1 00:00:28,173 --> 00:00:31,342 {\an8}"Thank you, thank you, Salt and Peppa." 2 00:00:31,551 --> 00:00:35,430 {\an8}"Thank you, Bernie Koppel, thank you..." 3 00:00:35,477 --> 00:00:39,272 {\an8}Who is the worst presented duo? And a musical guest, according to you? 4 00:00:39,726 --> 00:00:44,480 {\an8}- (Buzz Aldrin) and (Kris Kross) - Good, Joan Didion and White Snake. 5 00:00:44,606 --> 00:00:48,526 {\an8}- (David Duke) and (Wutang Clan) -Judge Lance Ito and The B52 6 00:00:48,651 --> 00:00:51,362 {\an8}- (Ted Kennedy) and (Dead Kennedys) - Well done 7 00:00:51,487 --> 00:00:53,031 - That's good, right? - Yes 8 00:00:53,323 --> 00:00:58,244 “Another Saturday night alone in my room Why don't you call me?" 9 00:00:59,370 --> 00:01:02,916 "I'm so lonely and I want you so bad" 10 00:01:03,291 --> 00:01:07,253 {\an8}- "1900, (One Hat Pat)" - “1900, (One Hat Bat)” 11 00:01:07,587 --> 00:01:09,505 {\an8}"At a cost of only 3.99 per minute" 12 00:01:09,839 --> 00:01:13,801 {\an8}Dude, how hot I wish we could call one of the numbers 13 00:01:14,211 --> 00:01:15,258 Do you want that? 14 00:01:15,453 --> 00:01:18,514 {\an8}What? Are you kidding? My father will kill us if we call 900 15 00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:21,726 {\an8}Wait a minute, perhaps there is a copy 800 be free 16 00:01:21,819 --> 00:01:23,863 {\an8}- Try 1800 - Okay 17 00:01:29,055 --> 00:01:31,141 {\an8}"American Airlines How can I help you?" 18 00:01:33,184 --> 00:01:37,564 {\an8}- Hey, are you feeling excited? “I don't know, maybe a little.” 19 00:01:38,523 --> 00:01:41,860 {\an8}"You might have more luck calling United." "I think they're very excited." 20 00:01:41,985 --> 00:01:45,572 {\an8}- Okay, thanks “You're welcome, stay tough, buddy.” 21 00:01:45,697 --> 00:01:47,073 Yes, you too 22 00:01:51,161 --> 00:01:54,205 White man performing solo It will be good 23 00:01:59,544 --> 00:02:02,631 {\an8}Shit, this is the third period I hate gym class 24 00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:05,216 {\an8}I am always afraid that my penis will fall out From my shorts 25 00:02:05,310 --> 00:02:07,604 {\an8}But it does not happen This doesn't feel good either 26 00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:11,389 {\an8}According to you, how do I feel? Why don't we go smoke in the pantry? 27 00:02:14,517 --> 00:02:16,561 "Caution: Pantry" 28 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:18,897 What's going on? 29 00:02:19,064 --> 00:02:21,900 Yes, the janitor hung himself there Last week 30 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:23,777 {\an8}Yes 31 00:02:23,902 --> 00:02:27,781 {\an8}This is strange, he was happy when he told us that he bet 25 thousand for the Pats match. 32 00:02:27,867 --> 00:02:30,744 What about the bottom layer? Did anyone commit suicide there? 33 00:02:30,909 --> 00:02:32,285 Not to my knowledge 34 00:02:42,087 --> 00:02:44,172 - Look at this - What? 35 00:02:44,339 --> 00:02:47,842 -There is a phone - A pay phone on the bottom floor? 36 00:02:47,967 --> 00:02:49,344 Yes 37 00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:50,845 (Johnny) 38 00:02:50,970 --> 00:02:53,098 1900 (hat bat) 39 00:02:55,684 --> 00:02:57,143 There is a dial tone 40 00:03:05,443 --> 00:03:11,741 Welcome to the number (1900 One Hat Pat) Stay tuned for exciting telephonic entertainment.” 41 00:03:11,866 --> 00:03:15,203 "There are two masturbators on the line before you." 42 00:03:15,328 --> 00:03:16,705 - Damn - Wow, damn 43 00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:18,206 - Damn - Oh, wonderful, wonderful 44 00:03:18,331 --> 00:03:21,292 - "Hello, who's calling?" - (John) 45 00:03:21,418 --> 00:03:23,670 -Do not use your real name - (John) without the letter (Ish) 46 00:03:23,795 --> 00:03:28,007 "Hi hottie, I'm Shauna." - Hello, Shauna. 47 00:03:28,133 --> 00:03:31,344 - Are you the girl from the ad? - "This is up to you" 48 00:03:31,469 --> 00:03:37,142 “Is she a nasty brunette with huge breasts?” - No, she's a blonde with big breasts and a B-size bra. 49 00:03:37,267 --> 00:03:38,643 "Yes, that's me" 50 00:03:38,768 --> 00:03:43,356 “Tell me, what you would do to me If you were here now? 51 00:03:43,523 --> 00:03:48,278 - What, sexually? “We can do anything you want, dear.” 52 00:03:48,403 --> 00:03:53,116 - Okay, I'll touch your chest - "Wow" 53 00:03:53,366 --> 00:03:57,996 -And then touch your other breast “Wow, slow down.” 54 00:03:58,121 --> 00:04:02,083 - (Teddy) Stop, you're hurting her - Damn, is this too much? I'm trying to have fun 55 00:04:02,250 --> 00:04:05,003 Shawna, teach us how to be Good lovers 56 00:04:11,384 --> 00:04:13,178 - “Entry Permission” - “Entry Permission” 57 00:04:13,303 --> 00:04:14,721 "One world" 58 00:04:29,068 --> 00:04:30,904 - “Entry Permission” - “Entry Permission” 59 00:04:31,154 --> 00:04:33,740 “Tuesday, Wednesday Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday" 60 00:04:33,865 --> 00:04:39,078 “Monday 8, Tuesday 9, Wednesday 10...” 