,410 --> 00:07:44,650 There will be other men. 130 00:07:51,710 --> 00:07:54,630 Not another man dumb enough to take her halfway across the world. 131 00:07:56,930 --> 00:08:01,630 You know, I met a bartender who's perfect for her. I need to get in touch 132 00:08:01,630 --> 00:08:02,630 him anyway. He's got my shoes. 133 00:08:03,610 --> 00:08:07,230 The last thing Faith needs is to rush into another relationship right now, and 134 00:08:07,230 --> 00:08:08,230 she knows that. 135 00:08:08,450 --> 00:08:09,730 I think Faith's changing. 136 00:08:10,510 --> 00:08:11,510 For the better. 137 00:08:12,190 --> 00:08:14,370 Was there any other direction for her to go? 138 00:08:16,050 --> 00:08:17,790 Honey, give her a little credit. 139 00:08:18,430 --> 00:08:20,230 I'm just glad she didn't get married on a whim. 140 00:08:21,310 --> 00:08:22,490 Guess what? 141 00:08:22,750 --> 00:08:23,750 We eloped! 142 00:08:26,810 --> 00:08:29,750 What? I can't believe you just up and eloped like that. 143 00:08:30,130 --> 00:08:32,190 It's called spontaneity, Hope. 144 00:08:32,570 --> 00:08:35,429 By the way, if you're looking for your car, it's at the airport, Lot C. 145 00:08:36,909 --> 00:08:38,890 Oh, oh, check out the wedding photos. 146 00:08:39,340 --> 00:08:41,480 This big machine takes them for a dollar. 147 00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:48,060 So now I am officially Mrs. Faith Gooch. 148 00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:50,300 Gooch. 149 00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:51,800 What is it again? 150 00:08:52,780 --> 00:08:53,780 Goochars. 151 00:08:53,980 --> 00:08:56,100 Oh, well, I'm keeping my maiden name. 152 00:09:10,090 --> 00:09:11,090 Apparently, when are you leaving? 153 00:09:12,110 --> 00:09:17,250 Well, we're going to honeymoon here for a couple of days, and then we're off to 154 00:09:17,250 --> 00:09:20,270 Japan. We'll send you a postcard from the Great Wall. 155 00:09:23,050 --> 00:09:26,530 Either way, enjoy that magical faraway continent. 156 00:09:27,030 --> 00:09:28,030 Wait, wait, wait. 157 00:09:28,090 --> 00:09:29,410 Can we back up for a second? 158 00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:30,610 What happened? 159 00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:32,330 I thought you were getting on a plane. 160 00:09:32,610 --> 00:09:36,570 No, I was about to, but a very romantic somebody had me put on the no -fly lift. 161 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:44,400 We got married in the airport chapel. 162 00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:45,780 A storybook. 163 00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:47,580 Actually, Hope, it was. 164 00:09:48,340 --> 00:09:51,340 My maid of honor, Olga, is a flight attendant for Lufthansa. 165 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:56,100 She threw me a wicked bachelorette party in the frequent flyers lounge. 166 00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:59,140 That Olga had some rack. 167 00:10:01,620 --> 00:10:02,620 Sorry, babe. 168 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:05,180 I'm just getting used to, you know, being married. 169 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:07,920 That lady had lovely boobs. 170 00:10:14,189 --> 00:10:17,270 Apparently, your Aunt Faith got it into her head that she would just go off and 171 00:10:17,270 --> 00:10:17,929 get married. 172 00:10:17,930 --> 00:10:19,550 As if she was buying eggs. 173 00:10:20,050 --> 00:10:21,050 Or a loaf of bread. 174 00:10:22,750 --> 00:10:25,390 Cool, my uncle's a professional baseball player. 175 00:10:25,690 --> 00:10:27,230 Can you come to career day? 176 00:10:27,910 --> 00:10:29,890 What? He said it was canceled. 177 00:10:32,770 --> 00:10:33,770 Gotta go. 178 00:10:37,810 --> 00:10:40,690 Aunt Faith, I can't believe you got married and none of us got to be there. 179 00:10:40,930 --> 00:10:43,010 Oh, we're going to recreate it right here. 180 00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:45,180 I've got enough rice for everybody. 181 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:52,220 Well, you always dream of a day like this. 182 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:57,460 When it finally comes, tears are always a surprise. 183 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:07,000 Here comes the bride, all dressed in semi -formal jeans and a striped 184 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,000 top. 185 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:12,780 Hey, you didn't toss any rice. 186 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,060 Well, I wouldn't want to be impulsive and just throw it at you. 187 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:17,600 Might get in your eye. 188 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:20,760 See, Faith, I like to think things through. 189 00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:24,780 It's about not being a bridesmaid. Olga warned me you might be bitter. 190 00:11:26,780 --> 00:11:29,540 Can I have a word with you? Not until you throw rice at me. 191 00:11:48,140 --> 00:11:49,660 Kitchen. Now. 192 00:11:52,540 --> 00:11:57,620 You know, Japanese fishermen have been slaughtering whales for years. With your 193 00:11:57,620 --> 00:11:59,920 influence, we could prevent their imminent extinction. 194 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:05,120 Don't worry. 195 00:12:05,340 --> 00:12:07,060 Chances are your kids won't be this smart. 196 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:11,960 I mean, even for you, this doesn't make sense. 197 00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:15,200 Okay, can we speed this along because the reception starts in ten minutes? 198 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:17,920 Hope you're ready to make your toast. 199 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:21,300 Okay. Here's my toast. 200 00:12:21,980 --> 00:12:24,120 What the hell is wrong with you? 201 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:27,680 I feel like you're just phoning it in. 202 00:12:29,020 --> 00:12:33,160 Why are you trying to ruin my big day? You can't be serious. This whole thing 203 00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:33,719 a joke. 204 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,600 I see. So now you're stealing my toast from your wedding. 