1
00:00:47,642 --> 00:00:50,100
ASTERIX
and THE MIDDLE KINGDOM
2
00:00:52,558 --> 00:00:54,517
The year is 50 BC.
3
00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:57,433
All of Gaul
is under Roman occupation.
4
00:00:57,767 --> 00:00:58,767
All of it?
5
00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:00,142
No!
6
00:01:00,225 --> 00:01:02,600
One village of indomitable Gauls
7
00:01:02,767 --> 00:01:05,850
keeps up the good fight
against the invader.
8
00:01:06,017 --> 00:01:09,517
And life is not easy
for the Roman legionaries
9
00:01:09,683 --> 00:01:14,850
in their camps at Totorum,
Aquarium, Laudanum and Compendium.
10
00:01:17,683 --> 00:01:20,433
What I love in life
11
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,600
Is wandering day and night
12
00:01:23,767 --> 00:01:26,225
In the forest what's really fun
13
00:01:26,392 --> 00:01:29,433
Is going for a wander with my chum
14
00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:30,683
It rhymes.
15
00:01:31,142 --> 00:01:33,100
Obelix, our lifestyle isn't healthy.
16
00:01:34,142 --> 00:01:35,308
Too much meat.
17
00:01:36,558 --> 00:01:38,017
- Too much meat?
- Sure.
18
00:01:38,183 --> 00:01:40,308
Wild boar
for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
19
00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:41,558
Supper, too!
20
00:01:41,725 --> 00:01:43,308
Not to mention ale.
21
00:01:43,642 --> 00:01:45,392
It can't be good for us.
22
00:01:45,558 --> 00:01:47,308
What else is there to eat?
23
00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:51,100
I don't know.
We could try balancing it out with...
24
00:01:51,558 --> 00:01:52,600
vegetables.
25
00:01:54,267 --> 00:01:55,267
Veg...
26
00:01:55,433 --> 00:01:56,600
Vegetables?
27
00:02:02,183 --> 00:02:04,350
You make me laugh, Asterix.
28
00:02:05,350 --> 00:02:06,475
Hear him, Dogmatix?
29
00:02:07,183 --> 00:02:09,933
Imagine chewing a stick of celery,
not a bone!
30
00:02:10,100 --> 00:02:11,100
Vegetables!
31
00:02:11,725 --> 00:02:12,808
You can laugh.
32
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:16,892
I honestly don't see the point
of ruining our health.
33
00:02:17,225 --> 00:02:18,892
Same with the magic potion.
34
00:02:19,350 --> 00:02:21,558
Could be, it's bad for our systems.
35
00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:23,892
Where's the data, honestly? Where?
36
00:02:24,350 --> 00:02:26,475
Above all, do we really need it?
37
00:02:29,058 --> 00:02:29,850
You okay?
38
00:02:30,017 --> 00:02:31,100
No, I'm not okay.
39
00:02:31,308 --> 00:02:34,392
I'm just saying,
throwing in a mixed salad, mushrooms...
40
00:02:34,558 --> 00:02:37,350
Chestnuts!
When they're in season, obviously.
41
00:02:43,100 --> 00:02:46,058
You snagged one already.
Leave the poor things alone.
42
00:02:53,975 --> 00:02:55,517
Peek-a-boo, loopy loolas!
43
00:02:58,850 --> 00:02:59,558
Ave!
44
00:02:59,725 --> 00:03:02,683
Sorry, we're lost.
Who knew we're so near the village?
45
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,767
Me. I kept telling you.
46
00:03:05,683 --> 00:03:06,725
- Didn't.
- Did.
47
00:03:06,892 --> 00:03:09,225
And you said, "To hell with the Gauls!
48
00:03:09,392 --> 00:03:10,767
"They get up my nose.
49
00:03:10,933 --> 00:03:13,058
"They can shove their menhirs."
50
00:03:14,308 --> 00:03:15,558
I'm a terrible liar.
51
00:03:17,058 --> 00:03:18,267
Leave this to me.
52
00:03:19,225 --> 00:03:21,308
I'll show you I don't need this.
53
00:03:23,892 --> 00:03:25,267
Strength is here.
54
00:03:25,725 --> 00:03:26,725
And here.
55
00:03:27,475 --> 00:03:30,058
Take a seat, sit tight
and enjoy the show.
56
00:03:33,808 --> 00:03:34,808
Hello.
57
00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:42,142
Stupid helmet! I blame the helmet.
58
00:03:42,308 --> 00:03:43,600
You plan to step in?
59
00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:45,183
No, not allowed.
60
00:03:54,517 --> 00:03:55,517
Help me, silly!
61
00:03:55,642 --> 00:03:56,642
Harder!
62
00:04:14,892 --> 00:04:15,892
Not fair!
63
00:04:17,642 --> 00:04:18,642
Cheat!
64
00:04:19,225 --> 00:04:22,142
Not at all. Without it, same result.
65
00:04:28,933 --> 00:04:30,225
You don't have to.
66
00:04:31,517 --> 00:04:32,517
I do.
67
00:05:14,183 --> 00:05:15,475
Where is everyone?
68
00:05:16,058 --> 00:05:17,225
It's hardly fresh.
69
00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:18,975
- And you are?
- What?
70
00:05:19,142 --> 00:05:20,183
No, nothing.
71
00:05:20,517 --> 00:05:23,600
Getafix, he won't let me smoke
my boar in the house.
72
00:05:23,767 --> 00:05:26,850
Just because
Mr Asterix has decided to quit
73
00:05:27,017 --> 00:05:28,267
doesn't mean I have to.
74
00:05:28,433 --> 00:05:29,558
Panacea!
75
00:05:30,267 --> 00:05:31,267
Panacea!
76
00:05:32,725 --> 00:05:33,808
Morning, girls.
77
00:05:34,392 --> 00:05:35,975
- Coming to the market?
- Yes!
78
00:05:38,933 --> 00:05:39,975
Hi, Panacea.
79
00:05:40,142 --> 00:05:41,142
Hi, Obelix.
80
00:05:43,517 --> 00:05:44,975
I just wanted to say...
81
00:05:46,725 --> 00:05:49,725
I carved this menhir thinking of you.
It's a gift.
82
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,308
Sweet, but what use is it to me?
83
00:05:56,517 --> 00:05:57,517
See you.
84
00:06:00,017 --> 00:06:01,142
She refused it.
85
00:06:02,058 --> 00:06:03,225
She refused my menhir.
86
00:06:03,392 --> 00:06:05,642
Obviously. It weighs a ton.
87
00:06:05,808 --> 00:06:08,100
What use is it?
Put it on her finger?
88
00:06:08,267 --> 00:06:09,267
Getafix, your sickle.
89
00:06:09,433 --> 00:06:10,808
Thanks, Fulliautomatix.
90
00:06:10,975 --> 00:06:11,975
Slow down.
91
00:06:14,725 --> 00:06:15,725
Say...
92
00:06:19,767 --> 00:06:22,475
Asterix has the right
to change his diet.
93
00:06:22,767 --> 00:06:23,933
Not everyone else's.
94
00:06:24,892 --> 00:06:26,183
Getafix, what's wrong?
95
00:06:29,892 --> 00:06:30,683
I'm sinking.
96
00:06:30,850 --> 00:06:31,850
You're sinking?
97
00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:33,392
It must be quicksand.
98
00:06:33,558 --> 00:06:36,058
There is no quicksand in the region.
99
00:06:36,767 --> 00:06:38,808
If you ask me, someone needs to know.
100
00:06:39,725 --> 00:06:40,767
Chariot ahoy!
101
00:06:41,475 --> 00:06:43,225
Chariot ahoy!
102
00:06:46,558 --> 00:06:47,558
Excuse me.
103
00:06:48,558 --> 00:06:52,058
Some nights,
my voice just wants to scream
104
00:06:52,392 --> 00:06:53,808
Shut it, will you!
105
00:07:00,017 --> 00:07:02,017
For once, I had a customer.
106
00:07:02,183 --> 00:07:03,850
For once, you have fresh fish!
107
00:07:04,017 --> 00:07:06,058
What? My fish isn't fresh?
108
00:07:13,392 --> 00:07:14,433
I'll take a look.
109
00:07:37,517 --> 00:07:40,808
For Louise and Marcel
110
00:07:41,308 --> 00:07:42,308
Hold still.
111
00:07:42,392 --> 00:07:44,975
Bankruptis, already here?
It's not autumn.
112
00:07:45,142 --> 00:07:46,142
You were hit?
113
00:07:46,183 --> 00:07:49,100
- Where's your uncle?
- Quiet, for goodness' sake!
114
00:07:49,433 --> 00:07:51,308
My friends, how are you?
115
00:07:51,725 --> 00:07:54,183
I come from China to ask for help.
116
00:07:54,892 --> 00:07:55,892
It's nuts!
117
00:07:56,183 --> 00:07:57,225
Why are you blond?
118
00:07:57,392 --> 00:07:58,433
I was going to say.
119
00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:00,975
I'm a Gaul, all right?
Always have been.
120
00:08:01,142 --> 00:08:02,642
Please... No slip-ups.
121
00:08:02,808 --> 00:08:04,517
No slip-ups, I'm begging you.
122
00:08:04,683 --> 00:08:05,725
I'll explain. Come on.
123
00:08:16,850 --> 00:08:17,850
That one...
124
00:08:18,308 --> 00:08:19,725
The beautiful girl fast asleep
125
00:08:19,892 --> 00:08:21,100
is a princess.
126
00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:24,350
Named Sa See.
Daughter of the Empress of China.
127
00:08:26,767 --> 00:08:28,392
You do know where China is?
128
00:08:31,058 --> 00:08:32,683
- Two princesses!
- Actually, no.
129
00:08:32,850 --> 00:08:34,725
That's her bodyguard. Miss Tik.
130
00:08:35,392 --> 00:08:38,517
Believe me, she's insane.
Smashed everyone on the way.
131
00:08:38,683 --> 00:08:41,517
She smashed Scythians,
smashed Parthians, smashed Huns!
132
00:08:42,225 --> 00:08:43,600
A beautiful woman.
133
00:08:43,850 --> 00:08:46,308
A female bodyguard?
Don't make me laugh!
134
00:08:46,475 --> 00:08:47,808
Go ahead, laugh.
135
00:08:48,225 --> 00:08:51,308
Share with us
your Alpha male experience.
136
00:08:52,475 --> 00:08:54,517
Alpha male, just try to touch her.
137
00:08:54,975 --> 00:08:56,517
- Be my guest.
- All right.
138
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:03,725
There you go!
139
00:09:28,475 --> 00:09:29,808
You drank potion?
140
00:09:30,433 --> 00:09:31,433
No.
141
00:09:32,142 --> 00:09:33,225
I don't get it.
142
00:09:33,433 --> 00:09:35,350
I get what's going on.
143
00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:38,392
And you'd better stop right now.
144
00:09:38,558 --> 00:09:41,683
Princess and I
are more than friends, see?
145
00:09:42,392 --> 00:09:43,517
- You are?
- We are.
146
00:09:44,100 --> 00:09:45,100
Princess...
147
00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:49,517
We have arrived.
148
00:09:53,142 --> 00:09:54,308
What is all this?
149
00:09:55,058 --> 00:09:57,100
- It's the chief!
- Run!
150
00:09:57,642 --> 00:10:00,225
Vitalstatistix
is chief of all us Gauls.
151
00:10:02,142 --> 00:10:03,850
Glad to see you, by Toutatis!
152
00:10:04,642 --> 00:10:07,642
Where's your Uncle Ekonomikrisis?
His silk scarves are too small.
153
00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:08,933
Really?
154
00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:11,308
He said they'd loosen up. I look loose?
155
00:10:11,475 --> 00:10:12,642
- No.
- He's a crook!
156
00:10:13,808 --> 00:10:15,642
He sent me. Let me explain.
157
00:10:16,142 --> 00:10:18,600
Allow me to introduce Princess Sa See,
158
00:10:18,767 --> 00:10:21,225
daughter of the Empress of China.
159
00:10:23,350 --> 00:10:24,683
Who's she?
160
00:10:24,892 --> 00:10:26,558
- Thanks, Bankruptis.
- You're welcome.
161
00:10:26,933 --> 00:10:30,683
Great Chief Vitalstatistix,
let me explain the reasons for my visit.
162
00:10:31,017 --> 00:10:32,600
Getafix, is China far?
163
00:10:32,892 --> 00:10:35,642
Yes, it's where the sun rises. That way.
164
00:10:41,892 --> 00:10:45,058
Since the Princess's story
could be very, very long,
165
00:10:45,225 --> 00:10:46,892
and not devoid of emotion,
166
00:10:47,058 --> 00:10:50,058
allow me to give you a potted version.
167
00:10:50,225 --> 00:10:52,850
The Princess lives with her mother,
the Empress,
168
00:10:53,017 --> 00:10:56,183
who reigns with difficulty,
since her husband's death,
169
00:10:56,350 --> 00:10:57,933
over her nation's six kingdoms.
170
00:10:58,100 --> 00:11:02,808
Beloved by her people, the Empress
is confronted by ambitious princes,
171
00:11:02,975 --> 00:11:05,142
who secretly covet her throne.
172
00:11:06,350 --> 00:11:09,892
The trouble began
on the birthday of Princess Sa See,
173
00:11:10,058 --> 00:11:11,808
whom you met in the village.
174
00:11:11,975 --> 00:11:13,517
So this is a flashback.
175
00:11:18,225 --> 00:11:19,475
Another vase?
176
00:11:21,392 --> 00:11:24,392
Each year, same deal.
Who's interested in Chinese vases?
177
00:11:24,558 --> 00:11:28,517
I'm 20 today, and never left this palace.
Just gardens and guards!
178
00:11:28,683 --> 00:11:30,683
Sa See, for your security, you know...
179
00:11:30,850 --> 00:11:35,225
Father promised to take me to Lutetia.
Its shops, its taverns...
180
00:11:35,392 --> 00:11:36,808
I want to see Gaul.
181
00:11:37,308 --> 00:11:40,642
We discussed this.
It's dangerous to travel so far.
182
00:11:40,808 --> 00:11:41,933
The answer is no.
183
00:11:43,350 --> 00:11:44,850
Here, open this one.
184
00:11:46,642 --> 00:11:49,767
It's a coin with your head on it.
Newly minted.
185
00:11:50,433 --> 00:11:51,850
To buy a dress in Lutetia?
186
00:11:52,933 --> 00:11:53,933
Sa See!
187
00:12:01,058 --> 00:12:02,517
Prince Deng Tsin Quin...
188
00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:08,600
I hear you raised taxes again
in your kingdom,
189
00:12:08,767 --> 00:12:10,475
while your people endures famine.
190
00:12:10,642 --> 00:12:12,225
If I may, Your Majesty,
191
00:12:12,392 --> 00:12:16,267
Julius Caesar levied taxes
across the Roman world, and it works!
192
00:12:16,433 --> 00:12:18,933
No pain, no pleasure,
as they say back home.
193
00:12:19,308 --> 00:12:20,308
Who is he?
194
00:12:20,433 --> 00:12:23,183
Pu Nee, my new strategic advisor.
195
00:12:23,350 --> 00:12:26,267
In Rome,
he wielded power and influence.
196
00:12:26,850 --> 00:12:30,225
Put the Chinese people
before bad Roman advice.
197
00:12:30,808 --> 00:12:33,183
Naturally, Your Imperial Majesty.
198
00:12:34,183 --> 00:12:35,225
Before I leave,
199
00:12:35,392 --> 00:12:38,017
have you considered
my marriage proposal?
200
00:12:38,308 --> 00:12:39,725
I spoke with Princess Sa See.
201
00:12:39,892 --> 00:12:40,892
And?
202
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:42,808
It made us laugh.
203
00:12:45,850 --> 00:12:47,475
Make a woman laugh and...
204
00:12:49,558 --> 00:12:50,558
Sorry.
