1
00:00:02,219 --> 00:00:05,213
Oh, baby, look whats in this box.
2
00:00:05,648 --> 00:00:08,366
It's all of Marty and Malcolm's
old school projects.
3
00:00:09,460 --> 00:00:11,539
I remember staying up all night
4
00:00:11,564 --> 00:00:13,492
helping Malcolm build this volcano.
5
00:00:13,517 --> 00:00:16,281
You know we even got spaghetti
sauce to shoot out the top?
6
00:00:16,412 --> 00:00:18,213
Aw, I remember.
7
00:00:18,246 --> 00:00:21,171
And Marty scraped it off the
walls with garlic bread.
8
00:00:22,004 --> 00:00:24,136
Those were some good
memories, weren't they?
9
00:00:24,161 --> 00:00:25,195
Yeah. Real good memories.
10
00:00:25,247 --> 00:00:26,800
Ah, its trash.
11
00:00:28,579 --> 00:00:30,681
How could you just throw that away?
12
00:00:30,706 --> 00:00:32,840
Those were some special
memories of Malcolm.
13
00:00:32,865 --> 00:00:34,133
Why we need memories?
14
00:00:34,158 --> 00:00:36,917
The real thing is laying
on our couch right now.
15
00:00:38,452 --> 00:00:39,717
Ha ha!
16
00:00:39,742 --> 00:00:41,761
Look at this, baby, my old beeper.
17
00:00:42,176 --> 00:00:44,604
You know, I remember when
you used to blow me up
18
00:00:44,629 --> 00:00:47,557
whenever you wanted a little
late-night booty call.
19
00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:49,947
I never had your beeper number.
20
00:00:51,822 --> 00:00:54,263
Well, look at that. You know what?
This ain't even my beeper.
21
00:00:54,938 --> 00:00:57,725
Trash. Yep. Lets go.
22
00:00:59,209 --> 00:01:01,312
Ooh, ahoy, Captain Calvin!
23
00:01:02,025 --> 00:01:03,230
Hey, Dave.
24
00:01:03,488 --> 00:01:05,066
Just getting my daily steps in.
25
00:01:05,091 --> 00:01:08,068
Well, you can get in a bunch
more if you just keep walking.
26
00:01:09,716 --> 00:01:12,906
You know, I am actually
a few steps short.
27
00:01:12,931 --> 00:01:14,199
Good.
28
00:01:14,224 --> 00:01:17,620
Uh, Dave, Dave, Dave, stop that.
29
00:01:17,644 --> 00:01:19,588
Your making me dizzy. Stop circling me.
30
00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:21,415
Yeah, no problem. I'll go the other way.
31
00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:25,419
Whoa.
32
00:01:25,444 --> 00:01:26,920
You throwing all this stuff out?
33
00:01:27,141 --> 00:01:29,089
Yeah, its just a bunch of trash.
34
00:01:29,167 --> 00:01:31,550
Well, maybe to you, but not to everyone.
35
00:01:31,575 --> 00:01:32,759
You know what?
36
00:01:32,784 --> 00:01:34,261
You should have a yard sale.
37
00:01:34,286 --> 00:01:35,262
A yard sale?
38
00:01:35,287 --> 00:01:37,097
In this neighborhood? I don't think so.
39
00:01:37,981 --> 00:01:39,456
Why, whats wrong with our neighborhood?
40
00:01:39,481 --> 00:01:41,924
Oh, nothing. Nothing. There's
a lot of good people here.
41
00:01:41,949 --> 00:01:44,503
You know, hardworking, God-fearing,
42
00:01:44,528 --> 00:01:46,357
and I wouldn't trust a
single one of them.
43
00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:49,518
And I don't want to waste my time
44
00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:51,088
with a bunch of people
trying to hustle me
45
00:01:51,113 --> 00:01:52,510
so I can make a few bucks.
46
00:01:52,675 --> 00:01:54,760
Hustle you? Oh, come on,
Calvin, that's crazy.
47
00:01:54,785 --> 00:01:57,201
Oh. You want to hear some crazy? Okay.
48
00:01:57,226 --> 00:01:58,619
You see that house down there?
49
00:01:58,644 --> 00:02:01,454
They claimed Malcolm and
Marty on their taxes
50
00:02:01,479 --> 00:02:02,957
six years straight.
51
00:02:04,549 --> 00:02:06,409
And see those wires hanging from there?
52
00:02:06,434 --> 00:02:09,605
That guy is stealing the
other family's cable.
53
00:02:09,885 --> 00:02:12,720
But they're running an illegal day care,
54
00:02:12,745 --> 00:02:14,300
so they cant say nothing about it.
55
00:02:14,975 --> 00:02:16,803
Oh, man, I thought that
was a beauty salon.
56
00:02:16,828 --> 00:02:18,304
Oh, yeah, they do that, too.
57
00:02:19,793 --> 00:02:20,707
Look, man,
58
00:02:20,732 --> 00:02:22,976
everybody around here's
just trying to get by.
59
00:02:23,219 --> 00:02:25,730
I just don't want them getting by on me.
60
00:02:25,985 --> 00:02:28,320
Well, I guess that's how you
and I are different, Calvin.
