1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers. 2 00:00:35,479 --> 00:00:39,151 (MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING) 3 00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:05,199 Come Saturday morning 4 00:01:05,401 --> 00:01:09,868 I'm goin' away with my friend 5 00:01:10,811 --> 00:01:16,570 We'll Saturday-spend 'Til the end of the day 6 00:01:21,087 --> 00:01:24,932 Just I and my friend 7 00:01:26,083 --> 00:01:32,604 We'll travel for miles in our Saturday smiles 8 00:01:33,469 --> 00:01:37,413 And then we'll move on 9 00:01:38,792 --> 00:01:42,678 But we will remember 10 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:47,137 Long after Saturday's gone 11 00:02:08,834 --> 00:02:12,936 Come Saturday morning 12 00:02:14,411 --> 00:02:18,711 You head for the east or to the west 13 00:02:18,914 --> 00:02:24,640 In saturday best we will rest of the way 14 00:02:29,549 --> 00:02:32,504 Just I and my friend 15 00:02:34,414 --> 00:02:40,511 Wherever know where the saturday goes 16 00:02:41,976 --> 00:02:46,119 And so we'll move on 17 00:02:47,036 --> 00:02:51,082 But we will remember 18 00:02:51,284 --> 00:02:55,895 Long after Saturday's gone 19 00:03:49,041 --> 00:03:51,170 Hi! Need a model? 20 00:03:52,845 --> 00:03:54,748 Be a terrific guy anyway and take my picture. 21 00:03:55,747 --> 00:03:57,649 Little memory piece for my old man. 22 00:03:58,418 --> 00:03:59,619 Okay? 23 00:04:06,227 --> 00:04:07,394 (CAMERA CLICKS) 24 00:04:07,426 --> 00:04:08,795 Can I see it? 25 00:04:08,828 --> 00:04:10,298 Mmm. Just a minute, huh? 26 00:04:15,802 --> 00:04:18,006 "Common North American Insects." Terrific! 27 00:04:19,307 --> 00:04:20,676 Oh, grasshopper gills. 28 00:04:21,876 --> 00:04:23,277 I knew a girl who had a gill. 29 00:04:23,310 --> 00:04:24,581 It grew out of her throat. 30 00:04:24,613 --> 00:04:25,660 I don't know if it was a grasshopper gill. 31 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:27,162 Anyway, she had it operated on and the operation left 32 00:04:27,182 --> 00:04:28,697 this little hole and every now and again it would bleed, 33 00:04:28,717 --> 00:04:30,064 so she had to wear a scarf to school. 34 00:04:30,084 --> 00:04:31,553 Sheila Carruthers. 35 00:04:31,586 --> 00:04:32,268 She was a weirdo. 36 00:04:32,467 --> 00:04:34,591 It's hard to think of that as your average operation. 37 00:04:35,825 --> 00:04:39,081 Boy, it's gonna be nice to get away from all these weirdos. 38 00:04:44,300 --> 00:04:46,067 It looks just like me. 39 00:04:47,070 --> 00:04:48,483 You on the bus? 40 00:04:48,683 --> 00:04:49,873 Yes. 41 00:04:49,906 --> 00:04:51,107 You've you been on it long? 42 00:04:51,540 --> 00:04:53,144 Uh, yes. 43 00:04:54,178 --> 00:04:55,813 (IN FAKE ACCENT) How far are you going? 44 00:04:55,846 --> 00:04:57,348 Uh, to Harrisonville. 45 00:04:57,382 --> 00:04:58,548 To the college? 46 00:04:58,583 --> 00:04:59,683 - Right. - That's great! 47 00:04:59,884 --> 00:05:01,599 I'm going to Winslow. It's only 75 miles away. 48 00:05:01,619 --> 00:05:03,856 Oh. 49 00:05:03,888 --> 00:05:05,970 This is my first semester. Is this your first semester? 50 00:05:05,990 --> 00:05:07,688 - Yeah. - Well, what do you know. 51 00:05:11,330 --> 00:05:12,797 BUS DRIVER: All aboard. 52 00:05:12,831 --> 00:05:16,266 Oh, well, I gotta go now. 53 00:05:16,466 --> 00:05:19,255 - Excuse me. - Save me a place. 54 00:05:20,773 --> 00:05:22,639 Save me a place. 55 00:05:41,395 --> 00:05:43,031 I hope you'll like college. 56 00:06:04,687 --> 00:06:05,822 Hi. 57 00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:19,208 Excuse me, Sister. 58 00:06:19,971 --> 00:06:22,139 Would you mind if I sat where you're sitting? 59 00:06:22,172 --> 00:06:24,276 You see, that's my... Just a minute, Sister. 60 00:06:24,741 --> 00:06:25,911 (SNEEZES) 61 00:06:27,046 --> 00:06:29,313 Pardon me. That's my brother. 62 00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:31,384 That's my brother and I'd like to be close to him. 63 00:06:32,751 --> 00:06:34,387 Our mother just died in Rhode Island. 64 00:06:35,654 --> 00:06:36,823 He loved her very much. 65 00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:38,924 - Of course. - Thank you. 66 00:06:39,124 --> 00:06:40,927 Sister, these young people should be together. 67 00:06:51,103 --> 00:06:53,474 Excuse me. Oh, I'm sorry, Sister. 68 00:06:56,276 --> 00:06:58,045 I'm so sorry. 69 00:06:58,246 --> 00:07:00,131 That's okay. 70 00:07:03,952 --> 00:07:06,077 Small world, huh? 71 00:07:22,971 --> 00:07:24,942 I'm a literature nut myself. 72 00:07:24,974 --> 00:07:27,343 I mean, I read anything, any time, any place. 73 00:07:27,376 --> 00:07:29,479 What's your major? Bugs? 74 00:07:29,513 --> 00:07:30,547 (CHUCKLES) 75 00:07:31,414 --> 00:07:34,282 - Biology. - Oh. 76 00:07:34,482 --> 00:07:36,154 Why is that nun looking at us like that? 77 00:07:38,354 --> 00:07:39,891 I told her about our mother. 78 00:07:40,290 --> 00:07:41,958 Our mother? 79 00:07:41,992 --> 00:07:44,128 You know, about our going to bury her in Rhode Island. 80 00:07:45,362 --> 00:07:48,098 Oh, don't worry about them. Some people love it. 81 00:07:48,133 --> 00:07:50,373 I mean, some people guzzle God like he was a keg of beer. 82 00:07:54,439 --> 00:07:56,441 What do you think we should put on the tombstone? 83 00:07:57,744 --> 00:07:59,958 We might as well think of some kind of appropriate inscription. 84 00:07:59,978 --> 00:08:01,561 I mean, after all, we are gonna be together all day, right? 85 00:08:01,581 --> 00:08:02,581 (CLICKS TONGUE) 86 00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:05,612 You're a very unusual person. 87 00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:08,053 Not like those weirdos back home, huh? 88 00:08:09,956 --> 00:08:11,371 I think we should pick something that relates 89 00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:12,573 to a beautiful moment in our mother's life. 90 00:08:12,593 --> 00:08:14,362 - Are you hungry? - Uh, no thank you. 91 00:08:14,562 --> 00:08:15,653 I've got a thing here. 92 00:08:15,853 --> 00:08:17,214 - You want some? - Uh-uh. 93 00:08:17,729 --> 00:08:20,557 Now, if I were to pick one beautiful moment in our mother's life... 94 00:08:20,756 --> 00:08:21,169 Don't say that. 95 00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:23,905 I think it would be the time 96 00:08:23,938 --> 00:08:28,175 that our father comes in late and he's swacked right down to his toes 97 00:08:28,209 --> 00:08:31,126 and he staggers up the steps and he doesn't even look in to check us out or anything, 98 00:08:31,146 --> 00:08:32,881 he just heads right for the old bedroom. 99 00:08:34,383 --> 00:08:36,452 He hasn't changed one thing in that bedroom. 100 00:08:36,484 --> 00:08:39,687 Everything is just exactly the same, all her personal stuff. 101 00:08:39,721 --> 00:08:41,241 Are you sure you don't want a cupcake? 102 00:08:41,291 --> 00:08:44,158 - No, thanks. - Okay, anyway... 103 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:47,361 We listened for him to drop his shoes... 104 00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:48,249 I mean, ordinarily, 105 00:08:48,269 --> 00:08:49,946 you can hear a drunk take off his shoes, right? 106 00:08:49,966 --> 00:08:51,213 I mean, even though we're nine-years-old 107 00:08:51,233 --> 00:08:53,603 we knew that drunks take off their shoes, right? 108 00:08:53,637 --> 00:08:55,273 But this time we don't hear a sound. 109 00:08:55,939 --> 00:08:57,374 So we get up, 110 00:08:58,942 --> 00:09:00,477 we ease ourselves down the hall, 111 00:09:01,911 --> 00:09:04,051 and we peer into his room. 112 00:09:05,483 --> 00:09:07,919 And there he is and he's down on his knees in the closet. 113 00:09:10,322 --> 00:09:13,203 And he's staring into this little shoebox. 114 00:09:14,226 --> 00:09:16,722 And he stares into that box for the longest time. 115 00:09:17,529 --> 00:09:18,898 Then finally he reaches in. 116 00:09:19,865 --> 00:09:22,001 And he takes something out, he gets to his feet. 117 00:09:23,902 --> 00:09:25,971 And he moves across the room. 118 00:09:26,005 --> 00:09:27,306 And you know what he does? 119 00:09:28,875 --> 00:09:30,176 You know what he does? 120 00:09:32,512 --> 00:09:35,082 He starts spraying perfume all over my mother's side of the bed. 121 00:09:38,417 --> 00:09:40,854 Classy memory, huh? 122 00:09:40,888 --> 00:09:43,070 I mean, women like that always get big funerals, don't they? 123 00:09:43,090 --> 00:09:44,738 You can't just dump her in, can you? (CHUCKLES) 124 00:09:44,758 --> 00:09:46,061 That's a great moment. 125 00:09:48,795 --> 00:09:50,132 You know what the trouble is? 126 00:09:52,599 --> 00:09:54,282 The trouble is that probably all the good things in life 127 00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:56,438 take place in no more than a minute. 128 00:09:56,470 --> 00:09:58,345 I mean, all added up. 129 00:10:00,041 --> 00:10:01,924 I bet you at the end of 70 years, should you live so long, 130 00:10:01,944 --> 00:10:03,613 you sit down, you can figure it all out. 131 00:10:04,847 --> 00:10:06,249 Spent 35 years sleeping. 132 00:10:07,416 --> 00:10:09,252 Spent five years going to the bathroom. 133 00:10:10,618 --> 00:10:13,122 Spent 19 years doing some kind of work you absolutely hated. 134 00:10:14,389 --> 00:10:17,494 Spent 8,759 minutes blinking your eyes. 135 00:10:17,526 --> 00:10:20,030 And after that you got that one minute of good things. 136 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:24,602 (SIGHS) 137 00:10:24,635 --> 00:10:26,705 Then one day you wonder whether your minute's up. 138 00:10:31,509 --> 00:10:33,579 You'd rather talk about bugs, wouldn't you? Okay. 139 00:10:34,045 --> 00:10:35,413 Apis Mellifica. 140 00:10:36,714 --> 00:10:38,484 That's short for bee, right? 