1
00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:26,880
So obviously,

2
00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:28,680
you know, we're here, right?

3
00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:30,020
No, no, no.

4
00:00:30,540 --> 00:00:31,540
Yeah, I always say no.

5
00:00:32,420 --> 00:00:36,000
So I just got a call on my radio that
you're back in aisle nine.

6
00:00:37,430 --> 00:00:39,750
taking things, items, and putting them
in your purse?

7
00:00:40,690 --> 00:00:43,230
This is my mail bag. I was just
delivering some mail.

8
00:00:44,770 --> 00:00:49,090
Well, rain, sleet, even snow, but
apparently you're not delivering things.

9
00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:50,330
You're taking things this time.

10
00:00:50,690 --> 00:00:55,630
I didn't take anything. Well, you know
what? You won't have a problem checking

11
00:00:55,630 --> 00:00:56,630
that bag.

12
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:59,630
No, this is my personal item. I can't
touch things.

13
00:00:59,970 --> 00:01:00,839
All right, look.

14
00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:04,540
The other option here is I can just call
the police, and depending on what you

15
00:01:04,540 --> 00:01:07,000
have in there, it could be a felony, it
could be a misdemeanor, and I'm sure

16
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:11,720
that the post office won't have a
problem with you with a record

17
00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:14,140
So you might want to just let me look
through that back.

18
00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:16,640
Yeah, yeah.

19
00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:17,980
Go ahead.

20
00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:19,360
Go ahead.

21
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:20,680
No. Right.

22
00:01:21,140 --> 00:01:22,140
Exactly.

23
00:01:23,020 --> 00:01:25,260
Exactly. First, go ahead and stand up
for me.

24
00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:28,680
Get your hands out.

25
00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:30,440
How are you doing?

26
00:01:31,220 --> 00:01:35,300
Well, I'm going to have to scan you
here.

27
00:01:37,220 --> 00:01:39,040
I told you, I didn't steal anything.

28
00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:45,080
What?

29
00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:48,740
Yeah, well, that's not what this is.

30
00:01:49,940 --> 00:01:50,940
What do you mean?

31
00:01:51,060 --> 00:01:52,060
You wouldn't have a seat.

32
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,300
I expect more from you.

33
00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:15,080
Just as I thought. You wouldn't happen
to have a receipt for these items now,

34
00:02:15,220 --> 00:02:18,900
would you? I mean, I was just looking at
them and, you know, I was going to pay

35
00:02:18,900 --> 00:02:19,900
for it.

36
00:02:20,020 --> 00:02:24,720
I was going to pay for everything. Yeah,
well, fortunately the law is once you

37
00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:28,980
put it inside of a bag and conceal it,
then all bets are off.

38
00:02:29,780 --> 00:02:31,570
You... are now a stoplifter.

39
00:02:32,010 --> 00:02:36,950
Well, I'm sorry. I won't ever do it
again. No, no, you're probably right.

40
00:02:36,950 --> 00:02:43,350
going to stand up for me because,
obviously, you're going to need a

41
00:02:43,350 --> 00:02:48,630
search. Are you supposed to be touching
me like that?

42
00:02:49,890 --> 00:02:51,090
What are you doing?

43
00:02:51,390 --> 00:02:55,690
Well, you know, hey, listen, you've
forfeited your rights now that you're

44
00:02:55,910 --> 00:02:58,090
So, obviously, I'm...

45
00:02:59,060 --> 00:03:00,940
Picking up something. See, look, look.
What?

46
00:03:01,700 --> 00:03:08,100
I have nothing. Yeah, well, that's not
what my scanner's saying, so... Well,

47
00:03:08,140 --> 00:03:10,400
your scanner is broken or something. I
don't know.

48
00:03:11,140 --> 00:03:12,240
Never failed me before.

49
00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:13,480
Hey, listen.

50
00:03:13,700 --> 00:03:18,440
You have two options. You could either
let me, you know, go through a search

51
00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:23,240
here, or I can just call the police and
they can come and take care of it and...

52
00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:25,340
But I lose my job if you call the cops.

