1
00:00:03,829 --> 00:00:05,918
[♪♪♪]
2
00:00:09,705 --> 00:00:11,315
[SNORING]
3
00:00:11,489 --> 00:00:13,796
[WHISPERING]
4
00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:16,016
Chris.
5
00:00:16,190 --> 00:00:18,844
CHRIS ROCK: Because I had to catch the bus
6
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:21,456
to go all the way across town
to get to school,
7
00:00:21,630 --> 00:00:23,762
I got 10 hours
less sleep a week
8
00:00:23,936 --> 00:00:26,722
than anyone else in my class.
9
00:00:26,896 --> 00:00:28,202
[BELL RINGS]
10
00:00:28,376 --> 00:00:29,986
One time,
I fell asleep so long,
11
00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:31,683
I woke up with a mustache.
12
00:00:33,946 --> 00:00:36,340
Did I miss anything?Not this time.
13
00:00:36,514 --> 00:00:39,822
You gotta watch it. You were
this close to getting caught.
14
00:00:41,998 --> 00:00:44,305
Well, at least it's Friday.
15
00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:46,263
I'll get a chance
to sleep in tomorrow.
16
00:00:46,437 --> 00:00:48,483
Man, there was nothing
like being in bed
17
00:00:48,657 --> 00:00:51,834
on a Saturday morning,
dreaming my favorite dream:
18
00:00:52,008 --> 00:00:54,532
me sleeping in
on a Saturday morning.
19
00:00:56,186 --> 00:00:57,666
You gonna watch Rockytomorrow?
20
00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:00,234
My favorite movie
of all time wasRocky.
21
00:01:00,408 --> 00:01:02,932
A black man
kicking a white guy's ass.
22
00:01:03,106 --> 00:01:05,848
My father thought the movie
should've been calledApollo.
23
00:01:06,022 --> 00:01:07,458
Oh, I can't.
24
00:01:07,632 --> 00:01:10,722
My TV's out.No TV all weekend?
25
00:01:12,246 --> 00:01:13,812
Are you gonna be okay?
26
00:01:13,986 --> 00:01:15,510
Yeah.
27
00:01:15,684 --> 00:01:19,340
So, what are you gonna do?I'm going to sleep.
28
00:01:19,514 --> 00:01:21,559
I was so sleepy,
instead of counting sheep,
29
00:01:21,733 --> 00:01:23,735
I was counting sleep.
30
00:01:23,909 --> 00:01:26,173
[♪♪♪]
31
00:01:32,004 --> 00:01:34,529
♪ Aw, make it funky now ♪
32
00:01:58,379 --> 00:02:01,556
The only person who loved sleep more than me was my father.
33
00:02:01,730 --> 00:02:04,211
And right now, he's dreaming
his favorite dream.
34
00:02:04,385 --> 00:02:05,995
I've been working here
a long time.
35
00:02:06,169 --> 00:02:07,866
I've never seen anybody
pay bills like you.
36
00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:09,825
You got two jobs or something?Just one.
37
00:02:09,999 --> 00:02:11,522
Can I help you
with something else?
38
00:02:11,696 --> 00:02:13,394
Can I have my
three cents change?
39
00:02:13,568 --> 00:02:14,786
ROCHELLE:
40
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:16,397
Julius.
41
00:02:18,921 --> 00:02:21,228
Julius!Yo, I'm up, I'm up, I'm up.
42
00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:22,838
Where are my keys?No, no, baby!
43
00:02:23,012 --> 00:02:24,535
You don't have to go to work.
44
00:02:24,709 --> 00:02:25,971
Today is Saturday.
45
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,973
You woke me up at 6:45
on a Saturday morning?
46
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,453
Are you crazy?No, look, wait.
47
00:02:29,627 --> 00:02:31,063
I was looking through the paper
48
00:02:31,238 --> 00:02:33,196
and they're having
TVs on sale in Queens.
49
00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:36,199
Look, 199 for a color 19-inch?!
50
00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:38,288
Nineteen-inch TV? Hey!
51
00:02:38,462 --> 00:02:40,203
Now guys have those
in their headrests,
52
00:02:40,377 --> 00:02:42,510
but back then,
it was a big deal.
53
00:02:42,684 --> 00:02:46,122
Rochelle, I can get
this same TV for half that.