61 00:05:05,104 --> 00:05:11,402 - (Teddy) sexy ass - Hot ass covered in butter 62 00:05:12,195 --> 00:05:13,571 - That's good - Yes, we know 63 00:05:13,696 --> 00:05:15,073 You are crazy 64 00:05:15,198 --> 00:05:18,117 -You two have been in a good mood lately - Yes 65 00:05:18,243 --> 00:05:19,619 Yes 66 00:05:19,744 --> 00:05:22,372 -Do you know if Becky called today? - Who is Becky? 67 00:05:22,497 --> 00:05:26,501 I started giving private lessons to students For extra money, she's my student 68 00:05:26,626 --> 00:05:29,128 She is worried about the English test I told her she could call me 69 00:05:29,254 --> 00:05:31,965 (Matty) She's a wonderful little girl 70 00:05:32,090 --> 00:05:34,092 I already told you I don't want to meet new people 71 00:05:35,218 --> 00:05:36,594 She's calling 72 00:05:40,181 --> 00:05:41,558 Hello 73 00:05:43,309 --> 00:05:44,686 What do you want? 74 00:05:45,603 --> 00:05:47,730 You are definitely joking 75 00:05:47,856 --> 00:05:49,232 No 76 00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:52,151 Did you hear me? I said no 77 00:05:52,610 --> 00:05:56,406 I don't know, do you want me to? Enumerating tens of billions of reasons? 78 00:05:56,573 --> 00:05:58,366 No, fuck you 79 00:06:00,118 --> 00:06:06,499 - Is this Becky? - No, no, this is my father 80 00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:10,420 - Bernie, what does he want? -He wants to visit us 81 00:06:10,587 --> 00:06:14,757 Bernie's coming here? Wow, this is great, finally 82 00:06:14,883 --> 00:06:19,554 No, I told him repeatedly that I never wanted to see him 83 00:06:19,679 --> 00:06:21,723 You are talking about your father 84 00:06:21,848 --> 00:06:26,978 He said he wanted to make things right between us But I'm not interested, I don't want him here 85 00:06:28,897 --> 00:06:31,399 Bernie can come here When he wants, okay? 86 00:06:31,524 --> 00:06:33,651 This is my home, and he is my eldest brother 87 00:06:33,818 --> 00:06:38,781 Really? But he's my dad and he's a big jerk I wish you wouldn't interfere with it 88 00:06:38,907 --> 00:06:40,283 Fuck 89 00:06:40,408 --> 00:06:42,660 Do you know? I will call him I tell him he can come here 90 00:06:42,785 --> 00:06:45,872 -And he can stay as long as he wants - (Matty) Hey, please, don't do this 91 00:06:45,997 --> 00:06:48,625 I refuse not to receive my brother at my home 92 00:06:51,252 --> 00:06:55,340 -Do you hate him that much? - If he sets foot in this house, I will leave here 93 00:06:58,968 --> 00:07:01,596 I can't wait to hear Shauna's opinion. In this regard 94 00:07:07,727 --> 00:07:14,943 - “Hello, this is Candy. Who’s calling?” - Hello Candy, we usually talk to Shauna. 95 00:07:15,109 --> 00:07:18,613 “Shauna's not working today AIDS is not the cause. 96 00:07:19,739 --> 00:07:23,493 - Okay, but we didn't ask you “Legally, you don't have the right to do that.” 97 00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:28,957 "Anyway, it's me, Candy." "sweet and sticky" 98 00:07:29,123 --> 00:07:34,045 Wow, Candy, you look amazing But we spent a lot of time talking to Shauna. 99 00:07:34,170 --> 00:07:36,130 A kind of intimacy developed between us 100 00:07:36,255 --> 00:07:38,967 I'm afraid you won't be able to keep up with us In the bond we built together 101 00:07:39,133 --> 00:07:42,136 “Do you want me to talk about oral sex?” - Well, you deserved it 102 00:07:42,303 --> 00:07:43,846 "What are you imagining?" 103 00:07:44,013 --> 00:07:47,934 I'm the most famous music producer in the industry And you are a worthless person 104 00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:50,645 -What will you do for me? - What a shame 105 00:07:50,895 --> 00:07:52,772 - What? - This is very dark 106 00:07:52,897 --> 00:07:54,399 What will you do? 107 00:07:54,565 --> 00:07:57,777 Hello, I am a struggling music producer I need your talents in my company 108 00:07:57,902 --> 00:08:00,863 We put artists first You will own the copyright 109 00:08:01,030 --> 00:08:03,408 “Okay, should I take off my clothes then?” 110 00:08:03,574 --> 00:08:07,412 Don't forget, my dear, I don't want anything to stop In my work path, which is creating successful songs 111 00:08:07,829 --> 00:08:10,581 Do you know who else I discovered? Via sex calls? (Huey Lewis) 112 00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:13,793 He was just like you, sucking and fucking He does everything for money 113 00:08:13,918 --> 00:08:16,129 That's what the song "Power of Love" is about, so 114 00:08:16,713 --> 00:08:19,465 -I think I lost my erection - Good, we have songs to write 115 00:08:23,761 --> 00:08:26,597 "Who or rather, what was the Ice Man?" 116 00:08:26,931 --> 00:08:30,184 “Most people assumed it was just that What was announced? 