1 00:00:01,236 --> 00:00:04,576 ♪ It seems today that all you see ♪ 2 00:00:04,576 --> 00:00:07,776 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪ 3 00:00:07,916 --> 00:00:11,686 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ 4 00:00:11,690 --> 00:00:14,700 ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪ 5 00:00:14,696 --> 00:00:18,136 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪ 6 00:00:18,136 --> 00:00:21,306 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ 7 00:00:21,409 --> 00:00:23,049 ♪ All the things that make us ♪ 8 00:00:23,046 --> 00:00:24,316 ♪ Laugh and cry ♪ 9 00:00:24,415 --> 00:00:30,255 ♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪ 10 00:00:39,345 --> 00:00:43,015 Ah, it's so exciting to be back at the Halloween Carnival. 11 00:00:43,019 --> 00:00:44,559 Yep. Thanks to the vaccines, 12 00:00:44,556 --> 00:00:47,026 we can all get back to doing the things we hate. 13 00:00:47,127 --> 00:00:48,527 Oh, for God's sakes, Peter, 14 00:00:48,531 --> 00:00:50,641 I am so tired of you not making an effort 15 00:00:50,635 --> 00:00:52,195 to be a part of this family. 16 00:00:52,204 --> 00:00:54,444 Lois, I drove us here. I bought the tickets. 17 00:00:54,442 --> 00:00:56,952 I'm sadly shuffling through this place with you. 18 00:00:57,047 --> 00:00:58,547 - What more do you want? - Well, I don't know. 19 00:00:58,551 --> 00:01:00,251 I want you to act like you're happy 20 00:01:00,254 --> 00:01:02,094 to be with your family every now and again. 21 00:01:02,191 --> 00:01:04,401 Look, I'm doing the best I can, but I got to tell you... 22 00:01:04,395 --> 00:01:06,525 Whoa! 23 00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:08,073 Careful. 24 00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:11,179 Oh, and there's my boss. Even better. 25 00:01:11,977 --> 00:01:13,177 Hey, Preston. What's with the hat? 26 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:15,050 This is my Halloween costume. 27 00:01:15,150 --> 00:01:17,820 I'm dressed as 1990s comedian Paul Shore. 28 00:01:17,923 --> 00:01:19,933 You-you mean Pauly Shore? 29 00:01:20,027 --> 00:01:22,197 Perhaps in less formal circumstances. 30 00:01:22,298 --> 00:01:24,598 You may recall he borrowed heavily from surf culture, 31 00:01:24,703 --> 00:01:28,843 with phrases such as, "Hey, buddy," and "Grindage". 32 00:01:28,945 --> 00:01:30,715 I don't think this costume is working. 33 00:01:30,815 --> 00:01:32,585 Neither is Pauly Shore. 34 00:01:32,585 --> 00:01:34,585 Ooh! That looks scary. 35 00:01:34,589 --> 00:01:38,359 "The House of Unskippable Podcast Ads." 36 00:01:40,969 --> 00:01:42,969 Before we get to the thrilling conclusion 37 00:01:43,073 --> 00:01:44,283 of Murder at the South Pole, 38 00:01:44,275 --> 00:01:45,975 I'd like to tell you about UNTUCKit shirts. 39 00:01:46,981 --> 00:01:48,381 I-I'm hitting "skip ahead," 40 00:01:48,483 --> 00:01:49,693 but it's not doing anything! 41 00:01:49,686 --> 00:01:52,086 Last weekend, I was at a barbecue and thought, 42 00:01:52,191 --> 00:01:54,001 "What's with all this excess fabric 43 00:01:53,995 --> 00:01:55,325 at the bottom of my shirt?" 44 00:01:55,430 --> 00:01:58,540 Oh, God! A clearly fake personal story! 45 00:01:58,537 --> 00:02:00,107 The big game was on the boob tube, 46 00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:02,877 but the biggest touchdown was the perfect length 47 00:02:02,879 --> 00:02:06,349 of my friend's premium-made, affordably priced shirt. 48 00:02:06,352 --> 00:02:08,492 Literally no one talks like that! 49 00:02:08,490 --> 00:02:10,930 So, I went right home and Bing-ed "UNTUCKit" 50 00:02:10,928 --> 00:02:12,668 on my Microsoft Surface. 51 00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:15,836 Is this a promotion within a promotion?! 52 00:02:15,838 --> 00:02:17,338 UNTUCKit shirts. 