61
00:02:28,534 --> 00:02:30,763
I choose to believe that the
world isn't out to get me.
62
00:02:30,788 --> 00:02:32,863
Okay. You come see me
63
00:02:32,888 --> 00:02:35,739
once you find out Grover
cosigned for a motorcycle.
64
00:02:36,174 --> 00:02:38,074
Yard sale.
65
00:02:38,815 --> 00:02:41,579
All right, man. I will
tell you, you know,
66
00:02:41,886 --> 00:02:44,863
last yard sale I had, I
cleared a cool grand.
67
00:02:44,888 --> 00:02:46,332
Hold on, hold up.
68
00:02:47,619 --> 00:02:49,170
You made 1,000 bucks?
69
00:02:49,195 --> 00:02:50,196
Oh, yeah. That's right.
70
00:02:50,221 --> 00:02:51,881
Well, ahoy, Dave.
71
00:02:53,893 --> 00:02:56,844
Cause I know my craps got to
be worth more than your crap.
72
00:02:57,403 --> 00:02:58,812
I'm having me a yard sale.
73
00:02:58,837 --> 00:03:00,472
Well, you know, I'm happy to help out.
74
00:03:00,497 --> 00:03:01,726
Well, thank you.
75
00:03:01,751 --> 00:03:03,754
And in return, I'm gonna do you a solid.
76
00:03:04,023 --> 00:03:06,531
You see that extension cord
running from your attic window?
77
00:03:06,578 --> 00:03:07,401
Yeah.
78
00:03:07,426 --> 00:03:09,772
You're supplying the
power to the day care.
79
00:03:15,758 --> 00:03:19,000
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
80
00:03:19,108 --> 00:03:21,749
Ooh, this is gonna be great.
I cant wait to meet
81
00:03:21,750 --> 00:03:22,869
more of our neighbors.
82
00:03:23,007 --> 00:03:24,961
Me, neither. Especially the ones
83
00:03:24,986 --> 00:03:27,490
named Benjamin, Washington and Jackson.
84
00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:30,477
All right, Pop.
85
00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:32,726
Here you go. Good luck
with your yard sale, bro.
86
00:03:32,751 --> 00:03:34,718
Hold on, whoa. Where are you going?
87
00:03:34,743 --> 00:03:36,177
I was going to the library.
88
00:03:36,202 --> 00:03:39,115
Oh, no. No, you and Marty
are in charge of security.
89
00:03:39,140 --> 00:03:40,662
What?
90
00:03:41,201 --> 00:03:42,636
Well, whats it pay?
91
00:03:42,661 --> 00:03:44,058
Room and board.
92
00:03:46,039 --> 00:03:47,477
Fine, Ill start today.
93
00:03:47,504 --> 00:03:48,521
Do I get a weapon?
94
00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:49,872
Sure. Yeah.
95
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:51,029
Here's a whistle
96
00:03:51,054 --> 00:03:52,316
and a wooden spoon.
97
00:03:52,888 --> 00:03:54,610
Don't be afraid to use them.
98
00:03:54,637 --> 00:03:56,504
Oh, great, Pop. If a bowl of soup
99
00:03:56,529 --> 00:03:58,240
tries to steal something, I'm ready.
100
00:04:00,396 --> 00:04:03,222
Hey, you guys. We picked
you up some coffee
101
00:04:03,247 --> 00:04:05,005
and a dozen doughnuts.
102
00:04:05,191 --> 00:04:08,403
Uh, 9 3/4 doughnuts.
103
00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:10,340
See, I told you he was too quiet
104
00:04:10,365 --> 00:04:11,309
in the back of the car.
105
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:12,028
True.
106
00:04:12,053 --> 00:04:14,657
But way to use your fractions.
107
00:04:15,149 --> 00:04:16,590
Hey, hey, look what I found.
108
00:04:17,357 --> 00:04:18,525
A box full of kitchen gadgets
109
00:04:18,558 --> 00:04:19,960
from all those late-night infomercials.
110
00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:22,070
I remember that stuff.
111
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,309
Whenever that commercial said "act now,"
112
00:04:24,334 --> 00:04:25,766
your mama did.
113
00:04:26,566 --> 00:04:28,519
I had to. Supplies were limited.
114
00:04:28,583 --> 00:04:31,724
Marty, put all that stuff
on the dollar table.
115
00:04:31,749 --> 00:04:32,263
All right.
116
00:04:32,288 --> 00:04:33,983
Oh, no, no, no, no. Uh-uh-uh.
117
00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:35,743
You're not selling my infomercial stuff.
118
00:04:35,768 --> 00:04:37,580
Put that box back where you found it.
119
00:04:37,612 --> 00:04:38,196
Okay.
120
00:04:38,221 --> 00:04:39,018
Come on, Tina.
121
00:04:39,043 --> 00:04:40,778
You've never used any of this junk.
122
00:04:40,803 --> 00:04:41,831
Its not junk.
123
00:04:41,856 --> 00:04:43,196
And I haven't used any of it
124
00:04:43,221 --> 00:04:43,665
yet.
125
00:04:43,699 --> 00:04:44,690
Marty.
126
00:04:44,833 --> 00:04:45,690
Okay.