141 00:10:38,516 --> 00:10:41,086 Bees are cross-eyed. 142 00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:42,802 Oh, my God! There was this guy in high school, 143 00:10:42,822 --> 00:10:44,951 George Alexander Meager... 144 00:10:50,596 --> 00:10:52,299 Gee, it's been really nice meeting you. 145 00:10:53,232 --> 00:10:55,467 It's been wonderful. 146 00:10:59,574 --> 00:11:01,855 Hey, whaddya know. I forgot to give my father the picture. 147 00:11:04,377 --> 00:11:07,014 Hey, my name's Pookie Adams. What's yours? 148 00:11:07,047 --> 00:11:08,748 Uh, Jerry Payne. 149 00:11:08,781 --> 00:11:10,754 POOKIE: Well, whaddya know! 150 00:11:53,431 --> 00:11:55,447 Hi! 151 00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:57,502 Hi. 152 00:11:57,535 --> 00:11:59,337 POOKIE: Great spot for a murder, huh? 153 00:12:01,706 --> 00:12:04,001 Here, a little memento. 154 00:12:06,978 --> 00:12:08,414 See you in Rhode Island! 155 00:12:24,898 --> 00:12:26,400 (BOYS CLAMORING) 156 00:12:46,956 --> 00:12:49,458 CHARLIE: Easy, man. There, there. Really, just shake it up. 157 00:12:49,491 --> 00:12:51,361 (LAUGHING) Put it down, man! 158 00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:53,929 It's gotta go all the way up to the ceiling. 159 00:12:53,962 --> 00:12:56,465 Put it over there on the desk. Knock those out of the way. 160 00:12:59,435 --> 00:13:01,203 Bless you, dear little thing. 161 00:13:01,237 --> 00:13:02,852 - Plug ear, out of the way. - Jerry Payne. 162 00:13:02,872 --> 00:13:05,108 Eddie Roe. I'm across the hall. 163 00:13:05,142 --> 00:13:07,078 - This is Charlie Schumacher. - How you doin'? 164 00:13:07,277 --> 00:13:10,848 - Are there any plugs around here? - I think this is my room. 165 00:13:11,048 --> 00:13:12,650 (CHUCKLES) 166 00:13:12,684 --> 00:13:16,485 Want the top or the bottom, or beer, whiskey or what? 167 00:13:17,020 --> 00:13:18,656 (LAUGHS) 168 00:13:18,689 --> 00:13:20,893 Hey, we're roomies, man. We're living together. 169 00:13:21,593 --> 00:13:22,993 Need a drink? 170 00:13:23,027 --> 00:13:24,896 Hey, relax, relax! 171 00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:27,718 Oops. I'm so... What's this? 172 00:13:29,067 --> 00:13:30,670 Is she friend or foe? 173 00:13:30,703 --> 00:13:32,571 Uh, she's just a girl I met on the bus. 174 00:13:33,905 --> 00:13:35,975 Well, that's good. This is your first contribution 175 00:13:36,008 --> 00:13:38,181 to the old decor. 176 00:13:38,846 --> 00:13:41,213 My stepmother used to say, 177 00:13:41,247 --> 00:13:44,016 "When you get into a new place, hang your pictures, Charlie!" 178 00:13:44,050 --> 00:13:45,253 Yeah. Hey... 179 00:13:45,285 --> 00:13:46,420 (BOYS TALKING INDISTINCTLY) 180 00:13:46,453 --> 00:13:48,623 The old village tavern, right? 181 00:13:48,655 --> 00:13:50,824 Twenty-four hours service. Beer, whiskey! 182 00:13:59,433 --> 00:14:00,669 (SIGHS) All right. 183 00:14:01,603 --> 00:14:03,305 Ask me if I made out this summer. 184 00:14:03,338 --> 00:14:04,706 Did you make out this summer? 185 00:14:06,140 --> 00:14:07,309 CHARLIE: Ask me nice. 186 00:14:07,343 --> 00:14:08,644 Did you make out this summer? 187 00:14:09,310 --> 00:14:11,470 Uh, you ask me. 188 00:14:12,948 --> 00:14:14,885 Did you make out this summer? (CHARLIE CHUCKLES) 189 00:14:15,084 --> 00:14:18,655 Did I make out this summer? Are you kidding? 190 00:14:18,688 --> 00:14:22,458 Why, little man, I have stories that could curl your little tail. 191 00:14:22,491 --> 00:14:23,694 I'll tell you. (LAUGHS) 192 00:14:27,831 --> 00:14:29,733 Hey, Payne! You got company downstairs. 193 00:14:29,766 --> 00:14:31,655 It's a girl. 194 00:14:32,035 --> 00:14:34,367 - What? - It's your dartboard. 195 00:14:36,407 --> 00:14:37,575 JERRY: Oh my God! 196 00:14:39,243 --> 00:14:40,744 What're you doing in here? 197 00:14:40,779 --> 00:14:42,259 You're not supposed to be in here, especially in the mornings, 198 00:14:42,279 --> 00:14:43,549 it's off limits for women. 199 00:14:44,816 --> 00:14:46,184 Surprised to see me? 200 00:14:46,217 --> 00:14:48,387 Yeah, I guess you could say that. 201 00:14:48,420 --> 00:14:50,623 Yeah. Well, my school's full of creeps, 202 00:14:50,656 --> 00:14:52,537 and I had a free weekend so I figured I'd come visit. 203 00:14:52,557 --> 00:14:55,194 Hey! I brought you a present! 204 00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,195 How do you like the heap? Not bad, huh? 205 00:14:57,229 --> 00:14:59,499 - I bought it for 75 bucks. Oh! - Look, I... 206 00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:02,234 Couldn't you just reach in through the window? 207 00:15:02,268 --> 00:15:03,382 It's a regular cracker. (CHUCKLES) 208 00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:05,072 Beauty in motion. 209 00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:07,707 - Regular crackerjack of a car. - Look, I... 210 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:11,411 It's not exactly souped-up or anything, but, it does have a little personality. 211 00:15:11,445 --> 00:15:13,285 - Wait till you get inside. - Could you listen? 212 00:15:13,314 --> 00:15:15,161 I'm trying to tell you that I have to work anyway. 213 00:15:15,181 --> 00:15:17,184 (BOYS WHISTLING) 214 00:15:17,218 --> 00:15:18,352 (BOYS CLAPPING) 215 00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:24,779 Pornographic stuff. 216 00:15:25,892 --> 00:15:28,430 I can see you've got your creeps hanging from the rooftops. 217 00:15:29,530 --> 00:15:32,349 I, uh, I can't accept a gift... 218 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:34,871 - Go on. - I really shouldn't... 219 00:15:35,071 --> 00:15:36,406 Go on, open it. 220 00:15:37,206 --> 00:15:39,257 Aw, go on, open it. 221 00:15:48,253 --> 00:15:49,420 Do you like it? 222 00:15:52,789 --> 00:15:53,824 It's a beetle. 223 00:15:56,627 --> 00:15:58,428 I played poker with Marcia Dorsky, 224 00:15:58,462 --> 00:16:00,231 this mixed-up sophomore I know, 225 00:16:00,265 --> 00:16:04,069 and, uh, she's changing her major so she was selling her bug collection. 226 00:16:04,101 --> 00:16:05,817 And she lost the game and she was short of cash 227 00:16:05,837 --> 00:16:08,306 and I remembered that you're a nut for bugs. 228 00:16:08,339 --> 00:16:10,342 I don't understand. I can't accept this. 229 00:16:10,376 --> 00:16:11,843 This is far too rare a specimen. 230 00:16:11,877 --> 00:16:13,592 Well, you and I got along fantastically on the bus 231 00:16:13,612 --> 00:16:15,447 so I looked at my old car and I thought, 232 00:16:15,481 --> 00:16:17,083 "Burn rubber." 233 00:16:17,115 --> 00:16:19,051 I mean, that's entitled to a road test. 234 00:16:19,085 --> 00:16:20,920 I thought I'd stick around till tomorrow. 235 00:16:24,123 --> 00:16:25,592 Do you know a place I can stay? 236 00:16:34,801 --> 00:16:38,072 It got real dull because it's impossible to have conversations with weirdos. 237 00:16:38,104 --> 00:16:40,220 So I played poker with Marcia Dorsky and I won the beetle. 238 00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:41,809 Two pair. Jack high. 239 00:16:43,879 --> 00:16:45,813 Oh, so this is where Lincoln died. 240 00:16:45,846 --> 00:16:48,482 Gee, it's nice to know somebody's keeping America beautiful. 241 00:16:48,516 --> 00:16:50,486 No fraternizing with the door closed. 242 00:16:51,319 --> 00:16:52,688 I happen to be his sister, 243 00:16:53,790 --> 00:16:55,757 and our mother's just died in Rhode Island. 244 00:16:55,790 --> 00:16:57,861 So I can assure you we don't have smut on our minds. 245 00:16:59,061 --> 00:17:01,063 I'm terribly sorry. 246 00:17:05,968 --> 00:17:08,771 You know, I really wish you wouldn't do that. 247 00:17:08,805 --> 00:17:10,940 Hey, I can see your place from here. 248 00:17:10,973 --> 00:17:12,355 Look, I don't mean to be rude, but I really... 249 00:17:12,375 --> 00:17:16,480 Oh, God! Oh, God! 250 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:19,149 Nancy Putnam. She's in my dorm. 251 00:17:19,182 --> 00:17:21,332 Brother, you really get the cream of the crap on the weekends, don't you! 252 00:17:21,352 --> 00:17:22,566 I said I don't mean to be rude, but I really... 253 00:17:22,586 --> 00:17:24,320 You don't have to pay for this room. 254 00:17:24,355 --> 00:17:24,787 I know that. 255 00:17:24,807 --> 00:17:26,170 You don't even have to stay if you don't want to. 256 00:17:26,190 --> 00:17:28,306 It's just like I said. I just had to get away from the creeps, 257 00:17:28,326 --> 00:17:30,762 and I figured if anyone would understand that, you would. 258 00:17:30,796 --> 00:17:32,877 Look, I'm not questioning your right to get away from creeps 259 00:17:32,897 --> 00:17:34,814 or whatever you want to get away from, it's just... 260 00:17:34,834 --> 00:17:35,913 And don't get me wrong either, 261 00:17:35,933 --> 00:17:37,468 'cause I really appreciate the beetle. 262 00:17:37,503 --> 00:17:39,038 It's a very thoughtful gesture. 263 00:17:42,441 --> 00:17:44,578 How do you say it again? Glorious? 264 00:17:44,611 --> 00:17:47,012 Uh, Gloriosa. Melictus Polamus. 265 00:17:47,045 --> 00:17:48,715 Melictus Polamus. 266 00:17:48,748 --> 00:17:51,188 Yeah. They're not easy to come by either, as a matter of fact. 267 00:17:51,918 --> 00:17:55,622 Dominus, Ominous. Melictus Polaminous. 268 00:17:57,524 --> 00:18:00,562 Hey, how does a person develop an interest in something like bugs anyway? 269 00:18:01,394 --> 00:18:02,797 No, really, I want to know. 270 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:08,837 Uh, well, I started out by dissecting birds to see if they had filarial worms. 271 00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:11,273 That simple, huh? 272 00:18:11,305 --> 00:18:12,873 Oh, before I knew it, 273 00:18:12,907 --> 00:18:14,857 anything to do with a crawling object just caught my eye, you know. 274 00:18:14,877 --> 00:18:16,645 Potato bugs, grasshoppers, beetles... 275 00:18:16,677 --> 00:18:18,680 What grabbed you about grasshoppers? 