54
00:02:46,296 --> 00:02:48,255
All I gotta do is wait
for my man Risky to get one.
55
00:02:48,429 --> 00:02:51,214
That means he has to wait for
his man Risky to steal one.
56
00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:53,477
Oh, no, no, no,
I am tired of Risky.
57
00:02:53,651 --> 00:02:56,741
Everything we get
from him breaks down.
58
00:02:56,915 --> 00:02:59,309
What are you doing?I'm ironing.
59
00:02:59,483 --> 00:03:01,790
I got you an iron from Risky.It broke.
60
00:03:01,964 --> 00:03:04,401
Damn, Risky.
61
00:03:04,575 --> 00:03:06,882
What are you doing?I'm making toast.
62
00:03:07,056 --> 00:03:09,841
I got you a toaster from Risky.It broke!
63
00:03:10,015 --> 00:03:11,321
Damn, Risky.
64
00:03:11,495 --> 00:03:12,757
Are you sure?Like I told you
65
00:03:12,931 --> 00:03:14,585
for the hundredth time,
I'm pregnant.
66
00:03:14,759 --> 00:03:16,500
I thought you used a condom.I did.
67
00:03:16,674 --> 00:03:17,675
Damn Risky.
68
00:03:19,764 --> 00:03:22,332
What are you doing now?
69
00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:25,509
I'm reading the small print.Yeah.
70
00:03:25,683 --> 00:03:29,383
199 for a 19-inch TV.Uh-huh.
71
00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:32,690
Must be a catch.
72
00:03:32,864 --> 00:03:34,866
No! The catch is
if they run out,
73
00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:39,306
we won't be getting one.
Now, get up!
74
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,395
ROCHELLE:
Chris!
75
00:03:41,569 --> 00:03:43,745
Chris!Huh?! What?
76
00:03:43,919 --> 00:03:46,095
Get up. I need you to go
to the laundromat.
77
00:03:46,269 --> 00:03:48,576
I don't want to go.
I'm tired.
78
00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:51,840
Me and your father are going
to buy a new TV today.
79
00:03:52,014 --> 00:03:55,060
So I need you to do this!
80
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,932
Come on, if you do this,
81
00:03:57,106 --> 00:03:58,760
I'll let you
watch Rockytonight.
82
00:03:58,934 --> 00:04:01,545
So, please, do not mix
the colors and the whites.
83
00:04:01,719 --> 00:04:04,331
And those dryers get real hot,
so set it to medium
84
00:04:04,505 --> 00:04:06,333
so you won't
shrink anything, okay?
85
00:04:06,507 --> 00:04:08,378
I didn't hear a word after,
"Get up."
86
00:04:08,552 --> 00:04:11,903
I can't take all that by myself.Drew and Tonya are going.
87
00:04:12,077 --> 00:04:14,732
Do I have to take Tonya?You need help, don't you?!
88
00:04:14,906 --> 00:04:16,604
Now, hurry up!
89
00:04:16,778 --> 00:04:19,302
It's Saturday morning.
All the machines will be taken.
90
00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:21,348
I know you don't want to be
there all day.
91
00:04:21,522 --> 00:04:23,480
Just everybody get up.
92
00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:25,090
There are three places
93
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,049
a kid doesn't wanna be
on the weekend:
94
00:04:27,223 --> 00:04:32,402
at a funeral...[SOBBING] Why? Oh, why?
95
00:04:32,576 --> 00:04:36,276
...at a woman's
department store...
96
00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:40,105
and at a laundromat
on a Saturday morning.
97
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,978
A laundromat is a place
where really poor people go
98
00:04:43,152 --> 00:04:44,719
to wash their clothes.
99
00:04:44,893 --> 00:04:46,590
You don't want that one,
that's broke.
100
00:04:46,764 --> 00:04:49,463
Use the other, use that one.
101
00:04:49,637 --> 00:04:50,942
I was gonna use this one.
102
00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:52,988
You better get out of
my face, little boy.
103
00:04:53,162 --> 00:04:55,033
At the laundromat,
even a nice woman
104
00:04:55,207 --> 00:04:58,385
would smack her mother twice
for an empty machine.
105
00:04:58,559 --> 00:05:01,039
Okay, y'all go check
those machines
106
00:05:01,213 --> 00:05:03,259
and see what cycles they're on.
107
00:05:03,433 --> 00:05:05,305
I don't wanna check it,
you check it.