127
00:04:45,729 --> 00:04:46,721
Marty.
128
00:04:47,121 --> 00:04:48,289
Marty.
129
00:04:49,503 --> 00:04:51,124
Martin Lawrence Butler.
130
00:04:53,198 --> 00:04:54,659
Its not about you, its about them.
131
00:04:54,721 --> 00:04:55,744
Its not about you, its about them.
132
00:04:55,769 --> 00:04:56,838
Boy, give me this box!
133
00:04:57,119 --> 00:04:59,377
There's some good stuff in here.
134
00:04:59,409 --> 00:05:01,093
Like-like-like this thingy.
135
00:05:01,118 --> 00:05:03,074
Oh, my God, is that a Choppy Chopper?
136
00:05:03,099 --> 00:05:05,283
I've always wanted to try one of these.
137
00:05:05,414 --> 00:05:08,096
Finally someone who appreciates
my infomercial instincts.
138
00:05:08,355 --> 00:05:10,252
You never even tried it yourself.
139
00:05:10,277 --> 00:05:12,182
Well, that all changes today.
Lets go to my house
140
00:05:12,207 --> 00:05:13,942
and choppity-chop something.
141
00:05:14,019 --> 00:05:16,622
Okay, Gemma. Lets go.
142
00:05:16,780 --> 00:05:17,944
Don't wait up.
143
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:24,976
Well, enjoy that toaster, my man.
144
00:05:26,393 --> 00:05:28,494
Looks like somebody got some new teeth.
145
00:05:31,421 --> 00:05:32,550
Hey, Shanice.
146
00:05:32,575 --> 00:05:35,919
You know what, this will
make a great baby bassinet.
147
00:05:36,052 --> 00:05:39,005
You add a few bungee cords,
you got you a car seat.
148
00:05:39,765 --> 00:05:41,093
Throw some sandwiches in there,
149
00:05:41,118 --> 00:05:44,189
you going to a picnic. Hmm? Look.
150
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,534
Calvin, this is the best yard sale
151
00:05:47,559 --> 00:05:49,183
I have ever been to.
152
00:05:49,352 --> 00:05:51,310
I've met so many fantastic people.
153
00:05:51,335 --> 00:05:54,063
Did you know that Anita
was in the Peace Corps?
154
00:05:54,088 --> 00:05:56,670
Or that Mr. Dorsett just
retired from teaching
155
00:05:56,695 --> 00:05:58,496
after 50 years?
156
00:05:58,521 --> 00:06:00,056
A-And Germaine
157
00:06:00,081 --> 00:06:02,346
with the face tattoo? He
says if anybody asks,
158
00:06:02,371 --> 00:06:04,531
that he has been here all day.
159
00:06:09,569 --> 00:06:11,133
You know, I've actually been having
160
00:06:11,158 --> 00:06:12,064
a pretty good time, myself.
161
00:06:12,104 --> 00:06:12,715
Uh-huh.
162
00:06:12,755 --> 00:06:15,112
I sold everything on table two,
163
00:06:15,138 --> 00:06:17,016
and then I sold table two.
164
00:06:17,041 --> 00:06:19,342
Oh, oh, man! Well, whats your secret?
165
00:06:19,376 --> 00:06:20,658
Watch and learn.
166
00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:23,716
Hey, you know, just so you know,
167
00:06:24,069 --> 00:06:26,455
this grill used to belong to Tupac.
168
00:06:27,526 --> 00:06:30,028
Yeah, he made a hell of a rib eye.
169
00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:32,534
You know, one time he had a barbecue,
170
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:34,228
and he didn't invite Biggie, and...
171
00:06:34,270 --> 00:06:36,105
Well, you know the rest.
172
00:06:37,294 --> 00:06:38,815
Oh, okay.
173
00:06:40,415 --> 00:06:41,860
Ah!
174
00:06:43,991 --> 00:06:46,292
Calvin, what are you doing?
175
00:06:46,317 --> 00:06:48,242
You just lied to that guy for money.
176
00:06:48,267 --> 00:06:51,411
Well, yeah. I mean, I wouldn't
lie to him for no reason.
177
00:06:52,109 --> 00:06:54,123
That would be messed up.
178
00:06:56,292 --> 00:06:58,027
Uh, hey, Marty.
179
00:06:58,128 --> 00:07:00,586
What is with the sunglasses, bro?
180
00:07:00,812 --> 00:07:02,530
Its a little security trick I picked up
181
00:07:02,555 --> 00:07:04,024
so nobody can see where I'm looking.
182
00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:05,604
Right now I got my eye
on that guy over there
183
00:07:05,629 --> 00:07:07,593
licking the nine-volt batteries.
184
00:07:10,332 --> 00:07:11,877
You know, that's nothing.
185
00:07:11,902 --> 00:07:14,435
A minute ago he was licking
the sewing machine.
186
00:07:15,614 --> 00:07:17,449
Yeah, I better go shut that down.
187
00:07:17,708 --> 00:07:21,150
Hey, man! Store policy:
You lick it, you buy it.
188
00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:23,901
How you doing, Miss Simpson?
189
00:07:23,926 --> 00:07:25,877
Well, I'm still above ground, ain't I?
