1 00:00:02,194 --> 00:00:05,061 'Previously, on The Royals...' 2 00:00:05,261 --> 00:00:07,578 We're not gonna have another day like we had today. 3 00:00:07,580 --> 00:00:09,947 Cos if we do, I'm releasing the video. 4 00:00:09,949 --> 00:00:11,281 We keep having coffee together, 5 00:00:11,283 --> 00:00:13,216 it might eventually turn into a real date. 6 00:00:13,218 --> 00:00:14,935 About that... 7 00:00:14,937 --> 00:00:16,219 I'm sorry. 8 00:00:16,221 --> 00:00:18,355 You're the next King of England 9 00:00:18,357 --> 00:00:20,360 and there aren't many girls out there 10 00:00:20,385 --> 00:00:22,385 who are gonna understand what that means 11 00:00:22,962 --> 00:00:24,895 and you're gonna need a girl like that. 12 00:00:25,364 --> 00:00:27,614 Look out! 13 00:00:28,867 --> 00:00:31,868 How did the press not know about you and Gemma? 14 00:00:31,868 --> 00:00:33,467 An extraction protocol. 15 00:00:33,469 --> 00:00:35,669 - You just left her there? - I have to. 16 00:00:36,422 --> 00:00:40,608 You get it all sorted and want to have a proper date, you have my number. 17 00:00:40,610 --> 00:00:42,660 I know I've made mistakes. 18 00:00:42,662 --> 00:00:44,912 I'd give it all up to have Robert back. 19 00:00:44,914 --> 00:00:47,948 But I've been told I might make a great King one day. 20 00:00:47,950 --> 00:00:49,617 Just give me a chance. 21 00:00:49,619 --> 00:00:53,454 Let's put him on the plane tour, see how the people respond to him. 22 00:00:53,456 --> 00:00:56,857 The plane tour is the one chance I have to curry favor with the people. 23 00:00:57,059 --> 00:01:00,027 I understand. But you're not the next King of England. 24 00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:21,413 Ah, there it is. 25 00:01:22,449 --> 00:01:24,249 My hero, Dr. Cohen. 26 00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:25,900 As always. 27 00:01:26,686 --> 00:01:29,237 How long will it take? 28 00:01:29,239 --> 00:01:31,489 As I told you the last time, Your Highness, 29 00:01:31,491 --> 00:01:33,475 the electrolytes and vitamins in the I.V. 30 00:01:33,477 --> 00:01:36,561 will take 10-15 minutes to remove the hangover, 31 00:01:36,563 --> 00:01:38,530 depending on the severity. 32 00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:41,382 Oh, don't take a judgy tone, doc. 33 00:01:41,384 --> 00:01:45,570 OK? It is not easy entertaining foreign dignitaries myself, 34 00:01:45,572 --> 00:01:48,273 with the family out of town. 35 00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:51,409 Who'd have thought the Crown Prince of Liechtenstein 36 00:01:51,409 --> 00:01:53,008 could put them back that easily? 37 00:01:53,010 --> 00:01:55,411 I mean, Liechtenstein. 38 00:01:55,413 --> 00:01:57,479 Your Highness. 39 00:02:25,231 --> 00:02:28,231 00:05:49,144 Just say you're not interested. 98 00:05:49,146 --> 00:05:50,796 I can take it. 99 00:05:50,931 --> 00:05:54,833 Okay, fine. Why don't you come by my place? We can hang out here. 100 00:05:54,835 --> 00:05:57,886 Just to be clear, by "your place" you mean the Royal Palace? 101 00:05:57,888 --> 00:05:59,772 Yes. 102 00:05:59,774 --> 00:06:01,857 My dad and the King are still in Canada. 103 00:06:01,859 --> 00:06:04,359 And the rest of the family is on the countryside tour. 104 00:06:04,562 --> 00:06:07,780 So we'll have the whole place to ourselves. 105 00:06:07,782 --> 00:06:09,915 And a day's worth of tourists. 106 00:06:09,917 --> 00:06:11,583 'And about 1,000 staff members.' 107 00:06:11,585 --> 00:06:14,219 - Give or take. - Sounds cozy. 108 00:06:22,530 --> 00:06:24,163 The hell are you wearing? 109 00:06:24,165 --> 00:06:27,015 Kid thinks he's going for a night out in Soho. 110 00:06:27,017 --> 00:06:31,103 Absolutely not. The stylists laid something more "country appropriate" on your bed. 111 00:06:31,105 --> 00:06:33,939 - What about you? - I'm the Queen. 112 00:06:33,941 --> 00:06:36,575 People expect me to look like the Queen. 113 00:06:36,577 --> 00:06:38,660 Now, please, go change. 114 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:42,881 He seems about as enthusiastic as I am. 115 00:06:42,883 --> 00:06:45,717 You used to love this annual tour. 116 00:06:45,719 --> 00:06:48,554 Must have sired children all up and down the countryside. 117 00:06:48,556 --> 00:06:50,589 It was fun when it was my tour. 118 00:06:50,591 --> 00:06:53,142 Not since it got handed over to Prince Playboy. 119 00:06:54,094 --> 00:06:59,898 At least now I don't have to step off the plane and ruin my new bespoke Jimmy Choo's. 120 00:06:59,900 --> 00:07:01,600 Or bump into any of your bastards. 121 00:07:01,602 --> 00:07:03,652 Win-win. 122 00:07:12,830 --> 00:07:14,947 Bloody hell. Don't stop there. 123 00:07:16,584 --> 00:07:19,952 Get it? I'm a lady-in-waiting. 124 00:07:19,954 --> 00:07:21,453 It's a double entendre... 125 00:07:21,455 --> 00:07:23,372 Yeah, I get it. 126 00:07:23,924 --> 00:07:26,675 I never realized how hot you are when you're focused. 