1 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:36,480 The Border Inspection Department has today a special day. 2 00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:39,720 The authorities have moved incoming flights - 3 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:42,560 to receive an important passenger. 4 00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:48,160 They chose Northend because it is the quietest airport in all of Europe. 5 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:55,120 Chief Inspector Linda Proctor brings a brand new face for breakfast. 6 00:00:55,200 --> 00:01:02,920 I would like to introduce our guest Greater London Police Service. 7 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:09,840 Welcome him. Mr. Terry Bradshaw! 8 00:01:10,960 --> 00:01:12,600 Don't sweat. 9 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:14,880 Thank you very much, Linda. 10 00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:20,160 Let's get this out of the way. I am the police, and you are the border inspection department. 11 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:25,480 We haven't traditionally gotten along but... Don't tell the other cops. 12 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:31,920 I think you are doing valuable work and I want to thank you. 13 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:33,920 It won't last. 14 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:39,880 - No... - Are you okay? 15 00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:45,520 You must be wondering, when will I get to the point? 16 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:47,600 I will relieve you of the tension. 17 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:51,920 Will be extradited to Great Britain today international criminal. 18 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:56,560 Boring, I know. He is being flown to Northend Airport because, 19 00:01:56,640 --> 00:02:00,720 that I went through your statistics, and guess what? 20 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:06,640 You are one of the most qualified in the UK from the border inspection departments. 21 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:08,240 Is that what it says there? 22 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:12,160 Don't be shy, Linda! You've done a fantastic job! 23 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:17,920 That speech I gave there... You had to train for that. 24 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:23,560 Processed vegetable oil. Processed vegetable oil. 25 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:30,600 So. You have to get the language right and blood to flow, 26 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:34,120 to make it easier to digest horse shit. 27 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:37,800 Now look at this team! Look at this guy. 28 00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:42,760 And look at him. Past him no one can get in. What's your thing? 29 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:47,160 Rugby? I wouldn't want to be with you to the starting group. 30 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:53,600 I used to play rugby. Until I took too many blows to the head. 31 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:58,840 Listen to that accent too! An incredible package. Fab. 32 00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:02,680 You can come up with them yourself. 33 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:08,640 Ken Dodd's father's dog died. Iris Murdoch lost her sock. 34 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:14,800 Capital gains tax. I have not paid capital gains tax. 35 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:18,320 Let's summarize. 36 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:25,960 I officially have to take command. So I'll order, if that's okay, Linda. 37 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:30,600 Am I interested in Detective Bradshaw? I plead guilty. 38 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:35,840 I thought those days were over but I haven't felt this way since Poldark. 39 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:41,520 The criminal steps out of the plane, I take his passport and I will hand it to you. 40 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:44,920 You stamp the passport and you hand it to me. 41 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:50,920 The whole process takes about five seconds. I just need someone to stamp the passport. 42 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:55,840 Now. Now. 43 00:03:55,920 --> 00:04:00,160 Let's say... you. 44 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:04,800 - Would I have the honor, Miss... -Church. Andy Church. 45 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:08,680 -Andy. What is it short for? - That's a boy's name. 46 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:11,080 - About Andrea. - Beautiful name. 47 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:16,800 Can I stamp that bad guy's passport? 48 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:24,280 Andy Church already promised to take care of it but if I need anything else, I turn to you. 49 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:28,760 Now. Thank you very much. Do you have any questions? 50 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:34,080 I've been here three years and no one haven't asked what Andy stands for. 51 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:36,120 It felt nice. 52 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:37,680 ANDY CHURCH, BORDER OFFICER 53 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:42,000 My mother's horse is called Andrea. I was named after a horse. 54 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:47,880 You guys are awesome. Go guard our borders. 55 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:54,040 Please clap. 56 00:04:57,680 --> 00:04:59,880 Now. 57 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:02,720 Now. 58 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:06,280 -Thank you very much. -Thank you, Terry. 59 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:09,320 - Ilo is on my side. - On our side. 60 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:11,080 On my side. 61 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:13,600 - It's our... -Linda! 62 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:21,480 Joy is on my side. It's on my side. Is it clear? 63 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:24,560 Thanks. Thank you guys! 64 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:30,640 I hate this place. My best gig was in the Bahamas. 65 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:36,240 I stayed in a six-star hotel. It's better than a five star hotel. 66 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:42,520 I ordered at the Northend Hotel yesterday's martini 67 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:47,840 and it was served with a whistle. This place is full of zombies. 