1
00:00:02,201 --> 00:00:05,436
(answering machine)
Tuesday, 10:03 a.m.
2
00:00:05,438 --> 00:00:07,038
(man
Yeah, Jamie, hi.
3
00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:10,875
Uh, it turns out I'm not really
gonna be around Thursday night,
4
00:00:10,877 --> 00:00:12,944
so, uh...
beep!
5
00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:17,048
(answering machine)
Sunday, 12:29 a.m.
6
00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:18,850
(man
Jamie, you were really great,
7
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,652
but, uh, I met someone else.
8
00:00:20,654 --> 00:00:21,787
Beep!
9
00:00:21,789 --> 00:00:23,588
(man
I, uh... I wanted to, um...
10
00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:26,725
I got to work tonight,
but, uh, so maybe...
11
00:00:26,727 --> 00:00:30,829
I'm thinking sometime next week
or, uh, week after that or...
12
00:00:30,831 --> 00:00:32,096
I'll give you a ring.
13
00:00:32,098 --> 00:00:34,098
Beep!
14
00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:37,869
(man
Listen, I... I hate to leave this
on an answering machine.
15
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,670
I mean...
beep!
16
00:00:39,672 --> 00:00:41,706
(man
I still kind of have
a girlfriend,
17
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,942
but if you're cool with that...
beep!
18
00:00:43,944 --> 00:00:46,344
(man
I'm not ready.
Beep!
19
00:00:46,346 --> 00:00:49,714
(man
I don't know how to say this,
so I'm just gonna say it.
20
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,215
Beep!
21
00:00:51,217 --> 00:00:53,584
(man
I don't really believe
in monogamy.
22
00:00:53,586 --> 00:00:55,519
Beep!
23
00:01:02,294 --> 00:01:05,497
(answering machine)
Monday, 10:32 a.m.
24
00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:07,198
(man
Something's kind of come up,
25
00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:10,434
so, um, I'll call you
on Thursday.
26
00:01:10,436 --> 00:01:14,272
(answering machine)
Thursday, 4:53 p.m.
27
00:01:14,274 --> 00:01:16,374
No messages.
28
00:01:20,112 --> 00:01:21,112
Beep!
29
00:01:21,114 --> 00:01:23,982
Tuesday, 10:03 a.m.
30
00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:25,850
(woman)
Hello, this is Marian Simms,
31
00:01:25,852 --> 00:01:28,854
and I'm calling about
your Capital Three credit card.
32
00:01:28,856 --> 00:01:30,856
We have...
beep!
33
00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:31,990
Beep!
34
00:01:31,992 --> 00:01:33,557
(answering machine)
No messages.
35
00:01:33,559 --> 00:01:35,426
Beep!
No messages.
36
00:01:35,428 --> 00:01:37,162
Beep!
37
00:01:37,164 --> 00:01:38,363
Beep!
38
00:01:38,365 --> 00:01:40,464
(man
Yeah, uh...
beep!
39
00:01:40,466 --> 00:01:43,034
My sister's boyfriend's
brother's got his...
40
00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:44,302
beep!
41
00:01:44,304 --> 00:01:46,270
I'll call you?
Beep!
42
00:01:49,041 --> 00:01:50,474
Beep!
43
00:01:50,476 --> 00:01:52,476
I think it's time for us
to see other people.
44
00:01:52,478 --> 00:01:53,545
Beep!
45
00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:54,979
(man
I need some time alone.
46
00:01:54,981 --> 00:01:56,247
Beep!
47
00:01:56,249 --> 00:01:57,782
(man
It's the timing, really.
48
00:02:03,856 --> 00:02:05,389
Beep!
49
00:02:05,391 --> 00:02:07,625
(man
Yeah, um, and if you want,
you can just...
50
00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:09,060
you can keep the TV.
51
00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:11,930
[Applause on TV]
52
00:02:11,932 --> 00:02:15,666
(man)
We've been getting a lot
of mail wanting to know more
53
00:02:15,668 --> 00:02:20,772
about my incredible
sexual adventures.
54
00:02:22,875 --> 00:02:25,409
So tonight,
I'd like to invite you
55
00:02:25,411 --> 00:02:27,511
to come to my boudoir,
56
00:02:27,513 --> 00:02:29,681
as we say in the French-speaking
part of Ireland.
57
00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:32,617
[Phone ringing]
58
00:02:35,955 --> 00:02:36,955
Hello.
59
00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:39,891
Jamie, I can't go
tomorrow night.
60
00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:42,761
Laura, you promised.
61
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:43,995
I know,
62
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,330
but Paul and I have to finish
the hospital blueprints
63
00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:47,531
by the end of the week.
64
00:02:47,533 --> 00:02:48,900
We just worked till midnight.
65
00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:50,368
My neck is killing me.
66
00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:52,703
I think my mid-cervicals
just rotated.
67
00:02:52,705 --> 00:02:55,339
I thought they rotated
yesterday.
68
00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:56,741
Well, they rotated yesterday,
69
00:02:56,743 --> 00:02:58,610
and then they rotated back
this morning,
70
00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:00,946
and then they re-rotated
this afternoon.
71
00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:02,781
Come on, Laura,
you have to come with me.
72
00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:05,383
If I go alone, I'm gonna look
like some kind of poetry groupie
73
00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:06,585
trying to pick him up.
74
00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:09,087
You know I ruined
his romantic poetry class?
75
00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:12,523
I used to bring up
Lord Byron's pubic hair.
76
00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:13,758
What?
77
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:16,962
Lord Byron used to send
pubic hair to his lovers.
78
00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:18,262
You're smoking, aren't you?
79
00:03:18,264 --> 00:03:19,931
I can tell by the way
you're talking.
80
00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:22,033
I am not. It's not lit.
81
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,902
It's just a pacifier.
82
00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:25,069
[Softly]
Just a minute.
83
00:03:25,071 --> 00:03:26,805
Jamie, I have to go to bed.
84
00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:29,107
Paul and I are, um,
meeting Daddy for...
85
00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:30,609
for breakfast
tomorrow morning.
86
00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:31,609
You want to come?
87
00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:33,111
No, I just saw Dad.
88
00:03:33,113 --> 00:03:35,446
I'm still recovering.
89
00:03:35,448 --> 00:03:37,982
So are you gonna come with me
to the bookstore tomorrow
90
00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:39,617
at 6:45?
91
00:03:39,619 --> 00:03:41,519
He'd better not be
another one of those...
92
00:03:41,521 --> 00:03:43,587
He's not a jerk. I promise.
93
00:03:45,457 --> 00:03:47,792
(woman)
Hi, everybody.
May I have your attention?
94
00:03:47,794 --> 00:03:49,427
Hi, I'm Tanya Wright.
95
00:03:49,429 --> 00:03:51,762
Tonight we have
John Kalicharan with us.
96
00:03:51,764 --> 00:03:55,599
Doubt Me Not is John's
eighth book of poetry.
97
00:03:55,601 --> 00:03:58,269
Eight books.
98
00:03:58,271 --> 00:04:02,573
[Applause]
99
00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:03,942
(woman)
He's brilliant.
100
00:04:03,944 --> 00:04:05,844
He's very attractive.
101
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:08,212
Well, first of all, I'd like
to thank you all for coming.
102
00:04:08,214 --> 00:04:09,347
[Velcro tearing]
103
00:04:09,349 --> 00:04:11,783
I'm very grateful.
Thank you.
104
00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:15,619
"Her left eye
is only a golden blur,
105
00:04:15,621 --> 00:04:17,288
"her ear a vast
musical instrument
106
00:04:17,290 --> 00:04:19,958
"of flesh.
107
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:23,427
"The moon
spills off my shoulder,
108
00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:25,563
slides into her face."
109
00:04:27,699 --> 00:04:31,936
Thank you so much for coming.
Enjoy the book.
110
00:04:34,039 --> 00:04:35,940
What should I say?
111
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:39,110
Just be your adorable self.
112
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:43,882
[People chatting]
113
00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:48,953
Do you remember me?
114
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,955
Jamie Harris.
115
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:56,327
The romantic poetry seminar
at Bard.
116
00:04:56,329 --> 00:04:58,729
You were very...
117
00:04:58,731 --> 00:05:03,134
I think you challenged
everything I said.
118
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:05,403
Well, it was nice
seeing you again.
119
00:05:05,405 --> 00:05:08,672
I don't hold it
against you.
120
00:05:08,674 --> 00:05:12,376
Why not?
121
00:05:12,378 --> 00:05:13,978
When are you going back
to New York?
122
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,513
I'm not.
123
00:05:15,515 --> 00:05:19,417
I moved here
a couple of months ago.
124
00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:22,620
By yourself or...
125
00:05:22,622 --> 00:05:24,755
I lived with a woman
for eight years,
126
00:05:24,757 --> 00:05:26,690
but it ended.
127
00:05:30,029 --> 00:05:33,164
Are you with someone or...
128
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:37,235
Oh, uh, I'm in a really
destructive relationship...
129
00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:39,403
with myself.
130
00:05:39,405 --> 00:05:41,472
Jamie, do not
sleep with him tonight.
131
00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:43,274
No, I won't.
132
00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:44,542
You don't want
to blow this.
133
00:05:44,544 --> 00:05:46,110
He is very promising,
134
00:05:46,112 --> 00:05:47,811
more than anybody
that you've ever...
135
00:05:47,813 --> 00:05:49,313
Okay, Laura,
I will not fuck him.
136
00:05:49,315 --> 00:05:50,882
Can I kiss him?
137
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:51,882
No.
138
00:05:55,420 --> 00:05:56,520
Come in.
139
00:06:00,525 --> 00:06:02,560
(John)
Nice big hammock.
140
00:06:02,562 --> 00:06:05,396
Oh, yeah, it's a tanning bed.
141
00:06:05,398 --> 00:06:08,432
It's guaranteed to give you
skin cancer within five years.
142
00:06:08,434 --> 00:06:11,135
I named it,
so they gave me one.
143
00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:12,136
You named it?
144
00:06:12,138 --> 00:06:13,137
Mm-hmm.
145
00:06:13,139 --> 00:06:15,006
I name products.
That's what I do.
146
00:06:16,141 --> 00:06:17,141
Do you want a drink?
147
00:06:17,143 --> 00:06:20,344
Yeah. Have you got any wine?
148
00:06:20,346 --> 00:06:23,447
Uh, I don't think so.
149
00:06:23,449 --> 00:06:27,118
I got some scotch.
150
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:29,553
Rusty water in tuna brine.
151
00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:31,322
(John)
I saw a liquor store
152
00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:34,725
on Wilshire.
153
00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:36,227
I'll be right back.
154
00:06:56,415 --> 00:06:58,782
No, no. I'm not doing it.
I'm not doing it.
155
00:06:58,784 --> 00:06:59,717
I am not.
156
00:07:05,324 --> 00:07:07,091
No.
157
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,459
And I brought you a gift.
158
00:07:08,461 --> 00:07:09,727
Oh, it's beautiful.
159
00:07:09,729 --> 00:07:13,864
I think it sort of matches
what you're wearing.
160
00:07:13,866 --> 00:07:16,034
Sort of. It...
161
00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:17,034
[laughs]
162
00:07:17,036 --> 00:07:18,869
[Chuckles]
163
00:07:18,871 --> 00:07:21,472
Thank you.
164
00:07:24,143 --> 00:07:26,244
I'll be right back.
165
00:07:29,648 --> 00:07:31,382
Have you got an opener?
166
00:08:15,461 --> 00:08:19,898
I'm not having sex.
167
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:23,501
I'm sorry.
L-I thought...
168
00:08:26,405 --> 00:08:31,041
I mean, I shouldn't
have assumed that...
169
00:08:34,879 --> 00:08:39,049
I feel like an idiot.
170
00:08:41,086 --> 00:08:43,187
I'm really very sorry.
171
00:08:51,830 --> 00:08:52,830
Wait!
172
00:09:13,552 --> 00:09:15,920
You're amazing.
173
00:09:15,922 --> 00:09:17,888
You too.
174
00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:22,426
I can't... I can't believe this.
175
00:09:22,428 --> 00:09:28,932
You can't believe what?
176
00:09:28,934 --> 00:09:34,172
I'll tell you, um,
when I know you better.
177
00:09:37,442 --> 00:09:40,378
I will know you better.
178
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:43,982
Yes.
179
00:09:43,984 --> 00:09:46,517
[Lawn mower roaring]
180
00:09:53,125 --> 00:09:55,059
John?
181
00:09:56,928 --> 00:09:58,997
Fuck!
182
00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:00,498
Jamie, why do you always
do this?
183
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:02,233
It is so self-destructive.
184
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:03,601
Well, he was leaving,
185
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,969
and I thought I was never
gonna see him again.
186
00:10:05,971 --> 00:10:08,872
I just thought sex
was my last chance.
187
00:10:08,874 --> 00:10:12,776
Well, either you're not
a great fuck...
188
00:10:12,778 --> 00:10:16,247
which I think is unlikely,
given all your practice...
189
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:21,452
or being a great fuck
doesn't make any difference.
190
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:22,753
Hey.
191
00:10:22,755 --> 00:10:25,222
Either way,
you're screwed.
192
00:10:27,091 --> 00:10:30,161
Um, James, I got to go.
193
00:11:05,129 --> 00:11:06,964
Good morning.
194
00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:08,666
[Laughs]
195
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,268
All right, so how many
196
00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:11,335
did you have yesterday?
197
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:13,203
I didn't have any all day.
198
00:11:13,205 --> 00:11:14,738
Uh-huh.
