1 00:00:05,220 --> 00:00:07,970 [man] Hey! 2 00:00:07,970 --> 00:00:10,220 Hey. 3 00:00:10,220 --> 00:00:12,095 For those of you who watched last week 4 00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:13,762 and don't have drug-induced brain damage, 5 00:00:13,762 --> 00:00:15,053 you can skip the next 30 seconds. 6 00:00:15,053 --> 00:00:16,720 You don't have to watch that shit. 7 00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:18,553 - [man shouts] - The rest of you losers... 8 00:00:18,553 --> 00:00:20,011 here you go. 9 00:00:20,011 --> 00:00:21,845 Sparky, Shelly. Shelly, Sparky. 10 00:00:21,845 --> 00:00:22,845 She's your boss. 11 00:00:22,845 --> 00:00:25,220 Well, vice boss. 12 00:00:25,220 --> 00:00:27,095 I made a little arrangement with Larry. 13 00:00:27,095 --> 00:00:29,053 - So you're mine now. - [Mickey] You were right. 14 00:00:29,053 --> 00:00:30,261 We got to kill her. 15 00:00:30,261 --> 00:00:31,595 If you want Todd, 16 00:00:31,595 --> 00:00:32,512 you're gonna have to go through me. 17 00:00:32,512 --> 00:00:34,470 His manager. That's who. 18 00:00:34,470 --> 00:00:36,220 [Claudia] Do you want to go upstairs? 19 00:00:36,220 --> 00:00:37,970 We could kick off these heels, 20 00:00:37,970 --> 00:00:39,804 raid the minibar, and check out the view. 21 00:00:39,804 --> 00:00:42,720 I left you a little something on the nightstand. 22 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:44,970 ♪ rock music ♪ 23 00:00:44,970 --> 00:00:46,553 [Carl] Saw an old lady get shot 24 00:00:46,553 --> 00:00:49,053 at the Ashcroft bus stop last night. 25 00:00:49,053 --> 00:00:50,136 You know, the streetlights were out. 26 00:00:50,136 --> 00:00:52,720 You did a good thing, Citizen Carl. 27 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:53,762 Got involved. 28 00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:55,970 Made a change. 29 00:00:55,970 --> 00:00:57,929 Do you want to join me? 30 00:00:57,929 --> 00:00:59,679 - Faye Donahue. - Frank Gallagher. 31 00:00:59,679 --> 00:01:01,929 Let's go to my place and eat this Greek food. 32 00:01:01,929 --> 00:01:03,095 You live in your car? 33 00:01:03,095 --> 00:01:04,595 Indeed I do. 34 00:01:11,762 --> 00:01:14,470 ♪ rock music ♪ 35 00:01:14,470 --> 00:01:18,804 ♪♪♪ 36 00:01:18,804 --> 00:01:21,970 ♪ Think of all the luck you got ♪ 37 00:01:21,970 --> 00:01:25,095 ♪ Know that it's not for naught ♪ 38 00:01:25,095 --> 00:01:28,220 ♪ You were beaming once before ♪ 39 00:01:28,220 --> 00:01:32,428 ♪ But it's not like that anymore ♪ 40 00:01:32,428 --> 00:01:35,845 ♪ What is this downside ♪ 41 00:01:35,845 --> 00:01:39,345 ♪ That you speak of? ♪ 42 00:01:39,345 --> 00:01:41,470 ♪ What is this feeling ♪ 43 00:01:41,470 --> 00:01:46,011 ♪ You're so sure of? ♪ 44 00:01:46,011 --> 00:01:51,053 ♪♪♪ 45 00:01:52,970 --> 00:01:56,637 ♪ Round up the friends you got ♪ 46 00:01:56,637 --> 00:01:59,553 ♪ Know that they're not for naught ♪ 47 00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:03,095 ♪ You were willing once before ♪ 48 00:02:03,095 --> 00:02:06,929 ♪ But it's not like that anymore ♪ 49 00:02:06,929 --> 00:02:10,220 ♪ What is this downside ♪ 50 00:02:10,220 --> 00:02:13,929 ♪ That you speak of? ♪ 51 00:02:13,929 --> 00:02:16,053 ♪ What is this feeling ♪ 52 00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:19,470 ♪ You're so sure of? ♪ 53 00:02:20,804 --> 00:02:23,553 ♪ pounding rock music ♪ 54 00:02:23,553 --> 00:02:28,762 ♪♪♪ 55 00:02:28,762 --> 00:02:31,512 [Paula whistling idly] 56 00:02:37,553 --> 00:02:40,095 [toilet flushes] 57 00:02:43,553 --> 00:02:45,345 [coughs] 58 00:02:45,345 --> 00:02:47,053 [gasps] 59 00:02:47,053 --> 00:02:48,804 You? 60 00:02:48,804 --> 00:02:50,512 What the fuck are you doing here? 61 00:02:50,512 --> 00:02:52,637 Hey, hey, what the fuck, man? Hey! 62 00:02:54,845 --> 00:02:56,387 [body thuds] 63 00:02:56,387 --> 00:02:58,845 ♪♪♪ 64 00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:02,011 [indistinct shouting] 65 00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:07,345 [both sigh happily] 66 00:03:08,637 --> 00:03:11,387 Good morning. 67 00:03:11,387 --> 00:03:12,595 Where--where's Fred? 68 00:03:12,595 --> 00:03:14,595 He passed out while nursing. 69 00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:16,595 We've got six to eight minutes tops. 70 00:03:16,595 --> 00:03:18,220 Mm. 71 00:03:18,220 --> 00:03:20,345 [moans softly] 72 00:03:20,345 --> 00:03:21,720 Oh, and one of us has to go to the store today 73 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:23,261 and get more diaper cream 74 00:03:23,261 --> 00:03:24,303 'cause his rash is now halfway up his back. 75 00:03:24,303 --> 00:03:25,553 Oh, yeah. Talk dirty to me. 76 00:03:25,553 --> 00:03:27,053 [laughs] 77 00:03:27,053 --> 00:03:30,178 ♪♪♪ 78 00:03:30,178 --> 00:03:32,470 Wait. 79 00:03:32,470 --> 00:03:33,845 Wait. You said it's worse than yesterday. 80 00:03:33,845 --> 00:03:36,011 What? 81 00:03:36,011 --> 00:03:37,804 Fred's rash. 82 00:03:37,804 --> 00:03:40,804 Uh, no, it's fine. 83 00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:43,929 Hey. No. His ass is fine. 84 00:03:43,929 --> 00:03:46,428 And your ass is fine. 85 00:03:46,428 --> 00:03:48,637 [giggles] 86 00:03:48,637 --> 00:03:53,887 ♪♪♪ 87 00:03:53,887 --> 00:03:55,261 Yeah. It's just--sorry. 88 00:03:55,261 --> 00:03:57,220 It's just, the new daycare says 89 00:03:57,220 --> 00:03:59,720 they can't take him if he's sick. 90 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:01,512 It's diaper rash. 91 00:04:01,512 --> 00:04:04,595 It's not the bubonic plague. All babies have diaper rash. 92 00:04:04,595 --> 00:04:06,512 - [Lip] Okay. - [Tami giggles] 93 00:04:06,512 --> 00:04:07,804 Mm. 94 00:04:07,804 --> 00:04:10,553 ♪♪♪ 95 00:04:10,553 --> 00:04:12,428 Mm, maybe we should get it checked out, though. 96 00:04:12,428 --> 00:04:14,428 - [groaning] Lip. - You know? Yeah. 97 00:04:14,428 --> 00:04:17,095 Lip, he's gonna be at daycare for four hours total. 98 00:04:17,095 --> 00:04:19,387 - [Lip sighs] - Get a grip. 99 00:04:19,387 --> 00:04:21,220 Look, we don't have a choice. You want to-- 100 00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:23,220 Look at my chart. 101 00:04:23,220 --> 00:04:26,303 [Lip] Yeah, but it's his first day. 102 00:04:26,303 --> 00:04:28,679 [Tami] You've got AA. Then you're at work till four. 103 00:04:28,679 --> 00:04:30,345 I'm at the salon at noon. 104 00:04:30,345 --> 00:04:33,345 So there's a four-hour gap in child care. 105 00:04:33,345 --> 00:04:35,887 Yeah. So Brad'll let me out of work early. 106 00:04:35,887 --> 00:04:37,679 We need the cash. 107 00:04:37,679 --> 00:04:39,720 [sighs] Well... 108 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:42,845 I mean, we need the cash so we can afford daycare. 109 00:04:42,845 --> 00:04:45,345 Doesn't that seem a little ass-backwards? 110 00:04:45,345 --> 00:04:46,804 No. 111 00:04:46,804 --> 00:04:48,637 Ass-backwards is the Gallagher method, 112 00:04:48,637 --> 00:04:51,345 where the next-oldest kid just keeps kind of a vague eye 113 00:04:51,345 --> 00:04:52,470 on the rest of the herd. 114 00:04:52,470 --> 00:04:54,303 Well, it's free. 115 00:04:54,303 --> 00:04:55,762 Liam is ten. 116 00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:57,136 He's not watching our baby. 117 00:04:57,136 --> 00:04:58,637 Liam? 118 00:04:58,637 --> 00:05:00,136 I was gonna say Franny. 119 00:05:00,136 --> 00:05:03,804 - [laughing] Oh, Franny? - Mm-hmm. 120 00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,178 [Fred fusses, cries] 121 00:05:05,178 --> 00:05:07,387 - [groaning] No. - Fuck. 122 00:05:07,387 --> 00:05:11,512 [Fred continues crying] 123 00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:13,011 ...get some fuckin' flapjacks. 124 00:05:13,011 --> 00:05:15,345 Ian Gallagher? Mikhailo Milkovich? 125 00:05:18,929 --> 00:05:22,804 [fence rattling] 126 00:05:22,804 --> 00:05:25,178 Yeah, I'm Ian Gallagher. Can I help you, Officer? 127 00:05:25,178 --> 00:05:26,470 Got some bad news for you. 128 00:05:26,470 --> 00:05:28,095 Your PO was found dead this morning. 129 00:05:28,095 --> 00:05:29,303 Paula's dead? 130 00:05:29,303 --> 00:05:31,011 Fell out of a third-floor window. 131 00:05:31,011 --> 00:05:33,053 Detectives want you both to come down to the station today, 132 00:05:33,053 --> 00:05:34,512 make statements. 133 00:05:34,512 --> 00:05:35,804 Why? 134 00:05:35,804 --> 00:05:37,679 We don't know anything about that. 135 00:05:37,679 --> 00:05:40,220 Whenever a PO dies, detectives interview all the parolees, 136 00:05:40,220 --> 00:05:41,720 especially if the death was suspicious. 137 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:43,095 Suspicious? 138 00:05:43,095 --> 00:05:45,095 Well, people usually open a window 139 00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:46,970 before they jump out it. 140 00:05:46,970 --> 00:05:48,845 See you at the station. 141 00:05:48,845 --> 00:05:50,804 Bring Milkovich. 142 00:05:50,804 --> 00:05:53,679 [car door opens, closes] 143 00:05:53,679 --> 00:05:54,720 Good. 144 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:56,553 Go. Get your backpacks. 145 00:05:56,553 --> 00:05:58,720 - Get your book, Amy. - [door opens, closes] 146 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:01,387 Let's go! Let's go, people! 147 00:06:01,387 --> 00:06:03,762 Kev, get dressed! We leave in three. 148 00:06:03,762 --> 00:06:05,929 V, look at this. 149 00:06:05,929 --> 00:06:07,303 - What is it? - [Kev] IRS. 150 00:06:07,303 --> 00:06:08,929 Oh, no! 151 00:06:08,929 --> 00:06:10,887 Sweet baby Jesus. No, no, no, no. 152 00:06:10,887 --> 00:06:12,261 [Kev] Our day just got shitty. 153 00:06:12,261 --> 00:06:13,887 Did we not pay our taxes on time? 154 00:06:13,887 --> 00:06:15,303 Are you asking me? 155 00:06:15,303 --> 00:06:16,804 How do I know? You do the taxes. 156 00:06:16,804 --> 00:06:18,095 No, I know--I know-- I know we did. 157 00:06:18,095 --> 00:06:19,428 I-I paid the check, 158 00:06:19,428 --> 00:06:21,929 and I did the amend B-59X whatever. 159 00:06:21,929 --> 00:06:23,553 I know I paid it. 160 00:06:23,553 --> 00:06:25,887 What do you want me to do? Flush it? Burn it? 161 00:06:25,887 --> 00:06:28,053 No. We got to face it head-on. 162 00:06:28,053 --> 00:06:29,428 Hold Mommy's hand, girls. 163 00:06:29,428 --> 00:06:31,345 - [paper rustles] - [Kev sighs] 164 00:06:34,136 --> 00:06:36,970 No way. A check for $825? 165 00:06:36,970 --> 00:06:38,720 $825? 166 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:41,261 What? Give me that. 167 00:06:41,261 --> 00:06:42,512 [Kev gasps] 168 00:06:42,512 --> 00:06:45,929 "Tax credit," blah, blah, blah. 169 00:06:45,929 --> 00:06:47,970 From when I worked at the nursing home? 170 00:06:47,970 --> 00:06:50,011 I vote Jet Ski. 171 00:06:50,011 --> 00:06:51,720 And I vote no! 172 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:54,303 Come on, girls. We got to go to school. 173 00:06:54,303 --> 00:06:56,178 - Kev, you coming? - [breathlessly] Yeah. 174 00:06:56,178 --> 00:06:57,762 - Kev! - Shh. 175 00:06:57,762 --> 00:07:01,720 - Come on, girls. - Let me have this. 176 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:03,929 - [door closes] - [exhales deeply] 177 00:07:03,929 --> 00:07:07,595 ♪♪♪ 178 00:07:09,053 --> 00:07:10,053 Mickey? 179 00:07:11,512 --> 00:07:13,762 Mickey! Hey, come on out. Cops are gone. 180 00:07:16,595 --> 00:07:18,428 The fuck they want? 181 00:07:18,428 --> 00:07:20,679 Paula's dead. 182 00:07:20,679 --> 00:07:23,637 [chuckling] No shit. Is it Christmas? 183 00:07:23,637 --> 00:07:25,178 It's not funny. 184 00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:27,345 Someone threw her out a window. 185 00:07:27,345 --> 00:07:28,929 You kidding me? That's extremely funny. 186 00:07:28,929 --> 00:07:30,178 There's, like, a fucking verb for that 187 00:07:30,178 --> 00:07:31,679 I-I'm serious, Mickey. 188 00:07:31,679 --> 00:07:35,095 They want us to go into the station for questioning. 