276 00:18:18,714 --> 00:18:20,129 You're putting me on now, aren't you? 277 00:18:20,149 --> 00:18:22,786 No, I'm not. I wanna know what grabbed you about grasshoppers. 278 00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:25,956 Well, three summers ago, uh, 279 00:18:25,989 --> 00:18:28,558 I was looking for, uh, mite larva, 280 00:18:28,592 --> 00:18:30,493 which can be found behind grasshopper gills. 281 00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:31,575 Anyway, my brother and I were on a trip... 282 00:18:31,595 --> 00:18:32,797 How old is your brother? 283 00:18:32,829 --> 00:18:33,963 - Thirty-one. - Married? 284 00:18:34,163 --> 00:18:35,231 - Yes. - Kids? 285 00:18:35,432 --> 00:18:36,967 - Two. - You're an uncle! 286 00:18:37,167 --> 00:18:39,990 - What does your father do? - Uh, he's in real estate. 287 00:18:40,191 --> 00:18:41,630 And your mother's a housewife. 288 00:18:41,830 --> 00:18:43,353 - Mmm-hmm. - Well, whaddya know. 289 00:18:45,776 --> 00:18:47,858 You know, you have a way of changing the subject sometimes. 290 00:18:47,878 --> 00:18:49,781 No, I don't. You were talking about gills. 291 00:18:49,815 --> 00:18:51,863 No, I was talking about mites and I mentioned that mite larvae 292 00:18:51,883 --> 00:18:53,264 can be found behind grasshopper gills. 293 00:18:53,284 --> 00:18:55,467 - Would you take me to dinner later? - That's what I said. 294 00:18:55,487 --> 00:18:56,723 I'll settle for a sandwich. 295 00:20:18,448 --> 00:20:21,083 Uh, I really think that we should be going. 296 00:20:23,517 --> 00:20:24,887 Adams in! 297 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,902 (GRUNTING) 298 00:20:59,043 --> 00:21:00,444 JERRY: Are you all right? 299 00:21:02,912 --> 00:21:04,380 Hey, listen, are you hurt? 300 00:21:22,558 --> 00:21:24,460 Hey, are you okay? 301 00:21:26,928 --> 00:21:28,902 Hey, listen are... (SHRIEKS) 302 00:21:34,667 --> 00:21:36,782 You really had me scared. I don't think that's funny at all. 303 00:21:36,802 --> 00:21:38,914 - You've got the ball! - What? 304 00:21:39,114 --> 00:21:41,360 - You've got the ball! - Look, I don't... 305 00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:42,238 (LAUGHING) 306 00:21:42,438 --> 00:21:44,641 Come on, now. That's enough! Will you cut it out! 307 00:21:44,673 --> 00:21:45,775 Come on, let go of me! 308 00:21:50,544 --> 00:21:51,746 (SQUEALING) 309 00:21:55,347 --> 00:21:56,347 (EXCLAIMING) 310 00:21:56,681 --> 00:21:57,818 (LAUGHS) 311 00:22:13,795 --> 00:22:15,228 (BOTH LAUGHING) 312 00:22:16,829 --> 00:22:18,930 JERRY: You're wacky, you're absolutely wacky. 313 00:22:21,933 --> 00:22:23,860 Yes. 314 00:23:10,333 --> 00:23:12,434 Well, I'd stick around for a midnight snack, 315 00:23:12,467 --> 00:23:14,403 but I have to be back for morning garbage cleanup. 316 00:23:14,423 --> 00:23:16,053 Some stupid thing. 317 00:23:19,472 --> 00:23:21,683 Well, drive carefully. 318 00:23:21,882 --> 00:23:23,275 Okay. So long. 319 00:23:23,308 --> 00:23:24,309 (ENGINE STARTS) 320 00:23:25,242 --> 00:23:27,573 Maybe I'll see you again sometime. 321 00:23:27,772 --> 00:23:29,774 - So long. - So long. 322 00:23:43,388 --> 00:23:44,622 Telegram. 323 00:24:47,498 --> 00:24:49,468 (LOUD MUSIC PLAYING) 324 00:24:55,272 --> 00:24:58,306 Well, I'm sorry. I didn't know it'd be so crowded. 325 00:24:58,339 --> 00:25:00,942 You'd figure on Sunday all the weirdos would be in church. 326 00:25:01,609 --> 00:25:03,519 Barbara Eisenberg. 327 00:25:04,610 --> 00:25:08,212 She's very liberal. I said she's very liberal. 328 00:25:08,246 --> 00:25:10,482 I don't think there are any seats in here. 329 00:25:10,515 --> 00:25:12,149 She's always making placards and things. 330 00:25:12,182 --> 00:25:14,085 All the liberals wear their shorts loose. 331 00:25:21,590 --> 00:25:23,369 - Upshaw. - What? 332 00:25:23,568 --> 00:25:25,106 Helen Upshaw. She used to be my roommate. 333 00:25:25,126 --> 00:25:26,959 What do you mean "used to be"? 334 00:25:26,993 --> 00:25:29,175 She had a friend she wanted to be with down the hall so she moved out. 335 00:25:29,195 --> 00:25:31,364 - Hi, Helen. - Oh, hi, Pookie. 336 00:25:31,564 --> 00:25:33,264 This is my date, Jerry Payne. 337 00:25:33,298 --> 00:25:34,763 - Hello. - Hi. 338 00:25:34,965 --> 00:25:36,300 Jerry, this is Mark. 339 00:25:36,333 --> 00:25:38,101 Hi, Mark. Nice to meet you. 340 00:25:38,735 --> 00:25:42,638 - That's Pookie. - Hi. 341 00:25:42,837 --> 00:25:44,171 We're gonna have a beer. 342 00:25:44,804 --> 00:25:45,974 Oh, good. 343 00:25:48,841 --> 00:25:51,248 - Oh, hi. - Hi. 344 00:25:53,145 --> 00:25:54,780 Lillian Lerner. Very emotional. 345 00:25:54,813 --> 00:25:56,469 Cries all the time. Wets her pants. 346 00:25:56,669 --> 00:25:58,449 - What? - She wets her pants. 347 00:25:58,648 --> 00:26:00,114 I can't hear you, I'm sorry. 348 00:26:00,149 --> 00:26:01,750 - What? - Huh? 349 00:26:01,950 --> 00:26:03,051 (LAUGHS) 350 00:26:07,454 --> 00:26:08,622 Nancy Putnam. 351 00:26:08,822 --> 00:26:10,357 Oh. 352 00:26:10,389 --> 00:26:12,458 She moved into my room after Upshaw moved out. 353 00:26:12,490 --> 00:26:13,959 Huh? 354 00:26:13,991 --> 00:26:16,127 She moved into my room after Upshaw moved out. 355 00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:19,130 Oh, how is that working out? 356 00:26:19,162 --> 00:26:20,810 Well, she was only there a couple of days. 357 00:26:20,830 --> 00:26:22,343 She found a friend down at the other end of the hall. 358 00:26:22,363 --> 00:26:23,399 Oh. 359 00:26:26,233 --> 00:26:27,868 BOY: Hey, Payne. Hey. Hi. How are you? 360 00:26:27,901 --> 00:26:29,136 Oh, hi, John. How are you? 361 00:26:33,273 --> 00:26:34,673 Hi, Nance. 362 00:26:34,705 --> 00:26:36,823 Hi, Pookie. 363 00:26:41,444 --> 00:26:43,255 - Who are you rooming with now? - Huh? 364 00:26:43,456 --> 00:26:44,960 - Who are you rooming with now? - Nobody. 365 00:26:44,980 --> 00:26:47,182 I like it like that. 366 00:26:47,213 --> 00:26:49,333 I can play the radio all night and keep the lights on. 367 00:26:49,442 --> 00:26:50,442 That's how I like it. 368 00:26:54,953 --> 00:26:56,488 Let's get out of here. 369 00:26:56,521 --> 00:26:58,536 I can't stand so many hot-pantied weirdos at one fell swoop. 370 00:26:58,556 --> 00:26:59,824 What? 371 00:26:59,857 --> 00:27:01,524 I said hot-pantied weirdos! 372 00:27:19,044 --> 00:27:21,582 POOKIE: Sometimes you have to get away from the noise, you know? 373 00:27:43,482 --> 00:27:45,152 I found it the first day I was here. 374 00:27:47,455 --> 00:27:48,556 Look at this. 375 00:27:51,628 --> 00:27:55,926 "Bessie Rawlens. Beloved daughter, 1804." 376 00:27:58,339 --> 00:27:59,693 And, Jer... 377 00:28:01,743 --> 00:28:03,179 Ebediah Rawlens. 378 00:28:04,445 --> 00:28:06,315 "Take him unto the heights of heaven." 379 00:28:08,786 --> 00:28:10,056 Great spot, huh? 380 00:28:11,259 --> 00:28:12,779 Yeah. 381 00:28:14,060 --> 00:28:16,024 Look at these over here. 382 00:28:17,233 --> 00:28:20,537 This whole family must have gone together. They all have the same name. 383 00:28:20,572 --> 00:28:23,977 Must have been one of those mass-disaster jobs, for blood or something. 384 00:28:24,010 --> 00:28:25,213 And all the children. 385 00:28:27,883 --> 00:28:29,218 George. 386 00:28:31,388 --> 00:28:32,491 Mr. Simpson. 387 00:28:37,563 --> 00:28:38,767 Zwillian. 388 00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:46,728 Bessie. Ebediah. 389 00:28:48,113 --> 00:28:50,653 George. William. 390 00:28:54,723 --> 00:28:56,059 Jerry Payne. 391 00:28:57,494 --> 00:28:59,352 Hello. 392 00:29:18,073 --> 00:29:19,387 Hey, can you do this? 393 00:29:19,927 --> 00:29:21,908 (SQUEAKING) 394 00:29:22,220 --> 00:29:25,018 - What's that? - Wait a minute. 395 00:29:25,221 --> 00:29:27,346 (SQUEAKING) 396 00:29:27,381 --> 00:29:29,504 It's supposed to be a fairy harp. (CHUCKLES) 397 00:29:31,290 --> 00:29:32,471 Try. 398 00:29:33,584 --> 00:29:34,966 Just a piece of grass. 399 00:29:35,878 --> 00:29:38,596 - Like this? - You can use this... 400 00:29:43,407 --> 00:29:45,471 - Do you have one? - Yeah. 401 00:29:48,098 --> 00:29:49,515 (SQUEAKING) 402 00:29:50,528 --> 00:29:52,721 Have you been to a lot of funerals? 403 00:29:54,443 --> 00:29:55,894 I mean, is your family all intact? 404 00:29:58,356 --> 00:30:00,888 Uh, my father's uncle had a big funeral. But that's about it. 405 00:30:02,982 --> 00:30:04,060 Your family intact? 406 00:30:04,701 --> 00:30:05,917 Except for my mother. 407 00:30:07,605 --> 00:30:09,055 Oh, yeah, that's right. I forgot. 408 00:30:12,499 --> 00:30:15,206 One summer vacation when I was 11-years-old, 409 00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:18,555 I went through the want ads and I wrote to every address that offered a brochure. 410 00:30:19,809 --> 00:30:22,127 I nearly drove the mailman crazy. 411 00:30:22,751 --> 00:30:26,407 So I told him I had leukemia and only six months to live 412 00:30:28,570 --> 00:30:31,258 and that people from all over the world were sending money and letters 413 00:30:31,278 --> 00:30:32,732 to help pay for the doctor bills. 414 00:30:32,766 --> 00:30:35,100 You know, so my father wouldn't be too strapped? 415 00:30:35,134 --> 00:30:36,522 You told that to the mailman? 416 00:30:38,483 --> 00:30:39,738 You know what he did? 417 00:30:42,039 --> 00:30:43,053 He cried. 418 00:30:44,947 --> 00:30:46,874 He said he'd watched me grow all these years 419 00:30:46,909 --> 00:30:49,527 and he sat right down on the porch swing and he bawled like a baby. 420 00:30:49,547 --> 00:30:51,339 No kidding. 421 00:30:55,105 --> 00:30:56,945 He's been hanging around waiting for me to die! 422 00:30:57,131 --> 00:30:59,749 For years he's been looking at me as if it's my last delivery. 