205
00:12:50,975 --> 00:12:53,725
If it made Your Majesty
and her daughter laugh,
206
00:12:53,892 --> 00:12:55,183
then so be it.
207
00:13:01,433 --> 00:13:02,433
Miss Tik...
208
00:13:05,767 --> 00:13:07,225
My faithful warrior,
209
00:13:07,767 --> 00:13:09,058
fetch my daughter.
210
00:13:32,725 --> 00:13:34,183
This is China.
211
00:13:34,767 --> 00:13:37,892
The Chinese love all things Gaul,
so we're Gauls. Simple.
212
00:13:38,058 --> 00:13:40,433
For a Phoenecian,
it's humiliating, Ekonomikrisis.
213
00:13:41,725 --> 00:13:42,808
Ekonomikrisix!
214
00:13:42,975 --> 00:13:44,933
Get it into your head!
215
00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:47,517
You guys are Premix and Overmix.
216
00:13:47,933 --> 00:13:49,183
We are Gauls.
217
00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:50,350
Gotix?
218
00:13:50,392 --> 00:13:52,600
As usual, we make all the efforts.
219
00:13:52,892 --> 00:13:53,892
Only you?
220
00:13:57,017 --> 00:13:57,600
Laugh?
221
00:13:57,767 --> 00:13:58,558
You're laughing?
222
00:13:58,725 --> 00:14:00,892
Am I laughing about going blond?
223
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:04,058
Grab those papyri
and hit the streets. Move!
224
00:14:04,225 --> 00:14:06,183
Go, yalla! I mean, let's go.
225
00:14:06,350 --> 00:14:08,183
Put those helmets on! There!
226
00:14:08,683 --> 00:14:09,767
Let's go!
227
00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:11,183
China is ours!
228
00:14:12,850 --> 00:14:13,892
No snooping.
229
00:14:14,517 --> 00:14:15,892
You need help?
230
00:14:16,058 --> 00:14:17,475
Touch it, buy it. Golden rule.
231
00:14:18,392 --> 00:14:19,683
They're genuine Louboutix?
232
00:14:20,142 --> 00:14:21,350
"They're genuine Louboutix?"
233
00:14:21,517 --> 00:14:24,058
Of course they are. Look at the sole!
234
00:14:24,225 --> 00:14:27,975
As red as the price tag.
If you can't afford them, try Diskountos.
235
00:14:29,767 --> 00:14:32,225
Give my stall some space. Scram!
236
00:14:33,683 --> 00:14:34,808
You nincompoop!
237
00:14:35,683 --> 00:14:37,058
Sorry, Her Majesty.
238
00:14:37,225 --> 00:14:38,683
Sorry for my nephew.
239
00:14:38,850 --> 00:14:41,392
He has his mother's temper.
240
00:14:41,558 --> 00:14:43,017
True, everybody says so.
241
00:14:43,308 --> 00:14:45,850
Of course, for you,
sandals are on the house.
242
00:14:46,017 --> 00:14:48,100
I'll take them out of his wages.
243
00:14:48,267 --> 00:14:50,267
- That hurt.
- Yup. Your fault.
244
00:14:50,433 --> 00:14:52,433
Ekonomikrisix, at your service.
245
00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:54,808
No one shakes hands here.
246
00:14:54,975 --> 00:14:56,517
- No one.
- Not one.
247
00:14:56,683 --> 00:14:59,517
A most regrettable mistake, Princess.
248
00:15:00,308 --> 00:15:01,308
Gorgeous.
249
00:15:03,725 --> 00:15:05,267
Bankruptix, the nephew.
250
00:15:05,808 --> 00:15:07,517
I have my mother's temper.
251
00:15:07,683 --> 00:15:08,683
As well as...
252
00:15:09,433 --> 00:15:10,433
her eyes.
253
00:15:13,350 --> 00:15:14,892
I envy you your blond hair.
254
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:18,767
I had no choice, Princess.
I was born this way.
255
00:15:18,933 --> 00:15:20,558
Nature decided for me.
256
00:15:20,933 --> 00:15:22,475
Your Imperial Majesty,
257
00:15:22,975 --> 00:15:27,892
if you'd care to forgive us
and taste our famous nectar from Gaul,
258
00:15:28,058 --> 00:15:29,225
the honour's all ours.
259
00:15:30,392 --> 00:15:31,392
Come in.
260
00:15:32,517 --> 00:15:33,558
A great vintage.
261
00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:36,767
To celebrate
the great and majestic empress.
262
00:15:38,225 --> 00:15:39,933
On the nose, fruity notes.
263
00:15:40,475 --> 00:15:41,558
There's sunshine.
264
00:15:42,517 --> 00:15:43,933
There's pine and shade.
265
00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:46,100
I'm getting hints of chestnut.
266
00:15:46,267 --> 00:15:47,350
Bananas.
267
00:15:47,767 --> 00:15:48,767
And dates.
268
00:15:49,142 --> 00:15:52,142
Overall, more fruit salad than wine.
269
00:15:56,517 --> 00:15:57,808
I want Gaul of it
270
00:16:07,392 --> 00:16:08,392
I'll take the lot.
271
00:16:11,892 --> 00:16:13,017
Perfumes from Gaul?
272
00:16:13,183 --> 00:16:14,975
But of course, Princess.
273
00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:16,933
All our perfumes come from Gaul.
274
00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:18,683
Like me and my sales team.
275
00:16:19,933 --> 00:16:21,600
This is the latest creation
276
00:16:21,767 --> 00:16:23,683
that every Gaul lady would die for.
277
00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:24,850
Amphor.
278
00:16:24,933 --> 00:16:25,933
Amphor?
279
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:27,642
I adore!
280
00:16:27,808 --> 00:16:28,975
I adore, too.
281
00:16:29,142 --> 00:16:30,350
Archers! Loose!
282
00:16:30,517 --> 00:16:31,517
Watch out!
283
00:16:39,433 --> 00:16:40,808
Sa See, are you hurt?
284
00:16:40,975 --> 00:16:42,225
No, mother, I'm fine.
285
00:16:42,392 --> 00:16:43,392
Anything broken?
286
00:16:43,433 --> 00:16:44,933
No, I'm fine.
287
00:16:45,100 --> 00:16:46,308
I meant the stock.
288
00:16:46,683 --> 00:16:47,392
Nice.
289
00:16:47,558 --> 00:16:48,808
Hey, Empress!
290
00:16:48,975 --> 00:16:50,142
Come out, hands up!
291
00:16:50,475 --> 00:16:52,392
And no one will get hurt.
292
00:16:52,933 --> 00:16:53,975
You're encircled.
293
00:16:54,142 --> 00:16:55,350
And slanted!
294
00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:00,308
You said "encircled",
like eyes with makeup.
295
00:17:00,475 --> 00:17:01,850
And I added "And..."
296
00:17:06,183 --> 00:17:07,267
There's another exit?
297
00:17:07,433 --> 00:17:08,933
Yes. My secret passage.
298
00:17:09,100 --> 00:17:10,850
In case customs raid...
299
00:17:11,017 --> 00:17:12,642
I mean, in case of fire.
300
00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:14,350
It's the fire escape.
301
00:17:15,267 --> 00:17:17,433
Miss Tik, take my daughter and go.
302
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:19,267
No, mother. Flee with us.
303
00:17:19,433 --> 00:17:21,392
The Empress of China does not flee. Go!
304
00:17:21,558 --> 00:17:23,100
The traitor wants you.
305
00:17:23,558 --> 00:17:24,558
Let's go.
306
00:17:26,017 --> 00:17:27,475
- Bye, Princess.
- Stop it!
307
00:17:27,642 --> 00:17:30,683
I'll stay. A good merchant
never abandons his merchandise.
308
00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:32,183
Like a ship's captain.
309
00:17:34,225 --> 00:17:35,517
Go home and fetch the others.
310
00:17:35,683 --> 00:17:36,892
What? Uncle Mahmood?
311
00:17:37,058 --> 00:17:38,725
No! Our other home.
312
00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:40,058
- That home?
- That home!
313
00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:41,225
It's miles away!
314
00:17:41,308 --> 00:17:42,308
So get going!
315
00:17:43,475 --> 00:17:44,475
No, wait!
316
00:17:45,058 --> 00:17:46,683
Take good care of the princess.
317
00:17:46,850 --> 00:17:48,267
We are not losing this sale.
318
00:17:48,433 --> 00:17:51,808
Just imagine.
You're saving the Princess of China.
319
00:17:59,392 --> 00:18:00,725
I'll work it out later.
320
00:18:00,892 --> 00:18:01,975
Take care, unc!
321
00:18:07,017 --> 00:18:09,058
I trained in Phoenician boxing.
322
00:18:09,225 --> 00:18:10,225
Leave this to me.
323
00:18:11,183 --> 00:18:13,433
So you guys are harassing the ladies?
324
00:18:18,950 --> 00:18:20,825
I went in there and...
325
00:18:21,992 --> 00:18:23,075
What happened?
326
00:18:23,242 --> 00:18:24,950
You got kicked in the head.
327
00:18:25,617 --> 00:18:27,325
All right, I get it now.
328
00:18:27,492 --> 00:18:29,408
So who's laughing now, Empress?
329
00:18:29,575 --> 00:18:31,617
Excuse me a second, who are you?
330
00:18:31,783 --> 00:18:34,950
I don't get any of this.
I'm confused, totally lost.
331
00:18:36,033 --> 00:18:37,950
- Well?
- The Princess has vanished.
332
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,575
If she's hiding, she's a smart cookie!
333
00:18:41,033 --> 00:18:42,950
A shifty little fish!
334
00:18:44,158 --> 00:18:45,158
Scour the kingdom!
335
00:18:45,283 --> 00:18:46,658
Offer a handsome reward!
336
00:18:46,825 --> 00:18:49,950
I want her alive
at our magnificent forced marriage!
337
00:18:52,533 --> 00:18:53,950
I know my daughter.
338
00:18:54,283 --> 00:18:55,658
She'll come for revenge.
339
00:18:55,825 --> 00:18:58,867
Scary!
A spoilt little girl who never left home.
340
00:18:59,033 --> 00:19:01,075
- That's my wife you're talking about.
- Sorry.
341
00:19:01,242 --> 00:19:05,075
I'm sorry too.
I'm so confused, totally lost!
342
00:19:05,242 --> 00:19:07,075
I'll have you beheaded, Empress.
343
00:19:07,242 --> 00:19:10,075
No, there'll be no beheading.
It's rude, sir.
344
00:19:10,242 --> 00:19:12,867
Yes, Deng Tsin Quin,
you can't kill the Empress.
345
00:19:13,325 --> 00:19:14,325
What?
346
00:19:14,408 --> 00:19:17,450
It's tricky.
The other 4 kingdoms' princes hate you.
347
00:19:17,617 --> 00:19:19,992
They claim you're not Emperor material.
348
00:19:20,158 --> 00:19:23,242
They say you are
"physically unbecoming with a tiny..."
349
00:19:23,408 --> 00:19:25,200
- Nonsense.
- No, army!
350
00:19:25,492 --> 00:19:27,825
A tiny army.
The tiniest of all of them.
351
00:19:27,992 --> 00:19:29,742
In combat, it's hopeless.
352
00:19:29,908 --> 00:19:32,492
Your impudence suggests you have a plan.
353
00:19:32,825 --> 00:19:33,825
Naturally.
354
00:19:34,450 --> 00:19:35,450
My idea...
355
00:19:37,992 --> 00:19:39,700
Take them away!
Let's go!
356
00:19:39,867 --> 00:19:40,950
Take it easy!
357
00:19:41,117 --> 00:19:43,783
Easy! Mind the Empress
and my wares.
358
00:19:44,158 --> 00:19:45,492
China is ours!
359
00:20:17,742 --> 00:20:19,242
Princess, it'll be fine.
360
00:20:19,408 --> 00:20:20,408
I'm here for you.
361
00:20:21,325 --> 00:20:22,325
I'm here.
362
00:20:24,700 --> 00:20:26,158
Don't worry. We'll help you.
363
00:20:26,617 --> 00:20:29,867
Everyone knows that we Gauls
just love to help.
364
00:20:30,033 --> 00:20:31,033
No!
365
00:20:33,367 --> 00:20:34,408
Not a chance.
366
00:20:34,992 --> 00:20:37,200
Was it just me
or did her story drag on?
367
00:20:38,658 --> 00:20:42,658
By Benelos, how come folks
always come asking us for help?
368
00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:44,658
Vitalstatistix,
369
00:20:44,825 --> 00:20:46,033
it's a tradition
370
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:48,200
for us to help those in need.
371
00:20:48,783 --> 00:20:50,825
Not forgetting Bankrup...
372
00:20:51,617 --> 00:20:52,617
Tis.
373
00:20:52,825 --> 00:20:53,825
Bankruptix.
374
00:20:54,408 --> 00:20:55,783
The answer's no. There!
375
00:20:55,950 --> 00:20:57,283
It's often been yes.
376
00:20:57,492 --> 00:20:58,492
But it's no.
377
00:20:58,950 --> 00:21:00,325
I'm not feeling it.
378
00:21:00,492 --> 00:21:01,825
China's unknown to us.
379
00:21:01,992 --> 00:21:03,575
We don't know where it is.
380
00:21:03,742 --> 00:21:04,533
Sure we do.
381
00:21:04,700 --> 00:21:05,700
Even I know.
382
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:08,783
It's the way where the sun rises.
383
00:21:09,575 --> 00:21:10,867
Stumped him.
384
00:21:11,367 --> 00:21:12,992
I don't know and I decide.
385
00:21:13,158 --> 00:21:15,033
Great Chief, I respect your decision.
386
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,575
I depart to save my mother and country.
387
00:21:17,992 --> 00:21:18,992
Princess!
388
00:21:21,658 --> 00:21:22,867
I'm up for it.
389
00:21:23,408 --> 00:21:26,117
And anyway, I'm free right now.
390
00:21:27,325 --> 00:21:28,617
I'm free too.
391
00:21:29,075 --> 00:21:30,367
I want to go too.
392
00:21:30,533 --> 00:21:32,533
You two! Who's in the chair?
393
00:21:33,908 --> 00:21:35,575
You're chief now?
394
00:21:35,867 --> 00:21:37,658
Discussion over. It's no.
395
00:21:37,825 --> 00:21:39,700
Are you out of your mind?
396
00:21:40,575 --> 00:21:42,117
Some village chief!
397
00:21:42,492 --> 00:21:44,325
Ignoring a damsel's tears.
398
00:21:44,617 --> 00:21:46,325
- Mimenta...
- Don't Mimenta me!
399
00:21:46,700 --> 00:21:49,200
- Welcome our Chinese friends!
- Yup.
400
00:21:49,617 --> 00:21:50,825
You and your Gaul!
401
00:21:51,450 --> 00:21:53,075
All because it's too far?
402
00:21:53,242 --> 00:21:54,950
As if you'd be going!
403
00:21:56,408 --> 00:21:58,742
No, it's Asterix and Obelix, as usual.
404
00:22:00,408 --> 00:22:02,658
If some idiot
writes our history one day,
405
00:22:02,825 --> 00:22:06,117
the title will never be
The Adventures of Vitalstatistix the Gaul.
406
00:22:06,283 --> 00:22:07,908
Dogmatix travels more than you.
407
00:22:08,783 --> 00:22:09,867
Hear that, Dogmatix?
408
00:22:12,700 --> 00:22:13,825
Stones fired!
409
00:22:13,992 --> 00:22:17,242
Magic potion for the boys
in the village, you're in.
410
00:22:17,408 --> 00:22:19,742
But anything more delicate, you're out?
411
00:22:28,992 --> 00:22:29,992
All right, go.
412
00:22:33,075 --> 00:22:34,783
Thank you. Heartfelt thanks.