108
00:05:05,479 --> 00:05:06,828
Well, then go sit down.
109
00:05:07,002 --> 00:05:09,178
I don't wanna sit down.Well, then stand up.
110
00:05:09,352 --> 00:05:10,701
It took me years to realize
111
00:05:10,875 --> 00:05:12,442
if you want a girl
to do something,
112
00:05:12,616 --> 00:05:14,444
you gotta tell her
to do the opposite.
113
00:05:14,618 --> 00:05:17,317
Here's your chicken.You better not bring me dessert.
114
00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:19,101
I'll get you
what I wanna get you!
115
00:05:19,275 --> 00:05:21,669
Only one place that didn't
work: the bedroom.
116
00:05:21,843 --> 00:05:24,672
Okay, this one's on spin.
117
00:05:24,846 --> 00:05:26,413
And this one's on wash.
118
00:05:26,587 --> 00:05:28,371
Good, now, I need you
to watch them.
119
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,548
Can I get the quarters?
120
00:05:31,722 --> 00:05:33,158
No. I don't want you
to lose them.
121
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,769
Ain't nobody
gonna lose nothing.
122
00:05:34,943 --> 00:05:37,467
It's just right there.
123
00:05:37,641 --> 00:05:40,122
She looked at me
like I stole her cocoa.
124
00:05:40,296 --> 00:05:41,558
Fine.
125
00:05:41,732 --> 00:05:43,995
I would've let her
smack me silly
126
00:05:44,169 --> 00:05:46,476
if it would have made her
act right.
127
00:05:50,741 --> 00:05:53,962
Rocky, here I come.
128
00:05:54,136 --> 00:05:55,833
You into martial arts?
129
00:05:57,269 --> 00:05:59,576
Yeah. Why?
130
00:05:59,750 --> 00:06:03,145
Want to learn some kill moves?Yeah.
131
00:06:03,319 --> 00:06:05,234
The only thing Drew loved
more than candy
132
00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:07,323
was learning
how to break a neck.
133
00:06:07,497 --> 00:06:09,673
Right there under the guy's
nose, you just take it...
134
00:06:09,847 --> 00:06:11,371
Boom!
135
00:06:14,243 --> 00:06:16,376
[MUTTERING SOFTLY]
136
00:06:16,550 --> 00:06:18,203
[QUARTERS TINKLING ON FLOOR]
137
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,162
Tonya, what'd I tell you?!
138
00:06:21,990 --> 00:06:23,687
Well, you could at least help.
139
00:06:23,861 --> 00:06:27,387
I would if you'd stop hollering.You're the one who dropped them!
140
00:06:34,655 --> 00:06:36,004
[SIGHS]
141
00:06:40,225 --> 00:06:42,010
Wake me up
when that machine stops.
142
00:06:42,184 --> 00:06:43,707
I ain't waking you up.
143
00:06:43,881 --> 00:06:45,579
Tonya, I'm not playing with you.
144
00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:47,929
Now, wake me up
when that machine stops!
145
00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:50,758
Tonya's so difficult,
the only reason she's a girl
146
00:06:50,932 --> 00:06:54,152
is 'cause my father
wanted a boy.
147
00:06:54,326 --> 00:06:56,067
Oh, that's nice. Oh!
148
00:06:56,241 --> 00:06:57,591
Okay, let me tell you the rules.
149
00:06:57,765 --> 00:06:59,157
Okay.We're gonna get a TV.
150
00:06:59,331 --> 00:07:00,507
Mm-hm.
Not a VCR.
151
00:07:00,681 --> 00:07:02,160
I hear you. I got you.Not a couch.
152
00:07:02,334 --> 00:07:03,858
A TV.
No problem.
153
00:07:04,032 --> 00:07:06,164
And if it doesn't cost 199,
we're going home.
154
00:07:06,338 --> 00:07:07,383
Yeah, right.
155
00:07:07,557 --> 00:07:09,341
Well, can I at least
look around?
156
00:07:09,516 --> 00:07:11,343
Last time you went
"looking around,"
157
00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:13,476
I ended up buying a house.Can I help you?
158
00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:17,001
Yeah, we're here for the 199
19-inch color TV.
159
00:07:17,175 --> 00:07:19,003
I'm sorry, we sold out of those.