199
00:11:14,740 --> 00:11:16,574
And then?
200
00:11:16,576 --> 00:11:18,041
And then I had, like,
10 or 15.
201
00:11:18,043 --> 00:11:19,042
Oh, no!
202
00:11:19,044 --> 00:11:20,244
But less than a pack.
203
00:11:20,246 --> 00:11:22,413
Martin, the circumstances
were extenuating.
204
00:11:22,415 --> 00:11:24,515
Yeah, you smell like sex.
205
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,217
Do I smell
like incredible sex?
206
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:27,351
[Sniffs]
207
00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:29,720
Well, either that
or a lot of average sex.
208
00:11:29,722 --> 00:11:31,154
Rowr-rowr!
209
00:11:31,156 --> 00:11:33,056
[Laughs]
210
00:11:33,058 --> 00:11:35,559
[Sighs]
211
00:11:35,561 --> 00:11:39,162
Hmm.
212
00:11:39,164 --> 00:11:42,466
All right, who is he?
213
00:11:42,468 --> 00:11:46,003
Does he have a nice soul?
214
00:11:46,005 --> 00:11:48,839
He was my teacher.
215
00:11:48,841 --> 00:11:52,109
And his soul looks good.
216
00:11:52,111 --> 00:11:54,312
An older man.
217
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:56,581
Well, this could be positive.
218
00:12:05,157 --> 00:12:07,091
[Knock at door]
219
00:12:18,770 --> 00:12:20,137
Sorry, sorry!
220
00:12:20,139 --> 00:12:22,506
My fly is stuck.
221
00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:25,543
I have an acupuncture
appointment with Martin Mars.
222
00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:29,313
I'm the headache.
223
00:12:29,315 --> 00:12:32,650
I swear, I'm no more perverted
than the next bloke.
224
00:12:34,853 --> 00:12:37,488
I'll pull my shirt out.
225
00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:40,524
Lucky for you, it's...
it's extra large.
226
00:12:43,695 --> 00:12:46,263
Not that that's so small.
227
00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:49,066
Well, medium, maybe.
228
00:12:53,505 --> 00:12:57,441
You look like me mum's
sewing cushion.
229
00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:58,809
What are you in for?
230
00:12:58,811 --> 00:13:00,177
Smoking.
231
00:13:00,179 --> 00:13:01,679
I'm an addict.
232
00:13:04,983 --> 00:13:06,617
You're Mick McCabe.
233
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,251
That would be me, yeah.
234
00:13:08,253 --> 00:13:09,620
Comedy Central at midnight,
235
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,956
hoping you'll laugh once
before you...
236
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,457
[together]
Conk out.
237
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,493
Yeah, I watch you
after The Simpsons.
238
00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:16,694
I love The Simpsons.
239
00:13:16,696 --> 00:13:17,861
Simpsons is brilliant.
240
00:13:17,863 --> 00:13:18,862
Me, I'm just...
241
00:13:18,864 --> 00:13:19,863
You're funny too.
242
00:13:19,865 --> 00:13:21,665
Silly Irish loudmouth.
243
00:13:26,171 --> 00:13:27,705
Do they hurt?
244
00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:30,741
Oh, they're like rabies shots,
only worse.
245
00:13:32,844 --> 00:13:34,512
[Laughs]
246
00:13:57,836 --> 00:14:00,904
(Grant-Lee Phillips)
� Heavenly, heavenly. �
247
00:14:00,906 --> 00:14:06,043
� What other words
could I use to describe... �
248
00:14:10,348 --> 00:14:12,149
There used to be
another one of those,
249
00:14:12,151 --> 00:14:15,052
but my ex, Martha, took it.
250
00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:18,388
(Grant-Lee Phillips)
� As it covers my eyes? �
251
00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:22,793
Well, you know,
I had a crush on you
252
00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:25,263
which, of course,
I couldn't act on.
253
00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:29,733
Is that why
you totally ignored me?
254
00:14:29,735 --> 00:14:31,302
Yeah.
255
00:14:33,305 --> 00:14:36,139
(Grant-Lee Phillips)
� Lovingly, lovingly, �
256
00:14:36,141 --> 00:14:42,412
� every caress
that you ever gave. �
257
00:14:45,250 --> 00:14:47,451
(Jamie)
When I was little,
my mom used to read me
258
00:14:47,453 --> 00:14:50,220
this book
called Goodnight Moon.
259
00:14:50,222 --> 00:14:52,857
Every night, we'd say,
260
00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:55,926
"Night-night, lune.
See you soon."
261
00:14:55,928 --> 00:14:57,828
That's lovely.
262
00:14:57,830 --> 00:15:02,700
(Grant-Lee Phillips)
� Brushing my fears away, �
263
00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:08,606
� knowing just what to say. �
264
00:15:08,608 --> 00:15:15,245
� Heavenly, heavenly,
heavenly, heavenly. � �
265
00:15:41,139 --> 00:15:42,139
[laughter]
266
00:15:42,141 --> 00:15:44,909
I name anything...
colored tampons,
267
00:15:44,911 --> 00:15:47,445
eyedrops that correct
your vision for 13 minutes.
268
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:48,979
You name it, I name it.
269
00:15:48,981 --> 00:15:50,480
What a brilliant job.
270
00:15:50,482 --> 00:15:51,749
Not really.
271
00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:53,717
Sometimes I get
a brilliant idea;
272
00:15:53,719 --> 00:15:55,285
they never use it.
273
00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:57,054
We should have you on the show.
274
00:15:57,056 --> 00:15:58,822
You're kidding.
275
00:15:58,824 --> 00:16:01,692
No, I'm very serious.
276
00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:03,293
Yeah.
277
00:16:04,729 --> 00:16:07,565
You'll be getting a call
from my producer tomorrow.
278
00:16:09,801 --> 00:16:12,302
So how did you get into
this line of business?
279
00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:13,571
Well, I've been a vegan
280
00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:17,074
since my childhood dog,
Butch, died.
281
00:16:17,076 --> 00:16:19,143
I couldn't reconcile
my love of animals
282
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:22,413
with my sadomasochistic
lifestyle.
283
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:23,313
[Laughter]
284
00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:27,084
SandM attire is 99% leather.
285
00:16:27,086 --> 00:16:30,187
Though I now believe
that my new line
286
00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:32,890
of nonanimal
all-natural products
287
00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:37,360
will finally bring sadomasochism
to the holistic market.
288
00:16:37,362 --> 00:16:40,964
[Laughter]
289
00:16:40,966 --> 00:16:42,332
Wonderful.
290
00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:45,636
That's gonna be me
in 48 hours.
291
00:16:46,938 --> 00:16:50,908
What if I can't think
of anything funny to say?
292
00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:54,878
You're much more amusing
than he is.
293
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:56,747
(man)
I think it went well.
294
00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:58,348
Much more.
295
00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:00,283
(Mick)
Good for you, Tom.
296
00:17:02,420 --> 00:17:05,288
I guess I better get going.
297
00:17:05,290 --> 00:17:06,724
(Jamie)
Okay.
298
00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:08,592
(John)
It was really lovely
to meet you.
299
00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:11,361
It's a shame your husband
couldn't come, though.
300
00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:13,363
Yeah, well, he, uh,
doesn't socialize much.
301
00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:15,232
You know,
he works all the time,
302
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:17,267
as all architects do.
303
00:17:17,269 --> 00:17:19,302
Does that mean
that you work all the time?
304
00:17:21,706 --> 00:17:23,841
Yeah, pretty much.
305
00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:27,310
With that, we leave you.
306
00:17:27,312 --> 00:17:29,013
We'll be back
in two minutes.
307
00:17:29,015 --> 00:17:30,547
Don't go away.
308
00:18:07,752 --> 00:18:10,187
Oh, man.
309
00:18:17,028 --> 00:18:18,896
Can we please have sex
310
00:18:18,898 --> 00:18:21,866
before I embarrass myself
on national television
311
00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:24,567
and have to move
to a TV-free island?
312
00:18:25,637 --> 00:18:28,839
Jamie, we...
313
00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:31,942
Jamie.
314
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:33,878
We have to talk.
315
00:18:36,180 --> 00:18:38,448
Oh, what?
316
00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:39,950
Martha just showed up.
317
00:18:45,289 --> 00:18:50,728
She said that she wants
to get back together.
318
00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:53,864
You... why, do you want
to get back together with her?
319
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:54,965
I thought...
320
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:57,467
I wasn't expecting this.
321
00:19:04,809 --> 00:19:10,247
I was hoping for this
before I met you.
322
00:19:10,249 --> 00:19:11,582
Oh.
323
00:19:20,424 --> 00:19:23,127
I thought I was gonna have kids
with Martha.
324
00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:26,229
We'd been together
for so long.
325
00:19:26,231 --> 00:19:27,831
No, that's right.
She's... you've...
326
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:31,702
She's the one,
and I'm just the easy chick.
327
00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:34,504
No, that is not
how I think of you.
328
00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:36,774
That is not
how I think of you, Jamie.
329
00:19:46,184 --> 00:19:48,051
(Laura)
I can't believe John did this.
330
00:19:48,053 --> 00:19:50,754
He seemed so great.
331
00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:53,023
Maybe I'm just gonna cancel.
332
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:55,960
You know, I'm sure they've got
an obscene parrot
333
00:19:55,962 --> 00:19:58,728
they can call
at the last minute.
334
00:19:58,730 --> 00:20:03,701
I can't find my wallet.
335
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:06,870
Jamie, is something wrong?
336
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:10,908
My boyfriend broke up with me.
337
00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:12,109
That's too bad.
338
00:20:12,111 --> 00:20:14,912
But you didn't know him
for very long, did you?
339
00:20:14,914 --> 00:20:16,947
Dad.
340
00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:21,518
Thanks, Dad.
That's a big help.
341
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,987
I just meant that, uh...
342
00:20:23,989 --> 00:20:25,455
I was trying, you know...
343
00:20:25,457 --> 00:20:27,624
It's harder the longer
that you know someone.
344
00:20:27,626 --> 00:20:28,692
That's all.
345
00:20:28,694 --> 00:20:31,261
(woman)
It was in the Xerox machine.
346
00:20:31,263 --> 00:20:33,397
Your 2:00 is on his way up.
347
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:34,732
I have to go.
348
00:20:37,235 --> 00:20:39,403
Don't worry, Jamie.
349
00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:42,005
There's someone out there
who's right for you.
350
00:20:42,007 --> 00:20:43,807
Yeah, well,
what if I never meet him?
351
00:20:43,809 --> 00:20:46,443
What if he's rotting
in a Peruvian prison?
352
00:20:46,445 --> 00:20:49,013
I know.
You feel hurt right now.
353
00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:51,181
Amber, I do not know
how you can be so optimistic.
354
00:20:51,183 --> 00:20:52,616
I mean,
you date a lot of...
355
00:20:52,618 --> 00:20:53,851
Shitheads,
356
00:20:53,853 --> 00:20:57,554
but eventually
I'll find someone incredible.
357
00:21:03,694 --> 00:21:05,295
I'm gonna cancel.
358
00:21:05,297 --> 00:21:07,230
No, you're not.
359
00:21:27,218 --> 00:21:28,485
(woman)
Hi.
360
00:21:28,487 --> 00:21:30,853
I'm Sandy Clarke,
Mick's producer.
361
00:21:30,855 --> 00:21:32,222
We spoke
on the phone.
362
00:21:32,224 --> 00:21:35,225
This is Big Tex.
363
00:21:35,227 --> 00:21:37,394
Oh, you look great,
364
00:21:37,396 --> 00:21:39,162
especially the lips.
365
00:21:39,164 --> 00:21:41,364
[Buzzer]
366
00:21:41,366 --> 00:21:43,901
Uh, just want to let you know
we're gonna end
367
00:21:43,903 --> 00:21:47,470
with the vaginal
odor warning strips.
368
00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:49,006
(Mick)
So tell us, Jamie.
369
00:21:49,008 --> 00:21:51,308
How did you become a namer?
370
00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:55,512
I had a roommate
who sold medical supplies.
371
00:21:55,514 --> 00:21:57,247
She got me my first job.
372
00:21:57,249 --> 00:21:58,315
Which was?
373
00:21:58,317 --> 00:21:59,883
Naming a catheter.
374
00:21:59,885 --> 00:22:00,918
[Laughter]
375
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:02,419
I wanted to call it
Urine Trouble,
376
00:22:02,421 --> 00:22:04,554
but they wanted something
more positive.
377
00:22:04,556 --> 00:22:05,588
It wasn't so negative.
378
00:22:05,590 --> 00:22:08,591
It could have been called
Urine Bloody Deep Shit.
379
00:22:08,593 --> 00:22:09,792
[Laughs]
380
00:22:09,794 --> 00:22:11,929
Actually,
you're not allowed to mention
381
00:22:11,931 --> 00:22:14,197
blood or shit
or piss or come,
382
00:22:14,199 --> 00:22:15,765
but gas is fine.
383
00:22:15,767 --> 00:22:18,335
[Laughter]
384
00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:21,404
Um, so after catheters,
385
00:22:21,406 --> 00:22:24,374
I moved on to antidepressants.
386
00:22:24,376 --> 00:22:26,376
Ooh.
387
00:22:26,378 --> 00:22:28,712
I named Upanol.
388
00:22:28,714 --> 00:22:31,681
I took Upanol.
389
00:22:31,683 --> 00:22:33,050
I nearly went impotent.