190
00:07:27,808 --> 00:07:30,617
Listen, how much y'all want
for this porcelain angel?
191
00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:34,221
Well, you know, there's a very
special story about this angel.
192
00:07:34,246 --> 00:07:34,871
When...
193
00:07:34,896 --> 00:07:36,165
Cut the crap.
194
00:07:37,839 --> 00:07:39,698
I'll give you three dollars for it.
195
00:07:39,723 --> 00:07:41,104
How about four dollars?
196
00:07:41,129 --> 00:07:42,462
How about two dollars?
197
00:07:43,362 --> 00:07:45,257
Okay. Fine, two dollars.
198
00:07:45,736 --> 00:07:48,052
Okay. Here's a dollar.
199
00:07:50,979 --> 00:07:53,307
You know this is a Canadian dollar.
200
00:07:56,797 --> 00:07:58,081
Oh, this is awesome.
201
00:07:58,660 --> 00:08:01,290
This is so much fun. What
else can we choppity-chop?
202
00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:03,384
Okay, we've done the fruits,
we've done the vegetables.
203
00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:04,658
Oh, wait, whats this?
204
00:08:04,683 --> 00:08:06,153
I chopped your kitchen sponge.
205
00:08:08,776 --> 00:08:11,251
I get it. Once you start,
you cant stoppity-stop.
206
00:08:12,565 --> 00:08:13,470
Lets try another gadget.
207
00:08:13,495 --> 00:08:14,096
Whats next?
208
00:08:14,121 --> 00:08:14,542
Okay.
209
00:08:14,567 --> 00:08:15,682
Depends upon what
you're in the mood for.
210
00:08:15,707 --> 00:08:16,136
Mm-hmm.
211
00:08:16,167 --> 00:08:18,814
Okay, we've got our
hard-boiled egg sheller.
212
00:08:18,839 --> 00:08:19,706
Oh.
213
00:08:19,731 --> 00:08:20,526
Or we have
214
00:08:20,551 --> 00:08:22,420
a bear claw meat shredder.
215
00:08:23,253 --> 00:08:25,690
And we have this thing that makes
216
00:08:25,698 --> 00:08:27,604
pancakes in the shapes of presidents.
217
00:08:29,964 --> 00:08:31,928
Oh, it only goes up to Reagan.
218
00:08:32,835 --> 00:08:34,331
Well, it was the 80s.
219
00:08:34,356 --> 00:08:36,057
You just throw a little
maple syrup on it,
220
00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:38,042
and boom! We got Obama. Huh?
221
00:08:40,165 --> 00:08:41,526
Cal! Calvin!
222
00:08:41,542 --> 00:08:43,464
You are not gonna believe this.
223
00:08:43,503 --> 00:08:44,525
What?
224
00:08:44,550 --> 00:08:46,579
I thought that one of your
statuettes looked familiar,
225
00:08:46,604 --> 00:08:47,971
so I went inside to go look it up
226
00:08:47,996 --> 00:08:50,697
in my guide to antique
dolls and figurines.
227
00:08:53,819 --> 00:08:56,941
Gemmas guide to antique
dolls and figurines.
228
00:08:56,966 --> 00:08:58,581
Look, the point is
229
00:08:58,606 --> 00:09:00,742
it is a genuine Montolfo
230
00:09:00,776 --> 00:09:03,651
worth $1,500.
231
00:09:03,676 --> 00:09:07,009
$1,500? Well, all right!
232
00:09:07,034 --> 00:09:08,088
Which one is it?
233
00:09:08,113 --> 00:09:08,440
Oh.
234
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:11,384
Here you go, look. Right there.
Its the porcelain angel.
235
00:09:11,892 --> 00:09:13,554
The porcelain angel?
236
00:09:15,414 --> 00:09:16,556
Ah!
237
00:09:17,321 --> 00:09:18,390
You were right.
238
00:09:18,415 --> 00:09:20,674
Your crap is way better than mine.
239
00:09:28,667 --> 00:09:33,047
You sold a $1,500 Montolfo angel
240
00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:34,907
for one dollar?
241
00:09:35,377 --> 00:09:37,201
A Canadian dollar.
242
00:09:38,017 --> 00:09:39,953
You see, Dave, this is exactly why
243
00:09:39,978 --> 00:09:41,581
I didn't want to do a yard sale.
244
00:09:41,606 --> 00:09:42,701
I didn't want to be hustled.
245
00:09:42,726 --> 00:09:44,862
She didn't hustle you. She
made an honest mistake.
246
00:09:44,887 --> 00:09:46,888
And I'm sure if we go
talk to Miss Simpson,
247
00:09:46,913 --> 00:09:48,882
shell give the angel back to you.
248
00:09:49,332 --> 00:09:52,307
If you believe that shes
gonna give me something back
249
00:09:52,332 --> 00:09:54,201
worth $1,500,
250
00:09:54,370 --> 00:09:57,347
then I've got Snoop Doggs
humidifier to sell you.
251
00:09:57,835 --> 00:10:00,767
Okay, well, you're never gonna
get it if you Don't try.
252
00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:03,478
Fine. Come on, man.