127 00:07:26,677 --> 00:07:30,512 - Gemma, I think perhaps... - Don't worry. I'm not staying. 128 00:07:30,514 --> 00:07:31,964 You have a lot on your mind. 129 00:07:31,966 --> 00:07:33,966 I know how important the tour is, 130 00:07:33,968 --> 00:07:37,469 the world finally getting a peek at the King I know you are. 131 00:07:38,639 --> 00:07:43,642 I merely came to remind you what the next King of England gets: 132 00:07:44,361 --> 00:07:45,777 me. 133 00:07:45,779 --> 00:07:47,529 On a plane. 134 00:07:47,531 --> 00:07:48,981 Tonight. 135 00:07:50,034 --> 00:07:52,150 Make me proud out there, Baby. 136 00:07:52,369 --> 00:07:54,586 Don't keep this lady waiting too long. 137 00:08:05,538 --> 00:08:08,638 I can't overstate the significance of the next couple of days 138 00:08:08,964 --> 00:08:13,099 This being the first time the public will see you as the new heir. 139 00:08:13,101 --> 00:08:16,201 Do not screw up. 140 00:08:16,201 --> 00:08:18,701 Furthermore, to avoid epic press failures, 141 00:08:18,703 --> 00:08:21,854 you must stick only to the pre-approved script and topics. 142 00:08:21,856 --> 00:08:23,839 Don't try and tell any jokes. 143 00:08:23,841 --> 00:08:28,594 We never talk about money, race, sexual identity, or religion. 144 00:08:28,596 --> 00:08:30,363 What does that leave to talk about? 145 00:08:30,365 --> 00:08:32,031 Cheese. 146 00:08:32,033 --> 00:08:35,484 They're very proud of their cheese in this part of the kingdom. 147 00:08:35,486 --> 00:08:38,421 The unique import of this countryside tour 148 00:08:38,423 --> 00:08:41,292 is it allows us a chance to remind the people who we are 149 00:08:41,317 --> 00:08:43,217 and what we can do for them. 150 00:08:43,294 --> 00:08:45,811 Robert got scrutinized on appearances, 151 00:08:45,811 --> 00:08:48,829 even his socks would sell out when photos of him were published. 152 00:08:48,831 --> 00:08:51,665 Maybe it had more to do with the man wearing them. 153 00:08:52,251 --> 00:08:54,284 Well, we'll see, won't we? 154 00:08:55,587 --> 00:08:58,255 Now, then, try not to sleep with anyone in the villages. 155 00:08:58,257 --> 00:09:00,590 Hard as that may be. 156 00:09:01,677 --> 00:09:03,760 Thank you. 157 00:09:05,230 --> 00:09:07,197 What's with the gloves, dear? 158 00:09:07,199 --> 00:09:09,232 People out here can be filthy. 159 00:09:09,234 --> 00:09:11,535 - Quite. - Nonsense. 160 00:09:12,037 --> 00:09:14,120 How do you do? Thank you, darling. 161 00:09:14,122 --> 00:09:16,239 Thank you. 162 00:09:20,629 --> 00:09:22,762 Give me those gloves. 163 00:09:25,734 --> 00:09:27,851 Thank you. 164 00:09:30,072 --> 00:09:33,156 Mm, quite good. 165 00:09:33,158 --> 00:09:35,992 Very... texture-y. 166 00:09:39,381 --> 00:09:41,848 Perhaps it's time to throw that one out, yeah? 167 00:09:43,769 --> 00:09:46,052 You know, because of the mold. 168 00:09:46,054 --> 00:09:48,138 No jokes. Be kingly. 169 00:09:51,777 --> 00:09:53,610 Excuse us. 170 00:09:53,612 --> 00:09:55,695 Coming through. Make room. 171 00:09:56,498 --> 00:09:57,948 Thank you, Your Royal Highness. 172 00:09:57,950 --> 00:10:00,500 Of course. So have you chosen a name? 173 00:10:00,502 --> 00:10:02,586 For what? 174 00:10:05,891 --> 00:10:07,891 In defense, she looked quite pregnant. 175 00:10:07,893 --> 00:10:11,027 I don't care if she looked like the Blessed bloody Virgin herself. 176 00:10:11,029 --> 00:10:12,779 Never say that to a woman. 177 00:10:12,781 --> 00:10:15,782 This is why you stand only where we damn-well tell you 178 00:10:15,784 --> 00:10:18,001 and say only what we damn-well tell you. 179 00:10:18,003 --> 00:10:21,972 And do not, under any circumstances, talk to any more fat people. 180 00:10:39,791 --> 00:10:43,376 Oh, no, I can't. 181 00:10:43,378 --> 00:10:45,194 The E hasn't kicked in. 182 00:10:45,194 --> 00:10:49,997 What am I even supposed to talk about with old people? 183 00:10:49,999 --> 00:10:51,716 No, we should cancel. 184 00:10:51,718 --> 00:10:53,217 You'll be fine. 185 00:10:53,219 --> 00:10:55,636 You just have to walk around a bit, 186 00:10:55,638 --> 00:10:58,105 look at some water color paintings, take some photos. 187 00:10:58,107 --> 00:10:59,607 Should actually be quite... 188 00:10:59,609 --> 00:11:01,726 Oh, my God. 189 00:11:04,697 --> 00:11:10,167 Jasper, you are so smooth. 190 00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:16,190 I mean, this is incredible. 191 00:11:17,460 --> 00:11:19,560 The princess is ready. 192 00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:31,589 Come here. 193 00:11:31,958 --> 00:11:34,008 Aw, can I have your jelly? 194 00:11:34,377 --> 00:11:36,510 It's a mad thing. 195 00:11:43,019 --> 00:11:45,853 Oh, this hair. 196 00:11:45,855 --> 00:11:48,406 It's like cotton candy. 197 00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:50,875 - Do you mind...? - Off we go, Your Highness. 198 00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:53,494 Can't keep the puppies at the animal shelter waiting. 