205 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:44,840 I don't get it. I thought you were doing the right thing. I thought for once... 206 00:12:44,860 --> 00:12:45,960 You are going to be mature. 207 00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:52,660 Well, I'm not. And I never will be, so... Okay. 208 00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:54,520 Just tell me this. 209 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:59,200 What changed between this morning and you using the Homeland Security Act to 210 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:00,200 Gooch off the plane? 211 00:13:01,660 --> 00:13:03,000 I had time to reflect. 212 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:08,480 And I realized that I am ready to be Mrs... Whatever his last name is. 213 00:13:09,300 --> 00:13:13,700 You see? You don't know anything about the Gooch. I know that I love him. And 214 00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:14,700 the rest of that... 215 00:13:14,860 --> 00:13:15,819 will come later. 216 00:13:15,820 --> 00:13:17,780 That stuff is important. 217 00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:23,840 I mean, marriage is about friendship and trust and compatibility. 218 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:27,580 Charlie and I dated for two years before we got engaged. 219 00:13:27,860 --> 00:13:31,980 We knew each other. Hey, at the risk of repeating myself... 220 00:13:31,980 --> 00:13:38,620 Fine. I just want to go on record 221 00:13:38,620 --> 00:13:44,480 as saying that when this tasty little marriage falls apart, I will not be 222 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:45,480 to... Pick up the pieces. 223 00:13:45,850 --> 00:13:49,170 Well, I just want to go on the record as saying that you're not the only one 224 00:13:49,170 --> 00:13:50,670 that knows how to be married. 225 00:13:51,070 --> 00:13:52,850 This marriage will work. 226 00:13:55,210 --> 00:13:56,210 You know something? 227 00:13:56,510 --> 00:14:00,090 Ola was a lot more supportive than you, and I couldn't understand a word she was 228 00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:01,090 saying. 229 00:14:23,310 --> 00:14:24,310 I'm going to go hit a buck and a ball. 230 00:14:25,230 --> 00:14:27,350 She's absolutely not ready to be married. 231 00:14:29,150 --> 00:14:30,150 So close. 232 00:14:30,630 --> 00:14:34,530 And the way she did it, eloping, what is up with that? 233 00:14:36,030 --> 00:14:37,030 Right there with you. 234 00:14:37,730 --> 00:14:38,930 I just don't get it, Charlie. 235 00:14:39,350 --> 00:14:45,150 I heaped praise on her for being mature, and not two seconds later, she does the 236 00:14:45,150 --> 00:14:50,470 most immature thing she possibly... Well, it seems like you got a good grip 237 00:14:50,470 --> 00:14:51,470 it. I'll be on myself. 238 00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:56,640 She is still a child. 239 00:14:59,220 --> 00:15:03,840 Honey, you need to settle down or fill the sink with milk. 240 00:15:04,780 --> 00:15:06,020 I don't want to settle down. 241 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,000 You know what? 242 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:10,600 All you care about is that she's married off and you're rid of her. 243 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:12,080 Oh. 244 00:15:13,020 --> 00:15:17,360 Did you ever think she might be back in a month when all things fall apart and 245 00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:18,800 we'll be expected to pick up the pizzas? 246 00:15:19,100 --> 00:15:20,100 Yeah, we're good for the month, right? 247 00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:25,180 She rushed into it, and it's not going to work. 248 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:27,780 It's the Nixon tattoo all over again. 249 00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:32,860 I think you're angry because Faith didn't do what you thought she should 250 00:15:33,220 --> 00:15:36,920 Did it ever occur to you that it might work out with her and the gooch? 251 00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:39,080 You know what, honey? 252 00:15:39,700 --> 00:15:42,160 Let me just cut through all the marital knife talk. 253 00:15:43,140 --> 00:15:44,140 You're an idiot. 254 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:51,380 Yeah, well... Your cookie dough is way too gluey. 255 00:15:54,570 --> 00:15:56,030 much worse than what I just said to you. 256 00:15:58,990 --> 00:16:03,150 Just think about it. They're both superficial, immature, washed -up 257 00:16:03,310 --> 00:16:06,190 If they could love each other half as much as they love themselves, who knows? 258 00:16:06,510 --> 00:16:08,370 We could be dancing at their 50th. 259 00:16:09,790 --> 00:16:11,410 Provided I haven't moved on to my trophy wife. 260 00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:13,930 Yes. 261 00:16:15,750 --> 00:16:22,510 But look, you may not believe this, but the Gooch really does love her. 262 00:16:23,180 --> 00:16:28,780 You don't know that. Yes, I do. He told me. He tells me a lot of important 263 00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:29,780 things. 264 00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:33,760 You know, his father never held him as a child. 265 00:16:35,380 --> 00:16:39,220 Is that true? Very cold, sterile man. Worked for the railroad, I think. No! 266 00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:41,880 About the gooch loving her. 267 00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:43,560 He really does. 268 00:16:43,900 --> 00:16:45,900 And you've seen how she is when she's with him. 269 00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:48,140 You're right. 270 00:16:48,700 --> 00:16:50,680 She does seem happy when she's around him. 271 00:16:51,850 --> 00:16:55,790 And she's been a lot nicer to the neighborhood cats lately. 272 00:17:00,870 --> 00:17:02,610 It seems like you've got two choices. 