1 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:35,798 (CHEERING) 2 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:41,191 Are you all right, mother? 3 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:44,397 Mother, have you fallen in? 4 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:46,360 (MADGE GROANS) 5 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:48,118 Are you all right? 6 00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:51,472 Who's ever heard of serving boiled egg curry on a plane? 7 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:54,672 - Well, you didn't have to eat it. - It were free. 8 00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:57,949 Where's Mel? I don't want him to see me like this. 9 00:00:58,080 --> 00:00:59,593 Have I gone all pale? 10 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:01,916 I don't think there's much chance of that. 11 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:03,838 He's out here with the rest of us. 12 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:08,318 (MAN ON PA) Passengers arriving from Manchester Airport on flight 219... 13 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:13,916 - You all right, princess? - Ah! 14 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:16,600 He's a good-looking fella, you've got to admit it. 15 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:20,076 I think that curry's affected your eyes as well, come on. 16 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:23,272 Of course, I know you didn't go for looks with Mick or personality. 17 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,038 Do you mind? That's my husband you're talking about. 18 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:29,836 Oh, there's something about a handsome man just gets the old juices flowing. 19 00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:32,429 Bloody hell, mother, do you have to? 20 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:38,036 - Everything all right? - Oh, yes. I was just powdering me nose. 21 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:39,840 (BURPING) 22 00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:44,757 - You look a million dollars. - Oh, you don't look so bad yourself. 23 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:48,350 Jesus, if we get any more juices flowing we'll have to swim to the hotel. 24 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:50,073 - You what? - Never mind! 25 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:51,634 Where's Telle? 26 00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:54,636 She's here. Come on, let's go. 27 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:57,958 - Have you got everything? - Yeah. 28 00:01:58,080 --> 00:01:59,991 - Are you sure? - Yeah! 29 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:03,515 Oh, shit! 30 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:12,679 Come on. We're gonna miss the coach. 31 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,598 MICHAEL: Ha, ha, ha, ha, you forgot the baby. 32 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:16,199 Never mind that. Let's just get on bus. 33 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:17,993 Never mind never mind that. That's your grandson. 34 00:02:21,640 --> 00:02:25,190 Excuse me. You don't want to share a cab into Beni, do you? 35 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:27,516 - Beni? - Benidorm. 36 00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:30,712 - Ah, right. No. Sorry. - Oh right. You're on a package. 37 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:33,150 Hey, you couldn't sneak me and the wife onto your coach, could you? 38 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:35,635 We're not going to Benidorm, we're going to Altea. 39 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:36,875 Altea? 40 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:38,749 What, is that where you're having your holiday? 41 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:43,078 - Yes. Apparently it's beautiful. - Depends what you like. 42 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:45,669 You won't get an all-day English breakfast there, you know that? 43 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:47,632 Yes. We know. 44 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:50,115 - And there's no karaoke. - We know. 45 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:55,758 Yeah. Well, to be honest, there's hardly any English up there at all. 46 00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:57,598 They're all Spanish. 47 00:02:57,800 --> 00:02:59,438 - We know. - We know. 48 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:06,790 Mmm. 49 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:11,835 Ice cream tastes so much nicer when the sun's shining, don't it? 50 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:13,553 Yeah. Definitely. 51 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:20,436 I wonder how they do that. 52 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:23,519 (WOMAN WHOOPING) 53 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:29,511 (WHIMPERING) I'm gonna miss you so much, Mateo. 54 00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:32,871 Hey, come on. No tears. 55 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,276 You're going to miss your plane. 56 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:38,679 Call me tonight. 57 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:43,511 My sweet, my love, I will call you every night. 58 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,790 Come on. We're gonna be late. 59 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:48,599 Do you love me? 60 00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:53,312 Hey, come on, Lisa, 61 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:59,476 I think, deep down, you know the answer to that question. 62 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:02,079 I love you, too. 63 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:11,510 Go. 64 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:13,995 Go. 65 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:28,634 Come on, Mateo. It's change-over day today 66 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:30,910 and I want this bar spotless. 67 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:40,319 - Hola! - Hiya! 68 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:03,391 So that's up to the top, across the square, first on the right. 69 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:04,715 Gracias. 70 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:08,630 - Few steps, I'm afraid. - That's fine. 71 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:11,991 - It'll do us good to stretch our legs. - Yes, quite. 