413
00:22:35,617 --> 00:22:39,075
So you're starting on a journey
414
00:22:39,950 --> 00:22:42,158
So we're parting tonight
415
00:22:43,950 --> 00:22:45,492
My heart has turned to...
416
00:22:45,950 --> 00:22:46,950
jelly
417
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:59,075
Meanwhile, in the eternal,
beautifully irrigated city of Rome,
418
00:22:59,242 --> 00:23:02,200
Julius Caesar,
in his magnificent palace,
419
00:23:02,367 --> 00:23:05,658
lives in domestic bliss
with the powerful Queen of Egypt,
420
00:23:05,825 --> 00:23:08,283
sublime, dulcet Cleopatra.
421
00:23:08,450 --> 00:23:09,950
I've had it up to here!
422
00:23:10,117 --> 00:23:12,867
Know what? I've had it up to here!
423
00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:19,617
May I ask what you're doing?
424
00:23:19,783 --> 00:23:22,117
Packing my trunks and heading home.
425
00:23:22,283 --> 00:23:24,283
Why didn't I listen to Mummy?
426
00:23:25,408 --> 00:23:28,200
Now it's over, I can tell you.
There's another man.
427
00:23:28,617 --> 00:23:29,658
What do you mean?
428
00:23:31,367 --> 00:23:32,783
You can't be serious.
429
00:23:34,117 --> 00:23:36,200
What do you mean, another man?
430
00:23:36,867 --> 00:23:39,533
What is this? Infidelitatis?
431
00:23:39,700 --> 00:23:40,700
Nailed it.
432
00:23:42,658 --> 00:23:43,658
And...
433
00:23:45,117 --> 00:23:47,950
May I ask
for whom you leave mighty Caesar?
434
00:23:49,408 --> 00:23:50,533
Tabascos!
435
00:23:52,033 --> 00:23:52,700
Tabascos?
436
00:23:52,867 --> 00:23:53,867
The Greek?
437
00:23:57,533 --> 00:23:59,408
Tabascos the Greek!
438
00:23:59,867 --> 00:24:02,492
So you'd leave mighty Caesar
439
00:24:04,117 --> 00:24:06,033
to shack up with a gym teacher?
440
00:24:07,700 --> 00:24:10,492
Well, we'll discuss this
after the lions.
441
00:24:11,492 --> 00:24:13,450
I forbid you to harm him.
442
00:24:14,492 --> 00:24:16,033
I love him, you hear?
443
00:24:16,825 --> 00:24:17,825
You love him?
444
00:24:19,242 --> 00:24:20,367
You love him?
445
00:24:21,992 --> 00:24:23,617
What's he got that I don't?
446
00:24:23,867 --> 00:24:25,492
He's an international gymnast.
447
00:24:25,658 --> 00:24:28,117
Outside Rome and Gaul,
you're a complete unknown.
448
00:24:30,283 --> 00:24:32,367
A complete unknown? Julius Caesar?
449
00:24:33,033 --> 00:24:36,742
Fine. You have international ambitions?
Go with your athlete.
450
00:24:37,075 --> 00:24:39,408
Let the Greek tsat your ziki!
451
00:24:41,158 --> 00:24:42,908
May I, O Caesar?
452
00:24:43,075 --> 00:24:45,742
Minor marital contretemps. All settled.
453
00:24:46,575 --> 00:24:50,492
Speak, Slius Foxxus,
devious and unsightly advisor of mine.
454
00:24:50,658 --> 00:24:51,408
Ave, Caesar!
455
00:24:51,575 --> 00:24:54,325
Your perspicacity captures me perfectly.
456
00:25:02,575 --> 00:25:04,325
May I introduce Pu Nee,
457
00:25:04,492 --> 00:25:08,825
envoy of Prince Deng Tsin Quin,
the new master of China.
458
00:25:08,992 --> 00:25:12,450
How does an empire so big
have an advisor so small?
459
00:25:13,242 --> 00:25:15,783
Size doesn't matter, skill does, Caesar.
460
00:25:15,950 --> 00:25:17,575
Some men have neither.
461
00:25:21,033 --> 00:25:22,158
She's a looker.
462
00:25:22,533 --> 00:25:23,617
Well, half-pint?
463
00:25:23,992 --> 00:25:27,325
I come to offer you
the riches of my adopted land
464
00:25:27,492 --> 00:25:29,867
in return for modest military support.
465
00:25:30,242 --> 00:25:33,492
Your land? Even great Alexander
abandoned the conquest of China.
466
00:25:33,658 --> 00:25:38,075
A great opportunity to expand my empire.
Your empire, O Caesar!
467
00:25:38,242 --> 00:25:39,742
I have conquered enough.
468
00:25:39,908 --> 00:25:43,158
My name will go down
in the annals of history.
469
00:25:43,325 --> 00:25:45,825
I love when you say that. Love it!
470
00:25:45,992 --> 00:25:48,200
What a way with words. Right?
471
00:25:48,533 --> 00:25:50,783
Biopix, my Gallician biographer.
472
00:25:51,158 --> 00:25:54,450
How inspiring is the fabulous tale
of almighty Caesar!
473
00:25:54,617 --> 00:25:55,908
Vade retro, both of you.
474
00:25:56,075 --> 00:25:57,575
Caesar, may I point out,
475
00:25:57,742 --> 00:25:59,700
in terms of going down in history,
476
00:25:59,867 --> 00:26:01,950
in China, you are unknown.
477
00:26:02,367 --> 00:26:03,575
What was I saying?
478
00:26:05,242 --> 00:26:06,783
That's quite enough!
479
00:26:08,283 --> 00:26:10,700
I, Julius Caesar,
man of a thousand conquests?
480
00:26:10,867 --> 00:26:12,075
Unknown?
481
00:26:12,450 --> 00:26:13,450
Alas!
482
00:26:25,033 --> 00:26:26,492
He speaks the truth.
483
00:26:26,658 --> 00:26:27,783
In China, at least.
484
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:30,325
It's all good, don't worry.
485
00:26:31,033 --> 00:26:34,283
Pu Nee, step forward
to discuss our alliance
486
00:26:34,783 --> 00:26:35,783
with your land
487
00:26:35,950 --> 00:26:38,117
that will soon know my name!
488
00:26:40,492 --> 00:26:43,908
Explain clearly.
Be sure not to toss Caesar a salad.
489
00:26:48,283 --> 00:26:50,700
I swapped your clunker
for something tougher.
490
00:26:50,867 --> 00:26:54,033
That's what I call a chariot. Unbeatable!
On loan from cousin Turbo.
491
00:26:54,533 --> 00:26:55,992
I added boar stomachs.
492
00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:59,575
A kind of air cushion to absorb shocks.
493
00:27:00,783 --> 00:27:01,867
The sunroof!
494
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:04,283
You know what?
495
00:27:04,450 --> 00:27:05,950
I made a perfect chariot.
496
00:27:06,325 --> 00:27:07,325
Magnificent.
497
00:27:11,700 --> 00:27:12,700
Let's go!
498
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:16,242
Princess, if you'd care to board.
499
00:27:20,533 --> 00:27:21,533
Too bad.
500
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:24,533
We'll have a great trip.
501
00:27:26,450 --> 00:27:29,742
Asterix, I made you
a flask of magic potion,
502
00:27:29,908 --> 00:27:33,117
but Obelix tells me you don't need it,
so I...
503
00:27:33,533 --> 00:27:34,992
No, that's fine.
504
00:27:37,908 --> 00:27:39,033
But just in case.
505
00:27:40,700 --> 00:27:41,950
I'm cutting down.
506
00:27:42,117 --> 00:27:44,408
Watch out, I beefed it up.
507
00:27:50,575 --> 00:27:51,617
You had some?
508
00:27:52,908 --> 00:27:54,533
No, just a quick taste.
509
00:27:54,867 --> 00:27:55,908
Just to see.
510
00:27:58,658 --> 00:27:59,908
Good luck, Princess.
511
00:28:00,658 --> 00:28:01,700
As for you two,
512
00:28:02,075 --> 00:28:03,908
be brave, reckless
513
00:28:04,075 --> 00:28:06,492
and disingenuous. In a word...
514
00:28:06,992 --> 00:28:07,992
Be Gauls!
515
00:28:10,117 --> 00:28:11,242
Hold on tight.
516
00:28:11,617 --> 00:28:14,450
It'll be much faster
than on the way here.
517
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:19,533
Sorry but can I just point out,
518
00:28:20,242 --> 00:28:24,117
the bard's role is to celebrate heroes
and their exploits?
519
00:28:25,658 --> 00:28:27,825
If I never travel, what am I?
520
00:28:29,367 --> 00:28:30,367
Excellent idea.
521
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:32,700
Cacophonix will go with...
522
00:28:37,783 --> 00:28:39,325
They forgot me.
523
00:28:40,158 --> 00:28:43,075
They forgot me!
524
00:28:48,700 --> 00:28:51,950
And so, at high speed,
our friends head south,
525
00:28:52,117 --> 00:28:55,533
favouring the maritime route that,
according to Getafix,
526
00:28:55,700 --> 00:28:57,617
is faster than the Silk Road.
527
00:28:58,492 --> 00:29:00,992
Having rowed across the Mediterranean,
528
00:29:01,158 --> 00:29:02,367
thanks to Obelix,
529
00:29:02,533 --> 00:29:04,617
they reach northern Africa.
530
00:29:11,283 --> 00:29:12,700
Rub and wring.
531
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:15,158
Miss Tik, I asked to learn kung fu.
532
00:29:18,075 --> 00:29:19,200
Rub...
533
00:29:20,242 --> 00:29:21,408
and wring.
534
00:29:28,367 --> 00:29:29,575
No, not again.
535
00:29:31,158 --> 00:29:32,992
All good? Enjoying the show?
536
00:29:33,158 --> 00:29:35,867
Want a beer? A chair?
Coming right up.
537
00:29:36,992 --> 00:29:39,533
Not coming up! What are you doing?
538
00:29:39,700 --> 00:29:40,700
Same as you.
539
00:29:41,158 --> 00:29:42,492
She knows you peep?
540
00:29:42,658 --> 00:29:43,950
I might tell her.
541
00:29:47,700 --> 00:29:48,700
Sublime!
542
00:29:49,408 --> 00:29:51,158
She's learning to do laundry
543
00:29:51,325 --> 00:29:54,742
to prepare for her new, tougher life
in Gaul with me.
544
00:29:55,742 --> 00:29:58,450
A Chinese princess in Gaul?
With those hicks?
545
00:29:58,617 --> 00:29:59,867
Don't make me laugh.
546
00:30:00,075 --> 00:30:03,075
When I say Sa See and I are together,
you turn deaf?
547
00:30:03,242 --> 00:30:06,408
- You're not together.
- We are together. Six months now.
548
00:30:06,575 --> 00:30:07,575
Really?
549
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:09,325
No way!
550
00:30:09,533 --> 00:30:11,283
My friends, once and for all,
551
00:30:11,450 --> 00:30:14,408
Sa See and I are serious.
It's love. And marriage.
552
00:30:15,658 --> 00:30:17,658
- Congrats, Bankruptis.
- Thank you.
553
00:30:17,825 --> 00:30:19,492
I love weddings. Love them.
554
00:30:19,658 --> 00:30:21,408
- With a banquet?
- Of course.
555
00:30:21,575 --> 00:30:23,742
Know what? You'll be my best man.
556
00:30:24,575 --> 00:30:26,867
Thank you.
I was never anyone's best man.
557
00:30:27,325 --> 00:30:29,825
Can you stop being so gullible?
558
00:30:29,992 --> 00:30:31,158
It gets annoying.
559
00:30:31,450 --> 00:30:33,783
- If they're in love, don't blame me.
- Yup.
560
00:30:33,950 --> 00:30:35,283
They're not in love.
561
00:30:35,450 --> 00:30:37,867
If Sa See isn't with anyone,
she's with no one.
562
00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:39,200
It's on.
563
00:30:39,242 --> 00:30:42,367
I can't wait to see her face
when I tell her...
564
00:30:43,117 --> 00:30:45,283
You're a phony Gaul and fake blonde.
565
00:30:45,450 --> 00:30:49,700
Yeah? Well, I can't wait to see her face
when I tell her your moustache...
566
00:30:49,867 --> 00:30:51,200
What about it?
567
00:30:51,367 --> 00:30:52,492
Your moustache...
568
00:30:53,658 --> 00:30:54,658
sucks.
569
00:30:57,950 --> 00:30:58,950
So lame.
570
00:31:01,700 --> 00:31:02,700
I went too far.
571
00:31:02,742 --> 00:31:03,825
Not the moustache!
572
00:31:03,992 --> 00:31:05,367
I know but he pushes me.
573
00:31:05,533 --> 00:31:07,325
Sure but not the moustache!
574
00:31:08,325 --> 00:31:09,325
What's he doing?
575
00:31:09,867 --> 00:31:12,200
Unbelievable! He's snitching on us!
576
00:31:12,575 --> 00:31:14,325
He's something else, your friend!
577
00:31:14,492 --> 00:31:15,658
She's coming our way.
578
00:31:18,158 --> 00:31:19,158
What's up?
579
00:31:19,325 --> 00:31:22,367
Nothing.
We're just looking for a date.
580
00:31:23,492 --> 00:31:24,575
For the wedding.
581
00:31:24,742 --> 00:31:26,367
No, to eat. The fruit!
582
00:31:26,533 --> 00:31:27,533
At the wedding.
583
00:31:27,617 --> 00:31:28,825
No, to eat here.
584
00:31:28,992 --> 00:31:30,200
I'm the best man!
585
00:31:30,533 --> 00:31:33,117
He's impossible. He talks nonsense.
586
00:31:34,575 --> 00:31:35,658
Yes, let's go.
587
00:31:37,700 --> 00:31:39,992
Is it so hard
to let me do the talking?
588
00:31:46,325 --> 00:31:47,492
'Night, Smartypants!
589
00:31:49,075 --> 00:31:50,617
'Night, Two-Faced Friend!
590
00:31:52,242 --> 00:31:53,408
'Night, Veggie Lover!
591
00:31:53,867 --> 00:31:56,658
Veggies are yummy. So yummy!
592
00:31:56,825 --> 00:31:58,367
'Night, Fake Blonde!
593
00:31:58,950 --> 00:32:00,867
Can't you just say goodnight?
594
00:32:01,992 --> 00:32:02,992
It was him.
595
00:32:03,117 --> 00:32:04,283
'Night, Miss Tik.
596
00:32:10,617 --> 00:32:12,658
You think Mother's still alive?
597
00:32:13,117 --> 00:32:16,158
The Empress
is the daughter of the heavens.
598
00:32:16,658 --> 00:32:18,242
No harm can come to her.
599
00:32:21,700 --> 00:32:24,033
'Night, I'm In Love
and can't admit it!
600
00:32:24,367 --> 00:32:27,825
'Night, Poppycock
who's so fat that he's all belly!
601
00:32:27,992 --> 00:32:31,658
'Night, Lonesome Gaul,
so alone like a tiny insect!
602
00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:32,908
Enough!
603
00:32:33,075 --> 00:32:33,783
Yes.
604
00:32:33,950 --> 00:32:34,950
Sorry.
605
00:32:55,117 --> 00:32:57,283
Hello, how are you?
606
00:32:57,742 --> 00:32:59,033
Good trip?
607
00:33:14,908 --> 00:33:17,908
Your daughter's vanished.
We looked too long in a land too big.
608
00:33:18,075 --> 00:33:20,533
Hello perhaps? There's two of us.
609
00:33:21,158 --> 00:33:23,992
When military support arrives,
off with your head.
610
00:33:24,158 --> 00:33:28,408
I remember now.
You're the guy who loves beheading folks.
611
00:33:28,575 --> 00:33:29,575
You too, merchant.
612
00:33:30,117 --> 00:33:32,783
No, leave me out of this.
We really need to...