189 00:07:35,095 --> 00:07:36,970 You know anything about this? 190 00:07:36,970 --> 00:07:39,470 Nah. Fuck, no. I didn't kill her. 191 00:07:39,470 --> 00:07:41,053 Wait. Do you know something about this? 192 00:07:41,053 --> 00:07:43,095 No. 193 00:07:43,095 --> 00:07:45,929 - That what you're telling me? - [Ian] Of course not. 194 00:07:45,929 --> 00:07:47,303 Got it. 195 00:07:47,303 --> 00:07:49,261 Good strategy. 196 00:07:49,261 --> 00:07:51,595 Wait, what stra-- I-I didn't kill her. 197 00:07:51,595 --> 00:07:54,011 - Little bit, you did, though. - No. Not little bit. 198 00:07:54,011 --> 00:07:56,804 I did zero murdering of my PO last night, Mickey. 199 00:07:56,804 --> 00:07:58,762 - Okay. - I'm not the one 200 00:07:58,762 --> 00:08:00,762 who came home late without any sort of explanation. 201 00:08:00,762 --> 00:08:02,720 I did explain. I was with my dad. 202 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:05,261 No. You didn't explain why you were with your dad. 203 00:08:05,261 --> 00:08:07,303 Exactly. 204 00:08:07,303 --> 00:08:08,720 Okay, so, to be clear, you didn't kill her, 205 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:11,720 or, you know, you "didn't" kill her"? 206 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:13,178 Why are you putting shit in weird fucking air quotes? 207 00:08:13,178 --> 00:08:14,220 Because I didn't fucking kill her. 208 00:08:14,220 --> 00:08:16,345 Okay. Me neither. 209 00:08:16,345 --> 00:08:19,011 We both know what we know we know... 210 00:08:19,011 --> 00:08:19,970 that we know. 211 00:08:21,845 --> 00:08:23,720 What the fuck does that mean? 212 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:25,303 - Hey. Where you going? - [Mickey scoffs] 213 00:08:25,303 --> 00:08:26,679 Wouldn't you like to know? 214 00:08:26,679 --> 00:08:29,053 I-I-I would. 215 00:08:29,053 --> 00:08:31,512 I would like to know! 216 00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:33,387 All right. Pick your poison. 217 00:08:33,387 --> 00:08:35,136 - Cereal or toast. - [Liam] Pass. 218 00:08:35,136 --> 00:08:37,553 Todd's biggest game of the season is today. 219 00:08:37,553 --> 00:08:39,762 Got to stay sharp, stay hungry. 220 00:08:39,762 --> 00:08:41,720 Shouldn't you be doing fun kid stuff this summer? 221 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:44,303 Like Slip 'N Slide in the yard? 222 00:08:44,303 --> 00:08:46,303 Talent management is fun, Tami, 223 00:08:46,303 --> 00:08:48,345 if it's the kill that you love. 224 00:08:48,345 --> 00:08:49,553 - [cell phone rings] - Excuse me. 225 00:08:49,553 --> 00:08:50,887 It's the coast. 226 00:08:50,887 --> 00:08:51,887 Go for Todd. 227 00:08:54,220 --> 00:08:55,929 Good. You're still here. 228 00:08:55,929 --> 00:08:56,887 - [Lip] Hey. - I need to talk to you. 229 00:08:56,887 --> 00:08:58,845 Uh, okay. 230 00:08:58,845 --> 00:09:01,387 I met this awesome woman last night at a hotel bar, right? 231 00:09:01,387 --> 00:09:02,762 - [Lip] Okay. Yeah. - Claudia. 232 00:09:02,762 --> 00:09:05,720 She's older than me, but not in a rape-y way. 233 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:08,220 She's got this beautiful smile and these bright eyes 234 00:09:08,220 --> 00:09:10,887 and these sexy little Lisa Loeb glasses. 235 00:09:10,887 --> 00:09:12,720 Debs. Hey. 236 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,804 So, anyways, we spent the night together last night. 237 00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:17,887 - [Lip] Yeah. - And then she gave me this. 238 00:09:19,929 --> 00:09:21,345 I'm really confused. 239 00:09:21,345 --> 00:09:22,387 Why would she give me 1,000 bucks? 240 00:09:22,387 --> 00:09:24,220 [chuckling] Um... 241 00:09:24,220 --> 00:09:25,804 [clicks tongue] I'm not. She, uh-- 242 00:09:25,804 --> 00:09:28,303 [inhales deeply] She thinks you're a prostitute. 243 00:09:28,303 --> 00:09:29,929 - What? - Yeah. 244 00:09:29,929 --> 00:09:31,845 But it was voluntary hooking up. 245 00:09:31,845 --> 00:09:33,970 I liked the sex. I think she did, too. 246 00:09:33,970 --> 00:09:35,804 Yeah. I like fixing bikes. 247 00:09:35,804 --> 00:09:37,929 But it's my job because someone gives me cash to do it. 248 00:09:37,929 --> 00:09:40,637 - But we really hit it off. - [Fred crying] 249 00:09:40,637 --> 00:09:43,470 It wasn't like a gross sex worker situation at all. 250 00:09:43,470 --> 00:09:44,887 Who's a sex worker? 251 00:09:44,887 --> 00:09:46,178 - Debbie. - [Debbie] No. 252 00:09:46,178 --> 00:09:47,470 This is a misunderstanding 253 00:09:47,470 --> 00:09:48,970 that will be cleared up immediately. 254 00:09:48,970 --> 00:09:50,762 Okay. 255 00:09:50,762 --> 00:09:52,428 - Tami. - Yeah? 256 00:09:52,428 --> 00:09:54,095 Could you wake up Franny in 20 minutes 257 00:09:54,095 --> 00:09:55,095 and watch her till I get back? 258 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,845 I can for a little while, 259 00:09:56,845 --> 00:09:58,804 but then I got to take Fred to daycare, get to work by noon. 260 00:09:58,804 --> 00:10:00,303 - Cool. I owe you. - [Lip] Wait, wait, wait, Debs. 261 00:10:00,303 --> 00:10:02,011 How much do you owe her? 262 00:10:02,011 --> 00:10:03,303 Because you have to be clear about terms up front. 263 00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:04,887 - Shut up, dick. - You know? 264 00:10:04,887 --> 00:10:06,095 - [Tami laughs] - [door opens] 265 00:10:06,095 --> 00:10:07,553 [Ian] Oh, thank fuck you're here. 266 00:10:07,553 --> 00:10:08,679 - [Lip] Hey. - I need to talk you. 267 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:11,553 - You're popular this morning. - Yeah. 268 00:10:11,553 --> 00:10:14,637 Hey, Tami, uh, it's kind of a brothers-only situation. 269 00:10:18,053 --> 00:10:21,220 Thanks. 270 00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:24,345 What's up? 271 00:10:24,345 --> 00:10:26,387 I think Mickey killed our parole officer. 272 00:10:26,387 --> 00:10:27,970 - You what? - Yeah. 273 00:10:27,970 --> 00:10:30,136 She got thrown out a window last night, 274 00:10:30,136 --> 00:10:33,053 and he hates her, and he was out late. 275 00:10:33,053 --> 00:10:34,887 Plus, he's a psychopath, so... 276 00:10:34,887 --> 00:10:36,178 Yeah, but you-you really think 277 00:10:36,178 --> 00:10:37,804 Mickey would kill a parole officer? 278 00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,303 We just had this whole conversation 279 00:10:39,303 --> 00:10:40,970 where he said he basically did it, 280 00:10:40,970 --> 00:10:43,595 you know, in his Mickey way of not saying he did it 281 00:10:43,595 --> 00:10:44,512 but totally saying he did it. 282 00:10:44,512 --> 00:10:46,220 - You know? - No. 283 00:10:46,220 --> 00:10:47,970 Well, I don't know what the fuck to do. 284 00:10:47,970 --> 00:10:49,970 I mean, I'm supposed to make a statement to the police, 285 00:10:49,970 --> 00:10:51,470 and--I mean, do I lie and say he was here all night? 286 00:10:51,470 --> 00:10:52,679 - Or-- - Yes. 287 00:10:52,679 --> 00:10:54,345 You're a Gallagher, right? 288 00:10:54,345 --> 00:10:55,512 Always lie. 289 00:10:59,345 --> 00:11:00,887 Why are you squirming so much? 290 00:11:00,887 --> 00:11:02,387 - Something wrong with you? - I'm not squirming. 291 00:11:02,387 --> 00:11:03,679 [Kev] The point is, V, 292 00:11:03,679 --> 00:11:05,178 when you have the money, you got to spend it. 293 00:11:05,178 --> 00:11:07,512 - Five-dollar scratchers. - No, Kev. 294 00:11:07,512 --> 00:11:09,345 But we have $800. 295 00:11:09,345 --> 00:11:11,220 We could buy a million five-dollar scratchers. 296 00:11:11,220 --> 00:11:13,178 What about Disneyland, 297 00:11:13,178 --> 00:11:15,178 a once-in-a-lifetime experience for our children? 298 00:11:15,178 --> 00:11:17,178 Fuck that mouse. 299 00:11:17,178 --> 00:11:19,345 I'll take another Sea Breeze, please. 300 00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:21,929 Or we go to the Indian casino, and we double down on craps. 301 00:11:21,929 --> 00:11:24,470 Let it ride. 302 00:11:24,470 --> 00:11:25,887 What do real people do with money? 303 00:11:25,887 --> 00:11:27,220 That's what I want to do. 304 00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,136 - [Tommy] Invest it. - In what? 305 00:11:29,136 --> 00:11:30,845 You know who you should talk to? 306 00:11:30,845 --> 00:11:33,804 My buddy Gerald's daughter. She is a money genius. 307 00:11:33,804 --> 00:11:36,053 She--she invested in this Korean company, 308 00:11:36,053 --> 00:11:38,428 selling their products from home. 309 00:11:38,428 --> 00:11:40,720 Now she's got a Mercedes. 310 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:42,053 [Kev] I want a Mercedes. 311 00:11:42,053 --> 00:11:43,804 We could sell Korean stuff, V. 312 00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:45,553 We could sell the shit out of Korean stuff. 313 00:11:45,553 --> 00:11:46,720 We don't have a ton to invest. 314 00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:48,053 Well, neither did she. 315 00:11:48,053 --> 00:11:50,136 She was a waitress. 316 00:11:50,136 --> 00:11:51,637 Want me to get her number for you? 317 00:11:51,637 --> 00:11:53,345 - [door opens] - Good morrow, friends. 318 00:11:53,345 --> 00:11:56,053 Chums. Old pals. 319 00:11:56,053 --> 00:11:57,679 I'm gonna use the ladies' room. 320 00:11:57,679 --> 00:11:59,387 - [door closes] - Hurry back, bunny. 321 00:11:59,387 --> 00:12:01,136 Mm, hop, hop, hop. 322 00:12:01,136 --> 00:12:03,970 [both chuckle] 323 00:12:03,970 --> 00:12:05,929 [Frank] Is it a beautiful morning or what? 324 00:12:05,929 --> 00:12:08,178 - [Tommy] Stop gloating, Frank. - [Kermit] Oh, shut up. 325 00:12:08,178 --> 00:12:10,762 You and the lady friend are getting tight, huh, Frank? 326 00:12:10,762 --> 00:12:12,136 Wait. I don't care. 327 00:12:12,136 --> 00:12:13,804 [man laughs] 328 00:12:13,804 --> 00:12:15,845 We are getting tight, V. Thank you for asking. 329 00:12:15,845 --> 00:12:18,804 Only thing that's a little bit odd is, 330 00:12:18,804 --> 00:12:20,970 she appears to live in a Rolls-Royce. 331 00:12:20,970 --> 00:12:22,679 A Rolls? 332 00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:23,929 You see, I don't want her to feel uncomfortable 333 00:12:23,929 --> 00:12:24,929 that she's homeless. 334 00:12:24,929 --> 00:12:26,679 We've all been there. 335 00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:28,011 - [Veronica] Never. - We've never been there. 336 00:12:28,011 --> 00:12:29,762 I'm probably homeless right now. 337 00:12:29,762 --> 00:12:31,512 Got to check with the kids about that. 338 00:12:31,512 --> 00:12:33,637 Are you sure she's homeless, Frank? 339 00:12:33,637 --> 00:12:34,929 The Rolls-Royce doesn't make sense. 340 00:12:34,929 --> 00:12:36,178 Yeah, have you actually asked her, 341 00:12:36,178 --> 00:12:38,470 "Do you have a house, Faye?" 342 00:12:38,470 --> 00:12:41,261 Got to play the long game with a woman like this. 343 00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:44,470 Let her dole out the info at her own pace. 344 00:12:44,470 --> 00:12:46,136 Peel back the onion 345 00:12:46,136 --> 00:12:48,970 and reveal her ripe fruit to me when she's ready. 346 00:12:48,970 --> 00:12:51,720 [door opens] 347 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:53,220 Hey, Faye, do you have a house? 348 00:12:53,220 --> 00:12:54,595 Yes. Why? 349 00:12:58,679 --> 00:13:01,011 [clanging] 350 00:13:01,011 --> 00:13:02,178 Staff meeting. 351 00:13:02,178 --> 00:13:03,178 [clangs] 352 00:13:03,178 --> 00:13:05,220 Now in session. 353 00:13:05,220 --> 00:13:06,261 [clangs] 354 00:13:06,261 --> 00:13:07,512 All right. 355 00:13:07,512 --> 00:13:09,428 We got a special today. 356 00:13:09,428 --> 00:13:11,387 Shrimp tater tots. 357 00:13:11,387 --> 00:13:13,345 Part tater, part shrimp. 358 00:13:13,345 --> 00:13:14,637 I'ma throw up. 359 00:13:14,637 --> 00:13:16,970 Looks like you fried a turd, Lori. 360 00:13:16,970 --> 00:13:18,887 [Lori] Serving these beauties up with a slice of lemon 361 00:13:18,887 --> 00:13:21,679 and a dollop of tartar jizz. 362 00:13:21,679 --> 00:13:24,220 Seven-fifty with a combo drink and fries. 363 00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:25,762 Jesus. 364 00:13:27,637 --> 00:13:29,845 You getting all this, Carl? Hello? 365 00:13:29,845 --> 00:13:32,887 - Yeah. I got it. - What's wrong with you? 366 00:13:32,887 --> 00:13:34,679 [Stump] He's questioning his life choices. 