160
00:07:19,177 --> 00:07:22,267
Sale's been going since Monday.Thank you. Okay, let's go.
161
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,356
I'm sure we can find
something else you might like.
162
00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:26,271
See?You probably can,
163
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:29,405
but if it's not a TV for 199,
you don't need to show it to me.
164
00:07:29,579 --> 00:07:30,885
No, no, no, wait, baby.
165
00:07:31,059 --> 00:07:32,756
Now, let's just...
166
00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:35,672
look around for a little while.You got "looking around" money?
167
00:07:35,846 --> 00:07:38,632
Sir, I don't mean to intrude,
but you a union man?
168
00:07:38,806 --> 00:07:42,026
Um, yeah,
I'm in the local. Why?
169
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,551
Says right here,
show me a union card,
170
00:07:44,725 --> 00:07:46,640
you get credit on the spot.Say what?!
171
00:07:46,814 --> 00:07:48,685
Let's just say my mother
didn't have
172
00:07:48,859 --> 00:07:51,166
the best history with credit.
173
00:07:52,776 --> 00:07:54,561
Put it on the card. She bought shoes,
174
00:07:54,735 --> 00:07:56,954
she bought clothes, she'd
buy money, if they let her.
175
00:07:57,128 --> 00:07:58,956
Put it on the card.
176
00:07:59,130 --> 00:08:01,655
There was nothing my mother wouldn't put on a credit card.
177
00:08:01,829 --> 00:08:03,874
Put this on my card.Lady, you can't pay
178
00:08:04,048 --> 00:08:06,529
your credit card bill
with your credit card.
179
00:08:06,703 --> 00:08:08,313
What about this one?
180
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:11,142
We came here to get a $199 TV,
not a credit card.
181
00:08:11,316 --> 00:08:12,579
But you could use one, right?
182
00:08:12,753 --> 00:08:14,015
We'll give you a $500 limit,
183
00:08:14,189 --> 00:08:15,451
no payments for six months.
184
00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:17,235
We'll get you out of here
with a TV.
185
00:08:17,409 --> 00:08:18,715
Come on.Wait, wait, baby.
186
00:08:18,889 --> 00:08:21,196
Let's think about this
for a moment.
187
00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:22,850
If the kids
keep watching that TV,
188
00:08:23,024 --> 00:08:24,286
they'll mess up their eyes,
189
00:08:24,460 --> 00:08:26,244
and if they can't see,
they might wander
190
00:08:26,418 --> 00:08:28,072
into the street
and get hit by a bus.
191
00:08:28,246 --> 00:08:31,162
Now, do you want three
crippled kids or a new TV?
192
00:08:31,336 --> 00:08:32,686
Lady's got a point.See?
193
00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:36,907
Would you please?This is...nice!
194
00:08:37,081 --> 00:08:39,344
Instead of watching
the machines like I told him,
195
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:42,130
Drew was perfecting
the Flying Monkey Death Claw.
196
00:08:42,304 --> 00:08:44,959
One more time, one more time,
one more time.
197
00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:47,570
Aah! Man, what are you doing?!
198
00:08:47,744 --> 00:08:49,833
Damn, black Yoda.
199
00:08:50,007 --> 00:08:51,313
Uh-uh...
200
00:08:51,487 --> 00:08:52,880
Uh-uh.
201
00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:54,185
Oh!
202
00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:57,798
How come you didn't wake me up?
203
00:08:57,972 --> 00:09:00,235
You don't tell me what to do.Where'd you get that?
204
00:09:00,409 --> 00:09:03,543
That machine.You spent our quarters?
205
00:09:03,717 --> 00:09:06,458
I was thirsty.Oh, man, we need those!
206
00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:08,809
We won't even have enough
for the dryers!
207
00:09:08,983 --> 00:09:10,506
So?
208
00:09:13,683 --> 00:09:15,990
What happened to our clothes?I don't know.
209
00:09:16,164 --> 00:09:17,731
Drew, who took our clothes?
210
00:09:17,905 --> 00:09:20,124
Wasn't me.
211
00:09:20,298 --> 00:09:22,344
Somebody stole our clothes.
212
00:09:22,518 --> 00:09:24,868
It's not my fault.
213
00:09:25,042 --> 00:09:26,957
Yes, it is.
Instead of going to get a soda,
214
00:09:27,131 --> 00:09:29,046
how come you
weren't watching the clothes?