253
00:10:04,198 --> 00:10:05,855
Hey, boys, look,
254
00:10:06,215 --> 00:10:08,278
Dave and I are leaving,
so I'm promoting you
255
00:10:08,303 --> 00:10:10,072
from security to sales.
256
00:10:10,799 --> 00:10:12,909
You get to keep half
of whatever you sell.
257
00:10:12,934 --> 00:10:15,804
Wait, wait, wait, Pop. But all
the good stuff is gone, man.
258
00:10:15,829 --> 00:10:18,327
I know. That's why you're getting half.
259
00:10:18,850 --> 00:10:20,819
Malcolm!
260
00:10:20,844 --> 00:10:22,248
Congratulations, brother.
261
00:10:22,273 --> 00:10:23,363
Yeah, for what?
262
00:10:23,388 --> 00:10:25,792
Well, this is your first promotion.
263
00:10:26,266 --> 00:10:27,834
That's very funny.
264
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,339
You know, we should just throw
all this crap away, man.
265
00:10:30,364 --> 00:10:31,882
Nobody gonna buy any of it.
266
00:10:31,907 --> 00:10:35,178
Here's six dollars. I just
sold a broken cell phone.
267
00:10:35,203 --> 00:10:36,803
What? Wait, hey.
268
00:10:36,828 --> 00:10:38,013
How do you do that?
269
00:10:38,163 --> 00:10:41,141
I was just pretending to
talk to Batman on it.
270
00:10:41,594 --> 00:10:43,797
Some lady said I was cute and bought it.
271
00:10:43,822 --> 00:10:46,524
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Just because you were cute?
272
00:10:46,549 --> 00:10:48,105
I get that a lot.
273
00:10:50,020 --> 00:10:52,439
I cant believe it. All
of these TV gadgets
274
00:10:52,464 --> 00:10:54,642
actually worked the way
they were supposed to.
275
00:10:54,667 --> 00:10:55,573
I know.
276
00:10:55,598 --> 00:10:57,432
And Calvin was giving me a hard time.
277
00:10:57,605 --> 00:11:00,993
These things were worth every
easy payment of $19.99.
278
00:11:02,017 --> 00:11:03,997
But wait, there's more!
279
00:11:04,187 --> 00:11:07,258
These kitchen knives can filet a salmon,
280
00:11:07,424 --> 00:11:10,670
slice a soda can and even
cut through handcuffs.
281
00:11:11,194 --> 00:11:13,096
I wish I had known
that on Valentines Day
282
00:11:13,121 --> 00:11:14,926
when Calvin lost the key.
283
00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:19,346
Wait a minute. Do you smell smoke?
284
00:11:19,371 --> 00:11:20,729
Are the pancakes burning?
285
00:11:20,754 --> 00:11:22,690
Maybe we forgot to flip Nixon.
286
00:11:24,374 --> 00:11:27,144
No, no, no. Tricky Dick is looking good.
287
00:11:30,292 --> 00:11:32,964
Its my super slick,
non-stick panini press!
288
00:11:32,989 --> 00:11:33,794
Oh, oh, okay.
289
00:11:33,819 --> 00:11:34,626
Wait. Wait. Don't wet it.
290
00:11:34,651 --> 00:11:35,501
Don't wet it too much!
291
00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:38,041
Get out of the way. Okay.
292
00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:39,783
Hit it. Hit it.
293
00:11:45,503 --> 00:11:48,280
Thanks again for letting us
try these at your house.
294
00:11:50,596 --> 00:11:53,713
What am I gonna do with a
30-year-old fax machine?
295
00:11:54,473 --> 00:11:56,716
And is that beef jerky jammed in it?
296
00:11:57,259 --> 00:11:59,807
Oh, yeah.
297
00:11:59,891 --> 00:12:01,589
Oh. Well, I-I was six years old
298
00:12:01,614 --> 00:12:04,026
and I tried to fax it
to my brother at camp.
299
00:12:05,783 --> 00:12:08,311
Uh, you know, hey, I'm
sorry, little guy.
300
00:12:08,443 --> 00:12:10,979
Looks like you're gonna have to
wait just a little while longer
301
00:12:11,004 --> 00:12:13,066
to get those, um, eyeglasses.
302
00:12:13,851 --> 00:12:16,194
Yeah, man, the headaches
should go away soon.
303
00:12:17,135 --> 00:12:19,572
Its okay. I understand.
304
00:12:21,428 --> 00:12:24,453
Oh, no. Oh. No. No.
305
00:12:24,836 --> 00:12:26,580
Excuse me, sir.
306
00:12:29,323 --> 00:12:30,558
Here's a ten.
307
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:31,971
Get that boy some glasses.
308
00:12:31,996 --> 00:12:33,159
Yes, ma'am.
309
00:12:33,184 --> 00:12:33,854
Bless you.
310
00:12:33,879 --> 00:12:35,505
Bless you.
God bless you.
311
00:12:36,127 --> 00:12:37,295
How was that?
312
00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:39,056
That was perfect. Give me some.
313
00:12:39,081 --> 00:12:42,762
Yes. Now, how do we unload
this one Rollerblade?
314
00:12:42,787 --> 00:12:44,930
Huh. Oh, hey, can you cry on cue?