390
00:22:33,052 --> 00:22:34,551
[Laughs]
391
00:22:34,553 --> 00:22:35,485
[Clears throat]
392
00:22:45,163 --> 00:22:46,529
So you're gonna name an SUV.
393
00:22:46,531 --> 00:22:48,765
Where do you start...
by taking a meeting
394
00:22:48,767 --> 00:22:50,700
with those buggers
at General Motors?
395
00:22:50,702 --> 00:22:52,635
Oh, I don't get those jobs.
396
00:22:52,637 --> 00:22:54,671
I get really weird jobs,
397
00:22:54,673 --> 00:23:00,277
like electric strollers
with global positioning.
398
00:23:00,279 --> 00:23:02,446
But someday, hopefully,
399
00:23:02,448 --> 00:23:06,416
you'll graduate onto
the off-road vehicles.
400
00:23:06,418 --> 00:23:07,417
Maybe.
401
00:23:07,419 --> 00:23:09,119
But those jobs are boring.
402
00:23:09,121 --> 00:23:10,888
They all want the same thing...
403
00:23:10,890 --> 00:23:13,123
a new Cherokee.
404
00:23:13,125 --> 00:23:15,625
There's only one minority
for car manufacturers:
405
00:23:15,627 --> 00:23:16,960
American Indians.
406
00:23:16,962 --> 00:23:18,095
You're never gonna see
407
00:23:18,097 --> 00:23:20,330
a four-door Korean
with air-conditioning
408
00:23:20,332 --> 00:23:21,331
and power steering
409
00:23:21,333 --> 00:23:23,801
or a fully loaded
Black Jeep Jew.
410
00:23:23,803 --> 00:23:25,468
[Laughs]
411
00:23:25,470 --> 00:23:29,072
[Applause]
412
00:23:37,781 --> 00:23:42,752
You know, someone very important
left me a few years ago,
413
00:23:42,754 --> 00:23:49,826
and it was hell for a while,
414
00:23:49,828 --> 00:23:51,094
but you get over it, and...
415
00:23:51,096 --> 00:23:53,963
and hopefully you do better
next time.
416
00:23:53,965 --> 00:23:57,200
[Sighs]
417
00:23:57,202 --> 00:23:59,869
That's probably not
much consolation right now.
418
00:24:04,642 --> 00:24:06,176
Oh.
419
00:24:06,178 --> 00:24:08,478
It's okay.
420
00:24:29,733 --> 00:24:31,334
I'm sorry.
421
00:24:39,843 --> 00:24:41,411
Are you okay?
422
00:25:03,534 --> 00:25:06,603
Hey, I have your rings!
423
00:25:06,605 --> 00:25:08,471
[Bell ringing]
424
00:25:11,242 --> 00:25:14,177
[Bell ringing]
425
00:25:24,255 --> 00:25:26,523
Hey, wait!
426
00:25:52,650 --> 00:25:54,917
Why...
427
00:25:58,256 --> 00:26:01,258
Why are you doing this?
428
00:26:01,260 --> 00:26:03,260
Please talk to me.
429
00:26:07,398 --> 00:26:11,434
My husband left me.
430
00:26:11,436 --> 00:26:14,171
He said our relationship
had grown stale.
431
00:26:14,173 --> 00:26:17,774
I thought we were happy.
432
00:26:20,345 --> 00:26:24,247
I, uh...
433
00:26:24,249 --> 00:26:25,715
We have a son.
434
00:26:28,019 --> 00:26:31,288
He doesn't talk. He...
435
00:26:31,290 --> 00:26:33,823
We don't talk.
436
00:26:33,825 --> 00:26:36,426
He won't even know I'm gone.
437
00:26:36,428 --> 00:26:39,596
Yes, he will.
438
00:26:41,532 --> 00:26:45,001
You know, my mother died
20 years ago.
439
00:26:50,108 --> 00:26:52,542
I miss her every day.
440
00:26:55,646 --> 00:27:00,082
She killed herself.
441
00:27:10,028 --> 00:27:13,029
I guess that was
a pretty selfish thing to do.
442
00:27:13,031 --> 00:27:15,898
She couldn't help it.
443
00:27:15,900 --> 00:27:19,068
Could you please
come down with me?
444
00:27:25,576 --> 00:27:27,177
That's good.
445
00:27:46,697 --> 00:27:49,199
[Screams]
446
00:27:49,201 --> 00:27:51,834
[Loud thud]
447
00:27:51,836 --> 00:27:54,771
[Siren wailing]
448
00:28:01,479 --> 00:28:04,481
[Monitor beeping]
449
00:28:08,051 --> 00:28:12,955
(Tanya)
I, uh, thought you might, uh,
450
00:28:12,957 --> 00:28:14,591
like to read some books.
451
00:28:14,593 --> 00:28:18,161
Well, that's, uh...
that's a nice thing to do.
452
00:28:21,832 --> 00:28:26,736
So, uh,
how do you know Jamie?
453
00:28:26,738 --> 00:28:30,373
She, uh... she's been coming
to my bookstore
454
00:28:30,375 --> 00:28:33,543
since she was
a little girl.
455
00:28:33,545 --> 00:28:36,979
She was some kid.
456
00:28:36,981 --> 00:28:38,915
Yeah.
457
00:28:48,659 --> 00:28:50,793
I know you probably think
that I'm unspeakable,
458
00:28:50,795 --> 00:28:52,362
but I have to see Jamie.
Please go.
459
00:28:52,364 --> 00:28:53,496
Look, I have to see her.
460
00:28:53,498 --> 00:28:55,132
(Laura)
She doesn't want to see you.
461
00:28:55,134 --> 00:28:56,633
(John)
Sometimes people in comas
462
00:28:56,635 --> 00:28:57,967
can hear what you're saying.
463
00:28:57,969 --> 00:29:00,537
I thought if she could hear me,
if she could hear my voice,
464
00:29:00,539 --> 00:29:02,372
she might want to know
how much...
465
00:29:02,374 --> 00:29:05,275
We'll leave them for her.
Thanks very much.
466
00:29:05,277 --> 00:29:07,210
It might make her happy.
467
00:29:36,307 --> 00:29:40,042
I dreamt I fucked Homer Simpson.
468
00:29:55,959 --> 00:29:59,962
Did John come?
469
00:29:59,964 --> 00:30:02,165
No.
470
00:30:02,167 --> 00:30:04,734
But everybody else
has been great.
471
00:30:06,904 --> 00:30:08,671
Tanya's been here
a couple times,
472
00:30:08,673 --> 00:30:11,974
and Mick.
473
00:30:11,976 --> 00:30:15,578
I think I had a dream
about Mick.
474
00:30:15,580 --> 00:30:17,647
So you did it with Mick
and Homer Simpson
475
00:30:17,649 --> 00:30:19,649
at the same time?
476
00:30:19,651 --> 00:30:22,084
That's a little freaky, Jamie.
477
00:30:23,621 --> 00:30:26,823
I could have died.
478
00:30:30,494 --> 00:30:34,130
"Dear Jamie,
479
00:30:34,132 --> 00:30:37,600
"I just wanted to thank you
for saving my life.
480
00:30:37,602 --> 00:30:39,235
"I'm in a hospital,
481
00:30:39,237 --> 00:30:41,938
"so I have
a lot of time to think.
482
00:30:41,940 --> 00:30:44,908
"I hope
you're recovering quickly.
483
00:30:44,910 --> 00:30:50,246
All my best,
Jackie Smithson."
484
00:30:50,248 --> 00:30:52,949
You look like your mother.
485
00:31:00,157 --> 00:31:01,758
Beep!
486
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:04,394
[John on answering machine]
Jamie, Jamie, pick up.
487
00:31:04,396 --> 00:31:07,229
You don't need to deal
with that right now.
488
00:31:07,231 --> 00:31:09,298
Play.
489
00:31:09,300 --> 00:31:11,433
(John)
I've made a terrible mistake.
490
00:31:11,435 --> 00:31:12,935
We don't care.
491
00:31:12,937 --> 00:31:15,772
Play.
492
00:31:15,774 --> 00:31:19,609
(John)
I saw her tonight. I knew.
493
00:31:19,611 --> 00:31:21,578
I really am over her
completely.
494
00:31:21,580 --> 00:31:23,379
What do you think
of that "completely"?
495
00:31:23,381 --> 00:31:24,914
I think he's protesting
too much.
496
00:31:24,916 --> 00:31:27,617
He doesn't need the "really"
and the "completely."
497
00:31:27,619 --> 00:31:28,885
Play it again.
498
00:31:28,887 --> 00:31:30,253
Beep!
499
00:31:30,255 --> 00:31:32,054
(John)
I really am over her
completely.
500
00:31:32,056 --> 00:31:34,390
He's clearly not stable.
501
00:31:34,392 --> 00:31:38,928
One minute, he's out the door;
the next, he's on his knees.
502
00:31:38,930 --> 00:31:44,366
Sweetie, you've been
through so much lately.
503
00:31:44,368 --> 00:31:46,769
Maybe you shouldn't
call him back for a while.
504
00:31:46,771 --> 00:31:51,540
Just wait
till you feel stronger.
505
00:31:51,542 --> 00:31:53,342
I've only known him
for two weeks,
506
00:31:53,344 --> 00:31:55,077
not counting
the two years in college
507
00:31:55,079 --> 00:31:56,946
I spent fantasizing about him.
508
00:31:56,948 --> 00:31:59,281
What if, all of a sudden,
509
00:31:59,283 --> 00:32:01,050
he really, truly,
completely decides
510
00:32:01,052 --> 00:32:03,886
he wants to be with Martha?
511
00:32:03,888 --> 00:32:07,757
Here, here.
512
00:32:07,759 --> 00:32:09,892
Here.
513
00:32:09,894 --> 00:32:10,893
There you go.
514
00:32:10,895 --> 00:32:11,894
Thank you.
515
00:32:11,896 --> 00:32:13,162
You're welcome.
516
00:32:13,164 --> 00:32:16,398
You're better off alone
right now.
517
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:19,402
You don't want
another flaky boyfriend.
518
00:32:30,247 --> 00:32:32,381
(Jamie)
This is my life.
519
00:32:32,383 --> 00:32:36,686
I'm just a pathetic
jerk magnet.
520
00:32:36,688 --> 00:32:38,788
Wow, you're pretty hard
on yourself.
521
00:32:38,790 --> 00:32:40,757
I don't know.
522
00:32:40,759 --> 00:32:43,192
Just trying
to face the facts.
523
00:32:56,940 --> 00:32:59,375
What do you think
about celibacy?
524
00:32:59,377 --> 00:33:00,577
I think it sucks.
525
00:33:00,579 --> 00:33:03,212
I'm not talking about you.
526
00:33:03,214 --> 00:33:06,616
[Laughs]
527
00:33:09,953 --> 00:33:12,655
I'm thinking celibacy might be
a really good thing for me.
528
00:33:15,659 --> 00:33:21,330
I just don't want to keep doing
what I've been doing.
529
00:33:21,332 --> 00:33:23,465
It hurts too much.
530
00:33:29,973 --> 00:33:35,211
So I thought maybe
if I just spent time with men
531
00:33:35,213 --> 00:33:37,613
without the possibility
of sex.
532
00:33:37,615 --> 00:33:42,118
I think
that's a beautiful idea.
533
00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:45,454
And it doesn't have to be
for the rest of my life.
534
00:33:45,456 --> 00:33:47,824
I'm thinking, like,
three months.
535
00:33:53,130 --> 00:33:55,798
Think I'm still allowed
to masturbate?
536
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:57,700
As long as you're alone.
537
00:33:57,702 --> 00:34:00,870
[Loud knocking]
538
00:34:00,872 --> 00:34:02,739
I'm turning over a new leaf.
539
00:34:02,741 --> 00:34:05,107
You're trying
to get pregnant?
540
00:34:05,109 --> 00:34:08,044
I've taken a vow of celibacy.
541
00:34:08,046 --> 00:34:09,478
But I brought you
a boyfriend.
542
00:34:11,949 --> 00:34:12,949
Stay.
543
00:34:12,951 --> 00:34:14,984
Stay. Steady.
544
00:34:21,158 --> 00:34:25,061
Oh, Mick.
545
00:34:25,063 --> 00:34:28,598
He's amazing.
546
00:34:31,935 --> 00:34:35,371
Oh, I have always
wanted a pet.
547
00:34:39,142 --> 00:34:41,410
What should I name him?
548
00:34:41,412 --> 00:34:45,114
I don't know.
549
00:34:45,116 --> 00:34:46,149
Isaac Newton?
550
00:34:46,151 --> 00:34:47,350
Hello, Isaac.
551
00:34:47,352 --> 00:34:50,620
I think he was celibate.
552
00:34:50,622 --> 00:34:51,653
Wow.
553
00:34:51,655 --> 00:34:52,655
You got him?
554
00:34:52,657 --> 00:34:54,056
How about Ike?
I like Ike.
555
00:34:57,027 --> 00:34:58,795
What do they eat?
556
00:34:58,797 --> 00:35:03,732
My turtle Molly
eats worms and snails
557
00:35:03,734 --> 00:35:05,434
and squirrels and small...
558
00:35:05,436 --> 00:35:06,435
Okay, here.
559
00:35:06,437 --> 00:35:08,404
I'm joking.
560
00:35:08,406 --> 00:35:11,440
(Jamie)
He's been in there
for two days.
561
00:35:11,442 --> 00:35:15,878
I think he has
botfly infestation.
562
00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:18,147
He's probably just constipated.
563
00:35:18,149 --> 00:35:20,817
I'm calling Mick.