367 00:13:34,679 --> 00:13:36,845 Going through his "wants to do good for the world" phase. 368 00:13:36,845 --> 00:13:38,345 It'll pass. 369 00:13:38,345 --> 00:13:39,595 Why would you want to do good? 370 00:13:39,595 --> 00:13:41,762 I don't know. 371 00:13:41,762 --> 00:13:45,512 Guess it felt good saving lives and fixing streetlights. 372 00:13:45,512 --> 00:13:47,595 Felt like I had a purpose on this earth, you know? 373 00:13:47,595 --> 00:13:49,053 - Join the military. - I can't. 374 00:13:49,053 --> 00:13:50,470 I'm banned. 375 00:13:50,470 --> 00:13:52,053 So gain 50 pounds and be a cop, then. 376 00:13:52,053 --> 00:13:54,178 I'm too young to apply. 377 00:13:54,178 --> 00:13:56,970 Guess this is my fate-- serving shrimp taters. 378 00:13:59,053 --> 00:14:01,011 Let me tell you something, Carl. 379 00:14:01,011 --> 00:14:03,428 You think I always wanted to do this with my life? 380 00:14:03,428 --> 00:14:06,136 Serving up fried turd balls with a bunch of ex-cons? 381 00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:08,136 I'm a vet, Lori. Two tours! 382 00:14:08,136 --> 00:14:10,970 This wasn't my dream. I wanted to be a teacher. 383 00:14:12,095 --> 00:14:16,887 But cocaine tasted so good, I just did that instead. 384 00:14:16,887 --> 00:14:18,053 The point is, you got to have dreams. 385 00:14:18,053 --> 00:14:19,804 Go be a cop. 386 00:14:19,804 --> 00:14:21,720 Can't apply till I'm 21. 387 00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:23,720 Uh, you ever heard of faking a birth certificate 388 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:25,220 using a dead guy's name? 389 00:14:25,220 --> 00:14:26,470 [scoffs] 390 00:14:26,470 --> 00:14:29,470 ♪ funky music ♪ 391 00:14:29,470 --> 00:14:34,387 ♪♪♪ 392 00:14:37,011 --> 00:14:39,595 Some big people here today. Am I right? 393 00:14:39,595 --> 00:14:41,637 - Yep. - Whose your boy? 394 00:14:41,637 --> 00:14:43,095 Sixteen. 395 00:14:43,095 --> 00:14:44,720 You got Todd Bryerson? 396 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:46,512 Nice. 397 00:14:46,512 --> 00:14:47,637 I'm with 22. 398 00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:50,136 Cordel Jackson. 399 00:14:50,136 --> 00:14:53,637 Yeah, we're positioning him to take a third endorsement today. 400 00:14:53,637 --> 00:14:56,095 Timbo Keller, RCE Sports Management. 401 00:14:56,095 --> 00:14:57,970 - And you are? - You're not poaching my boy. 402 00:14:57,970 --> 00:15:00,095 [chuckles] Whoa, little man. I was just gonna say-- 403 00:15:00,095 --> 00:15:01,303 Walk away. 404 00:15:01,303 --> 00:15:03,095 - Wow. You're paranoid. - I've seen you eye him. 405 00:15:03,095 --> 00:15:04,095 Walk away. 406 00:15:05,595 --> 00:15:08,428 [net swishes, buzzer sounds] 407 00:15:08,428 --> 00:15:10,804 [crowd cheers] 408 00:15:10,804 --> 00:15:12,929 Listen, buddy. Got a strategy. 409 00:15:12,929 --> 00:15:14,428 Check it. 410 00:15:14,428 --> 00:15:16,595 The new Apollos? Not out yet. 411 00:15:16,595 --> 00:15:18,512 They're gonna be huge. 412 00:15:18,512 --> 00:15:20,637 New lace technology. 413 00:15:20,637 --> 00:15:22,679 Self-tightens. 414 00:15:22,679 --> 00:15:23,887 Apollos? 415 00:15:23,887 --> 00:15:25,804 That's all you can get me? 416 00:15:25,804 --> 00:15:27,595 Cordel's got Air Jordans, and RCE signed him. 417 00:15:27,595 --> 00:15:29,345 [Liam] Trust me. 418 00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:32,553 Get photographed in these. Boom, leverage. 419 00:15:32,553 --> 00:15:34,470 What's leverage? 420 00:15:34,470 --> 00:15:36,178 Don't worry about it. 421 00:15:36,178 --> 00:15:38,637 Trust me. 422 00:15:38,637 --> 00:15:41,804 ♪ quirky rock music ♪ 423 00:15:41,804 --> 00:15:46,804 ♪♪♪ 424 00:15:54,637 --> 00:15:56,804 Hey, Officer Berto. Can we talk for a second? 425 00:15:56,804 --> 00:15:58,261 I haven't seen your dad. Buzz off. 426 00:15:58,261 --> 00:15:59,887 Wait, wait. It's not about my dad. 427 00:15:59,887 --> 00:16:01,804 - It's about lawyers. - [groans] Worse. 428 00:16:01,804 --> 00:16:04,053 - I'm on my break. - Great. 429 00:16:04,053 --> 00:16:07,720 [indistinct chatter over police radio] 430 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:10,595 [door opens, Ian grunts] 431 00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:12,178 When you got arrested 432 00:16:12,178 --> 00:16:14,845 for beating the shit out of that Cardinals fan, 433 00:16:14,845 --> 00:16:16,553 who was the lawyer that got you off? 434 00:16:16,553 --> 00:16:17,512 Danny Alvarez. 435 00:16:17,512 --> 00:16:19,679 Best lawyer around. 436 00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:22,387 Five hundred an hour. Worth every penny. 437 00:16:22,387 --> 00:16:24,178 Yeah, I thought I was fucked when Tina wouldn't marry me, 438 00:16:24,178 --> 00:16:25,720 but Danny saved my ass. 439 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:28,512 Got me off scot-free. 440 00:16:28,512 --> 00:16:30,053 Wouldn't marry you? 441 00:16:30,053 --> 00:16:31,720 What's that got to do with anything? 442 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:33,345 Oh, 'cause married people can't testify 443 00:16:33,345 --> 00:16:34,720 against each other in a court of law. 444 00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:37,011 It's called spousal privilege. 445 00:16:37,011 --> 00:16:38,637 That's why I tried to get Tina to marry me, 446 00:16:38,637 --> 00:16:40,428 but the bitch said, no, she wouldn't cover for me. 447 00:16:40,428 --> 00:16:42,261 So I had to hire Danny. 448 00:16:42,261 --> 00:16:44,428 Married people can't testify against each other? Ever? 449 00:16:44,428 --> 00:16:45,387 Nope. 450 00:16:45,387 --> 00:16:47,053 Any knowledge you have 451 00:16:47,053 --> 00:16:49,011 of each other's shit is strictly confidential. 452 00:16:49,011 --> 00:16:51,011 It's what we in the biz call a loophole. 453 00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:54,387 [indistinct chatter over police radio] 454 00:16:54,387 --> 00:16:55,553 What's his blood type? 455 00:16:55,553 --> 00:16:57,136 [Fred coos] 456 00:16:57,136 --> 00:16:58,470 What? They need to know his blood type 457 00:16:58,470 --> 00:17:00,053 so he can do tummy time? 458 00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:01,303 Mm. 459 00:17:01,303 --> 00:17:03,512 I'm just gonna put "red." 460 00:17:05,595 --> 00:17:07,679 Who's his emergency contact? 461 00:17:07,679 --> 00:17:09,428 That's easy. Me. 462 00:17:09,428 --> 00:17:12,178 Who are they supposed to call if we're both unreachable 463 00:17:12,178 --> 00:17:13,637 and Fred's having a seizure? 464 00:17:13,637 --> 00:17:15,053 Seizure? Jesus. 465 00:17:15,053 --> 00:17:17,011 What are they gonna do to him in this place? 466 00:17:17,011 --> 00:17:18,595 Cami. 467 00:17:18,595 --> 00:17:20,553 No. Your sister? No. No, no, no. 468 00:17:20,553 --> 00:17:22,053 Uh...Ian. 469 00:17:22,053 --> 00:17:24,095 Ian the felon? 470 00:17:24,095 --> 00:17:26,387 Uh, uh, Debbie, then. 471 00:17:26,387 --> 00:17:27,387 The prostitute. 472 00:17:27,387 --> 00:17:30,178 [chuckling] Okay. Um... 473 00:17:30,178 --> 00:17:32,512 look, why don't we just leave it blank, huh? 474 00:17:32,512 --> 00:17:35,428 You can't leave it blank. So Cami. 475 00:17:35,428 --> 00:17:37,387 [sighs] 476 00:17:37,387 --> 00:17:39,720 She and Brad are gonna be Fred's legal guardians anyway. 477 00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:41,095 What? Since when? 478 00:17:42,553 --> 00:17:44,553 Why wouldn't they be? 479 00:17:44,553 --> 00:17:47,095 Uh, because Brad fell off the wagon so hard 480 00:17:47,095 --> 00:17:48,804 that we had to pick him up out of a ditch last year, 481 00:17:48,804 --> 00:17:50,095 and you hate your sister? 482 00:17:51,595 --> 00:17:53,845 - I don't hate my sister. - Yes, you do. 483 00:17:53,845 --> 00:17:55,095 And we all do. 484 00:17:56,387 --> 00:17:59,804 Fine. Um, my Aunt Oopie, then. 485 00:17:59,804 --> 00:18:01,470 Aunt Oop--no. Fuck, no. What? 486 00:18:01,470 --> 00:18:02,929 Okay. 487 00:18:02,929 --> 00:18:05,261 Who did you have in mind to be Fred's legal guardian? 488 00:18:09,512 --> 00:18:11,804 I don't know. Can we just do this later? 489 00:18:11,804 --> 00:18:13,762 A Gallagher, though, right? 490 00:18:13,762 --> 00:18:15,595 Honestly, I hadn't even thought about it. 491 00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,011 [smooches] 492 00:18:17,011 --> 00:18:18,804 Bye, buddy! [smooches loudly] 493 00:18:18,804 --> 00:18:20,470 Hey. We will be talking about this later. 494 00:18:20,470 --> 00:18:21,387 Yes. 495 00:18:21,387 --> 00:18:23,095 - [door opens] - Bye! 496 00:18:23,095 --> 00:18:24,136 [door closes] 497 00:18:25,637 --> 00:18:26,679 Debbie? 498 00:18:26,679 --> 00:18:29,261 Hey. Uh... 499 00:18:29,261 --> 00:18:32,387 I was just wondering why you gave me this last night. 500 00:18:32,387 --> 00:18:34,303 Oh, I'm sorry. Was it not enough? 501 00:18:34,303 --> 00:18:36,845 Here, come in. Come in. 502 00:18:36,845 --> 00:18:38,345 Just, um-- my wallet's right over there. 503 00:18:38,345 --> 00:18:40,011 Just take whatever your rate is. 504 00:18:40,011 --> 00:18:41,345 - I wasn't sure. - [door closes] 505 00:18:41,345 --> 00:18:43,804 [scoffs] Claudia, I don't have a rate. 506 00:18:43,804 --> 00:18:45,345 I'm not a prostitute. 507 00:18:45,345 --> 00:18:47,345 You're not? 508 00:18:47,345 --> 00:18:48,887 Why were you sitting with all the prostitutes, then? 509 00:18:48,887 --> 00:18:50,637 You know, they call that Ho Corner. 510 00:18:50,637 --> 00:18:53,637 I did not know that. [chuckles] 511 00:18:53,637 --> 00:18:56,470 I just met you, and I thought I liked you. 512 00:18:57,762 --> 00:18:59,387 So I was a freebie? 513 00:18:59,387 --> 00:19:01,345 No, you weren't a freebie, 514 00:19:01,345 --> 00:19:04,011 because you're not a john and I'm not a prostitute. 515 00:19:04,011 --> 00:19:05,428 I just thought we hit it off. 516 00:19:05,428 --> 00:19:07,720 Oh! 517 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:10,011 Well, I thought we had a connection, too. 518 00:19:10,011 --> 00:19:12,679 So this is a misunderstanding? 519 00:19:12,679 --> 00:19:14,887 Big mistake. Huge. 520 00:19:14,887 --> 00:19:15,970 Great. 521 00:19:15,970 --> 00:19:18,261 Um, I have to get to work, 522 00:19:18,261 --> 00:19:21,929 but can I take you out on a proper date later? 523 00:19:21,929 --> 00:19:24,095 Sure. 524 00:19:24,095 --> 00:19:25,887 How long are you in town? 525 00:19:25,887 --> 00:19:27,929 I live here. Up in Lake Forest. 526 00:19:27,929 --> 00:19:30,178 I just get a hotel room 527 00:19:30,178 --> 00:19:32,053 when I have a late meeting in the city 528 00:19:32,053 --> 00:19:34,887 or I'm too fucked up on, you know, and looking for a... 529 00:19:34,887 --> 00:19:36,095 [inhales deeply] 530 00:19:36,095 --> 00:19:38,929 [clicks tongue] So, uh, dinner? 531 00:19:38,929 --> 00:19:41,595 How about seven o'clock tonight? 532 00:19:41,595 --> 00:19:43,512 - Sure. Sounds good. - [Claudia] Okay. 533 00:19:43,512 --> 00:19:45,053 And here, I'm gonna return this. 534 00:19:45,053 --> 00:19:47,303 Oh, no, no, no. Keep it, as a gift. 535 00:19:47,303 --> 00:19:49,136 It's the least I can do for insulting you. 536 00:19:49,136 --> 00:19:50,637 [chuckles] Oh! 537 00:19:50,637 --> 00:19:53,053 And if you're free today, 538 00:19:53,053 --> 00:19:55,011 why don't you just enjoy the room? 539 00:19:55,011 --> 00:19:56,303 I mean, I have to go to work, 540 00:19:56,303 --> 00:19:57,679 but I can arrange for a late checkout. 541 00:19:57,679 --> 00:19:59,220 I mean, just order up some room service 542 00:19:59,220 --> 00:20:01,053 or a spa treatment. 543 00:20:02,220 --> 00:20:03,553 Well, thanks. 544 00:20:04,679 --> 00:20:06,804 ♪ rock music ♪ 545 00:20:06,804 --> 00:20:08,470 [door closes] 546 00:20:08,470 --> 00:20:10,095 I don't understand. 547 00:20:10,095 --> 00:20:13,011 If you have a house, why didn't we sleep in it? 548 00:20:13,011 --> 00:20:16,011 It's embarrassing. 549 00:20:16,011 --> 00:20:19,053 You'll think I'm crazy. 550 00:20:19,053 --> 00:20:23,261 There is zero percent chance that I'll think you're crazy. 551 00:20:23,261 --> 00:20:26,178 What's embarrassing? You got bedbugs? 