315
00:12:44,955 --> 00:12:47,892
What do you think?
316
00:12:50,148 --> 00:12:51,831
Oh-ho, I think we gonna get paid.
317
00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:55,157
I have to tell you, Miss Simpson,
318
00:12:55,182 --> 00:12:56,443
you have a lovely home.
319
00:12:56,468 --> 00:12:57,443
Yes.
320
00:12:57,468 --> 00:12:59,528
Love the plastic on the couch.
321
00:13:01,090 --> 00:13:02,948
No crumbs in your cracks.
322
00:13:05,268 --> 00:13:06,936
You have to forgive him.
323
00:13:06,961 --> 00:13:09,873
This is only the second
black home hes been in.
324
00:13:11,098 --> 00:13:13,126
The first one didn't want him either.
325
00:13:13,895 --> 00:13:16,096
So, actually, were here
because Calvin has
326
00:13:16,121 --> 00:13:18,674
something to tell you about the
angel that you bought from him.
327
00:13:18,699 --> 00:13:20,033
Isn't that right, Calvin?
328
00:13:20,302 --> 00:13:21,717
Well, spit it out.
329
00:13:21,742 --> 00:13:24,553
Unless you got something
else to say about my cracks.
330
00:13:27,348 --> 00:13:29,308
Oh, oh. Okay.
331
00:13:30,034 --> 00:13:33,854
Um... now, I'm gonna
be straight with you.
332
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:37,316
When I first sold you
that angel figurine,
333
00:13:37,341 --> 00:13:39,698
I didn't realize how valuable
334
00:13:39,723 --> 00:13:40,987
it is...
335
00:13:41,012 --> 00:13:44,950
to... our family, and no one else.
336
00:13:46,535 --> 00:13:47,573
Really, Calvin?
337
00:13:47,598 --> 00:13:48,323
Yes.
338
00:13:48,348 --> 00:13:51,319
It-it was given to my grandfather
339
00:13:51,344 --> 00:13:52,778
by a cranky old white lady
340
00:13:52,803 --> 00:13:55,273
he used to drive around down south.
341
00:13:55,436 --> 00:13:57,805
Now, she was a real piece of work.
342
00:13:58,221 --> 00:13:59,782
She was...
343
00:14:00,042 --> 00:14:02,676
but they grew to respect
each other in the end.
344
00:14:04,627 --> 00:14:07,965
That sounds just like that
movie Driving Miss Daisy.
345
00:14:08,764 --> 00:14:10,116
Really?
346
00:14:10,149 --> 00:14:11,784
I never seen it.
347
00:14:13,066 --> 00:14:15,369
At any rate, I'm, uh...
348
00:14:15,910 --> 00:14:18,354
I'm willing to buy the angel back...
349
00:14:18,466 --> 00:14:19,667
for $20.
350
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:23,369
$20? Good. I'll get it for you.
351
00:14:23,394 --> 00:14:24,828
Okay.
352
00:14:26,107 --> 00:14:27,275
Good.
353
00:14:27,661 --> 00:14:30,046
I cannot believe that you lied to her.
354
00:14:30,071 --> 00:14:33,207
I know. I've seen that
movie, like, three times.
355
00:14:35,478 --> 00:14:37,962
Okay, so Dad gets half.
356
00:14:38,101 --> 00:14:41,510
Which means we get to split the rest.
357
00:14:41,543 --> 00:14:44,679
This is not a bad Saturday.
358
00:14:44,962 --> 00:14:47,387
I mean, I can almost pay
Mom and Dad some rent.
359
00:14:47,412 --> 00:14:49,222
I'm not.
360
00:14:49,958 --> 00:14:51,057
But I could.
361
00:14:51,798 --> 00:14:53,970
And, Grover, here is a whole
362
00:14:53,995 --> 00:14:54,846
ten dollars.
363
00:14:54,871 --> 00:14:56,253
Yeah, hey, little man,
364
00:14:56,299 --> 00:14:58,151
we could not have done this without you.
365
00:14:58,176 --> 00:14:58,979
Yeah.
366
00:14:59,129 --> 00:15:02,027
I know, which is why I want more.
367
00:15:02,730 --> 00:15:04,064
Uh, more?
368
00:15:04,089 --> 00:15:05,518
Yeah, like, how much more?
369
00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:07,448
Uh, 50 sounds good.
370
00:15:07,473 --> 00:15:09,743
What? Are you out of
your rabbit-ass mind?!
371
00:15:10,258 --> 00:15:12,479
I sold everything you told me to.
372
00:15:12,659 --> 00:15:16,393
I even let those old ladies mess
my hair and pinch my cheeks.
373
00:15:16,418 --> 00:15:18,321
And you think that's worth $50?
374
00:15:18,492 --> 00:15:20,000
I pretended to be
375
00:15:20,034 --> 00:15:20,612
blind
376
00:15:20,637 --> 00:15:21,921
for you.
377
00:15:23,057 --> 00:15:24,799
Malcolm, pay the boy.
378
00:15:26,594 --> 00:15:27,762
Nice try.
379
00:15:28,143 --> 00:15:29,432
This ones Canadian.
380
00:15:32,198 --> 00:15:34,323
Well, that was one hell of a mess.