199 00:11:53,496 --> 00:11:56,330 Oh, I desperately want to smell a puppy. 200 00:11:56,330 --> 00:11:58,413 Ooh. 201 00:12:01,285 --> 00:12:03,368 I'll bring you one to smell. 202 00:12:03,704 --> 00:12:05,203 Okay, bye. 203 00:12:05,205 --> 00:12:07,055 Bye. Bye. Bye. 204 00:12:12,646 --> 00:12:16,181 Oh, look, Jasper! A gift shop! 205 00:12:16,183 --> 00:12:18,016 One bottle of morphine, please. 206 00:12:18,018 --> 00:12:19,935 She's kidding, obviously. 207 00:12:19,937 --> 00:12:22,020 Obviously. 208 00:12:26,126 --> 00:12:29,261 'Seriously no idea where I am.' 209 00:12:29,263 --> 00:12:32,964 I must've been by here five times. 210 00:12:32,966 --> 00:12:36,051 - 'Give me a landmark.' - Okay. 211 00:12:36,053 --> 00:12:38,270 I'm in front of a tiny boy in a red blazer 212 00:12:38,272 --> 00:12:39,988 that I'm trying not to look at. 213 00:12:39,990 --> 00:12:41,740 Oh, no, I've done it. 214 00:12:41,742 --> 00:12:43,108 Now I can't look away. 215 00:12:43,110 --> 00:12:45,076 Oh, no... The Henry the Sixth. 216 00:12:45,078 --> 00:12:47,612 Don't let it suck you in. Quick, turn back. 217 00:12:48,248 --> 00:12:51,783 So this is, what, your TV room? 218 00:12:51,785 --> 00:12:55,370 And it's now known as the King's Red State Room. 219 00:12:58,292 --> 00:13:04,045 This portrait of Henry the Sixth was done on his fifth birthday, 220 00:13:04,631 --> 00:13:07,549 over five years after he first became King. 221 00:13:07,968 --> 00:13:10,769 Now, any queries on what we've seen so far? 222 00:13:10,771 --> 00:13:13,104 What's the latest with Coffee Girl? 223 00:13:14,892 --> 00:13:17,142 Historical queries only, please. 224 00:13:17,811 --> 00:13:20,862 And now the privileged behind-the-scenes tour. 225 00:13:20,864 --> 00:13:22,981 Lucky for you, you know someone. 226 00:13:35,329 --> 00:13:37,629 You seriously wouldn't believe 227 00:13:37,631 --> 00:13:41,299 how big these little scissors feel to me right now. 228 00:13:54,848 --> 00:13:57,182 Ooh, Jasper. 229 00:13:57,184 --> 00:13:59,317 Oh, Prince Rufus. 230 00:14:12,199 --> 00:14:14,082 Stop messing with my personal life. 231 00:14:14,084 --> 00:14:16,701 I haven't a clue what you're going on about. 232 00:14:18,839 --> 00:14:21,406 I can't stop the press reading between the lines. 233 00:14:21,406 --> 00:14:23,539 There are no lines to read between. 234 00:14:25,143 --> 00:14:28,895 Listen, don't overthink things, my love. 235 00:14:28,897 --> 00:14:30,980 Let me simplify things for you. 236 00:14:32,366 --> 00:14:37,653 Our number one role on tours like this is to seem interested. 237 00:14:38,456 --> 00:14:41,206 Why not be interested? 238 00:14:41,208 --> 00:14:43,325 Don't be naive. 239 00:14:48,666 --> 00:14:52,968 This very tunnel is the reason no one died in the Midnight Fire of 1822. 240 00:14:53,170 --> 00:14:55,588 Not one royal or staff member. 241 00:14:55,590 --> 00:14:59,341 And bonus, it's right about here you get service. 242 00:14:59,343 --> 00:15:01,343 How far do these tunnels go? 243 00:15:01,345 --> 00:15:02,845 All the way to Hyde Park. 244 00:15:02,847 --> 00:15:06,348 Great, so I can go out this way then? 245 00:15:06,350 --> 00:15:07,784 When your dad comes home to find us making out 246 00:15:07,786 --> 00:15:09,869 and I need a quick escape route. 247 00:15:14,775 --> 00:15:16,859 Just kidding, Phi... 248 00:15:16,861 --> 00:15:19,361 Huh? What? 249 00:15:19,363 --> 00:15:21,497 Right. Sorry, I just... 250 00:15:22,833 --> 00:15:24,867 Everything OK? 251 00:15:24,869 --> 00:15:26,286 Yeah. 252 00:15:26,288 --> 00:15:29,205 How about we get a quick photo and then get some food? 253 00:15:43,805 --> 00:15:46,705 So... Anything? Whatever you want? 254 00:15:46,731 --> 00:15:49,365 Yeah. The kitchen will whip up anything you want. 255 00:15:50,168 --> 00:15:52,635 Then I would have ordered another scoop. 256 00:15:53,972 --> 00:15:58,074 OK, I know my joke about us making out was lame, 257 00:15:58,074 --> 00:16:00,050 but I truly meant nothing by... 258 00:16:00,051 --> 00:16:01,185 No, sorry. 259 00:16:01,187 --> 00:16:03,020 It's not that. 260 00:16:03,022 --> 00:16:06,390 It's something you saw on your phone earlier. 261 00:16:06,390 --> 00:16:08,657 Perhaps Prince-related. 262 00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:11,627 How about this? 263 00:16:11,629 --> 00:16:15,781 In order to make this a fair fight between me and the Prince, 264 00:16:15,783 --> 00:16:18,584 I believe I deserve a home match, right? 265 00:16:18,586 --> 00:16:21,102 I'll show you my piece of the world. 266 00:16:21,102 --> 00:16:23,836 It might not have crown molding made of real gold, 267 00:16:23,838 --> 00:16:26,038 but I kind of like it. 268 00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:30,526 If you let me do this, and you're still thinking about your Prince, 269 00:16:30,528 --> 00:16:33,062 then I'll back away. 270 00:16:33,064 --> 00:16:34,997 Deal? 271 00:16:34,999 --> 00:16:37,116 - Deal. - Brill. 