273 00:17:03,270 --> 00:17:07,250 You can either accept this marriage or you can risk losing your sister forever. 274 00:17:07,450 --> 00:17:11,530 Now, I would lean to the second option, but I know how miserable you'd be. 275 00:17:13,849 --> 00:17:14,990 I would be miserable. 276 00:17:15,869 --> 00:17:17,430 Then just go talk to her. 277 00:17:19,790 --> 00:17:20,790 You're right. 278 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,099 I will. Thanks. 279 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:24,119 Mmm, good. 280 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:25,819 Well, those balls aren't going to hit themselves. 281 00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:30,660 Oh, by the way, do you have any idea what your daughter did this morning? 282 00:17:30,660 --> 00:17:31,700 don't even care which one. Bye. 283 00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:40,480 You smell that? 284 00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:43,500 Hope's baking. 285 00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:46,100 She must be really upset. 286 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,960 I don't get it. I thought she'd be really happy for you. 287 00:17:50,250 --> 00:17:53,770 Did you see the look on her face when she saw my veil? It was like I smacked 288 00:17:53,770 --> 00:17:54,770 with a bag of nickels. 289 00:17:55,590 --> 00:17:57,770 So you're happy that your sister's not happy? 290 00:17:58,630 --> 00:18:01,530 Oh, the cute ones are always so slow. 291 00:18:04,490 --> 00:18:08,870 She told me I was right to turn down your proposal. She actually said I was 292 00:18:08,870 --> 00:18:10,390 rushing into it. Can you believe that? 293 00:18:10,670 --> 00:18:12,250 Well, maybe she's just looking out for you. No! 294 00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:14,470 She said we never would have worked, but see? 295 00:18:14,790 --> 00:18:17,890 It's our 17th hour anniversary, and we're doing great. 296 00:18:18,170 --> 00:18:19,170 Who's right? 297 00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:27,400 Let's make love really loudly so she can hear how happy we are. Okay, okay, but 298 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:29,100 we are happy, right? 299 00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:31,160 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's do it over by the door. 300 00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:35,320 Wait a minute. Why does it matter if she hears us? 301 00:18:35,540 --> 00:18:37,340 So she knows that I'm right and she's wrong. 302 00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:39,220 And that's important. Why? 303 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:42,680 Spoken like an only child. 304 00:18:43,020 --> 00:18:44,320 I have four brothers and three sisters. 305 00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:46,360 Really? 306 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:49,420 Well, we'll all have to get to know each other someday. 307 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,640 Let's show Hope how much we love each other. 308 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:55,440 Drop the undies. 309 00:18:56,420 --> 00:18:57,520 Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait. 310 00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:00,860 Did you only marry me to prove some point to your sister? 311 00:19:01,300 --> 00:19:02,300 No. 312 00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:04,780 I also wanted to rub her nose in it. 313 00:19:05,940 --> 00:19:08,640 The fact that I actually love you just sweetens the pot. 314 00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:10,040 Wow. 315 00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:13,140 Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop getting dressed. 316 00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:16,740 You're going the wrong way. We're supposed to be headed towards 317 00:19:17,420 --> 00:19:18,580 I don't believe this. 318 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:20,440 What are you doing? I'm packing. 319 00:19:21,379 --> 00:19:25,460 Honey, you don't need luggage in Nakedville. You should know that. We 320 00:19:25,460 --> 00:19:26,460 there. 321 00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:28,760 It's over, Faith. 322 00:19:29,060 --> 00:19:30,060 I'm going to Japan. 323 00:19:30,260 --> 00:19:33,720 Alone. Oh, no, you don't. We are a happily married couple. 324 00:19:34,060 --> 00:19:37,380 And you will stay here and prove to my sister that we can't make this stupid 325 00:19:37,380 --> 00:19:38,380 marriage work. 326 00:19:39,820 --> 00:19:41,460 I don't care what Tom Cruise says. 327 00:19:42,260 --> 00:19:43,500 You need to be medicated. 328 00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:59,580 Look who dropped by unannounced, raising all sorts of privacy issues. 329 00:20:01,860 --> 00:20:02,860 Can I come in? 330 00:20:03,260 --> 00:20:05,400 Uh, I prefer you didn't. 331 00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:11,620 Gooch is having a siesta, as his people do. 332 00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:17,560 Well, since you had such a quick wedding, I made you a cake. 333 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:19,600 It's a little crooked. 334 00:20:19,780 --> 00:20:21,680 I threw it up against the wall at one point. 335 00:20:22,140 --> 00:20:23,460 Same thing with me and the Gooch. 336 00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:30,270 I had no right to question whether your marriage would work out or not. 337 00:20:31,250 --> 00:20:32,250 Apology accepted. 338 00:20:32,370 --> 00:20:35,750 See ya. For all I know, you guys will outlast Charlie and me. 339 00:20:36,170 --> 00:20:37,270 Are we done here? 340 00:20:37,730 --> 00:20:40,450 Because Gooch could be waking up for a second round. 341 00:20:40,810 --> 00:20:42,710 Because we're totally nuts about each other. 342 00:20:43,350 --> 00:20:44,350 Just one more thing. 343 00:20:44,550 --> 00:20:48,270 I know this is going to sound crazy, but I was upset. 344 00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:52,250 I felt like you kind of ran off and got married just to spite me. 345 00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:55,010 That does sound crazy. 