381
00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:35,815
Oh, you should have tried cleaning it up
382
00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:38,063
with the super-absorbent Sponge-O-Matic.
383
00:15:38,302 --> 00:15:40,479
I did, but after one
minute it started to burn.
384
00:15:40,504 --> 00:15:42,191
I think my thumbprints are gone.
385
00:15:42,216 --> 00:15:44,714
Ugh. You know,
386
00:15:44,739 --> 00:15:46,755
I hate to say it, but Calvin was right.
387
00:15:46,909 --> 00:15:48,886
I Don't know why I was
so determined to hold on
388
00:15:48,911 --> 00:15:49,986
to all that junk.
389
00:15:50,011 --> 00:15:51,575
Don't beat yourself up about it.
390
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:54,119
You're not the only one
who holds on to stuff.
391
00:15:54,733 --> 00:15:57,123
Damn, that's one ugly-ass baby!
392
00:15:58,631 --> 00:16:00,793
Hey, that's Grover.
393
00:16:03,018 --> 00:16:05,986
I paid an artist on Etsy
to capture him on a plate.
394
00:16:06,011 --> 00:16:08,425
You actually spent money
on a Grover plate?
395
00:16:08,450 --> 00:16:11,598
No. I spent money on a complete set
396
00:16:11,630 --> 00:16:13,202
of Grover plates.
397
00:16:13,895 --> 00:16:16,184
Oh, Gemma, these are
398
00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:17,310
bad.
399
00:16:17,575 --> 00:16:18,763
I mean, these are really bad.
400
00:16:18,788 --> 00:16:20,272
Yeah, I know.
401
00:16:21,001 --> 00:16:23,298
Well, you know what its
like when you're a new mom.
402
00:16:23,330 --> 00:16:24,388
You're sleep-deprived.
403
00:16:24,413 --> 00:16:26,708
I would just order stuff
on Etsy and eBay.
404
00:16:26,733 --> 00:16:29,268
Yeah, I bought all that stuff
off those infomercials
405
00:16:29,293 --> 00:16:31,598
doing my late-night
feedings with my boys.
406
00:16:31,623 --> 00:16:33,575
Oh, man, those first few
months were so brutal.
407
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:34,132
Ugh.
408
00:16:34,157 --> 00:16:36,145
I was exhausted all the time.
409
00:16:36,170 --> 00:16:37,583
Constantly changing diapers.
410
00:16:37,608 --> 00:16:39,310
Covered in spit-up.
411
00:16:39,335 --> 00:16:40,834
It never stopped.
412
00:16:40,859 --> 00:16:42,583
I am so glad that's all behind me.
413
00:16:42,608 --> 00:16:44,146
So am I.
414
00:16:44,588 --> 00:16:45,982
But, God, I miss it.
415
00:16:46,007 --> 00:16:47,340
Me, too.
416
00:16:48,288 --> 00:16:51,606
He may have looked like this,
but he smelled like heaven.
417
00:16:51,631 --> 00:16:53,131
Oh... And I miss
418
00:16:53,156 --> 00:16:55,682
Marty and Malcolms little toes. Oh...
419
00:16:55,707 --> 00:16:57,497
Now they just have big, smelly man feet.
420
00:16:57,522 --> 00:16:58,623
Mm.
421
00:16:59,611 --> 00:17:01,021
You know,
422
00:17:01,046 --> 00:17:03,549
maybe I kept all that kitchen
crap because it connects me
423
00:17:03,574 --> 00:17:04,974
to when the boys were little.
424
00:17:05,118 --> 00:17:07,177
Maybe that's why I cant
bring myself to get rid of
425
00:17:07,202 --> 00:17:08,903
these ceramic nightmares.
426
00:17:10,454 --> 00:17:11,947
Whats up, ladies?
427
00:17:13,975 --> 00:17:16,888
Anyone wanna see me make it rain?
428
00:17:17,636 --> 00:17:19,325
Grover!
429
00:17:19,574 --> 00:17:20,379
What...?
430
00:17:20,404 --> 00:17:21,740
Oh, no.
431
00:17:22,738 --> 00:17:24,013
You know what?
432
00:17:24,059 --> 00:17:25,591
You might want to have another one
433
00:17:25,616 --> 00:17:27,546
just in case that one goes bad.
434
00:17:30,819 --> 00:17:33,053
I see you looking at me, Dave.
435
00:17:33,963 --> 00:17:35,665
And its not gonna work.
436
00:17:35,690 --> 00:17:37,723
I've already forgiven me.
437
00:17:40,986 --> 00:17:43,054
You know what, Calvin, you were right.
438
00:17:43,079 --> 00:17:46,650
This neighborhood is full
of scammers and slicksters.
439
00:17:46,744 --> 00:17:49,068
And I'm looking at the
biggest one right now.
440
00:17:49,957 --> 00:17:51,988
I'm sorry, did you say something?
441
00:17:53,142 --> 00:17:56,910
I was already spending my
angel money in my head.
442
00:17:58,465 --> 00:18:01,246
Well, you know, since I'm a
part of this neighborhood now,
443
00:18:01,410 --> 00:18:03,625
I'm gonna get in on the action.