215
00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:30,482
How come youweren't
watching them?
216
00:09:30,657 --> 00:09:32,876
I was asleep!
I told you to wake me up!
217
00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:35,879
You're always messing stuff up.
I hate you!
218
00:09:37,751 --> 00:09:39,448
I don't care.
219
00:09:42,886 --> 00:09:44,671
Where you going?None of your business,
220
00:09:44,845 --> 00:09:47,674
that's where I'm going.
221
00:09:47,848 --> 00:09:51,982
♪ Everybody hates Chris ♪
222
00:09:58,249 --> 00:10:00,817
Hey, little man.
Everything all right?
223
00:10:00,991 --> 00:10:02,471
I lost my clothes.
224
00:10:02,645 --> 00:10:04,778
What you mean,
you lost your clothes?
225
00:10:04,952 --> 00:10:06,344
They were in two baskets.
226
00:10:06,518 --> 00:10:08,520
I was waiting for the machine
and fell asleep.
227
00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:10,522
What they look like?Um, I don't know,
228
00:10:10,697 --> 00:10:11,785
there's lots of stuff.
229
00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:13,482
Pants, underwear, socks.
230
00:10:13,656 --> 00:10:16,137
Uh-huh. Is that them over there?
231
00:10:16,311 --> 00:10:18,182
Yeah! Thanks.Yeah, right, uh-huh.
232
00:10:18,356 --> 00:10:20,141
Go ahead with your bad self.
233
00:10:24,232 --> 00:10:25,668
[MACHINE BUZZES]
234
00:10:25,842 --> 00:10:28,279
At the laundromat,
empty washing machines
235
00:10:28,453 --> 00:10:30,760
come around less
than a Sade tour.
236
00:10:30,934 --> 00:10:33,197
[♪♪♪]
237
00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:41,684
Terrell Owens ain't got
nothin' on her.
238
00:10:41,858 --> 00:10:44,339
I'm using this one.
239
00:10:44,513 --> 00:10:48,082
Oh! Little dude
from across the street.
240
00:10:48,256 --> 00:10:50,432
Why don't you let me
hold a quarter?
241
00:11:02,313 --> 00:11:05,055
Didn't mama say not to mix
the coloreds with the whites?
242
00:11:05,229 --> 00:11:09,625
I only have enough quarters
for one machine and the dryers.
243
00:11:09,799 --> 00:11:11,540
[GRUNTS]
244
00:11:11,714 --> 00:11:15,370
Finish this
and watch the clothes.
245
00:11:15,544 --> 00:11:17,981
I'm gonna go find Tonya.
246
00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:24,814
All you got to do is sign on the
dotted line and we're all set.
247
00:11:24,988 --> 00:11:27,338
I'm reading the small print.It don't mean nothing.
248
00:11:27,512 --> 00:11:31,081
Then why'd they put it on here?It's just technicalities.
249
00:11:31,255 --> 00:11:33,083
Seventeen percent?
250
00:11:33,257 --> 00:11:36,043
That's kind of high, ain't it?It's not unusual.
251
00:11:36,217 --> 00:11:38,698
Brooklyn Bridge ain't unusual,
but it's still high.
252
00:11:38,872 --> 00:11:40,395
You should've seen him
at tax time.
253
00:11:40,569 --> 00:11:42,614
Done yet, baby?
I want to show you something.
254
00:11:42,789 --> 00:11:44,355
I'm reading the contract.
255
00:11:44,529 --> 00:11:46,749
Oh, just hurry up and sign
that thing and come on.
256
00:11:46,923 --> 00:11:48,490
I want to show you this couch.
257
00:11:48,664 --> 00:11:50,405
The only thing that made
my mother happier
258
00:11:50,579 --> 00:11:54,104
than having a man with two jobs was getting a new couch.
259
00:11:56,454 --> 00:11:59,936
Girl, did I tell you
I was getting married?
260
00:12:00,110 --> 00:12:03,026
Ooh, that is nice.
261
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:04,854
But did I show you
my new couch?
262
00:12:05,028 --> 00:12:06,638
No amount of good news
could compare
263
00:12:06,813 --> 00:12:08,423
to my mother
getting a new couch.
264
00:12:08,597 --> 00:12:10,207
It's all leather.