423 00:30:59,948 --> 00:31:04,495 Every time I'm home, he pats my head and smiles and go, "God'll fix you up." 424 00:31:06,327 --> 00:31:07,613 It's like a challenge to him. 425 00:31:07,814 --> 00:31:10,284 I think I've kept him alive waiting for me to die. 426 00:31:14,201 --> 00:31:16,215 - How old were you? - Eleven. 427 00:31:16,740 --> 00:31:18,439 No, I mean, when your mother died. 428 00:31:20,109 --> 00:31:22,041 A minute. 429 00:31:22,242 --> 00:31:23,954 A minute? 430 00:31:24,152 --> 00:31:26,211 My first victim! 431 00:31:28,453 --> 00:31:30,655 - Gee, I'm sorry. - You're sorry? (SCOFFS) 432 00:31:30,856 --> 00:31:32,727 Wow. I hear my father nearly busted a gut. 433 00:31:33,427 --> 00:31:36,096 He's still nuts about her. 434 00:31:36,130 --> 00:31:39,170 I mean, look, he travels around half the country half the time anyway, right? 435 00:31:39,201 --> 00:31:41,871 And all he does is look for women that look like my mother. 436 00:31:44,408 --> 00:31:46,578 He even tried to rape her sister a couple of years ago. 437 00:31:46,610 --> 00:31:47,847 (IN FAKE ACCENT) My own aunt! 438 00:31:48,112 --> 00:31:49,316 Mmm. 439 00:31:58,559 --> 00:31:59,797 "God take Arabella." 440 00:32:06,303 --> 00:32:08,023 You know, sometimes I really believe in God. 441 00:32:12,110 --> 00:32:13,379 Take a picture. 442 00:32:13,813 --> 00:32:14,815 Okay. 443 00:32:29,434 --> 00:32:30,704 Pookie, that's terrible! 444 00:32:31,602 --> 00:32:32,784 No, it's not, what do you mean? 445 00:32:32,804 --> 00:32:34,187 Come on, I'll take one of you afterwards. 446 00:32:34,207 --> 00:32:36,175 We can see what we'll look like as corpses. 447 00:32:36,210 --> 00:32:38,781 God take Arabella. God take Pookie. God take Jerry. 448 00:32:42,952 --> 00:32:44,254 - Come on, get up. - No, no. 449 00:32:44,454 --> 00:32:46,055 Come on, get up! 450 00:32:46,088 --> 00:32:47,485 Pookie: (LAUGHING) Jerry: (GRUNTS) 451 00:33:37,023 --> 00:33:40,633 (MELANCHOLY MUSIC) 452 00:34:29,926 --> 00:34:31,829 JERRY: The leaves are beautiful. 453 00:34:34,564 --> 00:34:36,001 POOKIE: Because they're dying, huh? 454 00:34:56,828 --> 00:34:58,396 I know your house painter's name 455 00:34:58,429 --> 00:35:02,067 and what his wife did to her cousin on Memorial Day of 1958... 456 00:35:02,103 --> 00:35:03,270 '59! 457 00:35:04,768 --> 00:35:07,642 Let's see. You love pitted grapes, you hate figs. 458 00:35:07,675 --> 00:35:10,011 And a policeman in Kermit Kansas named George Grisby 459 00:35:10,044 --> 00:35:11,779 has a small mole on his left shoulder. 460 00:35:11,814 --> 00:35:13,783 You read them! You read them all! 461 00:35:15,084 --> 00:35:16,287 He read them! 462 00:35:16,654 --> 00:35:18,074 (BOTH LAUGHING) 463 00:35:45,849 --> 00:35:47,796 (LAUGHING) 464 00:37:45,801 --> 00:37:46,870 We're in number eight. 465 00:37:55,017 --> 00:37:56,987 (DOG BARKS) 466 00:38:01,862 --> 00:38:02,899 Jer... 467 00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:21,463 Hey, Jerry... 468 00:38:21,496 --> 00:38:23,432 What name did you register under? 469 00:38:23,465 --> 00:38:25,002 - Uh, Berkner. - Mr. and Mrs.? 470 00:38:25,201 --> 00:38:26,505 Uh-huh. 471 00:38:30,813 --> 00:38:32,716 Jer... 472 00:38:46,739 --> 00:38:48,643 It's colder in here than it is outside. 473 00:38:51,514 --> 00:38:53,517 Well, it's clandestine, that's for sure. 474 00:38:57,926 --> 00:38:59,996 This place certainly has interesting workmanship. 475 00:39:00,029 --> 00:39:02,466 This place must've been built back in the 1920's. 476 00:39:13,451 --> 00:39:15,756 He said something about the heat not working too well. 477 00:39:18,993 --> 00:39:22,134 I guess he figured we'd bring our own, huh? 478 00:39:22,166 --> 00:39:24,639 That sort of a dirty joke goes along with a place like this. 479 00:39:24,672 --> 00:39:26,842 (HEATER CLATTERING) 480 00:39:26,875 --> 00:39:28,991 Hey, did you ever hear the one about the two prostitutes 481 00:39:29,011 --> 00:39:30,528 who go down to the Navy Yard on Ground Hog Day... 482 00:39:30,548 --> 00:39:32,152 Do you have to be crass about it? 483 00:39:32,185 --> 00:39:33,921 Crass? 484 00:39:33,955 --> 00:39:34,833 Who's being crass? 485 00:39:34,853 --> 00:39:36,573 I'm just trying to get the show on the road. 486 00:39:49,647 --> 00:39:51,051 (HEATER CLATTERING) 487 00:40:00,767 --> 00:40:02,670 Jer... 488 00:40:03,872 --> 00:40:05,208 You might as well face it. 489 00:40:06,411 --> 00:40:08,813 I mean, this is it. We're here. 490 00:40:08,847 --> 00:40:10,348 Your time is up. You're a dead goose. 491 00:40:10,383 --> 00:40:11,820 Tonight's the night, Henry! 492 00:40:11,853 --> 00:40:13,269 Why do you have to take all the romance out of it! 493 00:40:13,289 --> 00:40:14,724 I'm not. 494 00:40:14,758 --> 00:40:16,674 It's just that that stupid thing's never gonna light 495 00:40:16,694 --> 00:40:18,444 and I think the best thing we can do is take off our clothes 496 00:40:18,464 --> 00:40:19,732 and hop in the old sackeroo. 497 00:40:21,803 --> 00:40:23,207 This is such a dumb room! 498 00:40:58,398 --> 00:41:00,335 (EXHALES) 499 00:41:09,085 --> 00:41:13,476 I'm sorry, but the heater has me nervous. 500 00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:23,842 Well, would you like to peel the tomato? 501 00:41:26,380 --> 00:41:27,735 What? 502 00:41:28,750 --> 00:41:30,187 Would you like to strip me? 503 00:41:31,289 --> 00:41:33,126 Don't you think it's a little cold for that? 504 00:41:36,198 --> 00:41:38,768 No, I don't mind. I sort of had it planned this way. 505 00:41:38,803 --> 00:41:40,406 You can do it as slowly as you like. 506 00:41:44,077 --> 00:41:45,781 How do you do? I'm Pookie Adams. 507 00:41:56,331 --> 00:41:57,335 Oh... 508 00:42:01,509 --> 00:42:04,305 (WATER RUNNING) 509 00:42:17,670 --> 00:42:18,905 (CLATTERS) 510 00:42:25,014 --> 00:42:26,918 (LAUGHS) 511 00:42:43,245 --> 00:42:45,183 Sweater. 512 00:42:50,325 --> 00:42:52,295 Uh, wait a minute. 513 00:43:12,196 --> 00:43:14,099 (WHISTLING) 514 00:43:20,277 --> 00:43:22,180 Blouse. 515 00:44:03,550 --> 00:44:04,654 You have to pull. 516 00:44:07,492 --> 00:44:09,328 Yeah. 517 00:44:09,528 --> 00:44:11,398 Mmm... 518 00:44:55,975 --> 00:44:57,412 Ta-da! 519 00:45:06,460 --> 00:45:09,198 Gee, your body's just beautiful, Pookie. 520 00:45:09,231 --> 00:45:10,500 Really beautiful. 521 00:45:18,613 --> 00:45:21,653 Better get my beautiful ass into this beautiful bed before it freezes off! 522 00:45:31,302 --> 00:45:32,804 Okay, Valentino, hit it! 523 00:46:04,993 --> 00:46:06,095 Jer? 524 00:46:06,128 --> 00:46:07,430 Hmm? 525 00:46:07,465 --> 00:46:09,333 Can you... 526 00:46:13,174 --> 00:46:14,244 Thank you. 527 00:46:27,798 --> 00:46:29,735 (GIGGLES) 528 00:47:04,162 --> 00:47:06,434 Bad news, Speedy, you forgot the lights. 529 00:47:11,841 --> 00:47:12,842 (THUDDING) Ow! 530 00:47:44,098 --> 00:47:45,767 (WHISPERS) Mr. and Mrs. Berkner. 531 00:47:50,741 --> 00:47:52,746 Wonder if you'd have a guy named like that? 532 00:50:04,539 --> 00:50:05,875 Uh, what's the matter? 533 00:50:06,576 --> 00:50:07,744 Nothing. 534 00:50:11,418 --> 00:50:13,755 It's just that everything's a little bit... 535 00:50:15,892 --> 00:50:17,803 perfect. 536 00:50:24,940 --> 00:50:26,842 And I... 537 00:50:28,246 --> 00:50:29,748 Somehow or other 538 00:50:29,783 --> 00:50:32,754 when everything's a little bit perfect I just get a little bit nervous. 539 00:50:35,692 --> 00:50:37,094 I mean, it can't last. 540 00:50:59,434 --> 00:51:00,970 I love you, Pookie. 541 00:51:09,550 --> 00:51:10,853 I love you. 542 00:53:56,805 --> 00:53:58,508 POOKIE: Let's never be weirdos, okay? 543 00:54:00,378 --> 00:54:02,281 JERRY: Okay. 544 00:54:10,963 --> 00:54:13,301 You shouldn't be looking in people's mailboxes. 545 00:54:13,334 --> 00:54:15,204 Why not? Nobody will care. 546 00:54:20,111 --> 00:54:21,259 Look at this guy. He's popular. 547 00:54:21,279 --> 00:54:22,416 Pookie, don't do that. 548 00:54:24,653 --> 00:54:27,022 Hey, what do you want to bet this is a love letter, Jer? 549 00:54:27,056 --> 00:54:28,592 It's probably just a bill. 550 00:54:29,695 --> 00:54:31,332 No, it's not. It's a love letter. 551 00:54:31,998 --> 00:54:33,234 Look, it's pink. 552 00:54:34,837 --> 00:54:36,974 Smell. 553 00:54:37,174 --> 00:54:39,012 See? Smells just like a mailbox. 554 00:54:41,983 --> 00:54:43,619 Oh, my dearest darling. 555 00:54:46,024 --> 00:54:47,358 Would you do me a favor? 556 00:54:50,064 --> 00:54:51,499 Would you write me a love letter? 557 00:54:55,440 --> 00:54:58,244 I mean, I know you've written letters and everything... 558 00:54:58,278 --> 00:55:00,114 But, would you write me a real love letter? 559 00:55:00,148 --> 00:55:01,382 You know, mushing gushing. 560 00:55:05,823 --> 00:55:07,792 Okay, if you want. 561 00:55:10,699 --> 00:55:11,801 (MAIL BOX CLANGING) 562 00:55:14,135 --> 00:55:16,141 My mother was great at doing that. 563 00:55:16,176 --> 00:55:17,811 Some of hers were fantastic. 564 00:55:17,846 --> 00:55:19,114 You should've seen 'em. 565 00:55:21,348 --> 00:55:23,086 I swiped one once from my father's drawer 566 00:55:23,120 --> 00:55:24,855 and made a recording of it. 567 00:55:24,890 --> 00:55:27,126 Gave it to him for a present on one of my birthdays. 568 00:55:29,864 --> 00:55:31,834 Did he like it? 569 00:55:33,672 --> 00:55:34,706 Well, he... 570 00:55:37,410 --> 00:55:39,194 He opened it up and he looked at it and he asked me what it was 571 00:55:39,214 --> 00:55:40,584 and I said, "It's a surprise. 572 00:55:40,618 --> 00:55:42,286 "Go on, put it on the record player." 573 00:55:42,321 --> 00:55:44,457 So he went and he put it on. 574 00:55:44,490 --> 00:55:46,458 And it played and he listened. 575 00:55:46,492 --> 00:55:47,796 And it played and he listened. 576 00:55:50,668 --> 00:55:54,039 He finally just whacked the needle right off the record 577 00:55:54,075 --> 00:55:56,612 and then he said, 578 00:55:56,644 --> 00:55:58,804 "Don't you ever go through my things again, Mary Anne." 579 00:56:01,018 --> 00:56:02,923 (CHUCKLES) Weird, huh? 580 00:56:02,956 --> 00:56:04,071 I'm gonna write you a love letter. 