272 00:16:37,819 --> 00:16:39,919 - And no phones. - Easy! 273 00:16:39,921 --> 00:16:42,388 A little too handsy with a girl's ice cream. 274 00:16:46,494 --> 00:16:48,611 Like I said, hot when you're focused. 275 00:16:52,467 --> 00:16:54,667 The lady grew tired of waiting for him. 276 00:16:56,270 --> 00:16:58,354 How do you do it? 277 00:16:59,307 --> 00:17:01,574 What, darling? 278 00:17:01,576 --> 00:17:05,211 How is it you know every trick imaginable to get people to like you? 279 00:17:05,213 --> 00:17:07,213 All the regional traditions, 280 00:17:07,215 --> 00:17:09,682 all the things to say and not say, 281 00:17:09,684 --> 00:17:12,518 when to use French, and when to quote a local poet. 282 00:17:13,688 --> 00:17:16,455 It all just sticks with you so easily. 283 00:17:16,457 --> 00:17:18,557 You don't understand, do you? 284 00:17:20,161 --> 00:17:21,627 It's survival, really. 285 00:17:21,629 --> 00:17:23,295 If my body doesn't do the trick, 286 00:17:23,297 --> 00:17:28,017 then that's all I've got left to get people to like me. 287 00:17:30,154 --> 00:17:32,071 So, yeah, I could tell you 288 00:17:32,073 --> 00:17:35,891 that the famous giant John Middleton was from Hale Village, 289 00:17:35,891 --> 00:17:38,074 or any number of facts about the place. 290 00:17:39,444 --> 00:17:41,161 But you don't need it. 291 00:17:41,163 --> 00:17:44,497 Because you've got what most of us don't have, 292 00:17:45,717 --> 00:17:48,685 what we could never learn: 293 00:17:48,687 --> 00:17:50,754 natural charisma. 294 00:17:51,690 --> 00:17:54,357 People like you for you. That's not nothing. 295 00:17:55,494 --> 00:17:59,029 I say just be yourself and stop trying so hard. 296 00:18:03,302 --> 00:18:05,485 "Be interested..." Ha. 297 00:18:05,487 --> 00:18:08,371 I doubt he'll ever get the hang of it. 298 00:18:08,373 --> 00:18:09,873 Robert didn't rebel. 299 00:18:09,875 --> 00:18:11,374 He didn't ask questions. 300 00:18:11,376 --> 00:18:13,426 He just got it. 301 00:18:14,379 --> 00:18:15,795 Robert was special. 302 00:18:15,797 --> 00:18:18,431 Some people are just born for this. 303 00:18:19,184 --> 00:18:21,534 With Liam, you never know what you're gonna get. 304 00:18:21,536 --> 00:18:22,986 Which doesn't bode well 305 00:18:22,988 --> 00:18:25,789 when Simon's talking all about this abolishment nonsense. 306 00:18:31,563 --> 00:18:34,064 Who knew? 307 00:18:34,066 --> 00:18:36,566 Four minutes earlier, she'd have been the next heir. 308 00:18:37,102 --> 00:18:39,169 At least someone enjoyed their day. 309 00:18:42,290 --> 00:18:47,426 Why can't I ever remember how awful coming down off X is before taking it? 310 00:18:49,448 --> 00:18:51,531 Effing brutal... 311 00:18:53,068 --> 00:18:56,119 All those poor old people. 312 00:18:56,121 --> 00:18:58,321 They're just gonna die soon, you know? 313 00:18:59,508 --> 00:19:01,591 And those poor animals. 314 00:19:01,793 --> 00:19:03,877 They're gonna die, too. 315 00:19:06,031 --> 00:19:08,098 It's a dreadful world we live in. 316 00:19:11,820 --> 00:19:15,789 Which, of course, always leads me back to you, Jasper. 317 00:19:16,908 --> 00:19:21,460 Is this where you take advantage of me again? 318 00:19:25,717 --> 00:19:27,801 Is that what you want? 319 00:19:29,471 --> 00:19:31,721 Of course not. 320 00:19:32,357 --> 00:19:35,558 Who would want any of this? 321 00:19:59,567 --> 00:20:02,885 Bloody hell. Marcus, be a dear and fetch my earrings. 322 00:20:02,885 --> 00:20:04,468 I left them on the vanity. 323 00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:07,054 I hope you didn't just mistake me for a footman. 324 00:20:07,890 --> 00:20:09,773 Well, there's no need for attitude. 325 00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:11,558 No attitude. 326 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:13,894 Just fact: Not a footman. 327 00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:16,863 OK. Like facts, do you? 328 00:20:16,865 --> 00:20:19,633 Here's one: I'll be around for a while now. 329 00:20:20,069 --> 00:20:22,669 You don't want to help a friend out, fine, 330 00:20:22,671 --> 00:20:26,573 but it's best for everyone that you and I have a meaningful relationship. 331 00:20:26,575 --> 00:20:29,142 Don't remember giving me this speech last year? 332 00:20:29,345 --> 00:20:32,412 Before you broke his heart by running off to Madagascar after, 333 00:20:32,414 --> 00:20:34,548 who was it that time? 334 00:20:34,550 --> 00:20:36,583 Ryan Reynolds? 335 00:20:36,585 --> 00:20:40,420 Leaving Liam here to pick up the pieces of himself you trampled on? 336 00:20:41,457 --> 00:20:45,491 And now you pop back up at a suspiciously coincidental time 337 00:20:45,491 --> 00:20:48,025 and expect him to hand those pieces back to you 338 00:20:48,027 --> 00:20:50,194 like nothing ever happened 339 00:20:50,196 --> 00:20:52,280 just because you're a good lay? 340 00:20:53,199 --> 00:20:55,700 That's the most I've ever heard you speak, Marcus. 341 00:20:55,702 --> 00:20:57,201 And in complete sentences. 