53 00:02:17,341 --> 00:02:20,721 We weren't here for Kevin James, but we're here now. 54 00:02:23,888 --> 00:02:27,258 All right, gang, as a mom who planned a family activity, 55 00:02:27,361 --> 00:02:29,231 I'm gonna put wild pressure on you guys 56 00:02:29,231 --> 00:02:30,871 to say you're having a good time. 57 00:02:30,868 --> 00:02:35,308 Chris, honey, are you-- are you having a good time? 58 00:02:36,245 --> 00:02:39,085 Okay, I'm gonna need a verbal response. 59 00:02:39,085 --> 00:02:40,785 - Yeah. - Oh, good. 60 00:02:40,788 --> 00:02:42,158 Chris is having a good time. 61 00:02:42,157 --> 00:02:44,127 Meg. Meg, are you having a good time 62 00:02:44,128 --> 00:02:45,998 - just like your brother? - I guess. 63 00:02:45,998 --> 00:02:47,668 Okay, great. 64 00:02:47,669 --> 00:02:49,409 Can you sign this form for my Mom Meeting, 65 00:02:49,405 --> 00:02:51,475 acknowledging your merriment? 66 00:02:51,476 --> 00:02:53,906 Wow, very good. 67 00:02:54,015 --> 00:02:55,445 I see everyone had a good time. 68 00:02:55,450 --> 00:02:58,620 Would you like to spin the wheel of Mom Prizes? 69 00:03:07,575 --> 00:03:10,045 "Donate spin to mom you wish to belittle." 70 00:03:10,047 --> 00:03:12,177 Oh, thank you! But, you know, 71 00:03:12,184 --> 00:03:14,624 Bonnie needs this more than I do. 72 00:03:15,691 --> 00:03:19,271 Her rejuvenation only made things worse. 73 00:03:25,210 --> 00:03:28,350 Holography? That's next door to witchcraft, 74 00:03:28,450 --> 00:03:30,890 and down the hall from David-Blaine-ery. 75 00:03:30,888 --> 00:03:32,628 I do not care for his ruses. 76 00:03:32,726 --> 00:03:35,566 Ah, stop being such a wuss. Let's go. 77 00:03:41,175 --> 00:03:44,245 The Michael Cera hologram is a weird choice. 78 00:03:44,248 --> 00:03:47,288 Oh, i-it's the real me. I'm just kind of translucent. 79 00:03:47,287 --> 00:03:49,257 Oh, hello, Hollywood. 80 00:03:49,258 --> 00:03:50,528 Yes, I would like to star 81 00:03:50,628 --> 00:03:52,328 in an action movie franchise. 82 00:03:52,331 --> 00:03:54,071 That's not a Bluetooth. 83 00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:55,868 He just stuck a Tootsie Roll in his ear. 84 00:03:55,872 --> 00:03:58,482 Wow, these holograms are the most amazing thing 85 00:03:58,476 --> 00:04:01,946 I've ever seen, and I've seen, like, a really big horse. 86 00:04:06,426 --> 00:04:10,166 Welcome to my hologram laboratory. 87 00:04:10,267 --> 00:04:13,507 Would you like to see how I make my babies? 88 00:04:13,507 --> 00:04:15,647 I mean, I'm already here. 89 00:04:15,645 --> 00:04:16,945 Is that a yes? 90 00:04:16,947 --> 00:04:19,547 - Yes. - Just say that, then. 91 00:04:20,387 --> 00:04:22,727 This machine scans your data, 92 00:04:22,826 --> 00:04:25,766 then creates a virtual hard light version of you 93 00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:29,205 that can physically interact with the world. 94 00:04:29,205 --> 00:04:30,675 That sounds kind of bogus. 95 00:04:30,775 --> 00:04:32,205 Does the science check out on that? 96 00:04:32,311 --> 00:04:34,151 They used it on Star Trek. 97 00:04:34,148 --> 00:04:35,548 You got a problem with Star Trek? 98 00:04:35,651 --> 00:04:38,091 Okay, take it easy. I accept your explanation. 99 00:04:38,189 --> 00:04:40,359 We all should. It's Halloween. 100 00:04:40,494 --> 00:04:43,974 You can command them to perform any human task, 101 00:04:43,968 --> 00:04:45,768 no matter how menial. 102 00:04:45,872 --> 00:04:47,982 So, you're saying I can have something 103 00:04:47,976 --> 00:04:49,676 that looks exactly like me 104 00:04:49,679 --> 00:04:52,589 seem like it's enjoying spending time with its family? 105 00:04:52,585 --> 00:04:54,115 Precisely. 106 00:04:54,255 --> 00:04:56,185 - Can I have it? - I'm afraid not. 107 00:04:56,292 --> 00:04:57,832 It's my only one. 108 00:04:57,962 --> 00:05:02,472 Maybe there are... other arrangements we can make? 109 00:05:02,471 --> 00:05:05,481 Boy, this is the first button-down shirt 110 00:05:05,477 --> 00:05:07,277 that looks great untucked. 