613
00:33:32,950 --> 00:33:34,242
Balls for you!
614
00:33:39,242 --> 00:33:40,242
Day one.
615
00:33:40,867 --> 00:33:43,992
When no balls are left,
if the princess won't show,
616
00:33:45,617 --> 00:33:46,617
you two...
617
00:33:49,450 --> 00:33:50,492
We have two lives.
618
00:33:50,658 --> 00:33:53,617
The second begins when we see
we have only one.
619
00:33:55,275 --> 00:33:56,275
I thank you.
620
00:34:00,025 --> 00:34:01,900
That's what I call an Empress.
621
00:34:02,525 --> 00:34:03,358
Love it.
622
00:34:03,525 --> 00:34:06,067
We have two lives and it ends when...
623
00:34:06,233 --> 00:34:08,400
The second life begins with...
624
00:34:09,983 --> 00:34:12,817
We have two lives
and when they begin...
625
00:34:13,650 --> 00:34:14,650
I thank you.
626
00:34:21,442 --> 00:34:22,442
Meanwhile,
627
00:34:22,525 --> 00:34:25,317
Caesar, his immense army and Pu Nee
628
00:34:25,483 --> 00:34:28,775
travel the Silk Road,
headed at top speed for China.
629
00:34:29,150 --> 00:34:30,233
Or almost.
630
00:34:31,817 --> 00:34:32,983
This is the Silk Road?
631
00:34:33,150 --> 00:34:35,400
We're lost, aren't we? Just admit it.
632
00:34:36,108 --> 00:34:38,108
Woopsus, what is this route?
633
00:34:38,608 --> 00:34:40,900
At least 9,000 men struck northwards.
634
00:34:41,067 --> 00:34:42,567
I can't work like this.
635
00:34:42,733 --> 00:34:44,108
It's just impossible!
636
00:34:44,900 --> 00:34:46,733
Join the army, they said!
637
00:34:50,942 --> 00:34:53,025
Woopsus, your call, left or right?
638
00:34:53,192 --> 00:34:55,108
Easy-peasy papyrus, Caesar. Left.
639
00:34:55,275 --> 00:34:56,442
So we'll go right.
640
00:34:56,983 --> 00:34:59,942
Sorry, will this go on long?
Left-right, right-left...
641
00:35:00,108 --> 00:35:02,692
We'll reach China on the 12th of Never.
642
00:35:03,233 --> 00:35:04,233
The upstart!
643
00:35:04,317 --> 00:35:05,942
Hail! Risklus, imperial security.
644
00:35:06,692 --> 00:35:08,400
Risklus, imperial security.
645
00:35:10,858 --> 00:35:14,067
Risklus! Everyone knows you here.
Where is Antivirus?
646
00:35:14,483 --> 00:35:16,233
Still on the campaign in Milan.
647
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:18,233
He's not reading my pigeons.
648
00:35:19,983 --> 00:35:21,150
Caesar, I'm here.
649
00:35:22,150 --> 00:35:24,900
- It's not the same.
- Not at all the same.
650
00:35:25,067 --> 00:35:26,192
What do you want?
651
00:35:26,733 --> 00:35:30,192
Almighty Caesar,
Carioca, head dancer, wants an audience.
652
00:35:30,358 --> 00:35:33,025
She has demands.
For respect or something.
653
00:35:33,192 --> 00:35:34,192
I beat her?
654
00:35:34,817 --> 00:35:35,817
Are you nuts?
655
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:37,442
Show her in.
656
00:35:40,775 --> 00:35:41,775
Tapioca!
657
00:35:48,233 --> 00:35:50,275
So, Carioca, what do you want?
658
00:35:50,692 --> 00:35:54,233
Caesar, we received new outfits
and what do we see?
659
00:35:54,608 --> 00:35:56,400
Shorter than ever. What a surprise!
660
00:35:58,567 --> 00:36:01,150
If you want go-go taverns,
Rome is full of them.
661
00:36:01,858 --> 00:36:03,192
I'm sure I have no idea.
662
00:36:03,358 --> 00:36:05,858
Sure! The Palladium near the market.
663
00:36:06,025 --> 00:36:07,733
Or there's Sternum, or Scrotum.
664
00:36:07,900 --> 00:36:08,900
Right...
665
00:36:09,900 --> 00:36:13,150
So, what do you want?
Longer outfits for your dancers?
666
00:36:13,317 --> 00:36:14,317
It's a start.
667
00:36:14,358 --> 00:36:18,525
And let's talk
about the role of women in Roman society.
668
00:36:18,775 --> 00:36:21,692
Look closely
and it's all about men here.
669
00:36:21,858 --> 00:36:23,400
Gladiators? Men.
670
00:36:23,567 --> 00:36:24,900
Senators? Men only.
671
00:36:25,067 --> 00:36:26,525
Legionaries? Men only.
672
00:36:26,692 --> 00:36:28,275
Caesars? Men only.
673
00:36:28,733 --> 00:36:30,400
You want a Julia Caesar?
674
00:36:34,233 --> 00:36:35,900
You want Rome run by a woman?
675
00:36:38,358 --> 00:36:39,358
I see.
676
00:36:47,692 --> 00:36:49,358
Back to our friends.
677
00:36:49,525 --> 00:36:54,442
After crossing the Egyptian desert
in sweltering heat,
678
00:36:54,608 --> 00:36:58,317
they reach the Red Sea
and the city of Klysma,
679
00:36:58,483 --> 00:37:02,358
a small Egyptian port,
later known as Suez.
680
00:37:02,525 --> 00:37:03,775
Yes, like the canal.
681
00:37:09,900 --> 00:37:13,567
If we want a captain,
I guarantee we'll find one here.
682
00:37:14,317 --> 00:37:17,025
Look, Asterix,
the tavern's called Little Lutetia.
683
00:37:17,483 --> 00:37:23,608
Dare to come and cast the first stone
684
00:37:26,858 --> 00:37:29,317
To fall for one head over heels
685
00:37:29,483 --> 00:37:31,192
leaves a wound that never heals
686
00:37:31,358 --> 00:37:35,442
But the love you feel is the real deal
687
00:37:38,650 --> 00:37:41,233
So don't be harsh or disapprove
688
00:37:41,900 --> 00:37:44,692
When a woman falls in love
689
00:37:46,692 --> 00:37:49,025
- You don't know it.
- I know it by heart.
690
00:37:49,192 --> 00:37:51,858
With a man who sweeps her off her feet
691
00:37:58,192 --> 00:37:59,817
See? That's Gaul for you!
692
00:37:59,983 --> 00:38:01,317
I love this place.
693
00:38:01,650 --> 00:38:03,817
Exactly how I pictured Lutetia.
694
00:38:05,775 --> 00:38:06,775
Same here.
695
00:38:11,733 --> 00:38:14,108
That's so good! You're a Gaul for sure.
696
00:38:14,483 --> 00:38:16,400
Yes, duckie. Born and bred.
697
00:38:16,650 --> 00:38:19,275
- You've lived here long?
- Donkey's years.
698
00:38:19,442 --> 00:38:21,358
I had a small cabaret in Lutetia.
699
00:38:21,525 --> 00:38:25,317
A hotspot, raking it in,
but I fell for a fella,
700
00:38:25,483 --> 00:38:27,692
a lowlife
who wanted me as his floozy.
701
00:38:27,858 --> 00:38:29,692
And to clean me out!
702
00:38:30,567 --> 00:38:33,025
So who took her dosh
and hightailed it here?
703
00:38:33,192 --> 00:38:35,525
Yours truly. Tipsy, that's me!
704
00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:38,150
What brings you blondies here?
705
00:38:38,525 --> 00:38:40,692
Looking for the best ship's captain.
706
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:42,775
He's your man. Titanix!
707
00:38:44,942 --> 00:38:45,942
He's reliable?
708
00:38:46,275 --> 00:38:49,025
Titanix is top-notch. Unsinkable!
709
00:38:49,983 --> 00:38:51,317
Thanks for your help, Tipsy.
710
00:38:51,483 --> 00:38:52,692
Anything for a Gaul!
711
00:38:53,733 --> 00:38:55,358
Normally, mutts stay outside.
712
00:38:55,525 --> 00:38:57,025
But you're a real cutie.
713
00:39:03,567 --> 00:39:05,817
We're looking for a boat to China.
714
00:39:05,983 --> 00:39:08,650
China by sea? Too much hassle.
715
00:39:09,525 --> 00:39:10,983
Here's what I got for you...
716
00:39:11,150 --> 00:39:12,817
A quick visit of the coves of Klysma,
717
00:39:12,983 --> 00:39:16,067
all-you-can-eat and swimming,
plus the sunset.
718
00:39:17,150 --> 00:39:18,150
Tasty.
719
00:39:19,775 --> 00:39:21,067
Another time.
720
00:39:21,233 --> 00:39:23,400
This is worth more than your boat.
721
00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:25,942
Why didn't you say so?
722
00:39:26,442 --> 00:39:27,525
So how's it...
723
00:39:27,692 --> 00:39:30,567
You think I'll stand by
and let you extort me?
724
00:39:30,733 --> 00:39:33,192
Get out before I get out my cudgel!
725
00:39:33,733 --> 00:39:35,775
Tipsy's steaming up. Trouble ahoy.
726
00:39:35,942 --> 00:39:36,983
A problem, Tipsy?
727
00:39:37,150 --> 00:39:39,567
These gents want
to dip into my pockets.
728
00:39:39,733 --> 00:39:43,567
They'll get a dose of their own medicine.
Nobody messes with Tipsy.
729
00:39:44,942 --> 00:39:47,150
Lightweights! Fooling with a Gaul.
730
00:39:47,317 --> 00:39:49,192
What do you want with the lady?
731
00:39:50,275 --> 00:39:51,400
You're the lightweight.
732
00:39:56,817 --> 00:39:57,817
Screwy.
733
00:39:57,942 --> 00:39:59,108
Princess, in Gaul,
734
00:39:59,275 --> 00:40:01,858
when heavyweights run their mouths off,
735
00:40:02,733 --> 00:40:04,900
flyweights don't listen.
736
00:40:32,858 --> 00:40:33,858
He's a lizard!
737
00:40:41,858 --> 00:40:42,858
What is this?
738
00:40:54,150 --> 00:40:56,942
A very, very strong batch.
He overdid it.
739
00:40:57,900 --> 00:40:59,900
Give me a drop. No one will know.
740
00:41:00,067 --> 00:41:01,067
No chance.
741
00:41:04,900 --> 00:41:06,525
One's yours. Take your pick.
742
00:41:06,983 --> 00:41:08,525
The big guy, I guess.
743
00:41:11,608 --> 00:41:12,650
Gentlemen...
744
00:41:22,150 --> 00:41:25,608
I'm not allowed it
ever since I fell in as a kid.
745
00:41:26,108 --> 00:41:27,400
So it will hurt less.
746
00:41:46,483 --> 00:41:49,608
Imagine a mini-amphora
with two wings painted on it,
747
00:41:49,775 --> 00:41:51,733
containing a drop of magic potion.
748
00:41:51,900 --> 00:41:53,692
A kind of pick-me-up.
749
00:41:54,067 --> 00:41:56,442
We market it
as an invigorating drink...
750
00:41:56,608 --> 00:41:59,067
I'll come up with a name for it.
751
00:41:59,442 --> 00:42:03,942
In Rome, with all the orgies
and kids dancing through the night,
752
00:42:04,108 --> 00:42:05,275
we'll make a killing.
753
00:42:05,733 --> 00:42:08,150
Count me in. I'll handle transport.
754
00:42:09,483 --> 00:42:10,483
What's that?
755
00:42:10,733 --> 00:42:11,983
It's tai chi.
756
00:42:12,150 --> 00:42:14,983
An ancestral technique
to boost the body's energy.
757
00:42:16,025 --> 00:42:17,692
It's crazy, us meeting now.
758
00:42:18,317 --> 00:42:21,317
My new lifestyle's
so in step with your culture.
759
00:42:21,983 --> 00:42:24,900
Balance, nutrition,
energies, everything!
760
00:42:25,858 --> 00:42:27,358
The two of us are so connected.
761
00:42:33,317 --> 00:42:35,025
- Done?
- Meditation.
762
00:42:35,192 --> 00:42:35,942
Great!
763
00:42:36,108 --> 00:42:37,108
No talking!
764
00:42:43,067 --> 00:42:44,317
It's a fine coin.
765
00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:48,442
That's you?
766
00:42:48,983 --> 00:42:51,275
Yes.
A gift from my mother.
767
00:42:52,483 --> 00:42:53,483
That's real love.
768
00:42:56,942 --> 00:42:58,192
When I received it,
769
00:42:59,108 --> 00:43:00,108
I didn't smile.
770
00:43:01,150 --> 00:43:02,650
Don't worry, Princess.
771
00:43:03,108 --> 00:43:04,817
I'll rescue your mother.
772
00:43:05,775 --> 00:43:06,775
I'm here for you.
773
00:43:07,983 --> 00:43:09,525
Quick correction, sorry.
774
00:43:09,692 --> 00:43:11,067
We are here for you.
775
00:43:11,233 --> 00:43:14,733
Some of us were here for you
from the start of the adventure.
776
00:43:15,775 --> 00:43:17,067
Excuse me.
777
00:43:17,442 --> 00:43:18,483
Princess...
778
00:43:24,275 --> 00:43:25,358
What are you doing?
779
00:43:25,525 --> 00:43:27,150
That was 2 balls!
780
00:43:27,317 --> 00:43:28,983
Put 1 back. That was 2 balls!
781
00:43:29,150 --> 00:43:31,650
Put 1 back.
Don't screw me on the balls.
782
00:43:31,817 --> 00:43:33,317
It's extra jailtime for me.
783
00:43:34,858 --> 00:43:36,983
By the way, did you think over...
784
00:43:38,358 --> 00:43:39,358
my offer?
785
00:43:42,192 --> 00:43:43,900
Playing hard to get.
786
00:43:44,483 --> 00:43:47,025
I'm used to tough negotiations, though.
787
00:43:47,192 --> 00:43:48,817
- Ekonomikrisis...
- Yes?
788
00:43:48,983 --> 00:43:50,650
If we get out one day,
789
00:43:51,025 --> 00:43:53,817
would you like to keep trading in China?
790
00:43:54,567 --> 00:43:56,025
- Sure.
- So shut up.
791
00:43:57,942 --> 00:44:00,108
They put us together to torture me.
792
00:44:00,817 --> 00:44:02,025
Let's not exaggerate.
793
00:44:03,275 --> 00:44:04,608
Perhaps it's...
794
00:44:05,358 --> 00:44:07,067
destiny bringing us together.
795
00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:09,108
Maktub, as they say back home.
796
00:44:10,442 --> 00:44:12,775
You're very beautiful in a temper.
797
00:44:31,692 --> 00:44:32,483
Gents!
798
00:44:32,650 --> 00:44:35,317
Here, on the Red Sea,
no more fatal encounters!
799
00:44:35,692 --> 00:44:37,817
Who are the predators here?
800
00:44:37,983 --> 00:44:39,567
- We are!
- Bang on!
801
00:44:41,192 --> 00:44:43,358
Ship ahoy!
802
00:44:44,525 --> 00:44:45,567
Thanks, lookout!
803
00:44:45,733 --> 00:44:46,942
Just doing my job!
804
00:44:47,358 --> 00:44:49,483
No lavish ship will escape us.
805
00:44:49,650 --> 00:44:50,983
We sleep tonight in silk!
806
00:45:06,275 --> 00:45:07,025
The Gauls?
807
00:45:07,192 --> 00:45:09,442
It's the Gauls!
808
00:45:12,192 --> 00:45:13,358
Peek-a-boo!
809
00:45:13,858 --> 00:45:14,858
Hi, guys!
810
00:45:19,608 --> 00:45:20,692
Not the Gauls!
811
00:45:20,858 --> 00:45:21,858
Why us?