342 00:20:57,503 --> 00:21:00,087 I have a few more complete sentences for you. 343 00:21:00,390 --> 00:21:03,057 But I'm not sure you could recover from them. 344 00:21:04,044 --> 00:21:07,979 I've always admired your straight-faced sass, Marcus, 345 00:21:08,781 --> 00:21:11,065 but I expect the charm will wear off soon. 346 00:21:17,207 --> 00:21:19,624 Not a good lay, by the way. 347 00:21:19,626 --> 00:21:21,693 Great lay. 348 00:21:28,837 --> 00:21:31,138 Wonderful to meet you. How do you do? 349 00:21:35,561 --> 00:21:38,345 So this is where Big John Middleton grew up? 350 00:21:38,347 --> 00:21:40,430 Yep. 351 00:21:44,103 --> 00:21:46,236 How do you do? 352 00:21:47,690 --> 00:21:49,773 Gotta say, I feel sorry for you. 353 00:21:49,775 --> 00:21:53,694 Yeah, supporting Liverpool must be a real bitch. 354 00:21:53,696 --> 00:21:56,279 Each season a bigger disappointment than the last. 355 00:21:56,281 --> 00:21:57,847 And who is it you support? 356 00:21:57,847 --> 00:22:00,681 Let me guess. Those Chelsea tosspots. 357 00:22:00,681 --> 00:22:02,281 - I bleed blue. - Oh, piss off! 358 00:22:02,283 --> 00:22:04,936 Now hold on! If we're going to argue football, 359 00:22:04,961 --> 00:22:06,961 we should do it in proper fashion: 360 00:22:08,206 --> 00:22:09,772 with pints of beers in our hand. 361 00:22:09,778 --> 00:22:12,078 - Have you got a pub? - Have we got a pub? 362 00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:14,431 Come on. Come on, lads. 363 00:22:17,402 --> 00:22:20,437 How do you do? How do you do? 364 00:22:20,439 --> 00:22:22,522 And how do you do? Oh. 365 00:22:22,524 --> 00:22:24,658 How do you do? 366 00:22:24,660 --> 00:22:26,860 Do you live in a palace like in all the stories? 367 00:22:26,862 --> 00:22:28,828 I do. 368 00:22:28,830 --> 00:22:30,914 My mommy reads me all the stories 369 00:22:30,916 --> 00:22:34,167 about all the princesses and queens every single night. 370 00:22:35,454 --> 00:22:37,704 - Where is your mummy? - She couldn't come. 371 00:22:37,706 --> 00:22:39,506 Our cows got sick. 372 00:22:39,508 --> 00:22:41,207 Oh. 373 00:22:42,044 --> 00:22:46,680 Well, she can't miss her opportunity to meet the Queen, now, can she? 374 00:22:46,682 --> 00:22:48,798 Come on, darling. 375 00:22:54,158 --> 00:22:56,158 Maybe I try it sober today. 376 00:22:57,384 --> 00:22:59,334 Yesterday was fun, sure. 377 00:22:59,334 --> 00:23:04,271 But perhaps I owe it to these poor plebs to put the Crown's best foot forward. 378 00:23:04,806 --> 00:23:06,606 You know, for Dad, at least. 379 00:23:06,608 --> 00:23:08,658 How admirable. 380 00:23:09,411 --> 00:23:12,412 So what is the first stop on the tour today? 381 00:23:12,414 --> 00:23:14,497 St. Luke's Children's Hospital. 382 00:23:18,403 --> 00:23:20,520 I need a drink. 383 00:23:24,026 --> 00:23:28,662 Drink, drink! 384 00:23:31,683 --> 00:23:33,967 Another round, please. 385 00:23:36,271 --> 00:23:39,189 You seem charming, like you're good fun. 386 00:23:39,942 --> 00:23:41,274 Thank you. 387 00:23:41,276 --> 00:23:43,910 But those aren't qualities I want from my King. 388 00:23:43,912 --> 00:23:46,129 Seems that's just me, though. 389 00:23:46,131 --> 00:23:48,248 And what is it you want from your King? 390 00:23:48,917 --> 00:23:53,119 Someone who recognizes when they have the power to make the world a better place. 391 00:23:53,121 --> 00:23:55,438 Someone who changes lives. 392 00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:58,024 And inspires all of us to do the same. 393 00:23:58,360 --> 00:24:02,028 Do that, then I'll say you've done something. 394 00:24:02,030 --> 00:24:04,114 Then I'd call you my King. 395 00:24:18,180 --> 00:24:21,848 You know, I grew up on a farm very much like this. 396 00:24:21,850 --> 00:24:24,317 Then I grew up to be Queen. 397 00:24:25,487 --> 00:24:28,955 Your Majesty, please forgive my absence at the greeting, 398 00:24:28,957 --> 00:24:30,323 - but the cows... - The cows. 399 00:24:30,325 --> 00:24:31,958 Your daughter told me. 400 00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:33,726 I'm sorry to hear they're ill. 401 00:24:33,726 --> 00:24:36,010 It's happening to all the village livestock. 402 00:24:36,012 --> 00:24:38,529 It's the new labeling process the distillery uses. 403 00:24:38,531 --> 00:24:40,615 It's poisoning the ground water. 404 00:24:41,651 --> 00:24:43,918 150 years, it's been there. 405 00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:47,672 Then the owner passes and his son starts cutting costs on the labeling 406 00:24:47,874 --> 00:24:50,424 and dumping all the chemicals in our stream. 407 00:24:50,426 --> 00:24:52,510 And now we all have to suffer. 408 00:24:56,399 --> 00:24:58,516 Tell the press to return to the plane. 409 00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:06,490 I understand she's the Queen of England 410 00:25:06,492 --> 00:25:08,859 but the woman is a complete cow 411 00:25:08,861 --> 00:25:12,129 and, between you and me, I think she's had a little work done. 412 00:25:12,932 --> 00:25:15,016 Do you know what I mean? 413 00:25:16,302 --> 00:25:18,869 Nope. Ah, never mind. 414 00:25:19,238 --> 00:25:22,239 Now, who else here hates their mother? 