581 00:56:04,091 --> 00:56:05,141 (BOYS SINGING INDISTINCTLY) 582 00:56:05,161 --> 00:56:06,494 I love you, Pookie. 583 00:56:08,063 --> 00:56:09,233 I love you, Pookie. 584 00:56:10,202 --> 00:56:11,368 (TIRE SCREECHING) 585 00:56:12,206 --> 00:56:13,675 (JEEP HONKS) 586 00:56:15,077 --> 00:56:16,357 CHARLIE: Hey, what're you doing? 587 00:56:16,378 --> 00:56:17,914 JERRY: - What? - What're you doing? 588 00:56:18,113 --> 00:56:19,483 I'm just waiting for a bus. 589 00:56:19,516 --> 00:56:20,719 Come on! 590 00:56:20,753 --> 00:56:21,788 (ALL CLAMORING) 591 00:56:24,160 --> 00:56:25,929 (CONTINUE CLAMORING) 592 00:56:29,001 --> 00:56:30,236 Okay, I'm coming. (JEEP HONKS) 593 00:56:30,437 --> 00:56:32,157 Wait, I'm coming! CHARLIE: Come on, my dear. 594 00:56:33,708 --> 00:56:36,312 Open that can of beer immediately. 595 00:56:36,347 --> 00:56:38,283 (ALL CLAMORING) 596 00:56:40,920 --> 00:56:42,224 (BOYS SINGING INDISTINCTLY) 597 00:57:02,224 --> 00:57:03,461 So long, Jerry. 598 00:57:14,538 --> 00:57:15,641 You awake? 599 00:57:18,015 --> 00:57:19,287 The last survivor. 600 00:57:22,028 --> 00:57:24,737 Well, who'd you like to really get in the sheets with tonight? 601 00:57:24,771 --> 00:57:26,576 May or September, hmm? 602 00:57:28,749 --> 00:57:30,421 They're all all right, I guess. 603 00:57:30,454 --> 00:57:31,624 (SIGHS) 604 00:57:34,500 --> 00:57:36,239 So what're you doing for Christmas? 605 00:57:37,107 --> 00:57:39,249 You gonna go home, see your folks? 606 00:57:40,819 --> 00:57:42,792 JERRY: Yeah. 607 00:57:45,502 --> 00:57:47,709 Aw, well... 608 00:57:47,909 --> 00:57:49,781 JERRY: Hmm? 609 00:57:50,483 --> 00:57:52,289 Oh, I got a really fantastic idea. 610 00:57:54,093 --> 00:57:55,800 You really ought to learn to ski, huh? 611 00:57:55,834 --> 00:57:57,405 I can teach you to ski in a week. 612 00:57:57,437 --> 00:57:58,588 Teach you everything you want to know. 613 00:57:58,608 --> 00:58:00,481 Fundamentals. I'll have you flying in a week. 614 00:58:01,483 --> 00:58:03,155 I got too much work to do. 615 00:58:03,823 --> 00:58:05,897 You can work up there! 616 00:58:05,931 --> 00:58:08,540 And give the old dude a little help in a couple of subjects. 617 00:58:10,747 --> 00:58:12,651 Are you in trouble? 618 00:58:13,288 --> 00:58:15,728 What'd your old man say if you flunked out? 619 00:58:18,002 --> 00:58:19,439 (CHUCKLES) 620 00:58:19,474 --> 00:58:21,478 You know what my old man would say? 621 00:58:22,047 --> 00:58:23,285 He'd say, 622 00:58:26,761 --> 00:58:28,166 "Thanks a lot, Charlie." 623 00:58:31,096 --> 00:58:32,238 (CHARLIE CHUCKLES) 624 00:58:37,361 --> 00:58:40,041 POOKIE: That's just great! That's just so great for your reputation! 625 00:58:40,563 --> 00:58:41,843 JERRY: - What? - All of a sudden 626 00:58:41,890 --> 00:58:44,253 you're running off to the hills with some muscle-bound fairy. 627 00:58:44,273 --> 00:58:45,540 What're you talking about? 628 00:58:45,571 --> 00:58:47,602 Since when are you taking time out to be with the boys? 629 00:58:47,622 --> 00:58:50,125 Why do you have to make it sound so stupid? 630 00:58:50,159 --> 00:58:51,696 Guys like to be together sometimes. 631 00:58:51,730 --> 00:58:53,412 I mean, if you wanted to spend some time with your girlfriends, 632 00:58:53,432 --> 00:58:55,572 I'd be the first to understand. 633 00:58:55,605 --> 00:58:57,810 Don't make me sound like some kind of a perv! 634 00:58:59,178 --> 00:59:01,482 Charlie Schoonover is not a pervert. 635 00:59:01,515 --> 00:59:02,867 He happens to be a little thick in physics, that's all. 636 00:59:02,887 --> 00:59:04,655 Uh-huh. 637 00:59:04,690 --> 00:59:07,073 I don't know how to ski. He just offered a little tit for tat. 638 00:59:07,093 --> 00:59:08,510 Well, that sounds dirty right off the bat. 639 00:59:08,530 --> 00:59:09,846 - Cut it out, Pookie. - Oh, come on. 640 00:59:09,866 --> 00:59:11,235 When one man looks at another man 641 00:59:11,268 --> 00:59:12,136 and says, "How about a little tit for tat?" 642 00:59:12,170 --> 00:59:13,509 I said cut it out! 643 00:59:13,542 --> 00:59:15,878 Don't you know they have a secret language? 644 00:59:15,912 --> 00:59:18,030 You go on. You ask him if he has a pair of alligator shoes. 645 00:59:18,050 --> 00:59:20,321 I'll lay you five to one he'll jump right on your bones. 646 00:59:28,405 --> 00:59:30,220 Listen, I'm spending one week with Charlie Schoonover 647 00:59:30,240 --> 00:59:32,278 and one week with my family and that's that! 648 00:59:43,702 --> 00:59:45,478 What about me? 649 00:59:47,574 --> 00:59:48,813 I thought you were going home. 650 00:59:48,846 --> 00:59:51,551 Well, you never even asked me if I was. 651 00:59:51,584 --> 00:59:53,502 I just assumed you were. Where else would you go? 652 00:59:53,522 --> 00:59:55,458 I don't know. I haven't made up my mind. 653 00:59:56,526 --> 00:59:58,365 What'll you do if you don't go home? 654 00:59:59,866 --> 01:00:02,004 Wonder how my boyfriend's making out in the mountains. 655 01:00:02,037 --> 01:00:03,274 That's not even amusing. 656 01:00:08,753 --> 01:00:12,027 Maybe I'll go somewhere and get a job, earn a little extra money. 657 01:00:12,060 --> 01:00:14,144 I mean, it's not as if we made a date to spend Christmas together. 658 01:00:14,164 --> 01:00:15,212 I went home for Thanksgiving, didn't I? 659 01:00:15,232 --> 01:00:17,936 Yeah, thanks for asking me to join you. 660 01:00:17,970 --> 01:00:19,086 We've been all through that. 661 01:00:19,106 --> 01:00:20,510 You said you were going home. 662 01:00:20,542 --> 01:00:22,327 How am I supposed to know that you're gonna change your mind 663 01:00:22,347 --> 01:00:24,384 and eat dinner at some hot dog stand. 664 01:00:26,723 --> 01:00:27,973 What do you mean you're gonna need a little extra money? 665 01:00:27,993 --> 01:00:29,395 Are you broke? 666 01:00:29,426 --> 01:00:32,267 No, I'm just gonna need a little extra money, that's all. 667 01:00:32,299 --> 01:00:34,279 For what? A new joke book? 668 01:00:36,006 --> 01:00:37,344 No. 669 01:00:38,413 --> 01:00:39,782 A bassinet. 670 01:00:43,622 --> 01:00:44,658 What? 671 01:00:46,227 --> 01:00:47,363 That's right. 672 01:00:51,204 --> 01:00:55,212 - Now don't do that to me, Pookie. - You did it to me! 673 01:00:55,413 --> 01:00:58,357 - That's not funny. - Right again. 674 01:01:05,567 --> 01:01:07,870 I thought you said you knew how to handle that. 675 01:01:09,643 --> 01:01:11,814 Well, I goofed. Half the world's a bunch of goofs. 676 01:01:14,152 --> 01:01:15,300 Are you sure? Have you seen a doctor? 677 01:01:15,320 --> 01:01:16,402 I know what you're thinking. 678 01:01:16,422 --> 01:01:17,571 Pookie, have you seen a doctor? 679 01:01:17,591 --> 01:01:18,909 Pookie's got big feet and a long nose 680 01:01:18,929 --> 01:01:21,299 and an excruciatingly weird body! 681 01:01:21,333 --> 01:01:22,936 Pookie, will you please be serious? 682 01:01:22,970 --> 01:01:24,172 Well, you... 683 01:01:24,205 --> 01:01:27,480 You don't have to be the father of some ugly monster! 684 01:01:27,515 --> 01:01:29,155 I mean, my mother is reputed to have been 685 01:01:29,180 --> 01:01:30,653 a fantastic beauty in her time 686 01:01:30,686 --> 01:01:32,268 and my father's turned a few heads, too. 687 01:01:32,288 --> 01:01:33,637 So you can just relax on that score! 688 01:01:33,657 --> 01:01:35,661 Have you seen a doctor? 689 01:01:35,694 --> 01:01:36,978 You don't even have to admit to being the father. 690 01:01:36,998 --> 01:01:38,101 I'm not denying anything! 691 01:01:38,132 --> 01:01:39,932 I just wanted to know if you've seen a doctor. 692 01:01:40,110 --> 01:01:41,976 But you are! I want you to know that. 693 01:01:42,174 --> 01:01:44,057 I want you to know that no other person could possibly be! 694 01:01:44,077 --> 01:01:45,327 - Do you know what that means? - Will you please... 695 01:01:45,347 --> 01:01:46,650 Will you please settle down? 696 01:01:51,994 --> 01:01:55,165 But, if you want to, you can forget that you ever even knew me. 697 01:01:55,201 --> 01:01:56,772 That I do want you to understand. 698 01:01:57,638 --> 01:01:59,141 It's a free country. 699 01:02:00,847 --> 01:02:02,716 I'll just plead immaculate conception. 700 01:02:02,750 --> 01:02:04,121 Have you seen a doctor? 701 01:02:05,756 --> 01:02:07,425 No. 702 01:02:07,459 --> 01:02:09,072 Then I think you should see one right away. 703 01:02:09,092 --> 01:02:09,742 No. 704 01:02:09,762 --> 01:02:11,166 Why not, for God's sake? 705 01:02:11,202 --> 01:02:13,372 Because I've got a much better idea. 706 01:02:13,405 --> 01:02:14,754 You go up to the snow with your queer 707 01:02:14,774 --> 01:02:16,023 and I'll go home and see a doctor. 708 01:02:16,043 --> 01:02:18,016 And that way I can talk to my father about it. 709 01:02:20,351 --> 01:02:21,554 You gonna tell him? 710 01:02:24,358 --> 01:02:25,864 I don't know. Do you think I should? 711 01:02:34,582 --> 01:02:35,983 I don't know. 712 01:02:38,055 --> 01:02:39,932 That's up to you to decide. 713 01:02:46,807 --> 01:02:49,335 I'll marry you, of course. 714 01:02:50,648 --> 01:02:52,876 You don't have to. 715 01:02:53,252 --> 01:02:54,453 Yes, I do. 716 01:02:54,487 --> 01:02:56,158 I mean... I mean, I want to. 717 01:02:56,192 --> 01:02:58,162 I want you to know that. 718 01:03:03,342 --> 01:03:04,975 Unless... 719 01:03:05,175 --> 01:03:06,177 Unless what? 720 01:03:08,184 --> 01:03:10,487 Unless there's someone we could see about... 721 01:03:10,520 --> 01:03:12,591 No! I would never do that. 722 01:03:12,624 --> 01:03:14,105 I would never ever do a thing like that. 723 01:03:14,125 --> 01:03:16,200 I'm sorry, okay? I wasn't... I wasn't thinking. 724 01:03:30,661 --> 01:03:32,996 I will marry you though. 725 01:03:55,176 --> 01:03:56,592 Look, we'll take our vacations, all right? 726 01:03:56,612 --> 01:03:57,848 No, I'm gonna change my plans. 