117 00:08:30,768 --> 00:08:33,771 "An entertainment trick invented by the master of the show." 118 00:08:35,314 --> 00:08:37,567 - Hello, idiot - Hello 119 00:08:37,692 --> 00:08:41,362 - I brought you the Quays, refill - (Bernie), you asshole 120 00:08:41,529 --> 00:08:42,905 - I hurt you - Direct hit 121 00:08:43,031 --> 00:08:45,491 - Come and hug me, stranger - Yes, pay attention 122 00:08:45,616 --> 00:08:47,410 Hug me for real, you dirty bastard 123 00:08:47,535 --> 00:08:50,121 - Listen to me, don't act like you don't know me -I know you 124 00:08:50,246 --> 00:08:51,789 I love you, you junkie 125 00:08:51,914 --> 00:08:54,667 Why don't you go? To swallow some cum, you faggot? 126 00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:56,335 It's fun to have company 127 00:08:56,502 --> 00:08:59,338 Bernie, hello 128 00:08:59,464 --> 00:09:05,011 I inflated an air mattress for you in the attic And I put Andes candy on your pillow 129 00:09:05,136 --> 00:09:09,348 Really? This is how Matty freshens his breath After swallowing semen? 130 00:09:10,266 --> 00:09:12,643 As if Bob Newhart was home 131 00:09:12,769 --> 00:09:15,730 - Susie, why do you stay with this damned lunatic? -I love this man 132 00:09:15,938 --> 00:09:17,774 I thought Denise would come with you 133 00:09:17,899 --> 00:09:21,569 We had a fight on Route 128 And I got out of the car 134 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:27,408 But speaking of the Bennett girls... This is my princess. Hello, Blair. 135 00:09:27,533 --> 00:09:29,285 No, no, no, I'll leave 136 00:09:29,410 --> 00:09:33,289 - Blair, this is your father. Say hello - Seriously, Matty, don't interfere 137 00:09:33,414 --> 00:09:38,377 Blair's right, I deserve to be ignored I have to earn my daughter's respect, so here I am 138 00:09:38,503 --> 00:09:41,130 - Come on, Johnny, you're old enough - Thank you 139 00:09:41,255 --> 00:09:44,050 (Johnny) Of course not, that will hinder your growth 140 00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:47,303 This is what happened to the little man On Fantasy Island 141 00:09:47,428 --> 00:09:51,224 Hi Bernie, I'm Ted. I remember when I wanted all the kittens 142 00:09:51,349 --> 00:09:54,227 It happened on Christmas Eve I can do whatever I want 143 00:09:54,352 --> 00:09:57,730 - Isn't it, Matty? - Damn it, stop it, Bernie! 144 00:09:57,939 --> 00:10:00,441 - Me? You're hitting your balls - Enough 145 00:10:00,566 --> 00:10:02,693 Stop hitting your balls 146 00:10:03,611 --> 00:10:07,782 Stop hitting your balls Stop beating your balls, Matty. 147 00:10:09,742 --> 00:10:13,830 -I'll be in my room screaming into a pillow - Okay 148 00:10:16,082 --> 00:10:18,167 Damn, I pooped 149 00:10:23,673 --> 00:10:26,008 Who do you prefer? Candy or Shauna? 150 00:10:26,134 --> 00:10:29,929 I think I'm better, Shauna. Candy's coughing spells are ruining my mood 151 00:10:30,054 --> 00:10:32,974 - Yes, actually, I'm a little worried about her - I know 152 00:10:33,182 --> 00:10:35,476 And I hope Heather's son finds a kidney 153 00:10:35,643 --> 00:10:38,187 She said they found her, but she fell out of the helicopter 154 00:10:38,312 --> 00:10:41,315 Good thing we're making these women orgasm Otherwise, they are miserable 155 00:10:49,824 --> 00:10:51,951 "The number you called is blocked" 156 00:10:59,375 --> 00:11:02,378 - What does that mean according to you? - I don't know 157 00:11:02,587 --> 00:11:06,048 (Johnny) What if the school finds out? Order line for sexual contacts 158 00:11:06,215 --> 00:11:11,095 - And you blocked the number, and we were in trouble? - Let's not rush, it's probably not a big deal 159 00:11:13,431 --> 00:11:16,726 Everyone, shut up and listen 160 00:11:16,893 --> 00:11:19,729 I heard that there is a student in this school 161 00:11:19,896 --> 00:11:24,650 He made a series of very inappropriate calls To a telephone line for adults 162 00:11:24,817 --> 00:11:27,278 They used a phone on school property 163 00:11:27,445 --> 00:11:31,032 We have received it A bill of approximately five thousand dollars 164 00:11:33,451 --> 00:11:34,827 Shut up 165 00:11:35,453 --> 00:11:39,957 This is a dangerous and obscene violation of school policy 166 00:11:40,249 --> 00:11:47,423 I promise you that whoever did this will be arrested He will bear financial responsibility and will be fired 167 00:11:47,757 --> 00:11:54,889 We are conducting a full investigation led by the Board of Education In Massachusetts, Mr. Lawrence. 