552 00:20:26,178 --> 00:20:28,261 You know what? Let's change the subject. 553 00:20:28,261 --> 00:20:29,303 Come on. 554 00:20:29,303 --> 00:20:30,595 Tell Frank. 555 00:20:30,595 --> 00:20:32,095 You got a husband back home? 556 00:20:32,095 --> 00:20:34,261 Much worse than that. 557 00:20:34,261 --> 00:20:35,679 Children? 558 00:20:35,679 --> 00:20:38,011 It's haunted, Frank. 559 00:20:38,011 --> 00:20:40,553 I'm terrified to be there alone. 560 00:20:40,553 --> 00:20:43,095 [whispering] That's why I sleep in my car. 561 00:20:43,095 --> 00:20:45,428 "Haunted"? 562 00:20:45,428 --> 00:20:47,345 Every floor, 563 00:20:47,345 --> 00:20:49,387 every room, 564 00:20:49,387 --> 00:20:52,261 including the ballroom and servants' quarters. 565 00:20:52,261 --> 00:20:55,387 How big is this house? 566 00:20:55,387 --> 00:20:57,887 Twenty-two thousand nine hundred eleven square feet. 567 00:20:57,887 --> 00:20:59,970 On the lake. 568 00:20:59,970 --> 00:21:02,303 Nine bedrooms, including the master. 569 00:21:02,303 --> 00:21:04,428 But that's mostly just storage 570 00:21:04,428 --> 00:21:06,637 for my father's single-malt scotch collection. 571 00:21:08,095 --> 00:21:10,136 Your father collects scotch? 572 00:21:10,136 --> 00:21:11,929 Did. Yes. 573 00:21:11,929 --> 00:21:13,512 He's dead now. 574 00:21:13,512 --> 00:21:16,720 He has hundreds of bottles of the stuff in that room. 575 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:18,470 I mean... [scoffs] 576 00:21:18,470 --> 00:21:21,345 Not that I'm brave enough to go in there. 577 00:21:21,345 --> 00:21:25,261 You know, Faye, I believe in ghosts. 578 00:21:25,261 --> 00:21:27,845 I see them. I hear them. 579 00:21:27,845 --> 00:21:30,053 And I can exorcise them. 580 00:21:30,053 --> 00:21:32,053 We're simpatico. 581 00:21:32,053 --> 00:21:34,053 I could help you get rid of 'em for good. 582 00:21:35,303 --> 00:21:36,303 Really? 583 00:21:37,970 --> 00:21:39,637 Who else you gonna call? 584 00:21:39,637 --> 00:21:43,053 [both laugh] 585 00:21:43,053 --> 00:21:45,220 ♪ We rock and roll, and we rock ♪ 586 00:21:45,220 --> 00:21:47,261 ♪ Hip-hop, you know it don't stop ♪ 587 00:21:47,261 --> 00:21:49,470 ♪ Let's do work and don't punch the clock ♪ 588 00:21:49,470 --> 00:21:51,345 ♪ And, uh, ticktock a mill off the top, ma ♪ 589 00:21:51,345 --> 00:21:53,679 ♪ Catch my vibe, catch my vibe ♪ 590 00:21:53,679 --> 00:21:55,929 ♪ Catch my vibe, catch my vibe ♪ 591 00:21:55,929 --> 00:21:59,845 ♪ Gimme my room while I catch my vibe ♪ 592 00:21:59,845 --> 00:22:01,303 [announcer] Ladies and gentlemen, 593 00:22:01,303 --> 00:22:03,553 let's all stand for the national anthem. 594 00:22:03,553 --> 00:22:07,387 [drumroll playing on speakers] 595 00:22:07,387 --> 00:22:09,679 ["The Star-Spangled Banner" plays on speakers] 596 00:22:09,679 --> 00:22:14,679 ♪♪♪ 597 00:22:17,053 --> 00:22:18,845 ♪ mischievous music ♪ 598 00:22:18,845 --> 00:22:21,178 "Southside Kid Finally Takes a Stand." 599 00:22:21,178 --> 00:22:22,178 ♪ Yeah ♪ 600 00:22:22,178 --> 00:22:23,345 ♪ Hey ♪ 601 00:22:23,345 --> 00:22:24,178 ♪ Yeah ♪ 602 00:22:24,178 --> 00:22:25,178 Boom. 603 00:22:25,178 --> 00:22:26,595 ♪ Yeah ♪ 604 00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:28,720 - ♪ Hey ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 605 00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:31,011 Man, let me ask you something. 606 00:22:31,011 --> 00:22:33,053 Who's your kid's guardian? 607 00:22:33,053 --> 00:22:35,345 You, I think. 608 00:22:35,345 --> 00:22:37,595 [laughs] No. I'm just kidding. 609 00:22:37,595 --> 00:22:41,095 It's, uh, some Bible-thumping aunt on Cami's side. 610 00:22:41,095 --> 00:22:42,720 Oh, and you're okay with that? 611 00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:45,595 I mean, it not being someone in your own family? 612 00:22:45,595 --> 00:22:48,095 You've clearly never met my family. 613 00:22:48,095 --> 00:22:50,387 Guardian stuff's up to the mother anyway. 614 00:22:50,387 --> 00:22:52,261 Everything is. 615 00:22:52,261 --> 00:22:54,970 Sooner you accept that, the better your life will be. 616 00:22:54,970 --> 00:22:57,011 Remote control, up to her. 617 00:22:57,011 --> 00:22:59,053 Temperature of every room, up to her. 618 00:22:59,053 --> 00:23:00,011 Your balls, up to her. 619 00:23:00,011 --> 00:23:01,720 [phone quacking] 620 00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:02,970 Oh. 621 00:23:06,178 --> 00:23:07,970 Yo. What's up? 622 00:23:07,970 --> 00:23:10,011 Hey. The new daycare wouldn't take Fred. 623 00:23:10,011 --> 00:23:11,720 [Lip] What? 624 00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:14,011 The daycare wouldn't take Fred because of his rash. 625 00:23:14,011 --> 00:23:15,178 Oh. Is that right? 626 00:23:15,178 --> 00:23:17,345 [Tami] Well, not his rash, 627 00:23:17,345 --> 00:23:19,512 but because of his stupid rash, they took his temperature, 628 00:23:19,512 --> 00:23:21,637 and it's point-two degrees higher than it should be, 629 00:23:21,637 --> 00:23:23,887 so they sent him home. 630 00:23:23,887 --> 00:23:25,136 [Lip] Okay. Where are you now? 631 00:23:25,136 --> 00:23:27,136 Uh, I'm almost home. 632 00:23:27,136 --> 00:23:29,095 Aunt Oopie is meeting me there, and then, hopefully, 633 00:23:29,095 --> 00:23:30,679 I will still make it to work on time. 634 00:23:30,679 --> 00:23:33,136 Oh, your-your-your aunt I've never met? 635 00:23:33,136 --> 00:23:34,428 [Tami] She's available. 636 00:23:34,428 --> 00:23:36,345 You know, you can meet her when you get home. 637 00:23:36,345 --> 00:23:37,387 Oh, and can you pick up some baby aspirin? 638 00:23:37,387 --> 00:23:38,804 Mwah. 639 00:23:38,804 --> 00:23:41,512 Ah, f...uck me. 640 00:23:44,512 --> 00:23:46,428 [Faye shudders] We're getting close. 641 00:23:46,428 --> 00:23:49,095 Oh, Frank. 642 00:23:49,095 --> 00:23:52,220 [exhales sharply] I'm in a cold sweat. 643 00:23:52,220 --> 00:23:54,887 Let's talk about these spirits for a second. 644 00:23:54,887 --> 00:23:57,303 Uh, can you see them, or are they more of a presence? 645 00:23:57,303 --> 00:23:58,679 [Faye] A presence. 646 00:23:58,679 --> 00:24:01,470 Like a cold hand on my neck. 647 00:24:01,470 --> 00:24:03,387 Okay. Right here. 648 00:24:03,387 --> 00:24:05,303 [sighs] 649 00:24:06,679 --> 00:24:10,470 [shudders] It's the worst when I'm in bed. 650 00:24:10,470 --> 00:24:12,845 They hover over me. 651 00:24:12,845 --> 00:24:15,387 Oh, God. 652 00:24:15,387 --> 00:24:17,428 Oh, God. 653 00:24:17,428 --> 00:24:19,261 [shivers] 654 00:24:19,261 --> 00:24:20,637 Fr... 655 00:24:20,637 --> 00:24:22,095 [quietly] I-I-I... 656 00:24:22,095 --> 00:24:23,929 I can't do this. 657 00:24:23,929 --> 00:24:25,512 Give me your hand. 658 00:24:25,512 --> 00:24:27,428 It's like our black president said, 659 00:24:27,428 --> 00:24:29,428 "Yes, we can." 660 00:24:29,428 --> 00:24:30,804 Come on. 661 00:24:30,804 --> 00:24:33,970 Come on. Come on. 662 00:24:33,970 --> 00:24:37,762 It's just a house. 663 00:24:37,762 --> 00:24:41,595 A very expensive house, but nothing we can't handle. 664 00:24:49,387 --> 00:24:51,095 [clock chiming, number pad beeping] 665 00:24:51,095 --> 00:24:52,595 [door closes] 666 00:24:56,387 --> 00:24:58,011 Let's start 667 00:24:58,011 --> 00:25:00,011 with the scotch-collection room and go from there. 668 00:25:00,011 --> 00:25:01,011 Which way? 669 00:25:01,011 --> 00:25:02,470 Up the stairs. 670 00:25:02,470 --> 00:25:04,845 Uh, for whatever it's worth, 671 00:25:04,845 --> 00:25:08,637 my spidey sense is really not picking up any spirits. 672 00:25:08,637 --> 00:25:09,679 [calling out] Right? 673 00:25:09,679 --> 00:25:12,470 No ghosts in here, right? 674 00:25:12,470 --> 00:25:13,595 I can't. 675 00:25:13,595 --> 00:25:15,178 I literally can't go up the stairs, Frank. 676 00:25:15,178 --> 00:25:16,762 Faye, take my hand. 677 00:25:16,762 --> 00:25:19,553 I want you to really hear what I'm about to tell you. 678 00:25:19,553 --> 00:25:21,053 I've got you. 679 00:25:21,053 --> 00:25:22,637 And you're safe with me. 680 00:25:26,512 --> 00:25:28,095 Aw. 681 00:25:28,095 --> 00:25:30,929 Is that you? 682 00:25:30,929 --> 00:25:32,845 Yes. 683 00:25:32,845 --> 00:25:35,637 At high-school graduation... 684 00:25:35,637 --> 00:25:38,428 right before everything changed forever... 685 00:25:38,428 --> 00:25:40,387 when my life still had promise. 686 00:25:51,261 --> 00:25:53,470 - You're late. Grab an AK. - [gun cocks] 687 00:25:53,470 --> 00:25:54,679 - What's up, Mickey? - [George] Hey, the large file 688 00:25:54,679 --> 00:25:56,637 works best on serial numbers. 689 00:25:56,637 --> 00:25:59,303 Yo, I heard about that bitch PO going down. 690 00:25:59,303 --> 00:26:01,887 [George] Yeah, who's the lucky parolee that gets that trophy? 691 00:26:01,887 --> 00:26:03,679 I bet he's loving life right now. 692 00:26:03,679 --> 00:26:05,303 [Terry] Why you make me ask you twice? 693 00:26:05,303 --> 00:26:06,970 Sit. File. 694 00:26:06,970 --> 00:26:08,845 [Mickey] I'm not really here to work, Pops. 695 00:26:08,845 --> 00:26:10,512 "Not here to work," he says. 696 00:26:10,512 --> 00:26:11,887 You helped us move 'em last night. 697 00:26:11,887 --> 00:26:14,470 - Now you got cold feet? - No. I just... 698 00:26:14,470 --> 00:26:17,428 I need advice, actually. 699 00:26:17,428 --> 00:26:19,303 - What the fuck? - [Mickey] Yeah, I know. 700 00:26:19,303 --> 00:26:21,595 Look, I'm pretty sure Ian popped that PO. 701 00:26:21,595 --> 00:26:23,387 Who's Ian? 702 00:26:23,387 --> 00:26:25,428 Fuck you, man. Don't start with that shit. 703 00:26:25,428 --> 00:26:27,220 [laughing] Hey, I'm just fucking with you. 704 00:26:27,220 --> 00:26:29,929 No way in hell that little gay carrot boy shot her. 705 00:26:29,929 --> 00:26:31,261 No. She didn't get shot. 706 00:26:31,261 --> 00:26:33,679 She got...pushed out a window. 707 00:26:33,679 --> 00:26:35,178 Did he tell you he did it? 708 00:26:35,178 --> 00:26:36,762 [stammers wordlessly, sighs] 709 00:26:36,762 --> 00:26:38,595 In so many words, yeah. 710 00:26:38,595 --> 00:26:40,512 Shit. Were you wearing a wire? 711 00:26:40,512 --> 00:26:42,303 Anyone else hear the conversation? 712 00:26:42,303 --> 00:26:44,679 No. Look, cops want us to come in and answer questions. 713 00:26:44,679 --> 00:26:46,553 Fuck! All right. Go get packed. 714 00:26:46,553 --> 00:26:48,345 George, call Benny. Tell him to get the van. 715 00:26:48,345 --> 00:26:49,679 We got to take some cargo to Canada. 716 00:26:49,679 --> 00:26:52,345 No. No. I'm not running. I need to protect him. 717 00:26:52,345 --> 00:26:54,303 What are my options here? 718 00:26:54,303 --> 00:26:55,929 Oh, you want options? 719 00:26:55,929 --> 00:26:57,553 He wants options. [laughs] 720 00:26:57,553 --> 00:27:00,303 - [laughter] - [Terry] God damn it! 721 00:27:00,303 --> 00:27:01,595 You're a Milkovich. 722 00:27:01,595 --> 00:27:03,553 Cops gonna pin this on you so fast, 723 00:27:03,553 --> 00:27:04,845 you'll be back in the pen 724 00:27:04,845 --> 00:27:06,887 before lights out in cellblock C. 725 00:27:06,887 --> 00:27:08,637 Nothing else you can do but run. 726 00:27:08,637 --> 00:27:10,720 [George] Oh, unless you got married. 727 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,470 See, you can't testify against each other in court 728 00:27:12,470 --> 00:27:14,637 if you're mister and mister. 729 00:27:14,637 --> 00:27:17,595 Milkovich men marry vaginas, period. 730 00:27:17,595 --> 00:27:19,345 He's gay, Terry. 731 00:27:19,345 --> 00:27:21,804 I'm gay. People are gay. Do you want a beer? 732 00:27:21,804 --> 00:27:23,762 [Terry] Shut your filthy mouth. 733 00:27:23,762 --> 00:27:26,178 Hey, marriage isn't about sexual orientation anyway. 734 00:27:26,178 --> 00:27:28,261 We like pussy, right, Snook? 735 00:27:28,261 --> 00:27:29,387 Fucking love pussy. 736 00:27:29,387 --> 00:27:31,011 Can't get enough pussy. 737 00:27:31,011 --> 00:27:32,345 We're both zero percent gay. 738 00:27:32,345 --> 00:27:33,595 Yeah, we're not even prison gay. 739 00:27:33,595 --> 00:27:35,136 But technically, 740 00:27:35,136 --> 00:27:36,845 we've been legally married for what, George? 741 00:27:36,845 --> 00:27:38,345 - Nine years? - Yeah. 742 00:27:38,345 --> 00:27:39,762 Thirteen federal court hearings. 