415 00:25:25,778 --> 00:25:30,364 This is the privileged paella Saturday at Casa Francisca. 416 00:25:30,450 --> 00:25:32,500 Lucky for you, you know someone. 417 00:25:33,086 --> 00:25:35,136 They're here, everyone. Let's eat. 418 00:25:58,094 --> 00:25:59,977 Cheers, everyone. 419 00:25:59,979 --> 00:26:02,229 Cheers! 420 00:26:30,777 --> 00:26:32,910 Saddle-maker, yeah? 421 00:26:33,162 --> 00:26:35,880 It's okay. Stay seated. It's alright. 422 00:26:36,833 --> 00:26:43,020 May I? I play a bit of polo. 423 00:26:43,022 --> 00:26:45,973 - You're good. - Thank you, Your Highness. 424 00:26:45,975 --> 00:26:48,959 But none of this is my work. It's my father's. 425 00:26:48,959 --> 00:26:50,859 That's not a saddle you're working on? 426 00:26:50,861 --> 00:26:53,261 It's a saddle I'm trying to work on. 427 00:26:53,263 --> 00:26:56,181 I can't produce the same quality as my father does, 428 00:26:56,183 --> 00:26:58,483 no matter how many hours I spend on it. 429 00:26:58,485 --> 00:27:00,852 Guess my heart just isn't in it. 430 00:27:00,854 --> 00:27:02,437 What is your heart in then? 431 00:27:02,439 --> 00:27:04,489 Everyone's heart is in something. 432 00:27:04,491 --> 00:27:06,124 You're holding 'em. 433 00:27:07,077 --> 00:27:10,078 These? You made these? 434 00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:12,831 I've got several now. Boots. 435 00:27:12,833 --> 00:27:14,549 A little shop. That'd be enough. 436 00:27:14,551 --> 00:27:16,251 You should absolutely have it. 437 00:27:16,253 --> 00:27:17,836 These are amazing. 438 00:27:17,838 --> 00:27:19,921 You've seen this village, right? 439 00:27:19,923 --> 00:27:21,923 My father's a saddle-maker. 440 00:27:21,925 --> 00:27:23,842 His before him. 441 00:27:23,844 --> 00:27:25,810 I'll be fifth generation. 442 00:27:25,812 --> 00:27:28,063 Pressures of the family business. 443 00:27:28,565 --> 00:27:30,932 Believe me, I get that. 444 00:27:30,934 --> 00:27:33,351 Then you get that there's our dream, 445 00:27:33,353 --> 00:27:35,437 our maybe-one-day... 446 00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:38,490 and our duty. 447 00:27:57,044 --> 00:27:59,044 Poor kids. 448 00:27:59,046 --> 00:28:03,798 I bet Mom is having a great big laugh right now, sending me there. 449 00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:06,884 Manipulative bitch. 450 00:28:07,888 --> 00:28:09,571 Give me your keys. 451 00:28:09,571 --> 00:28:11,237 Use your own keys. 452 00:28:11,237 --> 00:28:14,738 I'm a princess, Jasper. Why would I ever need keys? Now give. 453 00:28:15,140 --> 00:28:18,008 - Your Highness, the last... - Don't. Save your lecture. 454 00:28:18,010 --> 00:28:20,093 Okay. I'm fine. Keys. 455 00:28:20,896 --> 00:28:24,264 I was just going to remind you the last charity is Robert's. 456 00:28:29,188 --> 00:28:31,271 Damn it. 457 00:28:46,707 --> 00:28:50,907 So, if riding dance troupe practice pieces isn't the final goal, 458 00:28:50,907 --> 00:28:53,008 - then what is? - Who says it's not? 459 00:28:53,110 --> 00:28:55,227 Know what they say about making assumptions. 460 00:28:55,229 --> 00:28:56,595 Well, if so, then congrats. 461 00:28:57,095 --> 00:28:58,395 You did it! 462 00:28:58,397 --> 00:29:00,313 But seriously, help me out here. 463 00:29:00,315 --> 00:29:02,582 When will you have arrived, in your mind? 464 00:29:03,318 --> 00:29:06,486 I like that, "When will you have arrived?" 465 00:29:08,924 --> 00:29:10,123 I don't know. 466 00:29:10,125 --> 00:29:12,058 Come on, it's easy. 467 00:29:12,060 --> 00:29:16,196 For me, it's when I've danced a solo at The Joyce in New York. 468 00:29:16,198 --> 00:29:18,365 Now, first thing that comes to mind: go! 469 00:29:20,002 --> 00:29:22,285 Packed tent at Glastonbury. 470 00:29:22,287 --> 00:29:24,971 My music moving all of them. 471 00:29:24,973 --> 00:29:26,973 Like M83. 472 00:29:26,975 --> 00:29:30,777 The guy writes and performs most of the instruments himself. 473 00:29:30,779 --> 00:29:34,014 And he keeps working it until it's perfect. 474 00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:36,916 Nerve just popped! 475 00:29:37,836 --> 00:29:40,754 Let's go. It'll sell out in five minutes. We gotta move. 476 00:29:40,756 --> 00:29:43,006 What? What's going on? I'm so confused. 477 00:29:43,008 --> 00:29:45,975 You'll love it. Just trust me, OK? 478 00:29:45,977 --> 00:29:48,061 OK. 479 00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:56,052 As my faithful subject, by simply switching to the old labeling process 480 00:29:56,054 --> 00:29:58,054 used by your father and grandfather, 481 00:29:58,056 --> 00:30:00,757 I'll make your whiskey the official royal liquor 482 00:30:00,759 --> 00:30:02,809 at the next three palace events. 