168 00:12:03,231 --> 00:12:09,904 My name is Avery Lawrence. Deputy Inspector General of the Board of Education 169 00:12:10,321 --> 00:12:15,993 Who made these calls? It would be easier to admit now 170 00:12:21,457 --> 00:12:25,920 Well, we'll do it the hard way But know this 171 00:12:26,087 --> 00:12:30,549 According to statistics, arrests are made For most people who masturbate in the first 48 hours 172 00:12:39,977 --> 00:12:45,274 - Teddy, what are we going to do? It will destroy our lives - Let's keep calm 173 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:49,069 They have no idea that we are the perpetrators If we wait, they will eventually give up 174 00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:51,822 - Oh my God, did you hear what happened? - What? 175 00:12:51,947 --> 00:12:55,367 Principal Bernard said they canceled the day off For final year students to catch masturbators 176 00:12:55,534 --> 00:12:57,828 -Oh my God - Who did that? 177 00:12:57,953 --> 00:13:00,956 Who is the fool? Who called the sex call line? 178 00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:03,750 Listen, you fools 179 00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:06,503 We waited four years for one day to disappear About school 180 00:13:06,670 --> 00:13:11,591 In a manner approved by the Board of Education In (Massachusetts) and included in the curriculum 181 00:13:11,717 --> 00:13:14,845 One of the corrupt people ruined the whole thing 182 00:13:15,053 --> 00:13:19,683 Who is he? Who made the calls? Show your fucking face 183 00:13:19,850 --> 00:13:23,020 -You can't hide from us -We will find you, masturbator 184 00:13:23,145 --> 00:13:24,604 Then, you are dead 185 00:13:24,730 --> 00:13:26,565 Kill the masturbator 186 00:13:26,690 --> 00:13:32,571 Kill the masturbator, kill the masturbator Kill the masturbator 187 00:13:32,696 --> 00:13:36,491 - "The Masturbator" - Kill the masturbator, kill the masturbator 188 00:13:50,505 --> 00:13:56,011 I don't understand what Lyle Lovett is seeing. In (Julia Roberts) 189 00:13:56,178 --> 00:13:59,514 -He can have any living woman - What? 190 00:13:59,681 --> 00:14:04,394 He must calm down and not get carried away In the hectic race of Hollywood 191 00:14:06,271 --> 00:14:11,902 What is this? A meeting of the most beautiful residents of the house? I must fit in with you 192 00:14:12,778 --> 00:14:15,906 Bernie, you're so funny 193 00:14:16,031 --> 00:14:20,786 I still think you should get it On the doll moving lips, you will be funny with her 194 00:14:21,620 --> 00:14:27,793 Do you mind if I talk to Blair alone? - Of course, of course 195 00:14:27,918 --> 00:14:31,505 I have to go and cut the fruit For the jelly we'll eat tonight 196 00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:34,800 - It will be a green evening - No, Aunt Suze, stay 197 00:14:35,425 --> 00:14:37,552 Anything you want to say to me, you can say it in front of her 198 00:14:40,263 --> 00:14:43,100 Well, so be it 199 00:14:46,978 --> 00:14:49,898 Your mother didn't jump out of the car on the highway 200 00:14:52,192 --> 00:14:53,568 You left me 201 00:14:54,528 --> 00:14:57,072 Because of a bunch of things that weren't my fault 202 00:14:57,239 --> 00:15:02,202 I don't care why, you're an aggressive alcoholic Without treatment, he needs help 203 00:15:02,411 --> 00:15:06,123 And until you get it, we have nothing to say to each other 204 00:15:06,289 --> 00:15:11,211 Blair, this time is different Come home with me and I'll prove it to you 205 00:15:11,336 --> 00:15:15,340 - Go home? - Yes, I want you to come back and live with me, Blair. 206 00:15:15,507 --> 00:15:20,720 -You mean for me to come back and cook your damned meals? - Well, well, well 207 00:15:21,596 --> 00:15:23,640 I see I have to win you back 208 00:15:24,766 --> 00:15:27,894 But I will, you'll see 209 00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:36,069 Blair, maybe you should give him a second chance 210 00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:42,701 According to People magazine Jerry Seinfeld reconciled with his daughter, wow 211 00:15:51,543 --> 00:15:53,587 Andrew, Polly, what happened there? 