1
00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:06,160
I didn't plan for this...

2
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:08,400
... this wasn't the life I chose...

3
00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:10,640
if you had told me 3 weeks ago

4
00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:12,160
that I'd be in the middle of nowhere

5
00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:14,400
digging a fucking grave, I would have

6
00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:16,080
laughed in your face and said you need

7
00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:17,400
to see a psychiatrist,

8
00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:20,480
Fucking hell Jack hurry up will you,
it's me mum's birthday tonight

9
00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:21,880
if we're not there on time Don's

10
00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:23,120
going to fucking kill me.

11
00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:25,160
Fuck you Danny why aren't
you getting in and help!

12
00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:28,000
Well you bent it, you mend it,
plus I don't want to fuck up

13
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,080
me new trainers they cost me 600 Quid.

14
00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:31,960
Just cuz they cost 600 Quid doesn't mean

15
00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,960
you paid 600 Quid.
What's that supposed to mean?

16
00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:35,360
Means you nicked them.

17
00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:37,880
I did not nick these trainers,
I got someone else

18
00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:39,160
to nick them for me.

19
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:42,160
Oh yeah of course you did, cuz there's
always someone else in't there Dan.

20
00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:44,600
Oh don't start crying about it,
listen this ain't the movies

21
00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:46,480
mate, you ain't acting now,
this is real life.

22
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,400
I'll never be in the movies now will I!

23
00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:51,600
Shh calm down, stop fucking
crying and just dig will ya.

24
00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:54,320
I'm a good person Dan,

25
00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:56,920
I'm not a gangsta!

26
00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:59,600
Just dig the fucking hole mate.

27
00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:03,440
Danny and I go back a long way.

28
00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:07,400
Mate, what about this?
Leave it it ain't worth nothing,

29
00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:09,000
come on grab a box let's go.

30
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,480
Infact we grew up together,

31
00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:13,560
we were inseparable, even as young kids

32
00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:15,440
we both knew what we wanted
out of life,

33
00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:17,240
not the usual shoppy kid stuff,

34
00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:20,360
like wanting to be a fireman
or a Spaceman or a Superhero,

35
00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:23,040
we never want to
be anything like that,

36
00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:24,960
we just wanted to be rich and

37
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,800
powerful, we just wanted to be

38
00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:28,040
gangsters.

39
00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:30,360
See you got the pram.
Yes mate.

40
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,400
Where'd you get it?
Nicked it from the supermarket.

41
00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:36,120
What are you doing
standing there Jack,

42
00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:38,360
put the boxes in the pram.

43
00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:40,640
He can't.
What do you mean he can't?

44
00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:41,840
He might hurt the baby.

45
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,080
What!

46
00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:47,560
How are we going to shift the boxes?

47
00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:49,800
Shift the boxes, shift the bloody boxes,

48
00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:51,840
We're all going to
get done for kidnapping!

49
00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:53,680
Don't shout man,
you'll fighten the baby.

50
00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:56,080
Ahhh!

51
00:04:56,280 --> 00:04:58,400
See I told you.

52
00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:00,240
Just take it back where you found it,

53
00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:02,280
we'll come back later for the stuff.

54
00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:04,520
Oh no you won't!

55
00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:11,160
Even as kids, Danny knew how to

56
00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:13,200
push buttons on people
and make'em do things

57
00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,200
they didn't particularly want to do.

58
00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:16,440
Wow!
See I told you.

59
00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:19,320
Now that's what
I call a Fanny Magnet.

60
00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:22,760
As a kid I had a fascination for cars,

61
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:25,280
still after this day, and Danny knew it.

62
00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:29,320
'Ear look at the dashboard.
Yeah Chrome and leather.

63
00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:31,640
Look closer some idiots'
left his keys in it,

64
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,320
fancy a spin?
No.

65
00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:35,640
Come on your dad
let you drive his van

66
00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:37,080
it can't be that much different.

67
00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:38,480
Please don't listen to him Jack,

68
00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:39,960
we can get in a lot of trouble.

69
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,400
No I told you I'm not doing it this
time.

70
00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:44,720
Oh you're a coward, you
wait till I tell everyone.

71
00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:46,480
He's like the devil
on your shoulder Jack,

72
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,040
resist temptation, remember

73
00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:49,880
what happen to
you in the girl's toilets.

74
00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:54,560
I told you I'm not doing it.

75
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:57,080
Just do it, just turn the key
it ain't going to kill ya!

76
00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:58,640
Don't listen to him Jack he'll

77
00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:00,200
get us in trouble again.

78
00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:03,120
Hey Jack, ain't that the sort you like?
Which one?

79
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:06,040
The one with the big milkers.
Oh Gina?

80
00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:08,680
Yeah that's the one, start a car Jack.

81
00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:10,960
Oh fuck this I knew it.

82
00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:13,960
Oi Gina, fancy a spin?

83
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,160
Jog on little boy!
You're loss ladies.

84
00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:19,600
Pull away Jack before
we look like mugs.

85
00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:25,600
The policeman battered the fuck

86
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,000
out of us for that little venture,

87
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:30,800
grown men punching and
kicking 12year old kids

88
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:32,680
rather than teach us a lesson, it just

89
00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:34,720
fed our hatred for authority.

90
00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:37,560
Don they're free to go,

91
00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:39,160
no charges are being pressed.

92
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:41,680
Yeah too fucking right they are,
fucking,

93
00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:44,440
look at the state of his face,
fucking hell who did this

94
00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:47,520
to them mate?
I'll deal with it, leave it with me,

95
00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:48,600
it's bang out of order.

96
00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:52,880
You fucking better deal
with it otherwise I will.

97
00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:54,560
Boys!

98
00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:57,200
Sorry Uncle Dom.
Sorry.

99
00:06:57,240 --> 00:07:00,120
What am I going
to do with you lot? eh!

100
00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:02,320
Sorry Uncle Don.
Sorry.

101
00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:04,840
Fancy a Wimpy?

102
00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:06,760
Yeah, yeah.
Let's go.

103
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:10,200
I used to like Danny's Uncle Don,
back then I had no idea

104
00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:11,760
that he was a much feared

105
00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:13,360
head of a crime family,

106
00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:14,840
I just thought he was a nice guy.

107
00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:20,800
Danny had a sort of mentor called Ray,

108
00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:23,200
Don's brother, he
was a proper gangster

109
00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:26,320
and to be quite honest
a bit of a nutcase.

110
00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:28,880
I'm not too sure about this Dan.

111
00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:31,200
You coming or aint you got the bollocks.

112
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:39,240
I can't see a thing in here, Marmite

113
00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:40,360
put that torch on.

114
00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:41,880
I didn't bring it with me.

115
00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:44,960
You what?
The batteries were flat,

116
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,400
I bought this instead.

117
00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:48,120
What the fuck's that?

118
00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:50,840
All the shops were shut,
it's better than nothing

119
00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:52,440
anyone got a light?

120
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:54,840
If you don't sort your fucking

121
00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:57,040
power out, I'm going to
shove that candle

122
00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:58,560
up his ass.
Alright!

123
00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:00,960
Ow! ooh!

124
00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:04,280
oh oh I banged my shin on something,

125
00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:06,720
it looks like an old bomb.
Yeah hold that.

126
00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:09,280
Fuck off, I'm not holding that!
What if it blows up!

127
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:11,240
Be careful.

128
00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:12,560
What's this?

129
00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:15,840
Hurry up Chop Chop.. COME ON.

130
00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:17,520
Ahh!

131
00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:19,360
Stop fucking hitting it, it'll go off!

132
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,480
Get on with it Marmite come on.

133
00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:23,240
Leave it alone, it's
going to fucking blow!

134
00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:24,760
Someone take that thing from him!

135
00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:27,160
Don't worry about the
bomb, worry about me.

136
00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:28,240
Take it out of his hand.

137
00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:33,321
I told you,
I told you not to do it!

138
00:08:33,321 --> 00:08:36,601
Fuck this... fucking hell!

139
00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:41,561
I said be careful.
Oh fucking hell, oh I'm all burnt.

140
00:08:42,161 --> 00:08:44,281
Come on Jack you've got
nothing to worry about mate,

141
00:08:44,321 --> 00:08:45,681
how many years do we go back?

142
00:08:45,721 --> 00:08:47,241
I love you man, I got your back.

143
00:08:47,281 --> 00:08:49,441
I'd never put you in a
position where you'd get hurt.

144
00:08:49,481 --> 00:08:51,441
Having lost my appetite
for the underworld,

145
00:08:51,481 --> 00:08:53,561
after blowing up half of
Chislehurst high street,

146
00:08:54,001 --> 00:08:56,121
I let Danny talk me
into a new career path.

147
00:08:56,601 --> 00:08:58,681
We found a hidden talent in
you and we're going to

148
00:08:58,721 --> 00:09:00,241
make millions out of it.

149
00:09:00,521 --> 00:09:02,241
Yeah just think about the money,

150
00:09:02,321 --> 00:09:04,641
if we win this, it's 100 quid mate.

151
00:09:04,681 --> 00:09:06,881
Danny... we're on.

152
00:09:08,121 --> 00:09:09,641
Get up, listen to me,

153
00:09:09,681 --> 00:09:11,321
- what are we gonna do Jack?
- Win.

154
00:09:11,321 --> 00:09:13,401
- Jack what we gonna do mate?
- Win!

155
00:09:13,401 --> 00:09:15,121
Come on Jack, what we gonna do?

156
00:09:15,161 --> 00:09:16,481
WINNN!

157
00:09:16,561 --> 00:09:19,401
Ladies and gentlemen
the bet you've been waiting for,

158
00:09:19,441 --> 00:09:22,041
the main event of the evening,

159
00:09:22,161 --> 00:09:25,601
Carnage in ....

160
00:09:25,601 --> 00:09:27,121
Come on Jack mate, we got this,

161
00:09:27,161 --> 00:09:29,361
remember what I taught you,
yeah jab, jab...

162
00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:31,761
and when the time's right, good right.

163
00:09:38,841 --> 00:09:40,641
He's fucking massive!

164
00:09:49,121 --> 00:09:50,121
Your fucking dead.

165
00:09:50,281 --> 00:09:53,721
Don't worry about that, the bigger they
are, the harder they fall, go on Jack.

166
00:09:54,161 --> 00:09:56,761
Ladies and Gentlemen
let's hear it for

167
00:09:56,801 --> 00:09:58,961
the Red Corner, on his debut fight,

168
00:09:59,201 --> 00:10:04,001
Jack... Light's Out... Smith!

169
00:10:05,721 --> 00:10:07,481
And in the blue Corner,

170
00:10:07,521 --> 00:10:13,041
The undefeated champion,
Mickey Grave Digger Grant.

171
00:10:13,041 --> 00:10:15,161
He's bigger!
Fucking hell!

172
00:10:16,081 --> 00:10:17,761
Right guys I want a

173
00:10:17,761 --> 00:10:19,641
good clean fight, no
fucking biting ears off

174
00:10:19,681 --> 00:10:20,801
like last time, you hear me.

175
00:10:20,841 --> 00:10:21,881
Ears off?

176
00:10:21,881 --> 00:10:23,361
Fight!

177
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:27,641
Come on Jack, take
his head off Jack.

178
00:10:29,241 --> 00:10:30,801
Go on Jack bash him up!

179
00:10:31,721 --> 00:10:33,601
Footwork Jack, footwork.

180
00:10:35,961 --> 00:10:37,561
You're looking good keep moving.

181
00:10:38,281 --> 00:10:40,961
That's it... bit closer.

182
00:10:43,321 --> 00:10:44,881
Fucking get on with it.

183
00:10:44,921 --> 00:10:46,241
Ahhh!

184
00:10:46,281 --> 00:10:47,961
Better hurry up to do something

185
00:10:48,001 --> 00:10:49,721
before they do us!

186
00:10:58,761 --> 00:11:00,681
I always thought that
boxing was one

187
00:11:00,721 --> 00:11:03,041
of the oldest, most noble
professions in the world.

188
00:11:03,881 --> 00:11:05,241
I couldn't wait to give it a go,

189
00:11:11,201 --> 00:11:13,601
Somebody throw the towel in!

190
00:11:13,601 --> 00:11:15,361
Come on it's embarrassing.

191
00:11:15,401 --> 00:11:17,881
That day I learned one
of life's big lessons,

192
00:11:17,921 --> 00:11:20,841
but I was no Tyson Fury,
thinking back...

193
00:11:20,841 --> 00:11:22,521
Don't be a wuss!
... Britany Spears could

194
00:11:22,561 --> 00:11:23,601
have done a better job.

195
00:11:24,721 --> 00:11:26,161
Put it on him Jack put it on him!

196
00:11:26,881 --> 00:11:29,281
Arghh!

197
00:11:53,681 --> 00:11:55,561
Jack,
Jack come on, wake up mate .

198
00:11:55,601 --> 00:11:56,921
Don't leave us.

199
00:11:56,921 --> 00:11:57,921
Jack!

200
00:11:58,721 --> 00:12:00,441
The ambulance is on its way.

201
00:12:00,641 --> 00:12:04,001
I think he's going to be all right,
he's, he's coming round.

202
00:12:04,321 --> 00:12:06,561
How long have I been out for?

203
00:12:06,561 --> 00:12:09,881
Not long mate, only
about 45 minutes.

204
00:12:10,921 --> 00:12:12,721
Did I lose any teeth?

205
00:12:13,201 --> 00:12:15,561
No mate no, they're all still there.

206
00:12:16,481 --> 00:12:17,761
Oh...

207
00:12:17,801 --> 00:12:19,201
that's a result.

208
00:12:19,401 --> 00:12:21,521
I decided on one
last career change

209
00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:23,161
and I played it safe this time,

210
00:12:23,281 --> 00:12:25,121
I joined a drama College.

211
00:12:25,201 --> 00:12:27,601
Great you really
nailed that, take five,

212
00:12:28,001 --> 00:12:31,121
Jack you fabulous darling,
do it how you're doing it.

213
00:12:31,121 --> 00:12:32,121
Come on guys.