564
00:35:20,819 --> 00:35:23,585
(Mick)
Okay, Ike.
565
00:35:23,587 --> 00:35:27,089
It's called an enema.
566
00:35:29,793 --> 00:35:33,662
Yeah, see?
That wasn't so bad.
567
00:35:33,664 --> 00:35:35,832
Handled that
like a real man.
568
00:35:35,834 --> 00:35:36,833
Ooh.
569
00:35:36,835 --> 00:35:38,367
Couldn't have done better
myself.
570
00:35:38,369 --> 00:35:39,368
He's feeling it now.
571
00:35:39,370 --> 00:35:40,369
[Ike farts]
572
00:35:40,371 --> 00:35:45,942
Oh, fucking hell!
573
00:35:45,944 --> 00:35:46,943
It's okay.
574
00:35:55,752 --> 00:35:58,554
It's okay.
575
00:35:58,556 --> 00:36:00,189
Uh, you know what?
576
00:36:00,191 --> 00:36:01,858
Look, it's okay.
577
00:36:07,564 --> 00:36:11,100
Sorry about that.
578
00:36:11,102 --> 00:36:14,503
I thought we were friends.
579
00:36:14,505 --> 00:36:15,872
And we are friends.
580
00:36:21,011 --> 00:36:25,214
I'm just randy,
and it's been a while.
581
00:36:27,885 --> 00:36:31,353
[Blow-dryer whirring]
582
00:36:31,355 --> 00:36:35,625
[Knock at door]
583
00:36:46,369 --> 00:36:47,770
Well,
584
00:36:47,772 --> 00:36:48,837
I better be going.
585
00:36:52,109 --> 00:36:53,676
You better change.
586
00:36:57,514 --> 00:37:00,116
(Mick)
I wear skirts after work.
587
00:37:00,118 --> 00:37:01,884
Gives the privates
a bit of fresh air.
588
00:37:24,507 --> 00:37:25,842
I miss you.
589
00:37:25,844 --> 00:37:28,845
Yeah, I miss you too.
590
00:37:36,353 --> 00:37:38,587
That was staggering,
591
00:37:38,589 --> 00:37:40,322
how you saved
that woman's life.
592
00:37:40,324 --> 00:37:43,525
It was so scary.
593
00:38:08,518 --> 00:38:10,953
"I love you"?
You can't write that.
594
00:38:13,857 --> 00:38:16,625
I want you to go.
595
00:38:16,627 --> 00:38:18,294
Please.
596
00:38:20,564 --> 00:38:25,868
[Saw buzzing]
597
00:38:25,870 --> 00:38:29,771
I think they look a lot better
in the casts.
598
00:38:31,041 --> 00:38:33,242
You know,
when you were in your coma,
599
00:38:33,244 --> 00:38:35,277
you kept screaming, "Homer."
600
00:38:35,279 --> 00:38:37,046
Oh, no.
601
00:38:37,048 --> 00:38:39,315
I studied Greek in college.
I was just wondering...
602
00:38:39,317 --> 00:38:42,251
Um, it was a different Homer.
603
00:38:44,755 --> 00:38:47,156
Well, um,
come back and see me
604
00:38:47,158 --> 00:38:51,393
if you have any tingling
or numbness
605
00:38:51,395 --> 00:38:57,299
or if you want to get a drink
or something sometime.
606
00:39:00,003 --> 00:39:03,305
Uh, I'm celibate.
607
00:39:05,509 --> 00:39:06,508
What's that like?
608
00:39:28,965 --> 00:39:30,966
[Squeaking]
609
00:39:37,474 --> 00:39:40,109
Whoa! No, be careful!
He's handicapped.
610
00:39:40,111 --> 00:39:42,278
This, um,
Ike's lunch?
611
00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:44,981
This is a Ratticus norvegicus.
612
00:39:44,983 --> 00:39:45,981
Huh.
613
00:39:45,983 --> 00:39:49,285
For the kids.
614
00:39:49,287 --> 00:39:53,622
So how'd it go with John?
615
00:39:53,624 --> 00:39:57,793
Not so good.
616
00:39:57,795 --> 00:40:00,562
I saw you at the W.
617
00:40:00,564 --> 00:40:02,865
She your type?
618
00:40:02,867 --> 00:40:05,501
Oh, she was on the show.
619
00:40:05,503 --> 00:40:08,637
But it wasn't a date.
620
00:40:08,639 --> 00:40:11,040
That's good.
621
00:40:11,042 --> 00:40:12,441
Oh, you don't want me
to date?
622
00:40:12,443 --> 00:40:13,442
No, I didn't say that.
623
00:40:13,444 --> 00:40:14,944
I just pictured you
with someone
624
00:40:14,946 --> 00:40:16,479
who would at least
get your jokes.
625
00:40:16,481 --> 00:40:18,080
I married someone
who got my jokes,
626
00:40:18,082 --> 00:40:19,682
and that didn't end up
with a laugh.
627
00:40:19,684 --> 00:40:22,084
You were married?
628
00:40:22,086 --> 00:40:24,853
Oh, the one who left you.
629
00:40:24,855 --> 00:40:26,555
I'm late for Martin,
630
00:40:26,557 --> 00:40:28,590
but I had an idea
I wanted to talk to you about.
631
00:40:28,592 --> 00:40:31,694
Could you stop by
the station tomorrow?
632
00:40:31,696 --> 00:40:35,264
Sure.
633
00:40:35,266 --> 00:40:36,499
You got two arms.
634
00:40:36,501 --> 00:40:38,800
Very nice.
635
00:40:38,802 --> 00:40:40,302
We're doing a home-shopping bit,
636
00:40:40,304 --> 00:40:42,972
and we thought you could name
some of the products.
637
00:40:42,974 --> 00:40:44,273
What do you think?
638
00:40:44,275 --> 00:40:46,442
Uh, yeah, I guess so.
639
00:40:46,444 --> 00:40:47,443
Say yes.
Say yes.
640
00:40:47,445 --> 00:40:48,444
Great!
641
00:40:48,446 --> 00:40:49,778
Okay, yes.
642
00:40:49,780 --> 00:40:50,980
Bye, darling.
643
00:40:50,982 --> 00:40:53,315
Ratman is wanted.
644
00:40:53,317 --> 00:40:55,885
He is such a character.
645
00:40:55,887 --> 00:40:56,885
[Chuckles]
646
00:40:56,887 --> 00:40:59,922
How did you guys hook up?
647
00:40:59,924 --> 00:41:02,358
Oh, in London
about ten years ago.
648
00:41:05,462 --> 00:41:07,029
He was doing a sitcom,
649
00:41:07,031 --> 00:41:09,698
and I was
the producer's assistant.
650
00:41:09,700 --> 00:41:12,201
So you must have known him
for a really long time.
651
00:41:12,203 --> 00:41:14,303
Mm-hmm.
652
00:41:14,305 --> 00:41:15,571
I know him pretty well.
653
00:41:15,573 --> 00:41:19,308
I mean, we were married.
654
00:41:19,310 --> 00:41:20,909
Got ya.
655
00:41:20,911 --> 00:41:22,211
It's true.
656
00:41:22,213 --> 00:41:24,480
Wait, do you got me,
or is it true?
657
00:41:24,482 --> 00:41:27,349
We were together
about seven years,
658
00:41:27,351 --> 00:41:29,618
until I fell in love
with his wife...
659
00:41:29,620 --> 00:41:31,988
his wife on the show.
660
00:41:31,990 --> 00:41:33,021
Yeah.
661
00:41:33,023 --> 00:41:34,390
Whoa.
662
00:41:34,392 --> 00:41:36,758
Yeah, it was a little tough
getting through that one,
663
00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:39,728
but, you know, now Mick and me,
we're good again.
664
00:41:39,730 --> 00:41:41,130
Oh.
665
00:41:44,501 --> 00:41:49,338
So, uh, how's that whole
celibacy thing going?
666
00:41:49,340 --> 00:41:52,641
38 days.
667
00:41:52,643 --> 00:41:54,376
It's okay.
668
00:41:54,378 --> 00:41:55,611
(Tanya)
Hmm.
669
00:41:55,613 --> 00:41:58,680
(Jamie)
Sometimes the nights are hard.
670
00:41:58,682 --> 00:42:01,217
(Tanya)
Well, I've been
without a man
671
00:42:01,219 --> 00:42:02,351
for over two years.
672
00:42:02,353 --> 00:42:03,985
[Chuckles]
673
00:42:05,522 --> 00:42:09,058
And I'm, uh,
tired of it.
674
00:42:16,866 --> 00:42:19,701
Your casts are off.
675
00:42:19,703 --> 00:42:21,937
Yeah, they cut them off.
676
00:42:27,577 --> 00:42:30,446
I don't want to say
the wrong thing again.
677
00:42:30,448 --> 00:42:31,447
And I was hoping...
678
00:42:31,449 --> 00:42:33,249
I don't think
it's a good idea.
679
00:42:33,251 --> 00:42:34,783
Well, your birthday's
coming up.
680
00:42:34,785 --> 00:42:36,285
How do you know
it's my birthday?
681
00:42:36,287 --> 00:42:37,953
Remember?
682
00:42:37,955 --> 00:42:39,155
You showed me your license
683
00:42:39,157 --> 00:42:41,057
where you looked just like
Homer Simpson.
684
00:42:41,059 --> 00:42:42,991
You didn't even know
who Homer Simpson was.
685
00:42:42,993 --> 00:42:47,263
Right, but couldn't I just
take you out to lunch anyway?
686
00:42:47,265 --> 00:42:48,897
No.
687
00:42:53,936 --> 00:42:56,505
Laura's having a birthday party
for me.
688
00:42:56,507 --> 00:42:59,475
Maybe you could come to that.
689
00:42:59,477 --> 00:43:02,110
[People chatting]
690
00:43:02,112 --> 00:43:06,215
[Laughter]
691
00:43:06,217 --> 00:43:08,350
Hey, John,
how are you?
692
00:43:15,925 --> 00:43:17,360
Excuse me.
693
00:43:20,397 --> 00:43:23,032
[Jamie laughing]
694
00:43:29,639 --> 00:43:30,806
(Jamie)
I think he could.
695
00:43:30,808 --> 00:43:32,140
I think he could go
all the way.
696
00:43:37,514 --> 00:43:38,947
Happy birthday.
697
00:43:40,216 --> 00:43:42,384
She's probably been getting
a lot of that today.
698
00:43:42,386 --> 00:43:44,119
Maybe you should try
a better line.
699
00:43:44,121 --> 00:43:45,821
What would you suggest?
700
00:43:45,823 --> 00:43:48,957
Oh, how about,
701
00:43:48,959 --> 00:43:51,427
"Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
702
00:43:51,429 --> 00:43:54,330
My life hasn't been the same
since I met you."
703
00:43:54,332 --> 00:43:56,699
I prefer "Happy birthday."
704
00:43:56,701 --> 00:43:58,199
James,
705
00:43:58,201 --> 00:44:00,836
why don't we go see
how Daddy's doing?
706
00:44:11,814 --> 00:44:13,582
(Mr. Harris)
So you were saying?
707
00:44:13,584 --> 00:44:16,685
(Tanya)
I was saying that your position
on corporate architecture,
708
00:44:16,687 --> 00:44:18,554
if anything,
should be quite different.
709
00:44:18,556 --> 00:44:20,389
I mean, I disagree.
710
00:44:20,391 --> 00:44:23,125
Architecture
is absolutely political.
711
00:44:23,127 --> 00:44:24,125
Right?
712
00:44:24,127 --> 00:44:25,694
What about Albert Speer?
713
00:44:25,696 --> 00:44:30,098
Your friend's been criticizing
my outmoded ideas.
714
00:44:30,100 --> 00:44:31,733
She loves
to criticize.
715
00:44:31,735 --> 00:44:35,003
No, no, no, no...
educate.
716
00:44:35,005 --> 00:44:36,338
Albert Speer.
717
00:44:36,340 --> 00:44:37,339
Oh, Dad.
718
00:44:37,341 --> 00:44:39,074
She played
the Albert Speer card.
719
00:44:39,076 --> 00:44:40,609
I did not.
720
00:44:43,513 --> 00:44:45,714
(Mick)
I thought the unwrapping
would be later,
721
00:44:45,716 --> 00:44:46,848
in private.
722
00:44:46,850 --> 00:44:48,517
Oh, no, no, no,
that's okay.
723
00:44:48,519 --> 00:44:50,786
Everybody knows
that I'm celibate.
724
00:44:50,788 --> 00:44:52,087
[Laughter]
725
00:44:52,089 --> 00:44:53,922
I didn't know.
726
00:44:53,924 --> 00:44:56,525
Well, you usually don't like
to know about my sex life.
727
00:44:56,527 --> 00:44:59,027
Maybe I've changed.
728
00:44:59,029 --> 00:45:02,498
Daddy, you're acting weird.
729
00:45:05,302 --> 00:45:08,236
Oh, oh.
730
00:45:08,238 --> 00:45:09,972
Aw.
731
00:45:11,708 --> 00:45:13,209
Thanks.
732
00:45:13,211 --> 00:45:16,812
That is the book,
the one you had, isn't it?
733
00:45:16,814 --> 00:45:19,080
You can get her Hello Sun
next year.
734
00:45:22,919 --> 00:45:25,754
So are you still
with Mick's sitcom wife?
735
00:45:25,756 --> 00:45:26,755
Oh, God, no.
736
00:45:26,757 --> 00:45:29,258
She left me for a man,
her first cousin.