111 00:05:07,281 --> 00:05:09,651 - It's an UNTUCKit. - What's their secret? 112 00:05:09,786 --> 00:05:11,856 Oh, they just make shirts a tiny bit shorter. 113 00:05:11,857 --> 00:05:13,387 Genius. 114 00:05:27,789 --> 00:05:30,029 Man, this machine is complicated. 115 00:05:30,026 --> 00:05:31,756 I hope I can figure it out. 116 00:05:33,132 --> 00:05:34,942 Here goes nothing. 117 00:05:37,842 --> 00:05:40,622 Thank you for choosing the Holomaker-9000. 118 00:05:40,615 --> 00:05:43,385 Please input personal characteristics. 119 00:05:43,386 --> 00:05:44,856 Do they have to be true? 120 00:05:44,856 --> 00:05:47,696 I have no way of knowing what is true and what is not. 121 00:05:47,795 --> 00:05:50,425 Such is life in the Post-Donald-Trump Era. 122 00:05:50,535 --> 00:05:52,865 Ugh, leave the satire to Garrison Keillor. 123 00:05:52,872 --> 00:05:55,412 Okay, time for some statements about myself 124 00:05:55,410 --> 00:05:57,310 that are definitely not lies. 125 00:05:57,314 --> 00:05:59,624 Let's see, I'm a black belt in karate, 126 00:05:59,619 --> 00:06:01,619 I can cook an eight-course French meal, 127 00:06:01,723 --> 00:06:03,763 I always enter cars through the window 128 00:06:03,861 --> 00:06:05,501 'cause doors ain't the boss of me, 129 00:06:05,598 --> 00:06:07,468 and I'm great at remembering names. 130 00:06:07,467 --> 00:06:10,537 Just ask my friends: Joel, Clemson and QuickTime. 131 00:06:23,767 --> 00:06:27,237 Hello, Peter Griffin. I am Hologram Peter Griffin. 132 00:06:27,341 --> 00:06:29,351 How may I be of service? 133 00:06:29,345 --> 00:06:30,645 Come upstairs, Peter! 134 00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:32,791 I need you to put the too-small slip covers 135 00:06:32,785 --> 00:06:34,915 on the hard-to-grip couch pillows. 136 00:06:34,923 --> 00:06:37,033 You can start by handling that. 137 00:06:37,127 --> 00:06:40,767 I would be happy to help your family with whatever they need. 138 00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:42,738 Aw, sweet! If this works out, 139 00:06:42,739 --> 00:06:45,139 I'll have more time for those QAnon rallies. 140 00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:47,313 - What do we want? - We don't know! 141 00:06:47,314 --> 00:06:49,994 - When do we want it? - Also unclear! 142 00:06:49,986 --> 00:06:52,656 - Why do we want it? - Because it was forwarded to us 143 00:06:52,659 --> 00:06:55,159 in an email, so it must be true! 144 00:06:55,163 --> 00:06:57,003 Yeah! 145 00:06:58,002 --> 00:06:59,312 Oh, Peter, there you are. 146 00:06:59,405 --> 00:07:01,305 Listen, I'm trying to clear out my closet, 147 00:07:01,309 --> 00:07:05,049 so I want you to give me your honest opinion of every garment. 148 00:07:07,487 --> 00:07:11,397 Perfect. I love working as a team to reduce clutter. 149 00:07:11,395 --> 00:07:14,835 Okay, first, my "7 Up Yours" T-shirt. 150 00:07:14,936 --> 00:07:18,006 That was the most provocative thing ever put on television 151 00:07:18,009 --> 00:07:21,179 - at the time, you have to keep that. - Okay, great. 152 00:07:21,182 --> 00:07:24,692 Now my "Skinny Girl Margarita" T-shirt Bethenny Frankel gave me 153 00:07:24,689 --> 00:07:26,559 after she hit Chris with her car. 154 00:07:26,660 --> 00:07:28,400 That's a fun story. Keep. 155 00:07:28,530 --> 00:07:29,830 Great. Okay. 156 00:07:29,833 --> 00:07:32,143 Under-the-seat studio audience poncho 157 00:07:32,237 --> 00:07:33,737 from The Meredith Vieira Show? 158 00:07:33,741 --> 00:07:37,351 Maybe it's time to say goodbye to Miss Vieira. 159 00:07:37,447 --> 00:07:39,687 Oh, man, this is going great! 160 00:07:42,024 --> 00:07:44,564 Aw, crap, I'm stuck. 161 00:07:44,562 --> 00:07:46,572 Let me call my eyehole painting guy. 162 00:07:46,566 --> 00:07:48,536 Hey, it's Peter Griffin. 163 00:07:48,537 --> 00:07:50,877 Yep, trapped in the painting again. 164 00:07:50,875 --> 00:07:52,405 I know, I know. 165 00:07:52,411 --> 00:07:54,551 Well, can't you just look up my account? 