743 00:27:39,762 --> 00:27:41,637 Never testified against each other once. 744 00:27:41,637 --> 00:27:43,178 [Mickey] H-hold on. So you're saying that 745 00:27:43,178 --> 00:27:44,720 if Ian and I get married, 746 00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:47,595 then anything that happens between us is a secret? 747 00:27:47,595 --> 00:27:49,136 [Terry] You marry someone with a cock, 748 00:27:49,136 --> 00:27:51,679 I will bludgeon you dead in your sleep. 749 00:27:51,679 --> 00:27:54,595 Good talk, Dad. Thanks. 750 00:27:54,595 --> 00:27:57,136 Product conviction. That is what it is about. 751 00:27:57,136 --> 00:27:59,512 You have got to have conviction in your product. 752 00:27:59,512 --> 00:28:03,053 Equals sales, equals profit, equals new Mercedes. 753 00:28:03,053 --> 00:28:04,553 I don't sell Escargold. 754 00:28:04,553 --> 00:28:06,970 Escargold sells itself. 755 00:28:06,970 --> 00:28:10,053 I get to sit back and wax my 'Cedes with an Hermes scarf. 756 00:28:10,053 --> 00:28:11,345 Mm! 757 00:28:11,345 --> 00:28:12,553 Kev knows what I'm talking about. 758 00:28:12,553 --> 00:28:14,220 - Kev knows! - [giggles] 759 00:28:14,220 --> 00:28:15,553 Can you talk some more about the marketing tiers? 760 00:28:15,553 --> 00:28:16,679 What exactly is that? 761 00:28:16,679 --> 00:28:18,762 Multitier marketing. 762 00:28:18,762 --> 00:28:21,303 It's like-- You know what it's like, Kev? 763 00:28:21,303 --> 00:28:22,679 Sports. 764 00:28:22,679 --> 00:28:23,929 I'm the captain of my team, 765 00:28:23,929 --> 00:28:25,720 and I want you two to play for me 766 00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:26,762 because you're gonna be great players. 767 00:28:26,762 --> 00:28:29,387 MVPs. Top-draw producers. Okay? 768 00:28:29,387 --> 00:28:30,762 So I'm gonna take a little percentage 769 00:28:30,762 --> 00:28:32,720 of your sales off the top because I recruited you. 770 00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:33,720 - [Kev] Mm-hmm. - But once you are up 771 00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:35,053 and running and you have 772 00:28:35,053 --> 00:28:36,595 quadrupled your initial investment-- 773 00:28:36,595 --> 00:28:38,178 Which takes how long? 774 00:28:38,178 --> 00:28:39,929 [Tessa] Six months if you've got hustle. 775 00:28:39,929 --> 00:28:41,637 You good with Insta? Snap? Twitter? 776 00:28:41,637 --> 00:28:42,970 So good. 777 00:28:42,970 --> 00:28:44,095 So what's your capital investment? 778 00:28:44,095 --> 00:28:46,011 Because for 2,500, 779 00:28:46,011 --> 00:28:48,303 we can get your inventory set up, and we can play ball. 780 00:28:48,303 --> 00:28:49,512 We have 825. 781 00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:52,845 For 825, 782 00:28:52,845 --> 00:28:55,679 we can get your inventory set up, and we can play ball. 783 00:28:55,679 --> 00:28:57,929 So why don't you two follow me out to my 'Cedes? 784 00:28:57,929 --> 00:28:59,637 And we are gonna load you up. 785 00:28:59,637 --> 00:29:00,845 I still don't know what the product is. 786 00:29:00,845 --> 00:29:02,595 - What is Escargold? - Yeah. What does it do? 787 00:29:04,428 --> 00:29:05,762 ♪ rock music ♪ 788 00:29:05,762 --> 00:29:07,220 Now, I know what you're thinking: 789 00:29:07,220 --> 00:29:09,011 "This is just some Korean skincare fad." 790 00:29:09,011 --> 00:29:10,762 And the answer is no. 791 00:29:10,762 --> 00:29:13,303 Escargold eyepatches minimize wrinkles 792 00:29:13,303 --> 00:29:14,929 and de-puff eyes. 793 00:29:14,929 --> 00:29:17,261 [Veronica] Using a special ingredient-- 794 00:29:17,261 --> 00:29:20,136 snail mucus. 795 00:29:20,136 --> 00:29:22,053 Snail? Like slugs? 796 00:29:22,053 --> 00:29:23,261 No. 797 00:29:23,261 --> 00:29:25,470 Snail like expensive. 798 00:29:25,470 --> 00:29:26,804 - [Kev] Mm-hmm. - Very rare. 799 00:29:26,804 --> 00:29:28,345 [Kev] They're really popular all over Europe 800 00:29:28,345 --> 00:29:29,387 and parts of France, guys. 801 00:29:29,387 --> 00:29:30,845 They really do work. 802 00:29:30,845 --> 00:29:34,136 Ingredients are all-natural and organic. 803 00:29:34,136 --> 00:29:35,804 Yeah, 'cause they're snails. 804 00:29:35,804 --> 00:29:38,178 Free samples coming around. 805 00:29:38,178 --> 00:29:40,637 Once you try it, you are sure to buy a case 806 00:29:40,637 --> 00:29:42,762 for our special introductory price 807 00:29:42,762 --> 00:29:46,470 of $29.99. 808 00:29:46,470 --> 00:29:47,804 V, what the hell are we supposed to do again? 809 00:29:47,804 --> 00:29:49,637 Make a face story on graham cracker? 810 00:29:49,637 --> 00:29:51,970 Why don't you let me handle the social media? 811 00:29:51,970 --> 00:29:57,011 ♪♪♪ 812 00:29:57,011 --> 00:29:58,595 [camera shutter clicks] 813 00:29:58,595 --> 00:30:00,470 ♪ militaristic percussive music ♪ 814 00:30:00,470 --> 00:30:02,637 [keys clacking] 815 00:30:02,637 --> 00:30:05,053 Afternoon, sir. Name's Carl Gallagher. 816 00:30:05,053 --> 00:30:07,011 I'm here to join the police academy, 817 00:30:07,011 --> 00:30:09,345 dedicate my life to law enforcement, 818 00:30:09,345 --> 00:30:12,804 and here is my ID that says I'm 21. 819 00:30:12,804 --> 00:30:15,178 How old are you really, son? 820 00:30:15,178 --> 00:30:18,011 - How old do you need me to be? - The age you actually are. 821 00:30:18,011 --> 00:30:21,679 I'm 21. Just look at my ID. 822 00:30:21,679 --> 00:30:24,345 Well, this says your name is Lewis McGillicutty, Carl. 823 00:30:24,345 --> 00:30:27,762 Born 1947. 824 00:30:27,762 --> 00:30:29,387 But this just shows how much I want it. 825 00:30:29,387 --> 00:30:31,679 - Out. - [Carl] Oh, come on. 826 00:30:31,679 --> 00:30:33,929 How many minors do you get in here begging to join the force? 827 00:30:33,929 --> 00:30:36,512 Begging to make shit money and get called a pig? 828 00:30:36,512 --> 00:30:38,011 This is my calling. 829 00:30:38,011 --> 00:30:39,512 Punishing the oppressors of the underclass 830 00:30:39,512 --> 00:30:40,845 is what I'm all about. 831 00:30:40,845 --> 00:30:42,720 I have three skills to offer you, sir: 832 00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:44,845 I like to choke things, I'm good with weapons, 833 00:30:44,845 --> 00:30:46,595 and I got a buttload of rage in my heart. 834 00:30:46,595 --> 00:30:49,178 Hey, Cody. Come on out. 835 00:30:49,178 --> 00:30:50,679 What? 836 00:30:50,679 --> 00:30:52,220 Now, it's not exactly the academy, Carl, 837 00:30:52,220 --> 00:30:53,720 but it might be up your alley. 838 00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:56,220 Uh, this is Carl--I think he'd be a great candidate 839 00:30:56,220 --> 00:30:58,845 for the kids thing that we do. What are we calling it-- 840 00:30:58,845 --> 00:30:59,804 [Cody] what the hell you talking about? 841 00:30:59,804 --> 00:31:01,553 The youth thing we do for-- 842 00:31:01,553 --> 00:31:03,553 uh, mentorship for the teenagers. 843 00:31:03,553 --> 00:31:04,804 Oh, we're still doing that bullshit? 844 00:31:04,804 --> 00:31:07,804 It's called the Youth Committee 845 00:31:07,804 --> 00:31:11,095 to Investigate Youthful Comm-- uh, something like that. 846 00:31:11,095 --> 00:31:12,804 Yeah, that's it. 847 00:31:12,804 --> 00:31:14,053 And it's for students who are interested 848 00:31:14,053 --> 00:31:15,428 in a career in law enforcement. 849 00:31:15,428 --> 00:31:17,553 I'm interested. What does it entail, sir? 850 00:31:17,553 --> 00:31:20,261 Eh, not much, just a couple hours after school every week. 851 00:31:20,261 --> 00:31:22,011 Um... 852 00:31:22,011 --> 00:31:24,387 there's usually a flash grenade demonstration at some point. 853 00:31:24,387 --> 00:31:26,637 Flash grenades? What about real grenades? 854 00:31:26,637 --> 00:31:29,053 Oh, he's gonna fit right in. 855 00:31:31,220 --> 00:31:32,970 [news anchor] In today's segment 856 00:31:32,970 --> 00:31:34,929 - of "Snowflake Central"... - [door closes] 857 00:31:34,929 --> 00:31:38,136 ...we focus on the latest victim of the liberal agenda-- 858 00:31:38,136 --> 00:31:40,136 an elementary-school gun show. 859 00:31:40,136 --> 00:31:41,929 Dallas resident Sandra Benson 860 00:31:41,929 --> 00:31:43,136 was looking forward to sharing... 861 00:31:43,136 --> 00:31:44,553 [sweetly] Hey. 862 00:31:44,553 --> 00:31:46,804 Hi, hi, hi, hi. 863 00:31:46,804 --> 00:31:47,929 [news anchor] ...a fourth grader who couldn't wait... 864 00:31:47,929 --> 00:31:50,387 Uh, hello? 865 00:31:50,387 --> 00:31:53,011 Oh, hello. Aunt Oopie here. 866 00:31:53,011 --> 00:31:54,595 - [Lip] Hey. - Not gonna call you Lip. 867 00:31:54,595 --> 00:31:56,428 Hope that's okay. 868 00:31:56,428 --> 00:31:58,804 Gonna call you by your lovely God-given name, Phillip. 869 00:31:58,804 --> 00:31:59,845 Okay. 870 00:31:59,845 --> 00:32:01,387 - After the prophet. - Right. 871 00:32:01,387 --> 00:32:03,261 Oopie Tamietti at your service. 872 00:32:03,261 --> 00:32:04,804 Is that O-O-O-pie? 873 00:32:04,804 --> 00:32:07,553 No, it's Oopie. Like "loopy." 874 00:32:07,553 --> 00:32:08,595 [chuckling] Okay. 875 00:32:08,595 --> 00:32:09,804 Uh, well, thank you-- 876 00:32:09,804 --> 00:32:11,845 thanks for watching Fred for us, you know? 877 00:32:11,845 --> 00:32:14,220 Honestly, I'm just so happy to be able to spend time 878 00:32:14,220 --> 00:32:16,470 with that creamy little Alfredo sauce! 879 00:32:16,470 --> 00:32:17,637 - Yeah. - He's the best baby on Earth. 880 00:32:17,637 --> 00:32:19,011 He is. 881 00:32:19,011 --> 00:32:20,804 He is. Um, has he been resting long? 882 00:32:20,804 --> 00:32:23,428 - I'd say about 40 minutes. - Okay. 883 00:32:23,428 --> 00:32:25,720 Uh, so I did two loads of laundry, 884 00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:27,970 - caught up on my Hannity... - I saw that. 885 00:32:27,970 --> 00:32:29,804 ...roasted a chicken for supper, and made sweet rolls. 886 00:32:29,804 --> 00:32:31,387 Do you like sweet rolls, Phillip? 887 00:32:31,387 --> 00:32:33,804 Come on. Sit down. 888 00:32:33,804 --> 00:32:36,512 You've had a long day at work, I'm sure. 889 00:32:36,512 --> 00:32:38,637 Have a seat. 890 00:32:38,637 --> 00:32:42,136 So listen, I have to insist 891 00:32:42,136 --> 00:32:44,970 that Fred not go back to that filthy daycare center. 892 00:32:44,970 --> 00:32:46,512 Oh. 893 00:32:46,512 --> 00:32:50,470 Because why would he, when Aunt Oopie is free? 894 00:32:50,470 --> 00:32:52,970 Yeah, I just--Tami and I, we should really, uh, 895 00:32:52,970 --> 00:32:53,804 - maybe discuss-- - Here. Try this. 896 00:32:53,804 --> 00:32:55,136 You're gonna love it, Phillip. 897 00:32:55,136 --> 00:32:56,845 - [Lip mumbles] - Am I right? 898 00:32:56,845 --> 00:32:58,679 - Am I right or am I right? - Mmm. 899 00:32:58,679 --> 00:33:00,679 Yeah, you're--you're right. 900 00:33:03,220 --> 00:33:04,595 That's delicious. 901 00:33:05,553 --> 00:33:07,845 [door opens] 902 00:33:07,845 --> 00:33:09,512 Here we are... 903 00:33:09,512 --> 00:33:11,053 the master bedroom. 904 00:33:11,053 --> 00:33:12,970 This is full of promise. 905 00:33:12,970 --> 00:33:15,178 [gasps] 906 00:33:15,178 --> 00:33:17,178 Jesus H Christ in Heaven, my Lord, 907 00:33:17,178 --> 00:33:18,387 thank You for this gift 908 00:33:18,387 --> 00:33:19,679 - of daily stuff. - [door closes] 909 00:33:19,679 --> 00:33:22,095 He organized them by year and distillery. 910 00:33:24,011 --> 00:33:26,595 His lifelong passion. 911 00:33:26,595 --> 00:33:28,512 This one... 912 00:33:28,512 --> 00:33:31,845 - looks really old. - [scotch pouring] 913 00:33:33,512 --> 00:33:35,595 This is the scary room? 914 00:33:35,595 --> 00:33:37,095 [scoffs] 915 00:33:37,095 --> 00:33:40,011 There's nothing in here. A bed and some air. 916 00:33:40,011 --> 00:33:42,345 That's 'cause you're not on the bed. 917 00:33:42,345 --> 00:33:44,637 - That's where they torment. - Uh... 918 00:33:44,637 --> 00:33:45,970 Cheers, to us. 919 00:33:48,887 --> 00:33:49,845 This bed? 920 00:33:54,595 --> 00:33:56,053 Nothing here. [laughs] 921 00:33:56,053 --> 00:33:57,929 I'll take another one, doll. 922 00:33:57,929 --> 00:34:00,053 That's 'cause you have to lie on the bed. 923 00:34:00,053 --> 00:34:01,553 - Ah. - Close your eyes. 924 00:34:01,553 --> 00:34:02,887 You'll see. 925 00:34:04,428 --> 00:34:06,011 Mm. 926 00:34:06,011 --> 00:34:07,136 Eh? 927 00:34:10,720 --> 00:34:14,011 - Now lay very still. - Okay. 928 00:34:14,011 --> 00:34:16,053 - Don't move a muscle. - [chuckles] 929 00:34:16,053 --> 00:34:18,637 Eyes shut tight. 