737
00:45:29,260 --> 00:45:31,393
You know, English people
are so sick.
738
00:45:31,395 --> 00:45:33,262
(Laura)
Jamie, Amber's here.
739
00:45:33,264 --> 00:45:34,630
You came.
740
00:45:34,632 --> 00:45:35,664
Yeah, just for a minute.
741
00:45:35,666 --> 00:45:37,333
Your father
left his wallet
742
00:45:37,335 --> 00:45:39,235
in the office last night,
and he just...
743
00:45:39,237 --> 00:45:41,437
Oh, I am so jealous.
744
00:45:41,439 --> 00:45:43,205
I'm dying to have a baby,
745
00:45:43,207 --> 00:45:45,241
but my girlfriend wants me
to wait a bit.
746
00:45:45,243 --> 00:45:46,809
May I?
747
00:45:46,811 --> 00:45:49,245
I want to have it
in the bath.
748
00:45:49,247 --> 00:45:51,112
I've been trying to get Paul
to have a kid,
749
00:45:51,114 --> 00:45:52,815
but he's not ready.
750
00:45:52,817 --> 00:45:54,650
I should go.
I'm really tired.
751
00:45:54,652 --> 00:45:55,884
Jamie, you look great.
752
00:45:55,886 --> 00:45:58,987
You look like you're having
a great party.
753
00:45:58,989 --> 00:46:01,457
At least have some cake
or something to eat.
754
00:46:01,459 --> 00:46:02,458
Come on.
755
00:46:02,460 --> 00:46:04,059
Okay, but I really
have to go home.
756
00:46:04,061 --> 00:46:05,261
I'm so tired.
757
00:46:05,263 --> 00:46:07,929
How about you, Jamie?
Do you want a little one?
758
00:46:07,931 --> 00:46:11,066
Oh, I don't think
I'd be a very good mother.
759
00:46:11,068 --> 00:46:15,003
But if I ever have a kid,
I think it'll be in a hospital
760
00:46:15,005 --> 00:46:17,105
under heavy sedation.
761
00:46:17,107 --> 00:46:18,474
Can I have some water,
please?
762
00:46:18,476 --> 00:46:20,843
Sure.
763
00:46:20,845 --> 00:46:23,646
Do you want with gas
or without?
764
00:46:23,648 --> 00:46:25,414
Whatever you have.
765
00:46:31,554 --> 00:46:34,155
Ah!
766
00:46:34,157 --> 00:46:36,758
Honey, oh, you came.
767
00:46:36,760 --> 00:46:38,159
Got back early
for a change.
768
00:46:38,161 --> 00:46:39,795
[Amber screams]
769
00:46:39,797 --> 00:46:41,229
Oh, God.
770
00:46:41,231 --> 00:46:42,230
You okay?
771
00:46:42,232 --> 00:46:44,165
Aah!
772
00:46:44,167 --> 00:46:45,233
I'll get the car.
773
00:46:45,235 --> 00:46:46,367
(man)
Is she all right?
774
00:46:46,369 --> 00:46:48,436
(woman)
Call an ambulance.
775
00:46:53,109 --> 00:46:58,146
Are you sure you don't want
to call the father?
776
00:46:58,148 --> 00:47:00,682
I have to tell you.
777
00:47:00,684 --> 00:47:01,983
You've been so generous...
778
00:47:01,985 --> 00:47:03,585
Everything's
gonna be fine.
779
00:47:03,587 --> 00:47:05,020
And so maternal,
a friend,
780
00:47:05,022 --> 00:47:06,388
really.
Move on down.
781
00:47:06,390 --> 00:47:07,956
Even though...
What are you doing?
782
00:47:07,958 --> 00:47:09,358
She needs to get into the car.
783
00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:11,560
Leave her alone.
She needs to get
into the car.
784
00:47:11,562 --> 00:47:13,061
For God's sakes,
come on.
785
00:47:13,063 --> 00:47:14,530
(Amber)
I am so sorry.
Amber.
786
00:47:14,532 --> 00:47:16,598
It was only once.
787
00:47:19,401 --> 00:47:21,570
He promised me
he would let you know.
788
00:47:21,572 --> 00:47:24,139
You fucking dick.
789
00:47:26,008 --> 00:47:28,143
Look, I...
790
00:47:31,448 --> 00:47:33,148
What's this?
791
00:47:39,388 --> 00:47:42,958
Oh, that is so sweet.
792
00:47:59,341 --> 00:48:03,244
Maybe I could get some of that...
that kiwi chicken.
793
00:48:03,246 --> 00:48:06,282
You used to love that.
794
00:48:06,284 --> 00:48:07,716
No!
795
00:48:13,556 --> 00:48:16,758
Where do you girls
get these guys?
796
00:48:16,760 --> 00:48:18,860
I wasn't such a bad example.
797
00:48:18,862 --> 00:48:23,298
I mean,
if your mother hadn't...
798
00:48:23,300 --> 00:48:24,667
It's not her fault.
799
00:48:54,163 --> 00:48:56,532
What's today?
800
00:48:56,534 --> 00:49:00,836
It's Tuesday.
801
00:49:00,838 --> 00:49:04,105
What happened
to Sunday and Monday?
802
00:49:09,746 --> 00:49:15,450
You're reading Mommy's diary?
803
00:49:15,452 --> 00:49:16,518
Yeah.
804
00:49:18,220 --> 00:49:21,456
Hey, Jamie.
805
00:49:21,458 --> 00:49:27,930
My mid-cervicals
haven't rotated in a week.
806
00:49:27,932 --> 00:49:31,633
My therapist thinks they were
protesting against Paul.
807
00:49:33,035 --> 00:49:35,137
Thai.
808
00:49:35,139 --> 00:49:37,238
Yeah, she's naming products
for Mick's show.
809
00:49:37,240 --> 00:49:42,511
They're doing a takeoff
on the Home Shopping Network.
810
00:49:42,513 --> 00:49:44,980
All right,
I'll see you at work.
811
00:49:44,982 --> 00:49:47,382
Okay. I love you too, Daddy.
812
00:49:47,384 --> 00:49:49,317
Bye.
813
00:49:49,319 --> 00:49:51,753
I can't think of anything.
814
00:49:51,755 --> 00:49:54,856
Well, maybe Mick
will let you have the weekend.
815
00:49:54,858 --> 00:49:57,893
Just tell him
that you're not feeling well.
816
00:49:57,895 --> 00:50:00,396
Then I can't see him
on Saturday.
817
00:50:00,398 --> 00:50:03,899
Are you going out with him?
818
00:50:03,901 --> 00:50:06,402
No, it's not a date.
819
00:50:06,404 --> 00:50:07,535
It's just, you know...
820
00:50:07,537 --> 00:50:09,738
it's not...
it's a day thing.
821
00:50:09,740 --> 00:50:11,607
We're going to Tanya's party.
822
00:50:11,609 --> 00:50:14,242
That's my celibacy calendar.
823
00:50:14,244 --> 00:50:15,443
Laura gave it to me.
824
00:50:15,445 --> 00:50:17,679
(Mick)
So on day 90,
825
00:50:17,681 --> 00:50:20,248
you plan to break your vows?
826
00:50:20,250 --> 00:50:21,850
I don't know yet.
827
00:50:24,120 --> 00:50:26,788
I've been in so many
fucked-up relationships.
828
00:50:26,790 --> 00:50:29,357
I think I want to know the guy
829
00:50:29,359 --> 00:50:32,127
before I take my clothes off
next time.
830
00:50:32,129 --> 00:50:35,463
Do you know me?
831
00:50:35,465 --> 00:50:38,734
A little.
832
00:50:42,872 --> 00:50:47,910
But we're just friends.
833
00:50:47,912 --> 00:50:52,547
No, um, I like you.
834
00:50:52,549 --> 00:50:55,918
And you're different.
835
00:50:55,920 --> 00:50:59,788
You mean because I talk funny
and I wear rat suits?
836
00:50:59,790 --> 00:51:01,056
[Laughs]
837
00:51:01,058 --> 00:51:05,861
Yeah, uh, that
and, um...
838
00:51:05,863 --> 00:51:08,363
you're not a jerk.
839
00:51:08,365 --> 00:51:13,334
Does that mean
you couldn't fancy me
840
00:51:13,336 --> 00:51:16,404
because I'm not a jerk?
841
00:51:16,406 --> 00:51:23,545
No, it means I might fancy you
even though you're not a jerk.
842
00:51:26,048 --> 00:51:32,520
Well, then...
843
00:51:32,522 --> 00:51:34,089
What?
844
00:51:34,091 --> 00:51:35,390
Could I kiss you?
845
00:51:35,392 --> 00:51:38,059
Is that allowed?
846
00:51:42,131 --> 00:51:43,632
No.
847
00:51:49,839 --> 00:51:52,774
[People chatting]
848
00:52:11,627 --> 00:52:13,895
Your father really adores you.
849
00:52:13,897 --> 00:52:17,532
He doesn't adore me.
He adores Laura.
850
00:52:17,534 --> 00:52:19,801
No, I saw the way
he looked at you.
851
00:52:19,803 --> 00:52:23,471
I think my mother
adored me.
852
00:52:23,473 --> 00:52:25,306
I know.
853
00:52:25,308 --> 00:52:29,811
I know,
but your father does too.
854
00:52:29,813 --> 00:52:33,648
[People chatting]
855
00:52:53,903 --> 00:52:55,370
(Laura)
Hi, I'm Laura.
856
00:52:57,539 --> 00:52:58,807
Nice to meet you.
857
00:53:02,711 --> 00:53:05,480
No, that's for ice.
858
00:53:05,482 --> 00:53:06,481
Naughty.
859
00:53:06,483 --> 00:53:08,083
You're naughty.
860
00:53:08,085 --> 00:53:09,084
That hurt.
861
00:53:09,086 --> 00:53:11,954
Let's go.
862
00:53:19,495 --> 00:53:21,329
Did you know
he'd be there?
863
00:53:21,331 --> 00:53:23,464
Well, he's a friend
of Tanya's.
864
00:53:23,466 --> 00:53:26,467
So you thought you'd
bring me along just in case.
865
00:53:26,469 --> 00:53:28,369
No, I really wanted you
to come,
866
00:53:28,371 --> 00:53:31,506
and I told you
John and I are just friends.
867
00:53:31,508 --> 00:53:32,608
Then why did you bolt
868
00:53:32,610 --> 00:53:34,409
when you spotted him
with that woman?
869
00:53:37,947 --> 00:53:39,881
I've done
the triangle thing before.
870
00:53:39,883 --> 00:53:41,449
I didn't like it.
871
00:53:45,587 --> 00:53:46,687
Beep!
872
00:53:46,689 --> 00:53:50,391
Laura, who is she?
Call me right away.
873
00:53:50,393 --> 00:53:54,329
(Sandy)
I can't believe it.
874
00:53:54,331 --> 00:54:00,535
I cooked her this incredible
Australian lamb dinner.
875
00:54:00,537 --> 00:54:02,004
You liar.
876
00:54:06,308 --> 00:54:09,778
Okay, I ordered it.
877
00:54:09,780 --> 00:54:12,547
It was still incredible.
878
00:54:12,549 --> 00:54:16,952
She ate three platefuls,
and then she dumped me.
879
00:54:21,490 --> 00:54:27,295
We were gonna
have a baby together.
880
00:54:27,297 --> 00:54:29,798
Don't worry.
881
00:54:29,800 --> 00:54:35,303
You'll find somebody else
tomorrow.
882
00:54:35,305 --> 00:54:36,938
[Sighs]
883
00:54:36,940 --> 00:54:39,140
You know,
Jamie's pretty cute.
884
00:54:39,142 --> 00:54:40,842
I'd take her,
885
00:54:40,844 --> 00:54:44,145
except I don't think
she's homosexually inclined.
886
00:54:50,419 --> 00:54:53,154
She doesn't like me either.
887
00:55:11,107 --> 00:55:14,876
It's weird having a living thing
in me again.
888
00:55:14,878 --> 00:55:18,079
Well, it's weird
889
00:55:18,081 --> 00:55:21,716
putting my living thing
in you again.
890
00:55:21,718 --> 00:55:25,520
[Whining]
891
00:55:37,433 --> 00:55:39,100
[Door slams]
892
00:55:51,013 --> 00:55:55,450
(John)
What are you doing here?
893
00:55:55,452 --> 00:55:59,120
I'm spying on you.
894
00:55:59,122 --> 00:56:00,922
Fuck.
895
00:56:00,924 --> 00:56:01,989
What does it look like?
896
00:56:01,991 --> 00:56:04,826
That's what it looks like.
897
00:56:04,828 --> 00:56:07,562
Where's your boyfriend?
898
00:56:07,564 --> 00:56:09,497
I don't have a boyfriend.
899
00:56:09,499 --> 00:56:11,233
Mick is not my boyfriend.
900
00:56:11,235 --> 00:56:12,667
He's just a friend.
901
00:56:12,669 --> 00:56:14,903
I can't believe that you're
pulling this bullshit
902
00:56:14,905 --> 00:56:17,438
after all that "I'll see you
in the moonlight" bullshit.
903
00:56:17,440 --> 00:56:18,539
You know what?
904
00:56:18,541 --> 00:56:21,876
Just go back to Martha.
905
00:56:21,878 --> 00:56:24,145
If you would just slow down
just for a second,
906
00:56:24,147 --> 00:56:26,013
I'd invite you in
to meet my sister.
907
00:56:27,816 --> 00:56:28,950
Your sister.
908
00:56:28,952 --> 00:56:30,285
Yes, my sister.