444
00:18:06,548 --> 00:18:07,920
What are you doing?
445
00:18:07,945 --> 00:18:11,768
I'm stealing from her,
like I learned from you.
446
00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:15,096
Come on, man, put it back.
447
00:18:15,121 --> 00:18:17,056
No. You know what, as a matter of fact,
448
00:18:17,587 --> 00:18:19,311
I'm taking this remote control, too.
449
00:18:19,336 --> 00:18:22,102
Have fun standing up to change
your channels, old lady.
450
00:18:23,122 --> 00:18:24,923
Look, stop playing, man.
451
00:18:24,948 --> 00:18:26,689
Old ladies keep guns.
452
00:18:27,285 --> 00:18:29,609
Give it here. Hey...
453
00:18:30,217 --> 00:18:32,319
What the hell are y'all doing?
454
00:18:33,884 --> 00:18:35,461
Oh, nothing.
455
00:18:35,486 --> 00:18:37,241
Whats that in your pocket?
456
00:18:39,435 --> 00:18:40,829
Nothing.
457
00:18:41,525 --> 00:18:43,622
Are you trying to steal from me?
458
00:18:43,777 --> 00:18:47,014
That's it, I'm calling
my grandson Jay-Bo.
459
00:18:48,666 --> 00:18:50,505
Hes only got one strike.
460
00:18:51,347 --> 00:18:53,253
Whoa.
461
00:18:53,278 --> 00:18:54,362
Please, please Don't do that.
462
00:18:54,387 --> 00:18:58,565
Look, he was only trying to
get me to do the right thing
463
00:18:58,590 --> 00:19:01,807
and tell you that that angel...
464
00:19:02,013 --> 00:19:05,252
was a valuable antique worth $1,500.
465
00:19:05,761 --> 00:19:09,148
Yes, and he has seen Driving Miss Daisy.
466
00:19:10,628 --> 00:19:12,861
$1,500?
467
00:19:13,138 --> 00:19:16,916
Yeah. Look, sorry for not
being up front with you,
468
00:19:16,941 --> 00:19:20,326
but... seeing that I have now,
469
00:19:20,351 --> 00:19:22,494
because I'm a good person,
470
00:19:24,392 --> 00:19:25,859
what do you say we split it?
471
00:19:26,136 --> 00:19:29,043
Well, $750 is a lot of money.
472
00:19:29,068 --> 00:19:30,557
It sure is.
473
00:19:30,582 --> 00:19:32,484
Now, would you see that.
474
00:19:32,601 --> 00:19:33,909
When you give people the chance...
475
00:19:33,934 --> 00:19:37,300
But $1,500 is a lot more.
476
00:19:39,852 --> 00:19:41,487
Now, y'all get up out of here.
477
00:19:41,512 --> 00:19:42,580
What?
What?
478
00:19:42,614 --> 00:19:43,992
You heard me, beat it.
479
00:19:44,017 --> 00:19:46,581
But, Miss Simpson, he
just told you the truth.
480
00:19:46,606 --> 00:19:48,774
I know, and that's why I'm giving you
481
00:19:48,799 --> 00:19:51,935
a five-second head start
before I get my pistol.
482
00:19:53,106 --> 00:19:54,759
Okay, hold... But, Miss Simpson,
483
00:19:54,784 --> 00:19:55,222
I think...
484
00:19:55,247 --> 00:19:57,260
Four, three...
485
00:19:57,285 --> 00:20:00,324
Okay, Dave, lets go. Go, go, go, go, go!
486
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:09,501
I feel like a fool.
487
00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:11,377
I'm listening.
488
00:20:12,496 --> 00:20:14,398
I honestly thought if
we told her the truth,
489
00:20:14,423 --> 00:20:16,257
that she would do the right thing.
490
00:20:16,782 --> 00:20:18,917
Well, actually, she did
do the right thing.
491
00:20:18,942 --> 00:20:20,587
I mean, in this neighborhood,
492
00:20:20,627 --> 00:20:22,619
a five-second head start is
493
00:20:22,644 --> 00:20:23,120
very
494
00:20:23,145 --> 00:20:24,557
generous.
495
00:20:25,142 --> 00:20:27,159
Well, you know, maybe she
really needed the money.
496
00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:29,729
For medicine, food, rent.
497
00:20:30,035 --> 00:20:31,709
Keep dreaming, Dave.
498
00:20:31,734 --> 00:20:32,964
Because come Sunday,
499
00:20:32,989 --> 00:20:35,193
she is on a church bus to Vegas.
500
00:20:36,461 --> 00:20:40,065
Well, you know, in that
case, I Don't feel so bad.
501
00:20:40,090 --> 00:20:41,524
About what?
502
00:20:43,039 --> 00:20:44,812
I still got her clock.
503
00:20:46,659 --> 00:20:47,978
Well, give it here,
504
00:20:48,003 --> 00:20:50,440
because I paid $1,500 for this thing.
505
00:20:51,215 --> 00:20:52,650
Yo, man!
506
00:20:52,684 --> 00:20:54,671
You got my grandmas clock!
507
00:20:54,828 --> 00:20:56,053
Jay-Bo?
508
00:20:56,231 --> 00:21:00,097
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -