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CHRIS ROCK:
When I was a kid, Thanksgiving
was my favorite holiday.

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00:00:12,613 --> 00:00:14,782
All you had to do was eat...

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00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:18,619
Chris, pass the
macaroni and cheese.

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00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:19,653
...and sleep.

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Everybody in my family
loved Thanksgiving,

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except my mother,

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because to her
it was just more work.

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(snoring)

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00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:30,064
But this year was going
to be different.

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All right, guys,
family conference.

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I just want to
let y'all know

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that if you think all you're
going to do this Thanksgiving

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is sit around and eat and sleep,

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you got another
think coming.

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Uncle Louis
is coming over

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and I'm not doing
all the work by myself.

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What do we have to do?

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I want everybody to make a dish.

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I'll make the rolls.

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I can make the cranberry sauce.

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00:00:48,116 --> 00:00:50,751
Which means she can open up
a can and dump it in a bowl.

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00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:53,087
Chris, I want you to make
the mac and cheese.

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00:00:53,121 --> 00:00:55,256
I don't know how to make
mac and cheese.

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And I don't want to be
the one to mess it up.

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I like living here.

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Next to turkey,
the most important dish

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00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:03,631
at our Thanksgiving dinner
was the macaroni and cheese.

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Making good mac and cheese
wasn't cooking, it was science.

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This year's Nobel prize
nominees are...

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Dr. Wan, for the cure
to cancer...

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Dr. Stravinsky, for the
discovery of the missing link...

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and Chris, for some
good-ass macaroni and cheese.

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And the winner is...

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Chris!

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(cheering)

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That's okay, baby.
You'll do fine.

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All you got to do
is follow the recipe.

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Sounds to me like
a recipe for disaster.

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Captioning sponsored by CBS
PARAMOUNT NETWORK TELEVISION

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* Oh... make it funky now!

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Rochelle...

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Where've you been?

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At the grocery store.

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Oh.

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Foxy Brown sugar...

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Telly Savalas eggs...

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Dr. J stuffing...

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Chuck Berry cranberry sauce?!

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And a Larry Bird turkey.

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That won't even fit
into our oven.

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These are name brands.
What's going on?

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Nothing. Why?

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00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:33,287
Is this because
your brother's coming?

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My Uncle Louis was
a successful chiropractor.

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Since he was younger,

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my father always felt like
he had to outdo him.

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I'll have a beer.

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And you?
I'll have a red wine.

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I'll have a red wine, too.

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A large.

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Man, you wouldn't believe
the stress I'm under at work.

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I just got
15 new patients.

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Man, I got so much
stress at work,

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they had to hire another
guy to help me worry.

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I got her for
$150 below sticker.

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Really?
Yeah.

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Oh, wow.

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I got my whole car
for below $150.

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There's $98.47
worth of groceries.

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That's usually what he says.

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Rochelle, we have
family coming over.

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I can't have them thinking
we can't afford nice things.

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That's usually what she says.

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Baby, why do you feel like
you have to compete with Louis?

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This has nothing to do
with Louis.

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I just want to have
a good dinner.

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Class...

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I've decided to give you
a holiday homework assignment.

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Damn.

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Yes, Chris?
But it's a holiday.

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And a very special one, Chris.

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So for your assignment,

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I want you to talk
to family and friends,

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and then write an essay

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on what you're thankful for
this Thanksgiving.

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I used to be thankful
for no homework.

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(blows whistle)

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Everybody, up, up, up, up, up!

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Get up!
What?
What happened?

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Time to cook.

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Do we have to do it now?

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Yeah, I'm tired.
Me, too.

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Only ten hours
'till turkey time.

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It's one second to what-the-
hell-is-wrong-with-you time.

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What the hell is wrong with you?

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Look, I need
everybody's help.

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If we're gonna do this,
we're gonna do this right.

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Because my father really wanted
to impress his brother,

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my dad was cooking like
a quarterback running plays.

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Okay, Chris, while the macaroni
is boiling on the front burner

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and you're grating the cheese
on the chopping board,

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Tonya, I need you to break right
into the dining room

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and prep the cranberry sauce.

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Now while the sauce is jiggling,

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Tonya and Drew, I need you
to cover setting the table,

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while I scrimmage to prepare
the rest of the meal.

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Now, Drew, I need you
to cut across

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back into the kitchen,
bake the rolls,

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and get them back to the table
in 15 minutes.

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On three.

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One, two, three...

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Grease!

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What?

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Nothing.