166 00:07:54,549 --> 00:07:56,519 No, I don't have my ID number. 167 00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:58,720 No, I can't get my ID number! 168 00:07:58,724 --> 00:08:00,834 Because I'm trapped in the painting! 169 00:08:00,828 --> 00:08:03,198 I'm sorry, I-I'm mad at your company, not you. 170 00:08:03,199 --> 00:08:04,469 You-You're fine. 171 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:12,020 Okay, yesterday worked out great. 172 00:08:12,117 --> 00:08:15,057 So here's some more dumb family stuff I want you to do for me. 173 00:08:15,056 --> 00:08:17,826 "Teach Stewie what sound the cow makes." 174 00:08:17,829 --> 00:08:20,569 It's "moo." "Quack" is duck. 175 00:08:20,568 --> 00:08:22,268 "Get opiates from John." 176 00:08:22,270 --> 00:08:23,570 Yeah, I'll give you John's number. 177 00:08:23,674 --> 00:08:26,414 Tell him it's Peter calling for opiates from John. 178 00:08:26,412 --> 00:08:28,052 - He'll know what you mean. - Got it. 179 00:08:28,182 --> 00:08:29,352 Now that you're doing all that, 180 00:08:29,451 --> 00:08:31,461 I'm going to The Clam with the guys. 181 00:08:31,455 --> 00:08:33,725 Oh, man, this hologram thing is the best idea 182 00:08:33,861 --> 00:08:36,001 since the Mayflower hired a cruise director. 183 00:08:35,998 --> 00:08:38,368 Okay, everyone, from 8:00 until 9:00, 184 00:08:38,469 --> 00:08:40,639 we'll be trembling before our angry God. 185 00:08:40,775 --> 00:08:43,375 From 9:00 to 10:00, there's yellow fever on the lido deck. 186 00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:45,649 And at 10:00, it's everybody's favorite, 187 00:08:45,651 --> 00:08:47,351 Buckle-Hat Bingo. 188 00:08:47,354 --> 00:08:49,264 What if we lost our buckle hat? 189 00:08:49,358 --> 00:08:51,228 - Well, do you have a plain hat? - Yeah. 190 00:08:51,228 --> 00:08:52,868 - Do you have a belt? - Yeah. 191 00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:55,495 You got a buckle hat. 192 00:08:55,604 --> 00:08:58,814 I just love knowing what's going on. 193 00:09:01,616 --> 00:09:03,746 Oh, Peter, thanks for clearing out 194 00:09:03,754 --> 00:09:05,734 an area for us to start a garden. 195 00:09:05,725 --> 00:09:09,865 Yeah, they say the best day to plant a garden is yesterday. 196 00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:12,196 And the next best day is today! 197 00:09:13,907 --> 00:09:15,907 This, this is what I meant 198 00:09:15,911 --> 00:09:17,951 about making an effort with the family. 199 00:09:18,049 --> 00:09:21,889 And I can garden, too, 'cause I have a brown thumb. 200 00:09:21,890 --> 00:09:24,830 That's more of a wiping issue, son, but I'm glad you're here. 201 00:09:24,929 --> 00:09:27,169 This is great, but I'm a little hot. 202 00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:30,067 No problem, that's why I bought a giant sun hat 203 00:09:30,073 --> 00:09:31,343 that can fit all of us. 204 00:09:31,342 --> 00:09:33,782 And now to quote the kitchen towel, 205 00:09:33,781 --> 00:09:35,921 "Lettuce turnip the beet." 206 00:09:36,018 --> 00:09:40,288 Stop it or I'm gonna wet myself. 207 00:09:40,427 --> 00:09:42,867 Me, too. I always wet my plants. 208 00:09:44,936 --> 00:09:46,436 Where do you get all this? 209 00:09:46,439 --> 00:09:48,039 They're all from towels, Lois! 210 00:09:48,142 --> 00:09:50,012 They're all from towels! 211 00:09:52,819 --> 00:09:55,059 Well, what do you think, guys? 212 00:09:55,190 --> 00:09:56,160 Should we wrap it up? 213 00:09:56,258 --> 00:09:58,598 Yeah, but can one of you throw glitter on me? 214 00:09:58,697 --> 00:10:01,237 It's-it's better if Lois thinks I'm at a strip club. 215 00:10:01,335 --> 00:10:02,965 She hates you guys. 216 00:10:04,108 --> 00:10:06,848 Peter, I think you're a little too drunk to walk home. 217 00:10:06,947 --> 00:10:09,987 - Yeah, give us your shoes. - Can we give you a ride? 218 00:10:09,986 --> 00:10:11,956 No, no, it's okay. I'll just black out 219 00:10:11,957 --> 00:10:14,387 and-and never know how I got home. 220 00:10:16,265 --> 00:10:18,095 Works every time. 221 00:10:18,102 --> 00:10:20,712 And it's good for the environment, maybe. 