812
00:45:23,275 --> 00:45:24,483
There are other ships.
813
00:45:25,442 --> 00:45:27,817
Morning,
could you pretend not to see us?
814
00:45:27,983 --> 00:45:29,400
But we have seen you.
815
00:45:29,900 --> 00:45:30,900
That's fair.
816
00:45:31,942 --> 00:45:32,942
Prepare our defences!
817
00:45:33,108 --> 00:45:34,108
Let's go!
818
00:45:38,608 --> 00:45:40,525
Freshly painted too!
819
00:45:41,067 --> 00:45:42,400
Watch out now!
820
00:45:47,150 --> 00:45:48,817
Don't think I enjoy it.
821
00:45:50,150 --> 00:45:51,150
No, wait.
822
00:45:52,192 --> 00:45:53,608
Watch some Chinese fighting.
823
00:46:12,067 --> 00:46:13,233
What now, skipper?
824
00:46:14,733 --> 00:46:15,858
I'm not feeling it.
825
00:46:16,025 --> 00:46:17,817
Let's go anyway. Attack!
826
00:46:21,692 --> 00:46:22,858
No, go back!
827
00:46:23,025 --> 00:46:24,483
Michel, go on!
828
00:46:38,900 --> 00:46:40,275
That's gotta hurt.
829
00:46:48,650 --> 00:46:49,858
That's too many feet!
830
00:46:51,317 --> 00:46:52,567
Let me through.
831
00:46:56,317 --> 00:46:57,525
Sorry, skipper.
832
00:46:57,692 --> 00:46:58,817
Where you going?
833
00:46:58,983 --> 00:47:00,525
Going out like a prince.
834
00:47:02,150 --> 00:47:03,358
Behind you!
835
00:47:07,858 --> 00:47:09,567
Cool it, crazywoman!
836
00:47:50,067 --> 00:47:51,067
Comrades,
837
00:47:51,442 --> 00:47:53,525
official reason for us sinking,
838
00:47:53,692 --> 00:47:55,733
we ran into a Chinese tornado.
839
00:48:05,692 --> 00:48:06,692
May I?
840
00:48:07,275 --> 00:48:08,275
Yes.
841
00:48:12,108 --> 00:48:13,108
Beautiful.
842
00:48:14,650 --> 00:48:15,942
I wanted to say,
843
00:48:16,608 --> 00:48:18,108
you fight fabulously.
844
00:48:19,025 --> 00:48:20,025
Thank you.
845
00:48:21,192 --> 00:48:23,483
How come you never use the potion?
846
00:48:23,650 --> 00:48:24,817
I'm not allowed to.
847
00:48:26,775 --> 00:48:29,525
Dangerous, apparently.
One shot too many.
848
00:48:32,192 --> 00:48:35,275
I'd love to feel that kick
just one more time.
849
00:49:24,775 --> 00:49:25,775
Obelix?
850
00:49:28,108 --> 00:49:29,108
Mummy!
851
00:49:34,567 --> 00:49:36,275
The feeling is extraordinary.
852
00:49:36,608 --> 00:49:38,983
Fizzing through your head and body.
A bit like...
853
00:49:39,150 --> 00:49:41,192
falling in love, so I hear.
854
00:50:07,567 --> 00:50:10,317
Having found their way again at last,
855
00:50:10,483 --> 00:50:12,650
Caesar and his powerful army
856
00:50:12,817 --> 00:50:15,983
cross Persia, the mountains of India,
857
00:50:16,150 --> 00:50:17,733
the Mongolian steppes,
858
00:50:17,900 --> 00:50:20,400
and finally reach the gates of China,
859
00:50:20,567 --> 00:50:22,733
where the formidable Deng Tsin Quin
860
00:50:22,900 --> 00:50:24,858
is perfecting his dastardly plan
861
00:50:25,025 --> 00:50:27,067
to conquer all six kingdoms.
862
00:50:33,983 --> 00:50:34,983
Ave!
863
00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:36,442
This is the war?
864
00:50:36,608 --> 00:50:37,608
Prince Deng Tsin Quin,
865
00:50:37,775 --> 00:50:39,233
allow me to introduce...
866
00:50:39,775 --> 00:50:43,317
Julius Caesar himself.
Impressive, I know, but deep breaths
867
00:50:43,483 --> 00:50:44,942
and everything will be fine.
868
00:50:45,525 --> 00:50:48,442
So where are these rebels
you can't keep in check?
869
00:50:48,608 --> 00:50:52,067
War's a full-time job.
Good idea to call in the professionals.
870
00:50:54,108 --> 00:50:55,400
Aren't you overthinking it?
871
00:50:55,567 --> 00:50:57,608
No, simply following Sun Tzu,
872
00:50:57,983 --> 00:50:59,608
the greatest Chinese strategist,
873
00:50:59,775 --> 00:51:01,233
who wrote The Art of War.
874
00:51:01,983 --> 00:51:03,150
The Fart is Raw?
875
00:51:04,817 --> 00:51:08,775
Anyway, shrimps, keep those eyes open.
We'll make short work of this.
876
00:51:09,442 --> 00:51:10,192
All right...
877
00:51:10,358 --> 00:51:12,198
- If you want peace...
- Prepare for war.
878
00:51:12,233 --> 00:51:13,233
Exactly!
879
00:51:14,525 --> 00:51:15,608
He's hard work.
880
00:51:15,775 --> 00:51:16,775
A maniac.
881
00:51:16,942 --> 00:51:20,067
Mega-pretentious, too.
First decan cancer. The pits.
882
00:51:20,775 --> 00:51:23,400
I had no idea.
I need sleep. Chariot-lag.
883
00:51:27,692 --> 00:51:29,275
Biopix, new chapter.
884
00:51:29,442 --> 00:51:31,983
After Caesar the Seducer,
885
00:51:32,650 --> 00:51:33,983
Caesar the Strategist.
886
00:51:34,150 --> 00:51:36,650
Hold on, change of scroll
and I'm all yours.
887
00:51:36,817 --> 00:51:38,358
- Helmet!
- Hoofus!
888
00:51:50,025 --> 00:51:51,025
Sword!
889
00:51:54,608 --> 00:51:55,442
What on earth?
890
00:51:55,608 --> 00:51:57,817
- Last time you cut yourself...
- Enough!
891
00:51:59,275 --> 00:52:00,983
Any news of Antivirus?
892
00:52:01,150 --> 00:52:03,150
He's here and ready, almighty Caesar.
893
00:52:03,317 --> 00:52:04,400
All right, let's go!
894
00:52:09,525 --> 00:52:10,525
All together!
895
00:52:14,358 --> 00:52:16,442
- Goose bumps.
- Same here.
896
00:53:36,067 --> 00:53:37,275
Antivirus, I love you!
897
00:53:50,442 --> 00:53:53,192
Antivirus, don't go losing your cool.
898
00:53:53,608 --> 00:53:55,400
Cut the pushing. It hurts.
899
00:53:55,567 --> 00:53:57,150
You wanted Antivirus,
900
00:53:57,567 --> 00:53:59,358
I gave you Antivirus.
901
00:53:59,525 --> 00:54:02,483
Now go back to your chariot races.
902
00:54:04,942 --> 00:54:07,192
Why talk when you can fly.
903
00:54:31,775 --> 00:54:33,400
A walk in the park!
904
00:54:35,900 --> 00:54:37,192
In a few days,
905
00:54:37,358 --> 00:54:39,025
I shall be master of China.
906
00:54:40,108 --> 00:54:44,233
I almost envy you,
getting a first taste of Rome's power.
907
00:54:44,858 --> 00:54:47,108
Veni, vidi, vici.
908
00:54:48,150 --> 00:54:50,358
Caesar, you spoil me.
909
00:54:50,525 --> 00:54:52,317
I've got it word for word.
910
00:54:52,483 --> 00:54:54,900
- Awkward. This is for dinner?
- Yes.
911
00:54:55,067 --> 00:54:56,817
- No sense of hospitality.
- No.
912
00:54:57,983 --> 00:54:59,733
And Antivirus? Not here?
913
00:55:00,108 --> 00:55:01,108
He's sleeping.
914
00:55:01,275 --> 00:55:02,275
Sleeping?
915
00:55:02,358 --> 00:55:03,358
I'm here, Caesar.
916
00:55:03,442 --> 00:55:05,650
- Yes, but it's not the same.
- Not at all.
917
00:55:07,442 --> 00:55:09,942
You have one last kingdom to conquer.
918
00:55:10,108 --> 00:55:11,108
The trickiest.
919
00:55:12,358 --> 00:55:14,233
Our victories echo around the land.
920
00:55:14,400 --> 00:55:16,108
And the Ku Koos never give up.
921
00:55:16,275 --> 00:55:19,067
Fine. Let's see
who's the biggest Ku Koo.
922
00:55:21,150 --> 00:55:24,067
Not laughing.
King So Ku Koo passed this winter.
923
00:55:24,858 --> 00:55:27,608
His son and heir,
Prince of Ku Koo, is 20
924
00:55:27,775 --> 00:55:30,525
and wears a mask
to hide a terrible malformation.
925
00:55:30,692 --> 00:55:32,358
The man in the bamboo mask.
926
00:55:32,858 --> 00:55:33,692
A death
927
00:55:33,858 --> 00:55:37,317
and taking a drubbing from Caesar.
Bad year for the Ku Koos.
928
00:55:38,483 --> 00:55:39,692
By the way...
929
00:55:40,983 --> 00:55:42,525
you seem a bit cuckoo.
930
00:55:43,192 --> 00:55:45,525
No, I'm a Quin. No relation.
931
00:55:45,692 --> 00:55:46,692
I mean...
932
00:55:49,608 --> 00:55:51,025
you're totally cuckoo, right?
933
00:55:57,608 --> 00:56:02,150
Why would you want my help
in ousting you from your own kingdom?
934
00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:04,192
What do you stand to gain,
935
00:56:04,358 --> 00:56:06,358
Deng Tsin Quin?
936
00:56:07,650 --> 00:56:09,817
You plan to give me a Caesarian
937
00:56:09,983 --> 00:56:11,900
after I conquer all the kingdoms?
938
00:56:12,317 --> 00:56:13,317
No.
939
00:56:13,775 --> 00:56:15,025
I'd never do that.
940
00:56:15,525 --> 00:56:16,525
Really?
941
00:56:17,983 --> 00:56:18,983
I would.
942
00:56:19,733 --> 00:56:21,108
At the drop of a hat!
943
00:56:22,650 --> 00:56:23,650
Good one!
944
00:56:25,650 --> 00:56:27,358
Tell me, O Caesar,
945
00:56:28,067 --> 00:56:30,025
did you know that Queen Cleopatra
946
00:56:30,192 --> 00:56:31,733
is highly respected in China?
947
00:56:32,525 --> 00:56:33,525
That's true.
948
00:56:33,608 --> 00:56:36,817
She's done so much
for the conservation of pandas that...
949
00:56:37,442 --> 00:56:39,567
What's she like in real life? Cool?
950
00:56:54,608 --> 00:56:56,150
Home at last.
951
00:56:57,525 --> 00:57:00,400
Can you smell the bamboo,
eucalyptus and ginger?
952
00:57:01,900 --> 00:57:03,983
Don't bother. They have no idea.
953
00:57:04,442 --> 00:57:06,025
I smell them, though.
954
00:57:06,858 --> 00:57:07,900
What sweet scent!
955
00:57:08,442 --> 00:57:09,442
Titanix,
956
00:57:09,608 --> 00:57:11,608
you'll head straight back to Egypt?
957
00:57:11,775 --> 00:57:14,358
No, straight on
till I'm back where I started,
958
00:57:14,525 --> 00:57:16,067
to prove the earth's round.
959
00:57:46,608 --> 00:57:48,650
Didn't I promise you'd be back?
960
00:57:54,233 --> 00:57:56,858
Miss Tik, how will we find
your master here?
961
00:57:57,025 --> 00:57:58,317
He will find us.
962
00:58:16,442 --> 00:58:18,525
- What was the message?
- Nothing.
963
00:58:19,692 --> 00:58:21,150
The bald guy's a friend?
964
00:58:22,608 --> 00:58:24,650
Why not tell me if it's nothing?
965
00:58:26,567 --> 00:58:30,275
Master Sill Lee will come to the inn
where we're staying.
966
00:58:31,442 --> 00:58:33,733
Why all the mystery?
967
00:58:33,900 --> 00:58:35,275
I've lost my appetite now!
968
00:58:38,108 --> 00:58:39,692
He's never like that.
969
00:58:41,150 --> 00:58:45,108
Could be the fatigue,
time difference and culture shock.
970
00:58:45,567 --> 00:58:47,150
Can we talk honestly?
971
00:58:47,775 --> 00:58:51,192
We're hardly bosom buddies.
I hate you, and it feels mutual.
972
00:58:52,442 --> 00:58:54,692
But it's really tense between you two.
973
00:58:54,942 --> 00:58:56,650
The tension's getting to us all.
974
00:58:57,358 --> 00:58:58,650
- It is?
- Yes.
975
00:58:59,567 --> 00:59:01,525
I have an idea for you both
976
00:59:02,025 --> 00:59:05,067
and honestly
it will do you the world of good.
977
00:59:07,733 --> 00:59:09,650
Obelix, we need to talk.
978
00:59:10,192 --> 00:59:11,317
I'm all ears.
979
00:59:11,483 --> 00:59:15,233
You've noticed the Princess and I
have a real good thing going?
980
00:59:17,192 --> 00:59:18,192
For sure.
981
00:59:19,858 --> 00:59:22,067
I think it would be simpler...
982
00:59:22,775 --> 00:59:24,942
if she moved to our village.
983
00:59:25,108 --> 00:59:26,108
All right.
984
00:59:27,025 --> 00:59:28,525
You and I are...
985
00:59:28,942 --> 00:59:30,775
We've lived together for ages.
986
00:59:31,317 --> 00:59:33,317
We never said it was for life.
987
00:59:34,525 --> 00:59:35,942
Seeing as, originally,
988
00:59:36,275 --> 00:59:38,108
it was my parents' hut...
989
00:59:42,150 --> 00:59:43,900
You'd like me to move out?
990
00:59:44,900 --> 00:59:45,900
Yes.
991
00:59:50,067 --> 00:59:51,525
What a relief!
992
00:59:51,692 --> 00:59:54,983
I want to move out
and had no idea how to tell you.
993
00:59:55,608 --> 00:59:56,608
Really?
994
00:59:59,108 --> 01:00:00,400
I'm in love, too.
995
01:00:01,942 --> 01:00:02,983
You're in love?
996
01:00:03,817 --> 01:00:05,442
Beautiful Miss Tik.
997
01:00:08,775 --> 01:00:09,775
Miss Tik?
998
01:00:10,525 --> 01:00:11,858
Our Miss Tik?
999
01:00:12,317 --> 01:00:13,317
Seriously?
1000
01:00:15,900 --> 01:00:17,233
What's so funny?
1001
01:00:18,150 --> 01:00:19,317
I'm just surprised.
1002
01:00:19,483 --> 01:00:20,650
By me falling in love?
1003
01:00:21,358 --> 01:00:22,525
Come on, Oby...
1004
01:00:22,692 --> 01:00:23,900
Don't Oby me.
1005
01:00:24,150 --> 01:00:25,150
No more Oby!
1006
01:00:26,817 --> 01:00:27,817
What's funny?
1007
01:00:27,900 --> 01:00:29,317
I've no right to love?
1008
01:00:29,817 --> 01:00:31,025
No rights at all!
1009
01:00:31,192 --> 01:00:32,983
Nonsense! It's all about you.
1010
01:00:33,150 --> 01:00:34,150
It is not!
1011
01:00:34,275 --> 01:00:35,275
It is!
1012
01:00:36,650 --> 01:00:38,108
No magic potion for Obelix.