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Looks like you got it
all handled.

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I think I'm gonna go upstairs.

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But I need your help.
No...

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because if something goes wrong,

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I don't want you blaming me.

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He's blaming her right now.

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While we got ready
for Thanksgiving,

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Mr. Omar came by
for thanks-taking.

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Hi, Ms. Rochelle.

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Can I could borrow
a cup of flour?

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Oh, sure, no problem.

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(knocking on door)

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Can I borrow
a cup of gravy?

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(knocking on door)

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Can I borrow a cup?

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Mr. Omar, why don't you
just come over

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for Thanksgiving dinner?

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I thought you'd never ask.

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See you later.

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Meanwhile, my Dad
was still cooking like

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a quarterback running plays.

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Hey, Chris, no, no, no.
Long, smooth strokes.

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Don't beat it.

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Did you butter the tops?

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No.
Well, then it's not ready
to go in the oven yet.

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Here, put the
butter on, gently.

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No, no, no, put that
in a glass bowl.

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But last year, we used
the plastic bowl.

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Last year, my brother
wasn't coming.

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What's the difference?

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The difference is,

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last year my brother
wasn't coming.

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Now put that in
a glass bowl. Please?

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Dad, what are you
doing to that turkey?

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That turkey's about to ask
for a happy ending.

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My mother always said
if you massage the turkey,

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then the meat
will be more tender.

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Don't put too much
pepper on that.

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Got it.

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Hey, Dad, can we
take a break?

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Did Martin Luther King, Jr.
take a break?

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Did Moses
take a break?

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Did Gandhi take a break?

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He took a break from eating.

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That looks pretty good, Chris.
Thanks, Dad.

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Remember, two hours.
I got to put the turkey in next.

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My mac and cheese
looked so good

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Gandhi would've
snuck himself a plate.

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While my father
was in the kitchen,

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my mother had
something cooking.

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Yeah, come on
over, Vanessa.

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Uh-huh, Julius
is cooking.

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His mother's
recipes, child.

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No, it's always
room for one more.

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Okay, see you later.

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What are you doing?

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Well, you always invite people
over when I cook,

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so I figured I'll invite
a few people over

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since you're cooking.

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Fine.

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I'm going to take a quick nap.

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Can you wake me up,
so I can put the turkey in

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when Chris takes
the macaroni out?

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All right, baby.

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Thank you, babe.

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Since we got up so early,

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it was the first
Thanksgiving in history

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where people took a nap
before the turkey.

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Of course she didn't
fall asleep on purpose,

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but that didn't matter
to the oven.

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(sniffing)

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Oh, no.

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(sizzling)

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Oh, no!

189
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No!

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(sizzling)

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That's not macaroni and cheese,

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that's blackaroni and cheese.

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That mac and cheese looked
how my father felt.

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That's your mother's recipe?

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How come you didn't wake me up?

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Because you woke me up
at 5:00 in the morning.

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What are you going to do
about this mac and cheese?

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00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:57,511
I sent Chris down to
Doc's to get some more.

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You sent Chris to look
for macaroni and cheese

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on Thanksgiving?

201
00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:03,551
That's like trying to find
candles on Hanukkah.

202
00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:04,618
Well, don't worry about it.

203
00:08:04,652 --> 00:08:07,588
Look, I'll start the turkey
and finish the cobbler.

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00:08:07,621 --> 00:08:09,857
Well, where are you going
to cook the mac and cheese?

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00:08:09,890 --> 00:08:10,891
In the oven.

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00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:12,593
When?
What are you
talking about?

207
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:15,028
The turkey's gonna take
five hours at 300 degrees,

208
00:08:15,062 --> 00:08:16,697
the mac and cheese
is gonna take

209
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:18,766
two hours
at 320 degrees,

210
00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:22,670
then the cobbler's gonna take
45 minutes at 425 degrees.

211
00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:23,904
You've already
lost two hours

212
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,639
with Three Mile Island
here, so I'd say

213
00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:27,908
we'll probably, we'll be
eating dinner around about

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00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:29,309
1:30 tomorrow morning.

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00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,579
That's if nothing else
goes wrong.

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00:08:31,612 --> 00:08:34,181
My mother was bad at math,
except when it came to

217
00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:36,617
multiplying
my father's headaches.

218
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:38,185
(knocking on door)

219
00:08:39,987 --> 00:08:42,890
Happy Thanksgiving!

220
00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:44,592
(chuckling nervously)

221
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:45,593
Hey, big bro.