222 00:10:26,385 --> 00:10:28,155 Boy, they look pretty happy. 223 00:10:28,156 --> 00:10:30,826 And they're singing Halloween carols. 224 00:10:30,828 --> 00:10:33,568 ♪ Halloween has lots of candy ♪ 225 00:10:33,567 --> 00:10:36,137 ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪ 226 00:10:36,138 --> 00:10:38,878 ♪ Wear a mask and ring a doorbell ♪ 227 00:10:38,977 --> 00:10:41,717 - The perfect rhyme! - ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪ 228 00:10:41,817 --> 00:10:44,317 ♪ Don't be racist with your costume ♪ 229 00:10:44,421 --> 00:10:48,001 ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la. ♪ 230 00:10:49,666 --> 00:10:50,996 Ah, that was fun. 231 00:10:51,001 --> 00:10:53,241 And now that we're just about done with Halloween, 232 00:10:53,239 --> 00:10:56,379 maybe it's time to start writing the family Christmas letter. 233 00:10:56,478 --> 00:10:58,848 Ah, Peter, that's a great idea! 234 00:10:58,851 --> 00:11:00,521 Good luck, pal. 235 00:11:00,621 --> 00:11:02,021 Our Christmas letter always runs aground 236 00:11:02,123 --> 00:11:03,993 'cause our family has no accomplishments. 237 00:11:03,994 --> 00:11:06,674 All right, we need some highlights from our year. 238 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:09,636 Um, I got suspended for setting up a tent 239 00:11:09,639 --> 00:11:12,009 in my Spanish teacher's front yard. 240 00:11:12,010 --> 00:11:14,180 "After several adventurous camping trips, 241 00:11:14,181 --> 00:11:16,621 "Chris is becoming quite the outdoorsman 242 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:19,290 and has found a true mentor in Señora Diaz." 243 00:11:19,391 --> 00:11:21,861 I was trying to snag a bagel from the school dumpster 244 00:11:21,863 --> 00:11:24,233 and got accidentally hoisted into the garbage truck. 245 00:11:24,234 --> 00:11:26,944 "This was the year Meg caught the travel bug." 246 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:29,110 Stewie's first pony ride ended 247 00:11:29,111 --> 00:11:31,881 after he blew out his diaper all over the horse's back. 248 00:11:31,883 --> 00:11:33,823 "Stewie pooped on a horse." 249 00:11:33,921 --> 00:11:36,061 Whoa, Pop, where's my razzle-dazzle? 250 00:11:36,158 --> 00:11:39,698 "And Lois celebrated her 29th birthday this year." 251 00:11:39,799 --> 00:11:42,339 Oh, Peter. 252 00:11:42,437 --> 00:11:43,867 What the h-- Lois isn't 29... 253 00:11:43,874 --> 00:11:46,414 Oh, I see what he's doing. 254 00:11:46,412 --> 00:11:48,252 That's-that's very funny. 255 00:11:51,756 --> 00:11:54,426 What the hell? No one kisses my wife 256 00:11:54,529 --> 00:11:56,229 except, begrudgingly, me! 257 00:11:56,232 --> 00:11:58,672 It's time for Hologram Peter to go back 258 00:11:58,670 --> 00:12:00,440 inside the machine where he came from. 259 00:12:02,410 --> 00:12:03,450 I'll be back in a minute. 260 00:12:03,446 --> 00:12:04,846 Don't pray without me. 261 00:12:04,949 --> 00:12:06,849 Give me that! You're not the only one 262 00:12:06,953 --> 00:12:08,763 who can do things for this family. 263 00:12:09,826 --> 00:12:11,996 Can you... can you pick that up? 264 00:12:11,997 --> 00:12:14,397 Listen, I appreciate you covering for me, 265 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:15,701 but I can take it from here. 266 00:12:15,804 --> 00:12:18,284 Don't be silly. I've got 'em all taken care of. 267 00:12:18,376 --> 00:12:21,046 - Go have fun. - I thought this was gonna be a good idea, 268 00:12:21,048 --> 00:12:22,948 and-and these last few hours have been great... 269 00:12:22,952 --> 00:12:24,522 You've been gone three days. 270 00:12:24,522 --> 00:12:26,592 But I'm ready to go back to my family. 