346 00:20:55,660 --> 00:20:57,000 Now, get out of here, you kook. 347 00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:03,540 And I just want to say that I think you and Gooch make a great couple. 348 00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:07,020 And I'm sure you'll have a long and happy marriage. 349 00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:16,560 Hey, Hope. 350 00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:18,320 I'm out of here. 351 00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:20,120 Okay. 352 00:21:21,540 --> 00:21:22,540 Where's he going? 353 00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:24,860 to the gym. Bye, Sweetums. You're crazy! 354 00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:30,140 Crazy about you, you big steaming pile of machismo! 355 00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:39,620 All right, Justin, as requested, one pancake shaped like Mickey Mouse. 356 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:44,380 And Haley, as requested, one pancake shaped like a saltwater mullet. 357 00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:49,740 For future reference, only the fresh water wings have antennae. For future 358 00:21:49,740 --> 00:21:51,780 reference, next time it's waffle. 359 00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:56,200 What is mine supposed to be shaped like? 360 00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,100 Like a breakfast you didn't have to make for yourself. 361 00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:01,260 Oh, yeah. Now I recognize it. 362 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:07,080 Gooch, I know you'll miss me, but I'll be back in a minute. Just stared my 363 00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:09,420 publicity shot from Circus of the Stars. 364 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:12,380 Sounds like somebody likes married life. 365 00:22:12,620 --> 00:22:17,360 Oh, likes married life doesn't even begin to describe how much I likes 366 00:22:17,360 --> 00:22:18,360 life. 367 00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:21,720 Isn't the Gooch going to come down and have breakfast with us one of these 368 00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:24,780 mornings? Is he avoiding us because of the way I reacted when you first got 369 00:22:24,780 --> 00:22:25,780 married? 370 00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:27,480 Uh, yeah. 371 00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:30,880 I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to hurt your feelings, but 372 00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:32,580 he hates your guts. 373 00:22:34,700 --> 00:22:35,700 What about me? 374 00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:37,340 He likes you fine. Yes! 375 00:22:38,620 --> 00:22:40,160 God, I feel awful. 376 00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:42,480 What can I do to make it up to him? 377 00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:44,620 Well, he is a breast man. 378 00:22:45,180 --> 00:22:46,980 Perhaps you could pay for my implants? 379 00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:50,660 I saw that you registered for those. 380 00:22:51,219 --> 00:22:52,219 But no. 381 00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:57,540 There must be something biological that happens to a woman after she says, I do. 382 00:22:57,840 --> 00:23:00,440 I mean, who knew that I love to cook? 383 00:23:03,260 --> 00:23:04,260 This is crazy. 384 00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:07,960 Why don't I make a nice dinner, you guys come down, and we can all eat together 385 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:08,859 as a family. 386 00:23:08,860 --> 00:23:11,440 Well, I'm willing to, but I don't think the Gooch will. 387 00:23:11,900 --> 00:23:15,080 He said, and I quote, she can go spit to the mountains. 388 00:23:17,360 --> 00:23:19,700 It loses some of its ferocity in translation. 389 00:23:23,190 --> 00:23:24,149 That's it. 390 00:23:24,150 --> 00:23:26,750 I'm going to go upstairs and talk. No, no, no, you can't. 391 00:23:27,290 --> 00:23:29,590 You'll offend his fiery Latin temperament. 392 00:23:30,290 --> 00:23:32,750 He'll pick up a bat and split your head open like it's a piñata. 393 00:23:33,870 --> 00:23:36,250 And when no candy comes out, he'll be even madder. 394 00:23:38,090 --> 00:23:40,270 I saw him go off on a mascot once. 395 00:23:40,710 --> 00:23:41,830 Feathers everywhere. 396 00:23:43,670 --> 00:23:44,830 Look, I'll talk to him. 397 00:23:45,170 --> 00:23:47,470 I know how to do that because I'm his wife. 398 00:23:47,790 --> 00:23:48,970 And we're happily married. 399 00:23:49,510 --> 00:23:50,409 So, Mrs. 400 00:23:50,410 --> 00:23:54,620 Gutierrez. When did Japan get to welcome the happily married? Oh, soon, soon. 401 00:23:55,660 --> 00:23:57,160 Fascinating country, really. 402 00:23:57,860 --> 00:24:00,420 The kimonos, the wasabi. 403 00:24:01,020 --> 00:24:03,540 The way everyone fights in slow motion. 404 00:24:05,580 --> 00:24:06,580 Door, please. 405 00:24:08,260 --> 00:24:11,060 Look out, Gooch. Here comes your little geisha. 406 00:24:15,780 --> 00:24:16,860 Poor Japan. 407 00:24:17,460 --> 00:24:19,740 First the bomb, now faith. 408 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:29,700 Yeah, no, thanks for calling back. I have a question about our biology 409 00:24:30,460 --> 00:24:31,900 What's our teacher's name again? 410 00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:37,260 You know what? Let me call you right back. 411 00:24:37,580 --> 00:24:38,580 Okay, bye. 412 00:24:41,180 --> 00:24:42,180 What are you doing? 413 00:24:42,500 --> 00:24:47,080 Oh, the Gucci's making me eat an extra plate. He doesn't think I have enough 414 00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:48,080 junk in the trunk. 