909
00:56:30,287 --> 00:56:31,352
I saw you.
910
00:56:31,354 --> 00:56:32,888
You spanked your "sister"
911
00:56:32,890 --> 00:56:34,389
after she slapped you
on the ass.
912
00:56:34,391 --> 00:56:35,490
For Christ's sake,
913
00:56:35,492 --> 00:56:38,359
we've been doing that
since we were kids.
914
00:56:38,361 --> 00:56:40,828
I'm sure it has all sorts
of incestuous connotations,
915
00:56:40,830 --> 00:56:43,231
but I'm not in touch
with them.
916
00:56:43,233 --> 00:56:47,735
I feel like an idiot.
917
00:56:47,737 --> 00:56:51,506
Uh, I'm gonna go now.
918
00:56:51,508 --> 00:56:54,409
She'd really like
to meet you.
919
00:56:54,411 --> 00:56:57,012
No, I'm really gonna go now.
920
00:57:01,417 --> 00:57:03,184
[Applause]
921
00:57:03,186 --> 00:57:05,453
[Buzzer]
922
00:57:25,807 --> 00:57:28,343
Oh!
923
00:57:28,345 --> 00:57:29,344
Good shot.
924
00:57:29,346 --> 00:57:30,478
You're letting me win.
925
00:57:30,480 --> 00:57:31,779
Absolutely not.
926
00:57:31,781 --> 00:57:34,982
What, are you wearing
women's clothing now?
927
00:57:34,984 --> 00:57:39,287
Only hats and bras.
928
00:57:39,289 --> 00:57:41,189
No, it's, uh...
929
00:57:41,191 --> 00:57:43,724
it's a present from my mom.
930
00:57:43,726 --> 00:57:46,761
She hasn't been with anyone
in 20 years,
931
00:57:46,763 --> 00:57:48,263
since my dad.
932
00:57:48,265 --> 00:57:49,597
Were they divorced?
933
00:57:49,599 --> 00:57:51,666
No.
934
00:57:51,668 --> 00:57:54,835
He just got up and left
one day.
935
00:57:54,837 --> 00:57:57,172
What a jerk.
936
00:57:57,174 --> 00:57:58,373
Not really.
937
00:57:58,375 --> 00:58:01,075
He was a good man,
for an Irishman.
938
00:58:01,077 --> 00:58:04,445
Never touched a drink,
939
00:58:04,447 --> 00:58:09,417
never said "fuck,"
940
00:58:09,419 --> 00:58:12,687
good dad.
941
00:58:14,690 --> 00:58:17,325
Would you mind
looking after Molly
942
00:58:17,327 --> 00:58:19,460
for a while
while I'm gone?
943
00:58:19,462 --> 00:58:21,563
You're going away?
944
00:58:21,565 --> 00:58:23,831
To Dublin.
Dublin!
945
00:58:23,833 --> 00:58:26,101
And then I'm taking my mom
to Paris.
946
00:58:26,103 --> 00:58:27,868
She's never been.
947
00:58:27,870 --> 00:58:30,271
That sounds wonderful.
948
00:58:30,273 --> 00:58:32,207
Yeah, I'd love to take her.
949
00:59:03,505 --> 00:59:05,373
Molly's having babies.
950
00:59:05,375 --> 00:59:07,875
I think I'm gonna vomit.
951
00:59:11,680 --> 00:59:13,214
Oh.
952
00:59:13,216 --> 00:59:14,649
Maybe you need a doctor.
953
00:59:14,651 --> 00:59:18,119
Oh, no, it's...
it's morning sickness.
954
00:59:18,121 --> 00:59:20,221
Congratulations.
955
00:59:20,223 --> 00:59:23,959
That's what you wanted,
right?
956
00:59:23,961 --> 00:59:28,296
Well, I had some artificial
insemination fantasies,
957
00:59:28,298 --> 00:59:31,299
but this one
was heterosexual penetration.
958
00:59:31,301 --> 00:59:32,633
Oh.
959
00:59:32,635 --> 00:59:35,170
I thought you were gay now.
960
00:59:35,172 --> 00:59:39,607
I'm bisexual.
I just prefer women.
961
00:59:39,609 --> 00:59:42,010
Wow, what are you gonna do?
962
00:59:42,012 --> 00:59:45,380
Well, I'm gonna have it.
963
00:59:47,550 --> 00:59:49,951
I'm even thinking
of getting married again.
964
00:59:49,953 --> 00:59:51,386
With the father?
965
00:59:51,388 --> 00:59:52,653
Mm-hmm.
966
00:59:52,655 --> 00:59:54,756
Well, Mick's a good husband.
967
00:59:54,758 --> 00:59:56,791
He'd make a great dad.
968
00:59:56,793 --> 01:00:00,895
Mick?
969
01:00:00,897 --> 01:00:03,664
Mick's the father?
970
01:00:03,666 --> 01:00:05,866
Did you know
he was fucking Sandy?
971
01:00:05,868 --> 01:00:08,002
No.
972
01:00:08,004 --> 01:00:11,939
No, of course not.
I would have told you that.
973
01:00:11,941 --> 01:00:14,442
I thought we were friends.
974
01:00:14,444 --> 01:00:18,913
Friends tell each other
things like that.
975
01:00:47,176 --> 01:00:50,311
You think we should tell Jamie?
976
01:00:50,313 --> 01:00:53,415
What would we say?
977
01:00:53,417 --> 01:00:57,752
That we're friends.
978
01:00:57,754 --> 01:01:00,755
Then she might think
that we're more than friends.
979
01:01:00,757 --> 01:01:02,657
But we're not.
980
01:01:02,659 --> 01:01:04,359
I know, but she could think.
981
01:01:04,361 --> 01:01:05,993
You're right.
982
01:01:05,995 --> 01:01:08,529
You're right.
983
01:01:11,400 --> 01:01:14,369
You're smoking now.
984
01:01:14,371 --> 01:01:18,038
[Phone ringing]
985
01:01:18,040 --> 01:01:19,640
(John)
Yeah, this is John.
986
01:01:19,642 --> 01:01:21,809
I'm out,
so please leave a message.
987
01:01:21,811 --> 01:01:22,810
Thank you.
988
01:01:22,812 --> 01:01:23,944
Beep!
989
01:01:23,946 --> 01:01:24,945
Oh, God, I can't.
990
01:01:24,947 --> 01:01:30,050
[Phone rings]
991
01:01:30,052 --> 01:01:31,886
Hello.
992
01:01:31,888 --> 01:01:34,088
I got back early.
What are you up to tonight?
993
01:01:34,090 --> 01:01:40,194
Uh, I... have a lot of work.
994
01:01:40,196 --> 01:01:43,964
Then I'll just stop by tomorrow
995
01:01:43,966 --> 01:01:46,867
and pick up Molly.
996
01:01:52,341 --> 01:01:54,275
I brought you a present.
997
01:01:57,346 --> 01:02:02,016
My old Irish sweater
from when I was a kid.
998
01:02:02,018 --> 01:02:04,218
No, Irish fisherman's sweater.
999
01:02:04,220 --> 01:02:10,257
But non-Irish non-fishers
are permitted to wear them.
1000
01:02:10,259 --> 01:02:11,526
You know, looks kind of big.
1001
01:02:11,528 --> 01:02:13,094
Maybe you should just keep it.
1002
01:02:13,096 --> 01:02:15,897
[Teakettle whistling]
1003
01:02:20,168 --> 01:02:21,402
Molly and Ike are having...
1004
01:02:22,771 --> 01:02:24,572
Babies.
1005
01:02:28,610 --> 01:02:30,478
Jamie,
1006
01:02:30,480 --> 01:02:32,814
I have something
to tell you.
1007
01:02:32,816 --> 01:02:35,650
I already know.
1008
01:02:35,652 --> 01:02:36,917
Why didn't you tell me?
1009
01:02:39,020 --> 01:02:41,856
Well, I only found out about it
last night.
1010
01:02:43,692 --> 01:02:44,959
Why are you lying?
1011
01:02:44,961 --> 01:02:47,127
I found out last week
you were getting married.
1012
01:02:47,129 --> 01:02:48,496
Married?
1013
01:02:48,498 --> 01:02:53,167
You're marrying Sandy.
1014
01:02:53,169 --> 01:02:55,035
Why would I marry
a lesbian,
1015
01:02:55,037 --> 01:02:57,137
especially one
that I've already divorced?
1016
01:02:57,139 --> 01:02:59,541
Last night,
she mumbled something,
1017
01:02:59,543 --> 01:03:01,276
but no.
1018
01:03:05,614 --> 01:03:10,951
So how'd she... get pregnant?
1019
01:03:10,953 --> 01:03:15,656
I went over there one night
1020
01:03:15,658 --> 01:03:18,459
right after her girlfriend
walked out.
1021
01:03:18,461 --> 01:03:20,461
You wanted to make her
feel better?
1022
01:03:20,463 --> 01:03:21,996
No, I wanted me
to feel better.
1023
01:03:21,998 --> 01:03:24,064
It was right after
Tanya's party.
1024
01:03:27,102 --> 01:03:28,569
So it only happened once.
1025
01:03:28,571 --> 01:03:29,837
Oh, yeah.
1026
01:03:29,839 --> 01:03:33,741
We were drunk and...
1027
01:03:33,743 --> 01:03:38,278
the condom fell off inside her
right after.
1028
01:03:38,280 --> 01:03:40,848
Well...
1029
01:03:40,850 --> 01:03:42,817
You get the idea.
1030
01:03:42,819 --> 01:03:45,320
So you happy
about being a father?
1031
01:03:47,155 --> 01:03:48,356
Yeah.
1032
01:03:51,092 --> 01:03:54,729
I'm terrified.
1033
01:03:54,731 --> 01:03:58,666
But, um,
1034
01:03:58,668 --> 01:04:01,636
I'm gonna be here for this kid
no matter what.
1035
01:04:06,174 --> 01:04:09,143
That's great.
1036
01:04:14,483 --> 01:04:16,317
They don't look
like sisters.
1037
01:04:25,160 --> 01:04:27,294
I'm thinking
about breaking my celibacy.
1038
01:04:30,165 --> 01:04:31,365
With who?
1039
01:04:31,367 --> 01:04:34,001
Mick.
1040
01:04:34,003 --> 01:04:37,839
That's great.
1041
01:04:37,841 --> 01:04:39,474
You know what's weird?
1042
01:04:39,476 --> 01:04:41,809
If I hadn't been celibate
and gotten to know Mick,
1043
01:04:41,811 --> 01:04:43,711
I'd probably be with John
right now,
1044
01:04:43,713 --> 01:04:47,515
even though he's really
not right for me.
1045
01:04:47,517 --> 01:04:49,717
Yeah.
1046
01:04:49,719 --> 01:04:53,588
He's not of my world,
you know?
1047
01:04:53,590 --> 01:04:55,255
He doesn't know Homer Simpson.
1048
01:04:55,257 --> 01:04:57,958
Jamie, you've been
with a lot of guys.
1049
01:04:57,960 --> 01:04:59,861
And I'm sure
they all knew Homer Simpson,
1050
01:04:59,863 --> 01:05:02,297
and they were idiots.
1051
01:05:02,299 --> 01:05:04,965
Are you saying
I should be with John?
1052
01:05:04,967 --> 01:05:07,301
I didn't say that.
1053
01:05:13,642 --> 01:05:17,578
Hey, you're probably making
the right choice.
1054
01:05:17,580 --> 01:05:21,415
Mick's a goofball
just like you.
1055
01:05:21,417 --> 01:05:22,983
[Laughs]
1056
01:05:22,985 --> 01:05:26,153
Anyway, John, was, you know...
1057
01:05:26,155 --> 01:05:29,790
he was your teacher, and...
1058
01:05:29,792 --> 01:05:34,729
and he's kind of cerebral
like Daddy.
1059
01:05:34,731 --> 01:05:37,297
It's probably an Oedipal thing.
1060
01:05:37,299 --> 01:05:40,334
Yeah, that's your territory.
1061
01:05:40,336 --> 01:05:45,039
Oh, yeah, right.
1062
01:05:45,041 --> 01:05:46,707
Are you gonna tell John?
1063
01:05:46,709 --> 01:05:50,144
It's Mick.
1064
01:05:50,146 --> 01:05:57,151
Um, yup.
1065
01:05:57,153 --> 01:06:01,822
Well, I saw that one coming
a mile off.
1066
01:06:01,824 --> 01:06:05,392
You could be
more disappointed.
1067
01:06:05,394 --> 01:06:08,463
I want you to be happy.
1068
01:06:14,803 --> 01:06:16,737
You could still be
more disappointed.
1069
01:06:16,739 --> 01:06:18,806
I am. I'm crushed.
1070
01:06:24,345 --> 01:06:26,514
So you've got five days
of celibacy left.
1071
01:06:26,516 --> 01:06:29,283
Uh, yeah,
midnight Friday.
1072
01:06:29,285 --> 01:06:31,118
Any plans to celebrate?
1073
01:06:31,120 --> 01:06:33,053
Mm-mm, not yet.
1074
01:06:36,224 --> 01:06:41,195
Would you, uh,
like to celebrate with me?
1075
01:06:41,197 --> 01:06:44,298
Celebrate how?
1076
01:06:44,300 --> 01:06:45,132
We could go somewhere...
1077
01:06:45,134 --> 01:06:46,934
separate bedrooms, of course.
1078
01:06:50,338 --> 01:06:52,472
One would be cheaper.