271 00:12:26,593 --> 00:12:28,203 Okay, you're the boss. 272 00:12:28,195 --> 00:12:29,825 The hologram machine is in the basement. 273 00:12:29,933 --> 00:12:32,773 Let's head down there together and sort this out. 274 00:12:41,355 --> 00:12:44,925 Where's the machine? I left it right over-- 275 00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:48,540 As Peter lost consciousness, 276 00:12:48,637 --> 00:12:52,747 he finally saw the folly of his hologram misadventure. 277 00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:57,793 Also, going forward, I'd appreciate 278 00:12:57,888 --> 00:13:00,128 a bit more warning before having to narrate. 279 00:13:00,126 --> 00:13:02,566 Even just a few minutes 280 00:13:02,565 --> 00:13:05,235 to finish whatever it is I'm doing. 281 00:13:05,336 --> 00:13:07,776 Sir, you're supposed to buy something 282 00:13:07,775 --> 00:13:09,475 if you want to use the restroom. 283 00:13:09,579 --> 00:13:11,879 Well, what's the cheapest thing you got? 284 00:13:11,883 --> 00:13:14,023 Probably a near-the-register cookie? 285 00:13:14,154 --> 00:13:16,164 Well, put me down for one of those. 286 00:13:24,374 --> 00:13:26,384 Wha... what happened? 287 00:13:26,378 --> 00:13:29,148 - I knocked you out and tied you up. - Why? 288 00:13:29,151 --> 00:13:31,721 Because they're my family now. 289 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:35,160 Well, the joke's on you. 290 00:13:35,263 --> 00:13:38,173 When you first got here, I sent a letter to the FBI 291 00:13:38,269 --> 00:13:41,109 because I knew something like this might happen. 292 00:13:42,110 --> 00:13:43,480 Is it bad? 293 00:13:44,849 --> 00:13:46,149 It's better than the last one. 294 00:13:46,151 --> 00:13:48,391 You should put it up on the FBI fridge 295 00:13:48,523 --> 00:13:49,893 next to his drawing of Shrek. 296 00:13:49,892 --> 00:13:51,102 What? 297 00:13:51,228 --> 00:13:53,368 Nothing. It's not supposed to be Shrek. 298 00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:55,666 It's supposed to be the Hulk, but that's funny. 299 00:13:55,671 --> 00:13:57,441 You don't deserve your family. 300 00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:59,780 I care about them way more than you ever did. 301 00:13:59,879 --> 00:14:01,079 That's not true! 302 00:14:01,181 --> 00:14:03,951 Oh, yeah? Who bought double-decker burial plots 303 00:14:03,954 --> 00:14:05,794 because Lois likes to be on top? 304 00:14:05,791 --> 00:14:08,101 Who taught Chris to whisper... "Black" 305 00:14:08,195 --> 00:14:10,225 out of respect for... "Blacks"? 306 00:14:10,233 --> 00:14:14,173 Me! And once I finish you, they'll be all mine. 307 00:14:14,174 --> 00:14:16,914 Peter! Can you come upstairs 308 00:14:16,913 --> 00:14:19,553 and tell me if this gray chicken smells funny? 309 00:14:19,552 --> 00:14:20,852 Be right up, babe! 310 00:14:20,954 --> 00:14:24,434 Aw, man. This is worse than-- 311 00:14:27,902 --> 00:14:30,612 Wait, what are we supposed to do in this cutaway? 312 00:14:30,607 --> 00:14:32,777 I don't know, I didn-- I didn't understand the setup. 313 00:14:32,778 --> 00:14:34,878 Well, we have to do something. 314 00:14:34,882 --> 00:14:39,462 Um, I mean, you do have a long neck and I have fangs. 315 00:14:39,458 --> 00:14:41,228 Maybe something in that area? 316 00:14:41,228 --> 00:14:43,828 Uh, maybe we just wait to hear what the grown men 317 00:14:43,834 --> 00:14:45,904 who write for cartoons say? 318 00:14:50,981 --> 00:14:54,451 Cream number 99 and cream 100. 319 00:14:54,555 --> 00:14:56,855 Okay, I'm ready for bed. 320 00:14:56,860 --> 00:14:58,900 Well, we had meatloaf tonight, 321 00:14:58,897 --> 00:15:00,867 so I guess I'm in for a Dutch oven. 322 00:15:00,868 --> 00:15:02,238 What's a Dutch oven? 323 00:15:08,683 --> 00:15:13,363 Peter, wh-why is there dental floss in this trash can? 324 00:15:13,492 --> 00:15:14,832 Because I just flossed. 