727 01:03:57,883 --> 01:03:59,286 No, we'll take our vacations. 728 01:04:00,422 --> 01:04:02,206 And then, when we get back we can see where we stand. 729 01:04:02,226 --> 01:04:04,263 How we feel and what we want to do about it. 730 01:04:07,068 --> 01:04:09,940 I had a friend called Elsie Cantonie, got it from a Jewish lifeguard. 731 01:04:09,973 --> 01:04:11,312 And she ended up in a convent. 732 01:04:11,345 --> 01:04:13,986 But she wanted it that way. She's happy. 733 01:04:34,589 --> 01:04:36,095 I know what you're thinking about. 734 01:04:38,896 --> 01:04:40,249 You're thinking about the first day on the bus 735 01:04:40,269 --> 01:04:42,040 and how if the nun hadn't given me the seat, 736 01:04:42,074 --> 01:04:43,943 you wouldn't be here right now. 737 01:04:45,412 --> 01:04:47,216 Well, I bet you that nun would be really happy 738 01:04:47,248 --> 01:04:49,889 if she knew she could create a child just by changing her seat. 739 01:04:54,097 --> 01:04:55,332 I'm right, aren't I? 740 01:04:56,200 --> 01:04:58,072 You are thinking about that, aren't you? 741 01:05:00,274 --> 01:05:01,311 No. 742 01:05:04,951 --> 01:05:07,085 What're you thinking about? 743 01:05:10,530 --> 01:05:12,889 Me. 744 01:05:51,286 --> 01:05:53,261 (WIND BLOWS) 745 01:06:23,842 --> 01:06:25,149 (DOOR RATTLING) 746 01:07:14,155 --> 01:07:16,773 CHARLIE: Did you ever make it with that girl? 747 01:07:17,875 --> 01:07:19,363 Not necessarily. 748 01:07:20,038 --> 01:07:21,528 (LAUGHING) 749 01:07:23,553 --> 01:07:26,058 How many girls you figure you made it with in your time? 750 01:07:26,800 --> 01:07:28,256 (SCOFFS) 751 01:07:28,287 --> 01:07:29,368 I don't know. 752 01:07:30,115 --> 01:07:31,771 How many do you figure I have? 753 01:07:31,805 --> 01:07:32,955 I don't know. 754 01:07:34,541 --> 01:07:36,029 Take a guess. 755 01:07:36,233 --> 01:07:37,688 Twelve. 756 01:07:37,889 --> 01:07:39,309 (LAUGHING) 757 01:07:42,659 --> 01:07:43,804 Guess again. 758 01:07:45,765 --> 01:07:46,917 Twenty-five? 759 01:07:47,457 --> 01:07:48,504 (LAUGHING) 760 01:07:49,451 --> 01:07:51,312 Do you want me to tell you now? 761 01:07:52,021 --> 01:07:53,373 If you want. 762 01:07:56,992 --> 01:07:58,410 Two thousand. 763 01:08:07,369 --> 01:08:10,142 (SIGHS) 764 01:08:10,176 --> 01:08:14,603 Hmm. I'll bet that you and me are the only two guys in the whole dorm 765 01:08:14,637 --> 01:08:16,993 that have never been laid. 766 01:08:29,636 --> 01:08:31,022 (BUS APPROACHING) 767 01:08:42,271 --> 01:08:43,728 (GIRLS SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) 768 01:08:53,961 --> 01:08:55,456 - Hi! - Hi! 769 01:08:56,788 --> 01:08:58,817 I was afraid you wouldn't be able to make it. 770 01:08:58,848 --> 01:09:00,479 Well, we had a date, didn't we? 771 01:09:08,691 --> 01:09:09,989 How are you? 772 01:09:10,023 --> 01:09:11,916 Just fine. How are you? 773 01:09:11,951 --> 01:09:13,815 Fine. Boy, you look terrific! 774 01:09:14,446 --> 01:09:15,541 Thank you. 775 01:09:18,038 --> 01:09:19,838 How was your friend? Did you learn how to ski? 776 01:09:21,461 --> 01:09:24,721 Uh, no. As a matter of fact I turned my ankle first day out. 777 01:09:24,754 --> 01:09:25,817 You're kidding. 778 01:09:28,477 --> 01:09:30,939 - How's your father? - Fine. 779 01:09:31,137 --> 01:09:32,711 Went home and saw him. You know, we had a... 780 01:09:32,731 --> 01:09:33,996 A lunch together. 781 01:09:34,031 --> 01:09:37,155 Big old sandwich. Ham and cheese on rye with potato salad. 782 01:09:39,352 --> 01:09:41,245 The waitress who served us was Evelyn Korbon, 783 01:09:41,278 --> 01:09:43,488 who our Senior Class voted "Most likely to travel abroad." 784 01:09:43,508 --> 01:09:44,508 Oh, yeah? 785 01:09:46,734 --> 01:09:48,860 How's your family? Bet they were glad to see you, huh? 786 01:09:48,895 --> 01:09:50,757 Yeah. 787 01:09:51,587 --> 01:09:52,717 Did you tell 'em about me? 788 01:09:53,382 --> 01:09:54,382 Sure. 789 01:09:56,210 --> 01:09:58,073 I told my father all about you. 790 01:10:04,921 --> 01:10:06,152 How's... How's the baby? 791 01:10:10,442 --> 01:10:11,540 It went away. 792 01:10:14,067 --> 01:10:16,227 Women are always having reversals in that area. 793 01:10:27,334 --> 01:10:30,061 - Relieved, huh, Jer? - Yeah. 794 01:10:46,010 --> 01:10:48,559 - You okay? - Yeah. 795 01:10:53,218 --> 01:10:54,451 How do you feel about it? 796 01:10:57,585 --> 01:10:59,553 Fine. 797 01:11:00,521 --> 01:11:01,724 Did you ever get to a doctor? 798 01:11:03,291 --> 01:11:04,324 What for? 799 01:11:06,560 --> 01:11:08,261 Well, you were pregnant. 800 01:11:09,495 --> 01:11:11,463 Well, did you lose it, or was it a false alarm? 801 01:11:14,132 --> 01:11:16,000 Jer, I don't know if I was preg. (CHUCKLES) 802 01:11:17,301 --> 01:11:19,369 I mean, I threw up in the bus, didn't I? 803 01:11:19,403 --> 01:11:20,903 But you didn't go to a doctor. 804 01:11:26,174 --> 01:11:27,875 Why are you getting upset? 805 01:11:27,910 --> 01:11:29,109 I'm not upset. 806 01:11:29,145 --> 01:11:30,777 You are. 807 01:11:30,811 --> 01:11:32,748 I just wanted to know how you felt about it. 808 01:11:36,883 --> 01:11:38,719 I can't tell you how I felt about it. 809 01:11:42,054 --> 01:11:43,355 I loved it. 810 01:11:47,191 --> 01:11:48,624 I loved every minute of it. 811 01:11:51,360 --> 01:11:53,528 It took me home, it took me downtown, 812 01:11:53,562 --> 01:11:55,798 it took me right through Trepton's Department Store. 813 01:11:55,831 --> 01:11:58,665 It took me right past Janet Young and Floyd Petersen. 814 01:11:58,697 --> 01:12:00,267 It let me have lunch with my father. 815 01:12:00,301 --> 01:12:02,503 It let me order ham and cheese from Evelyn Korbon. 816 01:12:06,238 --> 01:12:07,673 That's how I felt about it. 817 01:12:09,007 --> 01:12:10,974 It took me. 818 01:12:11,175 --> 01:12:12,543 It made me something. 819 01:12:14,778 --> 01:12:15,812 And I loved it. 820 01:12:18,446 --> 01:12:20,381 Whether it was there or not, I believed it. 821 01:12:22,250 --> 01:12:23,651 And I'm sorry that it went away. 822 01:12:35,592 --> 01:12:37,696 You're gonna be a weirdo soon, aren't you? 823 01:12:50,070 --> 01:12:51,074 Oh, Pook. 824 01:12:55,042 --> 01:12:56,344 Don't go away, okay? 825 01:12:57,976 --> 01:12:59,044 Pookie... 826 01:13:00,445 --> 01:13:02,381 Maybe they aren't... They aren't all so bad. 827 01:13:04,015 --> 01:13:06,284 Maybe everybody is just a little cautious of everybody. 828 01:13:06,317 --> 01:13:07,551 You're really wrong as rain. 829 01:13:07,585 --> 01:13:08,785 I know. I grew up with them. 830 01:13:08,818 --> 01:13:10,521 They're all a bunch of rotten eggs. 831 01:13:13,089 --> 01:13:14,369 Why can't you give 'em a chance? 832 01:13:15,257 --> 01:13:16,425 What do you mean? 833 01:13:17,359 --> 01:13:19,561 Pookie, there's this dumb weekend coming up. 834 01:13:19,594 --> 01:13:21,829 House party weekend. 835 01:13:21,862 --> 01:13:24,731 It's supposed to be one of the major events of the year or something. 836 01:13:24,763 --> 01:13:27,628 Pookie, I want us to go. It's time for us to. 837 01:13:31,203 --> 01:13:32,804 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 838 01:13:42,411 --> 01:13:43,545 (INAUDIBLE) 839 01:15:18,551 --> 01:15:20,719 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 840 01:15:36,664 --> 01:15:38,833 (POOKIE LAUGHING) 841 01:15:48,104 --> 01:15:50,041 (LAUGHING) 842 01:15:53,178 --> 01:15:54,678 (BOTH LAUGHING) 843 01:15:59,315 --> 01:16:01,818 - I'm gonna be sick... - Oh, no, no! 844 01:16:02,016 --> 01:16:03,351 Come on. 845 01:16:03,383 --> 01:16:05,367 Let's do some... Let's do some breathing exercises. 846 01:16:05,387 --> 01:16:06,422 (SCREAMING) 847 01:16:06,454 --> 01:16:07,557 (LAUGHING) 848 01:16:13,792 --> 01:16:16,596 King of the Creep on ice he is! (LAUGHING) 849 01:16:21,232 --> 01:16:23,166 (GIBBERISH) (LAUGHING) 850 01:16:23,366 --> 01:16:25,661 Old chicken breast... (BOTH LAUGHING) 851 01:16:26,468 --> 01:16:28,667 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 852 01:16:37,445 --> 01:16:39,146 POOKIE: Oh! (CHARLIE MOOING) 853 01:16:39,346 --> 01:16:41,903 Pook: Big bull. (CHARLIE MOOING) 854 01:16:43,614 --> 01:16:44,983 (BOTH LAUGHING) 855 01:16:45,016 --> 01:16:46,785 Great big fat bull! 856 01:16:48,187 --> 01:16:49,853 Bully for you, chicken! 857 01:16:53,955 --> 01:16:55,858 Let's, let's snow on the plebeians! 858 01:16:56,557 --> 01:16:59,122 - The what? - The plebeians. 859 01:16:59,320 --> 01:17:01,129 (SINGING INDISTINCTLY) 860 01:17:03,362 --> 01:17:04,866 (POOKIE LAUGHING) 861 01:17:06,532 --> 01:17:08,167 (POOKIE AND CHARLIE LAUGHING) 862 01:17:09,469 --> 01:17:10,670 (SINGING STOPS) 863 01:17:10,703 --> 01:17:12,831 POOKIE: Let's snow on the plebeians! 864 01:17:13,030 --> 01:17:15,617 - The plebleians? - The plebeians! 865 01:17:15,973 --> 01:17:17,475 Whoo! 866 01:17:17,675 --> 01:17:19,143 (POOKIE YELLING) 867 01:17:19,175 --> 01:17:23,045 Here she comes, the high priestess of the plebeians. 868 01:17:23,079 --> 01:17:25,647 POOKIE: Plebeians. Ole, ole! 869 01:17:25,680 --> 01:17:26,883 ANTOINETTE: God. 870 01:17:28,217 --> 01:17:29,250 Antoinette. 871 01:17:30,751 --> 01:17:32,752 Antoinette Green! 872 01:17:32,785 --> 01:17:35,088 Antoinette Green! (LAUGHING) 873 01:17:36,286 --> 01:17:40,493 What God has not given Antoinette Green, 874 01:17:40,525 --> 01:17:42,593 Antoinette Green has had done! 875 01:17:42,627 --> 01:17:43,761 (LAUGHING) 876 01:17:43,795 --> 01:17:45,562 Would you like to know 877 01:17:45,595 --> 01:17:48,198 Antoinette's Greens real measurements, weirdos? 878 01:17:49,832 --> 01:17:54,301 Twenty-eight, thirty, forty-one! 879 01:17:54,336 --> 01:17:55,571 (LAUGHING) 880 01:17:56,504 --> 01:17:59,007 Jenny Wallace! Nose job. 881 01:17:59,039 --> 01:18:00,974 A bad one. Fifty bucks, a cheapie. 882 01:18:01,007 --> 01:18:02,374 CHARLIE: Come on now, don't... 883 01:18:02,409 --> 01:18:04,010 POOKIE: Helen Upshaw's going bald! 884 01:18:04,042 --> 01:18:05,143 CHARLIE: Hey! 885 01:18:05,177 --> 01:18:07,745 Lillian Lerner's dentures! 