1079
01:06:54,475 --> 01:06:57,211
I'm pretending to be calm
right now.
1080
01:07:07,055 --> 01:07:08,255
Blue.
1081
01:07:08,257 --> 01:07:11,458
[Jamie laughs]
1082
01:07:43,491 --> 01:07:45,392
I'm nervous.
1083
01:07:47,628 --> 01:07:50,330
It's not like
I haven't done this before.
1084
01:07:53,468 --> 01:07:57,271
I thought the whole idea
was that...
1085
01:07:57,273 --> 01:07:59,239
you hadn't
done this before.
1086
01:08:01,576 --> 01:08:03,944
Are you nervous?
1087
01:08:03,946 --> 01:08:07,447
Fucking hell, yeah.
1088
01:08:14,522 --> 01:08:16,724
Should we lie down?
1089
01:08:25,233 --> 01:08:27,101
Do you want me
to make the first move,
1090
01:08:27,103 --> 01:08:30,237
or would you like to?
1091
01:08:30,239 --> 01:08:32,306
You can.
1092
01:09:13,648 --> 01:09:15,850
What do you like?
1093
01:09:15,852 --> 01:09:20,354
Um, ear kissing.
1094
01:09:20,356 --> 01:09:23,024
Ear kissing.
1095
01:09:23,026 --> 01:09:25,492
Left or right?
1096
01:09:25,494 --> 01:09:26,526
Left.
1097
01:09:26,528 --> 01:09:28,328
Left?
1098
01:09:28,330 --> 01:09:31,198
Come here.
1099
01:09:31,200 --> 01:09:33,100
[Laughs]
1100
01:09:44,179 --> 01:09:46,247
How do I look?
1101
01:09:46,249 --> 01:09:48,783
Blue is a very good color
on you.
1102
01:10:13,174 --> 01:10:16,243
I like you a lot,
Jamie Harris.
1103
01:10:21,116 --> 01:10:23,918
Um...
1104
01:10:23,920 --> 01:10:28,923
This, uh...
1105
01:10:28,925 --> 01:10:30,557
What? What's wrong?
1106
01:10:30,559 --> 01:10:33,827
This, uh... this...
1107
01:10:33,829 --> 01:10:36,496
this is weird.
1108
01:10:36,498 --> 01:10:38,232
It's weird.
1109
01:10:42,137 --> 01:10:43,803
Do you want me to stop?
1110
01:10:43,805 --> 01:10:47,241
Why don't you come?
1111
01:10:47,243 --> 01:10:50,044
Not if you're not going to.
1112
01:10:59,988 --> 01:11:04,291
I feel bad.
1113
01:11:58,313 --> 01:12:00,247
Mm.
1114
01:13:33,841 --> 01:13:37,177
Look at me. Look at me.
Look at me. Look at me.
1115
01:13:37,179 --> 01:13:39,479
Thank you.
1116
01:13:39,481 --> 01:13:42,048
Okay, lay back.
Lay back. Lay back.
1117
01:13:58,599 --> 01:14:00,600
[Shrieks]
1118
01:14:17,985 --> 01:14:20,687
Jamie, I need to know something.
1119
01:14:20,689 --> 01:14:24,191
What?
1120
01:14:24,193 --> 01:14:26,760
You're not gonna be...
1121
01:14:26,762 --> 01:14:29,029
off having sex
with other blokes, are you?
1122
01:14:29,031 --> 01:14:34,334
Are... are you...
1123
01:14:34,336 --> 01:14:38,572
are you asking, like,
for a commitment?
1124
01:14:38,574 --> 01:14:40,607
Yeah, I am.
1125
01:14:43,378 --> 01:14:45,912
I've never, uh...
1126
01:14:45,914 --> 01:14:50,117
Well, I mean, nobody's...
1127
01:14:50,119 --> 01:14:51,218
I've never done that.
1128
01:14:51,220 --> 01:14:54,321
Well, I don't want
to be worrying
1129
01:14:54,323 --> 01:14:59,059
you're off
with some asshole.
1130
01:14:59,061 --> 01:15:01,061
That would be pretty stupid
1131
01:15:01,063 --> 01:15:02,997
when I could be with you.
1132
01:15:02,999 --> 01:15:06,032
People do stupid things,
1133
01:15:06,034 --> 01:15:10,003
especially when there's nothing
keeping them from doing them.
1134
01:15:17,178 --> 01:15:18,678
Okay.
1135
01:15:18,680 --> 01:15:20,847
Okay what?
1136
01:15:20,849 --> 01:15:23,684
Okay, let's do it.
1137
01:15:34,129 --> 01:15:36,062
Okay.
1138
01:15:38,766 --> 01:15:43,037
Oh, I cannot believe I just went
from celibacy to monogamy
1139
01:15:43,039 --> 01:15:44,771
in one weekend.
1140
01:15:44,773 --> 01:15:47,407
Are you sure that's healthy?
1141
01:15:47,409 --> 01:15:49,509
Only in this case.
1142
01:15:54,249 --> 01:15:57,884
I need a name
for a cleanser,
1143
01:15:57,886 --> 01:16:01,588
something like Mr. Clean.
1144
01:16:01,590 --> 01:16:04,525
What about Mrs. Clean?
1145
01:16:04,527 --> 01:16:07,927
Huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
1146
01:16:19,374 --> 01:16:21,041
I love you.
1147
01:16:23,244 --> 01:16:25,245
You do?
1148
01:16:28,516 --> 01:16:32,519
No one's ever said that to me.
1149
01:16:32,521 --> 01:16:37,391
So you've...
1150
01:16:37,393 --> 01:16:42,896
you've never said it
to anyone?
1151
01:16:49,670 --> 01:16:55,742
Well...
1152
01:16:55,744 --> 01:16:58,545
how do you feel
about giving it a try?
1153
01:16:58,547 --> 01:16:59,480
You don't have to.
1154
01:17:01,516 --> 01:17:05,319
I think I can do it.
1155
01:17:05,321 --> 01:17:06,953
I love you.
1156
01:17:06,955 --> 01:17:08,588
What'd you say?
1157
01:17:33,981 --> 01:17:35,815
Oh, my God, guys,
be careful.
1158
01:17:35,817 --> 01:17:37,083
Whoa!
1159
01:17:40,488 --> 01:17:42,556
(Laura)
Where do you want this?
1160
01:17:42,558 --> 01:17:44,591
(Jamie)
Uh, turtles,
put them over there.
1161
01:17:48,530 --> 01:17:54,701
Mmmmmm.
1162
01:17:54,703 --> 01:17:56,970
Did you hear that?
1163
01:18:00,175 --> 01:18:02,909
I got to go to my birthing class
in five minutes.
1164
01:18:02,911 --> 01:18:04,311
Just when I'm beating you?
1165
01:18:04,313 --> 01:18:05,679
Do you have to?
1166
01:18:05,681 --> 01:18:07,280
Tonight's the umbilical cord.
1167
01:18:07,282 --> 01:18:08,615
I have to learn about that.
1168
01:18:08,617 --> 01:18:10,950
Why?
Just gonna cut it off.
1169
01:18:10,952 --> 01:18:12,018
Jamie!
1170
01:18:12,020 --> 01:18:13,820
Well, you know, I'm sorry.
1171
01:18:13,822 --> 01:18:15,789
You're just always thinking
about the kid,
1172
01:18:15,791 --> 01:18:17,156
and it's not even
been born yet.
1173
01:18:22,897 --> 01:18:25,932
Fuck, I don't think I'm ready
to be a stepmother
1174
01:18:25,934 --> 01:18:28,869
or step-girlfriend, whatever.
1175
01:18:31,338 --> 01:18:33,640
I don't even know
what a mother does.
1176
01:18:40,548 --> 01:18:42,249
You'll learn.
1177
01:18:47,187 --> 01:18:50,224
It's just hard
1178
01:18:50,226 --> 01:18:56,563
'cause you don't have
a mother of your own.
1179
01:18:56,565 --> 01:18:58,232
[Phone rings]
1180
01:18:58,234 --> 01:19:01,034
(Jamie)
Hi, leave messages for Jamie
or Mick after the beep.
1181
01:19:01,036 --> 01:19:02,702
You can reach Jamie
at her old number
1182
01:19:02,704 --> 01:19:03,703
during the day.
1183
01:19:03,705 --> 01:19:04,804
Beep!
1184
01:19:04,806 --> 01:19:07,373
(Mick)
Hi, I have to work late.
1185
01:19:07,375 --> 01:19:10,043
Don't wait up for me.
Bye.
1186
01:19:12,713 --> 01:19:15,649
[Whirring]
1187
01:19:25,460 --> 01:19:28,728
[Phone rings]
1188
01:19:28,730 --> 01:19:30,364
Hello.
1189
01:19:30,366 --> 01:19:32,532
(man)
Hi, this is Mark,
Mick's new assistant.
1190
01:19:32,534 --> 01:19:34,434
Is he there?
1191
01:19:34,436 --> 01:19:36,570
He's at work.
1192
01:19:36,572 --> 01:19:38,972
Uh, I'll get him on his cell.
1193
01:19:38,974 --> 01:19:40,641
Okay.
1194
01:19:41,976 --> 01:19:43,242
[Touch tones]
1195
01:19:43,244 --> 01:19:45,479
[Phone rings]
1196
01:19:45,481 --> 01:19:46,480
(Mick)
Hi.
1197
01:19:46,482 --> 01:19:48,948
Hey. How's work?
1198
01:19:48,950 --> 01:19:50,216
I'm busy.
1199
01:19:50,218 --> 01:19:52,752
I'm the middle...
can I call you back?
1200
01:19:52,754 --> 01:19:54,754
Yeah, you know,
don't bother.
1201
01:20:10,705 --> 01:20:13,640
[Woman laughing]
1202
01:20:24,719 --> 01:20:27,053
(Grant-Lee Phillips)
� Save your breath. �
1203
01:20:27,055 --> 01:20:31,157
� Save your promises. �
1204
01:20:31,159 --> 01:20:36,563
� They'll be
the death of you. � �
1205
01:20:36,565 --> 01:20:50,209
� �
1206
01:20:50,211 --> 01:20:51,144
Hey.
1207
01:20:54,782 --> 01:20:59,252
Your arms look good.
1208
01:20:59,254 --> 01:21:02,221
The casts, remember?
1209
01:21:02,223 --> 01:21:03,156
Zzzz!
1210
01:21:06,928 --> 01:21:09,896
Oh, hey. Yeah, right.
1211
01:21:13,067 --> 01:21:15,134
Want to get a drink?
1212
01:21:19,340 --> 01:21:20,941
[Horn honks]
1213
01:21:20,943 --> 01:21:24,911
You know, I've had
a crush on you, uh,
1214
01:21:24,913 --> 01:21:26,312
ever since...
1215
01:21:26,314 --> 01:21:28,615
Since I was a vegetable?
1216
01:21:33,120 --> 01:21:37,090
Yeah, well.
1217
01:21:37,092 --> 01:21:39,959
I promise...
1218
01:21:39,961 --> 01:21:44,397
I never acted on it.
1219
01:21:44,399 --> 01:21:46,032
Why not?
1220
01:21:58,512 --> 01:21:59,913
I can't do this.
1221
01:21:59,915 --> 01:22:01,748
Whoa, go ahead.
1222
01:22:01,750 --> 01:22:04,618
I have to go.
1223
01:22:09,924 --> 01:22:13,460
Where have you been?
1224
01:22:13,462 --> 01:22:17,130
I, um, went for a drink
1225
01:22:17,132 --> 01:22:20,099
after watching you
finger the woman
1226
01:22:20,101 --> 01:22:21,802
who fucked my sister's husband.
1227
01:22:27,542 --> 01:22:30,944
Jamie.
1228
01:22:30,946 --> 01:22:34,681
I was practicing
water birthing.
1229
01:22:34,683 --> 01:22:37,784
Sandy was in the next room
with Amber's baby.
1230
01:22:37,786 --> 01:22:40,519
I don't understand.
1231
01:22:40,521 --> 01:22:45,391
Amber's become
a water birthing coach.
1232
01:22:48,629 --> 01:22:50,697
And she's practicing with you?
1233
01:22:50,699 --> 01:22:52,799
And Sandy.
1234
01:22:52,801 --> 01:22:54,133
What?
1235
01:22:54,135 --> 01:22:55,168
What are... what are...
1236
01:22:55,170 --> 01:22:57,737
Sandy and Amber are an item.
1237
01:22:59,640 --> 01:23:01,140
Amber didn't want you
to know yet
1238
01:23:01,142 --> 01:23:04,577
because she thinks
you and Laura still hate her.
1239
01:23:20,227 --> 01:23:21,628
Where have you been?
1240
01:23:21,630 --> 01:23:24,630
I went for a drink...
1241
01:23:24,632 --> 01:23:28,735
or seven.
1242
01:23:28,737 --> 01:23:30,236
I can smell him.
1243
01:23:33,373 --> 01:23:34,708
I didn't do it.
1244
01:23:34,710 --> 01:23:35,775
No, no, no, no,
1245
01:23:35,777 --> 01:23:36,810
I didn't do it.
1246
01:23:36,812 --> 01:23:37,811
I couldn't.
1247
01:23:37,813 --> 01:23:39,278
I went there.
I tried.
1248
01:23:39,280 --> 01:23:43,116
Oh, he was too drunk
to get it up?
1249
01:23:43,118 --> 01:23:44,450
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
1250
01:23:44,452 --> 01:23:46,152
I just... we just made out
a little bit.