930 00:34:18,637 --> 00:34:20,303 And listen. 931 00:34:20,303 --> 00:34:23,595 - [handcuff clicks] - [Frank chuckles] 932 00:34:23,595 --> 00:34:26,345 - [Faye] You hear that? - [Frank] Mm-hmm. 933 00:34:26,345 --> 00:34:29,178 [chuckles] I think you may have scared the spirits away. 934 00:34:29,178 --> 00:34:31,261 ♪ exciting music ♪ 935 00:34:31,261 --> 00:34:34,261 Do you like to play, Frank? 936 00:34:34,261 --> 00:34:36,553 [Frank laughs] 937 00:34:36,553 --> 00:34:37,679 Mm-hmm. 938 00:34:37,679 --> 00:34:38,679 Then let's play. 939 00:34:38,679 --> 00:34:40,679 ♪♪♪ 940 00:34:40,679 --> 00:34:41,470 Open your eyes. 941 00:34:41,470 --> 00:34:44,303 ♪♪♪ 942 00:34:44,303 --> 00:34:45,929 What? 943 00:34:45,929 --> 00:34:46,929 Boo! 944 00:34:46,929 --> 00:34:49,136 ♪♪♪ 945 00:34:49,136 --> 00:34:53,720 [crowd shouting] 946 00:34:53,720 --> 00:34:57,345 Whoo! 947 00:34:57,345 --> 00:34:58,929 [whistle blows] 948 00:34:58,929 --> 00:35:01,637 ♪ rousing hip-hop music ♪ 949 00:35:01,637 --> 00:35:06,553 ♪♪♪ 950 00:35:09,679 --> 00:35:12,512 [shouting continues] 951 00:35:12,512 --> 00:35:15,804 [crowd, chanting] Todd! Todd! Todd! Todd! 952 00:35:15,804 --> 00:35:18,303 - You're Todd's manager, right? - Guilty. 953 00:35:18,303 --> 00:35:20,303 His kneeling photo is blowing up. 954 00:35:20,303 --> 00:35:22,387 120,000 likes already. 955 00:35:22,387 --> 00:35:24,470 And Jay-Z commented, "We're past this." 956 00:35:24,470 --> 00:35:26,637 Your guy is famous. 957 00:35:26,637 --> 00:35:28,136 Well, it's easy to represent 958 00:35:28,136 --> 00:35:30,553 someone who takes such a strong stand. 959 00:35:30,553 --> 00:35:32,303 ♪♪♪ 960 00:35:32,303 --> 00:35:34,178 [buzzer sounds] 961 00:35:34,178 --> 00:35:35,720 What are you doing after the game? 962 00:35:35,720 --> 00:35:36,595 Excuse me, ladies. 963 00:35:36,595 --> 00:35:38,637 Business calls. 964 00:35:38,637 --> 00:35:40,303 Dude, you're trending. 965 00:35:40,303 --> 00:35:42,762 Time to decide what you took a knee for. 966 00:35:42,762 --> 00:35:44,178 - Huh? - Lots of options. 967 00:35:44,178 --> 00:35:46,845 Race, Trump, being poor, 968 00:35:46,845 --> 00:35:48,970 bad food in schools, kids with leukemia. 969 00:35:48,970 --> 00:35:50,470 Got to pick. 970 00:35:50,470 --> 00:35:51,887 I was just fixing my shoes. 971 00:35:51,887 --> 00:35:54,428 You want sponsorships or not? 972 00:35:54,428 --> 00:35:56,553 Thanks. 973 00:35:56,553 --> 00:35:58,011 Thanks for meeting up with me. 974 00:35:58,011 --> 00:36:00,428 No problem. Let me just take my Plan B. 975 00:36:00,428 --> 00:36:02,011 Totally screwed the pooch last night. 976 00:36:04,970 --> 00:36:06,512 A guy I boned was legit poor. 977 00:36:06,512 --> 00:36:08,303 Like, works at goddamn Macy's 978 00:36:08,303 --> 00:36:10,804 and is not even associate manager. 979 00:36:10,804 --> 00:36:12,553 His tie had a snipped-in-half label on the back. 980 00:36:12,553 --> 00:36:14,845 Fuck my life. 981 00:36:14,845 --> 00:36:17,220 How about you? How'd you make out? 982 00:36:17,220 --> 00:36:21,095 Yeah. So that's what I wanted to talk to you about. 983 00:36:21,095 --> 00:36:23,011 I think I might be a prostitute. 984 00:36:23,011 --> 00:36:24,637 Yas, queen! 985 00:36:24,637 --> 00:36:27,303 So I didn't go off with that old rich guy last night. 986 00:36:27,303 --> 00:36:30,220 I met someone else. Her name is Claudia. 987 00:36:30,220 --> 00:36:31,887 We went up to her room and hooked up, 988 00:36:31,887 --> 00:36:35,220 and now she's buying me dresses and giving me cash 989 00:36:35,220 --> 00:36:37,387 and gonna take me to a nice dinner. 990 00:36:37,387 --> 00:36:38,845 I'm really conflicted. 991 00:36:38,845 --> 00:36:41,261 You hit the jackpot. 992 00:36:41,261 --> 00:36:42,387 Or... 993 00:36:42,387 --> 00:36:43,804 the mother lode. 994 00:36:43,804 --> 00:36:45,470 Get it? 995 00:36:45,470 --> 00:36:46,929 You don't think it's a little slutty? 996 00:36:46,929 --> 00:36:49,178 Having a sugar mama? Fuck, no. 997 00:36:49,178 --> 00:36:51,303 It is a true unicorn. 998 00:36:51,303 --> 00:36:53,720 You got no dusty dicks. No dangling balls. 999 00:36:53,720 --> 00:36:55,679 You get actual orgasms all night. 1000 00:36:55,679 --> 00:36:57,303 You ride her 1001 00:36:57,303 --> 00:36:59,178 all the way to a college fund for Franny, girl. 1002 00:36:59,178 --> 00:37:02,220 ♪ quirky music ♪ 1003 00:37:02,220 --> 00:37:03,261 ♪♪♪ 1004 00:37:03,261 --> 00:37:05,345 [whimpering] I look like a rabid raccoon. 1005 00:37:05,345 --> 00:37:07,929 [shouts] My eyes! 1006 00:37:07,929 --> 00:37:10,178 The pain comes in waves! 1007 00:37:10,178 --> 00:37:12,428 Your snail piss burned our skin off! 1008 00:37:12,428 --> 00:37:13,595 [groans] 1009 00:37:13,595 --> 00:37:14,470 [man] Fuck! 1010 00:37:14,470 --> 00:37:16,303 This sucks! 1011 00:37:16,303 --> 00:37:18,011 We hear your concerns. 1012 00:37:18,011 --> 00:37:20,220 Obviously, we have the same concerns 1013 00:37:20,220 --> 00:37:22,095 about our product as you do. 1014 00:37:24,011 --> 00:37:26,095 Aloe gel coming around. 1015 00:37:26,095 --> 00:37:29,428 Put it on the burned area with our deep apologies. 1016 00:37:29,428 --> 00:37:31,470 You need to call that bitch back again. 1017 00:37:31,470 --> 00:37:33,261 We got to return this shit and get our money back. 1018 00:37:33,261 --> 00:37:34,679 I have called her 20 times. 1019 00:37:34,679 --> 00:37:36,345 She keeps sending us to voice mail. 1020 00:37:36,345 --> 00:37:38,595 Give me the phone--I know how to get her coward ass here. 1021 00:37:38,595 --> 00:37:40,512 [groans] 1022 00:37:40,512 --> 00:37:42,845 "Girl, we need more product. Sold out inventory." 1023 00:37:42,845 --> 00:37:44,553 Smiley face emoji. 1024 00:37:44,553 --> 00:37:48,011 - [message app swooshes] - [customers groan] 1025 00:37:48,011 --> 00:37:50,261 She's coming right over. 1026 00:37:50,261 --> 00:37:52,595 [groans] 1027 00:37:52,595 --> 00:37:55,095 Uh, you know, we usually just kind of all grab something 1028 00:37:55,095 --> 00:37:57,178 and eat clustered around the sink. 1029 00:37:57,178 --> 00:37:59,428 Well, that's a bunch of crazy. 1030 00:37:59,428 --> 00:38:02,345 You want to keep this great country of ours great, 1031 00:38:02,345 --> 00:38:04,679 it starts at the home, 1032 00:38:04,679 --> 00:38:06,261 with prayers to our Lord Jesus 1033 00:38:06,261 --> 00:38:08,178 - and three square meals a day. - [door opens] 1034 00:38:08,178 --> 00:38:09,845 [door closes] 1035 00:38:09,845 --> 00:38:12,303 - [Tami] Hello! - Hey! 1036 00:38:12,303 --> 00:38:13,970 - [Oopie squeals happily] - Hi. Oopie! 1037 00:38:13,970 --> 00:38:16,553 Little Tami! Oh, my goodness. 1038 00:38:16,553 --> 00:38:19,220 I love this baby so much. 1039 00:38:19,220 --> 00:38:20,679 And this man of yours-- 1040 00:38:20,679 --> 00:38:22,470 a fixer-upper, for sure... 1041 00:38:22,470 --> 00:38:25,303 [whispering] ...but that house has good bones. 1042 00:38:25,303 --> 00:38:26,804 Well, thank you so much for coming 1043 00:38:26,804 --> 00:38:28,095 on such short notice, Aunt Oopie. 1044 00:38:28,095 --> 00:38:30,804 Of course, honeybun. Now, let's see. 1045 00:38:30,804 --> 00:38:33,178 Fred has probably got another hour or so 1046 00:38:33,178 --> 00:38:35,220 before I wake him up for supper. 1047 00:38:35,220 --> 00:38:37,345 - Okay. - I can do bath time. 1048 00:38:37,345 --> 00:38:41,011 So why don't you two go have a date? 1049 00:38:41,011 --> 00:38:42,345 Aunt Oopie's got everything covered here. 1050 00:38:42,345 --> 00:38:44,261 - Date? - A date? 1051 00:38:44,261 --> 00:38:46,720 Yeah. Or a nap or just an adult conversation. 1052 00:38:46,720 --> 00:38:48,595 Go on, now. 1053 00:38:48,595 --> 00:38:50,637 I'm gonna teach Fred and that little colored boy 1054 00:38:50,637 --> 00:38:53,261 about the Gettysburg Address after supper. 1055 00:38:53,261 --> 00:38:55,095 I'm sorry. Wha-what was that part? 1056 00:38:55,095 --> 00:38:56,136 - A date. - She just-- 1057 00:38:56,136 --> 00:38:57,595 - A date. - No, I heard-- 1058 00:38:57,595 --> 00:38:58,929 That's great. Thanks, Aunt Oopie. 1059 00:38:58,929 --> 00:39:00,595 Go on, now. Enjoy yourselves. 1060 00:39:00,595 --> 00:39:01,679 - No, see, the other part-- - It's good to go out 1061 00:39:01,679 --> 00:39:02,929 and participate in the economy 1062 00:39:02,929 --> 00:39:04,178 so we don't have to give handouts 1063 00:39:04,178 --> 00:39:05,845 to those welfare cheats and... 1064 00:39:05,845 --> 00:39:07,428 - [Tami] Okay! - ...illegal immigrants. 1065 00:39:07,428 --> 00:39:08,762 - Yeah. I just-- - All right. Bye. 1066 00:39:08,762 --> 00:39:10,220 Please. Come on. 1067 00:39:10,220 --> 00:39:12,345 - Have fun. - [door closes] 1068 00:39:12,345 --> 00:39:14,887 ♪ rock music ♪ 1069 00:39:14,887 --> 00:39:16,720 [door opens] 1070 00:39:16,720 --> 00:39:21,553 ♪♪♪ 1071 00:39:21,553 --> 00:39:22,720 Hey. 1072 00:39:22,720 --> 00:39:24,970 - Hey. - [groans] 1073 00:39:24,970 --> 00:39:25,804 Thanks for meeting me. 1074 00:39:27,845 --> 00:39:28,970 Yeah. Sure thing, Formal. 1075 00:39:28,970 --> 00:39:30,220 [chuckles stiffly] 1076 00:39:30,220 --> 00:39:31,720 Let's order. I'm fucking starving. 1077 00:39:31,720 --> 00:39:34,387 [clears throat] 1078 00:39:34,387 --> 00:39:37,136 You, uh, get your new PO assignment? 1079 00:39:37,136 --> 00:39:38,595 I'm back with Larry fucking Seaver-- 1080 00:39:38,595 --> 00:39:39,887 I think we should get married. 1081 00:39:41,845 --> 00:39:43,053 What? 1082 00:39:43,053 --> 00:39:45,303 We should get married. 1083 00:39:45,303 --> 00:39:47,970 Then we can't testify against each other... 1084 00:39:47,970 --> 00:39:50,220 in a court of law. 1085 00:39:50,220 --> 00:39:53,178 You know, in case one of us, uh... 1086 00:39:53,178 --> 00:39:55,428 had something on the other. 1087 00:39:57,220 --> 00:39:59,178 It's called spousal privilege. 1088 00:39:59,178 --> 00:40:01,929 Yeah. Yeah. I, uh, heard of it. 1089 00:40:01,929 --> 00:40:03,136 It's for both of our protection, you know? 1090 00:40:03,136 --> 00:40:05,804 Just help us keep things clean, 1091 00:40:05,804 --> 00:40:07,845 help us toe the line a little bit. 1092 00:40:07,845 --> 00:40:09,762 So what are you thinking? 1093 00:40:09,762 --> 00:40:12,178 I think staying out of jail's a crap reason to get married. 1094 00:40:12,178 --> 00:40:13,470 No. We fucking love each other. 1095 00:40:13,470 --> 00:40:15,929 That's why we're gonna get married. 1096 00:40:15,929 --> 00:40:19,011 The legal stuff, it's just...bonus. 1097 00:40:19,011 --> 00:40:20,929 I mean, this is marriage, though, man. 1098 00:40:20,929 --> 00:40:24,345 It's kind of a...big step, don't you think? 1099 00:40:25,845 --> 00:40:27,220 I love you. 1100 00:40:27,220 --> 00:40:28,762 ♪ stirring guitar music ♪ 1101 00:40:28,762 --> 00:40:31,095 And... 1102 00:40:31,095 --> 00:40:32,845 and I trust you. 1103 00:40:32,845 --> 00:40:37,595 ♪♪♪ 1104 00:40:37,595 --> 00:40:40,303 Do you love and trust me, too? 1105 00:40:40,303 --> 00:40:43,720 ♪♪♪ 1106 00:40:43,720 --> 00:40:46,303 - [chuckling] Jesus Christ. - [hand thuds] 1107 00:40:46,303 --> 00:40:47,970 Okay. 1108 00:40:47,970 --> 00:40:50,220 So maybe this decision isn't that hard. 1109 00:40:50,220 --> 00:40:51,762 Jesus Christ. 1110 00:40:51,762 --> 00:40:54,136 You proposing to me over fucking patty melts? 1111 00:40:54,136 --> 00:40:56,637 Yeah. I guess I am. 1112 00:40:58,261 --> 00:40:59,929 So what do you say? You want to fit it in? 1113 00:41:01,303 --> 00:41:03,637 Fuck it. I do. 1114 00:41:03,637 --> 00:41:08,095 ♪♪♪ 1115 00:41:09,428 --> 00:41:12,053 There he is. The slayer! 1116 00:41:12,053 --> 00:41:13,387 - Way to slay. - [door closes] 1117 00:41:13,387 --> 00:41:15,553 I got you six more cases, you killer. 1118 00:41:15,553 --> 00:41:18,345 Well, psych! 'Cause we don't want any more. 1119 00:41:18,345 --> 00:41:19,595 [Veronica] You burned our customers' faces off. 1120 00:41:19,595 --> 00:41:21,762 Look at 'em. Like a bunch of linebackers. 