212 00:15:53,712 --> 00:15:56,214 Mr. Lawrence interrogates the students Bilaterally 213 00:15:56,339 --> 00:16:00,093 - Because he thinks there is a group of masturbators - Really? This is what he does? 214 00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:03,305 He says it's a slanderous angle There must be a second shooter 215 00:16:03,472 --> 00:16:05,056 I don't ejaculate 216 00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:10,395 Bear, boy, your turn 217 00:16:13,315 --> 00:16:14,691 Each one individually 218 00:16:17,319 --> 00:16:23,492 Tuesday 20 September from 10:06 Until 10:27 a.m., where were you? 219 00:16:23,617 --> 00:16:24,993 In the study hall 220 00:16:27,954 --> 00:16:33,585 I get it, unstructured time Usually, the professor does not notice your absence 221 00:16:33,752 --> 00:16:39,424 This is a good opportunity to sneak in a cigarette You know, Hat Pat? 222 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:46,473 John, do you want a cigarette, Hat Butt? Are you jealous because you see me enjoying it? 223 00:16:47,057 --> 00:16:51,019 Do you want to get On a "Hat Butt" cigarette like mine? 224 00:16:51,186 --> 00:16:53,313 Shouldn't there be another adult here? 225 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:57,734 Your friends in the other room blamed you for the crimes So stop procrastinating 226 00:16:57,859 --> 00:17:00,403 If you confess, I will help you evade 227 00:17:00,529 --> 00:17:05,242 I don't know you were intentional Saying things related to masturbation or... 228 00:17:05,367 --> 00:17:08,328 If you know the perpetrator, reveal the names 229 00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:12,332 -The Board of Education will reward you - How? 230 00:17:12,457 --> 00:17:14,709 With unimaginable things 231 00:17:14,918 --> 00:17:19,589 Like a pencil with an eraser Star-shaped 232 00:17:20,423 --> 00:17:22,634 Read what is written on the pencil side 233 00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:29,391 - wrote the star student - The star student 234 00:17:29,599 --> 00:17:31,518 We requested access to communications recordings 235 00:17:31,685 --> 00:17:36,648 When it arrives, we will broadcast it over the school pager Unless you confess, now 236 00:17:36,815 --> 00:17:39,067 -You can't do this, Mr. Lawrence. - Of course, I can 237 00:17:39,234 --> 00:17:44,239 No, no, you can't, the pager is broken Everything in school is broken 238 00:17:44,406 --> 00:17:51,871 But a fool decided to make a school You pay a $5,000 phone bill 239 00:17:52,455 --> 00:17:54,791 Who cares if everything is broken? 240 00:17:55,125 --> 00:17:57,961 Who cares if a chair is broken? 241 00:17:59,254 --> 00:18:03,842 Who cares if the whole system is broken? 242 00:18:09,097 --> 00:18:13,685 Can you not tell anyone what you did? I don't have to break any more chairs 243 00:18:13,977 --> 00:18:15,353 Okay 244 00:18:16,313 --> 00:18:18,189 Can you help me put it back together? 245 00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:26,031 Please, Susan, prepare quickly Hot water bath 246 00:18:26,197 --> 00:18:29,242 I feel like someone grilled the hairbrush Microwaved and stuck it in my ass 247 00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:32,454 Dr. Larson warned you not to push too hard 248 00:18:34,706 --> 00:18:36,082 Bath time 249 00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:39,502 - I got you again, you loser - Damn 250 00:18:39,753 --> 00:18:41,171 You idiot 251 00:18:43,506 --> 00:18:47,385 Holy shit, you're dead I'll catch you on this, Bernie, come back 252 00:18:47,552 --> 00:18:49,095 I'll catch you on that 253 00:18:52,557 --> 00:18:56,227 Look at my little brother And his butt is showing, it looks like Winnie the Pooh. 254 00:18:56,394 --> 00:19:01,483 Where is Ted? Hi Ted, this is your friend Winnie the Pooh is waiting for you to kick him on the ass 255 00:19:01,650 --> 00:19:04,194 - I'll kill you for that - No, you won't 256 00:19:05,236 --> 00:19:08,114 - You asshole, put me down - Fuck you 257 00:19:09,741 --> 00:19:13,703 - What's going on here? - (Blair) Do you want to buy an ass? 258 00:19:13,870 --> 00:19:16,665 -Put me down (Bernie) - What? Susan wanted me to buy a doll 259 00:19:16,790 --> 00:19:20,001 And I got Sammy Davis Jr. With one brown eye 260 00:19:20,126 --> 00:19:22,712 Oh, my God, put it down - What? We're playing rough 261 00:19:22,879 --> 00:19:26,174 You're playing rough, not him You are a bully 262 00:19:26,341 --> 00:19:29,469 - Matty, am I bullying you? - No, we're kidding, Blair. 263 00:19:29,594 --> 00:19:32,263 - Damn it, put him down - Watch your words 264 00:19:32,389 --> 00:19:35,350 - Well, so be it, darn it - Okay 265 00:19:35,767 --> 00:19:38,520 I really need a hemorrhoid bath 266 00:19:39,270 --> 00:19:41,856 Okay, go fix your ass, Candyman. 267 00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:45,944 - Oh, go wash your hands - Why? He's my brother 268 00:19:46,111 --> 00:19:47,862 Yes, I am his brother 269 00:19:52,826 --> 00:19:54,869 Lawrence knows we're the ones doing it I'm sure of it 270 00:19:55,036 --> 00:19:58,206 We can't afford five thousand dollars, what are we going to do? 271 00:19:58,373 --> 00:20:02,293 We're going to jail, that's what's going to happen Oh, we'd be embarrassed 272 00:20:03,628 --> 00:20:07,257 We must find a way out The guard will shoot us in the prison yard 273 00:20:07,424 --> 00:20:10,927 Don't worry, Johnny, I was digging a hole At the wall six months ago 274 00:20:11,094 --> 00:20:12,512 We can escape through it 275 00:20:14,347 --> 00:20:16,725 - What is this? - Yes, now we can get out of here 276 00:20:16,850 --> 00:20:18,935 - Did you say you dug it for us? - Yes 277 00:20:19,102 --> 00:20:22,605 - Don't help me, you dug it for yourself - No, it's ours 278 00:20:22,731 --> 00:20:25,650 -It's tailored to your shape perfectly - No, it's not 279 00:20:25,775 --> 00:20:27,277 She has two ears 280 00:20:29,571 --> 00:20:34,409 Okay, young men You will come with me, the girls will have fun with you 281 00:20:35,952 --> 00:20:37,328 Goodbye 282 00:20:38,747 --> 00:20:40,457 - Hey, I found it - What? 283 00:20:40,582 --> 00:20:42,500 We'll carry out the Shawshank plan. 284 00:20:42,625 --> 00:20:45,754 How will the sexual relationship be resolved? Off camera problem? 285 00:20:45,879 --> 00:20:50,258 No, we do what Andy Dufresne did. We invent an imaginary person 286 00:20:50,425 --> 00:20:53,595 - An imaginary student confesses to the crime - Exactly 287 00:20:53,762 --> 00:20:56,055 This is the solution, but it will take planning 288 00:20:56,222 --> 00:20:58,308 -We should get some sleep - True 289 00:21:00,143 --> 00:21:05,398 Teddy, we're together, right? You will never betray me? 290 00:21:05,523 --> 00:21:07,317 No, never, Johnny. 291 00:21:21,977 --> 00:21:26,064 We know the masturbator's name His name is Jeremy Schwarzfinger. 292 00:21:26,195 --> 00:21:28,823 Who is Jeremy Schwarzfinger? 293 00:21:28,990 --> 00:21:32,201 Just the worst student He attended John Hancock High School 294 00:21:32,368 --> 00:21:35,580 Three years ago Jeremy ruined the entire school 295 00:21:35,747 --> 00:21:38,207 Do you see? Look at this office 296 00:21:46,215 --> 00:21:49,469 - You said Jeremy did it three years ago - True 297 00:21:49,594 --> 00:21:53,473 - These are new inscriptions - How do you know? 298 00:21:53,598 --> 00:21:56,100 Because it is in the shape of the Sublime logo. 299 00:21:56,267 --> 00:22:00,396 And no one listened in Fremenham. To Sublime before 1992 300 00:22:00,521 --> 00:22:04,984 When their first recorded album was released In the Studio (Forty Ounce to Freedom) Listings 301 00:22:05,234 --> 00:22:06,736 Do you know my opinion? 302 00:22:06,903 --> 00:22:14,035 I think you mentioned that moments before I came in With the knife in your back pocket 303 00:22:14,619 --> 00:22:18,206 Do you feel the sensation in your throat? 304 00:22:19,457 --> 00:22:22,126 This rope is tightening 305 00:22:27,006 --> 00:22:29,217 Why did you have to choose the Sublime logo? 306 00:22:29,342 --> 00:22:31,385 I don't know, I thought maybe, Jeremy. He loves Sublime 307 00:22:31,511 --> 00:22:34,472 - Do you have a back story for this student? - No, no 308 00:22:34,597 --> 00:22:37,725 - (Teddy) Wait a minute, you might have something - What? 309 00:22:37,850 --> 00:22:42,146 We give Jeremy a back story Detailed school file on paper 310 00:22:42,271 --> 00:22:45,191 We make it so detailed that it is impossible to deny 311 00:22:45,441 --> 00:22:50,029 I don't just want to know this guy's name But what he threw up for breakfast 312 00:22:50,196 --> 00:22:52,532 -Jizz for breakfast? -You understand what I mean 313 00:22:52,657 --> 00:22:56,828 No, I don't And I don't think I still want to be your friend 314 00:23:01,332 --> 00:23:04,418 - Well, what? -Guess what this is 315 00:23:05,086 --> 00:23:07,672 Wild Turkey Drink Box What are you going to drink before bed tonight? 