1013
01:00:38,275 --> 01:00:39,442
No love for Obelix!
1014
01:00:39,608 --> 01:00:42,567
Poor Obelix!
He can't have any magic potion.
1015
01:00:43,358 --> 01:00:44,358
Poor Obelix!
1016
01:00:44,442 --> 01:00:45,650
Now I'm not allowed
1017
01:00:45,817 --> 01:00:49,067
to roast my wild boar
in my own hut!
1018
01:00:49,650 --> 01:00:52,442
Sorry, not my hut.
Asterix's parents' hut!
1019
01:00:52,608 --> 01:00:53,317
Correct!
1020
01:00:53,483 --> 01:00:55,442
And he wants me to eat fruit and veg!
1021
01:00:55,608 --> 01:00:57,900
Why should we eat fruit and veg?
1022
01:00:58,067 --> 01:00:59,150
For your sake!
1023
01:00:59,483 --> 01:01:00,483
Your health!
1024
01:01:00,567 --> 01:01:02,567
Don't say the word! Don't say it!
1025
01:01:02,733 --> 01:01:03,983
Because you're fat!
1026
01:01:06,442 --> 01:01:08,650
I am curvaceous!
1027
01:01:09,483 --> 01:01:10,650
But at least I'm...
1028
01:01:11,108 --> 01:01:12,275
strong.
1029
01:01:12,442 --> 01:01:14,317
There we go. Thank you!
1030
01:01:14,483 --> 01:01:17,275
You think it's easy
always being weaker?
1031
01:01:17,692 --> 01:01:19,025
Dependent on a flask!
1032
01:01:19,192 --> 01:01:20,442
Serves you right!
1033
01:01:20,858 --> 01:01:22,067
There, I said it!
1034
01:01:23,900 --> 01:01:26,442
Needles work well. Release tensions.
1035
01:01:28,150 --> 01:01:30,192
Speak freely.
1036
01:01:42,525 --> 01:01:44,025
- Romans!
- No, Obelix.
1037
01:01:44,442 --> 01:01:45,442
What now?
1038
01:01:45,608 --> 01:01:47,775
We protect the princess's identity.
1039
01:01:48,900 --> 01:01:50,400
What brings Caesar to China?
1040
01:01:50,733 --> 01:01:53,525
The traitor Deng Tsin Quin
has sold us out.
1041
01:01:55,942 --> 01:01:57,442
News flash!
1042
01:01:58,192 --> 01:01:59,400
People of China,
1043
01:01:59,733 --> 01:02:02,192
Prince Deng Tsin Quin
and Julius Caesar
1044
01:02:02,358 --> 01:02:04,733
are delighted to announce
the public execution
1045
01:02:04,900 --> 01:02:06,150
of the ex-Empress.
1046
01:02:07,233 --> 01:02:10,733
Beheading will take place
in seven days at sunset.
1047
01:02:11,942 --> 01:02:15,817
Fries will be stirred.
Book early to avoid disappointment.
1048
01:02:15,983 --> 01:02:16,983
Nobody told me.
1049
01:02:17,025 --> 01:02:18,733
By papyrus?
You're not in the group?
1050
01:02:18,900 --> 01:02:20,650
I never am!
1051
01:02:20,817 --> 01:02:22,650
I am Princess Sa See!
1052
01:02:22,817 --> 01:02:24,983
Nobody harms
the daughter of the heavens,
1053
01:02:25,150 --> 01:02:27,567
her majesty the Empress, my mother!
1054
01:02:27,733 --> 01:02:28,733
Arrest her!
1055
01:02:35,817 --> 01:02:36,817
Hey, doggie.
1056
01:02:37,525 --> 01:02:38,317
Bring it on.
1057
01:02:38,483 --> 01:02:41,692
Anyone who touches a single hair
of my future wife
1058
01:02:41,858 --> 01:02:44,150
must prepare for a world of pain.
1059
01:02:45,858 --> 01:02:46,858
I said that?
1060
01:02:53,692 --> 01:02:55,858
Hold on, timeout. Pause it.
1061
01:02:56,025 --> 01:02:58,650
Just a second, I'll be right back.
1062
01:02:59,900 --> 01:03:01,108
You're kidding me.
1063
01:03:03,567 --> 01:03:04,692
You good?
1064
01:03:08,650 --> 01:03:09,650
We can start?
1065
01:03:10,067 --> 01:03:10,900
Toilet break.
1066
01:03:11,067 --> 01:03:11,817
Sure.
1067
01:03:11,983 --> 01:03:13,108
Not buying it.
1068
01:03:43,400 --> 01:03:44,400
Wring!
1069
01:04:07,775 --> 01:04:08,775
How about that.
1070
01:04:14,442 --> 01:04:17,108
The acupuncturist prescribed me
two days' rest.
1071
01:04:17,275 --> 01:04:18,567
For what we get paid...
1072
01:04:20,358 --> 01:04:21,692
Act like we never met?
1073
01:04:21,858 --> 01:04:22,858
We never met.
1074
01:05:18,150 --> 01:05:20,358
Say, he just flew off my fist.
1075
01:05:20,525 --> 01:05:21,525
Yeah, I saw that.
1076
01:05:21,692 --> 01:05:23,567
Let's face it, no one beats you.
1077
01:05:24,483 --> 01:05:25,692
What's this?
1078
01:05:28,900 --> 01:05:29,942
Insane! So tight.
1079
01:05:30,108 --> 01:05:31,817
Come on, Princess, it's not safe.
1080
01:05:31,983 --> 01:05:34,067
"Come on, Princess, it's not safe."
1081
01:05:35,775 --> 01:05:36,858
A problem?
1082
01:05:37,025 --> 01:05:38,025
Maybe.
1083
01:05:38,942 --> 01:05:39,983
Potion's worn off?
1084
01:05:40,442 --> 01:05:42,108
Maybe. Try me, you'll see.
1085
01:05:43,442 --> 01:05:44,442
We'll talk later.
1086
01:05:45,233 --> 01:05:46,358
Ready when you are.
1087
01:06:05,358 --> 01:06:06,358
Halt!
1088
01:06:11,317 --> 01:06:13,067
THE ORIGINAL 2CV
1089
01:06:18,442 --> 01:06:20,067
SOAPS by CLEO
1090
01:06:22,733 --> 01:06:24,317
Who whistled?
1091
01:06:35,317 --> 01:06:36,400
I go off to war.
1092
01:06:37,358 --> 01:06:39,317
I risk my life and nothing from her.
1093
01:06:39,900 --> 01:06:41,442
No messages, no news.
1094
01:06:41,775 --> 01:06:43,358
No papyrus, no pigeons.
1095
01:06:43,733 --> 01:06:45,400
Time to snap out of it!
1096
01:06:45,650 --> 01:06:48,150
We were the intrepid, conquering hero.
1097
01:06:48,317 --> 01:06:49,775
We've gone a bit flat.
1098
01:06:49,942 --> 01:06:50,942
He's right.
1099
01:06:51,108 --> 01:06:52,317
You messaged her?
1100
01:06:52,483 --> 01:06:55,275
No, we said no messages.
We play it cool.
1101
01:06:55,442 --> 01:06:58,233
We do nothing. Let her stew like beef.
1102
01:06:58,400 --> 01:07:00,358
Butt out, cupcake!
1103
01:07:00,817 --> 01:07:02,317
Come again, sentry?
1104
01:07:02,608 --> 01:07:05,608
Risklus! An aquarium,
with water on the brain!
1105
01:07:05,775 --> 01:07:08,858
Two-bit Antivirus!
You're not fit to shine his sandals.
1106
01:07:09,025 --> 01:07:10,608
Shut your trap!
1107
01:07:14,150 --> 01:07:15,942
Who wears the toga at home?
1108
01:07:16,400 --> 01:07:17,400
Who's the boss?
1109
01:07:17,942 --> 01:07:18,942
I am.
1110
01:07:19,400 --> 01:07:20,650
Anyone hear that?
1111
01:07:21,108 --> 01:07:22,608
Who's the boss?
1112
01:07:24,025 --> 01:07:25,442
- I am.
- There you are!
1113
01:07:25,608 --> 01:07:27,358
You're back. Julius Caesar!
1114
01:07:27,525 --> 01:07:29,025
Our champion! Number one!
1115
01:07:30,525 --> 01:07:31,608
The only message is,
1116
01:07:31,775 --> 01:07:34,775
"Take your trunks and stuff,
and go home to Egypt!
1117
01:07:34,942 --> 01:07:37,650
"Walking straight or sideways,
whatever, just go!"
1118
01:07:41,567 --> 01:07:42,900
You're right. Scribe!
1119
01:07:54,400 --> 01:07:55,442
Better!
1120
01:07:55,858 --> 01:07:59,275
I want my palace in Rome
empty of sarcophagi and bandages.
1121
01:08:00,317 --> 01:08:03,317
As of today,
you know who wears the toga at home.
1122
01:08:04,775 --> 01:08:05,775
Ave, me!
1123
01:08:06,108 --> 01:08:09,775
There, that's big-time Caesar.
Masterful!
1124
01:08:09,942 --> 01:08:11,567
The Queen of Egypt?
1125
01:08:11,733 --> 01:08:13,650
Queen of Nitwits more like!
1126
01:08:14,733 --> 01:08:16,400
They're not singing anymore...
1127
01:08:16,567 --> 01:08:19,192
They're not singing, the Egyptians!
1128
01:08:19,608 --> 01:08:21,233
- Send.
- Yes!
1129
01:08:25,275 --> 01:08:26,483
Pigeon!
1130
01:08:29,858 --> 01:08:30,983
A bunny!
1131
01:08:32,067 --> 01:08:33,483
It's a bunny.
1132
01:08:33,650 --> 01:08:34,650
Scary!
1133
01:08:34,983 --> 01:08:36,233
A raccoon!
1134
01:08:40,317 --> 01:08:41,317
A goat!
1135
01:08:42,067 --> 01:08:43,233
A billy goat.
1136
01:08:49,317 --> 01:08:51,025
Come on, sweetie, let's go.
1137
01:09:00,192 --> 01:09:01,275
From Cleopatra.
1138
01:09:01,442 --> 01:09:02,442
Already?
1139
01:09:03,900 --> 01:09:04,900
Read it.
1140
01:09:16,858 --> 01:09:18,150
Don't understand a word.
1141
01:09:18,317 --> 01:09:19,317
I don't understand.
1142
01:09:21,275 --> 01:09:22,900
"I wanted to apologise.
1143
01:09:23,858 --> 01:09:25,025
"For my behaviour.
1144
01:09:25,192 --> 01:09:26,400
"I went too far."
1145
01:09:26,567 --> 01:09:27,567
For sure.
1146
01:09:28,733 --> 01:09:32,608
"Four months apart
and I dream of us being reunited.
1147
01:09:33,233 --> 01:09:35,858
"Waiting for you in Rome.
Come back soon.
1148
01:09:37,058 --> 01:09:38,350
"Your loving Cleo."
1149
01:09:40,058 --> 01:09:41,433
Stop the pigeon!
1150
01:09:41,933 --> 01:09:42,975
Cancel the pigeon!
1151
01:09:43,142 --> 01:09:44,767
- Fast!
- We can't cancel it.
1152
01:09:44,933 --> 01:09:46,183
Sent is sent.
1153
01:09:46,558 --> 01:09:47,558
I beat him?
1154
01:09:47,642 --> 01:09:48,975
Everybody out!
1155
01:09:54,100 --> 01:09:55,267
I said everybody.
1156
01:11:13,225 --> 01:11:15,058
Hungry? There's lots of fruit.
1157
01:11:15,225 --> 01:11:16,267
- Hands off.
- What?
1158
01:11:16,433 --> 01:11:17,725
They're offerings.
1159
01:11:18,392 --> 01:11:19,767
Sorry. I didn't...
1160
01:11:27,725 --> 01:11:28,725
Hold on.
1161
01:11:28,808 --> 01:11:30,725
Move along. Have a good evening.
1162
01:11:31,267 --> 01:11:32,308
Good luck.
1163
01:11:33,058 --> 01:11:34,183
Just a beggar.
1164
01:11:39,392 --> 01:11:40,392
Master Sill Lee.
1165
01:11:41,725 --> 01:11:42,725
Sorry.
1166
01:11:43,683 --> 01:11:46,350
Profuse apologies, Mr Sill Lee.
I thought...
1167
01:11:46,767 --> 01:11:50,058
Master Sill Lee is a hermit
who devotes his life to meditation.
1168
01:11:50,225 --> 01:11:51,933
He took a vow of absolute poverty.
1169
01:11:53,183 --> 01:11:55,683
Bravo for the oath. That blows my mind.
1170
01:11:55,850 --> 01:11:57,017
It's beyond me.
1171
01:11:57,183 --> 01:12:00,225
In that case,
allow me to relieve you of the money.
1172
01:12:00,392 --> 01:12:02,850
Try to take back your coin,
1173
01:12:03,308 --> 01:12:04,725
little grasshopper.
1174
01:12:09,183 --> 01:12:10,892
It's too easy. You're blind.
1175
01:12:11,058 --> 01:12:14,308
Never assume a man cannot see
because he's...
1176
01:12:16,308 --> 01:12:17,933
You saw that coming?
1177
01:12:19,683 --> 01:12:21,183
There we are!
1178
01:12:21,767 --> 01:12:22,975
It was his game.
1179
01:12:23,142 --> 01:12:24,142
Leave him.
1180
01:12:24,308 --> 01:12:25,350
Little grasshopper!
1181
01:12:25,808 --> 01:12:27,517
Sir, over here.
1182
01:12:28,725 --> 01:12:30,517
You are as swift as a cobra.
1183
01:12:30,683 --> 01:12:31,683
Yup, Sill Lee.
1184
01:12:31,767 --> 01:12:34,183
Can we move on to important matters?
1185
01:12:40,392 --> 01:12:41,600
By Toutatis!
1186
01:12:42,017 --> 01:12:45,808
Deng Tsin Quin spreads terror
across the whole country.
1187
01:12:46,308 --> 01:12:47,975
Do not touch.
1188
01:12:48,933 --> 01:12:49,933
Hard to resist.
1189
01:12:50,350 --> 01:12:51,433
I see
1190
01:12:51,642 --> 01:12:53,558
an old abandoned temple.
1191
01:12:54,017 --> 01:12:55,600
The temple in Xuan.
1192
01:12:56,058 --> 01:12:59,642
Her majesty the Empress
is held prisoner.
1193
01:13:01,475 --> 01:13:02,850
After releasing her,
1194
01:13:03,017 --> 01:13:05,933
you must go with all speed
1195
01:13:06,100 --> 01:13:07,683
to the Ku Koos' palace,
1196
01:13:07,850 --> 01:13:12,017
before Caesar seizes the final kingdom.
1197
01:13:12,600 --> 01:13:14,683
You will encounter
1198
01:13:15,308 --> 01:13:16,392
the hideous...
1199
01:13:16,850 --> 01:13:18,392
the unsightly...
1200
01:13:18,558 --> 01:13:22,517
the monstrous crown prince,
1201
01:13:22,683 --> 01:13:23,892
Prince of Ku Koo,
1202
01:13:24,058 --> 01:13:27,225
the man in the bamboo mask.
1203
01:13:29,267 --> 01:13:30,975
Don't worry, it's fake.
1204
01:13:31,433 --> 01:13:32,683
Good luck!
1205
01:13:33,475 --> 01:13:35,892
We must go our separate ways.
1206
01:13:36,475 --> 01:13:37,808
Grand master,
1207
01:13:38,308 --> 01:13:39,975
are you done with the ball?
1208
01:13:41,600 --> 01:13:42,600
Yes.
1209
01:13:46,850 --> 01:13:48,142
Holy cow!
1210
01:13:51,017 --> 01:13:52,892
There you are. You broke it.
1211
01:13:53,058 --> 01:13:54,642
He said do not touch.