1121 00:41:21,762 --> 00:41:23,512 We want a full refund, and we want it now. 1122 00:41:26,637 --> 00:41:28,428 You know, as I always tell my teammates, 1123 00:41:28,428 --> 00:41:30,595 a life in sales means good days and bad. 1124 00:41:30,595 --> 00:41:32,595 Sometimes your products 1125 00:41:32,595 --> 00:41:33,220 are just gonna fly off the shelves, and other times-- 1126 00:41:33,220 --> 00:41:34,970 Oh, cut the shit, Tessa. 1127 00:41:34,970 --> 00:41:37,345 Our eyes feel like liquid molten lava. 1128 00:41:37,345 --> 00:41:39,970 Eight hundred and twenty-five dollars, now. 1129 00:41:40,804 --> 00:41:42,345 Look, I really want to give you guys your money back, 1130 00:41:42,345 --> 00:41:44,178 but the thing is, 1131 00:41:44,178 --> 00:41:45,804 my hands are tied. 1132 00:41:45,804 --> 00:41:47,428 There are absolutely no refunds of Escargold. 1133 00:41:47,428 --> 00:41:49,762 It is a firm company policy. 1134 00:41:49,762 --> 00:41:52,345 And you two did... 1135 00:41:52,345 --> 00:41:54,011 e-sign the agreement. 1136 00:41:54,011 --> 00:41:55,762 [Kev sighs] 1137 00:41:55,762 --> 00:41:58,720 What the fuck are we gonna do with nine cases of slug burn? 1138 00:41:58,720 --> 00:42:01,303 I don't know. Be inventive. 1139 00:42:04,345 --> 00:42:06,387 [sighs] Here we go. 1140 00:42:06,387 --> 00:42:08,887 These are the Youths Discovering Leadership Laws 1141 00:42:08,887 --> 00:42:11,261 or whatever. 1142 00:42:11,261 --> 00:42:14,553 Youths! This is Carl. 1143 00:42:14,553 --> 00:42:16,053 [Carl] Whoa. 1144 00:42:16,053 --> 00:42:17,553 What the shit is this? 1145 00:42:17,553 --> 00:42:19,720 Our youth leader program. 1146 00:42:19,720 --> 00:42:21,887 Uh, that's Wilder, 1147 00:42:21,887 --> 00:42:23,136 Hemingway, 1148 00:42:23,136 --> 00:42:24,512 Penelope, Hunter-- 1149 00:42:24,512 --> 00:42:26,720 - Stop. - [camera shutter clicks] 1150 00:42:26,720 --> 00:42:28,136 These are our future police? 1151 00:42:28,136 --> 00:42:30,428 Mm, doubt it. 1152 00:42:30,428 --> 00:42:32,762 Uh, most do it for their college applications. 1153 00:42:32,762 --> 00:42:36,428 They put it next to ski club, yearbook committee.. 1154 00:42:36,428 --> 00:42:38,303 - Oh, no, no, no. - ...Habitat for Humanity-- 1155 00:42:38,303 --> 00:42:40,095 Who's in charge here? 1156 00:42:40,095 --> 00:42:42,637 Well, we had a lieutenant running things for a while, 1157 00:42:42,637 --> 00:42:44,845 but he's out recovering from a heart attack. 1158 00:42:44,845 --> 00:42:47,929 So, for now, they're kind of on their own. 1159 00:42:47,929 --> 00:42:51,679 ♪ dramatic Western music ♪ 1160 00:42:51,679 --> 00:42:53,553 [Carl] Just give me 24 hours with them, sir. 1161 00:42:53,553 --> 00:42:55,679 I'll whip 'em into shape. 1162 00:42:55,679 --> 00:42:58,261 ♪♪♪ 1163 00:43:13,637 --> 00:43:16,804 [cell phone chimes] 1164 00:43:16,804 --> 00:43:19,178 Hey, uh, I don't think we're supposed to... 1165 00:43:19,178 --> 00:43:21,512 Hold up. I got a link from Larry. 1166 00:43:21,512 --> 00:43:23,136 [news anchor] In what now appears 1167 00:43:23,136 --> 00:43:25,178 to have been a lover's quarrel, 1168 00:43:25,178 --> 00:43:26,804 Michelle "Shelly" Demeter has been arrested and charged 1169 00:43:26,804 --> 00:43:28,220 for the aggravated murder of Paula Bitterman. 1170 00:43:28,220 --> 00:43:30,428 What the fuck? 1171 00:43:30,428 --> 00:43:31,887 [anchor] An eyewitness account has confirmed that Demeter... 1172 00:43:31,887 --> 00:43:33,720 Wait. Is that the lady from the ambulance company? 1173 00:43:33,720 --> 00:43:36,095 [anchor] Bitterman was just 47 years old. 1174 00:43:36,095 --> 00:43:37,679 You didn't kill Paula. 1175 00:43:37,679 --> 00:43:39,220 I told you I didn't. I thought you killed Paula. 1176 00:43:39,220 --> 00:43:40,720 Told you I didn't. 1177 00:43:40,720 --> 00:43:42,428 But you kept talking about how you wanted her dead. 1178 00:43:42,428 --> 00:43:43,845 You said you wanted her dead, too, 1179 00:43:43,845 --> 00:43:45,637 and then you were with your fucking dad all night. 1180 00:43:45,637 --> 00:43:47,261 Doesn't mean I just went and murdered somebody. 1181 00:43:47,261 --> 00:43:48,720 I just got out of prison. 1182 00:43:48,720 --> 00:43:50,512 I just got out of prison, too. 1183 00:43:50,512 --> 00:43:55,095 Mr. Gallagher and Mr. Milkovich? 1184 00:43:55,095 --> 00:43:58,136 ♪ rock music ♪ 1185 00:43:58,136 --> 00:44:00,178 ♪♪♪ 1186 00:44:00,178 --> 00:44:01,637 Mr. Gallagher and Mr. Milkovich. 1187 00:44:01,637 --> 00:44:04,261 - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. 1188 00:44:04,261 --> 00:44:09,303 ♪♪♪ 1189 00:44:09,303 --> 00:44:13,679 Okay, everybody, time to think outside the snail box. 1190 00:44:13,679 --> 00:44:15,512 What could we use these guys for? 1191 00:44:15,512 --> 00:44:17,595 What secret use do they have? 1192 00:44:17,595 --> 00:44:19,053 Garbage can liner. 1193 00:44:19,053 --> 00:44:21,679 [laughter] 1194 00:44:21,679 --> 00:44:26,929 For a 10% cut of our total sales, 1195 00:44:26,929 --> 00:44:29,720 what else could these little gold bitches be used for? 1196 00:44:29,720 --> 00:44:32,011 All right? Best idea wins. 1197 00:44:32,011 --> 00:44:34,303 Come on, guys. Be creative. 1198 00:44:34,303 --> 00:44:36,178 They're small and sparkly. 1199 00:44:36,178 --> 00:44:38,637 They reduce puffiness and cause burning. 1200 00:44:38,637 --> 00:44:40,512 Mm, might work for herpes. 1201 00:44:40,512 --> 00:44:42,261 I hear herpes. Do I have a counter? 1202 00:44:42,261 --> 00:44:44,053 Well, if you put 16 of them on your chest, 1203 00:44:44,053 --> 00:44:45,387 it'll help you quit smoking. 1204 00:44:45,387 --> 00:44:47,387 - Okay, good. - Glue stick. 1205 00:44:47,387 --> 00:44:48,929 - Paint thinner. - Just smoke the shit. 1206 00:44:48,929 --> 00:44:50,887 Cure for snoring, 'cause your nose is burned off. 1207 00:44:50,887 --> 00:44:52,512 I like it, yeah. What else? 1208 00:44:52,512 --> 00:44:53,970 What's the main ingredient in 'em? 1209 00:44:53,970 --> 00:44:56,887 Uh, Korean, Korean, Korean, and caffeine. 1210 00:44:56,887 --> 00:44:58,720 Caffeine? 1211 00:44:58,720 --> 00:45:01,095 That's the main ingredient in Preparation H. 1212 00:45:01,095 --> 00:45:04,136 Not that I know anything about hemorrhoids, 1213 00:45:04,136 --> 00:45:06,303 because I do not. 1214 00:45:06,303 --> 00:45:07,845 [clears throat] 1215 00:45:10,553 --> 00:45:12,303 I can't believe you thought I did it! 1216 00:45:12,303 --> 00:45:13,762 I can't believe you thought I did it. 1217 00:45:13,762 --> 00:45:15,470 I'm not the one fucking prone to murder here. 1218 00:45:15,470 --> 00:45:16,720 "Prone to m--" 1219 00:45:16,720 --> 00:45:19,804 Name me one person I've murdered! 1220 00:45:21,303 --> 00:45:23,095 Is this the only reason you proposed to me? 1221 00:45:23,095 --> 00:45:24,387 - No. - It is. 1222 00:45:24,387 --> 00:45:25,845 'Cause you thought I was fucking guilty. 1223 00:45:25,845 --> 00:45:27,512 There's plenty of fucking reasons. 1224 00:45:27,512 --> 00:45:29,136 But, yeah, I'd say it came up today 1225 00:45:29,136 --> 00:45:30,929 'cause not testifying against you is 1226 00:45:30,929 --> 00:45:33,261 a pretty big plus, Mickey. 1227 00:45:33,261 --> 00:45:36,595 So, uh, Misters Gallagher and Milkovich, 1228 00:45:36,595 --> 00:45:40,595 um, shall I proceed with the marriage license application? 1229 00:45:40,595 --> 00:45:42,929 Yeah, please, proceed. 1230 00:45:42,929 --> 00:45:44,428 Okay, great. 1231 00:45:44,428 --> 00:45:46,595 So, Mr. Milkovich, if you could just sign 1232 00:45:46,595 --> 00:45:48,387 right on that line there. 1233 00:45:50,553 --> 00:45:52,845 And now, Mr. Gallagher. 1234 00:45:55,804 --> 00:45:57,804 - Just sign... - [both] Yep. 1235 00:45:57,804 --> 00:45:59,303 Yep, right on that line right there. 1236 00:45:59,303 --> 00:46:00,929 That's good. 1237 00:46:02,387 --> 00:46:04,053 Mr. Gallagher? 1238 00:46:04,053 --> 00:46:07,220 ♪ bluesy rock music ♪ 1239 00:46:07,220 --> 00:46:09,428 [pen clatters] 1240 00:46:09,428 --> 00:46:11,303 - You're fucking kidding. - Can we just talk for-- 1241 00:46:11,303 --> 00:46:12,929 Fuck. 1242 00:46:12,929 --> 00:46:15,136 Hey, can we have our paperwork back, please? 1243 00:46:15,136 --> 00:46:16,762 Sorry, sorry to waste your time. 1244 00:46:16,762 --> 00:46:19,011 Hey, Mickey! 1245 00:46:19,011 --> 00:46:24,095 ♪♪♪ 1246 00:46:24,095 --> 00:46:28,345 [indistinct chatter] 1247 00:46:28,345 --> 00:46:30,595 Hey. 1248 00:46:30,595 --> 00:46:33,845 Hey. Oh, did the silk dress not fit? 1249 00:46:33,845 --> 00:46:35,261 Uh... [chuckles] 1250 00:46:35,261 --> 00:46:38,470 Look, Claudia, I really like free gifts and free money-- 1251 00:46:38,470 --> 00:46:41,261 Oh, good, because I have one more thing 1252 00:46:41,261 --> 00:46:42,512 I'd like you to have. 1253 00:46:42,512 --> 00:46:44,178 What's this? 1254 00:46:44,178 --> 00:46:47,512 Just open it. 1255 00:46:47,512 --> 00:46:49,053 It's a luggage tag. 1256 00:46:49,053 --> 00:46:50,762 You put your name and address on there, 1257 00:46:50,762 --> 00:46:51,679 and then you attach it to your luggage, 1258 00:46:51,679 --> 00:46:54,261 which you should pack, because... 1259 00:46:54,261 --> 00:46:56,679 [imitating drumroll] 1260 00:46:56,679 --> 00:47:00,095 We're going on a girls' trip to Kennebunkport. 1261 00:47:00,095 --> 00:47:01,679 Beach weekend. 1262 00:47:01,679 --> 00:47:06,220 [scoffs] I don't even own a suitcase. 1263 00:47:06,220 --> 00:47:09,929 But even if I did, it's hard for me to accept this from you. 1264 00:47:09,929 --> 00:47:11,929 It's all making me feel like a prostitute. 1265 00:47:11,929 --> 00:47:14,595 Oh, God, uh, come here. Sit down. 1266 00:47:14,595 --> 00:47:17,679 I am--I am so, so sorry. 1267 00:47:17,679 --> 00:47:20,679 Uh, that was not my intention at all. 1268 00:47:20,679 --> 00:47:22,970 I-I mean, yes, I did think you were a prostitute 1269 00:47:22,970 --> 00:47:24,512 when I picked you up on Ho Corner, 1270 00:47:24,512 --> 00:47:28,428 but I see now that you are much more than that. 1271 00:47:28,428 --> 00:47:30,387 Uh... 1272 00:47:30,387 --> 00:47:32,887 You make me feel 1273 00:47:32,887 --> 00:47:36,345 all flustered and tongue-tied and-- 1274 00:47:36,345 --> 00:47:41,261 [sighs] I am sorry about the gifts. 1275 00:47:41,261 --> 00:47:44,720 The truth is, it's the only way I know how to show affection. 1276 00:47:44,720 --> 00:47:46,970 I am working on it with my therapist 1277 00:47:46,970 --> 00:47:48,762 because my father was a withholding narcissist, 1278 00:47:48,762 --> 00:47:51,720 but, truly, I am sorry. 1279 00:47:51,720 --> 00:47:53,553 [sighs] 1280 00:47:53,553 --> 00:47:55,261 [Debbie] No. 1281 00:47:55,261 --> 00:47:57,512 Hey, I-I'm sorry, too. 1282 00:47:57,512 --> 00:47:59,970 I can see you were just trying to be nice. 1283 00:47:59,970 --> 00:48:02,178 And trust me, I'm fucked up, too. 1284 00:48:02,178 --> 00:48:04,887 I see your withholding narcissist parent 1285 00:48:04,887 --> 00:48:07,553 and raise you a set of drug-addicted alcoholics. 1286 00:48:07,553 --> 00:48:08,887 [both chuckle] 1287 00:48:08,887 --> 00:48:12,804 Let's have a true do-over. 1288 00:48:12,804 --> 00:48:14,679 We could even go dutch on dinner. 1289 00:48:14,679 --> 00:48:17,929 Does dutch mean that you'll pay? 1290 00:48:17,929 --> 00:48:19,929 'Cause I doubt I could afford anything at this restaurant. 1291 00:48:19,929 --> 00:48:21,679 [both laugh] 1292 00:48:21,679 --> 00:48:24,720 [door creaking] 1293 00:48:27,428 --> 00:48:29,929 [groans] 1294 00:48:29,929 --> 00:48:32,095 Do you remember Kyle Holmes, Frank? 1295 00:48:32,095 --> 00:48:33,470 What? Where am I? 1296 00:48:33,470 --> 00:48:35,428 Why does my head hurt? 1297 00:48:35,428 --> 00:48:36,679 I drugged your scotch. 1298 00:48:36,679 --> 00:48:38,804 That's Holmes, Frank. 1299 00:48:38,804 --> 00:48:41,887 H-O-L-M-E-S. 1300 00:48:41,887 --> 00:48:43,595 What? 1301 00:48:43,595 --> 00:48:46,762 Do you remember Kyle Holmes, Frank? 1302 00:48:46,762 --> 00:48:49,679 Why am I handcuffed? What the hell is this? 1303 00:48:49,679 --> 00:48:52,720 Kyle Holmes was my fiancé... 1304 00:48:52,720 --> 00:48:54,553 when my life was full of promise. 1305 00:48:54,553 --> 00:48:56,303 We were gonna get married... 