72 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:13,750 Oh! 73 00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:07,909 How long does it take to hire a bloody wheelchair? 74 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:09,474 I've bought houses in less time. 75 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:12,114 - When have you ever bought a house? - Monopoly. 76 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:14,151 It's a figure of speech. 77 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:18,550 Ay up, here he comes. Didsbury's answer to Julio Iglesias. 78 00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:23,113 If he mentions his five sunbed shops again, I'm gonna deck him. 79 00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:25,550 There you go, me darling, queen of the road. 80 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:28,911 Oh, thanks, Mel. You didn't have to, you know. 81 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:32,273 You do realise there are people here that might actually need a wheelchair. 82 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:35,313 You don't have to be a cripple to have a wheelchair. 83 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:37,750 I'm entitled to take it easy while I'm on holiday. 84 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:38,995 While you're on holiday? 85 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:42,078 You do nowt but sit on your bony arse the other 51 weeks of the year. 86 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:45,716 Maybe you should have had one of these when you were fiddling your disability. 87 00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:47,751 You might've got away with it then. 88 00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:50,998 It's funny. I've always dreamed of seeing you in an electric chair, Madge. 89 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:53,270 Unfortunately, this isn't exactly what I had in mind. 90 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:56,392 Do you think we could stop arguing for five minutes and get checked in? 91 00:06:56,520 --> 00:07:00,036 - I'd quite like to start my holiday. - Excuse me, Janice. 92 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:03,551 I paid for this holiday, I'll set the pace, thank you. 93 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,760 Slowly but surely, that's my motto. 94 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:12,117 I didn't set up five sunbed shops in the Greater Manchester area overnight. 95 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:15,471 Took me nearly six months. 96 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:18,314 What have your bloody sunbed shops got to do with this holiday? 97 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:22,479 - And what is that smell? - Mam, I think Coolio shat himself again. 98 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:24,716 No wonder he's out of control 99 00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:28,390 A teenage mother, a father from God knows where. 100 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:29,510 Oddly enough, mother, 101 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:32,951 babies tend to fill their nappies regardless of parentage. 102 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:36,550 - You are such a racist. - I am not a racialist. 103 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:40,674 we had a black fella living next door to us when we were down Lymington Garth. 104 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,029 He was no bother at all. 105 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:44,720 Yeah, and he was still three shades lighter than you. 106 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,478 Come here to your nana, poor angel. 107 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,159 (COOLIO WHINING) 108 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:50,237 Ooh, he is a bit whiffy, isn't he? 109 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:52,317 Right. Onward. 110 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:58,832 Mum, the baby stinks. It's stinging me eyes. 111 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:01,713 JANICE: Don't breathe, Michael. Don't breathe. 112 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:03,554 (BELL TOLLING) 113 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:24,959 (MARTIN PANTING) 114 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:00,830 Ah gracias! 115 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:15,591 - MICHAEL: Mam, I'm tired. - Nearly there. 116 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:17,393 - Telle, can you give me a piggy back? - CHANTELLE: Piss off. 117 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:19,397 Hey! Language, lady. 118 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:21,318 MEL: Hang on a minute. 119 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:26,996 - Is this it? - What do you mean, "Is this it"? 120 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:30,238 Well, is this the pool and are these the sunbeds? 121 00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:31,999 That big, round, wet thing's the pool 122 00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:33,679 and them blue and white things are the sunbeds. 123 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:36,076 - Sorry if it's confusing. - You know what I mean? 124 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:38,237 Is this the only pool, are these the only sunbeds? 125 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:41,557 - Yeah. Is there a point to any of this? - None of this is right. 126 00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:43,990 Mam, I have to change Coolio. I can't breathe. 127 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:45,315 Can we do this later, Mel? 128 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:49,035 Says in the brochure there's a diving board and a breakfast area. 129 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:51,151 - Mum, can I get in the pool? - Not yet, darling. 130 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:53,556 - Mum! - We've gonna have to get in these rooms. 131 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,796 Well, tell Judith bloody Chalmers that! 132 00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:58,196 Mel, we'll see you up there. Thank you, love. 133 00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:01,790 No, no, no. Hang on a minute. Where's the diving board? 