1212
01:13:56,683 --> 01:13:57,725
He's right.
1213
01:13:58,642 --> 01:14:00,475
I said do not touch!
1214
01:14:06,517 --> 01:14:07,975
Why'd you touch it?
1215
01:14:13,558 --> 01:14:16,100
Seen Princess Sa See?
With two warriors...
1216
01:14:20,267 --> 01:14:21,600
Princess Sa See?
1217
01:14:21,767 --> 01:14:25,017
Seen her?
With two superhuman foreign warriors.
1218
01:14:25,600 --> 01:14:26,600
And a dog.
1219
01:14:41,892 --> 01:14:44,350
You're waiting for an ale?
Bring them in!
1220
01:14:45,183 --> 01:14:46,808
- Asterix!
- What? Run!
1221
01:14:47,308 --> 01:14:48,558
- Asterix!
- What?
1222
01:14:48,725 --> 01:14:50,100
Why are we running?
1223
01:14:50,600 --> 01:14:52,267
- So I don't have to fight.
- Why?
1224
01:14:52,433 --> 01:14:54,308
No more potion with the Princess.
1225
01:14:54,475 --> 01:14:56,392
I'm sick of looking stupid.
1226
01:14:56,892 --> 01:14:58,933
Hurry! I bagged a rickshaw.
1227
01:14:59,100 --> 01:15:00,183
Come on!
1228
01:15:01,975 --> 01:15:02,975
Fast!
1229
01:15:03,725 --> 01:15:04,767
Faster!
1230
01:15:09,308 --> 01:15:10,683
He does this on purpose.
1231
01:16:03,600 --> 01:16:04,683
All right.
1232
01:16:10,392 --> 01:16:13,142
One more ball and it's curtains for us.
1233
01:16:14,183 --> 01:16:15,392
So, our last night...
1234
01:16:16,308 --> 01:16:17,600
I was thinking...
1235
01:16:18,308 --> 01:16:20,308
maybe as a memento...
1236
01:16:20,475 --> 01:16:21,475
Majesty!
1237
01:16:23,017 --> 01:16:24,100
Gave me a fright!
1238
01:16:24,267 --> 01:16:25,683
We'll get you out.
1239
01:16:26,142 --> 01:16:27,142
Who's that?
1240
01:16:29,058 --> 01:16:30,308
Stand back.
1241
01:16:41,350 --> 01:16:42,350
All good?
1242
01:16:50,433 --> 01:16:51,433
Sorry.
1243
01:17:04,100 --> 01:17:05,100
Rise.
1244
01:17:06,683 --> 01:17:07,475
Let's go.
1245
01:17:07,642 --> 01:17:08,975
Jump. We'll catch you.
1246
01:17:09,142 --> 01:17:10,767
What? Jump?
1247
01:17:10,933 --> 01:17:12,433
I can't leave right now!
1248
01:17:12,725 --> 01:17:14,767
Abandon a negotiation? Not my style!
1249
01:17:15,392 --> 01:17:17,058
In two balls, the guard caves.
1250
01:17:17,225 --> 01:17:19,850
Go ahead without me. I'll catch you up.
1251
01:17:20,600 --> 01:17:21,600
Are you sure?
1252
01:17:22,267 --> 01:17:23,267
Yes.
1253
01:17:24,225 --> 01:17:25,267
As you wish.
1254
01:17:28,683 --> 01:17:29,683
Take care.
1255
01:17:30,642 --> 01:17:31,850
And keep your head.
1256
01:17:34,142 --> 01:17:35,558
You're afraid for me.
1257
01:17:36,850 --> 01:17:40,767
You see, you're even more beautiful
smiling than in a temper.
1258
01:17:48,683 --> 01:17:50,308
She's so impressive!
1259
01:17:51,767 --> 01:17:52,850
Thank you.
1260
01:17:54,308 --> 01:17:55,308
Mother!
1261
01:17:56,183 --> 01:17:57,808
What joy to see you again.
1262
01:18:08,017 --> 01:18:08,642
Alert!
1263
01:18:08,808 --> 01:18:09,433
Run!
1264
01:18:09,600 --> 01:18:10,600
They've escaped!
1265
01:18:21,433 --> 01:18:22,892
Which way now? Which way?
1266
01:18:24,600 --> 01:18:25,600
Wait.
1267
01:18:26,517 --> 01:18:28,475
Good. We lost them.
1268
01:18:28,642 --> 01:18:30,850
Friends from Gaul.
Thanks for your help.
1269
01:18:31,017 --> 01:18:32,808
Our pleasure, Your Majesty.
1270
01:18:33,683 --> 01:18:35,767
Seeing as no one introduces me...
1271
01:18:37,517 --> 01:18:38,725
Bankruptis.
1272
01:18:38,892 --> 01:18:41,350
We already met at the market.
1273
01:18:42,058 --> 01:18:43,100
That's right.
1274
01:18:43,892 --> 01:18:45,558
Life's full of surprises.
1275
01:18:47,975 --> 01:18:50,100
Attention issues for the Empress.
1276
01:18:50,933 --> 01:18:54,058
Take the Gauls to the Ku Koos.
Secure their support.
1277
01:18:54,225 --> 01:18:57,558
Meanwhile
I'll rally our army and followers.
1278
01:18:58,433 --> 01:18:59,600
Miss Tik, come with me.
1279
01:19:00,308 --> 01:19:01,975
I shall honour you, Mother.
1280
01:19:02,142 --> 01:19:03,183
You'll be proud of me.
1281
01:19:05,100 --> 01:19:06,767
I'm already proud of you.
1282
01:19:08,350 --> 01:19:09,600
Let's go, Miss Tik.
1283
01:19:27,142 --> 01:19:28,475
This will end badly.
1284
01:19:51,392 --> 01:19:53,350
Miss Tik has fallen for Obelix.
1285
01:19:55,392 --> 01:19:56,392
Obelix, too.
1286
01:19:59,017 --> 01:20:02,017
I don't like all the falling-for
in this adventure.
1287
01:20:03,100 --> 01:20:04,142
So let's go.
1288
01:20:05,600 --> 01:20:07,142
Obelix, come on.
1289
01:20:15,558 --> 01:20:18,183
- What's the wine made from?
- Rice.
1290
01:20:19,267 --> 01:20:21,433
Refinement is not your strong suit.
1291
01:20:26,100 --> 01:20:28,183
Got a kick but not all bad.
1292
01:20:29,058 --> 01:20:30,100
It's relaxing.
1293
01:20:30,267 --> 01:20:31,267
Rice wine.
1294
01:20:31,933 --> 01:20:35,225
Maybe take a few amphorae
for fight nights with Wifey.
1295
01:20:37,642 --> 01:20:38,683
You see...
1296
01:20:38,850 --> 01:20:40,475
At times like this...
1297
01:20:43,850 --> 01:20:45,017
I miss her.
1298
01:20:45,725 --> 01:20:47,100
What's with the music?
1299
01:20:47,267 --> 01:20:48,100
A full band?
1300
01:20:48,267 --> 01:20:49,642
Four and a singer.
1301
01:20:50,100 --> 01:20:51,892
- You take them everywhere?
- Yes.
1302
01:20:52,058 --> 01:20:53,142
It's practical.
1303
01:20:54,142 --> 01:20:56,267
I always have my favourite music.
1304
01:20:57,933 --> 01:20:58,933
Know it?
1305
01:20:59,058 --> 01:21:00,433
Sure, obviously.
1306
01:21:01,183 --> 01:21:03,433
Now that's what I call music.
1307
01:21:04,600 --> 01:21:06,767
None of your ching-chong nonsense.
1308
01:21:20,600 --> 01:21:21,600
Amore!
1309
01:21:22,642 --> 01:21:24,017
What are you doing?
1310
01:21:25,600 --> 01:21:27,933
- I saw my wife.
- I'm nobody's wife.
1311
01:21:29,808 --> 01:21:30,642
Know what?
1312
01:21:30,808 --> 01:21:33,308
Your libation brought back the urge.
1313
01:21:35,975 --> 01:21:38,933
I shall become
the next Emperor of China.
1314
01:21:39,475 --> 01:21:40,475
Wow...
1315
01:21:40,558 --> 01:21:43,183
Mama Cleo will never get over it.
1316
01:21:44,017 --> 01:21:46,767
Tomorrow at dawn, we go full Ku Koo.
1317
01:22:04,183 --> 01:22:06,475
Slow down. Our exit's coming up.
1318
01:22:06,642 --> 01:22:07,850
Yes, next one.
1319
01:22:09,892 --> 01:22:11,975
Once more, thanks to Obelix,
1320
01:22:12,142 --> 01:22:15,975
our friends beat Caesar's army
to the palace of Prince Ku Koo,
1321
01:22:16,142 --> 01:22:17,975
the man in the bamboo mask.
1322
01:22:18,308 --> 01:22:19,392
Keep up.
1323
01:22:23,392 --> 01:22:24,558
I am To Fu.
1324
01:22:25,225 --> 01:22:28,308
Advisor to the prince regent, Ku Koo.
1325
01:22:28,808 --> 01:22:30,308
Can you prove
1326
01:22:31,017 --> 01:22:33,100
you really are Princess Sa See?
1327
01:22:34,308 --> 01:22:36,933
I give my word.
I am the Empress's daughter.
1328
01:22:37,308 --> 01:22:40,642
Sadly, your word is not enough.
1329
01:22:41,933 --> 01:22:43,600
You could be a spy.
1330
01:22:44,225 --> 01:22:45,350
In the pay
1331
01:22:45,517 --> 01:22:46,933
of Deng Tsin Quin!
1332
01:22:49,517 --> 01:22:50,517
The coin!
1333
01:22:56,267 --> 01:22:59,725
Will you now bow
before your Empress's daughter?
1334
01:23:01,767 --> 01:23:03,850
I apologise profusely, Princess Sa See.
1335
01:23:04,017 --> 01:23:05,642
We must be careful.
1336
01:23:06,433 --> 01:23:08,642
His Highness, the Prince...
1337
01:23:08,808 --> 01:23:09,808
of Ku Koo!
1338
01:23:22,183 --> 01:23:23,183
What the heck?
1339
01:23:24,017 --> 01:23:25,933
Don't turn your back. It's rude!
1340
01:23:26,100 --> 01:23:27,225
In his house.
1341
01:23:49,683 --> 01:23:50,683
Princess Sa See,
1342
01:23:50,808 --> 01:23:53,267
Prince of Ku Koo, with my men,
at your service.
1343
01:23:53,433 --> 01:23:55,975
We support your mother, our Empress.
1344
01:23:57,725 --> 01:23:58,725
Thanks.
1345
01:23:59,350 --> 01:24:00,433
Sorry, I'm lost for...
1346
01:24:00,892 --> 01:24:03,308
All my fault.
My cursed mane frightens you.
1347
01:24:04,100 --> 01:24:05,892
On the contrary, it suits you.
1348
01:24:07,558 --> 01:24:08,933
Nobody ever said that.
1349
01:24:09,100 --> 01:24:10,892
I never wanted to say it.
1350
01:24:26,350 --> 01:24:28,433
That's love at first look.
1351
01:24:28,600 --> 01:24:30,933
Whole weeks of work for nothing.
1352
01:24:34,308 --> 01:24:35,683
Back to the friend zone.
1353
01:24:37,058 --> 01:24:38,100
Let's go.
1354
01:24:39,558 --> 01:24:41,267
We have a country to save.
1355
01:24:55,100 --> 01:24:57,558
Gotta be cuckoo
to build a palace in a hollow.
1356
01:24:57,725 --> 01:24:58,892
No way out.
1357
01:24:59,392 --> 01:25:01,642
Cornered by Caesar. It will be brief.
1358
01:25:05,350 --> 01:25:06,600
Here we go again.
1359
01:25:06,767 --> 01:25:07,933
Blah-blah time.
1360
01:25:19,767 --> 01:25:21,600
I am Princess Sa See.
1361
01:25:21,767 --> 01:25:24,017
Submit to the sole Empress of China.
1362
01:25:26,142 --> 01:25:27,183
Sa See darling,
1363
01:25:27,350 --> 01:25:28,850
we can marry at last.
1364
01:25:29,017 --> 01:25:32,350
Don't bet on it.
You'll regret your acts, Deng Tsin Quin.
1365
01:25:33,267 --> 01:25:36,058
- She's no pushover.
- Can't lie, sparks aren't flying.
1366
01:25:36,225 --> 01:25:38,558
I have a question for you.
1367
01:25:39,808 --> 01:25:40,808
How many?
1368
01:25:41,392 --> 01:25:42,558
Ten thousand.
1369
01:25:42,725 --> 01:25:46,183
Because we are 80,000-strong!
1370
01:25:52,433 --> 01:25:55,517
That's experience for you.
Not boasting, I've never lost.
1371
01:25:55,683 --> 01:25:56,683
You're wonderful.
1372
01:25:56,808 --> 01:25:58,267
You miscounted, Princess.
1373
01:25:58,433 --> 01:25:59,933
Ten thousand plus two.
1374
01:26:00,100 --> 01:26:01,308
If you still need me.
1375
01:26:01,475 --> 01:26:02,558
Peek-a-boo, Julius!
1376
01:26:02,725 --> 01:26:03,850
It's us!
1377
01:26:04,017 --> 01:26:05,017
The crazies!
1378
01:26:05,142 --> 01:26:05,975
Not plus two.
1379
01:26:06,142 --> 01:26:07,225
Plus three!
1380
01:26:08,017 --> 01:26:09,475
The man in the bamboo mask.
1381
01:26:11,433 --> 01:26:12,267
Gross!
1382
01:26:12,433 --> 01:26:14,142
Poor guy's blond!
1383
01:26:14,308 --> 01:26:15,308
It's not too bad.
1384
01:26:15,392 --> 01:26:16,850
Not plus three. Plus four!
1385
01:26:17,600 --> 01:26:18,725
I'm the man
1386
01:26:19,517 --> 01:26:20,600
with feather feet!
1387
01:26:20,767 --> 01:26:21,892
What is this?
1388
01:26:28,433 --> 01:26:30,808
Why talk when you can run?
1389
01:26:43,267 --> 01:26:45,433
He didn't warm up. The chump!
1390
01:26:45,683 --> 01:26:47,225
- Did I say charge?
- No.
1391
01:26:50,167 --> 01:26:51,208
Substitute!
1392
01:26:55,333 --> 01:26:56,792
Antivirus!
1393
01:27:33,667 --> 01:27:35,542
Asterix, I'll have a drop.
1394
01:27:36,125 --> 01:27:37,167
Not enough for 4.
1395
01:27:37,500 --> 01:27:38,500
"Not enough for 4!"
1396
01:27:42,208 --> 01:27:43,500
The cheats!
1397
01:27:43,667 --> 01:27:44,667
Won't help them.
1398
01:27:46,292 --> 01:27:47,875
Charge!
1399
01:28:05,375 --> 01:28:06,375
Yes?
1400
01:28:06,917 --> 01:28:07,917
Of course.
1401
01:28:57,625 --> 01:28:58,625
Help me.
1402
01:28:59,125 --> 01:29:00,125
Pipe down.
1403
01:29:00,292 --> 01:29:01,500
You've got gall.
1404
01:29:01,833 --> 01:29:02,583
Gall...
1405
01:29:02,750 --> 01:29:03,750
Gaul!
1406
01:29:16,500 --> 01:29:17,875
Can I join in?
1407
01:29:18,375 --> 01:29:19,375
Yeah, sure.
1408
01:29:19,625 --> 01:29:20,625
Archers!
1409
01:29:21,375 --> 01:29:22,375
Prepare!
1410
01:29:22,875 --> 01:29:23,875
Draw!
1411
01:29:24,417 --> 01:29:25,417
Loose!
1412
01:29:26,875 --> 01:29:29,083
Deng Tsin Quin, Emperor of China!