1251
01:23:46,154 --> 01:23:48,321
I was really, really drunk,
and I couldn't do it.
1252
01:23:48,323 --> 01:23:49,890
I couldn't do it. I'm...
1253
01:23:54,328 --> 01:23:56,395
Fuck.
1254
01:23:56,397 --> 01:23:58,031
Please.
1255
01:24:01,936 --> 01:24:05,038
How am I supposed
to trust you?
1256
01:24:05,040 --> 01:24:08,808
Next time, you'll just
get a little drunker and...
1257
01:24:08,810 --> 01:24:11,578
No, I thought
you didn't love me anymore.
1258
01:24:11,580 --> 01:24:14,013
Well, now you've made sure
of that, haven't you?
1259
01:24:17,952 --> 01:24:20,353
You didn't learn a thing
from celibacy.
1260
01:24:20,355 --> 01:24:21,420
You're still fucked up,
1261
01:24:21,422 --> 01:24:24,057
and now you're
fucking me up too.
1262
01:24:25,225 --> 01:24:27,493
I made a mistake.
1263
01:24:27,495 --> 01:24:28,795
I saw Amber. L...
1264
01:24:28,797 --> 01:24:29,996
Even if I was with her,
1265
01:24:29,998 --> 01:24:32,165
wouldn't you just yell at me
or beat me up?
1266
01:24:32,167 --> 01:24:34,667
But no, you just went off
with some bloke.
1267
01:24:48,983 --> 01:24:51,417
I thought you'd changed.
1268
01:25:26,286 --> 01:25:27,954
Laura?
1269
01:25:43,103 --> 01:25:44,670
What the fuck is this?
1270
01:25:44,672 --> 01:25:47,841
Oh, God, Jamie! Oh!
1271
01:25:47,843 --> 01:25:51,144
Oh, sweetie,
I'm so sorry.
1272
01:25:51,146 --> 01:25:54,613
We meant to tell you,
but it just...
1273
01:25:54,615 --> 01:25:57,316
we just started
running together, and...
1274
01:25:57,318 --> 01:25:59,152
You were already with Mick.
1275
01:26:08,628 --> 01:26:14,434
(Grant-Lee Phillips)
� Oh, what a colorful lie, �
1276
01:26:14,436 --> 01:26:23,042
� leading me on
without ever batting an eye. �
1277
01:26:23,044 --> 01:26:25,912
� �
1278
01:26:25,914 --> 01:26:31,417
� How many pecks on the cheek �
1279
01:26:31,419 --> 01:26:39,693
� before I get wind
that I'm on a losing streak? �
1280
01:26:39,695 --> 01:26:44,064
� Yeah, too many for me. �
1281
01:26:44,066 --> 01:26:46,699
� �
1282
01:26:46,701 --> 01:26:48,667
� Too many for me. � �
1283
01:26:50,204 --> 01:26:53,907
(Mr. Harris)
Jamie, you've got
to eat something.
1284
01:26:59,113 --> 01:27:02,048
Not gonna let you...
1285
01:27:02,050 --> 01:27:04,884
Don't worry.
1286
01:27:04,886 --> 01:27:07,687
I'm not killing myself.
1287
01:27:07,689 --> 01:27:11,725
That's what your mother said,
and I believed her.
1288
01:27:16,230 --> 01:27:17,797
What?
1289
01:27:17,799 --> 01:27:20,934
I let your mother kill herself.
1290
01:27:20,936 --> 01:27:25,104
You did not.
1291
01:27:25,106 --> 01:27:26,940
I'm the one who went off
with Mary Marks
1292
01:27:26,942 --> 01:27:28,674
and left Mommy alone.
1293
01:27:28,676 --> 01:27:31,077
It is not your fault.
1294
01:27:31,079 --> 01:27:36,615
It's not your fault either,
Daddy.
1295
01:27:50,898 --> 01:27:52,531
Hi, uh,
1296
01:27:52,533 --> 01:27:56,302
I just... I just wanted
to say that, um,
1297
01:27:56,304 --> 01:27:58,904
you know that stuff
that you said about me
1298
01:27:58,906 --> 01:28:01,341
about how I haven't changed?
1299
01:28:06,647 --> 01:28:09,815
I wanted you to know...
1300
01:28:09,817 --> 01:28:12,986
I've been thinking
about it a lot.
1301
01:28:19,059 --> 01:28:21,995
[Baby crying]
1302
01:28:25,065 --> 01:28:27,700
[People chatting]
1303
01:28:27,702 --> 01:28:30,603
He's the right one for her,
1304
01:28:30,605 --> 01:28:32,605
and she's the right one for him.
1305
01:28:32,607 --> 01:28:34,840
Oh, Amber, please.
1306
01:28:50,890 --> 01:28:52,926
[Glasses clinking]
1307
01:28:52,928 --> 01:28:56,129
Everyone, I think it's time
for a little toast,
1308
01:28:56,131 --> 01:28:57,897
so everyone grab a drink
1309
01:28:57,899 --> 01:29:01,735
and give me your ear
for a minute.
1310
01:29:01,737 --> 01:29:05,204
Well, my father always liked
to make little deals with me.
1311
01:29:05,206 --> 01:29:06,839
In seventh grade, it was,
1312
01:29:06,841 --> 01:29:10,009
"I'll give you $10
if you're home by midnight
1313
01:29:10,011 --> 01:29:11,778
and you don't smell
like cigarettes."
1314
01:29:11,780 --> 01:29:12,845
[Laughter]
1315
01:29:12,847 --> 01:29:14,247
Oh, God, this is bad.
1316
01:29:14,249 --> 01:29:17,884
Okay, he made a big deal today,
and he, um, got married.
1317
01:29:17,886 --> 01:29:20,019
Let's do a toast
to the newlyweds.
1318
01:29:20,021 --> 01:29:21,054
[Knocking at door]
1319
01:29:21,056 --> 01:29:22,956
Dad.
1320
01:29:22,958 --> 01:29:23,923
Okay.
1321
01:29:27,227 --> 01:29:28,995
I'll give you $100
1322
01:29:28,997 --> 01:29:31,197
if you'll let us
stay in the bedroom.
1323
01:29:31,199 --> 01:29:35,468
[Laughter and applause]
1324
01:29:37,805 --> 01:29:39,238
Toast.
1325
01:29:39,240 --> 01:29:40,173
Cheers.
1326
01:29:55,655 --> 01:29:58,925
Oh, ooh, honey.
1327
01:29:58,927 --> 01:30:03,096
Oh, you're hungry.
1328
01:30:03,098 --> 01:30:05,098
How is Mick?
1329
01:30:05,100 --> 01:30:08,434
Uh, well,
1330
01:30:08,436 --> 01:30:10,436
I promised I wouldn't
talk to you about him,
1331
01:30:10,438 --> 01:30:12,671
but since you asked,
I will.
1332
01:30:12,673 --> 01:30:15,008
Uh, well, at least
he's reading your emails,
1333
01:30:15,010 --> 01:30:16,709
and, uh, well, you know,
he's better.
1334
01:30:16,711 --> 01:30:18,611
At least he's not shouting at me
all the time.
1335
01:30:21,615 --> 01:30:23,149
He's fine, really.
1336
01:30:23,151 --> 01:30:24,450
She has his ears.
1337
01:30:24,452 --> 01:30:26,219
You think so?
1338
01:30:26,221 --> 01:30:28,821
(Mick)
No, they're much nicer ears.
1339
01:30:28,823 --> 01:30:31,924
Oh, Daddy.
1340
01:30:31,926 --> 01:30:33,159
Come here.
1341
01:30:33,161 --> 01:30:34,193
(Sandy)
Daddy's here.
1342
01:30:34,195 --> 01:30:35,261
(Mick)
What's wrong?
1343
01:30:35,263 --> 01:30:37,030
What's wrong?
1344
01:30:37,032 --> 01:30:39,165
Did you miss me?
Did you?
1345
01:30:39,167 --> 01:30:41,867
Cutie. You're so cute.
1346
01:30:43,203 --> 01:30:45,505
Yeah, it's a diaper change.
I'll do it.
1347
01:30:45,507 --> 01:30:46,972
I'll do it.
1348
01:30:58,218 --> 01:31:00,453
Two or three years,
she'll be toilet trained.
1349
01:31:05,492 --> 01:31:08,127
Good to see you. Cheers.
1350
01:31:08,129 --> 01:31:09,562
Cheers.
1351
01:31:20,574 --> 01:31:25,611
I love her more
than I ever could have imagined.
1352
01:31:25,613 --> 01:31:28,448
She's taught me so much.
1353
01:31:28,450 --> 01:31:30,249
Yeah, like what?
1354
01:31:30,251 --> 01:31:37,056
Like...
1355
01:31:37,058 --> 01:31:38,724
I shouldn't hold it
against someone
1356
01:31:38,726 --> 01:31:40,959
if she shits on me
once in a while.
1357
01:31:46,900 --> 01:31:50,036
As long as she's sorry.
1358
01:31:50,038 --> 01:31:52,038
I am.
1359
01:31:52,040 --> 01:31:54,807
Me too.
1360
01:31:57,677 --> 01:31:59,712
I got all high and mighty,
1361
01:31:59,714 --> 01:32:02,381
and I couldn't let go of it.
1362
01:32:05,385 --> 01:32:08,121
I want us back.
1363
01:32:08,123 --> 01:32:10,389
I want us.
1364
01:32:10,391 --> 01:32:14,160
Are you sure?
1365
01:32:14,162 --> 01:32:16,495
Oh, um...
1366
01:32:16,497 --> 01:32:17,696
Shut up!
1367
01:32:24,404 --> 01:32:27,340
[Baby crying]
1368
01:32:37,317 --> 01:32:41,287
She's very easy, really.
1369
01:32:49,263 --> 01:32:52,265
Captioning by CaptionMax
www.captionmax.com
1370
01:32:52,267 --> 01:32:55,668
[soft guitar music]
1371
01:32:55,670 --> 01:32:59,839
(Grant-Lee Phillips)
� Nothing is for sure, no. �
1372
01:32:59,841 --> 01:33:06,745
� Sleep still in my eyes. �
1373
01:33:06,747 --> 01:33:10,783
� Fumbling for the door, oh. �
1374
01:33:10,785 --> 01:33:18,056
� She doesn't like
to face the morning light. �
1375
01:33:18,058 --> 01:33:22,060
� Nothing is for sure, oh, �
1376
01:33:22,062 --> 01:33:29,202
� as I begin my day. �
1377
01:33:29,204 --> 01:33:32,104
� Glasses are a blur �
1378
01:33:32,106 --> 01:33:39,044
� as my world's about
to spin the other way. �
1379
01:33:39,046 --> 01:33:44,650
� Spin me the other way. �
1380
01:33:44,652 --> 01:33:50,356
� I've got to learn
not to say "always." �
1381
01:33:50,358 --> 01:33:55,928
� Spin me the other way. �
1382
01:33:55,930 --> 01:34:04,370
� People on the other half
got no worries. �
1383
01:34:04,372 --> 01:34:08,441
� Nothing is for sure, no. �
1384
01:34:08,443 --> 01:34:15,515
� Sleep still in my eyes. �
1385
01:34:15,517 --> 01:34:19,252
� Fumbling for the door, oh. �
1386
01:34:19,254 --> 01:34:26,592
� She doesn't like
to face the morning light. �
1387
01:34:26,594 --> 01:34:30,663
� Nothing is for sure, no, �
1388
01:34:30,665 --> 01:34:37,870
� as I begin my day. �
1389
01:34:37,872 --> 01:34:40,539
� Glasses are a blur �
1390
01:34:40,541 --> 01:34:49,081
� as my world's about
to spin the other way. �
1391
01:34:49,083 --> 01:34:54,487
� Nothing is for sure, oh, �
1392
01:34:54,489 --> 01:35:00,158
� and nothing is for sure. �
1393
01:35:00,160 --> 01:35:05,664
� Nothing is for sure, oh, �
1394
01:35:05,666 --> 01:35:10,102
� and nothing is for sure. �
1395
01:35:10,104 --> 01:35:15,741
� Spin me the other way. �
1396
01:35:15,743 --> 01:35:23,583
� I got to learn
not to say "always." � �
1397
01:35:27,487 --> 01:35:30,489
[mellow guitar music]
1398
01:35:30,491 --> 01:35:39,365
� �
1399
01:35:39,367 --> 01:35:42,367
� Heavenly, heavenly. �
1400
01:35:42,369 --> 01:35:50,976
� What other words
could I use to describe �
1401
01:35:50,978 --> 01:35:56,515
� the heavenly ivory touch
of your hand �
1402
01:35:56,517 --> 01:36:02,888
� as it covers my eyes? �
1403
01:36:02,890 --> 01:36:08,794
� Hushing me off to sleep, �
1404
01:36:08,796 --> 01:36:14,633
� putting my mind at ease. �
1405
01:36:14,635 --> 01:36:17,770
� Lovingly, lovingly, �
1406
01:36:17,772 --> 01:36:26,479
� every caress
that you ever gave, �
1407
01:36:26,481 --> 01:36:31,784
� all of you knowing me
like no one else �
1408
01:36:31,786 --> 01:36:38,290
� at the end of the day. �
1409
01:36:38,292 --> 01:36:44,162
� Brushing my fears away, �
1410
01:36:44,164 --> 01:36:50,035
� knowing just what to say. �
1411
01:36:50,037 --> 01:36:56,642
� Heavenly, heavenly,
heavenly. � �
1412
01:37:05,000 --> 01:37:09,000
Done by (c) dCd / April 2011