325 00:15:14,829 --> 00:15:16,869 Death creeps in through the gums, you know. 326 00:15:18,369 --> 00:15:21,439 Um, Peter, I-I need to go downstairs. 327 00:15:21,442 --> 00:15:24,982 I... I left a lame excuse on the stove. 328 00:15:25,082 --> 00:15:28,192 Okay, but be careful, I just mopped the kitchen floor. 329 00:15:28,924 --> 00:15:30,764 I love you! 330 00:15:30,761 --> 00:15:33,271 Stewie, wake up! We got to go. 331 00:15:33,265 --> 00:15:34,865 Chris, come on. We got to go. 332 00:15:34,869 --> 00:15:37,909 Meg, can you drag the trash to the curb tomorrow before 9:00? 333 00:15:37,908 --> 00:15:39,338 We won't be here. 334 00:15:45,123 --> 00:15:46,993 Thanks for telling us that whole backstory 335 00:15:46,993 --> 00:15:48,603 on the way down the stairs, Mom. 336 00:15:48,597 --> 00:15:50,997 Yeah, now we don't have to waste time hearing about 337 00:15:51,001 --> 00:15:53,041 how a hologram of Peter replaced the real Peter. 338 00:15:53,139 --> 00:15:54,509 Although, I don't know why we had to hear about 339 00:15:54,609 --> 00:15:56,709 Bonnie not inviting you to Rosé Game Night. 340 00:15:56,813 --> 00:15:59,723 Well, I just thought it was weird, 'cause it was my idea. 341 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:08,469 Going somewhere, family? 342 00:16:17,721 --> 00:16:19,791 I didn't want to have to tie you up. 343 00:16:19,792 --> 00:16:21,462 I did everything for you. 344 00:16:21,596 --> 00:16:24,366 And people think holograms don't have feelings. 345 00:16:24,367 --> 00:16:25,497 Well, we don't. 346 00:16:25,604 --> 00:16:27,944 And then I watched one episode of This Is Us, 347 00:16:27,942 --> 00:16:30,152 and now I'm all feelings. 348 00:16:30,146 --> 00:16:33,846 Don't mention This is Us. Aw, great. Now I'm gonna cry. 349 00:16:33,854 --> 00:16:35,894 Save your crocodile tears. 350 00:16:35,891 --> 00:16:37,731 None of you appreciated me. 351 00:16:37,728 --> 00:16:40,768 And if I can't have you, no one will. 352 00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:43,507 I hate This is Us. 353 00:16:44,542 --> 00:16:45,942 Let my family go. 354 00:16:46,078 --> 00:16:47,948 I'm impressed. 355 00:16:48,082 --> 00:16:50,122 How did you free yourself from the bindings? 356 00:16:50,119 --> 00:16:53,289 I found a hacksaw and sawed through my hands. 357 00:16:53,292 --> 00:16:55,262 Why didn't you saw through the ropes? 358 00:16:55,263 --> 00:16:57,543 Hacksaw hindsight is twenty-twenty, Lois. 359 00:16:57,668 --> 00:17:00,538 The important thing is, I stitched my hands back on 360 00:17:00,541 --> 00:17:02,141 with Twizzlers. 361 00:17:05,249 --> 00:17:07,389 All right, fat guy fight rules: 362 00:17:07,487 --> 00:17:09,557 We grab at each other's shirts until we're out of breath 363 00:17:09,659 --> 00:17:11,999 - and then a three-minute break. - Got it. 364 00:17:12,096 --> 00:17:13,926 Should we just take a three-minute break now? 365 00:17:13,934 --> 00:17:15,304 Agreed. 366 00:17:18,743 --> 00:17:20,383 It turned into a pudding break. 367 00:17:20,379 --> 00:17:21,819 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! 368 00:17:21,816 --> 00:17:23,316 I didn't get to lick the lid. 369 00:17:28,563 --> 00:17:32,043 Now for the final download. 370 00:17:32,036 --> 00:17:34,576 Everything in your mind. 371 00:17:38,282 --> 00:17:41,492 Joke's on you. There's nothing in there. 372 00:17:52,143 --> 00:17:54,383 Guys, Dad needs help! 373 00:18:00,026 --> 00:18:01,656 We have to short-circuit the hologram. 374 00:18:01,663 --> 00:18:04,033 Can anyone shoot lightning from their fingers? 375 00:18:04,034 --> 00:18:05,674 I can, 376 00:18:05,671 --> 00:18:09,241 but I have to be very angry. 377 00:18:11,315 --> 00:18:14,185 Wait, Brian, there are other kinds of electricity. 378 00:18:14,187 --> 00:18:16,187 By simply rubbing my feet on the carpet, 379 00:18:16,191 --> 00:18:18,601 I may be able to generate enough static electricity 380 00:18:18,697 --> 00:18:20,967 - to do the job. - Stewie, that's a great idea! 381 00:18:21,068 --> 00:18:22,098 What can I do to help? 382 00:18:22,203 --> 00:18:23,643 I need something to get my feet going. 