134 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:04,434 If we've paid for a diving board, we should have one. 135 00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:05,630 He don't speak any English. 136 00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:06,989 How do you know he don't speak any English? 137 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:08,997 Because if he did he'd have answered you by now. 138 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:10,315 Now, come on! 139 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:12,511 - Come on, mam. - Can we get moving? 140 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:15,678 By God, that's a rough lot if ever I've seen one. 141 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:19,714 Look at the state of them. This place is going right down market. 142 00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:22,832 JANICE: We're trying to. What do you think we're trying to do? 143 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:24,519 Geez, it stinks. 144 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:28,278 Oh, it's that family that were here last year. 145 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:31,518 - Is it? - Yeah. Don't you remember? 146 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:34,598 Their little lad did a number two in the pool. 147 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:37,238 Hiya. You all right? 148 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:43,590 Looks like he couldn't wait to get in the pool this time. 149 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:47,794 Leave your cases here. I will have them sent up. 150 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:51,072 - Room 203. -203. Brilliant. 151 00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:53,517 - Muchos gracias. - De nada. 152 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:55,790 (BIRD CHIRPING) 153 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:58,992 It's a little rustic, but it has a certain charm, don't you think? 154 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:00,599 It's wonderful. 155 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:07,838 So I take it I'm forgiven for making you punch me in the face at Gatwick. 156 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:10,873 I didn't punch you, Martin. Don't exaggerate. 157 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:12,998 When you said we were flying to Alicante, 158 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:15,111 I just had a bit of a panic attack, that's all. 159 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:17,550 Here we are, well away from the horrors of Benidorm, 160 00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:20,354 but practically the same price. 161 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,756 What can I say? You're a genius. 162 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:27,953 Martin, Katie, what a lovely surprise! 163 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:32,960 Hola! 164 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:47,471 You lot didn't mind me and Madge taking the two-bed apartment, did you? 165 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:50,194 No. we've always dreamed of living in a one-bedroomed flat. 166 00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:52,197 Yeah, all five of us. 167 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:54,038 It's just that, naturally I want to be with Madge, 168 00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:56,595 but I can't expect her to share a bed with me, 169 00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:59,314 not until I've taken her up the aisle. 170 00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:02,349 (LAUGHING) Apparently, it only hurts the first time. 171 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:04,232 All right, thank you. 172 00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:06,153 Do you know, I've got five sunbed shops in... 173 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:08,032 Really? You should've mentioned it. 174 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:11,596 But, to be honest, nothing compares to the real thing. 175 00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:15,600 Right. I think I'll have a dip. 176 00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:18,109 Yeah. I might join you in a min... 177 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:24,393 - Jesus Christ! - Ugh! What is he wearing? 178 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:25,794 Are they supposed to go right up his crack 179 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:28,036 or is he just chewing cloth? 180 00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:30,115 BOTH: Whoa! 181 00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:33,790 Oh, my God! I'm not sitting next to him when he gets back. 182 00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:36,715 Oh, my guts are doing somersaults. 183 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:39,673 Hey, so are mine now, thanks to your fella. 184 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:48,516 I'm sorry. There seems to be a double booking. 185 00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:50,074 Well, could you give us another room, please? 186 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:53,750 - You can see my wife is very upset. - I'm not upset. I'm fine. 187 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:55,234 Can you just give us another room, please? 188 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:58,159 I'm sorry, the hotel is full it is fiesta. 189 00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:02,394 There is, how you say, much excitement in Altea today. 190 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:04,477 Yes. I think we saw that. 191 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:07,956 I can offer you a larger room in our sister hotel 192 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:09,593 - Only a few minutes away. - Brilliant. 193 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:10,755 Yes. That would be wonderful. 194 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:11,915 - Thank you. - Welcome. 195 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:13,360 Cabrillo! Cabrillo! 196 00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:15,994 There we go, sister hotel, panic over. 197 00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:18,754 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 198 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:33,512 - Martin! Katie! - Ah, I think we've missed them. 199 00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:37,520 - Excuse me, sir, are you residents? - Uh no. 200 00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:40,075 We've just been looking up an old friend. 