316 00:23:07,797 --> 00:23:09,173 Even better than that 317 00:23:12,134 --> 00:23:14,679 -What do you think? - What is this? 318 00:23:14,804 --> 00:23:19,725 A dollhouse, you always wanted one when you were a kid I spent all night building it 319 00:23:19,851 --> 00:23:22,645 Thanks, I've always wanted tetanus 320 00:23:23,980 --> 00:23:31,404 Well I'm the villain, no matter what I do it's not good enough I never deserve forgiveness 321 00:23:31,571 --> 00:23:38,202 - Well, well, that's a nice gesture, thanks - This is a good start 322 00:23:38,536 --> 00:23:42,123 Come home with me If you do, I know your mother will too 323 00:23:42,790 --> 00:23:50,339 - Wait, that's what it is? Get my mom back? - Yes, let's be a family again 324 00:23:50,506 --> 00:23:52,967 That's all I want, Blair, I swear 325 00:23:56,137 --> 00:24:00,141 - I'll think about it, on one condition -Anything 326 00:24:00,433 --> 00:24:05,271 Don't be too hard on Matty. I don't like the way you treat him 327 00:24:05,396 --> 00:24:07,940 I don't want to see his ass again 328 00:24:08,316 --> 00:24:11,986 -I will show more respect towards my little brother - Thank you 329 00:24:14,196 --> 00:24:15,781 "Management" 330 00:24:40,222 --> 00:24:41,599 Fuck 331 00:25:06,332 --> 00:25:08,209 - What are you doing here? -We... 332 00:25:08,334 --> 00:25:09,710 - No, no, no - Why... 333 00:25:09,835 --> 00:25:12,588 - Mr. Lawrence, I haven't done anything in my life - We were just messing around 334 00:25:12,713 --> 00:25:15,007 - Talk We found Jeremy's file. 335 00:25:15,132 --> 00:25:17,385 The evil disciple who actually exists 336 00:25:17,510 --> 00:25:21,305 All the details about it are here He had a full mustache as a teenager 337 00:25:21,430 --> 00:25:22,974 He's very evil, see 338 00:25:23,099 --> 00:25:26,519 I don't have to look Because I don't think Jeremy exists 339 00:25:26,644 --> 00:25:29,647 I think you two had sexual contact 340 00:25:32,066 --> 00:25:33,567 Do you know what this is? 341 00:25:33,693 --> 00:25:37,738 - Don't they put pizza on it in the oven? - This is a masturbator's racket 342 00:25:37,905 --> 00:25:39,865 Do they put pizza on it? 343 00:25:40,032 --> 00:25:44,120 Used to beat up sinners at Holy Child School. Catholicism in Newburyport 344 00:25:44,286 --> 00:25:50,710 And when I prove that you two made contact You will know the pain of the racket 345 00:25:51,919 --> 00:25:53,504 I'm watching you both 346 00:26:04,098 --> 00:26:09,645 We'll catch them, Beatrice, we'll catch them 347 00:26:10,521 --> 00:26:14,984 -What will we do now? We will be arrested -We have to make Jeremy real 348 00:26:15,109 --> 00:26:16,485 How? 349 00:26:16,610 --> 00:26:20,573 Everyone at school should see it with their own eyes I have an idea 350 00:26:25,202 --> 00:26:29,582 - (Susan), the potato and meat dish is amazing - Thanks, Bernie. 351 00:26:29,707 --> 00:26:33,711 I'll raise my glass, Blair and I have a big announcement 352 00:26:33,961 --> 00:26:36,255 - Really? - Blair is coming home 353 00:26:36,422 --> 00:26:38,257 - This is special - No one told me 354 00:26:38,382 --> 00:26:40,134 - I didn't know that I should know 355 00:26:40,259 --> 00:26:42,970 There's no need to feel shy I'm nervous, I'm going to get angry 356 00:26:43,095 --> 00:26:45,473 Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, in that order 357 00:26:45,598 --> 00:26:49,560 Well, wait, wait, I haven't made any decisions yet 358 00:26:49,685 --> 00:26:53,481 I'm thinking about going home, but I haven't decided anything 359 00:26:53,606 --> 00:26:55,357 Please, know that you agree 360 00:26:55,483 --> 00:26:59,070 And you should watch out, Matty, I might take Susan with me, too 361 00:27:00,029 --> 00:27:01,405 Come on 362 00:27:01,530 --> 00:27:05,951 - (Susan) Be honest, you were interested in me first - (Bernie) Stop 363 00:27:06,077 --> 00:27:09,413 - Bernie, keep it to yourself - That's right 364 00:27:09,538 --> 00:27:13,959 Johnny, if you stay with Susan for another ten minutes... Behind the pager, I would have been your father 365 00:27:15,211 --> 00:27:16,712 Apologize to her 366 00:27:17,338 --> 00:27:20,257 You heard me, apologize to Susan immediately 367 00:27:20,382 --> 00:27:24,011 And then apologize to Matty for everything you did Since your arrival 368 00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:26,972 We're two brothers, Blair. We tease each other 369 00:27:27,139 --> 00:27:31,310 That's not it, this is going one way And you're a stupid bully 370 00:27:31,435 --> 00:27:33,562 - Please, Blair. - What a shame 371 00:27:33,687 --> 00:27:35,147 We're just trying to laugh 372 00:27:35,272 --> 00:27:38,275 Well, you don't want to apologize? Get out of here 373 00:27:38,442 --> 00:27:42,988 - Stop, he's just messing around - Yes, there is no need to be nervous, it was a joke 374 00:27:43,114 --> 00:27:44,490 Fuck 375 00:27:47,118 --> 00:27:48,494 Fuck 376 00:27:48,786 --> 00:27:51,956 Damn, what's wrong with you? 377 00:27:52,081 --> 00:27:56,544 Calm down, Dad, we're just playing rough You know, we tease each other 378 00:27:56,669 --> 00:27:58,546 Do you know Blair? Fuck you 379 00:27:58,712 --> 00:28:01,048 I won't let you go home I have withdrawn the invitation 380 00:28:01,173 --> 00:28:05,678 You're crazy, like your mother, damn it 381 00:28:06,470 --> 00:28:08,139 Bernie, wait 382 00:28:13,811 --> 00:28:16,897 Matty, in what order do you sleep with girls? Friends series? 