383 00:18:23,740 --> 00:18:25,180 Can you sing "I Got Rhythm"? 384 00:18:25,276 --> 00:18:28,376 Um, I-I... Can I, can I just say "da da" 385 00:18:28,382 --> 00:18:29,592 for the words I don't know? 386 00:18:29,585 --> 00:18:30,915 We have no choice. Go! 387 00:18:30,921 --> 00:18:32,691 ♪ Da da rhythm ♪ 388 00:18:32,691 --> 00:18:34,061 Wait, wait, wait. 389 00:18:34,060 --> 00:18:36,260 We're starting with the "da das" already? 390 00:18:36,264 --> 00:18:38,704 You don't know "I got rhythm"? It's in the name! 391 00:18:38,703 --> 00:18:39,943 Okay, I got it. Got it, got it. 392 00:18:40,039 --> 00:18:42,139 - ♪ I got da da ♪ - Rhythm! 393 00:18:42,143 --> 00:18:43,653 You said that the first time! 394 00:18:43,647 --> 00:18:46,717 Okay, now I'm starting to get angry. 395 00:18:46,719 --> 00:18:48,089 I'll do it myself. 396 00:18:48,222 --> 00:18:49,732 ♪ I got rhythm ♪ 397 00:18:49,725 --> 00:18:51,225 ♪ Da da music. ♪ 398 00:18:51,228 --> 00:18:52,498 Oh-ho! The expert. 399 00:18:52,497 --> 00:18:54,197 Well, I got through the title at least. 400 00:19:00,981 --> 00:19:02,991 It's working! 401 00:19:02,985 --> 00:19:04,145 Quick, everyone, hold hands. 402 00:19:04,154 --> 00:19:05,694 We have to reach Peter. 403 00:19:12,103 --> 00:19:13,743 We can't reach him! 404 00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:15,010 Lois, use your toe! 405 00:19:15,009 --> 00:19:17,249 I haven't had a pedicure in four weeks! 406 00:19:17,347 --> 00:19:19,447 Just do it. We won't look. 407 00:19:21,923 --> 00:19:22,893 Ew. 408 00:19:22,991 --> 00:19:24,861 Peter! Touch my toe! 409 00:19:24,862 --> 00:19:26,632 - Ew. - Do it! 410 00:19:26,632 --> 00:19:29,972 That's usually my line, but whatever. 411 00:19:46,104 --> 00:19:48,384 Wilma! 412 00:19:56,759 --> 00:19:59,499 You saved us, Peter. 413 00:20:00,266 --> 00:20:02,296 Yeah, glad you thought of it. 414 00:20:02,437 --> 00:20:03,907 I hate this place. 415 00:20:04,007 --> 00:20:05,607 Of course I did. 416 00:20:05,610 --> 00:20:06,580 I love you guys. 417 00:20:06,679 --> 00:20:09,049 And from now on, I'll try to be half as good 418 00:20:09,150 --> 00:20:10,590 as Hologram Me was. 419 00:20:10,587 --> 00:20:12,317 Oh, but don't you see, Peter? 420 00:20:12,423 --> 00:20:14,463 The hologram was you. 421 00:20:14,461 --> 00:20:16,201 He was just the best version of you. 422 00:20:16,198 --> 00:20:18,468 You can get there, it'll just take work. 423 00:20:18,570 --> 00:20:21,540 No, the deal was I promise to be half as good 424 00:20:21,542 --> 00:20:22,482 as a fake thing. 425 00:20:22,578 --> 00:20:24,518 - All right, just do that. - No promises. 426 00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:32,429 Well, Peter, I'm glad you're safe, 427 00:20:32,430 --> 00:20:34,100 and everything's back to normal. 428 00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:36,300 Yeah. Me, too. And you know what? 429 00:20:36,304 --> 00:20:38,544 I realized how much I missed you guys. 430 00:20:38,543 --> 00:20:40,453 What do you say we turn off that TV 431 00:20:40,446 --> 00:20:42,046 and do something as a family? 432 00:20:42,150 --> 00:20:43,490 Damn it. 433 00:20:43,485 --> 00:20:45,285 He created another hologram. 434 00:20:45,389 --> 00:20:47,329 I'll get my feet started. 435 00:20:47,326 --> 00:20:50,066 - Brian, little "Camptown Races"? - You got it. 436 00:20:50,065 --> 00:20:51,735 ♪ Da da ladies sing this song ♪ 437 00:20:51,836 --> 00:20:54,336 - I just gave you the title! - Sorry, uh... 438 00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:56,240 ♪ Camptown ladies sing this song ♪ 439 00:20:56,244 --> 00:20:58,184 - ♪ Da da-- ♪ - It's "Doo-dah"! 440 00:20:58,182 --> 00:20:59,252 At least I got one of 'em. 441 00:20:59,250 --> 00:21:00,920 The second one doesn't count!