201 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:44,239 He's very athletic. Can I call a taxi? 202 00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:50,392 Would you mind? No español. 203 00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:53,715 Hola! 204 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:56,515 Hola! 205 00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:00,358 (MICK AND JANICE LAUGHING) 206 00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:03,074 Will somebody tell me what's going on? 207 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,198 Pass us key up. I think he's done another one. 208 00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:06,640 Da-da. 209 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:10,513 Does anyone want owt from upstairs? 210 00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:13,280 Yeah, two gas masks and a pair of pants with an arse in them 211 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:15,596 for cheeky Charlie over there. 212 00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:19,835 - Well? - It's Mel, he's wearing... 213 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,712 Oh God! Mum! 214 00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:24,912 What is he wearing? What are you talking about? 215 00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:27,192 Grandad's pants go right up his bum. 216 00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:30,073 Hey, I've told you, he's not your grandad. 217 00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:37,994 He's as good as. He's done more for them kids 218 00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:39,952 in the three weeks I've known him than you ever have. 219 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:42,469 - Hey, I'm not having that. - Oh really? Do you think so? 220 00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:44,637 Well, at least I don't go parading up and down in front of them 221 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:48,879 - wearing women's knick... - Hello Mel, how's the pool? 222 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,877 Bit cold, to be honest. 223 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:54,240 Yeah. I can see that. 224 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:57,159 Here you are, Mel Get yourself covered up. You'll catch your death. 225 00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:59,157 What, in this heat? No. 226 00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:03,638 Just gonna point Percy at the porcelain, then another dip before lunch. 227 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:07,994 Oh, mother, you're gonna have to have a word. 228 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:09,474 Who's Percy? 229 00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:32,909 - No, I'm sorry. This can't be right. - Sí. Sister hotel 230 00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:39,511 I told you, you wouldn't like it. Welcome to paradise. 231 00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:46,435 Martin, Katie, we could've shared a cab after all. 232 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:50,519 - No matter, we'll get your bags. - I'll get four sunbeds. 233 00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:53,553 I need to get in that pool I'm red raw. 234 00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:00,516 See, what it is, your line of entry's all to cock. 235 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:04,110 -I noticed that from over there. - You're joking, arn't ya? 236 00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:07,278 I'm on the reserve team for high diving for 2012. 237 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,835 2012, what's that? Your neck and shoe size? 238 00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:12,713 No. 2012, the Olympics. 239 00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:15,354 I've got a classic swimmer's build, I have. 240 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:17,994 Just out of season, you know, with me training. 241 00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:22,114 I've lost me six-pack and everything. 242 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:25,073 Lost your six-pack? Lost your bloody mind, you mean. 243 00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:27,953 You're honestly trying to tell me you're on a diving team. 244 00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:29,832 Your body's meant to be straight when you enter the water. 245 00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:31,871 That were a bellyflop. 246 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:35,038 Yeah. That's because I haven't got the height. 247 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:38,996 I'm a finely-tuned athlete. I can't work under amateur conditions. 248 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:42,158 - Do you want your inhaler, son? - No. 249 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,280 Here, watch me. 250 00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:47,631 What about that thing that stops the water going up your nose? 251 00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:49,637 Mam, will you sit down? 252 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:53,390 There you go. 253 00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:56,399 You get yourself sat in the sun while Martin checks you in. 254 00:16:56,520 --> 00:17:00,434 I must admit, we were surprised to see you back here. 255 00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:05,909 If it were me who'd picked up that shite in the pool last year 256 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:08,270 I don't think I'd have come back. 257 00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:11,836 Ooh, I can be a bit queasy about things like that. 258 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:15,590 - Can't I, Donald? - Very sensitive woman, my Jacqueline. 259 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:20,710 No. I take my hat off to you. There's not many people I know 260 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:26,279 can stand waist-high in water looking at a floating poo. 261 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:30,155 - Shows real depth of character. - Oh, yes. 262 00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:31,634 Oh, and then there was all that bother 263 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:35,799 about you sleeping with the barman as well, wasn't there? 264 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:37,479 That's right. 