68 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:53,720 I can't fathom that plane agrees to land here. 69 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:56,600 Bradshaw looking for fun has taken the reins, 70 00:05:56,680 --> 00:06:02,040 so Proctor has a rare opportunity to do administrative work. 71 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:06,160 Jeez. Like I'm interested of these people's baby. 72 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:09,560 Could you please sign this passenger's papers? 73 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:14,000 I can't. Lovely Detective Bradshaw has taken the reins. 74 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:19,560 - It takes five seconds. - That's fine, but I can't do it. 75 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:22,320 I don't want to belittle the power of the police. 76 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:25,440 I don't want you to get into trouble. 77 00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:35,440 Dimples. 78 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:42,080 The day is quiet, but officials have enough important tasks. 79 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:44,880 - Hey, dude. -Hello. 80 00:06:48,280 --> 00:06:52,240 - You've experienced a lot. -Sure. 81 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:58,120 I will read you one text message. One woman writes: 82 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:04,640 “I had a fun night yesterday and I love noodles." 83 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:09,560 The man replies: "Who are you barking at as a noodle, that noodle too?" 84 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:14,400 And that's it for messaging then it ended yesterday. 85 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:17,680 - And the woman hasn't answered. -No. 86 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:20,400 -Is the man starting to freak out? -Perhaps. 87 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:24,080 -Grant has a text buzzer. - The cell phone is not mine. 88 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:26,840 - Isn't that yours? -It's someone else's. 89 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:28,800 So someone else wants to know... 90 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:33,120 Someone else wants to know why hasn't the woman answered. 91 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:37,080 Was the noodle dish bad or did it go too fast? 92 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:40,960 I think a man should calm down and take it easy. 93 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:46,080 -Let it all hang out. -So. 94 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:52,080 And make sure you look good, when you meet next time. 95 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:56,640 -So. -So. 96 00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:01,800 -Thank you. - It won't last. 97 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:09,600 Hi Tariq. The cell phone is actually mine. 98 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:17,320 After drinking six cups of tea Chief Inspector Proctor is at a standstill. 99 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:24,760 He wants to make good use of his time and focus on self-development. 100 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:30,160 Write things on the pieces of paper, which I should pay attention to 101 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:33,640 and attach the tags to me. 102 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:38,120 So that I can really embrace things. 103 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:43,560 "Long days." So. 104 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:50,280 - You should leave at six sometime. -Thanks. 105 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:56,120 -I have a "short face". -Occasionally. 106 00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:00,360 "Sugar". 107 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:06,560 My mother decided to cut back eating sugar and... 108 00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:10,000 - It's fine! - It helped... 109 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:15,400 -Because you have... - I think that should have become clear already. 110 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:20,520 -And the sugar comes up again. -I agree. 111 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:24,880 Detective Bradshaw prepares to the criminal's arrival - 112 00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:27,160 talking about Clerk Church. 113 00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:32,480 -The criminal's last name is Starkey. -Just like a character from Game of Thrones. 114 00:09:32,560 --> 00:09:37,400 - Have you watched that series? -No, but I've read the books. 115 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:41,200 - You should try reading. -Reading is for geeks. 116 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:44,440 And for civilized people. Can you read that? 117 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:49,960 I listen to audio books while pumping iron at the gym. 118 00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:54,320 -Jack Reacher novel distribution? -So. 119 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:57,280 -You seem like it. -What are you doing? 120 00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:03,440 - We were just going through the story here. -So. 121 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:07,960 - I'm going back to my workplace. -Bye, Andy! 122 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:11,520 -What exactly was that, Clive? -What? 123 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:16,240 -Do you need anything? - I just wanted to throw a hetula. 124 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:22,160 I've always wanted to be a police officer. "There are bodies everywhere". 125 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:24,240 CLIVE HASSLER, BORDER OFFICER 126 00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:31,000 "I'll try to help. I'll see you in the cafeteria." 127 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:34,080 -Do you have a gun? -No. 128 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:35,640 -A bulletproof vest? -No. 129 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:40,080 - Have you seen the body? - I am, but I don't want to talk about it with you. 130 00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:44,080 -So a painful memory... - It would be nice... 131 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:47,200 -But I have to go. -Do you need help? 132 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,000 Probably not. 133 00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:53,680 Border inspection department and police could cooperate. 