415 00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:54,240 I know I've only been lying full -time for like four years now, but come on. 416 00:24:56,870 --> 00:25:01,470 All right, Sid, if I tell you something, do you promise not to tell your parents 417 00:25:01,470 --> 00:25:04,670 that Gooch left me three days ago? 418 00:25:05,370 --> 00:25:07,250 Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Why? 419 00:25:08,110 --> 00:25:09,430 The details are fuzzy. 420 00:25:11,690 --> 00:25:14,790 Look, the important thing is that I don't want your mother finding out that 421 00:25:14,790 --> 00:25:15,790 marriage didn't last. 422 00:25:16,450 --> 00:25:20,650 But your marriage didn't last. Hey, let's talk after you've been married a 423 00:25:20,650 --> 00:25:21,650 couple of days. 424 00:25:22,490 --> 00:25:23,490 Relationships are hard. 425 00:25:24,300 --> 00:25:25,300 Now help me eat. 426 00:25:26,500 --> 00:25:27,500 Hey, but why? 427 00:25:27,820 --> 00:25:31,260 Because your mother has this annoying habit of going through the trash. Heaven 428 00:25:31,260 --> 00:25:34,440 forbid I forget to recycle a can or throw away a lit cigarette. 429 00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:39,540 In fact, my parents are dumb, but I mean, they're not that dumb. 430 00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:43,400 Eventually, even they figured out that no one gives cello lessons at 11 o 431 00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:44,400 on Saturday nights. 432 00:25:45,740 --> 00:25:49,460 And don't worry, I'm going to find the gooch. I've been searching Japanese 433 00:25:49,460 --> 00:25:50,460 books online. 434 00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:54,400 So far, nobody there knows where he is, but I'm only halfway through the A's. 435 00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:56,980 He's not in Japan. 436 00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:00,780 Oh, Mr. Akinaba was telling the truth. 437 00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:03,680 Yeah, I saw him, like, yesterday. 438 00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:06,440 He's still in town? 439 00:26:07,260 --> 00:26:11,780 I don't believe it. He couldn't leave me. Where did you see him? At the 440 00:26:11,780 --> 00:26:12,780 cages at school. 441 00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:16,280 Oh, my God, Sidney, you were at school yesterday? 442 00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:19,400 Sort of. 443 00:26:19,580 --> 00:26:20,740 I was under the bleachers. 444 00:26:21,180 --> 00:26:24,700 At least you were on school property. 445 00:26:25,420 --> 00:26:26,420 Good for you. 446 00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:39,640 Please, Coach. 447 00:26:39,900 --> 00:26:40,900 Hear me out. 448 00:26:41,140 --> 00:26:44,580 No. I just ordered much -loved dogs on pay -per -view. It's coming on any 449 00:26:44,580 --> 00:26:45,580 minute. 450 00:26:46,570 --> 00:26:50,090 I called every hotel in town until I found a Mr. Seymour Booty registered. 451 00:26:53,130 --> 00:26:54,410 I knew it was you. 452 00:26:56,810 --> 00:26:57,810 Seymour Booty? 453 00:26:59,250 --> 00:27:03,190 That cracks me up. Yeah, me too. 454 00:27:03,910 --> 00:27:06,070 See, we're perfect together. 455 00:27:06,870 --> 00:27:12,150 And yes, I got sucked into Hope's drama. But I mostly married you because I love 456 00:27:12,150 --> 00:27:14,050 you. And you love me. 457 00:27:15,050 --> 00:27:17,090 I mean, why else haven't you gone back to Japan? 458 00:27:17,750 --> 00:27:18,750 Are you kidding? 459 00:27:18,890 --> 00:27:21,410 They're going to charge me 50 bucks to change my ticket. 460 00:27:22,090 --> 00:27:23,090 Really? 461 00:27:23,270 --> 00:27:25,770 What's this room costing you? 75 a night. 462 00:27:27,830 --> 00:27:28,830 Damn it. 463 00:27:31,330 --> 00:27:32,470 Look, can I come in? 464 00:27:32,870 --> 00:27:35,990 I feel like a hooker trying to seal the deal. 465 00:27:40,550 --> 00:27:41,550 Look, Gooch. 466 00:27:42,350 --> 00:27:44,450 For three days I've been acting like you haven't left. 467 00:27:46,090 --> 00:27:48,010 I've even pretended to have sex with you. 468 00:27:49,290 --> 00:27:51,470 But it's not as much fun as when you're actually there. 469 00:27:51,750 --> 00:27:53,990 Except this one time, but I'll show you how to do that. 470 00:27:54,330 --> 00:27:57,890 Why don't you just diagram it and I'll check it out later. Already have. 471 00:28:00,770 --> 00:28:06,210 I don't think I've been that way. 472 00:28:09,170 --> 00:28:10,170 Come on, baby. 473 00:28:10,830 --> 00:28:11,789 We belong. 474 00:28:11,790 --> 00:28:14,970 together i mean why else did you ask me to marry you 475 00:28:14,970 --> 00:28:24,150 that's 476 00:28:24,150 --> 00:28:29,730 why i asked you to marry me and that's why i said yes plus 477 00:28:29,730 --> 00:28:35,650 i wasn't about to be outdone by that guy larry i mean come on he's a third -rate 478 00:28:35,650 --> 00:28:36,650 newscaster 479 00:28:37,120 --> 00:28:40,800 Excuse me? Okay, second rate. I'm feeling the warmth of your body. It's 480 00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:42,320 me feel generous. Oh, wait a minute. 481 00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:46,200 Are you saying you only proposed to me because Larry did? 482 00:28:46,500 --> 00:28:47,419 No, baby. 483 00:28:47,420 --> 00:28:49,420 I... I love you. 484 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:53,520 And marriage, it's... It was part of my long -term plan. I mean, it was right up 485 00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:54,520 there with monogamy. 486 00:28:55,780 --> 00:28:56,900 And kicking steroids. 487 00:28:58,100 --> 00:29:01,540 But sometimes you get drawn in, you know, to the bidding war. 488 00:29:04,340 --> 00:29:07,740 Oh, how is that worse than you marrying me to prove some point to your sister? 489 00:29:07,940 --> 00:29:10,060 That was three days ago. Are you still on that? 490 00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:14,360 I don't think we should be married at all. No, no, no, no, no, no. Come on, 491 00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:17,680 on, come on. Let's just, let's just, uh, let's just get going on a diagram, 492 00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:18,800 right? 493 00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:19,920 Forget it. 494 00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:23,200 I still have my dignity. 