265 00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:40,353 Well, I say sleeping with him, 266 00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:44,189 we heard it was only a quickie in the afternoon, 267 00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:46,755 but you know how people gossip. 268 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,799 Are you okay? 269 00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:51,880 - I feel slightly faint. - Oh, that'll be the heat. 270 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,274 Can we get you a drink? 271 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:56,916 They do a very good Harvey Floor Banger. Yeah. 272 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:04,429 - Is he all nice and changed? - Yeah. Do you want him? 273 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:06,915 Oh, come on. Come to your nana. 274 00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:11,079 Ooh, ooh, don't you smell gorgeous now. 275 00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:12,679 Make the most of it. It won't last long. 276 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,837 He's gonna be handsome bugger when he's older, isn't he? 277 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,234 - CHANTELLE: Of course, he is. - Yeah. 278 00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:18,271 Like grandfather, like son. 279 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:21,040 Let's hope he gets your modesty an'all. 280 00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:31,117 Michael, steady on with that burger. Nobody's gonna take it off you. 281 00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:32,560 I'm hungry. 282 00:18:36,120 --> 00:18:39,909 That fat lad's gonna have a coronary if he carries on diving in like that. 283 00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:41,030 We'll all have one if we have to 284 00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:44,391 look at your fancy man's saggy ass for much longer. 285 00:18:56,720 --> 00:19:01,078 No, no. Rubbish. I told you, point of entry, 286 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:05,353 your body should be at right angles to the water. Watch me. 287 00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:07,630 Well, I think if you've got an all-over tan, 288 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:09,876 you may as well show it off. 289 00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:12,515 Come on then, Madge, flop 'em out. 290 00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:18,553 (EXCLAIMS) 291 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:23,834 (SIGHS) 292 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,035 Mel? 293 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:31,797 Mel, are you all right? 294 00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:33,675 Mel! 295 00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:38,352 Oh my God. He's not coming back up. 296 00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:42,474 - He's not coming back up! - What's wrong? 297 00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:45,160 GEOFF: Well, he only went in. He's just not surfaced. 298 00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:46,953 (PEOPLE CLAMOURING) 299 00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:51,115 - What's going on? - He's not come up. 300 00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:55,390 - MADGE: What is it? What's wrong? - He went in at that bloody angle. 301 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:57,955 It were him, showing off his diving. 302 00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:00,959 You fat idiot, what were you playing at? 303 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:04,835 You've killed me husband before I've had chance to marry him! 304 00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:07,196 - Mel? - It's all right. Is he all right? 305 00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:09,231 - Mel! No! Mel! - There's no blood on him. 306 00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:10,839 He's not conscious. Mick, he's not conscious. 307 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:12,519 JANICE: Do you think he's banged his head on bottom? 308 00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:15,837 Have you got him, love? You've got him. Well done. 309 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:21,670 Oh my God! Somebody ring an ambulance. 310 00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:25,839 I think he'll be all right. It's only his big toe. 311 00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:28,349 Not for him, you silly cow. 312 00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:30,790 Oh, what's happened to his skin? Is he all right? 313 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:33,150 - Look at the colour of it. - He always looks like that. 314 00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:35,237 He's got five sunbed shops in Manchester. 315 00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:38,751 - Mam! Mam, Michael's choking! - Oh my God! Michael! 316 00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:42,839 Dear God, don't let him die. Don't let him die! 317 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:47,914 Up! Up! Up! 318 00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:51,072 Mick! Mick! 319 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:57,675 - Do something. - Mickl 320 00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:02,789 Dear God, please don't let him die! Don't let him die! 321 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:15,714 Hola! 322 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,276 Can I borrow your towel, please? 323 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:20,720 (SCREAMING) 324 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:27,149 Oh God! 325 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:34,836 Kate, it's okay. I'm coming. 326 00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:39,793 Come on, push. Push! 327 00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,070 You can do it. You can do it. 328 00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:47,438 Jesus Christ! 329 00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:50,473 And you didn't want to come back? Come on. 330 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:56,159 (PEOPLE CLAMOURING CONTINUES) 331 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,880 MARTIN: Kate! Kate! I'm coming! 332 00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:02,793 (KATE YELLING) 333 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:04,240 MARTIN: Take that! MATEO: Hey!