483 00:30:02,809 --> 00:30:05,876 Good for the town, good for you: win-win. 484 00:30:06,813 --> 00:30:10,197 Or here's my counter-offer. 485 00:30:10,750 --> 00:30:16,820 You take this, turn around, leave my distillery, leave this village, 486 00:30:17,223 --> 00:30:21,025 get on your posh private plane and ride comfortably back to the palace, 487 00:30:21,027 --> 00:30:23,361 where you sip a long dram of fine whiskey 488 00:30:23,363 --> 00:30:25,496 from the guy who was bold enough 489 00:30:25,496 --> 00:30:29,698 to finally talk to Her Majesty like the spoiled brat she is. 490 00:30:29,700 --> 00:30:32,801 You see, I can no longer afford the old process 491 00:30:33,003 --> 00:30:35,403 because I have to pay so damn much in taxes 492 00:30:35,405 --> 00:30:40,308 in order that the pretty Queen can buy all her fancy undergarments. 493 00:30:40,711 --> 00:30:44,029 So, no, I don't believe I'll be taking any orders 494 00:30:44,031 --> 00:30:49,251 from some vapid, archaic figurehead with no real power. 495 00:31:03,517 --> 00:31:06,268 I seriously have no idea what's going on right now. 496 00:31:06,270 --> 00:31:08,119 I'm so confused. 497 00:31:17,915 --> 00:31:22,634 It's "Nerve." A pop-up silent dance party. 498 00:31:22,636 --> 00:31:24,920 Shall we? 499 00:31:36,867 --> 00:31:39,334 You can look inside yourself and think, 500 00:31:39,334 --> 00:31:42,485 "Okay, I've had those problems but who actually am I? 501 00:31:42,487 --> 00:31:45,004 You know, I can overcome this." 502 00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:50,576 OK, everyone. Time to pair off into dyads for one-on-one discussions. 503 00:31:52,597 --> 00:31:54,647 I'll take the Princess. 504 00:31:54,647 --> 00:31:56,813 No, Imogen, the Princess isn't here for that. 505 00:31:56,815 --> 00:31:58,649 She's just observing. 506 00:31:58,651 --> 00:32:01,585 No, that's fine. 507 00:32:01,954 --> 00:32:04,037 I'd be happy to. 508 00:32:10,813 --> 00:32:12,930 I appreciate what you said in the pub. 509 00:32:12,933 --> 00:32:15,783 What if I change one person's life? 510 00:32:16,139 --> 00:32:18,223 It'd be a start. 511 00:32:21,061 --> 00:32:22,978 Marcus, will you give me a hand? 512 00:32:22,978 --> 00:32:25,061 Thank you very much. 513 00:32:26,781 --> 00:32:29,949 A beautiful pair of hand-made boots from Hale. 514 00:32:51,006 --> 00:32:53,489 Nick, this has been amazing. But... 515 00:32:53,489 --> 00:32:55,406 But my world wasn't enough. 516 00:32:55,408 --> 00:32:57,374 No, it's not that. 517 00:32:57,376 --> 00:33:00,160 I don't know. I don't want to take things too fast. 518 00:33:00,162 --> 00:33:02,246 No explanation necessary, Phi. 519 00:33:02,248 --> 00:33:03,714 You're clearly still into him. 520 00:33:03,716 --> 00:33:06,834 So a deal's a deal. 521 00:33:06,836 --> 00:33:09,720 This is where I back away until you tell me you're ready. 522 00:33:36,665 --> 00:33:41,134 Well, you sure put a whole new spin on "Your Highness." 523 00:33:41,134 --> 00:33:43,350 You holding? Share the wealth. 524 00:33:43,352 --> 00:33:45,102 Don't my taxes pay for it? 525 00:33:45,104 --> 00:33:47,938 Taxes from what job? 526 00:33:47,940 --> 00:33:50,241 - Sorry. - Ouch. 527 00:33:50,243 --> 00:33:52,843 Feisty Princess. 528 00:33:52,843 --> 00:33:55,310 Come on, hook a girl up. 529 00:33:55,310 --> 00:33:57,393 I can't help you, okay? 530 00:33:58,012 --> 00:33:59,562 It's probably best. 531 00:33:59,564 --> 00:34:01,764 It's the third time the government put me in here. 532 00:34:01,766 --> 00:34:04,817 Think I might try the program this time, out of boredom. 533 00:34:04,819 --> 00:34:06,786 Just for something different. 534 00:34:06,788 --> 00:34:08,488 How did you end up here? 535 00:34:08,490 --> 00:34:10,890 My story is the same as most bitches in here: 536 00:34:10,892 --> 00:34:14,677 relationships with blokes just bad enough to keep you coming back, 537 00:34:14,679 --> 00:34:18,464 too many brushes with the police while doing anything to keep the buzz going, 538 00:34:18,466 --> 00:34:19,932 and so on. 539 00:34:19,934 --> 00:34:23,236 I'm tired of hearing it, and really tired of telling it. 540 00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:26,405 Oh, well, you don't... You don't have to. 541 00:34:26,407 --> 00:34:29,175 No, hey, it's for a princess this time. 542 00:34:29,911 --> 00:34:32,211 How often can you say that? 543 00:34:32,714 --> 00:34:37,266 It's just they have you tell the same bloody story every day, 544 00:34:37,268 --> 00:34:39,886 thinking it'll jar something loose 545 00:34:39,888 --> 00:34:43,806 that'll suddenly make you stop craving what you crave. 546 00:34:43,808 --> 00:34:48,744 But I guess when you leave your kid outside in the car on a freezing cold night 547 00:34:48,746 --> 00:34:51,364 because you're inside getting high off your ass, 548 00:34:51,366 --> 00:34:53,766 maybe you actually do need some help. 549 00:34:54,636 --> 00:34:56,719 You left your kid in a car? 550 00:34:57,839 --> 00:35:00,139 No. 551 00:35:00,675 --> 00:35:02,675 I was the kid. 552 00:35:04,646 --> 00:35:06,729 So a shitty mom is my excuse. 