495 00:29:44,330 --> 00:29:45,570 The Gooch is so famous. 496 00:29:46,110 --> 00:29:48,350 Eh, Glen Falls is a hard luck town. 497 00:29:48,770 --> 00:29:53,210 Other than the Gooch, we've had one lady bowler with the ironic name of Janet 498 00:29:53,210 --> 00:29:54,210 Dykstra. 499 00:29:56,550 --> 00:29:59,750 Uh, look, my son and I wanted to get this framed. 500 00:30:00,110 --> 00:30:01,110 Hey, 501 00:30:01,170 --> 00:30:02,730 the Gooch is here to see McCarthy. 502 00:30:03,170 --> 00:30:07,090 Hey, you sure you don't want to sell this? No, no way. That baby's going up 503 00:30:07,090 --> 00:30:08,090 the fireplace. 504 00:30:08,250 --> 00:30:09,490 I'll give you 300 bucks. 505 00:30:09,750 --> 00:30:11,090 You know, I could always get another one. 506 00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:13,920 The Gooch is my brother -in -law. 507 00:30:14,460 --> 00:30:17,100 And, uh... My best friend. 508 00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:21,980 I thought Mom was your best friend. 509 00:30:22,220 --> 00:30:24,500 Your mom didn't hit 34 home runs last year, did she? 510 00:30:26,940 --> 00:30:27,940 All right, Frank. 511 00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:30,300 200 signed cards for the charity. 512 00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:31,800 God bless those kids. 513 00:30:32,740 --> 00:30:35,060 So, just give me my cut in cash. That'd be great. 514 00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:37,700 Hey! Justin! 515 00:30:37,900 --> 00:30:39,540 Charlie! How's it going? 516 00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:40,760 Oh! 517 00:30:40,940 --> 00:30:41,940 You know... 518 00:30:42,380 --> 00:30:43,380 Pretty good. 519 00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:46,200 Just buying this jersey off your buddy here. 520 00:30:48,420 --> 00:30:49,920 You selling the jersey I gave you? 521 00:30:50,740 --> 00:30:52,880 No, I was... No, no, no, hey, hey, it's okay. 522 00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:55,720 I just see you in a different light now, that's all. 523 00:30:56,760 --> 00:31:02,260 No. Yeah, forget it. Just throw that in the charity pile. God bless those kids. 524 00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:04,880 See? Back to the old light. 525 00:31:07,900 --> 00:31:09,900 So, when are you and Faith taking off? 526 00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:11,520 Taking off? 527 00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:15,620 She didn't tell you? We had a fight. I left her four days ago. 528 00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:21,700 She's been bringing food up to you and having conversations with you. You two 529 00:31:21,700 --> 00:31:27,100 have been kind of loud with your honeymoon activities. 530 00:31:28,460 --> 00:31:30,880 What did Aunt Faith want you to give to her anyway? 531 00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:35,220 Hey, Frank, a baseball card for the kid, huh? 532 00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:37,600 I can't believe it's over. 533 00:31:37,940 --> 00:31:38,940 Well, it's true. 534 00:31:39,220 --> 00:31:40,860 Can't you take her to Japan anyway? 535 00:31:42,030 --> 00:31:42,849 She's a blonde. 536 00:31:42,850 --> 00:31:45,230 That ought to fetch a pretty penny on the black market. 537 00:31:46,570 --> 00:31:47,610 Are you serious? 538 00:31:48,130 --> 00:31:49,130 He's gone? 539 00:31:49,250 --> 00:31:51,650 Yep. Broke up the day after they got married. 540 00:31:52,010 --> 00:31:56,090 But what about all that food and that noise they've been making? 541 00:31:56,810 --> 00:31:59,190 Apparently, she's a better actress than we thought. 542 00:32:01,450 --> 00:32:02,490 But that's crazy. 543 00:32:02,770 --> 00:32:03,770 Exactly. 544 00:32:04,370 --> 00:32:05,370 Certifiably crazy. 545 00:32:05,570 --> 00:32:09,630 But there is a silver lining. I checked out the website for the Glynn Pauls 546 00:32:09,630 --> 00:32:10,630 Behavioral Institute. 547 00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:14,640 And they do have a bed opening up. 548 00:32:15,620 --> 00:32:19,400 Charlie. At least look at the brochure. If you ignore the straps on the beds, it 549 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:20,400 just looks like a nice hotel. 550 00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:23,740 I can't believe she's just been lying to me. 551 00:32:23,940 --> 00:32:27,040 Do you know how bad I felt for not supporting that ridiculous marriage? 552 00:32:28,060 --> 00:32:30,080 I almost put a pair of boobs on layaway. 553 00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:34,620 Well, it's a good thing you didn't, because he dumped her. 554 00:32:36,680 --> 00:32:38,900 What? You said they broke up. 555 00:32:39,690 --> 00:32:42,650 You never said he dumped her. Dump broke, what's the difference? She's 556 00:32:42,650 --> 00:32:49,430 here. Which brings us back to the Glen Falls Behavioral Institute. 557 00:32:50,210 --> 00:32:52,670 A warm, professional community. 558 00:32:53,610 --> 00:32:57,710 Charlie, there is a huge difference between breaking up and getting dumped. 559 00:32:57,950 --> 00:33:00,910 He walked out on her and she's been dealing with it all by herself. 560 00:33:02,210 --> 00:33:03,270 Poor Faith. 561 00:33:03,930 --> 00:33:08,130 Wait a minute. No. What happened to all that anger? Remember the boobs I lay 562 00:33:08,130 --> 00:33:09,530 away? You were duped. 563 00:33:10,110 --> 00:33:11,110 Duped. 564 00:33:11,810 --> 00:33:13,930 Charlie, she's my sister. 565 00:33:14,210 --> 00:33:15,210 Duped. 566 00:33:15,610 --> 00:33:16,950 Her heart is broken. 567 00:33:17,190 --> 00:33:18,190 Duped. 568 00:33:18,950 --> 00:33:20,470 I'm going to go talk to her. 569 00:33:21,030 --> 00:33:24,170 I can't believe she's been putting herself through this because of her 570 00:33:32,910 --> 00:33:35,510 Can we at least consider some restraints on our bed here? 571 00:33:39,230 --> 00:33:45,430 How much longer? My arms are killing me. 572 00:33:45,950 --> 00:33:49,010 Keep going. And faster. The tempo is too Jurassic Park. 573 00:33:52,250 --> 00:33:55,370 Right, but you know, you're eventually going to have to tell my parents the 574 00:33:55,370 --> 00:33:58,770 truth. I'll tell them when I come up with the right story. I don't want to 575 00:33:58,770 --> 00:33:59,770 ridiculous. 