383 00:28:24,989 --> 00:28:28,409 Everyone, Jeremy's out Go out and see what he'll do 384 00:28:28,534 --> 00:28:29,910 Who? 385 00:28:30,035 --> 00:28:35,249 Jeremy, the evil young man who was a student here He loved Sublime even before 1992 386 00:28:35,374 --> 00:28:36,750 Okay 387 00:28:36,876 --> 00:28:39,753 Jeremy's going to jump on his BMX bike. He will jump over three cars 388 00:28:39,879 --> 00:28:43,174 Three cars, yes, three cars Go out and see Jeremy. 389 00:28:51,891 --> 00:28:53,684 There he is, there he is, Jeremy. 390 00:28:59,231 --> 00:29:03,235 I can't believe the guy we go to school with He makes this amazing leap 391 00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:08,199 Let's chant his name, Jeremy. (Jeremy) (Jeremy) 392 00:29:08,324 --> 00:29:12,328 (Jeremy), (Jeremy), (Jeremy) 393 00:29:25,007 --> 00:29:29,178 Wow 394 00:29:32,223 --> 00:29:34,558 I've known Jeremy for many years We are very close 395 00:29:34,683 --> 00:29:36,560 I've known him longer than you He is my good friend 396 00:29:36,685 --> 00:29:38,437 I've been dating Jeremy since sixth grade 397 00:29:38,562 --> 00:29:41,523 Jeremy's parents are rich They're taking us to Europe this summer 398 00:29:41,690 --> 00:29:44,360 Jeremy performed oral sex on me when... I spent the night with him and he asked me not to tell anyone 399 00:29:48,072 --> 00:29:54,578 Hello everyone, I was in the bathroom taking a shower I am tired today, as you can see 400 00:29:54,745 --> 00:29:56,121 What's going on here? 401 00:29:56,247 --> 00:29:59,917 Hi, John, Jeremy. The guy we go to school with took a big leap 402 00:30:00,084 --> 00:30:02,544 And everyone says that he had an intimate relationship with him 403 00:30:02,711 --> 00:30:07,967 That's weird, I ran into Jeremy this morning He gave me this letter in case he died 404 00:30:12,721 --> 00:30:18,894 For those who are interested, I called the sex line (1900 hat baht) 405 00:30:19,061 --> 00:30:20,896 I can't live with shame 406 00:30:21,021 --> 00:30:27,444 I wanted to do one last amazing thing, and then disappear 407 00:30:27,611 --> 00:30:30,447 Sincerely, Jeremy Schwarzfinger 408 00:30:32,366 --> 00:30:35,995 - Looks like I owe you both an apology - Yes, you were a real despicable person 409 00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:39,164 And you turned out to be wrong in front of the whole school 410 00:30:39,790 --> 00:30:46,380 I will find you, Jeremy. If it takes my whole life, I will find you 411 00:30:47,756 --> 00:30:49,133 And I will kill you 412 00:30:53,262 --> 00:30:55,681 Teddy, looks like we succeeded 413 00:31:03,605 --> 00:31:08,068 “Do you understand why your mother is concerned? And your sister feels this way? 414 00:31:08,235 --> 00:31:11,780 “Yes, they are worried about me But I am mature and I have to learn from my experiences.” 415 00:31:11,905 --> 00:31:14,408 - Hello - Hello 416 00:31:15,117 --> 00:31:17,077 - Beer? - Of course 417 00:31:19,830 --> 00:31:21,957 “Do you respect yourself?” - "Yes" 418 00:31:22,124 --> 00:31:25,085 “If you wear these clothes You don't respect yourself because... 419 00:31:27,212 --> 00:31:29,631 “I have two daughters, aged 22 and 30.” 420 00:31:29,798 --> 00:31:33,969 I still think about the look on my brother's face When I threw a plate of meat and potatoes at him 421 00:31:35,486 --> 00:31:37,154 It was a good hit 422 00:31:38,098 --> 00:31:43,604 - I was going to teach him a lesson, but you beat me to it - Yes 423 00:31:43,771 --> 00:31:48,192 Bennett's family, right? We like messing with each other, don't we? 424 00:31:48,692 --> 00:31:50,069 Without a doubt 425 00:31:50,194 --> 00:31:53,906 “We will meet a mother who says her daughter "She dresses and acts like a bad girl." 426 00:31:54,578 --> 00:31:56,872 - (Matty) - Yes 427 00:31:58,401 --> 00:31:59,778 I'm glad I'm here 428 00:32:05,476 --> 00:32:07,478 Listen, have you heard of this student, Jeremy? 429 00:32:07,641 --> 00:33:10,671 .Ra