214
00:12:32,161 --> 00:12:34,601
I know people will
say dramas' for mugs,

215
00:12:34,601 --> 00:12:36,681
however it does
have its perks.

216
00:12:36,721 --> 00:12:38,041
What you doing after rehearsal?

217
00:12:38,521 --> 00:12:41,401
Not sure, why
what were you thinking?

218
00:12:41,721 --> 00:12:45,921
I was thinking that maybe
you should take me out.

219
00:12:46,441 --> 00:12:48,761
Perhaps have a bit of nosh?

220
00:12:49,401 --> 00:12:51,961
She wasn't talking about food
that's for sure,

221
00:12:52,081 --> 00:12:54,801
they don't call her
Linda blow lips for nothing.

222
00:13:00,841 --> 00:13:03,001
Everything was going perfect,

223
00:13:03,001 --> 00:13:05,481
turns out I wasn't half
bad at the old acting,

224
00:13:05,481 --> 00:13:07,481
the crowd were lapping it up and

225
00:13:07,481 --> 00:13:08,601
so was I.

226
00:13:15,121 --> 00:13:17,601
Linda certainly lived
up to her reputation,

227
00:13:19,121 --> 00:13:20,481
I never really looked back on

228
00:13:20,481 --> 00:13:22,081
that decision to take up drama,

229
00:13:24,801 --> 00:13:26,201
it changed my life.

230
00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:31,121
I want you to be honest with me,

231
00:13:31,841 --> 00:13:33,001
is it true?

232
00:13:33,041 --> 00:13:34,281
Sort of.

233
00:13:34,321 --> 00:13:35,801
What do you mean sort of?

234
00:13:36,041 --> 00:13:37,961
I wasn't sleeping with your sister.

235
00:13:38,161 --> 00:13:39,721
So there is someone else.

236
00:13:39,801 --> 00:13:42,481
There was, but just
the once I promise you.

237
00:13:42,841 --> 00:13:43,841
But who?

238
00:13:44,001 --> 00:13:45,961
Tell me who it was and we might

239
00:13:46,001 --> 00:13:48,121
be able to put this
behind us and move forward.

240
00:13:49,041 --> 00:13:50,401
It was your dad.

241
00:13:50,561 --> 00:13:54,841
And cut! That
was fantastic flawless.

242
00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:57,281
Right that was
a wrap for the day everyone.

243
00:13:57,641 --> 00:13:59,641
I was spotted in the school play

244
00:13:59,641 --> 00:14:01,681
and landed a part in a
well-known TV soap.

245
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:04,401
The money was rolling
in, I love the fame

246
00:14:04,441 --> 00:14:06,001
and if you read the rumors in the

247
00:14:06,001 --> 00:14:08,681
magazines yes I
was shagging my co-star

248
00:14:09,241 --> 00:14:11,161
and the actress that
was playing her sister.

249
00:14:17,721 --> 00:14:19,361
Meanwhile as I was
conquering the world

250
00:14:19,401 --> 00:14:21,721
of Television, Danny
climbed the ladder

251
00:14:21,721 --> 00:14:23,321
of a South London crime family.

252
00:14:23,401 --> 00:14:25,361
Let me tell you something
for nothing.

253
00:14:25,361 --> 00:14:27,561
Gangsters love a celebrity.

254
00:14:27,841 --> 00:14:31,881
The mafia had Frank Sinatra,
the Krays at Barbara Windsor

255
00:14:32,161 --> 00:14:34,601
and South London had me!

256
00:14:34,801 --> 00:14:36,881
Dan, Dan come sit over here!

257
00:14:38,441 --> 00:14:40,201
Here he is hello mate!

258
00:14:40,841 --> 00:14:41,921
Jump in.

259
00:14:41,921 --> 00:14:43,601
How's our Mr ollywood doing then?

260
00:14:43,641 --> 00:14:44,761
Really well Don.

261
00:14:44,761 --> 00:14:46,761
Listen Danny boy tells me
you're leaving the show

262
00:14:46,801 --> 00:14:47,801
is that right?

263
00:14:47,801 --> 00:14:49,001
Yeah 5 years is long enough,

264
00:14:49,001 --> 00:14:50,041
time to move on.

265
00:14:50,041 --> 00:14:51,841
Well they're killing the
character off then?

266
00:14:51,881 --> 00:14:53,961
yeah his wife catches him
in a threesome with her dad

267
00:14:54,001 --> 00:14:55,601
again, so she smashes
his head in with a

268
00:14:55,641 --> 00:14:56,641
fire extinguisher.

269
00:14:58,961 --> 00:15:00,241
Who's the third person?

270
00:15:00,241 --> 00:15:01,241
Her brother.

271
00:15:01,281 --> 00:15:02,401
Her brother!

272
00:15:02,441 --> 00:15:03,441
Fucking hell!

273
00:15:03,481 --> 00:15:05,121
I tell ya that makes
me cringe that stuff,

274
00:15:05,161 --> 00:15:06,801
I don't know what this
world's coming to!

275
00:15:06,841 --> 00:15:09,321
That's how it is now Don,
you have to be politically correct.

276
00:15:09,321 --> 00:15:10,881
What three blokes up each other?

277
00:15:10,921 --> 00:15:12,201
I don't think so!
Oi stop it!

278
00:15:12,241 --> 00:15:13,361
I'm just saying.

279
00:15:13,361 --> 00:15:15,281
He's right Don same with
all that pronoun stuff.

280
00:15:15,321 --> 00:15:16,721
What pronoun stuff?

281
00:15:16,721 --> 00:15:18,761
He she they them.

282
00:15:18,801 --> 00:15:20,561
Oh that's a load of bollocks that is,

283
00:15:20,601 --> 00:15:22,481
I tell you if you piss
standing up you're a he,

284
00:15:22,521 --> 00:15:23,961
if you don't you're a she.

285
00:15:24,001 --> 00:15:26,361
It's not as simple as
that these days Don,

286
00:15:26,601 --> 00:15:29,401
It depends what you
identify as.

287
00:15:29,441 --> 00:15:31,081
What would my pronoun be?

288
00:15:31,121 --> 00:15:33,561
Fat mug!

289
00:15:33,601 --> 00:15:35,881
Look we live in a modern world now Don.

290
00:15:35,921 --> 00:15:39,721
I mean look at the telly, soaps,
adverts, everything's

291
00:15:39,761 --> 00:15:42,161
got to have an LGBT appeal these days.

292
00:15:42,201 --> 00:15:43,681
What the fucks' LGBT appeal?

293
00:15:43,721 --> 00:15:46,881
Lesbian, gay, bisexual and
transgender with a bit

294
00:15:46,921 --> 00:15:48,841
of black throning a good
measure.

295
00:15:48,841 --> 00:15:51,601
Fucking ell, now I tell you what,
I've heard it all now.

296
00:15:51,601 --> 00:15:53,481
I'll tell you that.
That's the way of

297
00:15:53,521 --> 00:15:55,041
the entertainment world Don, they're

298
00:15:55,081 --> 00:15:56,881
even doing it in films.

299
00:15:56,921 --> 00:15:58,041
Hello Gilbert.

300
00:15:58,721 --> 00:16:00,001
Alright Gilbert!

301
00:16:00,801 --> 00:16:02,001
Hello chaps.
Gilbert.

302
00:16:02,401 --> 00:16:03,401
Jerry!

303
00:16:03,881 --> 00:16:05,401
Who the fuck is that?

304
00:16:05,601 --> 00:16:07,121
A couple of good pals of mine.

305
00:16:08,041 --> 00:16:09,041
If you say so.

306
00:16:39,961 --> 00:16:42,201
Look we told you, just leave us
alone all right!

307
00:16:42,241 --> 00:16:45,321
Honestly.
Give over your having a laugh.

308
00:16:45,361 --> 00:16:47,281
Dan tell them, they don't believe me!

309
00:16:47,321 --> 00:16:48,961
Don't believe what?
That I'm the same

310
00:16:49,001 --> 00:16:50,481
age as you and Jack.

311
00:16:51,921 --> 00:16:53,881
He's actually telling the truth he is.

312
00:16:53,921 --> 00:16:55,761
No! you're all taking the piss.

313
00:16:55,801 --> 00:16:58,361
I've had a very hard life,
sex and drugs and

314
00:16:58,361 --> 00:16:59,801
rock and roll.

315
00:16:59,801 --> 00:17:02,801
Well you can roll on, mate,

316
00:17:02,841 --> 00:17:04,401
you're not chatting me up.

317
00:17:04,401 --> 00:17:07,681
Ohhh!

318
00:17:08,281 --> 00:17:09,841
See that's what happens
when you burn

319
00:17:09,841 --> 00:17:11,681
the candle at both ends Marmite.

320
00:17:11,721 --> 00:17:13,681
I don't know that bad do I?

321
00:17:15,521 --> 00:17:17,241
I hey Don listen, Jack wants to ask a

322
00:17:17,241 --> 00:17:18,961
little favour when you
got 5 minutes mate.

323
00:17:18,961 --> 00:17:20,601
Yeah of course, come over
the yard in the

324
00:17:20,641 --> 00:17:22,361
morning, I can't hear myself
think in here.

325
00:17:22,401 --> 00:17:24,241
Get that bottle of champagne
open will ya!

326
00:17:24,281 --> 00:17:25,721
it's sitting on its own.

327
00:17:26,641 --> 00:17:28,081
I'll have some of that

328
00:17:28,961 --> 00:17:30,521
Fucking leave me alone....

329
00:17:30,561 --> 00:17:32,041
Just come 'ear.
Fucking leave it out.

330
00:17:32,081 --> 00:17:33,321
Ray!
What's your problem?

331
00:17:33,401 --> 00:17:34,841
stop being such a fucking...

332
00:17:34,881 --> 00:17:35,881
No!

333
00:17:35,921 --> 00:17:37,521
I don't fucking
like them things...

334
00:17:37,561 --> 00:17:38,561
Don't fuck around...

335
00:17:38,761 --> 00:17:40,121
Come and touch it...

336
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:51,441
... fucking come here...

337
00:17:51,521 --> 00:17:53,801
He's unbelievable isn't he.

338
00:17:54,001 --> 00:17:56,961
Ray can be a right
arsehole sometimes.

339
00:17:57,321 --> 00:17:59,281
How was your trip to Belgium?

340
00:17:59,321 --> 00:18:01,761
Yeah went really well,
met the boss himself,

341
00:18:02,121 --> 00:18:04,921
really nice guy, said he'd
undercut any competitors and

342
00:18:04,961 --> 00:18:07,921
and guarantee delivery.
Finally we can fuck the Turks off.

343
00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:10,561
And the goods?
Fantastic stuff Don,

344
00:18:10,601 --> 00:18:13,401
blew my head off .
Can we trust them?

345
00:18:13,401 --> 00:18:16,081
As much as we can anyone Don,
I mean we trust the Turks

346
00:18:16,121 --> 00:18:18,001
we can trust any old cunts.

347
00:18:18,041 --> 00:18:20,281
You have got a lovely
way with words

348
00:18:20,321 --> 00:18:21,881
you know that.
Thank you.

349
00:18:21,921 --> 00:18:24,721
Danny's here.
Yes send him up.

350
00:18:24,881 --> 00:18:27,241
Have you seen what's going on
out there? Ray is acting

351
00:18:27,281 --> 00:18:28,601
like a complete prick.

352
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:30,321
You, you just watch yourself
alright,

353
00:18:30,321 --> 00:18:32,081
that prick is my brother, go on.

354
00:18:32,481 --> 00:18:33,481
You alright Mum?

355
00:18:34,561 --> 00:18:37,601
Alright Dan.
Am I going fucking mental? right,

356
00:18:37,641 --> 00:18:38,921
was Ray running around outside

357
00:18:38,961 --> 00:18:40,161
with a live rat?

358
00:18:40,281 --> 00:18:43,361
Yeah nothing surprises
me about Ray nowadays.

359
00:18:43,361 --> 00:18:45,281
Your brother's fucking mad,

360
00:18:45,321 --> 00:18:47,561
someone should tell him
about Weil's disease.

361
00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:49,081
Oh yeah what's that then?

362
00:18:49,081 --> 00:18:51,801
It's a deadly disease
carried in rat's urine,

363
00:18:51,841 --> 00:18:53,921
it's not fucking funny Ray,

364
00:18:53,961 --> 00:18:55,561
it's a fucking wind up.

365
00:18:55,601 --> 00:18:56,601
How'd it go last night?

366
00:18:56,921 --> 00:18:59,841
We did some good work Don.
Anyone hurt bad?

367
00:19:00,001 --> 00:19:02,081
We broke a few bones,
but no one's dead if that's

368
00:19:02,121 --> 00:19:03,161
what you mean!

369
00:19:03,161 --> 00:19:04,641
Yeah I thank fuck for that.

370
00:19:04,801 --> 00:19:07,201
So I'll go in right and
I'll put it on that slag

371
00:19:07,241 --> 00:19:10,881
maltese Ricky and he's there
the aresehole's gone.

372
00:19:10,881 --> 00:19:12,601
so I carve him up,

373
00:19:12,601 --> 00:19:14,921
there's a sea of blood
I shit you not Dom,

374
00:19:14,961 --> 00:19:16,041
it looked like...

375
00:19:16,081 --> 00:19:18,281
The gang were
having a dispute

376
00:19:18,321 --> 00:19:20,321
with a guy called Maltese Ricky...

377
00:19:20,361 --> 00:19:22,201
... begging not the face, not the face,

378
00:19:22,241 --> 00:19:23,561
not the fucking, face you slag...

379
00:19:23,601 --> 00:19:25,041
He owed him some money,

380
00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:27,041
so Dom asked Marmite to sort it.

381
00:19:27,081 --> 00:19:29,441
So I want you to take Danny and Gilbert

382
00:19:29,441 --> 00:19:31,041
over to West London, all right?

383
00:19:31,081 --> 00:19:33,481
Tell those Maltese slags
to pay up or else.