553 00:35:09,033 --> 00:35:11,117 What's yours? 554 00:35:13,087 --> 00:35:16,872 Um, I just like getting high. 555 00:35:19,627 --> 00:35:21,727 Yeah, I get that, too. 556 00:35:31,406 --> 00:35:35,841 How your mother treated, that's not your fault. 557 00:35:37,462 --> 00:35:42,381 Maybe once you make the choice to let that go, it'll get easier. 558 00:35:43,551 --> 00:35:45,568 Yeah. 559 00:35:47,355 --> 00:35:49,438 You, too. 560 00:36:08,443 --> 00:36:10,526 Jasper. 561 00:36:11,195 --> 00:36:14,030 Come in here and take advantage of me. 562 00:36:36,554 --> 00:36:38,304 Is this what you want? 563 00:36:43,311 --> 00:36:45,611 Stand up. 564 00:36:57,075 --> 00:36:59,158 Take off your dress. 565 00:37:03,414 --> 00:37:05,498 Slower. 566 00:37:09,587 --> 00:37:11,921 What changed your mind? 567 00:37:12,924 --> 00:37:14,924 We all have choices to make. 568 00:38:10,398 --> 00:38:12,481 She has a cute boyfriend. 569 00:38:15,987 --> 00:38:17,570 I follow her, too. 570 00:38:17,789 --> 00:38:19,905 Keep your enemies close and all that. 571 00:38:21,793 --> 00:38:24,994 It's fine, by the way. I couldn't be less concerned. 572 00:38:26,164 --> 00:38:28,480 You'll go off. 573 00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:30,396 You'll do what you need to. 574 00:38:30,396 --> 00:38:33,064 And then you'll come back to me. 575 00:38:33,066 --> 00:38:35,399 It's what we do. 576 00:38:35,401 --> 00:38:38,286 But it's always going to be you and me, Liam. 577 00:38:41,124 --> 00:38:43,240 We're bigger than break-ups, you and I. 578 00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:46,877 Bigger than flings. 579 00:38:46,879 --> 00:38:48,913 Bigger than love. 580 00:38:51,250 --> 00:38:53,084 So you go ahead, 581 00:38:53,086 --> 00:38:56,253 go sort out whatever's in that mind of yours right now. 582 00:38:58,341 --> 00:39:00,141 Come back with your head on straight 583 00:39:00,143 --> 00:39:04,095 because before too long, there'll be a crown on it. 584 00:39:07,817 --> 00:39:09,934 And I'll be right beside you. 585 00:39:19,996 --> 00:39:21,529 'It took only 90 minutes 586 00:39:21,748 --> 00:39:23,247 for the whole distillery 587 00:39:23,249 --> 00:39:24,865 to burn to the ground. 588 00:39:24,867 --> 00:39:27,785 The cause has been ruled an electrical fire 589 00:39:27,787 --> 00:39:30,287 from recently-installed label processing equipment.' 590 00:39:30,289 --> 00:39:33,257 Seem interested, or be interested? 591 00:39:33,259 --> 00:39:35,126 You helped those people. 592 00:39:35,128 --> 00:39:37,128 I helped the cows. 593 00:39:37,130 --> 00:39:39,046 My father had cows. 594 00:39:39,048 --> 00:39:42,099 Whiskey... It suddenly seems quite rare. 595 00:39:42,101 --> 00:39:45,136 'Switching gears to a bit of good news from Hale Village, 596 00:39:45,138 --> 00:39:48,139 as Prince Liam managed a warm reception there. 597 00:39:48,141 --> 00:39:49,940 Several villagers say the Prince 598 00:39:49,942 --> 00:39:52,360 could not have been more impressive in his first...' 599 00:39:52,362 --> 00:39:54,862 He pulled a rabbit out of a hat on this one. 600 00:39:55,865 --> 00:39:59,984 After yesterday, I'd have guessed we'd all be up in flames on this trip. 601 00:40:01,287 --> 00:40:04,321 We need any warmth toward the Monarchy we can get. 602 00:40:04,323 --> 00:40:08,125 Just received numbers from the secret poll we asked for. 603 00:40:08,127 --> 00:40:11,162 If given the vote, 45 per cent of the people 604 00:40:11,164 --> 00:40:13,464 would vote to abolish the Monarchy. 605 00:40:13,466 --> 00:40:16,217 But that jumps another 10 points 606 00:40:16,219 --> 00:40:20,504 if they were to learn that Simon himself suggested the referendum to abolish. 607 00:40:20,723 --> 00:40:22,423 And if Liam was on the throne? 608 00:40:22,425 --> 00:40:25,843 The people are on the fence. They still don't know what to expect. 609 00:40:25,845 --> 00:40:29,397 'That's why we can't put all our eggs in Liam's basket. 610 00:40:29,399 --> 00:40:31,148 He's too much of a wildcard. 611 00:40:31,150 --> 00:40:34,068 We need to explore every possible option.' 612 00:40:34,070 --> 00:40:36,270 'I could not agree more.' 613 00:41:05,935 --> 00:41:08,436 - Hi. - Hey. 614 00:41:08,438 --> 00:41:11,555 I just got back, and I really wanted to see you. 615 00:41:11,774 --> 00:41:16,143 So the big annual charity masquerade ball is coming up in a few days 616 00:41:16,145 --> 00:41:19,063 and I very much want you to be there. 617 00:41:19,065 --> 00:41:21,065 - If you want to come. - Yeah. 618 00:41:21,067 --> 00:41:23,784 - Absolutely. - Great. 619 00:41:23,786 --> 00:41:25,870 - Two tickets. - Two? 620 00:41:25,872 --> 00:41:29,290 Yeah. One for you, and one for your boyfriend. 621 00:41:32,128 --> 00:41:33,961 I'll see you there. 622 00:41:38,084 --> 00:41:39,917 Liam. 623 00:41:42,255 --> 00:41:44,872 Thanks. Can't wait. 624 00:41:57,357 --> 00:42:01,357 Synced and Corrected by Laulau www.addic7ed.com