886 01:18:07,779 --> 01:18:09,528 Watch out, my lads, she'll snap you to death! 887 01:18:09,548 --> 01:18:10,814 Lay off. 888 01:18:10,848 --> 01:18:12,851 Snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap. 889 01:18:12,884 --> 01:18:13,884 - Come on, relax. - What? 890 01:18:14,083 --> 01:18:15,519 I think you'd better get off of me. 891 01:18:15,552 --> 01:18:17,053 The biggest phony of all them 892 01:18:17,087 --> 01:18:19,189 lies up there somewhere in that floating mass. 893 01:18:20,254 --> 01:18:21,623 Nancy Putnam! 894 01:18:23,257 --> 01:18:26,461 Ninety percent of Nancy Putnam's body is by Dupont. 895 01:18:26,493 --> 01:18:29,236 - Hey, look... - Fiberglass Du Pont. 896 01:18:29,989 --> 01:18:31,012 - Fiberglass brain. - Hey, cut it out. 897 01:18:31,032 --> 01:18:33,166 - Fiberglass smile! - Just get down, will ya. 898 01:18:33,366 --> 01:18:34,968 Wait a minute. 899 01:18:35,001 --> 01:18:38,070 What about this big bull upon whose shoulders I sit? 900 01:18:39,269 --> 01:18:42,072 Maybe he's the biggest deceiver of them all. 901 01:18:42,106 --> 01:18:43,573 Maybe he's not even a bull. 902 01:18:43,607 --> 01:18:45,842 Maybe he's just a glad ole cow. 903 01:18:45,876 --> 01:18:47,176 CHARLIE: Oh, shut up, will ya! 904 01:18:47,210 --> 01:18:48,411 "Moo," says this giant cow 905 01:18:48,444 --> 01:18:51,078 who lures young men into the wilderness as a fairy lures... 906 01:18:51,112 --> 01:18:52,214 Shut up! 907 01:18:52,612 --> 01:18:53,849 You shut up! 908 01:19:06,290 --> 01:19:08,424 (POOKIE GRUNTS) 909 01:19:18,200 --> 01:19:20,913 (BELL TOLLING) 910 01:19:26,906 --> 01:19:29,311 JERRY: Hello, uh, could I speak to Pookie Adams, please? 911 01:19:41,950 --> 01:19:44,085 Jerry? Hi. 912 01:19:44,118 --> 01:19:45,387 Hi. 913 01:19:45,420 --> 01:19:47,125 - How are you? - Just fine. 914 01:19:47,326 --> 01:19:48,269 You sound terrific. 915 01:19:48,289 --> 01:19:50,992 Your voice sounds really great. How are you? 916 01:19:51,026 --> 01:19:52,557 Just fine. 917 01:19:53,261 --> 01:19:55,762 Hey, did you get my letter? I'm a terrific artist, huh? 918 01:19:56,795 --> 01:19:58,330 You still mad at me? 919 01:19:58,364 --> 01:19:59,797 No, I'm not mad. 920 01:19:59,831 --> 01:20:01,032 Are you sure? 921 01:20:01,067 --> 01:20:02,467 I'm sure. 922 01:20:02,500 --> 01:20:03,933 Oh, good. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 923 01:20:05,536 --> 01:20:07,337 I know I was bad. I'm really sorry. 924 01:20:07,371 --> 01:20:09,003 You know what I was gonna do? 925 01:20:09,038 --> 01:20:09,575 You won't believe this. 926 01:20:09,775 --> 01:20:10,886 I was gonna take an ad out in your school paper 927 01:20:10,906 --> 01:20:12,274 saying something to the effect of, 928 01:20:12,307 --> 01:20:14,643 "Miss Pookie Adams is terrifically sorry 929 01:20:14,676 --> 01:20:16,411 "for acting like a weirdo at the Phi..." 930 01:20:16,444 --> 01:20:18,160 No, don't do that, Pookie. Pookie, don't do that. 931 01:20:18,180 --> 01:20:20,780 Oh, Jer, I wasn't going to do that. Don't you know me by now? 932 01:20:20,814 --> 01:20:22,148 Don't you know when I'm kidding? 933 01:20:23,183 --> 01:20:24,384 But I am sorry. 934 01:20:26,918 --> 01:20:29,754 Yeah, I know you are, Pook. No, I'm not mad at you. Promise. 935 01:20:29,787 --> 01:20:31,488 Double promise? 936 01:20:31,521 --> 01:20:32,823 Double promise. 937 01:20:34,490 --> 01:20:35,892 Oh, Jer, I love you! 938 01:20:40,728 --> 01:20:41,931 I love you. 939 01:20:44,430 --> 01:20:45,833 I love you, Pookie. 940 01:20:52,504 --> 01:20:53,938 Well, you sound funny. 941 01:20:55,973 --> 01:20:57,276 Like you want to say something. 942 01:20:59,844 --> 01:21:01,577 You are mad at me, aren't you? 943 01:21:01,610 --> 01:21:04,980 No, Pook, I'm not mad at you. It's just... 944 01:21:05,014 --> 01:21:07,748 Uh, I have to talk to you about Easter vacation. 945 01:21:08,550 --> 01:21:09,850 Well, we're going, aren't we? 946 01:21:09,883 --> 01:21:11,365 I mean, you promised to take me, remember? 947 01:21:11,385 --> 01:21:12,719 Yeah, I know I did. 948 01:21:12,752 --> 01:21:15,069 I'm not gonna embarrass you in front of your parents or anything. 949 01:21:15,089 --> 01:21:16,790 - Scout's honor I won't. - Pookie... 950 01:21:16,988 --> 01:21:20,092 I'm not going home for Easter vacation. 951 01:21:20,127 --> 01:21:23,895 I, uh... I got some notices of flunk warnings and... 952 01:21:23,929 --> 01:21:27,565 Well, I've decided to stay here at the dorm over Easter and work. 953 01:21:27,598 --> 01:21:30,202 I mean, they close up the house and I'll have it all to myself. 954 01:21:33,668 --> 01:21:35,070 Boy, you are mad at me, aren't you? 955 01:21:35,104 --> 01:21:36,670 Pook, I'm not mad at you. 956 01:21:36,705 --> 01:21:39,173 I got... I got flunk warnings in English and Philosophy... 957 01:21:39,206 --> 01:21:41,321 Listen, you won't believe what I've been doing this week. 958 01:21:41,341 --> 01:21:43,910 You know, I've really been making a terrific effort to be friends 959 01:21:43,943 --> 01:21:45,725 with some of the weirdos around here. I mean... 960 01:21:45,745 --> 01:21:47,080 Pookie, listen... 961 01:21:47,114 --> 01:21:48,628 I even apologized to Helen... Helen Upshaw. 962 01:21:48,648 --> 01:21:49,034 Listen to me. 963 01:21:49,054 --> 01:21:50,995 And I told Lillian Lerner that I didn't know that 964 01:21:51,196 --> 01:21:51,773 she wore dentures. 965 01:21:51,973 --> 01:21:53,495 That it was just an accident and a coincidence. 966 01:21:53,515 --> 01:21:55,319 I don't even remember saying about dumb Helen. 967 01:21:55,519 --> 01:21:56,867 - Will you listen! Please! - I mean... 968 01:21:56,887 --> 01:21:59,003 Just give me another chance, okay? 969 01:21:59,200 --> 01:22:01,300 It has nothing to do with another chance. 970 01:22:02,158 --> 01:22:04,259 It has to do with my academic standing. 971 01:22:04,292 --> 01:22:06,861 It has to do with whether I flunk out of school or not. 972 01:22:06,893 --> 01:22:09,130 It has to do with me. Not us, but me. 973 01:22:09,162 --> 01:22:11,765 And I'm not going home for Easter vacation. 974 01:22:11,797 --> 01:22:14,201 And it's not because I'm mad at you. Do you understand that? 975 01:22:15,499 --> 01:22:17,002 Pookie, are you listening? 976 01:22:17,036 --> 01:22:19,070 I've got a fantastic idea. 977 01:22:21,105 --> 01:22:23,040 I'm gonna... I'll come up there and be with you. 978 01:22:23,073 --> 01:22:25,241 What? 979 01:22:25,274 --> 01:22:29,009 During the vacation. I'll just whirl right on up to the dorm. 980 01:22:29,044 --> 01:22:30,927 It'll be great. Like you said, nobody will be there 981 01:22:30,947 --> 01:22:32,059 and we'll have the whole place to ourselves. 982 01:22:32,079 --> 01:22:33,614 And I can cook for you. 983 01:22:33,648 --> 01:22:34,862 And I'll make the bed and everything. 984 01:22:34,882 --> 01:22:36,263 I'll keep the Avon lady off your back. 985 01:22:36,283 --> 01:22:37,352 No, Pook. 986 01:22:39,220 --> 01:22:42,054 But I think it'll be really good for us, you know? 987 01:22:42,086 --> 01:22:44,491 Nobody will be there and it'll be like living together. 988 01:22:44,523 --> 01:22:47,157 Like we're man and wife. 989 01:22:47,192 --> 01:22:49,659 Pookie, don't you understand? My head is on the block. 990 01:22:49,860 --> 01:22:51,580 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) But you can still study. 991 01:22:53,529 --> 01:22:54,531 I mean... 992 01:22:56,565 --> 01:22:57,651 I can amuse myself. 993 01:22:57,852 --> 01:23:00,536 God, I'm the all-time self-amuser, remember me? 994 01:23:01,735 --> 01:23:03,271 Pookie, it's just not a good idea. 995 01:23:04,238 --> 01:23:05,853 Jer, what do you mean it's not a good idea? 996 01:23:05,873 --> 01:23:07,340 I think it's a fantastic idea. 997 01:23:08,375 --> 01:23:10,243 Pookie, it won't work. 998 01:23:10,276 --> 01:23:12,010 I've got too much work to do. 999 01:23:12,044 --> 01:23:13,847 You'd better plan on visiting your dad. 1000 01:23:19,316 --> 01:23:21,318 I have no intention of visiting my... 1001 01:23:22,786 --> 01:23:25,021 I don't call him my dad, I call him my father! 1002 01:23:26,954 --> 01:23:28,335 And as for your head being on the block, 1003 01:23:28,355 --> 01:23:29,736 well, maybe everybody's head's on the block. 1004 01:23:29,756 --> 01:23:31,524 Did you ever think about that? 1005 01:23:31,557 --> 01:23:33,506 I mean, maybe everybody's in a little bit of trouble. 1006 01:23:33,526 --> 01:23:34,941 Did you ever think about that, Jerry? 1007 01:23:34,961 --> 01:23:36,362 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 1008 01:23:36,396 --> 01:23:38,463 Will you get out of here, you goony virgin! 1009 01:23:41,431 --> 01:23:42,433 I mean, look, Jer... 1010 01:23:43,568 --> 01:23:45,235 A whole campus to ourselves. 1011 01:23:48,670 --> 01:23:50,073 I mean, don't we owe it? 1012 01:23:51,240 --> 01:23:53,443 I mean, all the time that we've spent together? 1013 01:23:54,742 --> 01:23:56,110 Don't you think that we owe it? 1014 01:24:00,981 --> 01:24:02,882 Jer... (CRIES) I don't want to go home! 1015 01:24:03,382 --> 01:24:05,015 He won't be there. 1016 01:24:05,050 --> 01:24:07,086 He won't be there. He wasn't there Christmas. 1017 01:24:07,118 --> 01:24:09,422 I didn't even have a sandwich with him. 1018 01:24:11,522 --> 01:24:13,024 Please. 1019 01:24:14,823 --> 01:24:18,194 I just don't want to go back and hang around there, you know. 1020 01:24:21,329 --> 01:24:23,160 Jer? 1021 01:24:23,359 --> 01:24:25,213 Jerry? 1022 01:24:27,932 --> 01:24:29,436 All right, Pookie. 