1413
01:29:32,042 --> 01:29:33,042
Arrows!
1414
01:29:47,833 --> 01:29:49,042
You can't be serious.
1415
01:29:49,458 --> 01:29:50,500
Don't judge me.
1416
01:29:53,167 --> 01:29:54,167
I feel it.
1417
01:29:55,333 --> 01:29:56,792
I feel it rising.
1418
01:29:59,958 --> 01:30:01,083
It's insane!
1419
01:30:02,542 --> 01:30:03,542
That's it?
1420
01:30:07,333 --> 01:30:08,667
No way! It's a joke.
1421
01:30:18,667 --> 01:30:19,792
I smell victory.
1422
01:30:21,542 --> 01:30:22,750
A particular scent?
1423
01:30:24,000 --> 01:30:26,083
Do readers care for such details?
1424
01:30:26,250 --> 01:30:27,500
It sets the scene.
1425
01:30:29,333 --> 01:30:30,958
The scent of laurels.
1426
01:30:31,375 --> 01:30:32,417
Excellent!
1427
01:30:56,167 --> 01:30:56,875
Thanks.
1428
01:30:57,042 --> 01:30:58,125
You're welcome.
1429
01:31:01,542 --> 01:31:03,375
We fell out but I can help out.
1430
01:31:04,042 --> 01:31:04,792
Sure.
1431
01:31:04,958 --> 01:31:06,458
I'm on your side.
1432
01:31:07,500 --> 01:31:08,500
Sure.
1433
01:31:09,875 --> 01:31:11,417
You'll always be my chum.
1434
01:31:14,583 --> 01:31:15,583
Sure.
1435
01:31:16,750 --> 01:31:18,042
Sorry, Obelix.
1436
01:31:42,917 --> 01:31:43,917
Stop!
1437
01:31:58,583 --> 01:31:59,833
Before I die...
1438
01:32:01,250 --> 01:32:02,958
I must tell you, Princess...
1439
01:32:29,083 --> 01:32:30,083
Look!
1440
01:32:31,625 --> 01:32:33,375
Just when all seems lost,
1441
01:32:33,917 --> 01:32:35,583
the Empress arrives,
1442
01:32:35,750 --> 01:32:38,458
followed by her army and entire people.
1443
01:32:38,792 --> 01:32:40,083
They are all there,
1444
01:32:40,250 --> 01:32:43,708
marching across the middle kingdom
1445
01:32:43,875 --> 01:32:45,917
to the scene of the final battle.
1446
01:33:03,292 --> 01:33:05,125
- What on earth is this?
- Not sure.
1447
01:33:05,292 --> 01:33:07,708
Suddenly, I can't smell the laurels.
1448
01:33:08,250 --> 01:33:09,583
Pine boxes maybe.
1449
01:33:18,583 --> 01:33:20,083
I am Empress of China.
1450
01:33:20,250 --> 01:33:22,708
I order you
to leave my empire forthwith.
1451
01:33:23,792 --> 01:33:24,917
Never!
1452
01:33:25,417 --> 01:33:27,500
She has a temper.
Reminds me of someone.
1453
01:33:29,500 --> 01:33:30,625
Your Majesty!
1454
01:33:31,500 --> 01:33:33,750
Rather than ruin everything in anger,
1455
01:33:33,917 --> 01:33:36,500
perhaps we could envisage
a sort of alliance.
1456
01:33:36,875 --> 01:33:39,375
When the cloud conceals the sun,
1457
01:33:39,542 --> 01:33:41,833
my army will reduce you to dust.
1458
01:33:42,708 --> 01:33:43,875
What's that?
1459
01:33:44,417 --> 01:33:45,417
A local proverb?
1460
01:33:45,500 --> 01:33:48,125
No, it's literal. It's happening.
1461
01:33:53,833 --> 01:33:55,042
How many of you?
1462
01:33:55,208 --> 01:33:56,333
He's at it again.
1463
01:33:57,000 --> 01:33:58,000
One
1464
01:33:58,458 --> 01:33:59,458
million!
1465
01:34:02,333 --> 01:34:03,417
Game changer.
1466
01:34:05,167 --> 01:34:07,292
I'll be going. I'm not from here.
1467
01:34:07,458 --> 01:34:09,625
I'll be in Rome. Keep me posted.
1468
01:34:10,417 --> 01:34:11,500
Don't desert us.
1469
01:34:11,667 --> 01:34:13,042
There's a million of them.
1470
01:34:13,833 --> 01:34:15,042
It's not my war.
1471
01:34:20,625 --> 01:34:21,917
I can't go like this.
1472
01:34:25,042 --> 01:34:26,042
Rear up!
1473
01:34:37,583 --> 01:34:38,625
Got your message!
1474
01:34:38,792 --> 01:34:41,667
Say goodbye to my little pyramid!
Cleopatra
1475
01:34:43,167 --> 01:34:44,625
It's been a tough day.
1476
01:34:45,458 --> 01:34:46,458
A tough day.
1477
01:35:25,750 --> 01:35:27,167
That feels good.
1478
01:35:28,667 --> 01:35:30,667
Here we are, back in Gaul.
1479
01:35:31,167 --> 01:35:33,750
Not only
for our friends' customary banquet.
1480
01:35:34,458 --> 01:35:38,333
But also to celebrate Gaul and China.
1481
01:35:41,625 --> 01:35:44,292
And now the Empress will speak.
1482
01:35:46,333 --> 01:35:47,375
Valiant Gauls!
1483
01:35:48,542 --> 01:35:50,500
You have my eternal gratitude.
1484
01:35:51,083 --> 01:35:53,208
It was an honour, Your Majesty.
1485
01:35:53,875 --> 01:35:55,542
I insisted we come to help.
1486
01:35:57,042 --> 01:35:58,792
We made this long journey
1487
01:35:58,958 --> 01:36:00,833
to celebrate a beautiful alliance.
1488
01:36:09,625 --> 01:36:11,083
That's my cousin Remix.
1489
01:36:11,708 --> 01:36:13,500
A specialist in world music.
1490
01:36:14,333 --> 01:36:15,458
He's my cousin.
1491
01:36:15,625 --> 01:36:17,792
Mine. Not yours, mine!
1492
01:37:04,500 --> 01:37:06,917
We have a lot in common, you and I.
1493
01:37:07,083 --> 01:37:08,125
We're chiefs.
1494
01:37:08,292 --> 01:37:10,750
I always think
power isolates you from people.
1495
01:37:10,917 --> 01:37:12,417
Don't you agree?
1496
01:37:14,542 --> 01:37:16,333
And I'm not done.
1497
01:37:16,500 --> 01:37:18,667
And behind every great man
1498
01:37:18,833 --> 01:37:19,875
is a great woman.
1499
01:37:20,042 --> 01:37:22,958
Without Impedimenta, I'm nothing.
At home, she holds the shield.
1500
01:37:23,125 --> 01:37:25,708
I'm not disturbing you?
You're having a good day?
1501
01:37:27,167 --> 01:37:28,167
We'll talk at home.
1502
01:37:29,750 --> 01:37:30,750
Mimenta!
1503
01:37:31,292 --> 01:37:33,833
Excuse me, minor marital contretemps.
1504
01:37:37,500 --> 01:37:39,625
I thought he'd never leave.
1505
01:37:40,792 --> 01:37:43,917
You know, when you left the cell,
I kept my head...
1506
01:37:45,500 --> 01:37:46,583
However...
1507
01:37:47,167 --> 01:37:48,333
I lost my heart.
1508
01:37:49,125 --> 01:37:50,250
Now, now.
1509
01:37:50,750 --> 01:37:53,333
Well then, where's my little heart?
1510
01:37:55,958 --> 01:37:57,000
Bankruptis, look.
1511
01:37:57,500 --> 01:37:59,333
Uncle didn't nod off in prison.
1512
01:38:00,292 --> 01:38:01,333
Classy!
1513
01:38:08,208 --> 01:38:09,208
One more plate.
1514
01:38:09,292 --> 01:38:11,250
No, a dish. A big dish! Share?
1515
01:38:12,292 --> 01:38:13,292
I won't crack.
1516
01:38:13,333 --> 01:38:14,333
Silly me.
1517
01:38:15,625 --> 01:38:17,083
Still don't miss it?
1518
01:38:17,542 --> 01:38:18,917
Not at all.
1519
01:38:19,167 --> 01:38:20,333
Honestly...
1520
01:38:20,667 --> 01:38:21,792
the smell is vile.
1521
01:38:23,125 --> 01:38:25,000
There are still triggers, though.
1522
01:38:26,000 --> 01:38:28,208
Drink an ale and it becomes tricky.
1523
01:38:29,750 --> 01:38:30,750
Hi, Obelix.
1524
01:38:31,417 --> 01:38:32,417
Panacea.
1525
01:38:33,292 --> 01:38:34,292
I'm interrupting?
1526
01:38:35,208 --> 01:38:36,500
I can see I am.
1527
01:38:37,167 --> 01:38:38,292
You ignore me now.
1528
01:38:39,792 --> 01:38:40,917
Are the rumours true?
1529
01:38:41,292 --> 01:38:42,375
You and Miss Tik?
1530
01:38:43,417 --> 01:38:44,417
Seriously?
1531
01:38:44,458 --> 01:38:46,458
Long-distance relationships
don't work.
1532
01:38:46,625 --> 01:38:49,375
Honestly, her there, you here...
And I'm here.
1533
01:38:50,000 --> 01:38:52,667
Waiting for you for months,
worried sick,
1534
01:38:52,833 --> 01:38:54,250
and you fall in love?
1535
01:38:55,125 --> 01:38:56,250
Don't you love me?
1536
01:38:57,208 --> 01:38:58,542
Is that a yes or a no?
1537
01:38:58,875 --> 01:39:00,000
You wanted me.
1538
01:39:00,500 --> 01:39:01,625
Is it a yes or a no?
1539
01:39:02,000 --> 01:39:03,667
- I forget you?
- Say yes!
1540
01:39:03,833 --> 01:39:04,917
Panacea...
1541
01:39:06,083 --> 01:39:07,083
Don't bother.
1542
01:39:07,417 --> 01:39:10,333
You know the village
thrives on new adventures.
1543
01:39:11,625 --> 01:39:13,667
It's time for me to do the same.
1544
01:39:13,833 --> 01:39:14,833
Nothing personal.
1545
01:39:15,917 --> 01:39:16,917
Excuse me...
1546
01:39:17,750 --> 01:39:18,750
You're nuts.
1547
01:39:20,792 --> 01:39:21,792
But I'd...
1548
01:41:45,583 --> 01:41:46,750
Good, wasn't it?
1549
01:41:47,042 --> 01:41:48,792
Everyone had a great time.
1550
01:41:50,542 --> 01:41:51,750
Yes, a fine feast.
1551
01:41:54,658 --> 01:41:56,825
So Miss Tik has gone home?
1552
01:41:57,158 --> 01:41:58,783
Sure. It's a long ride.
1553
01:42:00,867 --> 01:42:02,408
She said I'm her true love.
1554
01:42:03,658 --> 01:42:04,658
Did she?
1555
01:42:05,367 --> 01:42:06,367
Wonderful.
1556
01:42:07,325 --> 01:42:08,408
Even so...
1557
01:42:08,992 --> 01:42:09,992
she didn't stay?
1558
01:42:10,075 --> 01:42:11,825
She'd have loved to but...
1559
01:42:12,283 --> 01:42:15,492
Too much work in China,
lots of responsibility at the palace.
1560
01:42:16,408 --> 01:42:18,242
But there's time, we'll meet again.
1561
01:42:18,575 --> 01:42:19,575
As grown-ups.
1562
01:42:20,533 --> 01:42:21,533
As grown-ups?
1563
01:42:21,783 --> 01:42:22,783
Yes.
1564
01:42:25,242 --> 01:42:26,867
Tired. I'm going to bed.
1565
01:42:32,450 --> 01:42:33,700
One for the road?
1566
01:42:34,075 --> 01:42:35,617
I wouldn't say no.
1567
01:42:45,158 --> 01:42:46,158
My chum!
1568
01:42:55,283 --> 01:42:56,658
You're strangling me!
1569
01:43:01,992 --> 01:43:02,992
THE END
1570
01:43:03,158 --> 01:43:05,533
For Ren� Goscinny and Albert Uderzo
1571
01:44:04,992 --> 01:44:06,783
You don't want me to sing?
1572
01:44:11,325 --> 01:44:12,742
I'm gonna sing anyway
1573
01:44:14,908 --> 01:44:16,617
You don't want me to sing?
1574
01:44:18,408 --> 01:44:20,117
You don't want me to sing
1575
01:44:20,492 --> 01:44:21,617
The surprise!
1576
01:44:21,783 --> 01:44:23,367
- What surprise?
- Hold on.
1577
01:44:26,075 --> 01:44:28,867
So what is it?
My voice or just me?
1578
01:44:29,033 --> 01:44:31,450
So is it me or my voice?
1579
01:44:32,617 --> 01:44:35,408
So is my voice not right?
It's what you don't like?
1580
01:44:35,575 --> 01:44:37,200
Or is it just me?
1581
01:44:37,992 --> 01:44:40,658
Tell me what's wrong
Always something wrong
1582
01:44:41,992 --> 01:44:43,658
Don't do this, don't do that
1583
01:44:43,825 --> 01:44:46,492
Is it my lyrics or my voice
I don't get it
1584
01:44:46,658 --> 01:44:49,450
Don't call me paranoid
You're all against me
1585
01:45:14,492 --> 01:45:15,825
Caesar said,
1586
01:45:16,242 --> 01:45:18,325
"I want it gleaming
when I get back."
1587
01:45:19,075 --> 01:45:20,158
So buff!
1588
01:45:20,992 --> 01:45:22,200
Buff, buff, buff!
1589
01:45:24,658 --> 01:45:25,867
That's the spirit!
1590
01:45:29,158 --> 01:45:30,450
You keep Gaul.
1591
01:45:30,617 --> 01:45:32,575
I take China, rest of the world.
1592
01:45:32,742 --> 01:45:33,908
It'll go gangbusters.
1593
01:45:34,075 --> 01:45:36,242
Take it or leave it right now.
1594
01:45:36,742 --> 01:45:38,367
What might go gangbusters?
1595
01:45:38,533 --> 01:45:40,242
- I didn't say that.
- Sure you did.
1596
01:45:40,408 --> 01:45:42,033
Top-notch merchants like me,
1597
01:45:42,200 --> 01:45:44,825
we read your lips
even 5 km away.
1598
01:45:44,992 --> 01:45:46,783
- Why'd you say that?
- I didn't!
1599
01:45:46,950 --> 01:45:48,908
- You did.
- I'll lash out!
1600
01:45:51,242 --> 01:45:54,033
You know, duckie,
your Julius is no lost cause.
1601
01:45:54,200 --> 01:45:56,533
So just send him a message,
1602
01:45:56,700 --> 01:45:59,658
"I'd go above and beyond,
I'd dye my hair blond..."
1603
01:45:59,825 --> 01:46:02,367
It's in the bag.
The rascal will be back.
1604
01:46:03,408 --> 01:46:06,283
You're right.
Why did I ever flip my headdress?
1605
01:46:09,242 --> 01:46:12,033
Flat out.
You got a pigeon charger?
1606
01:46:12,658 --> 01:46:14,658
Sit tight, I'll find you one.
1607
01:46:15,950 --> 01:46:17,742
With an Egyptian connector!
1608
01:46:18,367 --> 01:46:19,367
Why Egyptian?
1609
01:46:31,242 --> 01:46:33,492
Are you done making a ruckus?
1610
01:46:34,075 --> 01:46:35,742
We're trying to sleep!
1611
01:46:41,367 --> 01:46:42,367
Sorry.
1612
01:46:46,575 --> 01:46:48,033
Goodnight!
1613
01:46:48,200 --> 01:46:50,325
Goodnight, little Gauls!