1306 00:48:56,303 --> 00:48:58,679 until you ruined it. 1307 00:48:58,679 --> 00:49:02,053 Who are you? Who is this Kyle guy? 1308 00:49:02,053 --> 00:49:03,095 You know what you did! 1309 00:49:03,095 --> 00:49:05,136 I don't! I swear. 1310 00:49:12,679 --> 00:49:15,136 Summer of 1995. 1311 00:49:17,261 --> 00:49:20,512 It doesn't ring a bell? [scoffs] 1312 00:49:20,512 --> 00:49:24,136 Let's see if we can jog your memory. 1313 00:49:26,345 --> 00:49:29,637 It is an epidemic that we are facing in this country. 1314 00:49:29,637 --> 00:49:31,887 Street drugs, like crack, 1315 00:49:31,887 --> 00:49:36,679 ensnaring young American boys like you, 1316 00:49:36,679 --> 00:49:39,303 from good American families. 1317 00:49:39,303 --> 00:49:42,595 That is why there is a war on drugs in this country. 1318 00:49:42,595 --> 00:49:43,595 [Frank] Is that him? 1319 00:49:43,595 --> 00:49:45,053 That's you, asshole. 1320 00:49:45,053 --> 00:49:47,345 [judge] Instead of punishing this poor man, 1321 00:49:47,345 --> 00:49:49,512 the victim, who was seduced 1322 00:49:49,512 --> 00:49:52,387 into using illegal street drugs, 1323 00:49:52,387 --> 00:49:55,428 we're gonna punish the hoodlums, the miscreants 1324 00:49:55,428 --> 00:49:59,595 for perpetuating this dark epidemic. 1325 00:49:59,595 --> 00:50:01,929 Frank Gallagher, 1326 00:50:01,929 --> 00:50:05,887 this court reduces your charge to a misdemeanor, 1327 00:50:05,887 --> 00:50:09,011 and you are sentenced to 30 days in rehab. 1328 00:50:09,011 --> 00:50:11,053 [Frank] Thank you, Your Honor. 1329 00:50:11,053 --> 00:50:13,804 [judge] You have a good day now. 1330 00:50:13,804 --> 00:50:16,762 As for you, the deviant thug 1331 00:50:16,762 --> 00:50:19,095 that tried to rob and steal 1332 00:50:19,095 --> 00:50:21,261 this bright young man's future, 1333 00:50:21,261 --> 00:50:24,512 you are hereby sentenced to 45 years 1334 00:50:24,512 --> 00:50:26,679 for drug possession of crack cocaine. 1335 00:50:28,428 --> 00:50:30,261 Society's gonna be a lot safer 1336 00:50:30,261 --> 00:50:32,720 without you super predators out on the streets. 1337 00:50:33,887 --> 00:50:36,762 [light thud] 1338 00:50:36,762 --> 00:50:39,387 Twenty-four years he's been rotting in prison, 1339 00:50:39,387 --> 00:50:42,595 his entire adult life behind bars. 1340 00:50:42,595 --> 00:50:45,261 I-I-I mean, that's very unfortunate. 1341 00:50:45,261 --> 00:50:47,428 The '90s were a racist time. 1342 00:50:47,428 --> 00:50:49,845 But this feels like a "not me" problem. 1343 00:50:49,845 --> 00:50:53,220 This feels like a "not you" problem? 1344 00:50:57,261 --> 00:51:00,220 - You really don't remember. - I don't remember! 1345 00:51:00,220 --> 00:51:02,929 Look, admittedly, I was on crack at the time. 1346 00:51:02,929 --> 00:51:05,303 - [handcuffs tightening] - Ouch. 1347 00:51:05,303 --> 00:51:08,095 I'm going to the hardware store for supplies. 1348 00:51:08,095 --> 00:51:11,345 Why don't you watch the video a few dozen more times? 1349 00:51:11,345 --> 00:51:13,553 - It's on a loop. - It is an epidemic... 1350 00:51:13,553 --> 00:51:15,595 What kind of supplies? 1351 00:51:15,595 --> 00:51:17,679 The kind that might make you remember. 1352 00:51:17,679 --> 00:51:20,428 Wait, no, can't we-- 1353 00:51:20,428 --> 00:51:23,053 [judge] ...ensnaring young American boys like you. 1354 00:51:23,053 --> 00:51:24,887 All right, flashlights. 1355 00:51:24,887 --> 00:51:26,845 - Check. - Walkie-talkies. 1356 00:51:26,845 --> 00:51:28,011 Check. 1357 00:51:28,011 --> 00:51:29,970 - Tire irons! - Check. 1358 00:51:29,970 --> 00:51:31,887 - Tasers. - [both] Check. 1359 00:51:31,887 --> 00:51:34,136 - Chains. - [both] Check. 1360 00:51:34,136 --> 00:51:36,261 Do we have to keep saying "check" every time? 1361 00:51:36,261 --> 00:51:38,804 Because my throat's getting dry-- 1362 00:51:38,804 --> 00:51:40,887 Sorry, sir. 1363 00:51:40,887 --> 00:51:42,679 - Gloves. - [all] Check. 1364 00:51:42,679 --> 00:51:44,220 - Roll of coins. - [all] Check. 1365 00:51:44,220 --> 00:51:45,887 - Map of the South Side. - [all] Check. 1366 00:51:45,887 --> 00:51:48,303 All right, let's review. 1367 00:51:48,303 --> 00:51:51,095 You, you're gonna take half the platoon due west. 1368 00:51:51,095 --> 00:51:52,720 Your mission-- police this neighborhood 1369 00:51:52,720 --> 00:51:54,637 between point A and B. 1370 00:51:54,637 --> 00:51:57,053 I will take the other half due east. 1371 00:51:57,053 --> 00:51:59,679 We meet back at Camp Carl at 0600. 1372 00:51:59,679 --> 00:52:02,637 If someone fucks with you, you fuck back! 1373 00:52:02,637 --> 00:52:04,136 You will not sleep, 1374 00:52:04,136 --> 00:52:06,720 you will not eat until your zones are secure. 1375 00:52:06,720 --> 00:52:08,095 Am I clear? 1376 00:52:08,095 --> 00:52:09,804 - [all] Yes, Carl! - Good. 1377 00:52:09,804 --> 00:52:12,387 Head on swivel. Radios on. 1378 00:52:12,387 --> 00:52:14,345 On my command, move out. 1379 00:52:14,345 --> 00:52:17,887 Go, go, go, go! 1380 00:52:17,887 --> 00:52:20,428 Hi, there. I'm Kevin at the Alibi. 1381 00:52:20,428 --> 00:52:23,011 Hi. I'm Veronica at the Alibi. 1382 00:52:23,011 --> 00:52:25,345 [both] And we struggle with hemorrhoids. 1383 00:52:25,345 --> 00:52:27,428 Shh, Kev, that's embarrassing. 1384 00:52:27,428 --> 00:52:30,011 Why, there's nothing to be embarrassed about, V, 1385 00:52:30,011 --> 00:52:32,053 not when there's such an affordable and easy way 1386 00:52:32,053 --> 00:52:35,178 to cure hemorrhoids, for a very low introductory price 1387 00:52:35,178 --> 00:52:37,595 at the Alibi on the South Side. 1388 00:52:37,595 --> 00:52:40,720 That's right, Escargold Butt Patches. 1389 00:52:40,720 --> 00:52:42,804 Safe and easy to use. 1390 00:52:42,804 --> 00:52:45,512 You just rip open the package 1391 00:52:45,512 --> 00:52:48,303 and put 'em on your butt crack. 1392 00:52:51,929 --> 00:52:55,637 Wow, that is so easy. But does it work, Kev? 1393 00:52:55,637 --> 00:52:57,470 Why, yes, Veronica, it does. 1394 00:52:57,470 --> 00:53:00,887 Just listen to some of our happy customer's testimonials. 1395 00:53:00,887 --> 00:53:04,887 I used to have hemorrhoids. Now I don't. 1396 00:53:04,887 --> 00:53:07,470 Thanks, Escargold Butt Patches! 1397 00:53:11,261 --> 00:53:14,220 [both] So come see us at the Alibi. 1398 00:53:14,220 --> 00:53:16,804 Your butt will thank you. 1399 00:53:18,804 --> 00:53:20,387 - Okay. - [Kev sighs] 1400 00:53:20,387 --> 00:53:22,178 Posted! 1401 00:53:22,178 --> 00:53:23,470 How long you think before 1402 00:53:23,470 --> 00:53:25,136 people will come through the door? 1403 00:53:25,136 --> 00:53:27,679 Oh, that door is gonna bust open any second now. 1404 00:53:27,679 --> 00:53:30,595 Here we go. 1405 00:53:30,595 --> 00:53:32,220 - Shot? - Sure. 1406 00:53:32,220 --> 00:53:34,553 Any second now. 1407 00:53:34,553 --> 00:53:36,720 [exhales deeply] 1408 00:53:36,720 --> 00:53:39,929 ♪ rock music ♪ 1409 00:53:39,929 --> 00:53:41,220 I guess not. 1410 00:53:41,220 --> 00:53:43,136 Well, fuck, we tried. 1411 00:53:43,136 --> 00:53:46,053 Ladies and gentlemen, 1412 00:53:46,053 --> 00:53:48,136 today I take a knee 1413 00:53:48,136 --> 00:53:51,929 in support of the following causes-- 1414 00:53:51,929 --> 00:53:53,887 PETA's Lobster Empathy Center, 1415 00:53:53,887 --> 00:53:55,929 The Cigar Rights of America, 1416 00:53:55,929 --> 00:53:58,679 the Asperger Pride Movement, 1417 00:53:58,679 --> 00:54:02,178 Parents Who Are Against Miralax, 1418 00:54:02,178 --> 00:54:04,720 Parents Who Are Against Spelling Bees, 1419 00:54:04,720 --> 00:54:08,387 and Association for Canine Spirituality. 1420 00:54:08,387 --> 00:54:09,261 Thanks. 1421 00:54:09,261 --> 00:54:11,804 [feedback whines] 1422 00:54:11,804 --> 00:54:14,637 [cheers and applause] 1423 00:54:14,637 --> 00:54:18,887 [all, chanting] Todd! Todd! Todd! Todd! Todd! 1424 00:54:18,887 --> 00:54:21,595 Mickey, come on, hold up. 1425 00:54:21,595 --> 00:54:24,095 Leave me alone, Gallagher. 1426 00:54:24,095 --> 00:54:25,470 [Ian] It's just that I hadn't really thought 1427 00:54:25,470 --> 00:54:27,303 this marriage shit through. 1428 00:54:27,303 --> 00:54:28,762 I don't know, I didn't think we were gonna be 1429 00:54:28,762 --> 00:54:30,136 having this fucking conversation today. 1430 00:54:30,136 --> 00:54:32,553 Then why the fuck did you bring it up? 1431 00:54:32,553 --> 00:54:34,303 The whole thing was your fucking idea! 1432 00:54:34,303 --> 00:54:35,637 - You talked me into this shit! - I know! 1433 00:54:35,637 --> 00:54:37,178 I know! 1434 00:54:37,178 --> 00:54:38,929 Frank and Monica aren't exactly 1435 00:54:38,929 --> 00:54:40,637 the fucking picture of marital bliss, okay? 1436 00:54:40,637 --> 00:54:42,178 I don't really have a frame of reference 1437 00:54:42,178 --> 00:54:43,553 to connect this shit to. 1438 00:54:43,553 --> 00:54:45,261 - Oh, poor fucking you. - It's not personal. 1439 00:54:45,261 --> 00:54:45,970 - It's fine, it's fine. - It's not personal. 1440 00:54:45,970 --> 00:54:48,136 Mickey, I love you! 1441 00:54:50,887 --> 00:54:54,136 It's--it's marriage that I don't know if I love, you know? 1442 00:54:54,136 --> 00:54:56,178 Maybe, I-I-- I don't know. 1443 00:54:56,178 --> 00:54:58,637 But you're right, it is--it is really fucking important, 1444 00:54:58,637 --> 00:55:01,845 so can we just talk about it for one second, please? 1445 00:55:01,845 --> 00:55:03,679 I-- 1446 00:55:03,679 --> 00:55:05,679 I want to know how you feel, you know? 1447 00:55:05,679 --> 00:55:07,428 [chuckling] 1448 00:55:22,011 --> 00:55:24,929 ♪ lively piano music ♪ 1449 00:55:24,929 --> 00:55:28,887 ♪♪♪ 1450 00:55:28,887 --> 00:55:31,178 [Ian groans] 1451 00:55:31,178 --> 00:55:32,970 ♪♪♪ 1452 00:55:32,970 --> 00:55:35,345 Fucking really, Mickey? 1453 00:55:35,345 --> 00:55:36,804 [Ian grunting] 1454 00:55:36,804 --> 00:55:38,762 Fuck. 1455 00:55:38,762 --> 00:55:41,929 [door opens] 1456 00:55:41,929 --> 00:55:45,178 - [Lip] Hey. - Hey. 1457 00:55:45,178 --> 00:55:47,178 [Lip sighs] 1458 00:55:52,220 --> 00:55:55,553 Okay, so Aunt Oopie... 1459 00:55:55,553 --> 00:55:58,136 she can't be Fred's guardian, Tami. 1460 00:55:58,136 --> 00:56:01,887 No, yeah. I know. 1461 00:56:01,887 --> 00:56:04,387 She's racist as fuck. 1462 00:56:04,387 --> 00:56:08,387 I thought it would get more subtle with age, but... 1463 00:56:08,387 --> 00:56:11,178 What's with the third person? 1464 00:56:11,178 --> 00:56:13,512 "Aunt Oopie's here." 1465 00:56:13,512 --> 00:56:14,720 "Aunt Oopie baked." 1466 00:56:14,720 --> 00:56:17,720 I know. 1467 00:56:17,720 --> 00:56:20,637 She's weird and sad. 1468 00:56:20,637 --> 00:56:23,720 Doesn't mean that Aunt Oopie can't babysit, right? 1469 00:56:25,762 --> 00:56:28,178 It's not like Fred understands what she's saying. 1470 00:56:28,178 --> 00:56:29,970 [chuckles] 1471 00:56:29,970 --> 00:56:32,804 I don't think his hearing even works yet. 1472 00:56:32,804 --> 00:56:34,303 [sighs] 1473 00:56:34,303 --> 00:56:37,512 What if something happens to us? 1474 00:56:37,512 --> 00:56:40,720 We don't have anyone to be Fred's guardian. 1475 00:56:42,261 --> 00:56:44,595 So nothing'll happen to us. 1476 00:56:46,428 --> 00:56:48,595 Make a deal right now... 1477 00:56:48,595 --> 00:56:50,261 neither one of us will die. 1478 00:56:50,261 --> 00:56:51,970 [spits] 1479 00:56:51,970 --> 00:56:53,595 [laughs] 1480 00:56:53,595 --> 00:56:55,261 ♪ rock music ♪ 1481 00:56:55,261 --> 00:56:57,303 [spits] 1482 00:56:57,303 --> 00:56:59,804 ♪ 'Cause I think I feel the same as you ♪ 1483 00:56:59,804 --> 00:57:01,595 Deal. 1484 00:57:01,595 --> 00:57:04,428 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 1485 00:57:04,428 --> 00:57:07,679 ♪ Yeah, all I want is you ♪ 1486 00:57:07,679 --> 00:57:10,011 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 1487 00:57:10,011 --> 00:57:12,470 ♪ Yeah, all I want is you ♪ 1488 00:57:15,762 --> 00:57:18,011 Hey, jaywalking's illegal. 1489 00:57:18,011 --> 00:57:19,887 [laughs] Buzz off. 1490 00:57:19,887 --> 00:57:22,637 You sure you want to say that to me? 1491 00:57:22,637 --> 00:57:24,303 Beat it before you get hurt. 1492 00:57:25,679 --> 00:57:27,428 [whistles] 1493 00:57:27,428 --> 00:57:30,303 ♪ rock music ♪ 1494 00:57:30,303 --> 00:57:33,303 - [Taser clicking] - [groans] 1495 00:57:33,303 --> 00:57:38,303 ♪♪♪