134 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:59,440 Come on, Clive. I'm a police officer. I save lives. 135 00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:04,920 You are a passport stamper. I have to go. 136 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,640 -10-4. - It's not a real police code. 137 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:12,480 He called me a passport stamper. Clean. I'm going to start using it myself. 138 00:11:12,560 --> 00:11:16,600 Because the stamping of passports is the most comfortable in my job. 139 00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:21,920 I always carry an ink pad with me. I start my shift with a fresh pillow. 140 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:25,680 A passport stamp is a bit like a galloping rider. 141 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:30,120 It doesn't help that the horse reaches the finish line, if the rider has fallen. 142 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:33,360 And if a horse breaks a leg, it will be killed. 143 00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:35,600 It gets shot in the head. 144 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:43,320 I'll send you a message. 145 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:49,040 The Border Inspection Department is preparing to receive an international criminal. 146 00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:54,200 -Stop. - Oh yeah, I forgot to say "stop". Stop. 147 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:57,160 I meant stop that. 148 00:11:57,240 --> 00:12:03,280 Detective Bradshaw talks to the clerk Mansoor to get valuable information. 149 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:06,480 -What are you listening to? -Oh no... 150 00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:10,640 - Let me come. -Kendrick Lamaria. 151 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:14,000 - King Kuntaa himself. I'm a fan of him. -Great! 152 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:17,280 It's surprising that you like it of this kind of music. 153 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:21,960 Even though I'm an unwashable racist, i like good music. 154 00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:23,680 So... 155 00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:26,600 -What about Andy? -Who? 156 00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:31,440 Andy. The only attractive girl in this place. Is he single? 157 00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:35,720 -I guess so, but... - You've pissed him off. 158 00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:38,560 - I don't. -Good. 159 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:40,760 Because I'm going to put him. 160 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:48,120 I once investigated a murder case, and the victim's sister had ready oats. 161 00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:54,760 Detectives are a bit like magicians. And women love magicians. 162 00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:05,240 Did I put too much gel? 163 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:11,320 You put. You look like a pastor. 164 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:15,240 Thank you. 165 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:18,960 I ordered it to look good. 166 00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:22,240 Brodie is not the only one who wants to improve. 167 00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:26,160 Chief Inspector Proctor too has developed himself - 168 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:29,760 listening by the hour constructive criticism. 169 00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:33,160 -"Meditate". That's a positive thing. -There is. 170 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:36,640 - A little counterweight. - Thank you, Tariq. 171 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:41,000 -What do you have in it? - I was thinking about things where I could improve. 172 00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:46,160 That's nice. Because no none of us are perfect. 173 00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:52,360 -What does it say? -"Personal calls". 174 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:57,240 - Pretty unreasonable. -You could even close the door. 175 00:13:57,320 --> 00:14:00,400 Can you come up with anything else constructive? 176 00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:09,040 - "Chill". - "Chill". Yep. 177 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:12,120 Proctor has received buy feedback. 178 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:17,560 He takes advice and heads to his office to chill. 179 00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:23,040 The rest of the team kills the time of the international until the criminal lands. 180 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:27,720 Head down. Why did you put gel on your neck too? 181 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:32,760 The top coat got really shiny, and I panicked. 182 00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:37,280 Look up. You look nice even without this bullshit. 183 00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:39,680 Thanks, Andy. 184 00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:45,400 I'm dating a girl that messed up my feelings. 185 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:48,600 I sent him a message yesterday and he didn't answer. 186 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:55,200 -Maybe he ran out of battery. -I didn't even think of that. 187 00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:58,920 If I were you, I would take it easy. 188 00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:03,040 -Yeah. I was a fool. -Look up. 189 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:10,240 - Feels good. - That's enough now. 190 00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:16,160 My opinion on Terry? Border Inspection Department and the cops don't get along. 191 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:22,000 He seems quite nice, but there is something strange about him. You know? 192 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:30,760 -It's just looking to act nice. -How so? 193 00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:34,240 -He's a little too nice. - Or too nice. 194 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:39,240 I'd rather spend my time in the company of mean people. 195 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:42,920 -He has a crush on you. -And it isn't. 196 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:46,040 He has a crush on you and he wants to… 197 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:49,240 - Shall we talk for a moment, Andy? -Sure. 198 00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:59,880 Waiting for an international criminal arrival - 199 00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:05,800 Officers Brodie and Hassler compare events of the day to their favorite movie. 