222
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:47,127
What's up, Louis.
How you doing?

223
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,596
Hi, Vanessa.

224
00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:49,730
How are you,
Mr. Julius?

225
00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:50,998
You know
Mrs. Watkins.

226
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,633
Not like you do.

227
00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:54,001
Big man!

228
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,002
Hey.
All right.

229
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,737
Hey, go on in,
go on in.

230
00:08:58,305 --> 00:08:59,707
Louis.
Hey, man.

231
00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:00,608
How you doing?

232
00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:02,643
So, I didn't want
to show up empty-handed.

233
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:03,811
So voilá.
Thank you.

234
00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:04,912
What is it?

235
00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:06,614
It smells delicious.

236
00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:07,815
Uh-oh, watch her.

237
00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:09,249
Ever since
her husband died,

238
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:11,218
she's been eating like
it's going out of style.

239
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:13,654
(laughing)

240
00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:15,255
They're organic
green beans.

241
00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:17,290
See, I toasted some almonds up

242
00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:18,425
and then I crushed them

243
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:21,662
and drizzled on some olive oil
that I pressed myself.

244
00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:23,363
You sound like you
went to chef school.

245
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,899
No, I'm a chiropractor.
He went to spine school.

246
00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:27,601
You didn't tell me your
brother went to college.

247
00:09:27,635 --> 00:09:29,036
You didn't tell me
you had a brother.

248
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,704
Hey, Uncle Louis!

249
00:09:30,738 --> 00:09:31,772
What's up, sweetie?

250
00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:33,073
Hey, big man.

251
00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:34,775
Hey.
Hey.

252
00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:36,744
Good seeing you.
Hey!

253
00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:37,945
Why they don't
treat me like that?

254
00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:39,279
'Cause you don't have a job.

255
00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:40,648
Hey, where's Chris?

256
00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:41,715
Oh, he went out,
he'll be back.

257
00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:43,016
Oh, okay.
Well, um,

258
00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:44,618
everybody put your coats down

259
00:09:44,652 --> 00:09:46,019
and, you know,
we'll get started.

260
00:09:46,053 --> 00:09:47,755
You're looking
for macaroni

261
00:09:47,788 --> 00:09:49,757
on Thanksgiving Day?

262
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:52,760
Man, that's like looking
for candles on Hanukkah.

263
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:55,729
Well, I did make the mac
and cheese, but I burned it.

264
00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:58,699
You don't have to worry.
I know just what to do.

265
00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:00,901
You don't need
macaroni and cheese

266
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,770
to make macaroni and cheese.

267
00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:03,771
You don't?

268
00:10:03,804 --> 00:10:05,739
No.

269
00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:08,642
You can make macaroni and cheese
out of anything.

270
00:10:08,676 --> 00:10:09,777
All you got to do is...

271
00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:12,646
Whenever anyone says,
"All you have to do is..."

272
00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:15,849
the next thing they say
is always something impossible.

273
00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:17,785
Dismantling a bomb
is easy.

274
00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:19,987
All you have to do
is identify the ground wire,

275
00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:21,421
pull out your cutters...

276
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,323
and snip.

277
00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:28,061
You try it.

278
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:33,000
Base jumping is easy.

279
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:35,836
All you got to do is make sure
you have enough distance

280
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:39,172
from the base before
you pop your chute.

281
00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:41,742
(voice echoing):
You try...

282
00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:43,777
(loud crash)

283
00:10:43,811 --> 00:10:46,747
Juggling chainsaws
is easy.

284
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:50,718
All you have to do is keep one
saw in the air at all times.

285
00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:52,886
(screaming)

286
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:55,723
All you have to do is learn
to live with one hand.

287
00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:57,825
Dang, man, you want me to go
get somebody or something?

288
00:10:57,858 --> 00:11:01,729
Leave it in for 96 minutes
and that's it.

289
00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:03,697
Simple.

290
00:11:03,731 --> 00:11:04,932
Doc, I can't do all this.

291
00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:07,434
Why don't you just come by the
house and make it yourself?

292
00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:08,836
I mean, you can stay
for dinner.

293
00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:10,237
I'm working.

294
00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:12,005
But I really need
your help, Doc.

295
00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:16,777
Maybe I can close early.

296
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:23,450
Back at home, while my father
was doing all the work,

297
00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:25,719
his brother was having
all the fun.

298
00:11:25,753 --> 00:11:26,920
Wherever he went,
my Uncle Louis

299
00:11:26,954 --> 00:11:28,255
was the life of the party.

300
00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:29,790
He danced...
Ooh, ooh, ooh.

301
00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:37,030
Don't get so excited.

302
00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:43,003
...he sang...

303
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,138
* Solid...

304
00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:47,908
* I'm solid as a rock

305
00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:49,910
(imitating bass)

306
00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:54,281
* And nothing's changed it

307
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:58,285
* The thrill is still
hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot. *

308
00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:00,788
He even spun plates.

309
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,762
But what he seemed
to do best,

310
00:12:08,796 --> 00:12:10,197
was irritate my father.

311
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:13,233
* And now we're solid

312
00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:15,936
* We're solid as a...

313
00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:17,170
* Rock

314
00:12:17,204 --> 00:12:18,271
* Solid as a...

315
00:12:18,305 --> 00:12:20,941
Don't you see me trying to fit
this turkey in the oven?

316
00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:23,110
Oh, yeah, just
move the rack.

317
00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:24,211
Move the rack?

318
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,346
* Just move the rack.

319
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,783
I'm sorry, forgive me,
I didn't go to college.

320
00:12:29,817 --> 00:12:31,018
Where's that carving knife?

321
00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:33,086
Hey, hey, Julius man,
I'm just trying to help.

322
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,454
You want to help me?
Yeah.

323
00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:36,556
Get back out there and start
singing and dancing again.

324
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,025
That's how you
can help me.

325
00:12:38,058 --> 00:12:39,559
What is your problem, man?

326
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:40,828
I'm sick of you,
that's my problem.

327
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:42,229
Ever since you
come over here,

328
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:45,165
you been trying
to make me look bad.

329
00:12:45,198 --> 00:12:46,099
I go out of my way
to make a dinner for you,

330
00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:47,234
and you out there doing
Ashford and Simpson.

331
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:48,836
I bought all
these groceries

332
00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:50,170
and even used Mom's recipes.

333
00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:52,172
Whoa, who told you
to use Mom's recipes?

334
00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:53,306
You know Mama can't cook.

335
00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:55,175
I didn't tell you
to do any of this.

336
00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:57,544
All I said was
that I'm coming over.

337
00:12:57,577 --> 00:12:59,212
And you're the one
running around here

338
00:12:59,246 --> 00:13:01,148
looking like
the Galloping Gourmet.

339
00:13:01,181 --> 00:13:03,316
Forget it. I'm done.

340
00:13:03,350 --> 00:13:05,285
You can't stop cook...

341
00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:06,453
You got people here, man.

342
00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:08,588
They like you so much...

343
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:11,892
let's see how they
like your cooking.

344
00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:14,494
Happy Thanksgiving.

345
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:26,173
Hi, Uncle Louis.
Hey, Mr. Chris.

346
00:13:26,206 --> 00:13:27,240
How you doing, man?

347
00:13:27,274 --> 00:13:28,408
Good.

348
00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:30,310
Well, who died?

349
00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:31,879
My husband.

350
00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:34,481
Oh, my condolences.

351
00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:36,416
No, not just now.

352
00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:38,518
It happened a couple
of weeks ago.

353
00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:41,154
Yeah, he got mauled by
a bear at the circus.

354
00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:43,891
Tragic.

355
00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:44,992
So you're a widow?

356
00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:46,326
Yes.
All right, now.

357
00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:48,495
It's her third time.
You gonna be number four?

358
00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:50,163
You better leave
her alone.

359
00:13:50,197 --> 00:13:51,331
So where you been, Chris?

360
00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:53,233
Oh, I been with Doc.

361
00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:55,268
He's going to make his
famous macaroni and cheese.

362
00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:57,270
LOUIS:
Oh, that's what
I'm talking about.

363
00:13:57,304 --> 00:13:59,339
Good.

364
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:00,974
Cook it fast. I'm hungry.

365
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,051
I'm sorry.

366
00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:14,087
I didn't know it was
that important to you.

367
00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:16,456
It's... it's all right.

368
00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:18,225
Baby.

369
00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:20,427
What?

370
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:22,229
I think you broke
the turkey.

371
00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:25,398
(both laughing)

372
00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:33,941
(football game on television)

373
00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:35,275
If I didn't do something,

374
00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:40,147
this was going to be the most
depressing Thanksgiving ever.

375
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:42,282
So...

376
00:14:42,315 --> 00:14:46,619
Uncle Mike, is your back
still hurting?

377
00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:49,022
Oh, yeah. My back as been out
for 11 years.

378
00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:51,258
It's an old football injury.

379
00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:52,459
I didn't know
you played football.

380
00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:55,395
I don't. I was
watching football

381
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:56,263
and fell off the couch.

382
00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:57,497
Does your back hurt now?

383
00:14:57,530 --> 00:14:59,967
Yeah.
Show me where.

384
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,302
Right here.

385
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:03,403
Right back there.

386
00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:05,572
Yeah, right, right,
right there.

387
00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:07,040
That's your L-5.

388
00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:08,541
I can fix that for you.

389
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:11,444
I don't know. I've been
knowing a lot of doctors

390
00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:13,380
and they told me
it was all chronic.

391
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:17,017
Chronic? What doctor has he
been going to-- Dr. Dre?

392
00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:19,386
Doctors-- they don't know
what they're talking about.

393
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,955
All right, here, here.

394
00:15:21,989 --> 00:15:23,090
Ready?

395
00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:24,224
(loud crack)

396
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,225
Oh, geez.

397
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:27,560
I feel better.

398
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:30,030
Oh, good. Now you
can get a job.

399
00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:31,598
I'm not cured, Rochelle.

400
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:33,300
It's just in remission.

401
00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:36,436
I'm next.

402
00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:39,072
Cross your arms.

403
00:15:39,106 --> 00:15:41,608
Okay, I'll get this
out of here.

404
00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:43,443
They look happy now,

405
00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:45,678
but wait till he sends
them the bill.

406
00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:48,315
(cracking)

407
00:15:50,017 --> 00:15:52,152
(crack)
Oh.

408
00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:54,221
Oh, right here.

409
00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:56,623
While everyone was inside
feeling better,

410
00:15:56,656 --> 00:16:00,227
my father was outside
feeling worse.

411
00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:02,329
Whoa, whoa, don't throw
that away.

412
00:16:02,362 --> 00:16:04,631
Is that burnt mac and cheese?

413
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:05,632
Yeah. Why?

414
00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:08,201
It's just the way
I like it.

415
00:16:08,235 --> 00:16:09,302
He wants that blackaroni,

416
00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:12,039
'cause he's on that crackaroni.

417
00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:16,643
Hey.

418
00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:18,011
Hey.

419
00:16:18,045 --> 00:16:19,446
You all right?

420
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:22,349
Yeah. You?

421
00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:24,051
Me? Yeah.

422
00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:25,452
All right.
All right.

423
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:28,221
All right.
All right.

424
00:16:30,057 --> 00:16:31,324
Hungry?

425
00:16:31,358 --> 00:16:33,793
Yeah.

426
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,395
Eat?

427
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:37,497
Yeah.

428
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:38,565
Cool.

429
00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:39,799
Cool.

430
00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:42,102
My father and uncle
loved each other,

431
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:43,436
And even though
they didn't

432
00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:45,672
always get along,
deep down inside

433
00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:47,340
here's what
they really wanted to say.

434
00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:49,276
Hey. You all right?
Hey. Yeah.

435
00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:50,343
You?
Yeah.

436
00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:51,411
All right.
Hungry?

437
00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:52,545
Eat?
Yeah.

438
00:16:52,579 --> 00:16:53,680
Cool.
Cool.

439
00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:56,183
We couldn't wait
for the turkey,

440
00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:58,285
so Doc's mac and cheese
moved from side dish

441
00:16:58,318 --> 00:16:59,719
to main course.

442
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:02,389
Rolls, mac and cheese,
cranberry sauce.

443
00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:03,623
You know, I haven't had

444
00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:05,392
a meal like this since
I kicked my habit.

445
00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:08,395
Yeah, I'm glad I don't have to
watch you at the store no more.

446
00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:09,396
(laughing)

447
00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:11,331
I know that's right.

448
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:14,734
You know what, this is the best
Thanksgiving I've had in years.

449
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:16,736
VANESSA:
Not to mention the fact
you fixed my back.

450
00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:19,072
And these green
beans, they good.
Thank you.

451
00:17:19,106 --> 00:17:22,542
Ooh, Doc, this macaroni
and cheese is fantastic.

452
00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:24,077
It's the best
I've ever tasted.

453
00:17:24,111 --> 00:17:25,512
The best you'll ever taste,

454
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,547
unless you invite me
to next Thanksgiving.

455
00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:31,451
Hey, Rochelle, why I got to be
over where with the kids?

456
00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:34,521
'Cause everybody at that table
lives with their mother.
Anyway...

457
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:37,124
JULIUS:
'Cause only working people
at this table.

458
00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:38,558
(laughing)

459
00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:43,096
(football game on television)

460
00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:44,331
Oh, well, since you're all here,

461
00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:45,565
I was wondering
if you could help me

462
00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:46,566
with my homework assignment.

463
00:17:46,599 --> 00:17:48,101
What do you need, baby?

464
00:17:48,135 --> 00:17:49,702
I need to find out what
everybody's

465
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:51,504
really thankful for
this Thanksgiving.

466
00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:54,341
Well, I'm thankful I
didn't have to eat

467
00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:55,742
any of your burnt
mac and cheese.

468
00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:59,246
I'm thankful for Carla,
Leslie, Pam, Christie,

469
00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:02,582
Michelle, Tanisha,
and Miss Patterson.

470
00:18:02,615 --> 00:18:07,220
I'm thankful for Mrs. Tyler,
Mrs. Jackson, Mrs. Watkins,

471
00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:10,723
Mrs. Turner, Mrs. Perkins
And Mrs. Patterson.

472
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:13,626
Well, I'm thankful that I don't
have to take no mess,

473
00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:15,862
'cause my man has two jobs.

474
00:18:15,895 --> 00:18:18,431
I'm thankful my son
has a job.

475
00:18:18,465 --> 00:18:21,501
(as Sammy Davis Jr.):
I'm, uh... I'm thankful for
the world's greatest

476
00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:22,769
older brother, man,
and I mean that.

477
00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:24,171
Hey, big round of applause

478
00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:25,605
for the man who made
Thanksgiving possible,

479
00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:26,806
ladies and gentlemen.

480
00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:29,676
I'm thankful I don't have
to sit with those kids no more.

481
00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:32,312
I'm thankful I read
this book by Larry X.

482
00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:35,515
I mean, this brother
is so hip.

483
00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:37,884
He breaks down the real deal
on Thanksgiving

484
00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:39,452
as it pertains to the
disenfranchised

485
00:18:39,486 --> 00:18:42,622
minorities of this
capitalist society.

486
00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:43,790
And it's
autographed, too.

487
00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:46,493
You better read it.

488
00:18:46,526 --> 00:18:47,827
Thanks.

489
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:49,696
While Doc had given me
some food for thought,

490
00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:52,299
my father couldn't take
his thoughts off of food.

491
00:18:52,332 --> 00:18:53,333
Come on, get up.

492
00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:55,635
Tonya, wake up.

493
00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:58,438
Chris, Chris, wake up.

494
00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:01,308
Drew, Drew, get up.

495
00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:07,480
Oh, Julius.

496
00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:10,250
It's beautiful.

497
00:19:10,283 --> 00:19:11,818
You didn't think he was going
to waste

498
00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:13,853
$95 worth of brand name food.

499
00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:17,690
* Girl, you're smiling
like a baby *

500
00:19:17,724 --> 00:19:23,763
* I ain't had nothing
like your love *

501
00:19:23,796 --> 00:19:27,700
* You're the one that I've been
thinking of... *

502
00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:29,536
Even though
I didn't like the idea

503
00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:30,937
of homework over Thanksgiving,

504
00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:34,807
I did learn what Thanksgiving
was all about.

505
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:38,511
"To me, Thanksgiving means
family and togetherness.

506
00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:39,812
"Thanksgiving came about

507
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:41,914
"when the Pilgrims
landed on Plymouth Rock.

508
00:19:41,948 --> 00:19:45,218
"The Indians greeted them,
provided them shelter,

509
00:19:45,252 --> 00:19:46,486
"taught them how to grow corn

510
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:47,820
"and how to prepare
for the winter.

511
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:48,888
"They went on to cook

512
00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:50,890
"one of the greatest meals
the pilgrims every ate.

513
00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:54,561
"And in appreciation
for showing them how

514
00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:57,664
"to prosper and survive
in this brave new world,

515
00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,499
"the pilgrims killed
the Indians

516
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:01,401
"and created a holiday
in their honor.

517
00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:04,437
"So on this
Thanksgiving,

518
00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:06,773
"I'm thankful for
my family, my friends,

519
00:20:06,806 --> 00:20:08,608
"but most importantly,
I'm thankful

520
00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:10,710
that I'm not a Native American."

521
00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:12,445
(one person claps)

522
00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:21,588
Happy Thanksgiving.

523
00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:22,855
* Everybody hates Chris.

524
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:25,992
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org

525
00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:34,467
* Oh... make it funky now!