384
00:19:33,521 --> 00:19:36,161
Look all due respect Don, I don't

385
00:19:36,161 --> 00:19:38,921
need Danny and Gilbert
to nursemaid me,

386
00:19:39,241 --> 00:19:42,761
I want to earn my spurs,
I want to take a step up,

387
00:19:42,801 --> 00:19:43,881
up it's a popular

388
00:19:43,881 --> 00:19:47,241
misconception that I am
fat and out of shape...

389
00:19:47,281 --> 00:19:48,281
No!

390
00:19:48,281 --> 00:19:50,201
but I can have a tear up.

391
00:19:50,761 --> 00:19:55,041
That West Landon lot I'll shit 'em.
I am known as

392
00:19:55,081 --> 00:19:57,681
Marmite the merciless.

393
00:19:57,721 --> 00:20:01,281
Merciless, merciless?
I'll give you fucking

394
00:20:01,321 --> 00:20:02,521
merciless you prick.

395
00:20:02,641 --> 00:20:06,001
Honestly you can keep the
money, it was a joke!

396
00:20:06,041 --> 00:20:09,121
Ow!
Marmite you prick!

397
00:20:09,401 --> 00:20:11,241
Don was well pissed off when Marmite

398
00:20:11,241 --> 00:20:13,001
come back with broken ribs and his arm

399
00:20:13,001 --> 00:20:15,161
broke in three different places.

400
00:20:15,281 --> 00:20:18,361
So we sent Ray to sort
Maltese Ricky out.

401
00:20:20,441 --> 00:20:22,321
Fucking pounded him
to an inch of his life.

402
00:20:22,641 --> 00:20:24,761
Ray is an enforcer for the gang

403
00:20:24,761 --> 00:20:26,681
known to most of the gang as nutnut,

404
00:20:27,041 --> 00:20:30,481
Now how we got that name...
now there's a story...

405
00:20:30,801 --> 00:20:32,921
Ray was doing time in Nick and
found out the rat who

406
00:20:32,921 --> 00:20:35,281
grasped him up was
in the hospital unit

407
00:20:35,281 --> 00:20:36,321
in his prison.

408
00:20:37,241 --> 00:20:38,721
Ray wanted him bad,

409
00:20:39,561 --> 00:20:41,001
it all sounds fine to me.

410
00:20:41,241 --> 00:20:44,321
Oh glad to hear it doctor.
It's just a touch a depression

411
00:20:44,361 --> 00:20:46,881
you'll get over it, I'm
sending you back to your wing.

412
00:20:46,881 --> 00:20:48,401
Ray was fucked, so we had to

413
00:20:48,441 --> 00:20:50,441
come up with something pretty

414
00:20:50,481 --> 00:20:52,801
exceptional to get him
out of that situation.

415
00:20:54,081 --> 00:20:55,561
Can you hear that doctor?

416
00:20:55,601 --> 00:20:57,201
What's the matter?
Can you?

417
00:20:57,281 --> 00:20:59,201
What?
They're everywhere!

418
00:20:59,241 --> 00:21:00,561
Who?
The dead people.

419
00:21:00,601 --> 00:21:02,521
Come on...
They're watching me...

420
00:21:02,521 --> 00:21:03,521
Get a grip!

421
00:21:03,721 --> 00:21:05,481
That one's got an AXE!

422
00:21:05,521 --> 00:21:08,041
- Stop fucking about.
- Ahh!

423
00:21:08,081 --> 00:21:09,521
Oh Jesus Christ!

424
00:21:12,601 --> 00:21:14,921
Great idea,
but the thing was,

425
00:21:14,921 --> 00:21:16,761
Ray forgot he was two floors up.

426
00:21:17,321 --> 00:21:19,841
Are you all right?
Oh my God!

427
00:21:19,881 --> 00:21:22,921
The doctor had no option
but to certify him insane.

428
00:21:23,161 --> 00:21:25,361
Hense the nickname Nut nut.

429
00:21:25,401 --> 00:21:27,561
It was fucking glorious.

430
00:21:28,561 --> 00:21:29,801
So how's it left then?

431
00:21:30,121 --> 00:21:32,561
Had to pull all the Maltese
Ricky's teeth out,

432
00:21:32,601 --> 00:21:35,521
I'm thinking of calling him
Ricky the Gums...

433
00:21:35,561 --> 00:21:39,521
...perhaps he'd forgive us
if I buy him a set of falsies.

434
00:21:39,881 --> 00:21:41,121
Jack...

435
00:21:41,121 --> 00:21:42,641
what's this favour you're after?

436
00:21:42,641 --> 00:21:44,161
I've been offered a part in a film,

437
00:21:44,401 --> 00:21:46,961
it will take me away from TV,
to another level,

438
00:21:47,241 --> 00:21:48,561
it's a gangster film.

439
00:21:48,641 --> 00:21:50,641
It's not going to be
another comedy is it?

440
00:21:50,641 --> 00:21:52,281
You know it makes us
all look like mugs.

441
00:21:52,281 --> 00:21:54,761
Ah that's just it Don,
I want it to be realistic.

442
00:21:54,841 --> 00:21:56,401
Basically he just wants to come out and

443
00:21:56,441 --> 00:21:57,921
shadow me for a
little bit, you know

444
00:21:57,921 --> 00:21:59,601
see what it's really like out there.
Yeah.

445
00:21:59,881 --> 00:22:03,481
You're all right with this?
Yeah it'd be alright,

446
00:22:03,521 --> 00:22:05,481
I don't see why not do you?

447
00:22:05,601 --> 00:22:07,841
So long as we get invited to the
premiere

448
00:22:08,681 --> 00:22:09,801
Of course.

449
00:22:28,481 --> 00:22:30,241
I want you to pay the
Turk brothers a visit,

450
00:22:30,281 --> 00:22:31,641
give them a message from Don.

451
00:22:31,681 --> 00:22:33,841
Oh do I have to, they're a
bunch of fucking wrong'uns.

452
00:22:33,881 --> 00:22:36,081
Yes I have to attend a
little personal problem.

453
00:22:36,121 --> 00:22:37,441
Drop me out Ray, mate please.

454
00:22:37,441 --> 00:22:38,961
Danny, what you worried about?

455
00:22:39,001 --> 00:22:40,761
not like they're going
to kill you are they.

456
00:22:41,721 --> 00:22:43,281
Take Jason Statham with you, let him

457
00:22:43,321 --> 00:22:44,601
see how the other half live.

458
00:22:44,801 --> 00:22:46,601
Make sure you wear your stab vests.

459
00:22:46,681 --> 00:22:49,281
Stab vests?
He's fucking about come on.

460
00:22:49,521 --> 00:22:52,321
Gil'll be your backup,
he'll pick you up tonight

461
00:22:52,521 --> 00:22:54,041
and take that fat lazy prick

462
00:22:54,081 --> 00:22:55,841
Marmite with you as well.

463
00:23:08,041 --> 00:23:10,441
well if you're
heading to the beach....

464
00:23:10,481 --> 00:23:11,761
don't forget that sunscreen...

465
00:23:11,761 --> 00:23:13,561
... the best music all day long...

466
00:23:13,681 --> 00:23:15,881
I never had you down as a reader
Marmite.

467
00:23:15,921 --> 00:23:18,801
I'm not books can do one,

468
00:23:18,841 --> 00:23:21,601
tits I've got time for.

469
00:23:21,921 --> 00:23:23,361
Though they got rid of Page Three?

470
00:23:23,361 --> 00:23:27,361
They did to appease the
wanky feminist lobby.

471
00:23:27,521 --> 00:23:29,721
And I absolutely think that's right.

472
00:23:29,761 --> 00:23:32,721
They're doing people out of a job
Gilbert.

473
00:23:32,961 --> 00:23:34,601
How did you work that one out?

474
00:23:34,601 --> 00:23:37,721
Well instead of getting some
nice young girl to get her baps out,

475
00:23:38,041 --> 00:23:41,521
out they get some celebrity in a bikini

476
00:23:41,561 --> 00:23:43,321
and it's double exploitation.

477
00:23:43,441 --> 00:23:45,441
How do you work that one out?

478
00:23:45,481 --> 00:23:49,001
Well they're still showing
the female form in all its glory,

479
00:23:49,081 --> 00:23:53,361
but no one's getting paid
and they call that progress.

480
00:23:53,481 --> 00:23:54,761
What's he harping on about now?

481
00:23:54,801 --> 00:23:58,201
Nothing really just being
his usual sexist self,

482
00:23:58,321 --> 00:24:00,481
reckons all birds should
get their tits out.

483
00:24:00,601 --> 00:24:02,681
Men have been using power

484
00:24:02,681 --> 00:24:05,161
and money and women have been using

485
00:24:05,201 --> 00:24:08,281
looks and sex since
the beginning of time

486
00:24:08,721 --> 00:24:10,601
I mean look at Cleopatra, when she

487
00:24:10,681 --> 00:24:12,921
was pegging Julius Caesar.

488
00:24:12,961 --> 00:24:15,321
That's actually quite insightful
Marmite, you should put

489
00:24:15,321 --> 00:24:17,321
that on the back of a
car sticker or coffee mug.

490
00:24:17,321 --> 00:24:19,281
Speaking of mugs, you're late.

491
00:24:19,361 --> 00:24:21,121
Well you best get a
move on then ain't ya...

492
00:24:21,161 --> 00:24:23,121
... come on let's go.

493
00:24:30,081 --> 00:24:32,001
Right Jack listen don't look at these

494
00:24:32,041 --> 00:24:33,361
guys funny cuz they ain't exactly

495
00:24:33,361 --> 00:24:34,961
Turkish do you know what I mean.

496
00:24:35,001 --> 00:24:36,521
What do you mean? not exactly Turkish.

497
00:24:36,561 --> 00:24:38,641
Well one of them's black,
one of them's Scottish and

498
00:24:38,681 --> 00:24:41,201
the other one's maybe Turkish.

499
00:24:41,241 --> 00:24:42,841
I thought you said
they were brothers?

500
00:24:42,841 --> 00:24:45,761
Well that's what they say,
that's what I mean, don't ask.

501
00:24:45,801 --> 00:24:48,641
So they were adopted.
Well we don't know what they are.

502
00:24:48,801 --> 00:24:50,401
Just to clarify,

503
00:24:50,601 --> 00:24:54,721
is it mus or moose?
Well I think moose.

504
00:24:54,841 --> 00:24:57,041
but you don't say nothing
you don't need to speak,

505
00:24:57,161 --> 00:24:58,681
just stay calm don't get

506
00:24:58,721 --> 00:25:00,521
involved in anything. Moose can be a

507
00:25:00,561 --> 00:25:01,801
little bit violent.

508
00:25:23,922 --> 00:25:26,242
Oh fuck this man, listen Ray should be

509
00:25:26,242 --> 00:25:27,922
doing this, this is a load of bollocks.

510
00:25:27,922 --> 00:25:30,042
We don't want to wind
the Turks up, so leave

511
00:25:30,082 --> 00:25:31,722
any tools you've got in the motor.

512
00:25:31,802 --> 00:25:34,042
Jack listen mate these guys are absolute

513
00:25:34,082 --> 00:25:35,642
fucking psychos they've
lost the plot,

514
00:25:35,682 --> 00:25:37,122
don't say nothing,
just nod and shake

515
00:25:37,162 --> 00:25:39,322
your head and only talk,
if they talk to you alright.

516
00:25:39,362 --> 00:25:41,162
Okay Joe stay with the car.

517
00:25:41,162 --> 00:25:44,042
Okay Gil, right come on,
let's do this.

518
00:26:03,882 --> 00:26:05,322
You alright Candice?
Alright boys.

519
00:26:05,322 --> 00:26:07,042
Good to see you with your clothes on.

520
00:26:07,322 --> 00:26:09,482
Hiya Candice, you still single?

521
00:26:11,162 --> 00:26:15,882
My forbidden love is stronger than the

522
00:26:16,002 --> 00:26:17,762
binds that hold me,

523
00:26:17,802 --> 00:26:20,722
my forbidden love,

524
00:26:20,802 --> 00:26:24,922
I think I'm old enough to choose,

525
00:26:24,922 --> 00:26:27,922
my forbidden love,

526
00:26:27,962 --> 00:26:31,682
the one I had in a picture book,

527
00:26:31,722 --> 00:26:37,442
my forbidden love with you.

528
00:26:37,562 --> 00:26:39,762
Oh I could just do with a kebab.

529
00:26:39,802 --> 00:26:40,802
What?

530
00:26:41,482 --> 00:26:43,802
I'm starving I haven't eaten all day.

531
00:26:43,842 --> 00:26:45,762
I've just seen you eat two club

532
00:26:45,762 --> 00:26:47,882
sandwiches and three
Jam Donuts in the car,

533
00:26:47,922 --> 00:26:49,442
car you gluttonous Pig.

534
00:26:49,482 --> 00:26:52,362
I've got a blood disorder, I have
to keep my sugar levels up.

535
00:26:52,362 --> 00:26:55,002
Oh shut up you toe rag,
we're here to work,

536
00:26:55,002 --> 00:26:57,842
Danny darling where the fuck have you
been?

537
00:26:57,842 --> 00:26:59,402
Oh sorry we got a little bit held up.

538
00:26:59,442 --> 00:27:02,802
Follow me, they're waiting for you.

539
00:27:14,602 --> 00:27:16,562
I'll give you that 20 on Thursday mate.

540
00:27:16,562 --> 00:27:17,642
Alright.

541
00:27:17,682 --> 00:27:21,282
Oi garcon, a bit of service
at the bar s'il vous plait.

542
00:27:21,282 --> 00:27:22,562
What can I get ya?

543
00:27:22,602 --> 00:27:25,122
I'll have a double Brandy,
one cube of ice and

544
00:27:25,602 --> 00:27:27,682
for the lovely lady...
I'd like a nice

545
00:27:27,722 --> 00:27:30,042
bottle of carafe please.

546
00:27:30,122 --> 00:27:32,642
A carafe is a container that
the wine comes in mum.

547
00:27:32,682 --> 00:27:36,522
Oh really silly me.
Silly as arseholes my misses.

548
00:27:36,722 --> 00:27:40,442
But my daughter's the opposite,
private education

549
00:27:40,442 --> 00:27:43,122
cost us a bleeding fortune but

550
00:27:43,122 --> 00:27:44,162
money well spent.

551
00:27:45,042 --> 00:27:46,562
She's bisexual as well.

552
00:27:46,842 --> 00:27:49,842
Bilingual Mum.
Oh yeah that's the one,

553
00:27:50,122 --> 00:27:53,362
she can speak fluent French,
go on Aggie, speak

554
00:27:53,402 --> 00:27:54,922
to them in french.

555
00:27:54,922 --> 00:27:56,522
order yourself a drink for the lady,

556
00:27:56,522 --> 00:27:58,402
I'll just have a Coke
with ice please.

557
00:27:58,402 --> 00:28:00,362
And what wine can I get you madam?

558
00:28:00,402 --> 00:28:02,442
I'd like a nice bottle of champagne,
some

559
00:28:02,482 --> 00:28:04,042
Prosecco please.

560
00:28:04,242 --> 00:28:07,242
Prosecco isn't champagne mum.

561
00:28:07,242 --> 00:28:08,922
We haven't got any prosecco I'm afraid.

562
00:28:08,962 --> 00:28:12,562
Oh fuck me, what sort
of a place is this then eh?

563
00:28:12,882 --> 00:28:15,522
Go and get us a bottle of champagne,
now.

564
00:28:15,562 --> 00:28:19,362
Which one?
I like the most expensive one darling.

565
00:28:19,962 --> 00:28:20,962
Gotcha!

566
00:28:25,402 --> 00:28:28,002
Muz's a bit pissed off that
you're late Danny.

567
00:28:28,042 --> 00:28:29,682
Oh yeah is that right
yeah, fuck him.

568
00:28:30,842 --> 00:28:33,242
I know that cute little face,

569
00:28:33,242 --> 00:28:34,402
you're quite the

570
00:28:34,402 --> 00:28:36,482
celebrity, what's your name?

571
00:28:37,242 --> 00:28:38,242
Jack.

572
00:28:38,562 --> 00:28:40,682
And yours?
Lotta.

573
00:28:40,722 --> 00:28:43,602
Listen don't worry about all that
Jack, remember what I told you,

574
00:28:43,642 --> 00:28:45,762
keep your fucking
mouth shut alright?

575
00:28:57,922 --> 00:29:00,082
Does Mem's appearance offend you?

576
00:29:00,122 --> 00:29:01,122
No.

577
00:29:01,922 --> 00:29:03,442
I was just wondering that's all.

578
00:29:03,562 --> 00:29:04,842
How I got this?

579
00:29:04,882 --> 00:29:07,442
Well you know just interested.

580
00:29:07,602 --> 00:29:10,642
Friends call me Dr. Dolittle.

581
00:29:10,802 --> 00:29:12,322
That's an interesting nickname.

582
00:29:12,362 --> 00:29:14,802
I have a way with
animals, a gift,

583
00:29:16,162 --> 00:29:17,882
when I was young I found this

584
00:29:17,922 --> 00:29:19,842
beautiful little bumblebee,

585
00:29:20,042 --> 00:29:21,842
it was cold and the bee had no

586
00:29:21,842 --> 00:29:23,042
energy to fly home.

587
00:29:26,202 --> 00:29:27,882
I made him a little drink of water

588
00:29:27,922 --> 00:29:31,282
and honey to revive him and sustain him

589
00:29:31,282 --> 00:29:33,922
on his perilous journey back to the
hive.

590
00:29:36,802 --> 00:29:39,162
I was sure he was trying to say

591
00:29:39,442 --> 00:29:42,002
thank you, my God for giving me

592
00:29:42,122 --> 00:29:46,042
energy, he even let me stroke his

593
00:29:46,082 --> 00:29:47,322
delicate fur.

594
00:29:52,242 --> 00:29:54,402
As if by magic it took off.

595
00:29:57,802 --> 00:30:00,082
There, there my little bee friend.

596
00:30:00,402 --> 00:30:04,042
Don't be afraid, fly
back to the queen and tell

597
00:30:04,082 --> 00:30:06,842
her Mem sent you.

598
00:30:10,002 --> 00:30:11,762
So the bee made it
back to the hive then.

599
00:30:12,202 --> 00:30:15,482
No the ungrateful little
cunt stung me in the eye,

600
00:30:20,442 --> 00:30:21,442
HELP!

601
00:30:21,482 --> 00:30:23,002
In my panic, I ran into a

602
00:30:23,002 --> 00:30:26,002
Romanian Gypsy Camp, looking for help.

603
00:30:26,082 --> 00:30:27,762
Help! help!

604
00:30:30,082 --> 00:30:31,522
Help me!

605
00:30:33,042 --> 00:30:35,602
The dogs were a savage
vicious curse,

606
00:30:37,762 --> 00:30:39,642
frightening to most people, but not

607
00:30:39,642 --> 00:30:43,122
to Dr Dolittle, the Dog
whisperer,

608
00:30:44,002 --> 00:30:45,562
part of my gift was that I

609
00:30:45,562 --> 00:30:47,962
could telepathically
communicate with animals.

610
00:30:50,442 --> 00:30:51,762
Sh-lee-taah!

611
00:30:53,762 --> 00:30:55,802
Ee-sh-nar.

612
00:30:56,402 --> 00:31:00,722
My calming incantation never fails,

613
00:31:01,162 --> 00:31:04,042
I had the situation
completely under my control...

614
00:31:04,122 --> 00:31:05,122
until...

615
00:31:06,522 --> 00:31:12,442
Ee-sh nar....

616
00:31:12,482 --> 00:31:14,522
Fuckers bit my hand off.

617
00:31:14,562 --> 00:31:16,522
God!

618
00:31:17,882 --> 00:31:19,162
Could have been worse.

619
00:31:19,202 --> 00:31:20,202
It was!

620
00:31:21,522 --> 00:31:23,162
I was desperate if I went down, they

621
00:31:23,202 --> 00:31:24,802
would have eaten me for sure,

622
00:31:25,002 --> 00:31:27,402
my only hope was
to make for the open road,

623
00:31:28,202 --> 00:31:30,042
Ohh!

624
00:31:34,322 --> 00:31:36,122
That's how I got my wooden leg.

625
00:31:40,482 --> 00:31:43,122
That's um terrible.

626
00:31:43,162 --> 00:31:45,562
Enough of this,
where the fuck's Ray?

627
00:31:50,002 --> 00:31:52,562
Baby, this is uh dad's mate Ray.

628
00:31:52,682 --> 00:31:55,722
you remember my daughter Agrippina?

629
00:31:55,842 --> 00:31:57,842
No I can't say I do.

630
00:31:57,882 --> 00:32:00,322
Oh we're having the night out
and we're celebrating cuz

631
00:32:00,322 --> 00:32:02,522
she's just had a beautiful baby girl.

632
00:32:02,562 --> 00:32:04,442
Oh yeah good for her.

633
00:32:06,402 --> 00:32:08,562
What? what's up Ray?

634
00:32:10,682 --> 00:32:14,042
�140 please.
Keep the change love.

635
00:32:14,162 --> 00:32:15,682
Oh thanks.

636
00:32:16,162 --> 00:32:17,842
You're not going to buy me a drink?

637
00:32:17,882 --> 00:32:19,602
Seeing as it's my
money you're spending.

638
00:32:19,602 --> 00:32:22,962
do you mind we're out celebrating
and we do not appreciate you

639
00:32:23,002 --> 00:32:25,042
just walking in here uninvited.

640
00:32:25,082 --> 00:32:27,482
Let me stop you there,
you orange face slag.

641
00:32:27,642 --> 00:32:29,122
Before I have to take this glass and

642
00:32:29,162 --> 00:32:30,602
smash it down your throat.

643
00:32:30,642 --> 00:32:33,122
Dad are you going to let
him talk to Mum like that?

644
00:32:33,122 --> 00:32:35,482
You can shut up as well.
How old was she, when she

645
00:32:35,522 --> 00:32:37,082
got knocked up fucking 12?

646
00:32:37,122 --> 00:32:40,642
Don't worry girls he's
only joking we're good mates

647
00:32:40,682 --> 00:32:42,242
aren't we Ray, we go way back.

648
00:32:42,442 --> 00:32:44,762
Back far enough to know,
I don't joke and I don't

649
00:32:44,802 --> 00:32:47,202
like to find people that owe me money.

650
00:32:47,242 --> 00:32:49,082
Go outside girls,
I need to speak...

651
00:32:49,122 --> 00:32:51,202
They stay where they fucking are.

652
00:32:51,242 --> 00:32:52,242
Look mate,

653
00:32:52,282 --> 00:32:54,762
I'm I'm really sorry, could I maybe try

654
00:32:54,802 --> 00:32:56,482
and explain the situation to Don?

655
00:32:56,522 --> 00:33:00,362
I ain't your mate and
I don't give a fuck what Don thinks,

656
00:33:00,482 --> 00:33:03,122
you took the debt from me.

657
00:33:03,522 --> 00:33:06,642
I'm sorry Ray, I really
am but I don't want any problems.

658
00:33:06,682 --> 00:33:09,642
Problems? how about I fuck

659
00:33:09,642 --> 00:33:11,642
your asshole so hard
it looks like a jam fritter?

660
00:33:11,722 --> 00:33:13,722
how's that for a fucking problem!

661
00:33:13,762 --> 00:33:15,882
I'm sorry mate but I been on hard times.

662
00:33:15,882 --> 00:33:18,922
DON'T fucking lie
to me, I gave you the money

663
00:33:18,962 --> 00:33:20,442
you slag cuz you said you was

664
00:33:20,482 --> 00:33:22,162
having trouble with your morgage,

665
00:33:22,202 --> 00:33:24,362
you said you was going to
have your home repossessed,

666
00:33:24,402 --> 00:33:25,562
then what did you do?

667
00:33:25,602 --> 00:33:27,562
Went on a fucking cruise.

668
00:33:27,562 --> 00:33:29,082
It was only a short one Ray.

669
00:33:29,122 --> 00:33:31,202
Oh it's all right then and how about

670
00:33:32,202 --> 00:33:34,762
the motor, bought yourself a brand new

671
00:33:34,802 --> 00:33:36,082
Range Rover have we?

672
00:33:36,082 --> 00:33:37,362
No, no he didn't he

673
00:33:37,402 --> 00:33:38,762
bought that as a present for me.

674
00:33:38,802 --> 00:33:42,042
I swear to God, if you
don't shut her up, do you

675
00:33:42,082 --> 00:33:44,242
know what I'm going to do?
I'm going to

676
00:33:44,282 --> 00:33:47,002
tongue punch your arsehole
and make her watch.

677
00:33:47,202 --> 00:33:49,602
I'm really sorry Ray I
really am mate,

678
00:33:49,642 --> 00:33:52,402
look here, have the car key
and the money,

679
00:33:52,762 --> 00:33:54,642
it's all yours mate and me watch,

680
00:33:54,802 --> 00:33:57,882
and the jewelry.
What are you doing?

681
00:33:57,922 --> 00:33:59,602
What you doing?
Give me the fucking ring.

682
00:33:59,722 --> 00:34:00,842
You bastard.

683
00:34:00,842 --> 00:34:02,202
Mum, be quiet.

684
00:34:02,402 --> 00:34:04,442
What? you've insulted me now.

685
00:34:04,642 --> 00:34:07,002
I'm not a lone shark bully,

686
00:34:07,242 --> 00:34:11,402
just pay me what you owe me, please.

687
00:34:11,442 --> 00:34:14,442
I will Ray, I promise four weeks tops,

688
00:34:14,482 --> 00:34:15,842
I won't let you down.

689
00:34:15,882 --> 00:34:17,162
Oh I know that.

690
00:34:20,522 --> 00:34:22,242
Can I get you a drink?

691
00:34:22,842 --> 00:34:26,082
No no, let me get you both one.

692
00:34:41,202 --> 00:34:42,922
Do you prefer a glass or do you want it

693
00:34:42,922 --> 00:34:45,002
straight from the pipe?

694
00:34:45,282 --> 00:34:48,642
Don't worry love
I'll leave you out this round,

695
00:34:48,642 --> 00:34:50,562
you look a bit young to drink.

696
00:34:50,682 --> 00:34:53,962
Now drink it.

697
00:34:54,282 --> 00:34:57,122
Fucking drink it now!

698
00:35:04,362 --> 00:35:07,802
Four weeks and I want every penny.

699
00:35:14,002 --> 00:35:15,722
Where the fuck is Ray?

700
00:35:15,922 --> 00:35:18,402
Ray couldn't make it alright
but he sends his regards.

701
00:35:18,722 --> 00:35:20,602
then you come here, for that?

702
00:35:21,042 --> 00:35:22,642
Well no, I got a message from Don an' I.

703
00:35:22,642 --> 00:35:23,682
And?

704
00:35:23,682 --> 00:35:25,602
So fucking what!
Look listen he wants to

705
00:35:25,642 --> 00:35:27,442
meet somewhere neutral, yeah

706
00:35:27,722 --> 00:35:29,322
renegotiate terms of business.

707
00:35:32,762 --> 00:35:34,562
I've known Don for 10 years,

708
00:35:34,602 --> 00:35:36,282
what's there to renegotiate.

709
00:35:36,282 --> 00:35:39,202
Can't answer that, look he just
told me to delivered a message, yeah.

710
00:35:39,242 --> 00:35:41,162
And he sends a fucking runner!

711
00:35:41,362 --> 00:35:45,282
on a fucking errand,
it's an insult and

712
00:35:46,242 --> 00:35:47,682
who the fuck are you?
who you

713
00:35:47,722 --> 00:35:48,722
Who?

714
00:35:48,762 --> 00:35:49,762
You!
Me?

715
00:35:56,842 --> 00:35:57,882
Really?

716
00:35:57,922 --> 00:35:58,962
Superstar.

717
00:36:04,162 --> 00:36:06,402
Yeah, you're in that program,

718
00:36:06,562 --> 00:36:07,882
East Street!

719
00:36:07,922 --> 00:36:09,962
Yeah, yeah that's
right that's me.

720
00:36:10,002 --> 00:36:12,442
You're the guy who likes dick!

721
00:36:13,242 --> 00:36:14,602
Now we're talking!

722
00:36:14,762 --> 00:36:16,922
Ah no, only in the last couple of
episodes.

723
00:36:16,962 --> 00:36:20,282
My daughter, she loves that show.

724
00:36:20,322 --> 00:36:23,522
Mem! selfie!
Come here, come here.

725
00:36:23,562 --> 00:36:24,762
Selfie!
Come on.

726
00:36:24,802 --> 00:36:28,162
Eh! Lotta... Lotta,
break out the Tiger milk,

727
00:36:28,162 --> 00:36:30,242
You boys like Raki?
Yeah.

728
00:36:30,242 --> 00:36:34,522
I got some special Rakiii!

729
00:36:34,562 --> 00:36:37,962
Raki, Raki...

730
00:38:15,722 --> 00:38:22,442
Raki, Raki, Raki...

731
00:38:27,682 --> 00:38:29,002
Well how to meet go boys?

732
00:38:29,002 --> 00:38:32,322
How'd it go? Dunno, I think
someone spiked the Raki!

733
00:38:32,482 --> 00:38:35,002
We should never have
had those Disco Biscuits.

734
00:38:35,002 --> 00:38:36,202
That coke didn't help either.

735
00:38:36,242 --> 00:38:37,602
Listen I'm glad Mus recognize you,

736
00:38:37,642 --> 00:38:39,482
but you should not have
given him your number.

737
00:38:39,522 --> 00:38:41,202
What could I do?
Give him a moody one.

738
00:38:41,242 --> 00:38:43,122
He took my number and rang
me back straight away

739
00:38:43,162 --> 00:38:44,242
so I'd have his number.

740
00:38:44,242 --> 00:38:46,002
Just ditch the phone.
No you can't do that,

741
00:38:46,042 --> 00:38:47,122
he'll go fucking mental.

742
00:38:47,162 --> 00:38:49,602
It's okay don't worry about it,
what can happen?

743
00:38:50,682 --> 00:38:54,842
Fuck it's Mus!
It's Mus, fucking answer it then.

744
00:38:55,762 --> 00:39:00,482
Hello? Uh no... I'm
afraid I've got a girlfriend,

745
00:39:00,882 --> 00:39:04,642
uh yeah, no it's really just acting
okay,

746
00:39:05,282 --> 00:39:06,722
I promise.

747
00:39:08,402 --> 00:39:09,402
Who was it?

748
00:39:09,682 --> 00:39:11,922
Lotta, wanted to take me out on a date.

749
00:39:13,762 --> 00:39:16,322
Should have give her my number,
I would have give her one.

750
00:39:16,322 --> 00:39:17,522
I bet you would.

751
00:39:17,562 --> 00:39:19,602
Listen you're not going
to hear the end of it Jack,

752
00:39:19,642 --> 00:39:21,522
mark my words.
Come on lets get out of here.

753
00:39:37,882 --> 00:39:39,082
Fuck!

754
00:39:42,482 --> 00:39:43,882
Mus.

755
00:39:44,002 --> 00:39:45,842
I was just thinking about you.

756
00:39:46,882 --> 00:39:48,842
There was this advert in this comic

757
00:39:49,602 --> 00:39:52,842
there were these beautiful,
little pink water monkeys

758
00:39:52,922 --> 00:39:54,642
having a great time, they were,

759
00:39:54,682 --> 00:39:56,322
Yeah great time.

760
00:39:56,402 --> 00:39:57,682
They had a little one

761
00:39:57,722 --> 00:40:00,322
digging up treasure,
another one eating

762
00:40:00,362 --> 00:40:03,922
his ice cream, his
King all proud with a crown

763
00:40:03,962 --> 00:40:06,522
his Queen laying beside
him having a picnic,

764
00:40:06,922 --> 00:40:09,202
propper sort she was,

765
00:40:09,602 --> 00:40:11,042
I'll tell you this for nothing,

766
00:40:11,082 --> 00:40:12,642
if she weren't a water monkey, I'd have

767
00:40:12,682 --> 00:40:14,042
given her one.

768
00:40:14,322 --> 00:40:16,642
How you eat an
ice cream underwater?

769
00:40:16,682 --> 00:40:19,002
Yeah I was thinking that.

770
00:40:19,002 --> 00:40:20,842
You shut up
and let me finish.

771
00:40:20,882 --> 00:40:22,322
Sorry!

772
00:40:22,602 --> 00:40:23,602
Where was I?

773
00:40:25,122 --> 00:40:28,002
Yeah so I sent off to America, got the

774
00:40:28,042 --> 00:40:31,682
deluxe version, postage cost me a
fortune.

775
00:40:32,682 --> 00:40:34,522
When it arrived I was all

776
00:40:34,562 --> 00:40:37,602
careful to open it,
I didn't want to frighten them,

777
00:40:38,042 --> 00:40:39,882
I was a bit disappointed,

778
00:40:40,082 --> 00:40:42,282
I thought they'd be fully grown
and all I had

779
00:40:42,322 --> 00:40:44,882
was his pack of tiny eggs,
but I nurtured them

780
00:40:44,882 --> 00:40:47,802
There you go. I nurtured them morning,

781
00:40:48,042 --> 00:40:53,162
noon and night and then
that day finally arrived,

782
00:40:54,282 --> 00:40:55,882
and I realized I've been ripped

783
00:40:55,922 --> 00:40:57,722
off with a load of fucking waterfleas.

784
00:40:57,762 --> 00:41:00,602
So how much they set you back then?
Five quid.

785
00:41:00,642 --> 00:41:02,562
And what do you expect for five quid?

786
00:41:02,562 --> 00:41:05,722
Jurassic Park?
What' you do with them?

787
00:41:05,842 --> 00:41:07,242
I dropped the cunts down a toilet

788
00:41:15,882 --> 00:41:17,162
We've got a problem?

789
00:41:18,562 --> 00:41:20,202
Ginger nut has just been nicked

790
00:41:20,242 --> 00:41:22,362
with a ton of our puff
and a shitload of cash.

791
00:41:22,402 --> 00:41:24,802
We need to get to him before he
gets time to think about it.

792
00:41:24,842 --> 00:41:27,002
Ginger won't grass he wouldn't dare.

793
00:41:27,122 --> 00:41:30,842
You are talking about a lot of time,
someone needs to speak to him.

794
00:41:30,882 --> 00:41:32,082
Yeah Sadie's right nothing

795
00:41:32,722 --> 00:41:34,482
surprises me nowadays.

796
00:41:34,522 --> 00:41:36,602
Gilbert go and pick up
Crassus and get over there.

797
00:41:38,162 --> 00:41:40,362
Oh look who's late again Jack.

798
00:41:40,362 --> 00:41:43,082
Sorry Dan, our new mate's driving me
mad.

799
00:41:43,802 --> 00:41:46,442
Fuck, it's him again.
Just fucking ignore it.

800
00:41:46,442 --> 00:41:48,122
Ignore who?
Mus!

801
00:41:48,162 --> 00:41:49,162
Who?

802
00:41:49,202 --> 00:41:50,202
Mr Turk.

803
00:41:50,242 --> 00:41:51,802
What the fuck's he calling him?

804
00:41:51,842 --> 00:41:52,922
He recognized him and

805
00:41:52,962 --> 00:41:54,203
asked him for his number.
When?

806
00:41:54,443 --> 00:41:56,243
When we went to deliver your message.

807
00:41:56,363 --> 00:41:59,003
Who sent you to deliver
my message to the Turks?

808
00:41:59,563 --> 00:42:01,443
Ray.
I sent you.

809
00:42:01,843 --> 00:42:03,683
I had to attend a little personal
problem.

810
00:42:03,723 --> 00:42:05,443
I sent you, you cunt!

811
00:42:06,043 --> 00:42:07,683
What's he want?

812
00:42:07,923 --> 00:42:11,443
He wants me to go to his daughter's
wedding, as the man of honour.

813
00:42:11,723 --> 00:42:14,243
Well tell him you can't make it,
you're filming or something

814
00:42:14,283 --> 00:42:15,683
Wind him down gently.

815
00:42:15,803 --> 00:42:19,203
Yeah tread carefully,
them Turks are lunatics.

816
00:42:19,283 --> 00:42:21,243
Right, you three
get the fuck out of here,

817
00:42:21,283 --> 00:42:26,843
You, I want a word with you,
what the fuck are you thinking?

818
00:42:38,403 --> 00:42:40,523
When you're working
for a crime family,

819
00:42:40,523 --> 00:42:43,083
and all going hunky dory you're fine.

820
00:42:43,123 --> 00:42:46,923
One of the crew, family, bonded by
blood.

821
00:42:46,923 --> 00:42:50,483
But if it all goes tits up
things are very different,

822
00:42:50,523 --> 00:42:51,963
Suddenly you're on your own,

823
00:42:52,043 --> 00:42:54,323
cast a drift at Sea.

824
00:42:54,363 --> 00:42:56,523
You got five minutes
with no cameras, Crassus.

825
00:42:57,323 --> 00:42:59,523
If you don't do
what the boss wants,

826
00:42:59,563 --> 00:43:02,403
there will be very
dire consequences.

827
00:43:02,523 --> 00:43:04,763
Carassus, thank God...
Shut up...

828
00:43:04,803 --> 00:43:07,683
and let me tell you
how this is going to play out.

829
00:43:08,043 --> 00:43:09,763
I get you're scared,

830
00:43:09,803 --> 00:43:11,683
and you want me to
tell you nice things,

831
00:43:12,083 --> 00:43:13,683
warm cuddly things,

832
00:43:14,443 --> 00:43:16,483
but first I've got to
tell you how it is.

833
00:43:16,563 --> 00:43:17,883
The good news comes later.

834
00:43:17,963 --> 00:43:19,003
Understand?

835
00:43:19,763 --> 00:43:20,763
I understand...

836
00:43:21,323 --> 00:43:23,163
I don't have time for you to talk
either,

837
00:43:23,483 --> 00:43:25,483
any questions just raise your hand,

838
00:43:26,643 --> 00:43:28,443
good... very good,

839
00:43:29,083 --> 00:43:31,243
but I'm not taking questions
at this time,

840
00:43:32,243 --> 00:43:34,843
so there is no good news,

841
00:43:35,243 --> 00:43:37,483
due to the size of the seizure

842
00:43:37,603 --> 00:43:40,683
and the Firearms, you'll
be made an example of,

843
00:43:41,003 --> 00:43:42,803
sentenced hard,

844
00:43:43,203 --> 00:43:45,803
8 to 12 years minimum,

845
00:43:46,243 --> 00:43:50,203
I mean they'll offer you a deal
and if you cooperate

846
00:43:50,243 --> 00:43:52,043
then they'll half your sentence,

847
00:43:52,043 --> 00:43:55,083
so that's out in six maybe with

848
00:43:55,203 --> 00:43:57,723
good behaviour, parole in four,

849
00:43:58,003 --> 00:44:01,123
they'll play on it for the
sake of the kids, but

850
00:44:01,523 --> 00:44:04,723
what they won't
tell you is, if you snitch,

851
00:44:05,483 --> 00:44:09,523
we will hunt you down
and kill you like a rat,

852
00:44:10,003 --> 00:44:12,883
mind you, not before the
lads have gone to town,

853
00:44:12,923 --> 00:44:16,003
on your wife, who will
be murdered afterwards

854
00:44:16,483 --> 00:44:18,083
unless she kills herself,

855
00:44:18,243 --> 00:44:20,283
with the shame of being seen to

856
00:44:20,283 --> 00:44:21,403
by a group of fellas,

857
00:44:22,323 --> 00:44:23,323
so...

858
00:44:23,843 --> 00:44:26,163
when they're offering you that deal

859
00:44:26,203 --> 00:44:28,723
for the sake of the kids,
remember...

860
00:44:29,163 --> 00:44:34,003
a long-distance dad is better
than two dead parents.

861
00:44:36,523 --> 00:44:38,683
Now, it's time for the good news,

862
00:44:38,723 --> 00:44:40,803
the warm cuddly news

863
00:44:41,043 --> 00:44:44,003
in return for you doing your
time like a man,

864
00:44:44,123 --> 00:44:46,203
we will give you two grand a month

865
00:44:46,203 --> 00:44:49,203
plus an extra 2K for
Christmas and holidays,

866
00:44:51,043 --> 00:44:53,563
so now you know what
you have to do don't you.

867
00:44:57,363 --> 00:45:00,443
Excellent speaking to you um any
questions?

868
00:45:01,203 --> 00:45:04,643
here's my card my assistant
will be dealing with your case

869
00:45:05,203 --> 00:45:07,683
Don't worry he's one of the best,

870
00:45:08,163 --> 00:45:10,483
I only work with the best.

871
00:45:11,283 --> 00:45:12,803
So what do I say?

872
00:45:13,483 --> 00:45:15,763
Don't stress about it, just
say what Sadie said

873
00:45:15,763 --> 00:45:17,723
and say you're filming.
Here we go...

874
00:45:18,563 --> 00:45:23,763
Dear Mus, I am so sorry
that I cannot make

875
00:45:23,803 --> 00:45:26,163
your beautiful..
Nice.

876
00:45:26,203 --> 00:45:30,083
daughter's wedding as
a man of Honour,

877
00:45:30,483 --> 00:45:33,603
as I happen to be filming.

878
00:45:33,683 --> 00:45:37,443
That's nice, short, sweet, to the point,
wait add a kiss,

879
00:45:37,483 --> 00:45:38,723
soften the blow.
Good call.

880
00:45:38,963 --> 00:45:39,963
Sent.

881
00:45:43,763 --> 00:45:46,563
You tell them fucking
Albanians they either,

882
00:45:46,643 --> 00:45:48,683
pay up or face the consequences,

883
00:45:48,683 --> 00:45:50,803
if they want to sell gear on our turf.

884
00:45:50,923 --> 00:45:51,923
Yes Mus.

885
00:45:53,963 --> 00:45:54,963
Ah!

886
00:45:55,643 --> 00:45:56,803
Message from Jack.

887
00:45:57,363 --> 00:45:59,203
Oh he makes me go weak at the knees.

888
00:45:59,243 --> 00:46:00,563
What's he say?

889
00:46:00,723 --> 00:46:04,723
Dear Mus, I'm sorry I can't make your

890
00:46:04,723 --> 00:46:08,083
beautiful daughter's wedding
as man of honour,

891
00:46:08,523 --> 00:46:11,163
as I happen to be filming, what's

892
00:46:13,043 --> 00:46:14,043
What's up?

893
00:46:15,083 --> 00:46:16,883
He called me a cunt!

894
00:46:16,923 --> 00:46:18,403
What?
Look!

895
00:46:20,523 --> 00:46:23,043
A man of honour,
happen to be filming

896
00:46:23,083 --> 00:46:24,083
C

897
00:46:25,003 --> 00:46:29,003
I can't believe it, not only
does he disrespect my daughter,

898
00:46:29,123 --> 00:46:30,763
but he called me a cunt,

899
00:46:30,803 --> 00:46:32,603
I'm going to fucking kill him.

900
00:46:35,843 --> 00:46:36,843
It's Mus!

901
00:46:37,763 --> 00:46:39,363
Well answer it.

902
00:46:41,563 --> 00:46:43,123
Hello Mus.

903
00:46:43,203 --> 00:46:45,363
Jack, it's Lotta.

904
00:46:45,803 --> 00:46:49,843
Mus is going crazy, he wants
your head on a plate,

905
00:46:50,363 --> 00:46:52,803
Why did you call him the c word?

906
00:46:53,003 --> 00:46:54,003
The what?

907
00:46:54,283 --> 00:46:57,523
C, U, N, T, I don't like that word.

908
00:46:57,603 --> 00:46:58,603
I didn't.

909
00:46:58,803 --> 00:47:01,923
You did, I saw it with my own eyes.

910
00:47:03,763 --> 00:47:07,003
Lotta, that was a mistake
it was meant to be an X,

911
00:47:07,043 --> 00:47:09,883
a kiss.
For your own good Jack,

912
00:47:09,883 --> 00:47:11,843
better ring him quick and explain.

913
00:47:11,883 --> 00:47:14,243
Okay I'll do that right now thanks
Lotta.

914
00:47:15,243 --> 00:47:16,763
I fucked up.

915
00:47:16,803 --> 00:47:18,843
Look Jack why don't you just
fucking ring him yes,

916
00:47:18,843 --> 00:47:19,843
so much easier.

917
00:47:19,883 --> 00:47:21,603
No, let technology do the work

918
00:47:21,643 --> 00:47:23,003
speech to text, how this,

919
00:47:23,723 --> 00:47:28,403
Dear Mus, I am so sorry
for the misunderstanding,

920
00:47:28,483 --> 00:47:32,083
stupidly missed the kiss
and hit the C next to it.

921
00:47:32,163 --> 00:47:36,323
to make amends I will attend the
wedding,

922
00:47:36,363 --> 00:47:37,843
so I can smile, as I watch

923
00:47:37,883 --> 00:47:39,523
you take your daughter, up the aisle.

924
00:47:39,523 --> 00:47:41,603
Love it, fucking send it.

925
00:47:41,643 --> 00:47:43,043
Message sent.

926
00:47:45,643 --> 00:47:47,723
FUCK!!!
What?

927
00:47:50,603 --> 00:47:52,323
Fucking read it back now!

928
00:47:54,043 --> 00:47:55,243
MUS!

929
00:47:57,403 --> 00:47:59,083
MUS!

930
00:48:00,483 --> 00:48:02,043
He's not picking up.

931
00:48:03,323 --> 00:48:05,003
You better keep trying mate cuz

932
00:48:05,003 --> 00:48:07,203
listen, if Dom finds out
he's going to go ballistic.

933
00:48:07,243 --> 00:48:09,163
It's not that bad Danny.

934
00:48:09,203 --> 00:48:11,403
It's not that bad!
You told him to give it to

935
00:48:11,403 --> 00:48:14,243
his daughter, up her dirt
pipe on her wedding day.

936
00:48:14,443 --> 00:48:16,003
Fuck it!
Not fuck it Jack,

937
00:48:16,043 --> 00:48:17,883
war has been started
for less than this,

938
00:48:18,723 --> 00:48:21,203
You best keep on until
he picks up, cuz if Dom

939
00:48:21,283 --> 00:48:22,803
finds out it's going to go from bad to

940
00:48:22,843 --> 00:48:23,883
worst quick sharpish.

941
00:48:23,883 --> 00:48:25,403
It's ringing.
Yeah.

942
00:48:25,883 --> 00:48:28,403
Lotta, it's Lotta..

943
00:48:28,403 --> 00:48:30,683
Speak to him speak to him,
tell him to sort it out.

944
00:48:30,763 --> 00:48:32,643
Lotta, about the taking up the ass
message,

945
00:48:32,683 --> 00:48:33,883
it was a genuine mistake,

946
00:48:34,083 --> 00:48:37,243
predictive text,
what do you mean seizure?

947
00:48:37,443 --> 00:48:38,963
hospital? Is he still there?

948
00:48:39,003 --> 00:48:41,243
Give me the phone, give me the phone,
give me the phone.

949
00:48:41,283 --> 00:48:43,203
Lotta, hello? yeah
listen he didn't mean it,

950
00:48:43,203 --> 00:48:45,163
look you got to
sort this out for us,

951
00:48:45,203 --> 00:48:46,443
before it gets out of hand,

952
00:48:46,443 --> 00:48:47,763
Jack I'll do anything,

953
00:48:48,523 --> 00:48:49,523
yeah anything!

954
00:48:51,003 --> 00:48:54,963
tomorrow? all right, thank you.

955
00:48:55,843 --> 00:48:57,443
Said she's going to sort it out

956
00:48:57,603 --> 00:48:58,803
under one condition.

957
00:48:59,283 --> 00:49:00,283
What's that?

958
00:49:24,403 --> 00:49:26,043
Oh here he is! you took your time,

959
00:49:26,083 --> 00:49:27,723
have a good night Jack?

960
00:49:27,763 --> 00:49:29,523
This stays between us Dan.

961
00:49:29,523 --> 00:49:32,003
of course, I mean what's a bit of
dick between friends, hey.

962
00:49:32,043 --> 00:49:33,323
A bit?

963
00:49:33,363 --> 00:49:36,083
You both look really dashy.

964
00:49:36,123 --> 00:49:38,603
Thanks it's me mum's birthday,
Don's throwing a party.

965
00:49:38,603 --> 00:49:40,603
Jack you sure you want
to go this way, don't want

966
00:49:40,643 --> 00:49:41,723
to try the back door?

967
00:49:41,723 --> 00:49:43,883
Fuck off Danny.
Only joking oi!

968
00:49:44,083 --> 00:49:45,523
Fuck off Danny.

969
00:49:59,923 --> 00:50:02,603
It'll be okay I managed
to calm Mus down,

970
00:50:02,603 --> 00:50:04,923
with a little bit of help
from his daughter,

971
00:50:04,923 --> 00:50:07,603
and a bit of medication,
got him to understand

972
00:50:07,643 --> 00:50:09,483
the predictive text problem,

973
00:50:11,163 --> 00:50:12,803
Do you like coke?

974
00:50:15,043 --> 00:50:18,043
Look it's wrote do you like cock?

975
00:50:26,763 --> 00:50:29,843
I was planning on killing
you do know that Jack?

976
00:50:29,883 --> 00:50:33,203
and I can understand why Mus,
I am so sorry,

977
00:50:34,443 --> 00:50:38,523
Yeah now I just want to
plant a big kiss on you,

978
00:50:38,523 --> 00:50:41,483
Hey listen this Texting for
you is really funny man,

979
00:50:41,483 --> 00:50:46,803
Check this. Do you want
to eat some peanuts?

980
00:50:47,643 --> 00:50:53,043
Do you want to eat some penus!

981
00:50:53,883 --> 00:50:57,163
Listen listen boys, let's
grab a drink and listen to

982
00:50:57,203 --> 00:50:59,843
the game and let bygones be bygones.

983
00:51:04,083 --> 00:51:06,083
Come on, come on, come on,

984
00:51:06,123 --> 00:51:07,643
come on Mus, what's going on?

985
00:51:07,643 --> 00:51:09,403
are they winning or what?

986
00:51:09,443 --> 00:51:10,483
Take a shot, take a shot.

987
00:51:19,123 --> 00:51:21,323
Oh fuck me!

988
00:51:23,683 --> 00:51:25,323
What the fuck have you done Jack?

989
00:51:26,523 --> 00:51:28,403
I I didn't mean to,

990
00:51:29,323 --> 00:51:32,283
is he dead?
He's got a fucking 4 foot

991
00:51:32,323 --> 00:51:34,483
Harpoon hanging out of his chest,

992
00:51:34,643 --> 00:51:36,603
I think he's fucking dead yeah.

993
00:51:37,723 --> 00:51:39,483
I'm in so much trouble.

994
00:51:39,563 --> 00:51:41,363
Just calm down,
we need to work this out.

995
00:51:41,403 --> 00:51:43,323
I fucking killed him Danny!

996
00:51:43,363 --> 00:51:45,443
If they hear us, they'll
fucking kill us mate.

997
00:51:45,483 --> 00:51:47,803
Calm it down, we
need to work this out now.

998
00:51:47,883 --> 00:51:49,843
We need to work it out. Shh.

999
00:52:06,523 --> 00:52:10,763
What a game, what a game woo!

1000
00:52:16,603 --> 00:52:19,763
Lotta, you go home,
alright when they ask

1001
00:52:19,763 --> 00:52:21,843
you what happened,
you just say Mus showed

1002
00:52:21,883 --> 00:52:23,443
us to a cab and then
he said he wanted

1003
00:52:23,483 --> 00:52:25,723
some fresh air so he went
for a walk around the block,

1004
00:52:26,283 --> 00:52:27,563
are you listening to me?
Yeah.

1005
00:52:27,603 --> 00:52:28,963
He showed us to the cab he said he

1006
00:52:29,003 --> 00:52:31,243
wanted fresh air so he went
for a walk around the block.

1007
00:52:31,283 --> 00:52:32,483
Okay.
We stick to this story

1008
00:52:32,523 --> 00:52:34,443
or we're fucking dead alright.

1009
00:52:34,643 --> 00:52:36,323
Go on off you go.

1010
00:52:37,923 --> 00:52:39,443
Come on.
Dan?

1011
00:52:39,483 --> 00:52:41,283
What?
What are we going to do with him?

1012
00:52:41,323 --> 00:52:43,563
Don't worry I'll sort that
out alright, get in the car.

1013
00:52:43,803 --> 00:52:45,763
Get in the car Jack,
come on.

1014
00:53:05,123 --> 00:53:07,283
Right, come on
let's get him in the hole.

1015
00:53:07,283 --> 00:53:08,563
How do we do that?

1016
00:53:08,603 --> 00:53:10,043
We just put him in the
fucking hole!

1017
00:53:10,043 --> 00:53:11,723
What roll him in?
We can't roll him in,

1018
00:53:11,723 --> 00:53:12,883
we got to pick him up and

1019
00:53:12,883 --> 00:53:14,803
Chuck him in the hole.
I'm not touching him again

1020
00:53:14,843 --> 00:53:16,763
he stinks.
What do you mean he stinks?

1021
00:53:18,123 --> 00:53:20,203
Oh sorry I smell so bad mate I

1022
00:53:20,203 --> 00:53:21,883
ain't had time for a shower since you

1023
00:53:21,923 --> 00:53:23,883
fucking harpoon me,
pick him up.

1024
00:53:24,043 --> 00:53:25,363
Oh for fucks sake!

1025
00:53:28,003 --> 00:53:29,723
Alright on three

1026
00:53:29,763 --> 00:53:33,883
one...two...three.

1027
00:53:36,123 --> 00:53:37,483
You're going to have to get in.

1028
00:53:37,483 --> 00:53:38,843
Why?
It's not deep enough.

1029
00:53:38,883 --> 00:53:40,923
What you mean it's not deep
enough? it's well deep.

1030
00:53:40,963 --> 00:53:42,443
The arpoon sticking out.

1031
00:53:43,123 --> 00:53:44,723
What do want me to do about that?

1032
00:53:44,763 --> 00:53:47,203
Just get in and sort it out
jump in for fucks sake.

1033
00:53:48,483 --> 00:53:50,123
Right.

1034
00:53:50,203 --> 00:53:53,203
All you got to do grab the arpoon and
jam it in him a bit more.

1035
00:53:53,243 --> 00:53:55,283
I'm not jamming it in,
you jam it in!

1036
00:53:55,323 --> 00:53:56,563
For God's sake!

1037
00:53:56,723 --> 00:53:57,923
Hold that.

1038
00:53:58,243 --> 00:54:00,763
What's this?
Don't touch that!

1039
00:54:00,803 --> 00:54:05,603
Oh for fucks sake!

1040
00:54:05,963 --> 00:54:09,683
Oh I love it, oh thanks Don.

1041
00:54:11,203 --> 00:54:12,203
Fuck me!

1042
00:54:12,443 --> 00:54:14,043
It's creature from the black lagoon!

1043
00:54:16,363 --> 00:54:19,803
You're late.
What you think this is , fancy dress?

1044
00:54:21,643 --> 00:54:23,363
What the hell's happened to you Danny?

1045
00:54:23,443 --> 00:54:25,003
and where's your shoes?

1046
00:54:25,003 --> 00:54:26,723
Just got in a bit of a fight that's all,

1047
00:54:26,763 --> 00:54:27,923
just a little scrap.

1048
00:54:27,963 --> 00:54:31,003
What was it mud wrestling?

1049
00:54:31,083 --> 00:54:34,723
Look listen, we're uh we're pretty
knackered and um we just wondered

1050
00:54:34,763 --> 00:54:36,883
if you if you mind
if we just call it a night?

1051
00:54:36,883 --> 00:54:38,683
We do mind actually you come and

1052
00:54:38,723 --> 00:54:40,563
keep your mum happy,
listen get some more

1053
00:54:40,563 --> 00:54:42,083
champagne in, then you two go and get

1054
00:54:42,123 --> 00:54:43,243
yourself cleaned up.

1055
00:54:56,923 --> 00:54:59,523
Jack, Jack, listen
listen listen, if we

1056
00:54:59,523 --> 00:55:01,323
stick to our story we're
going to be alright.

1057
00:55:01,483 --> 00:55:03,963
I'm still in a daze
it's as if I'm in a nightmare.

1058
00:55:04,003 --> 00:55:06,163
A nightmare you fucking
caused, listen to me,

1059
00:55:06,243 --> 00:55:08,083
if you cave in, we're
both fucking dead Jack,

1060
00:55:08,123 --> 00:55:10,643
they'll kill us mate right.
I'll be okay.

1061
00:55:10,683 --> 00:55:12,723
Yeah you fucking better be,
look you're an actor

1062
00:55:12,803 --> 00:55:14,843
alright, just act, you're good
at it yeah, come on

1063
00:55:14,843 --> 00:55:16,523
you're going to be all right, we're
late,

1064
00:55:16,563 --> 00:55:18,443
we better hurry up.
Dad.

1065
00:55:18,443 --> 00:55:19,523
What?

1066
00:55:19,563 --> 00:55:23,083
I love you.
Oh fuck off Jack come on

1067
00:55:23,123 --> 00:55:24,363
don't fuck this up.

1068
00:55:29,163 --> 00:55:31,443
So the last time Mus was
seen, was with these two.

1069
00:55:31,483 --> 00:55:33,203
I've got no idea what he's going on
about,

1070
00:55:33,243 --> 00:55:35,363
Don, listen last time I saw him

1071
00:55:35,403 --> 00:55:36,923
he showed us to the car and he

1072
00:55:36,963 --> 00:55:39,043
said he was going to go for a walk,
you know wheel,

1073
00:55:39,083 --> 00:55:40,243
you know what I mean.
Oi!

1074
00:55:40,283 --> 00:55:41,363
You're a fucking liar,

1075
00:55:41,843 --> 00:55:43,763
Lotta saw you get into a taxi.

1076
00:55:43,763 --> 00:55:45,643
A fucking cab then, I don't
know we were drunk.

1077
00:55:45,683 --> 00:55:47,283
Where's my fucking brother?

1078
00:55:47,283 --> 00:55:48,763
We don't fucking know!

1079
00:55:48,763 --> 00:55:51,643
Calm it down the lot of you,
Mem you come around here

1080
00:55:51,683 --> 00:55:52,723
making accusations,

1081
00:55:52,723 --> 00:55:54,563
You want to have it with them,

1082
00:55:54,643 --> 00:55:56,563
then you have it with us as well,

1083
00:55:56,563 --> 00:55:59,203
alright, now until you got
proof fuck off out of here.

1084
00:55:59,723 --> 00:56:01,443
You won't hear the last of this.

1085
00:56:02,083 --> 00:56:03,563
We aren fucking done yet.

1086
00:56:06,483 --> 00:56:08,763
What the fuck were you doing
there in the first place?

1087
00:56:08,803 --> 00:56:10,523
You said to let him
down gently Sandie, so

1088
00:56:10,563 --> 00:56:11,763
we went around there to

1089
00:56:11,803 --> 00:56:13,643
have a face to face,
you know out of respect.

1090
00:56:13,643 --> 00:56:15,603
So you telling me you
had nothing to do with Mus

1091
00:56:15,643 --> 00:56:16,763
going on the missing list?

1092
00:56:16,763 --> 00:56:18,883
Of course not we wouldn't
lie to you, swear it on me

1093
00:56:18,923 --> 00:56:20,363
mother's life!
Then fuck 'em.

1094
00:56:20,803 --> 00:56:22,923
You wanted a word?
Yeah we're all going to

1095
00:56:23,003 --> 00:56:24,803
keep our heads down,

1096
00:56:24,963 --> 00:56:27,243
so we find out which way Ginger nut
swings all right!

1097
00:56:27,403 --> 00:56:31,803
So that means no dealing,
no extortion, no nothing

1098
00:56:31,923 --> 00:56:34,763
Oh thats right is it?
and am I'm going to earn?

1099
00:56:34,803 --> 00:56:36,003
I've got commitments.

1100
00:56:36,003 --> 00:56:37,683
Yeah well that's how it's going to be.

1101
00:56:38,323 --> 00:56:40,203
I've got some more good
news for you as well,

1102
00:56:40,243 --> 00:56:42,283
the boss wants to see us,
find out what the fuck's

1103
00:56:42,283 --> 00:56:43,403
going on around here.

1104
00:56:43,403 --> 00:56:46,523
The boss? Fuck that!
Yeah you're coming as well.

1105
00:56:46,523 --> 00:56:50,483
Don, I love ya,
but not a fucking chance.

1106
00:57:00,283 --> 00:57:02,683
I wonder if fuck face is here?
Who?

1107
00:57:02,763 --> 00:57:05,203
The butler, it could make
things awkward for us,

1108
00:57:05,203 --> 00:57:06,563
he fucking hates me.
Why?

1109
00:57:06,723 --> 00:57:08,443
Well last time I was here
after the meeting,

1110
00:57:08,483 --> 00:57:09,723
it turned into a bit of a sesh.

1111
00:57:09,763 --> 00:57:11,323
right, heard some
weird noises coming

1112
00:57:11,363 --> 00:57:12,363
from the drawing room.

1113
00:57:12,403 --> 00:57:15,323
Like what?
Like naughty naughty someone speaking

1114
00:57:15,363 --> 00:57:17,963
all strange I thought it
was a Punch and Judy show.

1115
00:57:18,003 --> 00:57:19,363
I love Punch and Judy, was it?

1116
00:57:19,363 --> 00:57:21,243
No it weren't it was the boss giving

1117
00:57:21,283 --> 00:57:23,323
him a severe portion
right in the apple fritter,

1118
00:57:23,363 --> 00:57:24,803
with the biggest fucking dildo

1119
00:57:24,843 --> 00:57:26,043
you've ever seen in your life!

1120
00:57:26,203 --> 00:57:28,443
Yeah he must have an
arsehole like a wind sock.

1121
00:57:28,723 --> 00:57:31,603
Anyway ever since then
he ain't really liked me.

1122
00:57:31,643 --> 00:57:33,763
Been making things awkward
getting in the boss's ear,

1123
00:57:33,763 --> 00:57:36,083
disrespecting me you know,
so we got to watch him today.

1124
00:57:36,203 --> 00:57:37,963
Just stick to the fucking plan all
right?

1125
00:57:37,963 --> 00:57:39,803
Do you remember what I said to you?

1126
00:57:39,843 --> 00:57:41,603
Stick to the plan.
Stick to the plan.

1127
00:57:41,843 --> 00:57:43,323
Let's do this.

1128
00:57:53,883 --> 00:57:55,843
You're late.
Sorry we got a bit lost.

1129
00:57:55,923 --> 00:57:58,403
Well let's get inside the
boss is waiting for us.

1130
00:58:22,163 --> 00:58:24,803
Why did they want to see us all
together?

1131
00:58:24,843 --> 00:58:26,603
I'm sure you'll find out.

1132
00:58:42,404 --> 00:58:46,444
So what's the shit
about the fucking Turks?

1133
00:58:46,524 --> 00:58:47,924
Look it's just a simple

1134
00:58:47,924 --> 00:58:51,044
misunderstanding, it's nothing for
you to worry about.

1135
00:58:51,964 --> 00:58:55,684
I'm not worried Donald,
but maybe you should be.

1136
00:58:55,804 --> 00:58:58,364
I promise you it's all under control.

1137
00:58:58,564 --> 00:59:00,244
I don't want a blood bath

1138
00:59:00,284 --> 00:59:03,564
like the 1960s, do I make myself clear?

1139
00:59:05,084 --> 00:59:08,764
Thank you Sam, but in this instance

1140
00:59:08,884 --> 00:59:11,444
I think tea would be rather boring.

1141
00:59:12,724 --> 00:59:14,644
Anybody fancy some chifu?

1142
00:59:19,844 --> 00:59:22,684
Are you mad?
What talking shite about me like that?

1143
00:59:22,724 --> 00:59:24,284
I don't know what you're talking about.

1144
00:59:24,284 --> 00:59:26,444
What d'ya mean you don't know
what I'm talking about,

1145
00:59:26,484 --> 00:59:28,564
I'll end you right now.
What are you going on about?

1146
00:59:28,604 --> 00:59:30,884
What have I done now then?
You're going around telling...

1147
00:59:30,884 --> 00:59:33,484
Sam was spitting blood
that Danny had been spreading

1148
00:59:33,524 --> 00:59:35,564
malicious rumors about the Punch and
Judy

1149
00:59:35,604 --> 00:59:37,964
arsehole like a windsock incident.

1150
00:59:38,004 --> 00:59:41,524
Dan humbly apologised as he
thought Sam would take his head off.

1151
00:59:41,604 --> 00:59:44,484
Instead Sam said let bygones be bygones,

1152
00:59:44,484 --> 00:59:47,084
and offered to get us a few drinks,

1153
00:59:55,844 --> 00:59:58,244
The next minute the boys are sitting
back,

1154
00:59:58,244 --> 01:00:00,004
enjoying a nice cocktail of course,

1155
01:00:00,204 --> 01:00:02,724
what we didn't know
was that Sam spiked them.

1156
01:00:10,204 --> 01:00:12,444
Now don't get me wrong
it all started out lovely,

1157
01:00:12,484 --> 01:00:14,924
the boss was happy,
Don was delighted,

1158
01:00:14,924 --> 01:00:16,844
and all was good with the the world.

1159
01:00:19,804 --> 01:00:21,764
Sam even got on
with decks, it was blinding,

1160
01:00:21,804 --> 01:00:25,164
we began a party, the drinks began to
flow,

1161
01:00:25,244 --> 01:00:28,244
so did we, I mean literally.

1162
01:00:29,164 --> 01:00:30,764
Looking back we should have

1163
01:00:30,804 --> 01:00:32,324
clocked that things weren't right,

1164
01:00:34,124 --> 01:00:36,844
but then it's hard to
get a proper perspective

1165
01:00:36,884 --> 01:00:38,804
when you're tripping off your tits.

1166
01:00:40,004 --> 01:00:41,644
I felt amazing I was so

1167
01:00:41,684 --> 01:00:44,044
in touch with my feminine side that I

1168
01:00:44,124 --> 01:00:45,484
wanted to make myself pregnant.

1169
01:00:46,204 --> 01:00:49,804
We were all off our nuts,
at one point Marmite

1170
01:00:49,884 --> 01:00:52,124
was convinced Dan was
made out of rubber,

1171
01:00:52,484 --> 01:00:55,844
we later found out the boss made
Sam spike our drinks,

1172
01:00:56,204 --> 01:00:57,924
She wanted us to let our guard down,

1173
01:00:57,964 --> 01:01:01,524
and see if we let any information slip
which to be fair, would

1174
01:01:01,724 --> 01:01:04,364
have been a good plan
had any of us been

1175
01:01:04,364 --> 01:01:07,204
compos mentis, things went from the

1176
01:01:07,244 --> 01:01:09,044
sublime to the ridiculous,

1177
01:01:09,124 --> 01:01:12,164
apart from the daddy dancing
a fair bit of gurning,

1178
01:01:12,444 --> 01:01:15,084
Gilbert and Marmite thought
they were dogs and had to

1179
01:01:15,084 --> 01:01:17,364
be separated with a bucket of cold
water.

1180
01:01:20,124 --> 01:01:22,564
Things soon became a living nightmare,

1181
01:01:22,644 --> 01:01:25,044
a lunatic asylum,

1182
01:01:28,724 --> 01:01:31,764
Dan convinced himself he was
Beelzebub at the gates of hell,

1183
01:01:31,764 --> 01:01:34,124
after spewing up in Marmites hat,

1184
01:01:34,124 --> 01:01:36,124
Dan ran off, as you do,

1185
01:01:40,004 --> 01:01:41,764
he later told us he was convinced

1186
01:01:41,764 --> 01:01:43,524
he was being attacked by bees.

1187
01:01:45,724 --> 01:01:47,284
But not just any old bees,

1188
01:01:47,324 --> 01:01:48,964
these fuckers were ninja bees!

1189
01:01:49,164 --> 01:01:51,044
and so the saga continued.

1190
01:01:58,724 --> 01:02:02,484
Gilbert was certain he was an
Eastern European werewolf,

1191
01:02:03,844 --> 01:02:06,964
Marmike transformed into a border
terrier

1192
01:02:07,004 --> 01:02:09,564
and started chasing squirrels in the
woods

1193
01:02:11,404 --> 01:02:14,684
and as for me I was oblivious to it all,

1194
01:02:15,964 --> 01:02:18,444
I was swimming the English fucking
Channel.

1195
01:02:24,964 --> 01:02:26,764
It must be lovely having a
granddaughter,

1196
01:02:26,884 --> 01:02:29,484
what's her name?
Eclipse.

1197
01:02:29,804 --> 01:02:33,244
What a pretty name,
little cutie ain't ya.

1198
01:02:33,524 --> 01:02:35,484
I've got to say I honestly
think she's the most

1199
01:02:35,524 --> 01:02:36,964
beautiful baby I've ever seen.

1200
01:02:37,004 --> 01:02:40,244
You said four weeks Ray
it's only been two.

1201
01:02:40,364 --> 01:02:42,044
Well my personal financial

1202
01:02:42,084 --> 01:02:43,564
circumstances have changed.

1203
01:02:43,604 --> 01:02:46,844
I I just haven't got it yet...
please!

1204
01:02:46,884 --> 01:02:50,204
I like the hobs, murder
to clean though ain't they.

1205
01:02:50,724 --> 01:02:53,604
Have you seen someone
with third degree burns?

1206
01:02:53,644 --> 01:02:57,324
it's awful not just the pain, the scars,

1207
01:02:57,404 --> 01:02:59,364
it's terrible they don't look human.

1208
01:02:59,364 --> 01:03:02,404
Ray, I ain't got the money .

1209
01:03:02,524 --> 01:03:05,084
Oh well that's a shame
in'it cuz I reckon you

1210
01:03:05,124 --> 01:03:06,844
got about 4 minutes before I start

1211
01:03:06,884 --> 01:03:08,724
cooking your beautiful granddaughter.

1212
01:03:08,804 --> 01:03:11,684
RAY, STOP, I'll get a money right now

1213
01:03:11,804 --> 01:03:14,604
just stop, it's in the
bedroom, I'll get it.

1214
01:03:14,644 --> 01:03:16,124
No, they can get it.
Right okay Babe

1215
01:03:16,164 --> 01:03:18,404
remember what we talked about,

1216
01:03:18,444 --> 01:03:20,364
go and get them, go and get it, alright.

1217
01:03:20,444 --> 01:03:23,604
Aggie go and take the
baby in the bedroom,

1218
01:03:29,764 --> 01:03:31,324
You don't have to threaten me Ray,

1219
01:03:31,524 --> 01:03:33,124
I would have paid you the money.

1220
01:03:33,204 --> 01:03:35,524
That's the trouble, living
a champagne lifestyle,

1221
01:03:35,564 --> 01:03:37,444
on lemonade money, you know

1222
01:03:37,484 --> 01:03:39,924
apparently your old man
was a slag for pay out,

1223
01:03:40,884 --> 01:03:42,364
It's a shame when kids follow suit.

1224
01:03:42,484 --> 01:03:44,804
You don't threaten people's kids.

1225
01:03:45,604 --> 01:03:46,604
Ray!

1226
01:03:47,524 --> 01:03:50,564
Oh yeah, what are you going to do
with that then?

1227
01:03:55,164 --> 01:03:58,404
You come to me and my husband,
that's one thing you bastard,

1228
01:03:58,844 --> 01:04:02,764
but if you mess with my family,
you pushed me too far.

1229
01:04:19,844 --> 01:04:21,004
How much is that pal?

1230
01:04:21,204 --> 01:04:22,484
150 please mate.

1231
01:04:25,044 --> 01:04:26,724
What's he doing here?

1232
01:04:29,204 --> 01:04:30,444
Wait here.

1233
01:04:49,724 --> 01:04:51,484
NO!

1234
01:04:53,564 --> 01:04:56,044
How'd he die?
Gun shot,

1235
01:04:56,444 --> 01:04:57,484
three wounds.

1236
01:04:57,764 --> 01:04:58,764
Jesus!

1237
01:04:59,884 --> 01:05:02,924
Look Don, it looks like an
execution to us mate.

1238
01:05:03,724 --> 01:05:05,884
Have you got any idea,
who could have done it?

1239
01:05:06,884 --> 01:05:07,964
No.

1240
01:05:09,044 --> 01:05:10,724
When can you release the body?

1241
01:05:10,844 --> 01:05:14,444
I can't say Sandie it's an ongoing
investigation, I'm sorry.

1242
01:05:16,124 --> 01:05:18,524
You give us a moment?
Yeah of course.

1243
01:05:23,044 --> 01:05:24,444
Who would do this Don?

1244
01:05:24,644 --> 01:05:26,084
It's the fucking Turks.

1245
01:05:31,004 --> 01:05:33,644
In Don's mind, the Turks
had crossed the line,

1246
01:05:33,684 --> 01:05:34,804
when they killed Ray,

1247
01:05:35,444 --> 01:05:37,564
and things took a turn for the worst.

1248
01:05:38,524 --> 01:05:41,844
Don sent out his soldiers to do
the Turks some damage,

1249
01:05:43,444 --> 01:05:45,964
the whole thing was like some sureal
dream,

1250
01:05:46,124 --> 01:05:48,364
one minute I was Mr Selfie,

1251
01:05:48,404 --> 01:05:49,964
the next I was in the middle of a

1252
01:05:49,964 --> 01:05:51,164
fucking gang war.

1253
01:05:51,324 --> 01:05:55,844
That I started I had nowhere to turn,
it's not like I'm a celebrity,

1254
01:05:55,844 --> 01:06:00,204
get me out of here, this is real life.

1255
01:06:12,244 --> 01:06:14,204
It was kicking off everywhere, people
were

1256
01:06:14,244 --> 01:06:15,924
getting hit all over London.

1257
01:06:29,604 --> 01:06:32,644
This is fucked up, they killed
Ray because of us man.

1258
01:06:33,124 --> 01:06:34,564
we started a fucking war.

1259
01:06:34,884 --> 01:06:36,844
What are we going to do?

1260
01:06:37,044 --> 01:06:40,444
We just got to stick to the story mate,

1261
01:06:40,484 --> 01:06:41,804
just stick to the story and

1262
01:06:41,844 --> 01:06:44,484
we'll be all right yeah.
Yes Dan.

1263
01:06:44,484 --> 01:06:45,564
Come on...

1264
01:06:47,644 --> 01:06:48,644
...lads.

1265
01:06:53,644 --> 01:06:55,404
How many your eyes we got on the street?

1266
01:06:55,404 --> 01:06:58,244
10 of my crew Don.
I've got six at my best,

1267
01:06:58,244 --> 01:07:00,244
You two need to get to the safe house,

1268
01:07:00,284 --> 01:07:01,844
you both got targets on your back.

1269
01:07:02,124 --> 01:07:03,844
It's all over the Telly Dom.

1270
01:07:03,924 --> 01:07:05,644
Yeah, well we lay low for now right.

1271
01:07:05,644 --> 01:07:07,924
let the dust settle but
I'm telling all of ya,

1272
01:07:08,044 --> 01:07:11,124
you keep your wits about ya,
you stay on your guard right.

1273
01:07:11,204 --> 01:07:13,044
We all need to lock it off, we just got

1274
01:07:13,044 --> 01:07:14,724
to cover each other's backs.

1275
01:07:15,004 --> 01:07:16,804
Lets let them show their hand.

1276
01:07:41,244 --> 01:07:44,204
Going somewhere Lotta?
I want a word with you,

1277
01:07:44,404 --> 01:07:46,324
get in the fucking car.

1278
01:08:08,724 --> 01:08:10,204
Is that it?

1279
01:08:11,404 --> 01:08:13,364
Yes that's it, I've told you everything,

1280
01:08:13,404 --> 01:08:14,644
it was an accident,

1281
01:08:15,484 --> 01:08:16,524
I promise...

1282
01:08:18,564 --> 01:08:20,524
please let me go now!

1283
01:08:21,484 --> 01:08:22,604
You want to go?

1284
01:08:24,164 --> 01:08:28,364
Yes Mem please let me go.

1285
01:08:31,724 --> 01:08:33,764
Let her go.

1286
01:09:10,764 --> 01:09:12,564
This gets weirder by the minute,

1287
01:09:13,004 --> 01:09:14,924
we found these on top of the body,

1288
01:09:15,804 --> 01:09:19,604
message from the mafia sleeping
with the gap joes.

1289
01:09:20,604 --> 01:09:23,684
I'm not being Funny, he looks like
Moby Dick the geezer.

1290
01:09:24,724 --> 01:09:25,844
Shouldn't laugh really guv.

1291
01:09:26,004 --> 01:09:27,004
So what we got then.

1292
01:09:27,124 --> 01:09:32,844
Oh amateurs DNA fingerprints all over
the scene, we're running it now um,

1293
01:09:32,844 --> 01:09:35,484
the victim's name is a Mus River

1294
01:09:36,564 --> 01:09:39,644
one of the Turk Brothers, big family,

1295
01:09:39,764 --> 01:09:41,724
connected with an explosion
in South London,

1296
01:09:41,764 --> 01:09:43,284
a couple of fatal shootings.

1297
01:09:44,164 --> 01:09:45,884
This looks like a war to me guv.

1298
01:09:45,884 --> 01:09:48,524
As long as they kill themselves
I don't  really give a toss,

1299
01:09:48,524 --> 01:09:50,964
can you see what the DNA
turns up yeah.

1300
01:09:51,644 --> 01:09:55,004
So riffat.
Riffat yeah okay

1301
01:10:12,444 --> 01:10:14,084
Fancy a chip?

1302
01:10:18,204 --> 01:10:19,444
Drive the fucking car.

1303
01:10:36,164 --> 01:10:37,284
Dan.

1304
01:10:37,324 --> 01:10:40,364
Dan? DAN.
What?

1305
01:10:40,404 --> 01:10:42,684
I think it's them, I think
they know we're here.

1306
01:10:42,764 --> 01:10:44,364
Oh shit no it's an icecream van.

1307
01:10:44,364 --> 01:10:45,564
Fucks sake mate.

1308
01:10:47,044 --> 01:10:48,844
God damn it, it's times like this

1309
01:10:48,884 --> 01:10:50,564
you just wish, a quick year to pass,

1310
01:10:50,564 --> 01:10:52,404
or pray for something
lucky to happen, like

1311
01:10:52,444 --> 01:10:53,484
fall into a coma.

1312
01:10:53,484 --> 01:10:56,164
I'm going to fucking put you in one
Jack if you don't calm down,

1313
01:10:56,204 --> 01:10:57,564
seriously mate you're doing me

1314
01:10:57,604 --> 01:10:59,364
fucking 'ead in, stop touching the
curtains

1315
01:10:59,404 --> 01:11:01,244
the neighbours will
think we're having a sesh.

1316
01:11:01,284 --> 01:11:02,884
Fucking phone's ringing.

1317
01:11:02,924 --> 01:11:05,244
Who's that?
It's me Mum just shush.

1318
01:11:05,484 --> 01:11:08,124
Hello?
Alright son, yeah look something's

1319
01:11:08,124 --> 01:11:11,004
come up can you go and get
Jack and come to the yard,

1320
01:11:11,284 --> 01:11:13,804
it's pretty important so right away.

1321
01:11:14,524 --> 01:11:17,524
Yeah alright love ya.

1322
01:11:20,204 --> 01:11:21,804
They're on their way.

1323
01:11:25,564 --> 01:11:28,804
Please let me go now.
You want to go

1324
01:11:28,884 --> 01:11:30,404
Yes man let her go.

1325
01:11:33,724 --> 01:11:36,764
So that was that, game was up, the

1326
01:11:36,764 --> 01:11:40,724
curtains come down and I
was well and truly fucked.

1327
01:11:40,764 --> 01:11:41,844
it wasn't long before

1328
01:11:41,884 --> 01:11:43,924
Danny's Prints flagged up
and the DNA on

1329
01:11:43,964 --> 01:11:47,364
his shoes placed him in the
grave with Mus,

1330
01:11:48,764 --> 01:11:50,524
Danny was in deep shit,

1331
01:11:51,164 --> 01:11:54,204
even as an accessory he
could be facing life.

1332
01:11:55,964 --> 01:11:58,604
Remember when I said if it
all goes tits up,

1333
01:11:58,604 --> 01:12:01,284
you're on your own cast a drift at sea.

1334
01:12:01,324 --> 01:12:04,044
Shut up and let me tell you
how this is going to play out.

1335
01:12:04,724 --> 01:12:08,524
You want to hear nice things,
warm cuddly things

1336
01:12:08,564 --> 01:12:10,484
but I don't have time for that now,

1337
01:12:10,764 --> 01:12:13,964
Facts are, they have you bang to rights.
Yeah but...

1338
01:12:14,004 --> 01:12:16,764
I don't have time for you to talk
either,

1339
01:12:17,004 --> 01:12:20,804
just nod okay, nod when you understand,

1340
01:12:21,884 --> 01:12:25,884
Good one Fran, give me some.

1341
01:12:25,884 --> 01:12:27,964
It didn't take long for Don to find out

1342
01:12:27,964 --> 01:12:30,284
out who really killed Ray, word got out

1343
01:12:30,284 --> 01:12:32,924
Loose lips sink
ships and all that.

1344
01:12:33,004 --> 01:12:34,924
Who wants a drink?

1345
01:12:47,764 --> 01:12:49,004
Fucking hell!

1346
01:12:50,924 --> 01:12:52,764
Danny wasn't going to
take the fall for me.

1347
01:12:52,844 --> 01:12:54,324
So I had to own up,

1348
01:12:54,804 --> 01:12:58,484
Don made me do a confession tape
saying it was me who did Mus in,

1349
01:12:58,524 --> 01:13:01,484
and in return they'd get me
out of the country,

1350
01:13:01,524 --> 01:13:03,164
We can't thank you enough

1351
01:13:03,204 --> 01:13:06,364
for looking after Danny,
be safe and look after yourself,

1352
01:13:06,644 --> 01:13:08,444
we'll be in touch once the dust settles.

1353
01:13:08,564 --> 01:13:12,564
Here you go son, don't worry
everything's

1354
01:13:12,604 --> 01:13:14,044
going to be okay.

1355
01:13:26,284 --> 01:13:28,604
Don and Sadie were true to their word,

1356
01:13:28,684 --> 01:13:31,364
they set me up with a new identity and

1357
01:13:31,444 --> 01:13:33,684
and a lift out to a fishing boat, to
take

1358
01:13:33,684 --> 01:13:35,244
me across the channel.

1359
01:13:40,044 --> 01:13:44,084
So all's well that ends well,
but take a tip from me,

1360
01:13:44,124 --> 01:13:46,284
if you are texting someone

1361
01:13:46,284 --> 01:13:49,764
for fucks sake, don't miss the kiss!

1362
01:14:03,364 --> 01:14:09,644
Cheers guys, cheers.
I say this is to onward relationships.

1363
01:14:10,204 --> 01:14:12,084
Onward relationships.

1364
01:14:12,644 --> 01:14:15,124
Onward relationships.

1365
01:14:15,284 --> 01:14:17,724
We are ready for
that shipment....