200 00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:09,760 Con Air is a good movie. 201 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:15,560 Do you remember the part where Steve Buscemi gets on the plane - 202 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:18,320 that mask on his head? 203 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:24,640 And everyone is like that: "Is that Steve Buscemi?" 204 00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:28,400 How such a little guy could be a crazy murderer? 205 00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:33,600 It's always the one you can't doubt. 206 00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:39,240 - I wouldn't be able to do that. - Murder? 207 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:44,000 I guess you don't. Why would you? 208 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:47,720 Sometimes I feel like I could. 209 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,800 Hi Monica. Tariq here. 210 00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:06,760 So. Long time no see. Are you going out tonight? 211 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:11,760 Chief Inspector Proctor does not officially needed when the criminal arrives. 212 00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:16,040 However, he wants to practice new leadership skills, 213 00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:18,120 even if it wasn't necessary. 214 00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:23,960 I just came to tell you that the flight landed. Just like in Con Air. 215 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:27,640 Does Terry need me? Did he ask after me? 216 00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:32,720 Not really, but so does everyone else are downstairs. 217 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:35,920 Clive! Help me find my shoes. 218 00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:43,240 Just let it be! 219 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:45,680 Don't walk ahead of me! 220 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:48,440 The long wait is finally over. 221 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:54,240 One of the most notorious in Europe criminals are taken for passport control, 222 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:56,480 where the team is already waiting. 223 00:17:56,560 --> 00:18:02,760 Waiting for the day and hard work culminating in this moment. 224 00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:09,320 -The ink is gone. -Give it here. 225 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:16,800 Anyone have an ink pad? 226 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:21,200 Be good. 227 00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:25,640 -Would you open this? -Two agencies in cooperation. 228 00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:34,360 Welcome to Great Britain. 229 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:44,400 This is why I carry an ink pad with me. 230 00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:50,960 Cooperation between two agencies went great. 231 00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:54,520 Officers may return back to his daily routine. 232 00:18:54,600 --> 00:19:00,600 For Brodie, that means texting checking 128 times. 233 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:06,560 I got the message. Dasha had run out of battery. So Andy was right. 234 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:09,520 Fortunately, I didn't panic too much. 235 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:17,520 He wrote in his message that... 236 00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:21,120 That's between us. 237 00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:27,600 He called me a bear. Suggestively. 238 00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:30,320 Nice job. 239 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:37,320 The team is preparing to go home. Mansoor's and Church think about the events of the day. 240 00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:42,280 -When are you going on a date that... - With Terry. We're not going on a date. 241 00:19:42,360 --> 00:19:47,800 We just had satisfying sex on the runway in front of everyone. 242 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:53,360 - Did he ask you out? -He asked, but I refused. 243 00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:56,720 - Did you refuse? -Was that a surprise? 244 00:19:56,800 --> 00:20:00,760 - I just thought he was a nice guy. -Hello. 245 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:05,720 -What are you doing here? -I came to pick you up from work. 246 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:09,760 - We were supposed to meet in a pub. - I was thinking of offering a ride. 247 00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:14,440 - I'm a good dating partner. - We're just hanging out. 248 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:17,160 Are we hanging out? Clear. 249 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:21,720 -Hello. I'm Andy. -Hello. I'm Monica. 250 00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:25,840 We're just hanging out so will you join the club? 251 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:31,880 I don't think I can take it. I just practiced have sex with one of the police officers. 252 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:37,360 I could introduce you. He is handsome and takes you on just the right date. 253 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:40,840 I would like to go on a proper date. 254 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:53,640 - This was fun. This is where we're going. -To hang out. 255 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:57,680 - It was nice to meet you. -Likewise. See you. 256 00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:01,080 At Northend Airport it has been a special day. 257 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:04,960 A team satisfied with their work is ready to go home. 258 00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:09,800 Detective Bradshaw unfortunately has to to leave Northend. 259 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:12,760 But hopefully he'll be back soon. 260 00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:19,080 Every time I go to Northend, I think feels like I'm on a Hidden camera. 261 00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:25,720 And now there really are cameras here. It seems logical. 262 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:34,440 Although I'm still not sure if you do a program from the scariest place in the world? 263 00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:37,360 Is the name of your program The scariest place in the world?