53
00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:28,380
Yeah, yeah, that's kind of what I
figured, so...

54
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:34,430
You agree to... I research you and...
You know, listen.

55
00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:36,450
It can stay right here.

56
00:03:36,730 --> 00:03:40,310
But a lot of that depends on how you
cooperate with me.

57
00:03:41,790 --> 00:03:47,310
Okay, if you have to. All right. If I
let you search me, you won't report me

58
00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:48,069
the cops, right?

59
00:03:48,070 --> 00:03:50,310
We'll talk about that. We'll talk about
that.

60
00:03:51,730 --> 00:03:54,150
Did I take my shirt off?

61
00:03:54,430 --> 00:03:56,210
Well, that's why they call it a strip
search.

62
00:04:07,140 --> 00:04:13,420
Listen, if you don't argue with me about
it, we'll just do it that way.

63
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:14,720
Oh, my God.

64
00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:22,960
This is government property, you know.
Yeah, well, you can explain that to him.

65
00:04:24,700 --> 00:04:25,700
What?

66
00:04:25,940 --> 00:04:30,440
Why do you have to take my pants off?
This is where my detector is going off.

67
00:04:32,140 --> 00:04:33,140
What are you doing?

68
00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:34,320
Hey, listen.

69
00:04:35,180 --> 00:04:36,540
Do you want me just to call the police?

70
00:04:36,780 --> 00:04:40,860
I can do that. If you're going to be
uncooperative, I can just have them take

71
00:04:40,860 --> 00:04:41,860
care of it.

72
00:04:43,820 --> 00:04:45,760
All right? Yeah, that's what I thought.

73
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:52,420
Listen, maybe you'll think about it next
time before you come into my store and

74
00:04:52,420 --> 00:04:53,420
start shopping with me.

75
00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:59,780
Do we have to do that? Yeah, we have to.

76
00:05:10,030 --> 00:05:11,030
I wouldn't say that.

77
00:05:16,970 --> 00:05:18,930
Do you even know how to take a bra off?

78
00:05:21,250 --> 00:05:23,830
Never for me.

79
00:05:30,150 --> 00:05:31,370
There's nothing in there.

80
00:05:31,630 --> 00:05:33,870
That's not what my detector's telling
me.

81
00:05:37,370 --> 00:05:38,430
This is crazy.

82
00:05:42,090 --> 00:05:43,270
get fully naked for this?

83
00:05:44,090 --> 00:05:46,290
Well, yeah, you're right. There's
nothing in there.

84
00:05:47,210 --> 00:05:48,950
But that's not what I'm concerned about.

85
00:05:56,890 --> 00:06:03,790
Even my

86
00:06:03,790 --> 00:06:05,750
shoes? Are you kidding?

87
00:06:06,010 --> 00:06:07,270
I have to check everything.

88
00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:15,320
Okay, are you satisfied?

89
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,400
Not even close.

90
00:06:20,820 --> 00:06:21,460
What

91
00:06:21,460 --> 00:06:36,940
are

92
00:06:36,940 --> 00:06:37,940
you doing back there?

93
00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:40,680
I'm just looking here.

94
00:06:41,500 --> 00:06:42,640
I'm going to have to...

95
00:06:43,660 --> 00:06:45,040
Going a little bit deeper.

96
00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:47,340
What? Why?

97
00:06:47,780 --> 00:06:50,420
Because this is where I feel like there
may be something.

98
00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:57,160
People go to no end in order to be able
to steal from my store.

99
00:06:57,700 --> 00:07:01,380
You really think I would put something
up there?

100
00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:05,300
Well, there's only one way to find out.

101
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:07,960
Okay, are you done?

102
00:07:08,540 --> 00:07:09,960
Not by a long shot.

103
00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:25,940
Okay, I think that, I think that, is
there anything in there? There's nothing

104
00:07:25,940 --> 00:07:26,859
there.

105
00:07:26,860 --> 00:07:32,480
Well, I don't know. I need to be a
little, be a little better here.

106
00:07:44,020 --> 00:07:45,840
Okay, have you found what you're looking
for?

107
00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:52,180
I'm definitely finding what I'm looking
for. Anyway, give me a little hand back

108
00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:55,940
here. Just pull this back a little bit.
Yeah, exactly.

109
00:07:58,340 --> 00:08:02,900
Are you looking for my ovaries or
something?

110
00:08:03,940 --> 00:08:05,840
I'm definitely finding what I like.

111
00:08:06,380 --> 00:08:08,500
I mean, I'm still searching.

112
00:08:25,610 --> 00:08:26,409
What was that?

113
00:08:26,410 --> 00:08:27,410
Nothing.

114
00:08:40,890 --> 00:08:44,250
Are you good back there?

115
00:08:45,030 --> 00:08:46,110
I'm very good.

116
00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:02,660
That's a nice little wedding ring you
have there.

117
00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:04,480
Well, yes, that's because I'm married.

118
00:09:05,580 --> 00:09:06,580
Wow.

119
00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:10,280
Your husband knows that you're such a
deviant?

120
00:09:10,820 --> 00:09:12,980
Don't talk about my husband right now,
please.

121
00:09:14,780 --> 00:09:15,780
I don't.

122
00:09:16,580 --> 00:09:19,000
I wonder what he would think about all
this.

123
00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:21,040
Perhaps we should call him, too.

124
00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:28,660
Can you just get this over with, please?
Ah, we're getting over with.

125
00:09:30,060 --> 00:09:31,680
It's just going to take a little time.

126
00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:45,340
Well, certainly of interest, but I
didn't find anything right

127
00:09:45,340 --> 00:09:47,520
there. I told you, there's nothing up
there.

128
00:09:47,900 --> 00:09:49,580
Well, you should go ahead.

129
00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:50,800
So are we done?

130
00:09:52,060 --> 00:09:53,520
We're not done by a long shot.

131
00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:54,720
Okay.

132
00:09:58,699 --> 00:10:00,960
What do you think? I stuffed something
in my boobs?

133
00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:03,100
Well, we're going to find out now,
aren't we?

134
00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:09,560
Oh, yeah.

135
00:10:13,340 --> 00:10:20,100
You know, this could go a lot quicker if
you just cooperate.

136
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:21,820
I'm cooperating.

137
00:10:22,820 --> 00:10:23,820
I mean, yeah.

138
00:10:28,110 --> 00:10:29,110
I'm so humiliated.

139
00:10:30,090 --> 00:10:37,010
I have a couple options for you. What is
that? Option one, you can help

140
00:10:37,010 --> 00:10:43,970
me out and I can let you walk out of

141
00:10:43,970 --> 00:10:48,750
here. Okay, and what do I have to do so
I can walk out of here?

142
00:10:49,010 --> 00:10:51,790
Well, you want to get off, right?

143
00:10:52,170 --> 00:10:53,950
Yeah. So do I.

144
00:10:54,870 --> 00:10:55,870
What's option two?

145
00:10:56,780 --> 00:10:59,840
I can call the police and they can come
arrest you, you lose your job, have a

146
00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:00,840
jail record.

147
00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:02,760
It's up to you.

148
00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:05,560
It's really up to you.

149
00:11:05,820 --> 00:11:06,820
But I'm married.

150
00:11:07,540 --> 00:11:09,780
Yeah, well, so am I.

151
00:11:10,860 --> 00:11:13,340
But what they don't know, I won't hurt
them.

152
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:15,760
But I know.

153
00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:21,960
Yeah, a little infidelity or a criminal
record.

154
00:11:22,180 --> 00:11:24,420
Okay. True choice. But you get a
promise, no problem.

155
00:11:24,810 --> 00:11:25,489
No police.

156
00:11:25,490 --> 00:11:26,870
No cops. They're not going to call my
job.

157
00:11:27,190 --> 00:11:29,190
Nothing like that. Nobody will ever find
out.

158
00:11:30,950 --> 00:11:32,870
Okay. All right? All right.

159
00:11:37,370 --> 00:11:38,370
Oh.

160
00:11:38,630 --> 00:11:39,630
Okay.

161
00:11:40,030 --> 00:11:41,570
So, do you have an understanding?

162
00:11:42,070 --> 00:11:43,070
Yeah.

163
00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:47,930
Yeah. I don't want to lose my benefits.
There you

164
00:11:47,930 --> 00:11:51,790
go.

165
00:11:53,430 --> 00:11:54,800
You know what? Yeah.

166
00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:14,260
Oh you're good.

167
00:13:57,790 --> 00:13:58,910
Oh, yeah.

168
00:14:05,090 --> 00:14:06,630
Oh, that's right.

169
00:14:07,350 --> 00:14:08,350
Oh,

170
00:14:12,290 --> 00:14:13,290
that's right.

171
00:14:13,690 --> 00:14:14,910
Oh, that's so good.

172
00:14:31,330 --> 00:14:33,190
Get that going right there.

173
00:15:26,090 --> 00:15:27,090
Oh, yes.

174
00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:28,510
Uh -huh.

175
00:15:28,890 --> 00:15:29,910
Oh, that's right.

176
00:15:30,990 --> 00:15:32,590
Yeah, so you just keep going.

177
00:15:33,110 --> 00:15:34,730
How much longer do I have to do this?

178
00:15:35,770 --> 00:15:38,470
I can get you off as soon as you get me
off.

179
00:15:48,550 --> 00:15:53,170
Do you know what?

180
00:15:53,550 --> 00:15:55,150
What? Go ahead. Stand up for me.

181
00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:57,080
Okay. Can I go?

182
00:15:58,660 --> 00:16:00,200
No, not quite yet.

183
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:07,640
I need to check my cavity a little

184
00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:08,640
deeper.

185
00:19:23,150 --> 00:19:24,150
Oh, sorry.

186
00:19:25,390 --> 00:19:26,390
Ooh.

187
00:20:41,770 --> 00:20:42,770
Go ahead, jump up there.

188
00:21:28,590 --> 00:21:29,590
It makes me feel so good

189
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:07,960
Yeah, give it to me.

190
00:23:08,180 --> 00:23:11,140
Here, let me take a look. Yes. Oh.

191
00:23:11,620 --> 00:23:14,140
Oh. Oh. Here.

192
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:17,220
Oh. Oh. Here.

193
00:23:18,900 --> 00:23:19,900
Yes.

194
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:22,020
Yes. Oh.

195
00:23:22,500 --> 00:23:23,500
Oh.

196
00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:26,160
Oh. Oh.

197
00:23:26,500 --> 00:23:27,780
Oh, shit.

198
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:33,620
Oh. Oh. Oh. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't.
Don't. Don't.

199
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:34,640
Ugh.

200
00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:25,920
You know,

201
00:25:29,780 --> 00:25:30,860
you need to do some of this work.

202
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:34,000
Come back over here.

203
00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:35,180
Back on this couch.

204
00:30:34,860 --> 00:30:36,560
You said government workers are lazy.

205
00:31:44,910 --> 00:31:45,910
Oh, yeah.

206
00:31:46,150 --> 00:31:47,210
Oh, yeah.

207
00:31:48,310 --> 00:31:49,450
Oh, yeah.

208
00:31:50,270 --> 00:31:51,690
Oh, yeah.

209
00:31:51,930 --> 00:31:52,930
Oh, yeah.

210
00:31:52,990 --> 00:31:54,250
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

211
00:33:18,730 --> 00:33:19,930
Did you take that home to your husband?

212
00:33:21,170 --> 00:33:22,170
Yeah.

213
00:33:24,430 --> 00:33:25,430
So,

214
00:33:26,430 --> 00:33:27,430
are we good?

215
00:33:27,630 --> 00:33:28,790
You go. Get out of my store.

216
00:33:29,010 --> 00:33:30,430
What am I supposed to do, like this?

217
00:33:32,290 --> 00:33:33,850
Can I at least get my clothes?

218
00:33:34,050 --> 00:33:35,070
Yeah, yeah. You go ahead.