265
00:12:10,381 --> 00:12:12,644
[CHUCKLES]
266
00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:15,735
Hey, listen, you sign it now,
I'm gonna give you a $700 limit.
267
00:12:15,909 --> 00:12:17,649
Seven--
268
00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:19,869
Seven hundred dollars?
269
00:12:20,043 --> 00:12:24,134
Julius, do you know
what I could do with $700?!
270
00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:26,180
Unfortunately, he does. Thank you!
271
00:12:26,354 --> 00:12:28,356
Rochelle, do you know how long
272
00:12:28,530 --> 00:12:30,837
it's gonna take me
to pay off $700?
273
00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:32,577
Hm?
274
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,710
Oh, but Julius...
275
00:12:34,884 --> 00:12:37,582
If the most important thing to
my mother was buying a couch,
276
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:40,542
the most important thing to my father was paying it off.
277
00:12:40,716 --> 00:12:43,197
Oh, Julius, where have you been?
278
00:12:43,371 --> 00:12:44,981
I just dropped Tonya off
at college.
279
00:12:45,155 --> 00:12:47,027
They hired Chris to replace me
on my first job,
280
00:12:47,201 --> 00:12:49,072
and Drew to replace me
on my second job.
281
00:12:49,246 --> 00:12:51,553
I paid off the house, car,
light bill and the gas.
282
00:12:51,727 --> 00:12:53,511
We don't owe anybody
a single dime.
283
00:12:53,685 --> 00:12:55,949
I'm gonna take a nap
and get the hell out of here
284
00:12:56,123 --> 00:12:58,081
before you spend
some more money.
285
00:12:58,255 --> 00:12:59,822
This is a good deal.
286
00:12:59,996 --> 00:13:03,304
See, baby, we could get
a lot of stuff we need.
287
00:13:03,478 --> 00:13:05,828
I mean, it's on credit.
What are you worried about?
288
00:13:06,002 --> 00:13:08,178
It's on credit.
That's what I'm worried about.
289
00:13:11,138 --> 00:13:14,750
I'm gonna go look
at the couch again.
290
00:13:14,924 --> 00:13:16,796
I didn't know where Tonya was,
291
00:13:16,970 --> 00:13:18,623
but I was praying
she went home.
292
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:19,929
[BUZZING]
293
00:13:20,103 --> 00:13:21,452
Come on.
294
00:13:22,976 --> 00:13:24,847
What?
295
00:13:26,718 --> 00:13:28,938
Open the door.I ain't opening nothing.
296
00:13:29,112 --> 00:13:31,506
I'm telling Mama and Daddy
that you said you hate me
297
00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:33,508
and you left me
in the house by myself.
298
00:13:33,682 --> 00:13:35,989
My mother didn't care
what I said to Tonya
299
00:13:36,163 --> 00:13:39,340
just as long as I didn't leave her someplace by herself.
300
00:13:39,514 --> 00:13:42,256
Didn't I tell you not to leave
your sister here by herself?!
301
00:13:42,430 --> 00:13:44,824
I didn't know she was
gonna sell the house.
302
00:13:46,782 --> 00:13:48,784
[SIGHS]
303
00:13:48,958 --> 00:13:51,091
Open the door!No!
304
00:13:51,265 --> 00:13:53,267
Why can't you do
what I tell you sometimes?
305
00:13:53,441 --> 00:13:55,835
You said you hate me.
I ain't doing nothing.
306
00:13:56,009 --> 00:13:57,445
That's why I hate you!
307
00:13:57,619 --> 00:13:59,186
Every time I try
to do something,
308
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:00,317
you always mess it up.
309
00:14:00,491 --> 00:14:02,102
I'm always stuck with you!
310
00:14:02,276 --> 00:14:03,712
I don't feel like your brother,
311
00:14:03,886 --> 00:14:06,758
I feel like
a 13-year-old father.
312
00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:10,110
Dag, man. You're
a 13-year-old father too?
313
00:14:10,284 --> 00:14:11,720
I know he doesn't look 13,
314
00:14:11,894 --> 00:14:13,287
but having kids
will do that to you.
315
00:14:13,461 --> 00:14:15,898
She's not my daughter.
316
00:14:16,072 --> 00:14:17,639
She's my sister.
317
00:14:24,689 --> 00:14:26,604
I can work you out
a great deal on the TV,
318
00:14:26,778 --> 00:14:28,084
the sofa, dining room set.