576 00:34:01,710 --> 00:34:02,870 Gooch, you're really awesome. 577 00:34:03,870 --> 00:34:05,310 All right, that's it. You're done. 578 00:34:08,110 --> 00:34:09,110 Faith, it's me. 579 00:34:09,790 --> 00:34:10,790 Oh, rude. 580 00:34:10,989 --> 00:34:13,730 She's got a lot of nerve showing up when I'm trying to be intimate with my 581 00:34:13,730 --> 00:34:14,969 husband. Quick. 582 00:34:16,030 --> 00:34:17,730 Pretend you're the Gooch. Under the covers. 583 00:34:19,710 --> 00:34:20,710 Faith. 584 00:34:22,590 --> 00:34:23,590 Oh, hey, Hope. 585 00:34:23,989 --> 00:34:28,110 Listen, now's not a really great time. I mean, for you. For me, it is a really 586 00:34:28,110 --> 00:34:28,948 great time. 587 00:34:28,949 --> 00:34:29,949 I need to talk to you. 588 00:34:30,350 --> 00:34:31,350 Okay, but make it fast. 589 00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:36,340 My husband's sleeping. If he reaches over and I'm not there, my pillow's in 590 00:34:36,340 --> 00:34:37,340 trouble. 591 00:34:42,199 --> 00:34:44,120 Isn't there something you need to tell me? 592 00:34:44,580 --> 00:34:45,580 Yes. 593 00:34:45,900 --> 00:34:47,580 But I could tell you better with tweezers. 594 00:34:50,239 --> 00:34:53,780 Now, if you'll excuse me, my husband and I need to bathe each other. May I 595 00:34:53,780 --> 00:34:54,780 borrow a loofah? 596 00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:57,840 Okay. Enough with the... Ow! 597 00:34:59,620 --> 00:35:00,620 I mean... 598 00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:07,120 Oh, my God, this is not my room. 599 00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:09,440 Was I sleepwalking again? 600 00:35:09,720 --> 00:35:11,140 Okay, get out. Get out. 601 00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:12,600 I'll talk to you later. 602 00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:13,880 Dios mio. 603 00:35:14,060 --> 00:35:15,540 I knew I should have used Haley. 604 00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:21,340 Faith, why didn't you tell me the gooch left? 605 00:35:22,300 --> 00:35:26,480 Because you said I couldn't handle marriage, and I wanted to prove to you 606 00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:29,000 could. So go ahead and gloat. You were right. 607 00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:30,500 I don't want to be right. 608 00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:32,920 I want you to be happy. Well, I'm not. 609 00:35:34,060 --> 00:35:36,320 I know you look at me and you think I have it all. 610 00:35:39,820 --> 00:35:42,680 But there's this really weird part of me that just wants what you have. 611 00:35:43,540 --> 00:35:44,540 Really? 612 00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:46,040 Yeah. 613 00:35:46,500 --> 00:35:47,980 You have a great relationship. 614 00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:50,720 Someone who loves you unconditionally. 615 00:35:52,380 --> 00:35:54,300 I guess I just wanted a Charlie. 616 00:35:55,380 --> 00:35:58,360 You want a Charlie? 617 00:35:58,580 --> 00:36:00,780 Well, not Charlie. I mean, I'm not going to fly coach. 618 00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:07,120 For a second there, you nudged up against nice. 619 00:36:07,840 --> 00:36:09,800 Yeah, I know that happens when I get tired. 620 00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:17,340 I really thought that Gooch and me could make it work, but... Turns out he only 621 00:36:17,340 --> 00:36:18,840 proposed to me because Larry did. 622 00:36:19,740 --> 00:36:20,940 Are you kidding, really? 623 00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:22,440 Yeah. 624 00:36:22,580 --> 00:36:24,240 It was just some dumb competition. 625 00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:27,840 And not the classy kind, like with bikinis and a musical number. 626 00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:34,020 Point is, I'm just not cut out for marriage, like you said. 627 00:36:34,670 --> 00:36:35,830 Of course you are. 628 00:36:36,570 --> 00:36:38,650 You're going to make someone a wonderful wife someday. 629 00:36:39,250 --> 00:36:40,750 Just not now. 630 00:36:41,030 --> 00:36:42,330 I'm running out of time. 631 00:36:43,170 --> 00:36:49,570 I mean, sure, I can still pass for a hard -living 18 -year -old. But that's 632 00:36:49,570 --> 00:36:50,570 going to last forever. 633 00:36:50,850 --> 00:36:54,430 Faith, I promise you'll find your Charlie. 634 00:36:54,670 --> 00:36:56,910 All right, say his name one more time. I'm going gay. 635 00:36:59,430 --> 00:37:01,170 Well, I'm just glad you're sticking around. 636 00:37:01,990 --> 00:37:03,210 I would have missed you. 637 00:37:04,470 --> 00:37:08,050 In the meantime, you have to get your marriage annulled. 638 00:37:09,310 --> 00:37:10,310 Great. 639 00:37:11,010 --> 00:37:12,090 I'm single again. 640 00:37:14,250 --> 00:37:15,870 Now I'm really going to need those boobs. 641 00:37:17,830 --> 00:37:20,030 Okay. Standard marriage annulment. 642 00:37:20,310 --> 00:37:21,450 This shouldn't take long. 643 00:37:22,050 --> 00:37:25,230 Thanks for postponing your flight so we could take care of this gooch. No 644 00:37:25,230 --> 00:37:27,910 problem. Thanks for coughing up the 50 bucks for the ticket change. 645 00:37:30,490 --> 00:37:33,170 Hey, do you think they'll upgrade me if I tell them a relative died? 646 00:37:35,340 --> 00:37:38,420 So, on what grounds are we basing this annulment? 647 00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:42,620 Grounds? Oh, we don't have any property. 648 00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:48,200 Faith, wake up. 649 00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:50,100 He's not talking about property. 650 00:37:51,260 --> 00:37:53,800 We'd like to do it right here, on your grounds. 651 00:37:58,580 --> 00:37:59,680 It's not an act. 652 00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:01,400 This is really them. 653 00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:08,240 wants to know why you shouldn't be together. I need a compelling reason or 654 00:38:08,240 --> 00:38:09,360 can't dissolve your marriage. 