1023 01:24:31,103 --> 01:24:33,371 It'll be terrific! (CHUCKLES) 1024 01:24:33,407 --> 01:24:34,607 You wait and see! 1025 01:24:37,975 --> 01:24:39,916 - Listen, I have to go now. - Okay. 1026 01:24:40,745 --> 01:24:42,212 Okay, I'll see you then. 1027 01:24:43,977 --> 01:24:45,685 Bye. 1028 01:24:45,889 --> 01:24:47,514 (LINE CLICKS) 1029 01:24:54,211 --> 01:24:55,691 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 1030 01:26:08,662 --> 01:26:10,625 (PAPER RUSTLING) 1031 01:28:56,348 --> 01:28:57,075 What do you know. 1032 01:28:57,277 --> 01:28:59,118 It's only eight weeks till summer vacation. 1033 01:29:03,586 --> 01:29:06,071 I guess some people are planning already, huh? 1034 01:29:10,490 --> 01:29:11,492 I guess so. 1035 01:29:20,898 --> 01:29:23,773 Oh, God. I used to hate those vacations. 1036 01:29:24,835 --> 01:29:27,004 If he didn't ship me off to my grandmother's 1037 01:29:27,037 --> 01:29:29,825 he'd store me off in some summer camp. 1038 01:29:31,039 --> 01:29:31,705 Talk about your weirdos. 1039 01:29:31,907 --> 01:29:33,253 If you wanted to catch every creep in the world, 1040 01:29:33,273 --> 01:29:34,940 all you had to do was wait till summer 1041 01:29:34,976 --> 01:29:37,344 and drop your net over Camp Arak-Arak-Aranna. 1042 01:29:45,316 --> 01:29:47,832 Just think, Jer. Three months without a weirdo. 1043 01:29:58,324 --> 01:29:59,527 (PENCIL SCRATCHING) 1044 01:30:36,184 --> 01:30:42,008 (ECHOING) Jerry Payne is a rotten egg! 1045 01:31:48,134 --> 01:31:50,001 I hope you pass everything. 1046 01:31:50,035 --> 01:31:52,034 JERRY: Thanks. (CAR ENGINE STARTS) 1047 01:31:53,571 --> 01:31:55,483 Uh, Pookie? 1048 01:31:56,206 --> 01:31:57,906 I've been thinking and... 1049 01:31:59,575 --> 01:32:02,911 Well, I wonder if maybe seeing so much of each other is really such a good thing. 1050 01:32:06,347 --> 01:32:07,381 What I mean is, 1051 01:32:08,948 --> 01:32:10,830 maybe we should stay apart from each other for a little while. 1052 01:32:10,850 --> 01:32:13,207 Say four or five weeks. 1053 01:32:14,551 --> 01:32:18,688 I mean, sometimes a separation like that can be good for people. 1054 01:32:18,721 --> 01:32:21,424 You know, it'll give us both a chance to settle back into school. 1055 01:32:23,624 --> 01:32:25,960 I mean, the odds are after a month like that... 1056 01:32:26,694 --> 01:32:28,528 A month's separation, it's... 1057 01:32:28,561 --> 01:32:29,662 Well... 1058 01:32:31,429 --> 01:32:33,866 We'll really get to appreciate each other 1059 01:32:33,898 --> 01:32:36,234 and get a better perspective on each other. 1060 01:32:38,002 --> 01:32:40,637 I mean, odds are... 1061 01:32:40,837 --> 01:32:44,206 After a separation like that we'll be just dying to see each other. 1062 01:32:44,239 --> 01:32:46,385 Odds are. 1063 01:32:48,207 --> 01:32:50,280 You understand what I mean? 1064 01:32:54,813 --> 01:32:55,981 Uh... 1065 01:32:57,314 --> 01:32:59,155 Well... 1066 01:32:59,782 --> 01:33:03,691 I'll see you then in about a month's time. I'll give you a call, okay? 1067 01:33:12,191 --> 01:33:14,621 Bye, Jer. 1068 01:33:20,431 --> 01:33:22,134 (CAR HONKS) 1069 01:33:35,607 --> 01:33:36,943 (INDISTINCT TALK) 1070 01:33:38,675 --> 01:33:40,011 (JEEP HONKS) 1071 01:33:48,152 --> 01:33:50,084 Hey. 1072 01:34:08,229 --> 01:34:09,332 - Hello? - GIRL: Hello. 1073 01:34:09,531 --> 01:34:11,097 May I speak to Pookie Adams, please? 1074 01:34:11,131 --> 01:34:12,299 I'm sorry, she's not here. 1075 01:34:14,900 --> 01:34:16,603 Well, may I leave a message? 1076 01:34:16,636 --> 01:34:18,570 I can switch you to the Administration office. 1077 01:34:18,604 --> 01:34:20,339 No, she's a student there in the house. 1078 01:34:20,541 --> 01:34:22,766 She's not here anymore. 1079 01:34:23,008 --> 01:34:24,408 You mean she's in another house? 1080 01:34:24,607 --> 01:34:26,020 No, she's left school. 1081 01:34:26,219 --> 01:34:27,274 - She left? - Yes, sir. 1082 01:34:27,475 --> 01:34:28,910 The school? 1083 01:34:30,745 --> 01:34:33,480 Uh, I'm talking about Mary Anne Adams. They call her Pookie. 1084 01:34:33,513 --> 01:34:36,166 Yes, Pookie Adams. She left school. 1085 01:34:36,515 --> 01:34:38,518 Well, did she leave a forwarding address? 1086 01:34:38,551 --> 01:34:40,881 - I don't believe she left... - Did she go home? 1087 01:34:41,081 --> 01:34:42,953 I don't know, sir. 1088 01:34:42,987 --> 01:34:45,423 Well, somebody must know where she is. 1089 01:34:45,456 --> 01:34:48,125 Maybe if you talked to the Administration office they can help you. 1090 01:34:52,027 --> 01:34:53,528 Thank you. 1091 01:34:54,029 --> 01:34:55,195 (LINE CLICKS) 1092 01:35:02,134 --> 01:35:05,370 (NANCY SINGING) 1093 01:35:05,403 --> 01:35:06,738 (PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY) 1094 01:35:20,779 --> 01:35:22,116 (INDISTINCT TALK) 1095 01:35:25,016 --> 01:35:26,115 - Hi, Jerry. - Hi, Mel. 1096 01:35:26,416 --> 01:35:28,051 You know everybody, don't you? 1097 01:35:29,153 --> 01:35:30,605 Here. 1098 01:35:31,253 --> 01:35:32,522 Hi, Nancy. 1099 01:35:32,556 --> 01:35:33,588 Hi, Jerry. How are you? 1100 01:35:33,623 --> 01:35:34,956 Just fine. How are you? 1101 01:35:37,491 --> 01:35:39,927 I've been meaning to call you, as a matter of fact. 1102 01:35:41,761 --> 01:35:44,498 I wondered if, uh, you'd heard anything about Pookie. 1103 01:35:44,530 --> 01:35:46,464 Well, I don't know if I can help you much. 1104 01:35:46,496 --> 01:35:47,956 We weren't the best of friends. 1105 01:35:48,799 --> 01:35:50,630 Yeah, I just wondered if somebody had, you know, 1106 01:35:50,650 --> 01:35:52,094 heard something. 1107 01:35:52,535 --> 01:35:54,017 All I know is that the Administration did try 1108 01:35:54,037 --> 01:35:55,838 and get in touch with her father. 1109 01:35:55,870 --> 01:35:58,882 Well, so did I. But, uh, he wasn't there. 1110 01:35:59,707 --> 01:36:01,307 I even wrote, but I never got an answer. 1111 01:36:10,479 --> 01:36:11,716 (PLAYING) 1112 01:36:12,349 --> 01:36:13,783 (NANCY HUMS) 1113 01:36:22,122 --> 01:36:26,190 Alas my love you do me wrong 1114 01:36:26,225 --> 01:36:29,195 To cast me out discourteously 1115 01:36:41,434 --> 01:36:42,770 (BURPING) 1116 01:36:53,242 --> 01:36:54,245 (SIGHS) 1117 01:36:56,680 --> 01:36:57,779 (CLATTERS) 1118 01:37:35,507 --> 01:37:36,774 (LINE RINGING) 1119 01:37:39,075 --> 01:37:40,776 WOMAN: Hello? 1120 01:37:40,809 --> 01:37:42,746 Yes, I'm sorry to bother you this late, 1121 01:37:42,779 --> 01:37:44,680 but do you have a Miss Adams registered there? 1122 01:37:45,646 --> 01:37:48,213 Adams? No. No Adams. 1123 01:37:48,249 --> 01:37:50,316 I'm sorry. 1124 01:37:50,351 --> 01:37:53,085 I thought I saw someone I recognized in the upstairs front window. 1125 01:37:53,853 --> 01:37:55,921 No Adams. Sorry. 1126 01:37:56,120 --> 01:37:59,535 Upstairs front has a Berkner. 1127 01:37:59,736 --> 01:38:01,624 Thank you. 1128 01:39:43,528 --> 01:39:44,962 POOKIE: Hi, Jer. 1129 01:39:46,363 --> 01:39:47,864 I knew you'd figure it out. 1130 01:39:59,739 --> 01:40:01,074 I don't understand, Pookie. 1131 01:40:03,707 --> 01:40:04,976 You don't understand. 1132 01:40:36,397 --> 01:40:37,466 Why are you here? 1133 01:40:41,801 --> 01:40:43,136 What are you planning to do? 1134 01:40:47,705 --> 01:40:49,273 I went to Boston. 1135 01:40:51,942 --> 01:40:53,809 I felt sick in Boston. 1136 01:40:56,844 --> 01:40:58,180 And then the car broke down. 1137 01:40:58,213 --> 01:40:59,815 It just wouldn't run anymore. 1138 01:41:02,982 --> 01:41:04,851 I didn't know where else to go, so I came here. 1139 01:41:04,884 --> 01:41:06,252 Real surprise, huh? 1140 01:41:12,422 --> 01:41:13,824 What do you want to do? 1141 01:41:27,233 --> 01:41:28,467 (SOBBING) 1142 01:41:42,111 --> 01:41:44,245 I don't know. What do you think that I should do? 1143 01:41:45,579 --> 01:41:47,513 I don't know. 1144 01:41:50,816 --> 01:41:52,116 Maybe you should go home. 1145 01:41:53,884 --> 01:41:55,751 Your father might be back by now. 1146 01:41:55,785 --> 01:41:57,785 - Yeah. - I tried to contact him. 1147 01:41:58,354 --> 01:41:59,455 Yeah. 1148 01:42:06,027 --> 01:42:07,394 Pookie, have you slept? 1149 01:42:07,794 --> 01:42:08,963 (SIGHS) 1150 01:42:10,762 --> 01:42:12,331 I guess I've been here about a week. 1151 01:42:17,267 --> 01:42:19,402 Why don't you try to get some sleep? 1152 01:42:19,435 --> 01:42:20,802 I'll stay here with you. 1153 01:42:23,038 --> 01:42:24,973 And later on, we... (SNIFFLES) 1154 01:42:25,173 --> 01:42:26,541 We'll decide what to do. 1155 01:42:26,574 --> 01:42:27,841 Okay. 1156 01:42:38,181 --> 01:42:40,117 You're gonna send me back home, aren't you? 1157 01:42:46,990 --> 01:42:49,191 You're gonna send me back to that mailman, aren't you? 1158 01:42:57,095 --> 01:42:58,597 Twice I've seen you from the window. 1159 01:43:27,772 --> 01:43:29,284 (MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING) 1160 01:44:32,008 --> 01:44:36,161 Come Saturday morning 1161 01:44:36,358 --> 01:44:41,577 I'm goin' away with my friend 1162 01:44:41,778 --> 01:44:48,590 Well Saturday-spend 'til the end of the day 1163 01:44:52,008 --> 01:44:55,604 Just I and my friend 1164 01:44:57,235 --> 01:45:04,043 The secrets to tell in our Saturday spent 1165 01:45:04,755 --> 01:45:09,012 And then we'll move on 1166 01:45:09,211 --> 01:45:13,461 But we will remember 1167 01:45:13,661 --> 01:45:18,173 Long after Saturday's gone 1168 01:45:41,898 --> 01:45:45,304 Just I and my friend 1169 01:45:47,357 --> 01:45:52,523 Is nobody there in a saturday free 1170 01:45:54,723 --> 01:45:59,247 And then we'll move on 1171 01:45:59,446 --> 01:46:04,134 But we will remember 1172 01:46:04,332 --> 01:46:08,006 Long after Saturday's gone 1173 01:46:11,830 --> 01:46:14,337 (BUS APPROACHING) 1174 01:46:37,069 --> 01:46:40,309 Just I and my friend 1175 01:46:42,342 --> 01:46:48,360 Wherever knows our Saturday goes 1176 01:46:49,632 --> 01:46:53,540 And so we'll move on 1177 01:46:54,766 --> 01:46:58,498 But we will remember 1178 01:46:58,697 --> 01:47:02,929 Long after Saturday's gone 1179 01:47:29,297 --> 01:47:32,860 Subtitles: Kilo 1180 01:47:33,305 --> 01:48:33,669 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.