319
00:14:28,258 --> 00:14:30,086
Get it today,
I'll save you some money.
320
00:14:30,260 --> 00:14:32,567
If I don't get it at all,
I'll save more. Let's go.
321
00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:34,569
Now, wait a minute, Julius.
322
00:14:34,743 --> 00:14:39,269
You work, I work--
Well, sometimes.
323
00:14:39,443 --> 00:14:42,359
I'm just saying,
you don't have to be so ch...
324
00:14:44,796 --> 00:14:46,711
You think I want to be cheap?
325
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,670
I'd love to buy
everything in the store,
326
00:14:48,844 --> 00:14:51,107
but I don't have it
like that, Rochelle.
327
00:14:51,281 --> 00:14:52,848
I don't.
328
00:14:53,022 --> 00:14:54,937
My father wasn't bald
when he got married,
329
00:14:55,111 --> 00:14:57,940
but one hair fell out
for every bill he got.
330
00:14:58,114 --> 00:15:02,292
You know what, forget it, baby.
331
00:15:03,685 --> 00:15:05,556
Huh?
332
00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:08,733
If I buy this stuff, that means
you'll have to work even harder,
333
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,692
which means
you'll be home even less.
334
00:15:10,866 --> 00:15:12,563
And when you do get home,
I'll be mad,
335
00:15:12,737 --> 00:15:14,957
you'll get tired of it,
we'll end up in a divorce,
336
00:15:15,131 --> 00:15:17,655
and I'll end up with some
old-ass furniture and no man.
337
00:15:17,829 --> 00:15:20,136
And if you thinkyou leaving me
for a white woman,
338
00:15:20,310 --> 00:15:22,051
you got another thing coming.
339
00:15:23,966 --> 00:15:26,273
I know you think
she's doing this out of love,
340
00:15:26,447 --> 00:15:28,666
but watch this.
341
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,712
What?
342
00:15:30,886 --> 00:15:32,496
Hold on a minute.
343
00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:40,591
How much for this one?
344
00:15:48,860 --> 00:15:50,253
Can we get that one?
345
00:15:50,427 --> 00:15:52,603
It's just more state-of-the-art.
346
00:15:52,777 --> 00:15:54,823
It has the buttons
and knobs that...
347
00:15:54,997 --> 00:15:57,608
I love you. We're getting
that one right there.
348
00:15:57,782 --> 00:15:59,654
Okay.On sale.
349
00:16:02,091 --> 00:16:03,963
Were you able to get
the clothes done?
350
00:16:04,137 --> 00:16:07,488
We have a little problem.Oh!
351
00:16:07,662 --> 00:16:10,708
I told you not to put the
coloreds in with the whites.
352
00:16:10,882 --> 00:16:12,362
Mama's gonna kill me.
353
00:16:14,103 --> 00:16:16,018
Hold on, I think
I can fix this.
354
00:16:18,455 --> 00:16:21,937
Excuse me, miss.Yes?
355
00:16:22,111 --> 00:16:23,895
My brother put coloreds
in with the whites.
356
00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:26,202
Now everything's pink.
Could you help us
357
00:16:26,376 --> 00:16:28,248
get the clothes white again
or my mother's gonna kill him?
358
00:16:28,422 --> 00:16:31,077
Aw, I'll be happy to.Thank you.
359
00:16:33,949 --> 00:16:37,648
How'd you do that?I don't know.
360
00:16:37,822 --> 00:16:40,042
When Drew turned 18,
that woman looked him up.
361
00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:43,959
Not to be her boyfriend, she
just loved doing his laundry.
362
00:16:51,097 --> 00:16:52,707
Wow!
363
00:16:52,881 --> 00:16:55,449
See, whiter than they were
when you brought them in.
364
00:16:55,623 --> 00:16:56,841
Hey, thanks.
365
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,582
You want me to teach you
a kill move?
366
00:16:58,756 --> 00:17:00,628
No, that's okay.
367
00:17:00,802 --> 00:17:04,066
When you turn 18,
you call me, okay?
368
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:05,415
Okay.
369
00:17:05,589 --> 00:17:07,765
Let's go get these
in the dryers.
370
00:17:14,729 --> 00:17:17,384
Even though my mother was
gonna kill me about Tonya,
371
00:17:17,558 --> 00:17:20,169
at least she had clean clothes to bury me in.