655 00:38:10,220 --> 00:38:11,560 Put down abandonment. 656 00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:16,440 He left me alone night after night after night after night after night. Yeah, 657 00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:18,560 five nights. I had to pretend to have sex with him. 658 00:38:19,980 --> 00:38:22,800 No one asked you to. No one asked me not to. 659 00:38:24,060 --> 00:38:27,500 If someone asked you not to jump off the Empire State Building, does that mean 660 00:38:27,500 --> 00:38:28,500 you won't do it? I might. 661 00:38:28,720 --> 00:38:30,340 Fine, don't jump. He threatened... 662 00:38:36,590 --> 00:38:39,250 I think we'll just go with diminished mental capacity. 663 00:38:40,450 --> 00:38:47,310 All right, so if you two witnesses will please initial here, I just have to ask, 664 00:38:47,550 --> 00:38:51,770 what possessed the two of you to get married in the first place? And you two, 665 00:38:51,830 --> 00:38:53,490 you seem like reasonable people. 666 00:38:54,170 --> 00:38:55,390 Why would you let them? 667 00:38:55,910 --> 00:39:01,170 Well, it's kind of a long story, but basically, it's her fault. 668 00:39:02,510 --> 00:39:04,450 Oh, look, you weren't trying to ship her off to Japan. 669 00:39:04,710 --> 00:39:07,810 Me? None of this would have started if you hadn't let her in the house. 670 00:39:08,070 --> 00:39:10,790 Oh, Charlie, it'll just be a couple months. 671 00:39:11,610 --> 00:39:16,590 What? I only have time for one annulment today, so there, please. 672 00:39:17,430 --> 00:39:19,690 If you two will initial at the actors. 673 00:39:20,330 --> 00:39:22,110 I guess we were pretty naive. 674 00:39:22,490 --> 00:39:26,350 I mean, just because we're incredibly hot doesn't mean we should be married. 675 00:39:26,810 --> 00:39:27,810 Yeah. 676 00:39:28,890 --> 00:39:30,710 You still think I'm incredibly hot? 677 00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:34,920 Faith, I never stopped thinking you're incredibly hot. 678 00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:38,040 I never stopped thinking you're incredibly hot either. 679 00:39:39,740 --> 00:39:40,800 Okay, good. 680 00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:43,160 Everybody thinks everybody's incredibly hot. 681 00:39:44,860 --> 00:39:45,860 Keep stunning. 682 00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:51,520 You know, Gooch, no matter what happens, I'll always want you. 683 00:39:52,100 --> 00:39:53,360 Unless you go bald. 684 00:39:54,920 --> 00:39:55,980 Same goes for me. 685 00:39:56,460 --> 00:39:57,580 Unless you get fat. 686 00:39:58,240 --> 00:39:59,400 Or get pink eye. 687 00:40:03,060 --> 00:40:05,200 Okay. Sign, sign, sign. You know what's funny? 688 00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:10,620 Now that you're no longer my husband, I remember what I saw in you in the first 689 00:40:10,620 --> 00:40:13,800 place. I know. Now that you're not my wife, I've never wanted you more. 690 00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:15,240 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 691 00:40:16,260 --> 00:40:17,440 Kissing is not signing. 692 00:40:17,820 --> 00:40:18,820 Here. 693 00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:20,319 Here you go. 694 00:40:20,320 --> 00:40:21,320 Come here. Here you go. 695 00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:26,000 Charlie, a little help here? 696 00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:28,040 Question. 697 00:40:28,930 --> 00:40:31,550 Committing a person against their will, where's the legal line there? 698 00:40:38,790 --> 00:40:40,810 I'm really nervous about Aunt Faith's breakup. 699 00:40:41,130 --> 00:40:44,230 It's going to be a real tough one. I don't know if I can handle all the weed 700 00:40:44,230 --> 00:40:44,988 yet, Derek. 701 00:40:44,990 --> 00:40:46,990 It's okay, honey. She'll pull through. 702 00:40:47,510 --> 00:40:48,930 I was talking about Dad. 703 00:40:52,410 --> 00:40:53,410 Honey? 704 00:40:53,870 --> 00:40:54,870 Are you all right? 705 00:40:57,290 --> 00:40:58,290 Fine. 706 00:40:59,250 --> 00:41:00,850 I accept she's never leaving. 707 00:41:04,830 --> 00:41:06,190 But we could move. 708 00:41:07,730 --> 00:41:11,970 What about Santa Fe? It's hot, but it's a dry heat, and you know how you love 709 00:41:11,970 --> 00:41:12,970 turquoise. 710 00:41:14,070 --> 00:41:17,350 Honey, you know she'll find us. 711 00:41:20,390 --> 00:41:23,650 Well, we said our goodbyes. Three times. 712 00:41:24,070 --> 00:41:25,070 Four for me. 713 00:41:25,270 --> 00:41:26,270 Really? 714 00:41:28,799 --> 00:41:30,940 Nice. Hey, thanks for everything. 715 00:41:31,240 --> 00:41:32,240 Oh, it was nothing. 716 00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:33,400 Yeah, I know. I'm just trying to be polite. 717 00:41:34,580 --> 00:41:38,940 Hey, babe, next time I'm in town, give me my first drunken booty call, okay? 718 00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:40,160 Oh, that's sweet. 719 00:41:40,840 --> 00:41:44,060 You know, this is the kind of failed marriage I always dreamed of when I was 720 00:41:44,060 --> 00:41:45,460 little girl. Yeah? Yeah. 721 00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:46,859 Bye -bye. 722 00:41:46,860 --> 00:41:48,140 Bye. Bye. 723 00:41:48,740 --> 00:41:49,740 Bye -bye. 724 00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:51,100 Bye. Bye. 725 00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:52,520 Bye. Bye. 726 00:41:56,490 --> 00:41:57,428 I never thought he'd leave. 727 00:41:57,430 --> 00:41:58,650 Look out, Limbaugh! 728 00:41:58,970 --> 00:42:03,350 Faith Barefield, Ceylon, Gutierrez Barefield. Back on the market. 729 00:42:04,810 --> 00:42:06,450 Ah, good for you. 730 00:42:06,670 --> 00:42:11,010 And since you're back on the market, I think I found a great singles resort for 731 00:42:11,010 --> 00:42:12,010 you. 732 00:42:13,670 --> 00:42:15,310 Hey, I've been here before. 733 00:42:15,810 --> 00:42:17,490 This place is a psycho ward. 734 00:42:20,110 --> 00:42:21,990 See if you can get me the lakeside suite. 735 00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:26,800 Okay.