372
00:17:22,693 --> 00:17:24,913
Hey, boys.I have something to tell you!
373
00:17:25,087 --> 00:17:27,437
Wait, wait, your dad's got
something to show you. Come on.
374
00:17:27,611 --> 00:17:29,526
A new TV!Yeah!
375
00:17:29,700 --> 00:17:31,354
Yeah!TONYA: Oh!
376
00:17:31,528 --> 00:17:32,964
There's something about knowing
377
00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:34,792
you have an ass whipping
coming up
378
00:17:34,966 --> 00:17:37,143
that overshadows
a brand-new TV.
379
00:17:37,317 --> 00:17:39,841
Heh, so, what'd you
want to tell me, Tonya?
380
00:17:44,411 --> 00:17:46,978
I, uh... I had fun
at the laundromat.
381
00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:48,937
JULIUS: That's nice.ROCHELLE: Good.
382
00:17:49,111 --> 00:17:51,418
What about you, Chris?
What did you have to say?
383
00:17:51,592 --> 00:17:52,723
CHRIS:
Uh...
384
00:17:54,247 --> 00:17:57,380
Can I still watch Rocky?Sure.
385
00:17:57,554 --> 00:17:59,078
How'd you get the money
for a TV like this?
386
00:17:59,252 --> 00:18:01,819
Oh, your daddy got it on credit.
387
00:18:01,993 --> 00:18:04,083
KIDS: Credit?!Yeah.
388
00:18:04,257 --> 00:18:05,606
Since you
got this on credit,
389
00:18:05,780 --> 00:18:07,608
think you could get
me some new nunchucks?
390
00:18:07,782 --> 00:18:09,044
You know, a kimono?No, look.
391
00:18:09,218 --> 00:18:10,785
We're not getting
no more on credit
392
00:18:10,959 --> 00:18:12,482
till this is paid off.Can we watch Three's Company?
393
00:18:12,656 --> 00:18:14,441
No!Yes!
394
00:18:14,615 --> 00:18:16,486
I need to watch basketball!Yes, she can.
395
00:18:16,660 --> 00:18:18,097
It's only a half-hour.
396
00:18:18,271 --> 00:18:19,750
Tonya sure was lucky
she didn't tell,
397
00:18:19,924 --> 00:18:21,404
'cause I was two seconds away
398
00:18:21,578 --> 00:18:23,667
from hitting her
with the monkey claw.
399
00:18:27,323 --> 00:18:29,499
I thought you were
gonna tell on me.
400
00:18:29,673 --> 00:18:31,327
I was.
401
00:18:31,501 --> 00:18:33,416
But I decided not to.
402
00:18:35,897 --> 00:18:37,899
Do you hate me, for real?
403
00:18:43,470 --> 00:18:45,472
No, I don't really hate you.
404
00:18:45,646 --> 00:18:48,257
It's just that you get
on my nerves sometimes.
405
00:18:49,998 --> 00:18:51,434
I'm sorry.
406
00:18:54,524 --> 00:18:57,353
So did you get
your clothes clean?
407
00:18:57,527 --> 00:18:59,312
Yeah.
408
00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:00,965
That's good.
409
00:19:02,445 --> 00:19:04,273
Just because
I said "I'm sorry,"
410
00:19:04,447 --> 00:19:06,667
doesn't mean I'm not gonna
get you in trouble again.
411
00:19:06,841 --> 00:19:10,714
And if I say "I hate you,"
you better not get mad.
412
00:19:16,981 --> 00:19:18,331
[SIGHS]
413
00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:23,336
CHRIS:
Ooh, good jab.
414
00:19:23,510 --> 00:19:26,034
Oh!JULIUS: Oh!
415
00:19:27,862 --> 00:19:30,386
Drew.
416
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,258
Before I went to sleep
that night,
417
00:19:32,432 --> 00:19:35,261
I had to watch
my favorite movie,Rocky.
418
00:19:35,435 --> 00:19:38,351
It was the perfect way
to end the day.
419
00:19:43,094 --> 00:19:45,314
Chris!
420
00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:47,055
Almost perfect.
421
00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:50,885
♪ Everybody hates Chris. ♪
422
00:19:53,453 --> 00:19:56,020
[♪♪♪]
423
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,762
♪ Aw, make it funky now ♪